Evolution
by 2queens1prince
Summary: Elizabeth has to come to terms with Henry's religion before they can have a relationship.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first fic. I think the dynamic of faith between Elizabeth and Henry hasn't really been explored in the fanfic world. I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring and see what happens. Reviews would be appreciated.

I own nothing.

October 7, 1988

Elizabeth twirled the fettuccine around her fork before lifting it to her mouth. "Mmmm." She let out a little sigh. "Henry, this is so good. How was I so lucky to land such a smart, handsome man who is also such a fabulous cook?" Elizabeth glanced up just in time to catch Henry shift uneasily in his chair. Immediately, she reached across the small table in his apartment and touched his hand. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

Henry snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh! Nothing. It's nothing. Just something that crossed my mind. We can talk about it later." Quickly, changing the subject, he asked, "How's the mid-term studying going?'

"For the most part, it's going pretty well. My International Law class may send me off the deep end though. I've read so many cases and decisions and they are all vague and wordy and make no sense at all." Elizabeth forcefully exhaled and ran a hand through her blond curls.

"I'm sure you are worrying for nothing. You always do well," he commented as he picked up their empty plates and carried them to the sink. Elizabeth also rose and gathered the wine glasses which she deposited on the bar to refill.

"Yes. But you know how I don't like to fall behind. I want to be ahead of the game."

"Oh, I know all about you staying ahead of the game," Henry smirked as he rounded the end of the bar wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her close. Elizabeth melted into his embrace as Henry kissed the top of her head. Tipping her head back, she was looking for more, but Henry took her by the hands and led her to the couch. "Sit with me. I want to talk to you about something."

"What is it? There _is_ something wrong!" Henry could see Elizabeth's crystal blue eyes cloud over in confusion and just a hint of fear.

"No, no! Nothing's wrong," he reassured her. "I've just been thinking and I want to talk to you about…" Henry took a deep breath. "…my faith.

Elizabeth pulled her hands away from Henry and placed them in her lap. Her head dropped and she closed her eyes. Henry put his finger under her chin and gently pulled her head up so that he could look into her eyes. He could tell that she was thinking back to the past.

Growing up, Elizabeth's family had never been overly religious. Occasionally her parents would get on what she called "a church kick" and take her and her brother, Will, to various services. It usually last a few months at most, and then the family would slowly fall back into their habit of sleeping in on Sunday mornings, working around their horse farm and then going on a family ride later in the day. It wasn't that she never believed in the possibility of God, but more that it was just something that others did.

When, at age 14, Elizabeth lost her parents in a car accident, she stood in the family line at the funeral home and listened what seemed like thousands of people offer their platitudes about her parents "being in a better place" and "going home to Jesus." It was then that Elizabeth really tried to embrace the idea. She prayed like she had been taught in Sunday school. She prayed that God would bring her parents back. She prayed that He would mend her broken heart. She prayed for a better relationship with Will. She prayed that her aunt and uncle would love her and Will like their parents had. Nothing happened. In fact, she felt like the whole situation worsened, if that was even possible. Her aunt and uncle had no idea what to do with two adolescents and remained emotionally distant. They sent the siblings to a prestigious private school. Will seemed to thrive. He made friends quickly and seemingly moved on. Elizabeth fell into an emotionless existence.

It was during Christmas break during her freshman year at there that she finally hit rock bottom. Will had left to spend the break with friends. Everyone just left. Elizabeth guessed that the administration assumed she went home, but her aunt and uncle were vacationing somewhere out of the country. She was all alone. She didn't mind so much at first. She was tired of trying to hold all of her emotions in check. She was hurt and angry and generally pissed off. Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to just spend a week not having to worry about what everyone else was doing or saying. She just happened to be sitting in the commons room reading a book when her eyes scanned across the word "God."

Months of suppressed emotion surged through Elizabeth's body. There was no possible way to control it. She threw the book across the room. "God? What fucking God?" she screamed. "No God who claimed to be good would hurt my parents. No loving God would take away the only people who loved me. No caring God would allow me to be sent away. _They_ are all wrong. There is no God!" Elizabeth's tirade went on until she passed out from exhaustion.

She woke hours later, laying on the floor of the commons room. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes, still puffy from crying. She winced and looked down at her throbbing hand. The knuckles on her right hand were bruised and split open, lines of blood dried in the cracks. Looking up, she gasped. The room had been torn apart. Furniture was overturned. Pictures hung crooked on the walls and the blinds had been ripped from the windows.

Bits and pieces of the evening hung foggy in the back of her mind, but she rose and started returning the room to its original state. It was when she pulled a leaning floor lamp back to its upright position that she saw the hole in the wall. "Well, that explains my hand," she muttered to herself as she continued to put the room back together. After a few minutes, other than the hole, Elizabeth was able to put everything back to where no one would suspect what had happened. She however, knew exactly what had been done. God had been boxed up and put in the back of her mind and she planned on keeping it that way.

Henry took Elizabeth's hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. He watched Elizabeth intently as she went back in time, her eyes clouding, tears forming and then they were blinked back as fast as they came. "Babe?" A small, sad smile formed at the corner of her mouth when she looked at Henry.

"Okay. I'm listening."


	2. Chapter 2

Henry scooted a little closer to Elizabeth and turned so he could face her. "We've been dating for several months now and…" Henry paused. Elizabeth looked expectantly at him and when he didn't continue, she furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak. Henry held up his hand to stop her. "...and... I'm falling for you." Elizabeth couldn't pretend to hide her shock at his profession of love and her expression unnerved Henry.

Before he could lose all confidence in what he was about to say, his words came rushing out.. "I know you and I have very different views on religion and faith. In some ways this conversation is very premature since we haven't been together long, but you need to know, this is it for me. I don't want anyone else. You are my one, and I pray you feel the same. You are my first thought in the morning and the last before I sleep. My dreams are of us building a life together. That being said, I am a practicing Catholic, and I take my beliefs very seriously. If we are going to build that life together, there are things I would insist upon. I want to be up front and open so you know what that entails before we get any more involved. I respect you and never want to put you in a position where you don't feel comfortable with how I need to live out my faith." Henry finally took a deep breath. "So, if my faith is something that will be too much for you long term, I want to give you an out."

Elizabeth slumped back into the couch. Her thoughts were flying all different directions. _Henry just told me he loved me-that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me-that there are conditions._ Her eyes narrowed when that crossed her mind, an almost imperceptible change that didn't go unnoticed by Henry. Elizabeth saw immediately that he had seen, and while he tried to keep his facial expression blank, his eyes told another story.

"Whoa! Uh, wow, u-um, that was unexpected," Elizabeth stammered, grasping for something, anything, meaningful to say to Henry who began to look like he was unravelling at the seams. "Ok. Ok. I'm going to need some time to process this." Henry, still holding on to her hand, waited. _Shit! Shit! Shit! This is NOT how the night is supposed to go. Right now, I am supposed to be climbing on his lap, sliding my tongue into his mouth, feeling him press-oh for God sakes Lizzie, pull yourself together and say something that might actually help the situation._ Scooting to the edge of the couch, she sat up straight, pulling her hand from Henry's. She ran both hands up and down the tops of her thighs and then through her hair.

"Henry," she blew out the breath she wasn't even aware she had been holding in. "You know that I've only really dated a couple guys and we have outlasted both of those relationships. This isn't something I've ever had to consider. Honestly, I've never thought about it. Before I met, you, I didn't really know many people who placed God in the forefront of their lives, much less be planning a lifelong relationship with them." _Did I just say that I am planning a lifelong relationship with Henry? Am I? What the hell? I need to get out of this now before I say something really stupid._ "What I am trying to say is-thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will think about it and let you know." Elizabeth leaned over and pecked a bewildered Henry on the lips and stood, gathering her coat and purse.

"Wait. Elizabeth, don't go." Henry had hoped to get some sort of resolution. This whole conversation had taken a turn and he didn't like the new direction it was going. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown this at you out of nowhere. I ruined our evening."

Elizabeth smirked, "Well, I would agree that I had different plans for our evening, but it's ok. At some point our relationship has to evolve from fettuccine and making out on the couch. Really, Henry, I'm not mad or anything like that. But, I do have some thinking to do and I really do need to study for that International Law midterm, so I'll see you later. I'll call you later this week.." With that she was gone, leaving Henry to prepare himself for what was to come.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Thanks for the positive reviews. I appreciate them.

I had a little trouble figuring out how to show both Henry and Elizabeth's perspective, so I ended up with a back and forth. Hopefully it isn't too confusing.

Chapter 3

"Dammit!" Henry cursed, smacking his hand on the back of the armchair, as Elizabeth shut the door. _That was NOT at all how it was supposed to go._ He sat down in the chair putting his elbow on his knees and burying his face in his hands and tried to talk himself down, "Ok, now is not the time to freak out. You need to figure out how to put Pandora back in the box. Obviously, you completely took Elizabeth off guard and likely scared the crap out of her with all of your 'marry me/deal with my church' talk." Looking up, Henry laughed under his breath and gave a self-deprecating smile, "And now, I'm talking to myself. Making myself more desirable all of the time." Standing, he looked around the room and pondered his next move. He decided against following her, thinking that she needed some time. Instead, he called it a night, even though it was only 9 o'clock. After locking the door, he made his way around the living room and kitchen turning off the lights. He caught sight of their dishes in the sink, and said a silent prayer that it wouldn't be the last time Elizabeth would share a meal with him.

Elizabeth speed walked the three blocks to her dorm room. She rushed into the room and threw herself against the door slamming it shut, scaring her roommate, Cara, half to death. "Oh my god Elizabeth, you scared the shit out of me! Are you ok?"

Trying to catch her breath, Elizabeth huffed, "I'm fine. I was just walking fast. You know, getting my cardio in." Cara raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She and Elizabeth weren't really that close, so she didn't pry. Elizabeth was certainly not volunteering. She had replayed what Henry said as she walked back to the dorm deciding, that she truly didn't have the energy to really tackle her thoughts on Henry, his love, or his religion. She pushed it to the back of her mind and grabbed a water bottle from the mini-fridge before plopping down on her bed. Leaning over she grabbed her backpack and pulled her International Law book and notes and buried herself in something that now seemed so much less confusing than her life.

Over the next few days, Henry did his best to go about his normal routine: classes, work study job at the library, study for his classes and training for ROTC. His heart was elsewhere though. He couldn't think of a way to fix what we thought he had broken.

Elizabeth was doing the same thing. Her tried and true method of compartmentalizing that which she did not want to deal with wasn't working. She did call Henry as promised and told him how she had done well on that International Law test. After she spent so many hours studying, the test ended up being mostly multiple choice and she probably could've aced it even if she hadn't studied much. The conversation was a little forced and Elizabeth hung up after they planned to see each other over the weekend. Putting the phone in the cradle, she sighed. She missed had missed Henry so much this week and even their conversation just now had done nothing to help her longing. Grabbing her jacket, Elizabeth decided to take a walk in the park near campus to clear her mind.

Henry was feeling equally lost and unsure after hanging up the phone on his end. He paced his apartment picking up odds and ends. Finally, having had enough, he walked out the door-his destination, St. Thomas Aquinas's Adoration Chapel.

Elizabeth walked aimlessly through the park trying to sort her feelings out. She desperately missed Henry, even though she had just spoken to him. She tried to pinpoint what exactly the problem was. There had been other times that they hadn't seen or talked to each other and while she missed him, it didn't feel the same. Now, there was a constant ache in her chest and no matter how hard she tried to push the thoughts away, they kept coming back: Henry's smile, the feel of his hand on the small of her back, his thrum of his heartbeat when she laid her head on his chest, his scent, the slight pitch in his voice when he was trying to articulate his point, how safe he made her feel, how she had told him about her parents on their second date when she had told no one else..

The wind kicked up a bit and Elizabeth pulled her jacket tightly around her. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. Reaching up to wipe it away, her eyes and her heart were opened. The reason that this time was different was that Henry had given her the option to leave, to end their relationship. The thought of never feeling the way she did when she was with Henry, literally took her breath away. There was no way she could willingly give up what she had with Henry She needed to hear everything he had to say. She needed to tell him that she loved him.

She stopped abruptly and turned around heading toward Henry's apartment.

Henry stepped into the Adoration Chapel at St. Thomas Aquinas Church on the edge of campus. Making the Sign of the Cross, he genuflected and entered the pew. Kneeling down, he rested he elbows on the back of the pew in front of him and clasped his hands together. He raised his eyes to the monstrance placed on the altar that held the Blessed Sacrament. _Lord, I believe in my heart that you brought Elizabeth and I together with the purpose of making us one. Help me say the right things and do the right things, to let her know that she is loved and cherished and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her._ He paused and gave a little smirk. _You know God, if she would agree and reciprocate, that would be great. Also, if You could see fit to do that sooner than later, I would really appreciate it,because not knowing is killing me!_ Henry grinned. He was convinced that the Lord had a sense of humor, why else would he have ended up with his sister, Maureen.

After staying a bit longer, he stood and after blessing himself with Holy Water, headed out of the church. It was windier than when he went in and he zipped up jacket while making his way down the steps. With his attention diverted, he almost didn't see the person sitting on the bottom step, narrowly missing a collision. Doing a little jump side-step, he landed on the sidewalk. Turning around he said, "I'm so sorry. I almost ran into you because I wasn't watching what I was doing." Then she raised her head, surprise in her eyes. "Elizabeth? What in the world are you doing here? Are you ok?" Henry was beyond confused at finding her on the church steps, but he offered his hand and when she took it, he pulled her to him. He could see in the glow from the streetlights that her eyes glistened with tears and his confusion was replaced with concern. "What's going on? Elizabeth?" he asked, wiping her tears away with his thumb.

"Nothing is wrong Henry," she said, giving him a shy smile. "I went for a walk to think about us. I was headed to see you, but somehow ended up here. I thought about going in, but it felt weird and somehow wrong. I've never been in a Catholic church before. That, and I'm pretty sure your God and I aren't on good terms."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Henry said, pulling her into his embrace and kissing the top of her head. "I can take you in if you like."

"That's ok. I am just happy to be close to you." Elizabeth paused and Henry studied her expression, waiting for what was coming next. "This week has been horrible Henry. The ache inside of me wouldn't go away. I tried to push it down deep inside. Or, cover it with other thoughts and things to do, but it didn't help. It was just like going back in time-when my parents had just died." Henry tightened his hug a bit and started to speak, but she put her finger over his lips to silence him. "I haven't allowed myself to love anyone since then. The prospect of losing people you love was just too hard. You scared me the other night when you told me that you had fallen for me, because I didn't know how I was going to tell you that I didn't feel the same way." Elizabeth saw Henry's eyes go dark and she knew what he was thinking. He let go of her. She pressed on, "What I found out this week is that I do feel the same way. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you Henry McCord and I don't want to live another day without you knowing it."

She watched his eyes as he shifted from preparing to lose her to realizing what she had just said. The joy passed over his features in a wave and suddenly he had pulled her back close and his lips ghosted over hers, whispering "I love you Elizabeth Adams."

Elizabeth ran her hand up Henry's chest to the nape of his neck and held him close, "and I love you Henry McCord. We'll work the rest of the details out later." His lips pressed into hers and sucking on her bottom lip, he ran his tongue along the seam. She parted her lips allowing his tongue to spar with hers until they broke apart, both needing air. "Let's go to your place," she said and shivered, "It's getting chilly out here."

Henry pulled her in close to his side as they walked the couple of blocks to his apartment. Henry raised his eyes to the cloudless, star filled, night sky. _Thank you God._


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far. I love the positive feedback, but constructive criticism is also helpful. I feel like this chapter is a too wordy. I'm having trouble striking a balance between playful banter and actual substance without using a couple thousand words! ;)

Chapter 4

Pushing his apartment door open, so Elizabeth could pass though, Henry decided to let her lead any conversations. He figured he'd already messed things up enough. He took their coats and hung them on the coat tree near the door, then he took Elizabeth by the hand. "Do you want something to drink, hot cocoa maybe?"

"Yes! That sounds wonderful. It is much colder now than when I left for my walk. I didn't expect to be out long."

Henry set to work getting a pot of water on to boil and pulled two Swiss Miss packets from the cabinet. "Marshmallows or French Vanilla?" he asked, laying each one over his arm for her to view as if it was a fine wine.

Laughing, Elizabeth pondered her options, " I think I'll go with the marshmallows this evening. Thank you fine sir.' Henry grinned at her and turned to mix the drinks. A few seconds later, he handed her two mugs and opened the freezer door and grabbed a carton of Rocky Road ice cream. "Ice cream! I love ice cream!" Elizabeth screeched.

"I am aware," he said, reaching into the drawer to get a couple spoons. With his hands full, he bumped the drawer with his hip causing it to slide shut.

"Look at you Mr. Skills!" She met him at the end of the bar. Holding the mugs of cocoa out away from her body, she went up on her tip-toes to catch Henry's lips in a flirty kiss. "Let's sit down before we spill something."

Nodding, Henry sat down on the couch first and placed the ice cream carton on the coffee table. He then took his mug of cocoa. Elizabeth sat down in the middle, turned so she could face him, her right leg tucked under her left. They drank in silence. When Henry finished, he asked, " Are you warming up?"

"I'm much better than I was, but now if we eat ice cream, I might get cold again."

"Does that mean you don't want the ice cream?" Henry cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Of course not. It just means I may need you to warm me up."

"I aim to please," Henry smirked, and reached out to get the ice cream. He gave the first spoonful to Elizabeth.

"Mmmmm, that is so good! More please," Henry obliged by feeding her another spoonful. His aim was a little off and she ended up with ice cream at the corner of her mouth. Henry leaned over and sucked it off.

"You taste good," he muttered against Elizabeth's lips.

"Yes, I do." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and leaned in for a deeper kiss, and another The ice cream carton was deposited back on the table, freeing Henry's hands which wrapped around her back. "Your hands are cold," she squirmed but then quickly forgot as Henry planted kisses along her jawline then sucking the sensitive flesh behind her ear. "Mmmm," she purred a low, gravelly sound that suddenly made Henry's pants very uncomfortable.

Henry pulled back, leaving Elizabeth to wonder what had just happened. "Uhh, I need to put this ice cream away." He untangled himself from her and grabbed the ice cream heading into the in front of the refrigerator with the freezer door open, he hoped the cold would quite literally cool him off.

Elizabeth, sensing something was off, came to stand at the bar a minute later. Feeling her presence, Henry closed the door. "What's going on?" she asked.

Henry's cheeks flushed. _This is about to be awkward._ "I, uh, was having a small issue and just needed a minute.

"What kind of issue? Did I do something?." Elizabeth seemed genuinely concerned and was definitely not getting it.

"Nah. I'm fine. You just made a little sound a minute ago and it caused a surprising reaction. All is fine and dandy!" Henry said just a little too enthusiastically. Confusion was written all over Elizabeth's face. _Oh no, please don't make me spell this out to you!_

"I made a sound… surprising reaction? What?" She was definitely not getting it.

 _I might as well concede this one. It's not the first time I've been ridiculously embarrassed and I'm sure it won't be the last._ "Well yeah. When I was kissing you, you made this sound kind of like a cross between a growl and a moan." Henry paused. Elizabeth is still perplexed. _Might as well throw all of my dignity away._ "And, it was really hot… arousingly so." Henry raised his eyebrows at her, hoping she would catch on. Suddenly her eyes went wide. "I got up because I needed a distraction to keep me from , um, going too far."

Elizabeth grinned wickedly. "I did that to you? With this sound, that by the way, I didn't even know I made. Interesting." Henry could tell that she was amused to have that effect on him. "How far is too far?" she flirted.

Between the cold air and his general embarrassment over the entire topic of conversation, Henry's pants were fitting much better now. He moved toward her, put his hands on her waist and lifted her up on the bar. She now sat where he could look at her eye to eye. "Make no mistake about it. If you were willing, I would love nothing more than to lay you down in my bed and make love to you all night long. I won't lie. The temptation is great, oh so great. I love you so much, but I don't want to turn our relationship into one that the foundation is built on sex. I'm hoping to wait."

"Until when," Elizabeth queried.

"Until we're married." he stated factually, hoping that it sounded more appealing to her than it did to him in that moment.

"You know we don't live in Biblical times, right?" Elizabeth said, half playful and half serious.

"Actually Biblical times aren't really the best example," Henry countered, throwing his religious knowledge around. "Abraham, Boaz, David. There was fornincaiton everywhere!"

Elizabeth giggled and then looked at him thoughtfully, "Is this a Catholic thing?"

"Yes, but it's not just that." _God, if you could help me convey this in a way that isn't going to make me look incredibly dumb, I would appreciate it._ Henry took Elizabeth's hands in his, "When I get married, I want to be able to give all of myself to the woman I marry. If I go around and have sex without that commitment, then my future wife gets short-changed. I would give some of myself away every time. There is also the potential of getting someone pregnant or getting an STD. I'm not interested in either right now. Really, I'm not even touching the whole Catholic/mortal sin/going to hell thing. That's a guilt trip and a half!" He grinned at her.

Elizabeth sat quietly, pondering his words, "So you're a virgin?" He nodded. "Really?" Her disbelief was evident.

"Look, it's not like I haven't had the opportunity. Geez!" he smirked and rolled his eyes. Elizabeth blushed at the admonishment, teasing though it was. "There hasn't been anyone that I thought I would want to be with forever. Until you. Which is why we are talking about it."

Elizabeth suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Henry," She paused, dropped her eyes and her words came out almost a whisper, "What if I'm not?"

"Not what?"

"A virgin," Elizabeth kept her eyes down, refusing to look at Henry, although he still had her hands. "I'm not whole. I doubt you would even want me now." Her voice cracked and Henry knew she was on the verge of tears. She pulled her hands back and slid off the bar. "I think it's time I go."

"No. Wait a second," Henry slid between Elizabeth and the door. "We just did this a few days ago and it was miserable. I'm not going to prevent you from leaving, but if you walk out every time there is something hard to talk about, we won't make it. We have to be able to talk through problems, even when it's hard. Hell, maybe especially when it's hard. " Henry stepped back allowing her to leave if she wanted. Elizabeth took another step forward and put her hand on the door knob. Henry looked at her pleadingly.

Elizabeth stood with her hand on the door knob and staring at the door for what seemed like an eternity, _It was too good to be true. Now that he knows, he won't want you. You put your guard down and what happens. You fall for him and now your heart is broken-again._ Henry could see her struggling and was unsure if he was doing the right thing. It was killing him to let her stand there, but he wanted to make sure she stayed because she made the choice to, not because he persuaded her to.

It took only a fraction of a second for Henry take Elizabeth in his arms when she released the door knob. "Never, ever doubt my love for you. My desire." He kissed her hard, taking her breath away. "I have made my decisions based on what is right for me. I am very aware that my waiting is not something most people even consider. I would never consider you less or undesirable because of the choices you have made." He paused, 'Well, unless you were a serial killer, that might change things. You aren't, are you?"

She looked up at him and rolled her tear-filled eyes, "I will need to confer with my other personalities, but I don't think so." Henry laughed and she cracked a smile.

"Seriously though, it doesn't matter to me. I take you and love you just as you are." Henry captured her lips again, this time in a much slower manner showing her just how much he treasured her. When they broke apart, he asked the question that had been haunting him, "Do you think you can do this with me? Are you willing to wait?"

"I do love a man who is principled. I'm in, but I may need to point out on occasion how much it sucks."

"Short term pain for long term gain," Henry cheekily replied.

"Oh stop. That's lame!" Glancing up at the clock on the wall, she said, "Hey, it's almost 11. Do you think you could walk your girl back to her dorm? I have an early class tomorrow."

"It would be my pleasure." Henry helped Elizabeth put her jacket on before sliding into his own. He opened the door to let her step out before flipping off the lights and locking the door behind them.

As they walked hand in hard, Elizabeth asked, "How much more is there to this Catholicism thing?"

"A fair bit. You know it's been around over 1900 years." She pushed into Henry knocking him sideways.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, but I think we've done enough heavy discussion for tonight. Let's wait until the weekend, shall we?" Looking up, he squeezed her hand tighter. "The stars are beautiful." Elizabeth looked up and smiled. In that moment, Henry looked at her and his heart pained him, he was so full of love for her.

Elizabeth glanced up and caught Henry looking at her. She couldn't even identify what his look was saying, but it caused her stomach to flip, her breath to quicken and she felt the heat rising up her face. This may be harder than she anticipated.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The rest of the week flew by. Elizabeth hadn't seen Henry since their conversation on Tuesday, but they had talked on the phone every night. She was anxiously waiting for him to pick her up for their date. Dressed in a tunic length cable knit sweater and acid washed jeans, she touched up her make-up and then paced the floor. "Good grief," Cara muttered, "it's not like you just started dating. What's the big deal?"

"Oh, I just haven't seen Henry in several days and I miss him." Cara made a gagging face that made Elizabeth laugh.

"Ok, I get it. I'll stop." Elizabeth had just settled herself down with a magazine when there was a knock at the door. Scrambling to her feet, she grabbed her coat and as she opened the door, she called over her shoulder, "Good night!"

Henry was quick to pull her into a hug and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips, "Hey babe. Are you all ready?"

"Absolutely. I've been waiting for this all week!" Elizabeth leaned into Henry's shoulder as they walked down the hall.

"What do you think about burgers and bowling tonight?" Henry asked as he opened the car door for Elizabeth.

"Sounds fun," she agreed. It was just a short drive to the bowling alley from her dorm. They didn't talk much, just held hands and decompressed from the week's stresses.

They had a great time. It was very carefree. There was a lot of playful banter about who the better bowler was. Henry would be the first to admit, he wasn't very good, but with Elizabeth being so competitive, he got caught up in the fun of it all. He loved to hear Elizabeth laugh. It was so joyful and full of life. Elizabeth couldn't get enough of Henry's playful side. He was usually very quiet and reserved. It was appealing to see him be silly with her.

"I'll have the bacon double cheeseburger and a side of curly fries." Elizabeth told the waitress as she shut menu and handed it over to her.

Henry chuckled, "I'll have the same." When the waitress walked away, he looked over and grinned at her. _Where does she possibly put all of that food?_ Before she could say anything, Henry leaned in pecked her on the lips.

"Ok, Mr. McCord, what's the topic of conversation this evening." Elizabeth asked when there was a break in the small talk.

"Well, that depends on where you want to start. We've got the whole weekend. I can give you a pretty thorough account of the history of Catholicism if you would like."

Elizabeth groaned inwardly, "Is that necessary to understanding what you being Catholic means for me?" She tried to ask in a way that didn't sound like she was dreading it, but of course Henry read right through her.

"I was mostly joking. I doubt you care about all of the Popes, Saints, encyclicals and Tradition. That's with a capital T. If you ever change your mind though, I know a guy who could bore you with hours of knowledge."

Elizabeth laughed, "I'm sure you do. Let's stick to stuff that affects me, ok"

Just then, the waitress approached their table with two plates of food. "Anything else I can get you right now?"

"Ketchup, please" they said simultaneously and then laughed at each other. Once they got everything settled and started eating, Henry continued, "Right now, it's small stuff. I go to Mass every weekend, and on Holy days a few times a year. I usually go on Sunday morning, but St. Thomas Aquinas just started offering a 5 pm Mass on Sunday evenings. I thought I might start going then. You are always welcome to go with me but if you don't want to, that's fine. I might ask from time to time if you want to come, but it's mostly just to make sure you know the invitation is open. Really no pressure."

"That seems easy enough. I have no problem with that as long as it doesn't become a big guilt trip later on."

"No guilt trips. I promise."

"What else?" _This has been reasonably painless so far. Waiting for the other shoe to drop._

"The other part has to do with marriage and children. Now before you go all crazy thinking about me talking about marriage, it's way out there. Really, I'm not ready, and I don't think you are either." Elizabeth nodded. Henry took a deep breath, "I need to bring it up now though because if what I need is absolutely undoable for you, then we either need to figure out a way to make it work or just stop now."

 _And there it is._ Elizabeth tried to mask her uneasiness by flashing Henry a big smile saying, "Ok, let's hear it" Then at the same time, she plucked a fry off of Henry's plate,". Oh, by the way, are you going to finish your fries?"

Of course, Henry saw right through her facade, but didn't say anything, pushing his plate toward her. "I want a Catholic wedding ceremony. It doesn't have to be part of Mass, but it has to be validated by the Church." Henry could tell that Elizabeth was trying to figure out all of the implications of this statement. "Your part in it would be to go to a series of pre-marriage classes with me and talk with a priest about various issues that come up in marriage and how we would try to handle them. The ceremony would be in a church, officiated by a priest. A valid marriage can only be unvalidated through an annulment process. It would be difficult for our marriage to receive an annulment since I went into the relationship knowing where you stand on all of the important issues. I'm pretty much saying that if we were to ever divorce legally, I could not remarry and remain a Catholic in good standing. I would be married to you for life, whether we were together or not. Until death do us part is literal."

"That seems harsh," Elizabeth was still eating Henry's fries.

"I wouldn't say harsh, as much as a commitment not to be taken lightly." Henry tilted his head to the side as he thought about it. "It seems like today a lot of people get married because they are thinking about what their spouse can do for them. At some point, the person will figure out that their spouse can't give them whatever it is they seek. Then it seems reasonable to end the marriage. I think marriage should be approached with the idea that I need to be building up my spouse, and always trying to think of ways to give of myself to her and the relationship. Give vs. take. If more people took that seriously, there would be far fewer divorces. Just my thoughts on it all."

Elizabeth looked thoughtful."I can see the thinking behind this. I don't have much real world experience though. My parents were married, but my father traveled a lot and so I never saw my parents together that often. I don't know if they had that kind of marriage or not," she trailed off. Thinking of her parents, Elizabeth turned her head and tried to get her emotions under control. Tears pooled just below the surface, but she fought to retain control.

Henry scooted closer and pulled her into his chest. "It's alright to let go babe. I've got you." She didn't speak, but he felt years worth of unshed tears fall, mourning all that she didn't know about about her parents and would never be able to ask.

When she finally calmed a bit, she looked up at Henry with red, puffy eyes, "I'm-

"Don't say it," he soothed, "I want to be here for you. I want you to be able to feel everything with me-good and bad. Do you feel better?"

"Actually, I do, Other than my stuffy nose and headache, I feel lighter than I have in a long time."

"I'm glad. Do you want to call it a night and head home?"

"Not really," Elizabeth stopped and studied Henry. "Thank you for being here." She put her head against his shoulder. "Would you mind if we went for a drive?"

"Of course not. Let's go."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This chapter wasn't in the initial plan, but it just kind of happened. Hopefully it makes sense. Chapter 7 is done as well, but I will wait to publish it until I see how Chapter 8 shapes up. 7 might get deleted all together. Hope you like it. As always reviews are appreciated.

Elizabeth directed Henry to the highway. The way she settled back in the seat, Henry could tell they would be driving this direction for a while. "So you haven't said much about the wedding stuff."

"Oh, well, it hasn't been as scary as I thought it would be. At least so far. Although, I find it really hard to believe that a priest is going to be able to tell us how to live a better married life. It's not like he would have lots of experience to draw upon." She thought about it some more. "I've never been to Mass before, so I cannot say for certain, but I would lean toward just doing the ceremony."

"I understand the priest thing. I wondered about that for quite a while too until I really got to know a couple of priests. They spend a lot of time observing and see the problems many couples have. They also do quite a bit of counseling, so they have the opportunity to work through problems with people. So their experience isn't first hand, but I usually find that they find helpful things to say."

"Hmmm," she said and that was all. She slid her hand over and put it on Henry's thigh. He laced his fingers in hers. There was a comfortable silence. "Turn left at the next crossroads," Elizabeth directed. Henry slowed and made the turn. The road turned to gravel about a mile down the road. It was 5 miles or so later that Elizabeth said, "Pull over by that big tree." Henry complied. He didn't have the chance to put the car in park before Elizabeth had the door open and was walking up the hill. Having a good idea where they were, Henry popped the trunk, grabbed a blanket, and followed her.

He was able to catch up to her just as she crested the hill. "This is it," she said with a sweeping gesture, "the childhood home of Elizabeth Adams." The colonial home looked like a mansion to Henry with a side porch on one end and 5 huge columns across the front. About 100 yards behind the house stood a massive barn.

"It's gorgeous!" Henry marveled. "The barn is for-"

"Horses," she answered the question before he could finish asking it.

Spreading the blanket out, Henry motioned her over. "Come sit and tell me everything." She sat down and he pulled her close tucking the blanket in around them.

"I had a wonderful childhood, although I didn't even realize it then." She went on to tell him stories of birthday parties and family Christmases, fights with her brother Will, reading with her mother on the porch, and the horses. There were so many stories about her horses. Henry could feel the radiance flow from Elizabeth as she talked about them.

"After the accident took my parents, my aunt and uncle came. Will and I were allowed to pack a few boxes of things and they sold the rest. We moved in with them for a few months until the term at the boarding school started. Then we moved there."

"And your horses?" Henry asked, already fearing the answer.

"Sold. I was told there was no room for them on their property and my uncle wouldn't pay to board them. It ended up being for the best I suppose. Since I was away most of the year, I wouldn't have been there to help care for them and ride them." She wiped a stray tear away.

"I'm so sorry babe. I wish there was something I could do to take away that pain." Henry wiped his own tears away thinking of the immense pain that Elizabeth had suffered. It was in those moments huddled together under a blanket that Henry started to grasp the depth of Elizabeth's strength. _God, help me to be deserving of her. Help me to always recognize the vulnerability that lies beneath her strength. Help me repair the wounds on her heart. Guide me and be with me, with us._

"I tried you know," she mumbled. Henry pulled back and studied her, unsure of her meaning. "I prayed," said softly, "every day all day long for almost a year. Just like I'd been taught in Sunday School." Elizabeth continued, her voice getting louder, conveying her anger. "I prayed out loud, in my head, in my dreams. I prayed that it would get better. I prayed that my aunt and uncle would love me, want me. I prayed that Will would be someone I could lean on. I prayed for a friend. Anything, that would make my life seem not quite so hopeless." Elizabeth leaned into Henry and sobbed. Suddenly, she pulled back and laughed, catching Henry by surprise, "You know what the answer to my prayers was? Everybody left." Henry looked at her, wanting a clearer explanation. "On Christmas break. Will went skiing with somebody. My aunt and uncle went on a cruise. Everyone at school had somewhere to go. Everyone but me.. I was utterly alone. Even God had abandoned me."

The anger was gone and was replaced by defeat. Henry was taken aback. He had only known the Elizabeth that was a force to be reckoned with, larger than life, friend to all. He couldn't even wrap his mind around the 14 year old girl abandoned by everyone and left to deal with a shattered heart by herself. Henry pulled Elizabeth into his lap and cradled her whispering, "I'm here now," into her hair. After a few minutes, he said, "Thank you for bringing me here. I'm honored that you would share your childhood with me." He paused, considering the promise he was about to make. "Elizabeth. I will always be here. You will never be alone again."

Elizabeth tipped her head back to meet his eyes. Henry dipped his head and kissed her with such love, sincerity and compassion that her head was swimming. "I believe you."

After a few minutes, they stood, gathered the blanket, and walked hand in hand back down the hill to the car. The drive back to campus was quiet and Elizabeth fell asleep. They were parked in front of Henry's apartment when Henry touched her shoulder, waking her. "You aren't taking me back to the dorm?"

"I wanted to be close to you tonight if that's ok?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked.

"Maybe not, but it's been kind of a rough night and I just want to be nearby in case you need anything."

"Rough night is an understatement. I'm most certainly an award winning date."

"Yes you are. I wouldn't want to spend my time with anyone else." Henry leaned in and pecked her on the cheek. "Let's go up. You can have my bed and I'll take the couch. If you need anything, you can just call for me."

In the apartment, they were both ready for bed. Henry fished an extra blanket out of his closet and Elizabeth started toward the bedroom. "Hey Babe?"

Elizabeth turned and looked at Henry, "Yes?"

"God didn't abandon you. He sent me. I'm just sorry it took me so long to get to you."

"Goodnight Henry."

"Goodnight Elizabeth."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks for the positive reviews. I wasn't sure what kind of response I would get with this type of story. I'm glad people like the idea of it. A couple responses to reviews: Why don't they just share the same bed? I thought about it and decided against it because I figured Henry wouldn't want to push her into doing something she may not want to do, especially since she was emotionally vulnerable. They'll get past it soon.

Also, why didn't Elizabeth push back against Henry's assertion about God bringing them together? I just figured she was emotionally drained and didn't want to argue at the point, so she left it alone.

Will they get married soon? Depends how much sex angst I feel like writing. LOL!

This has kind of taken on a mind of its own as I originally started by thinking on a prompt about Stevie's First Communion dress. It looks like I might hit that around Chapter 25!

Chapter 7

Henry woke early the next morning, and padded across the living room floor and carefully opened the bedroom door hoping to sneak past Elizabeth so he could use the bathroom. He was not prepared for the sight before him. She was splayed out on his bed, disheveled blond curls across the pillow, full lips curved into a tiny smile, his t-shirt riding up showing her taut stomach, pink lacy panties riding low on her hips, and legs that went for miles. Henry drew in a shaky breath and took the three backward steps out of the room and quietly closed the door, sliding down it to the floor.

"Holy shit. Visuals I did not need." he muttered to himself, attempting to regain some sort of composure. _Oh God, you put this on my heart. Please give me the strength to carry it through._ Henry rubbed his temples and stood up. His eyes lit up. "Pancakes! We need pancakes!" Thankful for the useful distraction, he set out to whip up a batch of chocolate chip pancakes, bacon and coffee.

Half an hour later, Elizabeth emerged from the bedroom, still wearing Henry's t-shirt, but back in her jeans. Her eyes ogled at the breakfast display before her. Wrapping her arms around Henry's waist she pulled him close. "Thank you for last night." Her hand slid up his chest to the nape of his neck, pulling his lips down to hers. Kissing him gently, she turned to the bar. "And you made me breakfast! This is why I love you!"

Henry sat watching Elizabeth as she ate. She was marveling over each bite of pancake as if it was better than the last. "Mmm, Henry. How do you make pancakes taste soooo good? These are fabulous and I do consider myself a pancake connoisseur!"

He laughed. "It's just Bisquik babe. I promise. No secret ingredients." _I love that she finds such joy in little things. I wonder if that's because for so long joy was hard to come by._ "Hey, we haven't made any specific plans yet. Do you have things you need to get done or would you like to hang out with me?

Taking the last bite of pancake, Elizabeth said, "I definitely need to go back to my room and take a shower and I have some reading to do for my lit class, but I can do it whenever. I have a pretty easy weekend having just taken mid-terms. What do you want to do?"

"It looks like the weather will be unseasonably warm today. I thought we might take advantage of it and go hiking at the state park. There's a pretty overlook. Bring your reading. We can have a picnic lunch and hang out for a while. I have some reading to do as well."

"Sounds great." Then standing and gathering up their plates and cups, she headed into the kitchen "How about you take a shower while I clean up these dishes? Then you can pick up some lunch while I get ready. Should only take an hour or so and we can be on our way."

"Perfect! I'll just be a minute," Henry said over his shoulder as he headed into the bathroom.

Elizabeth washed and dried the few dishes and folded the blanket Henry had used the night before. Trying to pass time, she was straightening a few things and remembered that she had left her earrings and bracelet on the dresser. Knocking on the bedroom door, she heard no answer. Assuming Henry was still in the shower she stepped in to grab her things. Bathroom door open, Henry was standing in front sink shaving. His bath towel was wrapped low around his hips. Leaning forward and concentrating, he didn't see Elizabeth, but she most certainly saw his well defined chest and back still wet from his shower. Reaching out she picked up her things, turned and shot out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. "Fuck!" she muttered under her breath feeling the blush rise up her face both because of Henry and her use of a word that didn't often come out of her mouth. Simultaneously, a wave of warmth washed over her pooling in her center. Elizabeth could feel the dampness between her legs. "Hmmm," she hummed. She plopped herself on the barstool, buried her head in her hands and focused on breathing.

Henry stepped out of the bedroom and was immediately concerned when he saw Elizabeth hunched over. "Babe? Are you ok?"

 _Oh shit!_ "Oh, uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little overheated is all." Henry didn't look convinced but said nothing else.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, tying his shoes. "All I have to do is grab my jacket." Elizabeth nodded and headed out the door.

Henry dropped Elizabeth off at her dorm and headed off to a local deli to pick up some sandwiches and chips. Elizabeth went upstairs, grabbed a change of clothes and went down the hall to take a shower. As she stepped in, her mind was racing. _What the hell just happened back there? That wasn't me. That's not how I react to guys. He wasn't even trying to do anything. So much so that he didn't even know I was there. Crap, I'm all wet even thinking about it. Pull your shit together Lizzie!_

Showering quickly she changed and combed out her hair. It went up into a quick ponytail and she stepped out into the hall finding Henry waiting outside her door. "Food's in the car. Are you almost ready?"

"Just give me a second," she forced out, still unnerved with herself about the earlier situation. She took 2 water bottles from the mini fridge and put them in her backpack along with the latest assignment for lit class. She pulled socks from a drawer and picked up her shoes. "All ready," she said a little breathless.

:"You're sure you're ok?" Henry questioned. "You still look flushed. And you aren't putting on your shoes?"

"Eh, I'll do that in the car. Let's go!" Elizabeth called behind her as she walked off down the hall. Henry just shrugged and followed.

Elizabeth was acting very strangely, but Henry was trying to focus and driving and convince himself that he hadn't done anything to make her mad at him. They had barely made it out of the city limits when she grabbed his arm, yelling, "I can't do this! Let me out of the car."

"What are you talking about?"

"I need out NOW Henry!"

"Ok, ok. Let me pull over." Pulling into a commuter parking lot, Henry didn't even get the car in park before she bailed out. She darted away, and made it 10 yards or so before realizing she was walking in a gravel parking lot and her shoes were still laying in the floorboard of the car.

"Ow, shit, ouch" she tried to hop step back, The whole spectacle would have been hilarious to Henry if he wasn't generally concerned that she had completely lost it. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he ran around the front of the car and when he reached Elizabeth, he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her back to the car where he plopped her on the trunk lid.

"Now sit," he ordered and even pointed a finger at her for good measure. _Seems like something mom did when we got out of control._ Henry reached into the car and pulled out her shoes. Squatting down in front of her, he put both socks and shoes on her feet. Standing calmly and making a grand sweeping gesture with his hand, he said, "Now go be a crazy person if you want," he paused, "or you can tell me what is going on."

Elizabeth sighed, "I don't even know how to put it into words. The whole thing is so ridiculous. There is no way I can say it without you thinking I'm crazy." Elizabeth ran her hands through her ponytail and looked at him seriously.

Henry grinned at her, "Babe, after the display I just witnessed, I'm already questioning your mental state. Nothing else you say will make it worse. Promise,"

She laughed, "There is that. Let's get back on the road. I'll try to tell you on the way."

Henry offered his hand, which she took and he helped her off the back of the car. Holding the door for her, she got in and he shut it. _I hope she hasn't decided I'm not worth it._


	8. Chapter 8

Back on the road, she turned in her seat so she could look at Henry. "Alright, so I told you that I wasn't a virgin. Well-"

"And I said that I didn't care about-"

"I know what you said, now please stop talking so you can listen to what I'm saying," Elizabeth stared at him expectantly.

"Ok, sorry. My lips are zipped," and Henry made a zipping motion across his lips.

"You are such a dork!" she laughed and then got very somber, her voice soft. "There have been two guys The first was when I was a junior in high school. He was popular guy at school and I was for all intents and purposes invisible. When he started paying attention to me, I felt like I might not be the outsider that I had been since arriving there. I wanted him to like me and I liked him well enough." She paused and looked down at her lap, "I was just so desperate to not be alone, that I pretty well let him do whatever he wanted to." Henry reached over to take her hand and squeezed it, but said nothing. "I didn't like it. It was painful and awkward and it didn't feel right, but I was all about the bigger picture. People talked to me. They knew my name. I wasn't just that one girl. I felt like it was the price I had to pay to be included. It lasted a couple of months. I ended it when I overheard him talking to some of his friends about how he didn't even like me, but I was an easy lay. For the most part, I went back to being nobody, except for the occasional jackass that had heard the stories and thought they'd try their luck with me."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "The other guy was last year. He lived in the freshman dorm across from mine. He was in a couple of my classes and he was a nice guy. I liked him. I thought he was nice looking and we had nice conversations. After a couple months, he wanted to do more than just mess around. It was definitely a better experience. He was kind and it didn't hurt, but I never got much enjoyment out of it. At the semester break, had to leave school to be closer to home for some reason and that was that. We didn't even really break up, he just left and I haven't heard from him again."

Henry turned on his blinker and slowed down to turn into the park. He pulled into a spot at the far end of the parking lot, cut the engine and turned to Elizabeth. "May I speak yet?"

Head still down, she mumbled,"I guess so."

Reaching up, Henry ran his finger along her cheekbone and around to the back of her neck. Pulling her to him so their foreheads touched, he whispered, "I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for all that you have been through. I can only change what happens from this point on and I am here to tell you that there is no one more special on this earth than you. You never have to worry about being alone and I will do my best to make sure you know you are loved and cherished every day for the rest of your life." His fingers laced through her ponytail. He gently pulled down on it so that her face came up to meet his. His lips captured her top lip and he sucked it. Instinctively, she opened her mouth to let their tongues meet. It was a slow kiss full of love and sorrow and hope. When he pulled back, she was teary-eyed but had a small smile. "Are you ready to hike?"

He got out of the car and went around to open her door. As she got out, he stopped, "Wait a minute." She looked at him questioningly. "That still doesn't explain the whole parking lot scene. What was that all about?"

A deep blush climbed her face to the tips of her ears. "What?" he wanted to know.

"Promise you won't be all weird?" Elizabeth eyed him.

"I don't know what you are going to say, but I promise that if whatever it is, I'll do my best to not be weird." Henry hoped that was the right answer because he was very unsure of where this was going to go.

"Given my previous experiences, I had come to the conclusion that sex wasn't my thing. For whatever reason, my body didn't react like others. So when you said that you wanted to wait to have sex, it wasn't a big deal to me. Sex was going to be for you anyway."

Henry frowned and started to comment on that, but stopped himself and posed a different question, "What changed?"

Blushing again, she spoke softly, "I discovered that it wasn't me. It was them and that you are different." Henry looked at her, expecting a less convoluted answer. She sighed, "Today when you were getting ready, I knocked on the door. When you didn't answer, I thought you were still in the shower. I stepped in to get my earrings and bracelet and I saw you shaving." It was Henry's turn to blush and he quickly tried to remember what he was, or wasn't, wearing when he had shaved that morning. "You just looked so-attractive and I just imagined you looking like that touching me and there were all kinds of unexpected, uh… sensations and I couldn't get my mind off of it. My whole body was sort of like a coil wound tighter and tighter. It seems that prolonged periods of time feeling like that makes me a little crazy." She smiled shyly.

"Ya think?" Henry couldn't even pretend to keep a straight face. Once he started laughing, he couldn't stop. Tears were rolling down his face and he could barely breathe.

"Dammit Henry. This certainly isn't funny!" she stated angrily and when he still couldn't get control of himself, she huffed off.

"Wait. I'm not laughing at you. You have to listen to why it's so funny." Henry pulled himself back to a standing position and took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. "Whoo! Give me a sec, babe." _Deep breaths._ " I think I'm ok now."

Elizabeth was still standing several paces away from Henry with her hands on her hips. "Go on. Tell me exactly why the hell you think it is so funny."

"Why do you think you got a big breakfast this morning?" Elizabeth shrugged. Henry closed the gap between them, leaned in a whispered, "I have a confession to make as well. I woke up early and attempted to use the bathroom, but when I stepped into the bedroom and saw you laying there sleeping, looking like you looked…" Henry trailed off. "Let's just say there were definitely many sensations involved and to get my mind off of those sensations, I made you breakfast." He grinned cheekily at her. Henry changed the direction of the conversation, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm fine. I suppose that talking about bad sex with ex-boyfriends is a turn off." she winked at him.

"Well, if it's not too much to ask, please stop thinking about that. There are other, more productive ways to deal with it. I should know. I've been practicing for quite a while."

"Oh really, how long have you been practicing Mr. McCord?" she teased,

"Since the first day I met you. Now, let's get our things and get to the hiking so we can eat. I'm starving." He reached into the car and got both of their backpacks, handing hers to her, he smirked and said, "Are you ready for your first lesson in delayed gratification?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elizabeth asked sarcastically.

Henry backed her up against the car and kissed her hard, devouring her. He ran one hand up her back, locking their bodies together. The other hand snaked down, cupped her ass and pulled her into him so she could feel his growing bulge. He kissed her until they had to break apart to breathe. He flashed her a big smile, "And how do you feel now?"

She was flushed and out of breath. The now all to familiar feeling of yearning was churning through her body, settling near her center. Elizabeth just eyed him lustily. "I think you know exactly how I feel."

"Perfect! So lesson one is that physical exertion of another kind will take your mind off of the physical exertion of the other." Henry leaned in and pecked her on the cheek, "Race you to the overlook!" He turned and took off jogging up the trail.

"Ass," she muttered to herself before slipping the other backpack strap over her shoulder and took off after him.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I love reading the reviews. Thanks. Some of you are mind readers. The things you have commented on have already been written in the next few chapters. Hopefully that will address your questions. Chapter 10 is almost done and Chapter 11 is well formed in my head. I just need time to type.

Chapter 9

"You have the drinks, right?" Henry said as Elizabeth finally reached the overlook. He had the blanket spread out with the bag of food sitting nearby.

"Good grief Henry. How fast did you run? I am in decent shape, but there was no way I was going to keep up with you." Elizabeth was bent over, hands on her knees trying to catch her breath.

"I just jogged the whole way. Keep in mind, I'm in ROTC, and I've been doing these delayed gratification runs for several months. I've built up decent stamina." He winked at her! "I'm starving! What kind of sandwich do you want? I got a roast beef, ham and turkey. I like them all, so I figured you could choose which you like best."

Elizabeth handed Henry a water bottle. "Probably roast beef, but I'm ok with the others too." She sat down and started unwrapping the sandwich he had handed her. Henry settled beside her and opened the bag of chips facing it so she could get some. They concentrated on eating while thinking about the events of the day.

Since leaving the parking lot, Henry had a nagging feeling about Elizabeth's revelation. It took him a bit to get up the nerve to ask the question. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Now that you know it will be harder to wait, are you still willing to?

"I was just thinking about that. It's kind of eerie when you do that mind reading thing!" She playfully poked Henry in the arm. "Since you seem to be the only one to cause this reaction from me, it seems I will have to keep you around." The glint in her eye told Henry she was teasing him. She put her hand on his knee and looked him in the eye. "Seriously though, I may not fully understand the why of waiting, but I respect you and your request. I won't push to keep going if you want to stop, but you need to know if you"re counting on me to stop us, I won't, because now I know I want it.. How far we go and when depends on you because I'm all in any time!"

"I can live with that." Henry said, breathing a sigh of relief. Since we're on such topics, are you ready for the next installment of 'Henry is Catholic?'"

"Oh gosh! Just what I was hoping for!" Elizabeth retorted.

"Smart aleck." Henry rolled his eyes. "What suits your fancy? Raising children or pro-life issues?"

"Ooo Alex, I'll take Raising Children for $100."

"Darn, you're thinking faster than me. I can't even come up with a witty comeback," he smiled, glad that they seemed to be on even footing for at least the next few minutes.

"This one is actually pretty straightforward. If we have kids, they will be raised in the Catholic faith. Because it isn't something you subscribe to, the task falls on me to teach them what they need to know, get them to Mass and prepare them for the Sacraments. The only expectation for you is to not undermine what they are being taught. If you had any questions though, I'd be happy to answer them."

"I already figured that would be the case. I had a couple friends growing up and the mom was Catholic and the dad wasn't. Both kids were Catholic. It seemed like that was the agreement. I am curious though, what if we have a child who questions their faith? I mean, he or she would be half mine, and I'm sure questioning everything is in my DNA."

"I would hope they would have questions. Hopefully I'll have suitable answers or if I don't know, I talk to a priest or find someone who does. As an adult, of course they have to make the decision on their own, but I hope I do a good enough job that they would remain Catholic."

"I think I know about the pro-life aspect too. Catholics are against abortion. I have no qualms saying that if I were to get pregnant by you, I wouldn't have an abortion. Done! Easy peasy!"

Elizabeth started to get up and Henry put his hand on her knee to keep her sitting. "Yes, but that's not all. It's a belief in life from conception until natural death and abortion is most certainly part of that, but only a part. It also includes end of life issues like cutting off life support and to what extent life saving measures are employed. And there's one other thing, it's kind of related but not completely." Henry took a deep breath. "The physical purpose of sex is to procreate. That's why being married is important. The Church is against any attempts at stopping the natural consequence of marital relations."

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed and Henry knew he was in for a fight. "So you are saying no birth control? Like none at all. Are you even serious?" Her voice grew louder. "No wonder people make jokes about Catholics with big families. If you think I plan on spending my life barefoot and pregnant, you are very mistaken. I have no desire to have 26 kids!"

"Honestly babe, if we had 25 kids, I'm not even sure we'd find the time to make the 26th!" Henry grinned.

"Don't be cute with me Henry McCord. I'm serious. This is where I draw the line."

"Ok, sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood. But really, let's talk kids. Do you want kids? Like someday?"

"Yes, I would like kids-someday." Elizabeth hadn't really thought about the actual number of children much. "My initial thought would be 2, because if something were to happen to both of us, I'd want our kids to have each other. I might be persuaded to go for 1 or 2 more depending on how cute the first two were, but never 26!"

"I can tell you that if our children are as beautiful as you, we'll be closer to 26 than 2. It would wrong of us to withhold perfection like that from the world!" Henry leaned over and kissed Elizabeth.

"Oh you are good!" Elizabeth leaned into the kiss and returned it.

Pulling back. Henry spoke, "so the situation is this. I can't be ok with measures to stop pregnancy from happening and you don't want that constant possibility hanging out there. I physically can't stop you from taking birth control, so I'm putting that ball in your court. If and when we decide to have kids, you can go off of it and go back on whenever you feel it is necessary. I will have no part in it. Will that work?"

"I can live with that. Although this sounds like some sort of negotiation. Losing a little bit of the spontaneity, aren't we?"

"Maybe, but do you really want to have this conversation on our wedding night?"

Elizabeth shook her head with a sly smile. "Right, I'm sure we'll have other wedding night plans. I was thinking about playing Scrabble, what do you think?"

"I think you are awful," Henry said grinning as he reached over and started tickling her. They broke apart laughing. "Hey there didn't you bring something constructive to do?"

They spent the next hour reading and when Elizabeth finished her assignment, they gathered up their stuff and walked more of the trail. It was a challenging hike and they stopped to take a rest on a bench about 3 miles in.

"How much longer is this trail?" Elizabeth asked. "I'm waiting for the downhill portion."

Henry handed her the trail map. "Looks like we should start heading down any time now. We have maybe another mile to go. "You want to hang out here for a few more minutes?" We're in no rush to get back, are we?

"No, not at all." Elizabeth leaned back and interlaced her fingers behind her head, closing her eyes.

Henry just sat back and watched her. _God, she is so beautiful. How did I get lucky enough that she loves me?_

Elizabeth opened her eyes and shifted her eyes to Henry, "Your level of staring is approaching creepy," she said closing her eyes again.

"Sorry, but I think you are just going to have to get used to it. I think you are the most gorgeous woman in the world and I'm making it my hobby to look at you as often as possible." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at Henry as he scooted a little closer and took her hand putting it to his chest. Elizabeth could feel the thrum of his heart under his shirt. "As long as this heart beats, you are mine. I will always take care of you." As Henry attempted to reach around Elizabeth and pull her closer, his hand brushed her breast. Although, it was unintentional, the effect did not go unnoticed. Elizabeth glanced down both directions of the path. Seeing no one, she turned to Henry and gave him a wicked grin.

Shifting her weight, she threw her leg over the top of him so that she straddled his lap. "How's the view now," she asked lowering her lips to kiss his forehead, then his eyelids, his nose, and finally his lips. He slipped his tongue past her lips, running it along the roof of her mouth. She let out a tiny moan. Running her hands down Henry's biceps, she continued until reached his hands. She placed them on her abdomen and dragged them up to her breasts. Even through her shirt, Henry squeezing her breasts and running his thumb over her nipple sent a shockwave through Elizabeth. Instinctively, she ground her hips into him and he bucked up into her."Damn!" she muttered and leapt off his lap. Landing next to him, she reached across and grabbed his jacket, tossing it on his lap covering the very obvious bulge in his sweatpants.

"Elizabeth? What the heck was that?" Henry was confused as to her sudden mood change, but about 3 seconds later, it was clear when several kids came running down the path right in front of them. He looked over at her, flushed and sweaty, legs crossed tightly and draining the water bottle. He was amazed. "How did you do that?"

She shrugged, "I heard them coming this way. I didn't think it was a good idea to scar a bunch of little kids on a nature walk."

"You must have incredible hearing. The only thing I could only hear was my heart beating in my ears," he smirked.

"Hey, are you ready to go? I'll race ya!" Elizabeth took off, but then turned around and yelled back at Henry, "I sure hope there are more steps in your delayed gratification plan. If not, I'm going to need to join the track team." Henry chuckled as he set out after her.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. It's been busy and this chapter wasn't one I had originally planned to write. It just popped up, so it needed more work. I hope it isn't too scattered.

I just wanted to address a couple of things mostly inspired by Rachel's review (not that I think she'll ever even read this, but in case others have been thinking the same thing). First, I think the writers of Madam Secretary have done a stellar job in crafting the characters of Henry and Elizabeth. Their marriage is the reason I watch the show. However, I think it's important to keep in mind that the writers crafted the characters as a couple in their late 40's that have been married 25+ years. I have never met a couple just starting out in their early 20's that communicate and work as a couple the way H/E do. They grow into that kind of relationship through individual experiences and life as a couple. Second, I'm not conveying the full beauty of the Catholic faith. I'll totally cop to that one. I haven't written much more than lesson plans and grocery lists in the last 20 years, I'm probably not on my best game. That, and I am constantly learning more about the Catholic faith. I am no expert. Third, I made Henry a "douchey rigid Catholic" (just FYI, that is the first and likely last time I'll ever type that word). In the show, Henry isn't portrayed as either a faithful or practicing Catholic. My story explores the idea that he is. There is a reason why rad trad Catholics very seldom marry outside of the faith. If you marry someone outside of your faith, then you have to convince them to go along with it, most often with the expectation that they will "see the error of their ways" and join the Church. It works in this story, because at this point in her life, Elizabeth is willing to "go along to get along." She hasn't yet become the fiercely strong and independent woman that we see in the show. She has those qualities now, but they are cultivated by her future life experiences with Henry, the CIA, being a mother, etc.

Oh, and to answer Sally's question-any sexual act that does not culminate in intercourse that is open to life is a sin-so masturbation when used as a replacement for sex, is sinful. Keep in mind that people are sinners. Chapter 11 covers that!

Chapter 10

November 3, 1988

Having dealt with a lot of the hard stuff, Henry was much more comfortable and he and Elizabeth spent the next few weeks enjoying each other's company. They spent hours talking about every subject imaginable and knew almost everything there was to know about each other. That's why Henry didn't even have to see her to know something was wrong when she opened the door to his apartment. First, it was only 3 o'clock and she wasn't planning on coming over until around 6 for dinner. Second, and more importantly, the air in the apartment changed. He could sense the heaviness. He stopped what he was doing and rushed over to Elizabeth as she fell into his arms.

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you ok?" He could see the unshed tears welling up in her eyes. "Tell me baby." He was able to pull her coat off and toss it on the chair and herd her to the couch where she huddled up against him and sobbed. It went on for what seemed like eternity and Henry was growing uncomfortable, not because she was crying but because he still didn't know why. Finally, it slowed. Henry kissed the top of her head and told her he loved her. She looked up at him, eyes-red and puffy, nose-red and runny and still hiccuping from breathing too fast. Yet she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "Can you talk about it yet?"

"It's been six years, Henry. Six years since they left to get ice cream and never came back. Six years since I said, 'shut the door' instead of 'I love you.' Six years of conversations I'll never get to have and motherly advice I've never received. Six years of my dad's hugs. Six years. Part of me feels like it should be better because six years is a long time, but the bigger part of me feels like it just happened yesterday."

He pulled her in tighter, laying his own tear-streaked face against her head. "Grief is like that. You think it's better for a while and then it comes back in a wave drowning you. He murmured into her hair, "Do you know what the difference is between the first five years you suffered through this and this year." Elizabeth looked at Henry questioningly. "I'm here now. You won't drown in the grief because I'll hold you up. I won't let you get swallowed up. I'll be your strength when you have none. I'll keep the faith for you. I've got you. Now and for always." Elizabeth melted into his embrace and let him hold her as the grief overwhelmed her again. She cried until she cried herself to sleep.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she awoke. Her head throbbed and her eyes were still hazy from crying so much, but she was laying on a pillow and had a blanket tucked in all around her. Pushing herself up, she looked out the window and saw that it had grown dark, "Henry?" she called, thinking maybe he had stepped out, but she no sooner got his name out of her mouth then he came flying out of the bedroom and knelt down on the floor next to the couch.

"Hey babe. How are you doing?"

"I have a terrible headache," Elizabeth rubbed her temples. "And I'm starving."

"Good news. I have remedies for both." Henry replied and reached over to the end table sliding the two Tylenol off the edge into his hand and giving them to her. Then he handed her the glass of water that was also sitting there.

She swallowed the capsules, set the water glass back on the table and looked at Henry thoughtfully.. "Thank you for taking care of me."

"There is nothing in this life that I would rather do," he said, leaning up and kissing her on the forehead. "Give me a second and I'll get our dinner ready."

Henry got up and went around the bar into the kitchen. He took the chicken dish and baked potatoes out of the oven and placed portions on the plates he already had sitting out. "Would you like butter or sour cream on your potato?" he asked.

She rose from her spot and joined him. "I'll help." She fixed her potato and got them drinks while he put the baking dishes in the sink to soak. Each carrying their plate and drink over to the table, they sat down.

"How was your day," Elizabeth asked, trying to start a conversation.

"It was fine. Nothing unusual." He watched Elizabeth and tried to decide if what he was about to suggest was a good idea or not.

"What?" She asked when noticed that Henry was lost in thought.

"I was thinking about going somewhere tonight but didn't know if you would be up for it.

"Oh Henry, I don't think so. I wouldn't be very good company tonight."

"Alright," Henry said and shrugged.

Sitting in the silence, curiosity was getting the best of Elizabeth. She waited, thinking Henry would tell her what he wanted to do, but he didn't. Elizabeth didn't know why, but she felt like she had to know. "What did you want to do?" she asked nonchalantly.

"I was going to take a walk through the park and stop by church and light candles for your parents."

"Oh." She thought about that a minute. "Why would you do that? Light candles, I mean."

"There are.a couple of reasons. Light removes the darkness. It's a visual reminder that Christ is the light of the world. Also, during the days Early Church, candles were placed in the catacombs next to the tombs of martyrs. It was thought that the martyrs had a direct line to God and by praying for their intercession, they could "get God's ear" so to speak. So now it's kind of a combination of asking for special intercession or extending a prayer."

"Praying isn't my thing Henry."

"I know. You don't have to do anything. You could just come with me. Or not. I can go tomorrow by myself." Henry dropped it. "I'm going to do the dishes real quick. See if you can find something to watch on TV."

He stacked their plates, balanced the glasses on top and carried them to the sink.

Elizabeth watched him from across the room. _What are you going to do? Why are you even considering it? You haven't stepped foot in a church in 8 years. Well at some point, you're going to have to. Does it need to be tonight? You don't have to do anything but go and watch. It might be nice to do something for them. Oh good grief! Indecision doesn't look good on you Lizzie._

Henry was curious about what Elizabeth was thinking. She had sat down on the couch, and did nothing but stare off into space with her hands in her lap.

The dishes were done. Henry came up and knelt in front of Elizabeth. "What are you thinking about?"

"Whether or not I should go."

"With me? Babe, you asked what I was thinking about and I told you. There wasn't meant to be any kind of pressure to get you to do something you don't want to do. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

"I think maybe they would like it. But I haven't stepped foot in a church in probably 8 years. I don't know that I'm ready."

"How about we walk and you can decide on the way. Good things happen when we go there.. Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that we declared our love for each other on those steps?"

Elizabeth's mouth turned up a tiny bit in the corners giving way to a slight smile. "That was a good night," she said. She held out her hand for him to pull her up off the couch, "Let's go."

The night was brisk and Elizabeth leaned into Henry as they walked through the park. "It's so quiet out here tonight. Peaceful."

"Agreed. How are you doing, really? Henry asked with concern in his eyes.

"Better than in the past. Usually I just stay in bed for a couple of days. At least I'm out and not a complete blubbering mess."

"That's good I suppose. I just want you to be honest with me and let me in. I don't know that I can fix anything, but I'm always willing to listen."

"I know." She wrapped an arm around Henry's waist. They walked in silence.

"Well, what do you think?" Henry asked. Elizabeth was confused for a second until she saw that they were standing in front of St. Thomas Aquinas Church.

"I'm not sure Henry. It seems so silly when I try to verbalize it. I've never felt close to God and then when my parents died, I was so alone. I pretty much told God to fuck off and that I would handle things on my own. And I did, well, I still do, but there's you. Henry, you are in the exact opposite place of where I am. It doesn't feel right for me to be in there.

"All people are welcome. And everyone who comes through the door has done something that makes them feel undeserving of God's grace, but the fact is that His grace is there for all. Of course, we can go home. There's no reason you should feel like you have to go with me. However, if you choose not to, I just want to make sure you know that you are always welcome here."

"Honestly, I think I'd like to do it with you, but not tonight. Today has been draining and I just don't think I'm up for it."

"Sure babe. Let's get you home. We'll stop in at my place and pick up your backpack. Then I'll drive you back." His eyes met Elizabeth's and he saw the deep sadness they contained and it pained him. He couldn't bear to leave her alone. "On second thought, how about you stay with me tonight? I'll drive you back in the morning so you can get ready for class." She nodded and they started walking back.

Arriving back at his apartment, Elizabeth sat down on the couch while Henry went to change for bed. Returning a few minutes later, he sat down next to her and pulled her close. "What are you thinking about, babe?"

"I don't want to be alone ever again."

"You never have to be," Henry said squeezing her a little tighter.

"Take me to bed and hold me tonight. I need to feel you close to me."

"Of course. Go get ready and I'll put a few things away out here."

A few minutes later, he stepped into the bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing one of his t-shirts.

"Are you ready for me to turn the lights off?' She nodded.

Flipping off the light, Henry crossed the room and crawled into bed next to Elizabeth. He wrapped his arm around her as she settled into him with her head in the crook of his neck and her hand over his heart.

"I love you," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

Elizabeth didn't reply because for the first time in six years, she fell asleep when she closed her eyes.

Henry listened to her breathing and occasional soft snore and smiled to himself. _This is how I want to fall asleep every night_. Snuggling down into her, Henry drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This has a large M rated section. If that's not your thing, you can feel free to skip this chapter.

Chapter 11

November 12, 1988

"Are you sure you want me to go?" Henry questioned Elizabeth. "I mean, I don't mind staying here with you."

"For goodness sakes, Henry, I'm fine. Go, have a good time with the ROTC guys. I don't mind and I don't need a babysitter," Elizabeth said, a little exasperated.

"I know. You've just had a rough couple of weeks is all. The plan is for the guys to go out to several bars around town and then crash at Luke's house for the night. You're sure you're ok with that?"

"I trust you Henry. I think you need to have some fun. Hey, do you think it would be ok if I crashed here, though? Cara has some friends coming to visit from her hometown and I don't really want to be in their way. If I'm gone, they can just have run of the room."

"Of course babe, no problem. And when I come home on Sunday morning, we can have a late breakfast together!" Henry pulled her close and kissed her.

Elizabeth laughed, "Doubtful. You'll probably be hungover and want to spend the day in bed sleeping it off."

"While that is a possibility, I'll make every effort not to do that," he whispered, running his tongue along the edge of her ear before sucking on her earlobe. Elizabeth tilted her head back, giving him access to her lips. Henry's lips barely brushed hers, his tongue barely touching her top lip. She threaded her hand up into his hair, pulling his head down forcing his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues tangled until the need for breath overwhelmed them.

"You'd better go or the guys will leave you. I'll just be hanging out here writing a couple of essays for next week." With a quick peck on the lips, Elizabeth shooed Henry out the door.

Elizabeth settled in and spent the rest of the evening focused on her work. Finally, reaching a stopping point, Elizabeth glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that it was almost 2 am. Stacking her books, she called it a night, but not before she grabbed a spoon and took a few bites from the ice cream carton in the freezer. Having satisfied her sweet tooth, she made sure the door was locked and all the lights were turned off before heading to bed.

Henry and the others were on their fifth bar for the evening and he had lost count of the number of drinks. They were having a good time and Henry was glad to spend time with this group of guys. They spent quite a bit of time together for classroom training and drill, but not as much socializing. Around 3 am, they were getting ready to call it a night and head back to Luke's house to sleep off the evening's fun. Realizing they were only a few blocks from his house and Luke's was several miles away, Henry decided to go ahead and go home. He walked the distance fairly quickly, both because of the cold and his growing anxiousness to see Elizabeth. He'd thought of her several times and now, walking in the cold, she was consuming his every thought.

 _RATED M_

He unlocked the door and stepped in quietly. Locking it behind him, and hanging up his coat, he kicked his shoes off and headed toward the bedroom. It seemed that the cold had heightened his senses enough that he didn't notice how intoxicated he was. Now, as he warmed, he felt the alcohol coursing through his body.

Carefully opening the door, he grinned. He thought it interesting that when she slept with him, she always tucked herself into him and remained that way through the night. However, when she was by herself, she spread out all over the bed.

 _God she's gorgeous. Just look at her._ In the moonlight shining through the window, Henry swore she looked angelic. His breath became shallow as he watched her sleep.

Unable to contain his desire, he moved to the bed and sat down beside Elizabeth. Running his fingers gently over her palm and up her arm, Henry picked up her hand to kiss it.

He continued, ghosting over her neck and jawline with his fingers. He cupped her face and she started to stir. Slowly opening her eyes, he came into focus. "Hey baby, what are you doing here?" she said smiling drowsily

"I missed you." Henry answered, leaning down, pressing their foreheads together. He pulled back and studied Elizabeth. "God, you're beautiful." He spoke with such conviction that it caused her to shiver and blush simultaneously. In the pale moonlight, she watched the glint in his eyes turn from love to lust. He pulled away from her and stood. He shed his shirt and pants, leaving him only in his boxers. Henry lay down beside her, part of his weight bearing down on her. He kissed her with a ferocity she had never known. It was strong-and raw-almost savage, and she wanted it, reveled in it.

"You've been drinking," she mumbled when he finally pulled away.

"Yeah," he answered back as one hand tangled in her hair and the other snaked up her shirt massaging her breast.

"This probably isn't a good idea," she whispered, as she leaned forward encouraging him to remove her shirt.

Pulling the shirt over her head and seeing her naked breasts for the first time, he rasped, "It's a fantastic idea," His mouth was on her, tongue swirling around her nipple, making it a hard peak. Elizabeth caught hold of Henry's hand and pushed it up to her other breast, showing ihm what she wanted. Rolling her nipple between his thumb and index finger sent an electric pulse throughout her body, causing Elizabeth to cry out. Her sounds were spurring Henry on, pressure pooling low in him.

Shifting his focus to her other breast, licking, teasing, his free hand found its way down her body to the hem of her panties. "Oh-uhhh-H-Henry, please," Elizabeth begged, needing his touch. Her hips pushed into him pleading for the friction her body craved.

Elizabeth"s eyes met Henry's. "Pull them off," arousal dripping from her voice. Pushing her hips up slightly, Henry slid her panties down her legs and tossed them on the floor. "Come here," she pulled his face close to hers, kissing him hard, all the while, guiding his hand to her center. When his fingers touched her wetness, they both moaned. "Right there," she panted and she held his finger to her clit. Henry started moving his finger in circles and her legs started trembling. "Oh god." she cried out and he slid two fingers into her, hitting her spot. She flew over the edge, her body went rigid, clamping down on his fingers, and she arched back.

Henry couldn't even put into words how arousing it was to watch her come undone. As she came down from her climax, she turned into Henry and slid her hand down over his boxers. Encouraging him to push his hips up, she pulled his boxers down freeing his erection. She took hold of it, rubbing her thumb over the tip, eliciting a guttural moan. Elizabeth pumped him slowly at first, and then faster and when he was just on the brink, she massaged his balls. He came hard into her hand and she stroked him through his orgasm. Henry was panting, trying to catch his breath and Elizabeth crawled off the bed to grab the t-shirt she'd been wearing. She used it to wipe both of them off and tossed it back on the floor before pulling up the covers and moved back into the bed next to him.

"That was-amazing," Elizabeth murmured in his ear.

"Yes, it was," Henry agreed. "Only one thing missing."

"Oh really! What was that?" she giggled.

"I didn't get to sink myself into you," he said, as he moved her hand down to his already hardening penis.

"Geez Henry! Who recovers that quickly?" Elizabeth was dumbfounded.

"I guess I've been waiting too long for this." he grinned, running his hand down her side to her ass and pulling her up into him.

"Henry, this is definitely not a good idea." Elizabeth warned.

"You don't want to?" Henry asked.

"I'm pretty sure that's not the point," she told him.

"But you said you wouldn't stop me."

"I did, and I wouldn't stop sober Henry, but drunk Henry needs to stop. We've probably already crossed enough lines tonight as it is. That is one I'm not going to let you cross. You'd be irate with yourself tomorrow, and I don't want any part of that." Pulling away and getting up, she picked up Henry's pajama pants off of a chair and tossed them his direction and picked her panties up off of the floor slipping them on. Pulling a new t-shirt of out Henry's drawer, she slid it over her head, "Now we can either curl up together and go to sleep or, if you think you can't handle it, I'll go sleep on the couch, but either way, we're going to sleep."

"Good grief woman, you are so bossy," he said as he reached over and pulled her into the bed. He tickled her and she giggled uncontrollably. He pulled her in and kissed her sweetly. "I'm sure you are right, that I shouldn't be making decisions right now. I love that you care enough to hold me to my words."

"Just so we're clear, I'd love to feel you inside me, but just not this way." Elizabeth said as she yawned.

Henry yawned too and closed his eyes, "I'll make you pancakes in the morning."

"Doubtful," Elizabeth murmured as she fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks to those who keep reading. Reviews are much appreciated. FYI: this has an M rated section in the middle. I've marked it, so you can skip it if you want.

Chapter 12

December 15, 1988

Elizabeth and Henry had packed the car and were getting ready to leave for Pittsburgh to visit Henry's family. The semester was finished, finals were taken and the stress level was supposed to be dropping. However, Henry and Elizabeth weren't feeling the sense of relief that others were. Henry felt like he was jumping out of an airplane without a parachute, and to make matters worse, he was dragging Elizabeth along for the ride. The relationship Henry had with his father was tense on the best of occasions, but he knew that bringing Elizabeth home with him wasn't going to go over well. His family, especially his father and sister, were opposed to him dating anyone who wasn't Catholic. If that wasn't enough, the fact that Elizabeth had attended a private boarding school and had traveled abroad would send them off the deep end.

She had already met his parents once, briefly, when they came to visit campus for Parent's Weekend. They had only been dating a month or so and the four of them had gone out for coffee. That half hour had probably been the most stressful of Henry's life. Of course, Elizabeth had handled it with grace and charm, answering all of his father's difficult questions without a hitch and added a smile for effect. 30 minutes had been one thing, but 2 weeks was quite another.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, was giddy with excitement. It had been a long time since she was part of any family Christmas and she was planning to enjoy it, regardless of anything Henry's family might throw at her. She was much more concerned about her own family. She and Henry were leaving directly from his parents and driving to her aunt and uncle's house in Connecticut to meet her brother, Will. They had made plans to spend a week there, but Elizabeth doubted if they would. They could all only be around each other for three or four days before it got to be too much and she and Will would leave and go their separate ways. They all knew she was dating Henry but had never met him. She figured that would go over like a lead balloon. Henry's family was working class, not the kind of people that her aunt and uncle would ever associate with. Then add that Henry was a Catholic, studying religion no less, and she figured her atheist aunt and uncle would stroke out. Elizabeth grinned at the thought and then reprimanded herself for thinking such awful things.

Elizabeth was leaning against the end of the bar lost in thought when Henry sidled up behind her. Wrapping an arm around her waist he pulled her close and brushed her hair back. He planted several open mouth kisses down her neck. She leaned back into him and sighed.

"Tell me this is a good idea," she said.

"This is a good idea," Henry deadpanned.

"Stop that!" she jokingly hit him on the arm. Turning to face him, Elizabeth asked, "Will it really be that bad?"

"I have been praying that it won't be. That's all I can say for sure." Henry studied her. "Actually I can also say for certain that I love you, and our families, while important, do not have the right to make decisions about us or our lives."

"Keep telling yourself that, mister. Oh and by the way, I think you're ok too!" She cupped his face and brought his lips to hers, kissing him sweetly.

She tried to pull back, but Henry didn't let her. "You know that for the next three weeks, you are pretty well off limits to me and this is how our last kiss is going to go?"

She smirked, "What exactly were you looking for there Mr. McCord?"

"Something more along the lines of this," Henry lowered his mouth to Elizabeth's and captured her bottom lip, sucking on it gently, then passing his tongue over it asking for admittance, which was immediately granted. Tongues touched and the heat between them started to rise.

"Henry," she mumbled through the kiss. "We're going to be late."

"I don't care."

Pulling back, Elizabeth pointed out, "But I do. I'm trying to make a good impression and you showing up all disheveled with lipstick smeared all over your face isn't the right impression."

"My hard on probably wouldn't help matters either," and he grabbed her hand pulling it to the bulge in his jeans.

"You are impossible Henry McCord! I'm getting in the car. You need to wipe my lipstick off and comb your hair. I'll take care of your other issue later," Elizabeth winked at him and walked out the door.

Three hours later they were well on their way. Thankfully the weather had been cooperative and it was just cold, not snowy or icy. They stopped to get gas and a snack before the last half of the trip. Henry noticed that when Elizabeth got back into the car, that she'd removed her makeup. He thought she looked even more beautiful without it, but she never liked to go out in public without at least something on. He was studying her curiously when she caught his gaze. "What?" She wanted to know.

"You took your makeup off?"

"Is that a bad thing?" She shot him a look.

"You know it's not. But somethings up. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Your keen observational skills can be very annoying. Now drive." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at him and he decided that continuing the conversation was pointless.

She turned the radio on and settled back into the seat pretending to rest, but her mind was doing anything but resting. _Ok Lizzie, you told yourself before you left that you would do this. You can do this. It's not like you haven't done it before. But it hasn't been my idea before. But it's your idea now. This could go all wrong. What's to go wrong? This is Henry. You love him and he loves you. Are you seriously thinking you will never give him a blow job? You need to get over put yourself out there. On the off chance he's not on board, he'll just tell you so. Stop thinking about it and do it._

Elizabeth took a deep breath. She spent a little time trying to figure out exactly why she was so undecided and nervous about what she wanted to do. She finally decided it had to do with her initiating something sexual. Other than a hug or maybe a kiss, Henry was almost always the one to start anything more physical than that. In her past, she hadn't ever been the one to start something. The more she thought about it the more she decided she was over thinking. She laughed at the irony of thinking about overthinking, and it caught Henry's attention.

"What's funny?" he asked glancing over at her.

"I am," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes. He side eyed her. "Listen, Henry, um, I think I want-no, I do want to do something-something that's out of my comfort zone."

"Ok, sure babe. I'll support you in whatever you want to try."

"Good answer. How well do you multitask?" Her question came with a shift in the seat and her hand settling on Henry's upper thigh.

"Pretty well. Why?" Henry glanced down at her hand.

*****RATED M*****

Elizabeth leaned into him and pressed little kisses along his jawline. When she got to his ear, she whispered, "I am going to make you come," Her hand started stroking his penis through his pants.

"Shit Elizabeth! Right now? That's dangerous!" Henry looked a little panicked, but his look was turning Elizabeth on, tamping down her insecurities. She decided she could actually enjoy this.

She lifted the armrest and pushed it back out of the way. "You said you could multitask. We're just seeing how well you really do it." Elizabeth grinned at him as she unbuttoned his jeans. Henry instinctively lifted his hips so she could pull his jeans down a bit. Continuing to stroke him, she could feel the blood rushing to harden his penis and she felt herself getting wet in anticipation.

Elizabeth kissed his cheek and his neck before dropping into his lap, catching Henry off guard. "Elizabeth, what the he-?" and she enveloped him in her hot, wet mouth taking him all the way in until his tip touched the back of her throat. "Oooohhhh, fuck!' he cried out making her smile against him. She didn't think she'd ever heard him use that word and it gave her confidence that this was a good idea. She pulled back and focused on his tip, swirling her tongue and sucking his pre-cum. She took him back in again, sucking his length. Henry couldn't contain his moans. He buried his hand in her hair and she felt the car accelerate.

She let go and turned her head to side-eye him, "Mister McCord, make sure you keep your eyes open and on the road, and make sure you obey the speed limit. I think this would be a pretty compromising position for a cop to find us in." He laughed, but sucked in this breath when she went down on him again.

Elizabeth continued and knew he was close when he bucked into her. "Sorry babe," he huffed out, but then he stiffened. "I'm going to c-." She swallowed and continued to milk him through his orgasm. She let him go when he was finished and pulled his boxers back up.

*****END OF M RATED SECTION*****

Sitting back up in her seat, Elizabeth waited for Henry's reaction. She was surprised when Henry slowed and turned off of the highway. He parked the car and turned to look at her. All of a sudden, Elizabeth felt uneasy. That lasted all of two seconds before Henry pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. Tasting himself on her, he grinned. "You are amazing, and that was more than amazing." He kissed her again before fixing his pants. "For future reference, you can only ever do that on straight roads because I don't think I could negotiate curves while you are on me like that."

"Let's go meet your family. I think we're ready now," she said laughing.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hi all! Thank you for continuing to read. I know some are disappointed with the lack of a Morning after chapter. They'll get around to discussing it (and several other things). That's in 14 15. So hopefully you'll hang on for that.

Chapter 13

With make-up reapplied and hair fixed, Elizabeth waited for Henry to walk around the car to get the door for her. Sitting in front of Henry's parents' home was surreal. It was a one and a half story Craftsman bungalow with a small but neatly manicured yard with a white picket fence around the front. The whole scene looked like it came out of a storybook.

MaryHelen McCord stepped out on the front porch, "Henry!" she exclaimed and came down the walk to meet them. She hugged Henry fiercely and then turned to Elizabeth and swept her up in a hug as well, "Elizabeth! I'm so glad you are here. I can't wait to get to know the woman that is stealing my boy away from me." Panic flashed across Elizabeth's eyes and MaryHelen caught it immediately. "Oh honey, I'm just teasing. Henry has told me such wonderful things about you.. Relax, You'll be fine." She wrapped an arm around Elizabeth and started walking her into the house when she called over her shoulder, "Henry, bring in the bags."

The first couple days went by quickly. Elizabeth fell in love with Henry's mom and she got along fine with Henry's siblings Erin and Shane. Henry's dad, Patrick, had a general disdain for her. Henry had tried to placate her by saying that he was pretty much like that with everyone. Elizabeth had a difficult time believing it since there had been a steady stream of visitors to the McCord home and he was gracious to all of them. Maureen, Henry's oldest sister, was openly hostile to her. She contained herself pretty well when everyone was together, but when they were alone, Maureen never missed an opportunity to be insulting.

It was especially difficult when they went to bed at night. The girls all slept in one bedroom and Henry and Shane in the other. Maureen grilled Elizabeth relentlessly on many topics, but it almost always came back in some way to Elizabeth not being Catholic. At one point, even Erin who was only 16, told Maureen to knock it off or she was going to tell their mom. Thankfully that actually did shut Maureen up and Elizabeth mouthed "thank you" to Erin.

Saturday morning after breakfast, Henry caught Elizabeth in the hall and for the first time in two days there were alone. He backed her against the wall and held her close. He kissed her chastly and tucked her hair behind her ear, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm doing alright."

"I'm pretty sure that's an exaggeration. I could hear Maureen last night. I couldn't tell what she was saying, but I didn't figure it was a make-up tutorial."

Elizabeth laughed. "I would have loved makeup advise."

"Hey, I made an appointment to see Fr. Tony this morning. Do you want to come along? To get out of the house."

"Fr. Tony?"

"Yeah, he's the pastor at our church here. I've known him since I was probably 10 or 11."

"What are you talking to him about?" Elizabeth was perplexed.

Checking the hallway to make sure they were still alone, he whispered, "I need to go to Confession. If I don't, I won't be able to take Communion tomorrow morning at Mass and that will open a whole can of worms. I do not want our intimate lives to become the topic of Sunday lunch!"

"Oh God no!" Elizabeth spat out. She'd already been deflecting Maureen's questions for two nights now. That was bad enough.

"Right! So do you want to go with me?"

"Sure. For whatever reason, going to church sounds much less threatening than being left alone here with Maureen. Let me go get ready."

Henry chuckled, but grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back to him. "Skip the makeup. I don't want to show up at the rectory looking like I just made out with my girlfriend."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, "Even though you just made out with your girlfriend?? I'm not sure if Confession will help or not!" she smirked.

She descended the stairs about 10 minutes later wearing a solid red t-shirt with a navy and red patterned cardigan, jeans and boots. The sides of her hair were pulled back neatly with a clip. Henry swallowed thickly. Sometimes he was just blown away by her beauty and poise. making the effort not to get fixated on Elizabeth's attractiveness, he changed direction completely. "Hey mom?" Henry called into the kitchen, "Elizabeth and I are going to visit Fr. Tony. Do want us to pick anything up for you while we are out?"

MaryHelen came into the living room wiping her hands on a dish towel. "No hon, I think we have everything we need. Will you be back in time for lunch?"

Henry looked at Elizabeth who shrugged, then he turned back to his mom. "We'll definitely eat lunch here, but I'm not sure when we'll be back, so please don't wait on us. We'll just eat whenever we get back, if that's ok?"

"Sounds good. See you two later."

Henry walked Elizabeth to the car and shut the door after she got in. When he got in, he turned to her, "OK, three things. One, you look absolutely stunning today. Two, I am so sorry about my Dad and Maureen. I know how exhausting I find them, so I can't even begin to imagine how put out you are. And three, I haven't slept hardly at all because you aren't with me. I've missed you terribly and I think it's worse because I know you are only a room away."

"One, thank you. Two, they are you family and I'll deal with it. Three, I know. I'm not sleeping well either and I know you aren't because your bed creaks every time you roll over!"

"You can hear it in the other room? That's awful. I guess we know what we won't be doing in that bed!:

Elizabeth laughed, "I don't think so."

"Or we'd just have to make sure everyone is out of the house," Henry winked.

"I'm pretty sure the opportunity won't present itself, so we can just not even worry about it."

Leaning into each other, they kissed softly. Elizabeth threaded one hand up into Henry's hair and deepened the kiss, the other hand rested on his thigh. Henry reciprocated and within minutes the windows were fogged up, tongues were dueling and hands were groping whatever was closest. That's when the passenger door flew open and Maureen stuck her head in. "Mom just wanted to makes sure you weren't having car trouble. Hmm, I guess I'll let her know that's not the problem at all," and she slammed the car door shut.

"Shit! Of course it had to be Maureen." Henry was greatly annoyed but for some reason, maybe sleep deprivation, Elizabeth started giggling and could not stop.

"You gotta either laugh or cry and frankly, I've done enough crying, so this will just have to be a laugh moment."

Henry studied her. "You are a far better person than I deserve. I'm ready to kill her and you're laughing it off."

"Well that's probably because I haven't known her long enough, but she's still your family."

"Let's go see Fr Tony before Miss Nosy comes back to check on us!"

Fr. Tony welcomed them in. Henry introduced them and the three chatted for a few minutes. Henry took Elizabeth down to Fr. Tony's study and made sure she was comfortable and then he joined Fr Tony in his office.

Already wearing his violet stole, Fr. Tony invited Henry to sit down. Henry made The Sign of the Cross, and continued with his confession. After receiving absolution, the two men talked for quite a while. Henry came out with a whole different perspective, one that was troubling him to say the least.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth grew bored sitting in the study and went wandering. She found herself walking down a hallway that lead to a beautiful carved oak door. On it hung a sign that read "Welcome to all." Pushing the door open, she found herself at the side entrance of the church. The smell hit her first. It was the scent of old books and wood polish with a faint lingering of what she guessed was incense. Looking around, the church was much more ornate than any she had been in been in before. There was intricately carved woodwork everywhere, exquisite statuary and candles, lots of unlit candles.

"Can I help you? Elizabeth's head snapped around. A lady, who looked to be about 65 years old, was standing next to her.

"Oh, no, I don't think so. I'm just waiting for… My boyfriend came to see Fr. Tony and I am just waiting for them to finish."

"I see. Well, while you're are waiting, I'm going to put you to work. Third Saturday is left side chair rails and window sills." The lady handed her a dust cloth. "You dust ahead of me. I'll follow with the polish. Get in all of the nooks and crannies. We like to keep things tidy around here. By the way, my name's Maggie. And you are?"

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Adams. Where do you want me to start?"

"I always start up there in the far corner and work my way back." Elizabeth started dusting in the spot Maggie told her to and Maggie followed behind. "So, are you new to town?"

"I don't live here. I go to school at UVA and am just in town for part of Christmas break."

"I know UVA is a big place, but you wouldn't happen to know a boy, last name McCord? He's from this parish."

Elizabeth laughed. "Small world. He's the one talking to Fr. Tony."

"Really, you don't say. You been dating long? I'll tell you, hang on to him if you can. He's a keeper and pretty nice looking too." Maggie grinned at her.

"We've been dating just under a year, and no I don't plan on getting rid of him anytime soon." Elizabeth smiled back. This was definitely a quirky conversation, but she was enjoying Maggie.

"Gosh. I think I was married and 6 months pregnant by the time I knew Harold for a year," Maggie laughed. "Kids do it a lot different these days. Date forever, live together, then get married and seems like half the time they get divorced anyway. Kind of a funny thing. My girlfriends and I were all married by 18 and, with the exception of Martha and Connie, whose husbands died in the war, we're all still married." Maggie sighed, "Oh well, just ramblings from an old woman."

Elizabeth was intrigued. "Actually I find it very interesting. I'm going to be 20 in a few weeks and even though I plan to marry Henry, that seems like a someday kind of thing. It feels like I'm too young to be getting married."

Maggie gave Elizabeth a sly grin, "You know what I think the real difference is? Back in my day, you were supposed to wait to uh--do the deed." Elizabeth could feel herself blush. This is such a bizarre conversation to be having with someone I don't even know! In church no less! Maggie continued, "The options were to wait and you ended up getting married because you couldn't wait any longer or not wait and then get married because you got caught or were afraid you were about to get caught. Now, in my day, the war did play into it also. Boys were afraid to go off to war and not have anyone at home. But, in any case, you wanted to be married sooner than later. Now the institution of married isn't important and sleeping with other people is a fly by night sort of thing. There isn't a pressing need to be married."

"There you are!" Henry said when he opened the door. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Oh, Mrs. Montgomery, it's nice to see you again." Henry reached out and gave the woman a hug. "It's been quite a while."

"Yes it has. Probably too long in fact. I know your mother misses you. You don't make it home that often."

"A fact that she mentions to me every time we talk," Henry grinned knowing that he was being guilted. "Listen, if it's ok, can I steal your helper back? I told mom we'd be home for lunch.:

"Of course." Maggie said, and turning to Elizabeth, "It was a delight to meet you. I'll look forward to seeing you around. Maybe we'll finish our conversation."

"It was good to meet you too Maggie, and thanks for recruiting me. I enjoyed our talk." Elizabeth shook her hand.

Turning to look at Henry, Elizabeth asked, "Do you think we could take a minute and light those candles we talked about?"

"Absolutely babe," Henry answered and pulled her close to him as they walked down the aisle to the back of the nave. "I just had an interesting discussion with Fr. Tony. I'll tell you about it later."

"Funny you should say that. I could say the same thing about Maggie."

Standing in front of the votive candles, Elizabeth asked, "Now exactly what do we do here?"

"Well, you take the stick here and use another candle to light it. Then you light an unlit candle for every person or intention you want. You pray for that person or situation and that's all. I don't mind doing the praying. You could just think about your parents if you want, or really whatever you feel comfortable doing."

As Elizabeth lit two candles, Henry prayed for their souls and in thanksgiving for raising the daughter that he loved more each day. Henry then lit three more candles for Will and Elizabeth as they continued to cope with the loss of their parents and the last was for a clear message regarding what he and Fr. Tony had talked about.

Walking out of the church, Henry took Elizabeth's hand in his own. "So how exactly did you come to be polishing woodwork with Mrs. Montgomery?"

"I would say I was bored and being nosy and stumbled into it. You would probably say that God lead me to her." At that moment, Elizabeth noticed Henry absentmindedly rubbing circles on her bare left ring finger while he was holding her hand. She nodded to herself. Yeah, you would definitely say it was a God thing. "Why don't we get back to the house? I'm starving."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This is sort of a part 1 2. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 14

There wasn't a moment of peace once Henry and Elizabeth returned to the house. Everyone was still having lunch, so the couple joined them at the table. After lunch, Shane and Henry went outside with Patrick to help put up Christmas lights Maureen went upstairs to get ready for work. That left Erin and Elizabeth to help MaryHelen clean up the lunch dishes and get food lined out for dinner.

When Elizabeth immediately volunteered to do the dishes, MaryHelen put an arm around her shoulder and said, "You know, you don't always have to volunteer for this job. Erin can do dishes too."

"Actually, I want to help, but my kitchen skills are really lacking. This is a job that I can do without messing anything up. I'm fine with it and I'm sure Erin doesn't mind the break."

"Erin is totally ok with Elizabeth doing the dishes," Erin chimed in and laughed.

MaryHelen sensed there was more to the story and was trying to decide how to ask without being too pushy. Evidently her proximity to Elizabeth and silence was just the ticket because Elizabeth started to speak, "When I was growing up, my mom didn't cook often. It was just the three of us most of the time because my dad traveled quite a bit for work. When he was home we usually went out to eat or he picked up dinner and brought it home for us. When it was just us, we had sandwiches or simple things. It's kind of funny. When I turned 14, Mom told me that I should learn how to cook and we set aside one night a week for her to teach me the basics. She died 6 weeks later." Elizabeth took a deep breath, "So, I can make a great cup of tea and a decent cup of coffee, and grilled cheese. If any of those are on your menu, I'm your go-to gal!" Elizabeth smiled, but MaryHelen could see the unshed tears welling up behind her eyes.

Maureen walked into the kitchen only hearing Elizabeth's last sentence and spouted, "You'll be a real catch for someone with those skills." MaryHelen turned on her heel and gave Maureen a death glare that shut her down instantly, "Sorry, geez!" Then she turned and walked out of the room.

MaryHelen pulled her into a hug and said, "I know it wouldn't be the same, but if there's anything you'd like to know how to make, I'd be honored to show you how, and if I don't know, we could learn together."

A single tear rolled down Elizabeth's cheek, which she quickly brushed away, "Thank you very much. It is very sweet of you to offer. I might just take you up on it. But, right now I should probably get these cleaned up so we have room to work."

Henry was on the roof with Shane, while his father was on the ladder feeding them Christmas lights. Henry was still thinking about his conversation with Fr. Tony when his father started speaking to him, "Your mom said that you went to visit with the priest this morning."

It took Henry a second to come out of his thoughts and process what was said, "Oh yeah, I stopped by to see Fr. Tony."

"You asking about marrying her?"

"I'm guessing by 'her' you mean Elizabeth, and not that it's any of your business, but no, that's not why I went."

"Good. You're smarter than I gave you credit for." They had reached the end of the house and only had a couple feet of lights left. "Just double back that little bit and we'll call it good."

Patrick got off the ladder and held the bottom steady while the boys climbed down. Henry looked his father in the eye as he stepped off, "What exactly did you mean by that?"

"By what?" Patrick had already forgotten what he had even said and that made Henry even angrier.

"That it was a good thing I wasn't talking marriage to Fr. Tony."

"Right, because it won't last Henry. She's not our people. She'll take off with the next high society guy that comes her way. You're all wrapped up thinking she loves you and you're gonna get crushed. Quite frankly, I don't care if you tap that, but don't get her pregnant, because you aren't marrying her."

Henry lunged at his father, but was taken out by Shane who saw what was coming and reacted a split second faster than Henry. The two boys grappled, while Patrick walked away rolling his eyes. Shane was finally able to get on top of Henry and pin him down, "Dammit Henry stop! Beating the crap out of me isn't going make him not be a jerk."

Henry finally calmed himself just enough to realize that it was Shane he was pummeling, not his father. He stopped squirming under Shane, who got up, and held his hand out to Henry to pull him up. "I'm sorry Shane. I didn't even realize it was you. Ah shit! Sorry about the busted lip."

"No doubt! I'm glad I've been lifting weights for wrestling or you might have kicked my ass. That ROTC stuff has buffed you up!"

Henry laughed, "Yeah, just a little bit." Then he sobered. "Why does he have to be that way? And why do I take the bait every single damn time?"

"Because you are a sucker! That's why!" Shane punched Henry in the arm hard. "That's for popping me in the mouth,"

The boys put the ladder away and came inside through the kitchen door where MaryHelen and the girls were still working. Henry hugged Elizabeth and ran his cold hands up the back of her shirt making her squeal and push him away. "You're mean Henry Patrick McCord!" she said laughing.

"I was just trying to warm myself up." he said smirking at her, hoping she wouldn't notice the anger that still lay just beneath the surface. "Let me wash up and put these clothes away and we can hang out for a bit." Elizabeth nodded and continued to work on the task in front of her.

Upstairs, Henry stepped into the bathroom to wash up. Splashing warm water on his face, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. The day's events suddenly came crashing down on him, taking his breath away. The talk with Fr. Tony, that he had previously taken so nonchalantly earlier in the day, then hearing his father talk about Elizabeth like she was an object. He realized that he was no better. In fact, he was far worse.

Coming down the stairs, he saw Elizabeth sitting on the end of the couch thumbing through a magazine. Guilt ripped through him and he almost turned and retreated. But, just then she looked up, saw him and smiled. He descended the stairs coming to stand in front of her. "Let's go somewhere a little more private," Henry suggested taking her hand and leading her up the stairs. They stepped into the girls' room. With Maureen having left for work and Erin down in the kitchen with her mom, they had some uninterrupted time. "I love you so much," he said as he leaned down to let their lips touch. He gently sucked her top lip, but didn't go any farther. He didn't feel worthy to even kiss her.

"Henry, is something wrong?" she asked as she pulled back to look into his eyes. They were filled with pain and sadness. She could feel the ache in his heart when she placed her hand on his chest. "Baby, what is it?"

"I'm afraid I've ruined it all. I've ruined what could've been with my pridefulness and greed, And, to make it worse, I took you with me. I took advantage of you," The sob that had been working its way to the surface finally bubbled out as he clung to Elizabeth, "and you'll want to leave."

She was thoroughly confused, but did not speak. She sat down on the bed, pulling him with her and held him while he let go. When she thought he'd finally calmed enough to listen, she took his head in her hands and lifted it so she could look into his eyes. "I don't know what is going on, but I love you and I'm not going anywhere." He fell back into the crook of her neck and stayed for a long time crying silently.

When he felt like he was able, Henry met her gaze. His voice came out raspy, "We should've talked about this back when it happened, but I was too full of myself to see the damage I caused to us-to you."

"You're going to have to be a little more specific Henry. I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about that night, Elizabeth. I got drunk and came home wanting you. We never talked about what was and wasn't ok, how far was too far and I let you be responsible, which wasn't fair because you didn't know. Then I tried to talk myself into believing it was ok because I was drunk and it wasn't ok because I did it purposely. And then you were so good. I wanted it so much that I let us do it again and again. Then in the car, I didn't even know I could feel like that, that you could do that to me." Henry buried his head in his hands. "I've been going to Confession confessing sins that I'm not really sorry for and have had no intention of stopping. Fr. Tony called me out on it today and the more I think about it the worse I feel and then there's dad. I don't even know what the hell to do with that."

Elizabeth sat there dumbfounded. For the most part, Henry was still rambling but she felt like she understood the gist. "Henry, exactly how far was too far?"

He rubbed his temples. "Anything that caused an orgasm." He sat and waited for the fallout that he knew would come.

Elizabeth blew out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She rose from the bed and started pacing the room. "Henry, I know this didn't start as my thing, but you made it our thing and then you deceived me. You obviously knew and instead of telling me so I could support you, you used me as an excuse to go against what you supposedly believe and justified it." And then there's the car. THIS is why I don't initiate stuff! Dammit!

"I know." He dropped his head again. "I am so sorry."

"So now what?" She turned and looked at him from across the room.

"I can take you home if you want."

"What? Take me home?" Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief. "I'm pissed off but I'm not leaving. What did Fr. Tony tell you? I hope he had some insight."

"His words weren't particularly helpful." Henry lamented.

"Why? What did he say?"

"He said we should get married. That once you know you've found the person that is your lifetime partner, you should just marry her. The longer you drag it out, the more you have issues like this."

"Oh."

"Yeah, not very feasible," he mumbled.

"Exactly why isn't it feasible Henry?" He looked up at her blankly. Suddenly, all of the irritation and hurt she had tamped down in dealing with Maureen and Patrick over the past couple of days, and now Henry, forced its way out. "Right, of course, I'm good enough to get you off and make you feel good, but I'm definitely not marriage material. I would need to be Catholic for that! So what am I, just practice for when you find someone that fits your criteria?" Turning her back to Henry, the tears flowed freely. She was doing everything in her power to remain standing and keep her sobs from escaping.

"That's not true. Not at all." Henry said as stepped in to hug her from behind.

"Don't touch me!" she said forcefully pushing him back. It all became too much and Elizabeth crumpled to the floor and sobbed.

Henry was at a loss. This entire thing is my fault. What am I going to do to make it right? Will I even be able to make it right. God help me. I know I am so undeserving, especially after the way I have been acting. I cannot live without her.. He was about to sit down next to her when he decided a different course of action. When he left and pulled the door shut, Elizabeth cried harder.

Henry managed to slip through the living room, where Erin and his father were watching TV. Stepping into the kitchen, he saw his mom sitting at the table looking through a cookbook. "Mom," he paused and she looked up, concern instantly filling her features. "What's wrong Henry?"

"I messed up. And Elizabeth is so angry with me right now that she won't let me be near her. Do you think you could go sit with her so she isn't by herself?"

"Oh Henry. What did you do? Actually, nevermind. It doesn't matter. Sometimes men do really dumb things." MaryHelen said as she got up, patting Henry on the shoulder.

"Yes ma'am. If you have the opportunity, please tell her that I'm really sorry and that I love her."

Knocking softly on the bedroom door, MaryHelen could still hear Elizabeth crying. When there was no answer, she opened the door and her heart broke for the girl laying in a heap on the floor.. Stepping inside, she pushed the door shut behind her. Crossing the room, she knelt by Elizabeth's side and touched her shoulder. Elizabeth flinched and turned to see who it was. Seeing MaryHelen, she pushed herself to a sitting position trying to pull herself together choking out an "I'm sorry,"

MaryHelen leaned over and grabbed the box of tissues of of Erin's nightstand and sat back against the edge of the bed. "Come here," she said and opened her arms to Elizabeth. Elizabeth hesitated and MaryHelen gave her the same look that her own mom used to give her when she expected nothing less than compliance to the request. Elizabeth took a couple of tissues from the box, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Then she scooted over to lean against MaryHelen, who wrapped her arms around Elizabeth and held her. It was a good while before Elizabeth completely stopped.

"Now," MaryHelen said, handing her the tissues again, "Do you think you are ready to talk about it?"

"I don't know that there is much to talk about. Henry said it wasn't feasible to marry me. I'm not sure what to do with that."

"I don't know what transpired between the two of you, but I do know that Henry is downstairs looking worse than he did when he lost his best friend, so I feel confident in saying this is something between the two of you that needs to be talked out."

"Would I ever be accepted into this family if I'm not Catholic? I don't know that I could put Henry through that even if he was willing."

"Is that what this is about? MaryHelen took Elizabeth's hand into her own. "I will be the first to tell you that being in this family is hard. Being new is harder. Patrick and Maureen don't do change well and they are both fiercely loyal to what they know. You are different, not bad, but unknown. Right now they view you as the one who took Henry away and they think they can run you off. I knew a long time ago that Henry wasn't like his brother and sisters. He was always meant to go out and do his own thing. You have nothing to do with it, although, I have hoped that maybe he would come home more often if he had a family to bring back. As for being Catholic, I know how important his faith is to him and if he chose you knowing that you aren't, then it will be fine. It may be harder in some respects, but not undoable. You just have to keep talking through it." MaryHelen studied Elizabeth. "I'm going to have Henry warm up the car and the two of you are going to take a drive. Sometimes it's easier to have a hard conversation when you are stuck in close proximity, but don't always have to keep eye contact. Meet him in 10 minutes."

MaryHelen stood. "You'll be ok. You love each other and remember men often do dumb things."

Elizabeth remained unconvinced.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Elizabeth crawled into the car with a waiting Henry. Henry started, "Look, I"

"Don't," she cut him off, "just drive. I need to get in the right mindset to do this." She turned toward the window and took a deep breath. You need to be strong. No tears. When it's over, you can deal with it later, by yourself, alone. Elizabeth forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She closed her eyes and focused on regulating her breathing. You can do this. Turning back to Henry, she said, "Alright, let's get on with it."

Henry ignored the openly hostile tone that Elizabeth used. He figured he deserved it. Turning into a parking lot, he parked and shifted in his seat to look her in the eye for the first time since she had turned her back on him that afternoon. When she met his gaze,he gasped. The walls were back. The ones that had taken him 11 months to dismantle. He'd forgotten the hollow look she had when they first met. "Oh God! No, no, no! I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like this again. Never!"

"Look Henry, I get it. There are some things that just aren't meant to be. It was really good while it lasted. I hope that someday my memories of us will provide comfort. But, you need to go look for a Catholic girl that your family will like and it will be so much easier." She turned away from him. " Now, you can take me back and I'll call a cab to take me to the bus station. I'm sure I can catch-"

"Elizabeth!" Henry shouted. Elizabeth whipped around ready to lay into him. He put his hand up, and spoke softly, desperation in his voice, "Stop! Please, please just stop." Much to Henry's surprise, she did. She just looked at him and then dropped her gaze. "I have so much to apologize for, but what pains me the most is that you think I wouldn't want you. There is no other woman for me and I am so sorry that i made you feel in some way less or undesirable. When I didn't seem thrilled about Fr. Tony's suggestion of marriage, it wasn't because I don't want to marry you. It was because I was afraid you would think it was too soon and I didn't want to push you." Henry reached out to take her hand and she didn't resist, which he took to be a good sign.

"Now about the other stuff. I have no excuse. I manipulated the situation, and you, for my own pleasure. I don't even understand how I rationalized it, because looking at it now, I can see how completely wrong it was. I was a self-righteous, hypocritical, asshole. I violated your trust. I am sorry, for that and for ever letting you believe that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you. When I promised that you would never be alone again, I've never been more serious in my life. Henry pulled Elizabeth's hands to his cheek and held them there for a moment before kissing them and returning them to her lap.

There was a long period of silence as both of them processed their thoughts. Finally, Elizabeth spoke, "If I'm really honest with myself, I knew we went further than we were supposed to that first time, and I kept pushing to see what the line would be. When you had no plans of stopping, I knew I should. When nothing further was said, I told myself that you had backed off your original stance and we were fine. I knew in my heart that wasn't the case, but since the outcome benefitted me, I said nothing and that was wrong too. If we can't count on being honest with each other about everything, then married life will be very difficult."

"So you're saying there's still hope?" She gave him a questioning look. "That someday you'll be Mrs. McCord?"

"Yeah I think you can count on it!" Elizabeth leaned in and Henry tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her to him. Foreheads met, then noses and finally lips. His tongue slipped past hers as it explored her mouth. She pulled back a bit and mumbled, "I didn't think I would get this opportunity again."

"I know. Me neither," he murmured pulling her back into the kiss.

Thank you God they both thought before they were consumed by thoughts of each other.

Henry and Elizabeth walked through the front door, holding hands about an hour after dinner. Patrick looked up from the newspaper and raised his eyebrows, "It was nice that you let your mother know that you wouldn't be here for dinner." He glanced at Elizabeth, "Of course you are probably used to the servants keeping your food warm for whenever you decide to show up. You won't find that here."

"I certainly would never expect that. I'll go apologize right now." She pulled away from Henry's tensing body. She could tell he was beyond irritated with the exchange, but she had no desire to get into any sort of argument with Patrick McCord. Sticking her head into the kitchen, she found MaryHelen drying the last drainer full of dishes. "Here, let me finish those for you," Elizabeth said pulling the pie plate and dish towel from MaryHelen's hands. "I'm sorry we are late. We were talking and time got away from us. We should've let you know."

"It's no trouble really." she said. "I actually figured you wouldn't make it back in time, considering it was pretty close to dinnertime when you left." MaryHelen paused, "Did Patrick say something?"

"He mentioned it, but really it was not a big deal." Elizabeth obviously skipped the dig at her, even though she could have told him they never had servants, now her aunt and uncle-that was a different story.

"That man, I swear," MaryHelen huffed. "Anyway, are you two better? You look like you feel better about things."

"Yes, we are. And thank you. For everything. I know I'm probably not exactly the person you envisioned Henry bringing home, but you've been very accepting and wonderful regardless."

"Hogwash Elizabeth! All I've ever wanted is for my kids to be good, happy people. I have always known Henry is a good person, but I can see how happy you make him. That's all I need."

Elizabeth smiled, Good. I'm glad"

Henry sat down across from his father when Elizabeth went into the kitchen. "You know, it doesn't matter how hateful you are to Elizabeth, you'll never get a rise out of her." Patrick didn't shift his gaze from the TV. "Knowing you, you probably read that as some sort of weakness, but I can assure you it's not. It's actually the opposite. She could shut you down in a heartbeat if she wanted to, but she won't because you are my father and she will always give you the utmost respect even if you don't deserve it. I'm letting you know that if I ever hear you say anything about Elizabeth like I heard today it will be the last time I ever see or speak to you. She's here to stay, so you had better get used to it."

Henry got up and headed upstairs. He heard his father mutter under his breath, "Looks like someone finally grew a pair." He decided that was probably as close to agreement as he was going to get.

Tossing and turning, Henry decided to give up on sleep and go downstairs to read. From the top of the stairs, he could see that the lamp was already on in the living room. He walked down thinking that his mom had left the light on for Maureen when she came home. He found Elizabeth laying on the couch reading instead. "Hey there beautiful. What are you doing up?"

"I was having trouble falling asleep and then Maureen came home and I just wasn't in a place where I thought I could handle dealing with her, so I just left. "How about you? Can't sleep either?"

"No, too much going on in my head. I can't turn it off."

"Like what, baby?" She scooted down and motioned for him to slide in behind her. He fixed the throw pillows behind him and leaned back. Elizabeth leaned back against his chest. He close his eyes and inhaled the scent of her shampoo and kissed the top of her head.

"Just everything that happened today. So many things that changed the way I think. I guess I'm trying to process it all. Oh, I meant to ask you about your conversation with Mrs. Montgomery. What was that all about?"

"Ha! Maggie was a hoot! It was definitely an odd conversation, but very well timed."

"What do you mean?"

"We'll start with how she told me that I should hang on to you because you are good looking."

"Oh stop! She did not!"

"Yes she did! I swear!" Elizabeth tipped her head back to grin at him. "She also gave me her opinion on today's dating and marriage scene. How people don't value marriage. They just have sex and live together and if they do get married, they get divorced anyway."

"Seriously, she did not tell you all that in church."

"Yes she did. I told you it was weird!"

"She also threw out that in her day people got married young because they wanted to have sex or they were and were afraid of getting caught. But the really interesting thing she said was that all of the girls she knew were married young and they were all still married except for a couple whose husbands were killed in the World War II."

"Are you too young to be married?"

"I thought so."

"Thought?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I do see that she has a point. But it's scary, you know?"

"Yes, it is. But I can't think of another person I would want to be scared with."

"Hmmm, I love you Henry." Elizabeth tilted her head up to look at Henry.

"And I love you Elizabeth." Henry lowered his head and kissed her softly


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Sunday morning, MaryHelen came rushing down the stairs to get breakfast started and was stopped at the bottom by the sight before her. Henry and Elizabeth were asleep together on the couch. MaryHelen smiled to herself and walked over and ruffled Henry's hair. "Wake up, hon! You had better get up before everyone comes downstairs."

Henry opened his eyes and tried to regain his bearings. Figuring out where he was, he looked up at his mom, who was already on her way out of the room. "Mom," she turned to look at him, "thanks." MaryHelen smiled and headed on into the kitchen.

"Hey babe, wake up." Henry said, kissing the top of Elizabeth's head and gently shaking her shoulder.

"No, not yet." Elizabeth mumbled as she turned into Henry's chest, snuggling back down.

"No really. We have to get up. We're in the living room. Everyone will be coming down soon." He gave her a squeeze and tried pushing her up, but no such luck. Henry chuckled to himself. Elizabeth was definitely not a morning person. He decided to try to extricate himself from her and leave her there. He needed to get ready for Mass and he doubted she would join them, so it wasn't really necessary for her to be up.

He pushed her up off of his chest and tried to pull his leg up and around her. He thought he might have accidentally kicked her in the head, but she seemed not to notice. He rolled off the couch and let her fall back on the pillows. Elizabeth just rolled over with her face to the back of the couch. Henry grabbed the afghan off of the back of the chair next to him and covered her up and went upstairs to get ready.

As the other family members finished getting ready, they came downstairs one by one to grab a bite to eat. It wasn't until Maureen came down that anyone even remembered that Elizabeth was in the house. "Where's Queen Elizabeth?" Maureen asked when she entered the kitchen. "She didn't sleep in our room last night." Looking around from person to person, Maureen stare stopped with Shane, "Any extra guests in your room last night?"

"Oh for Pete's sake Maureen, stop stirring the pot. No, there were no extra guests in my room." Of course he did conveniently omit that Henry wasn't in his room either.

"Maureen," MaryHelen stared her down. "I'm not sure what your problem is, but you need to get over it. I will not tolerate any more of your snottiness to MY guest. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." Maureen hung her head.

"Seems like you've taken a liking to the Queen." Patrick said to MaryHelen and smirked.

"So help me God, Patrick McCord, you need to stop too." MaryHelen was exasperated with both of them. "Maybe we should leave early so a couple of you can make it to Confession before Mass." She raised her eyebrows at both Patrick and Maureen.

Henry came rushing downstairs and grinned when he saw that Elizabeth still hadn't moved from the spot he left her. He went on into the kitchen and picked up a couple slices of bacon and some toast. "Are we about ready to leave?" he asked the group.

"Will Elizabeth be joining us this morning?" his mother asked.

"No, she isn't," he stated matter of factly, hoping that his somewhat forceful manner would shut down any discussion. Unfortunately, his father was looking to argue.

"Everyone who stays in my house goes to Mass when we go to Mass," he said.

"Uh dad, when Jerry stayed here at Thanksgiving, he didn't go to Mass because he wasn't Catholic," Shane threw out. Henry made a mental note to thank him later. Patrick paused and almost said something but blew a long breath out instead and got up and walked out of the house to start the car.

"Shane, you can ride with me. You want to go start the car? I'm going to tell Elizabeth we're leaving."

Shane went out the door and Henry went into the living room. He sat on the edge of the couch next the Elizabeth and nudged her. "Babe, wake up."

"Hmmm, Henry, what do you want?" she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"I'm just letting you know we are leaving for Mass. You are home alone for the next hour and a half or so."

"Ok, see you soon."

"Love you" and he planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah, I like you alright too."

After Mass, the McCord family walked outside and ran into Maggie Montgomery. "Why hello McCords. You all are looking mighty fine today. Where may I ask is your Elizabeth? "

The question was obviously directed at Henry, but Maureen popped up with, "She wouldn't come with us. She's not even Catholic."

"I don't think we'll hold that against her. Lovely young lady she is. Please, Henry, do tell her I inquired about her."

Henry nodded, "I will definitely do that Mrs. Montgomery. She told me about you conversation yesterday. She is fond of you as well."

Mrs. Montgomery smiled and then turned her attention to Maureen, leaned closer to her and spoke in a low voice, "Honey, hateful isn't a good look on you. Let's work on speaking the positive, shall we?"

"Of course, Mrs. Montgomery," Maureen turned red and Henry wasn't sure if it was blushing or fury that caused it. Either way, he worked hard to keep a straight face.

After everyone had left, Elizabeth got up, straightened the couch and folded the afghan. She took a shower and went and cleaned up the few dishes that were left out from everyone's breakfast, and ate a little something herself. Trying to figure out if there was something else she could do to be helpful, she didn't see anything specific to do, so she sat down with her book and waited.

It was about 20 minutes later when everyone came bursting through the kitchen door. Henry wasted no time in shedding his coat and making his way to Elizabeth. "Hey babe," he said as he stole a quick kiss. "What have you been up to?"

"Not much. Just showered and cleaned a few things up. I sat down a few minutes ago to read, but I didn't get very far. How was Mass?"

"It was good. Mrs. Montgomery asked about you?"

"Oh she did not."

"She absolutely did and even asked for you by name." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and remained there. "You must have left quite an impression!" he laughed against her.

"I make an impression with all of the people I meet," Elizabeth said as she turned her head quickly and their lips met.

"That you do, babe!"

"Let's go see what we can do to help your mom." Elizabeth stood up and Henry followed.

"Go on ahead. I'm going to run upstairs and change."

"Aww, I like you in a tie," Elizabeth pulled it so that he came close to her and she kissed him again.

"I am handsome, aren't I?"

Elizabeth giggled, "Oh yes, handsome and modest!"

Elizabeth went into the kitchen, "What can I do to help?" she asked MaryHelen.

"Hey there. We are just snacking this afternoon while we decorate the tree. Can you get the big platter out of the bottom cabinet over there? We can put the deli meat and cheese on it. By the way, Maggie Montgomery inquired about you this morning. I'm not sure how you two came to meet, but she quite fancies you."

"Henry told me. It's funny really. She recruited me to help her dust the woodwork yesterday while Henry was talking to Fr. Tony. She is a very interesting person for sure. Tree decorating, really?" Elizabeth's smile covered her face. "Would it be ok if I help decorate? That's something I've really missed."

"Of course you can. It's expected. You are welcome to go and help pick out the tree too if you want. I usually let Patrick and the kids go. I stay home and pop the popcorn to string." MaryHelen stopped and it took her a second to realize what Elizabeth meant. "How long has it been?"

"This will be the seventh Christmas. My mom loved to string popcorn. The Christmas when I was 13, I threw some sort of ridiculous fti about not wanting to help Mom string the popcorn because it was boring. She did it herself and every year I think back to that and wonder why I was so selfish. I guess life is full of those 'if I had only known' moments."

"You didn't do Christmas stuff with your aunt and uncle?"

"Gosh no! They aren't Christmas people. They usually go on a cruise or travel abroad just so they don't have to mess with it. After the first couple years, it wasn't so bad. I got used to it."

"Traveling over Christmas?" MaryHelen inquired.

"Ha! No, they would've never considered taking me with them. I meant staying at school by myself. My brother, Will, was always the really outgoing one, so he got invitations to stay with friends. I didn't have many friends really, so I just stayed at school. Quiet can be a good and a bad thing." All of a sudden, Elizabeth realized the mood was way too heavy, "So, anyway, I'm excited to be 'doing Christmas' again. Do you think this is enough?" She lifted the tray of meat and cheese she had been arranging to show MaryHelen.

"That's look great dear." MaryHelen said turning back to the window quickly, hoping Elizabeth didn't see the tears in her eyes.

Going to the Christmas tree farm was everything Elizabeth hoped it would be. It was crazy and loud as arguments broke out between Shane and Maureen and Erin and Henry about which tree would be best and why. They finally picked one they could all sort of agree upon and Shane cut it down while Henry and Patrick held it for him. They had the branches bound and the boys tied it to the top of the car. As they were getting in to go home, Henry caught her and whispered, "Are you doing ok? You haven't said a word."

"I'm just so happy, that's all." He gave her a quick squeeze and helped her into the car before piling in after.

Back at the house, MaryHelen had mounds of popcorn popped with needles and string ready to go. While the guys got the tree in the stand, the girls all sat down in the living room, each with a bowl of popcorn and started stringing. There were arguments about which way the tree should face, if any limbs needed to be trimmed, if the tree was centered in the front window and on and on. Elizabeth lost track of how many times the McCords yelled at each other about things that didn't really matter. But it all seemed to be in good fun. No one was actually mad. Elizabeth decided they just liked yelling at each other.

At some point, Henry and Shane disappeared and they returned carrying large cardboard boxes. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS was neatly printed on the side of each box. The boys put them down in the middle of the floor and opened the flaps. "This one has the lights." Shane said as he opened the third box.

"That's our cue." Maureen elbowed Erin and they hopped up to take the light strings and plug them in, changing bulbs as needed. Once they had everything working, they started putting the lights on the tree. At about the 7 foot mark, they could no longer reach and had Patrick help them to the last couple loops around the tree.

Henry was digging around in the boxes. He looked up at Elizabeth, "Babe, could you grab the step stool out of the pantry?

"Sure thing," she said, shifting the popcorn off of her lap. Bringing it into the living room, she handed it to Patrick. He looked like he might have something to say to her, but was unusually silent. He set it up next to the tree and stepped up the couple of steps. Henry handed him the star. Patrick took a minute to plug it into the end of the string of lights and then arranged it on top of the tree.

"Girls," MaryHelen called, "get the popcorn strings and lets get those on." While all three girls put the popcorn strings around the tree, MaryHelen pulled a Christmas album out of the stack and put it on the stereo. They stepped back to look at the tree when the music started wafting through the room.

There was talking and laughing and the tree was gorgeous. All of a sudden, Elizabeth, who had been going along just fine, became very overwhelmed. "Excuse me," she muttered as she backed away from the tree and headed to the bathroom. Tears were flowing freely by the time she got the door closed behind her. She fell back against the door and slid to the floor crying. She tried to think through her emotions, but there were so many it was hard to sort them out.

After a few minutes, there was a soft knock on the door. "Elizabeth?" Henry asked, "Are you ok?" She stood up to let him in. "Hey, what's wrong?" Henry pulled her to him and held her. He just waited, knowing that she would tell him in her own time.

"Sit," she directed, pointing to the edge of the bathtub. She joined him. "Henry, really, I'm fine. I think I'm just having an overload of stimuli. I haven't had any sort of Christmas in 7 years. No tree, no decorations, no music, no people, no noise, nothing. I think your family is so full of life that it's just too much in this moment." Elizabeth paused and reflected for a moment. "That and I'm sad for all the times that never were. Does that make any sense?"

"Of course it does babe. I won't pretend to understand how you feel, but I do know that I find my family overwhelming and I've lived with them my whole life. I honestly cannot imagine going from silence to this madhouse. It's surprising you haven't tore your hair out."

Elizabeth laughed, "Thank you for always being so understanding. I know I'm a mess and I'm sorry you are always having to piece me back together."

"Whoa! Stop! Never be sorry for how you react to situations. You've had a difficult set of challenges, but those same challenges are the ones that made you the woman I fell in love with. I'll never consider you a mess."

"Let me splash my face with water and we'll get back out there. I heard Erin say they were going to put ornaments on the tree next. I'm not going to miss checking out the popsicle stick ornament you made for your mom when you were in kindergarten!"

"It's definitely a work of art." Henry said and laughed


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next week was filled with Christmas cookie baking, shopping, wrapping and Scrabble, lots of Scrabble. She and Henry played every afternoon together and as part of teams with his family in the evening. Though she would never admit it, even Maureen was impressed with Elizabeth's Scrabble abilities. Wednesday evening, they were picking teams and Maureen said, "I call Elizabeth." Elizabeth tried to hide her surprise, but willingly agreed. Of course, Maureen followed it up with "Yeah, it appears rich girls have bigger vocabularies,"

Elizabeth just rolled her eyes adding, "And they spell better!" eliciting a good laugh from Erin and Shane. The two girls trounced the others and Elizabeth swore Maureen smiled. It was a small victory.

Since the Saturday night they had unintentionally fallen asleep on the couch together, she and Henry had been sneaking down to do the same every night since. Both agreed that they slept better together than apart. After everyone fell asleep, they left their respective rooms and met on the couch. They talked long into the night about a lot of different topics. They spent quite a bit of time talking about how they were going to manage to keep the integrity of no their premarital sex promise. Rules were set and agreed to by both. Kissing is allowed, clothes stay on, touching is fine but only through clothes. They also talked about things they could do to feel closer physically without sex. They had always been a touchy-feely couple, but now holding hands, hugs, and sitting closely were all given higher meaning instead of being a precursor to more sexual touching. New activities like neck and foot massages were frequent occurrences. When Erin offhandedly mentioned that Henry used to braid her and Maureen's hair, Elizabeth asked him to do it almost every evening. She loved the feeling of Henry's hands in her hair.

Thursday evening, Henry was putting Dutch braids in her hair. Her mind was wandering and she thought about how lucky their girls would be to have Henry for a father. It wasn't many dads who could do hair. She blushed at her own thought of imagining having children with Henry. Suddenly being married with children didn't seem as far off as it once had.

Later that night, they were talking on the couch before they fell asleep. Henry had been thinking about something for a while and wasn't sure how to bring it up. Of course, his facial expression was enough to make Elizabeth ask. "What are you thinking about? It looks serious."

"Well it's twofold really, and I'm not even sure how to ask." Henry rubbed his chin and sighed.

"Well, you could start by just throwing it out there," Elizabeth offered.

"Well, we've talked ad nauseum about what I believe as part of my faith, but we haven't really talked about what you believe. I know a lot about your experiences, but not specifically what your beliefs are."

"Hmmm, ok. Well I don't know that I have a lot to say. I try to be a good person and care about others. I won't deny the existence of God, but I sure haven't felt God's presence in my life. Believe me, I've wanted it. But, that was in the past. It's not something I need or even want now."

"Does it aggravate you that I do?" Henry asked her. But that wasn't the question he really wanted to ask. He just wasn't sure how to put the question into words.

"You mean believe in God?" Elizabeth furrowed her brow. "No, why would it? I mean there are lots of things we don't see exactly the same way. I don't treat this any differently."

"I don't think I asked that the right way. Maybe a more accurate question is, does it, or do you think it will bother you when you have to accommodate my religion?"

"You mean like having to wait for you to make love to me?"

"Well that's a definitely a now issue, but I'm thinking about the future too. Like me leaving you to go to weekend Mass or when we have kids, teaching them things that you may not agree with or don't understand."

"Wow, I don't really know. I haven't thought about that. It's probably an asset that I don't have many formed opinions on any specific religion, so I don't necessarily have conflicting views with Catholicism. I do know that I love you and part of who you are is your reliance on your faith. I think I would like our children to have that. That was never cultivated in me. Perhaps if it was, my experiences would have been much different. I do reserve the right to question you on things, because I don't know what will come up, but I will make it a point to always talk it through with you first."

"Of course," Henry was introspective. He caught her gaze and held it. "How much does it bother you that I want to wait?"

"Oh Henry," Elizabeth sighed. "Bother is a really strong word. There are times when it is absolutely fine and then there are times when it is frustrating beyond belief. Patience isn't really my best quality. I do like the way we are able to spend time together. It shows me that you value me as a person and not just what I can give you physically. But, then in the next second, I want you so badly and I'm not able to do anything about it."

"Mom always says patience is a virtue." Henry teased.

"Well today I'm teeming with virtue." Elizabeth replied very seriously. She reached up and cupped Henry's face and kissed him. It was gentle at first, but then he deepened it, tongues sliding against one another, the level of arousal increasing proportionally. Henry pulled her on top of him so she straddled his lap.

His hands were everywhere. "I'm finding myself less virtuous all the time." Elizabeth mumbled as she snapped her head back when Henry massaged her breasts. Reflexively, her hips ground into him craving friction. She buried her head in the crook of his neck. want you so badly. I want to feel this way forever. "Just marry me." It came out in the smallest whisper, barely audible, but the right person heard it and he just smiled and pulled her to his lips and kissed her again.

The next morning they slept much later than they intended. Patrick came down the stairs, saw the couple, grimaced and went back upstairs to the bedroom. MaryHelen was standing at the end of their bed folding a load of laundry. "Take a guess at who's camped out on the couch."

"Oh, I have a decent idea," she commented, having already woken Henry up on two previous occasions that week.

"What are we going to do about it?"

"I'm pretty sure, WE aren't going to do anything about it." MaryHelen turned and eyed Patrick. "What is it exactly that you don't like about Elizabeth? She's smart and kind, helpful, not to mention beautiful, and she loves Henry enough to put up with you."

"She isn't one of us." he stated simply.

"What's that even supposed to mean? That she probably has more money than you do? Right. Because her parents had to die for that money. We have decent life insurance. Our kids would be better off financially if we were dead. Do you actually think they would wish us dead so they could have some money? I guarantee Elizabeth would be happy wearing rags and living in a cardboard box if it meant her parents were alive." MaryHelen was beyond exasperated with him.

"She isn't Catholic."

"Neither was I."

"But you converted."

"I did. But what if I hadn't? I was already inquiring about the Faith when I met you. What if I wasn't in that place yet? What if I never got to that place?"

"You did and it was a non-issue."

"You can have that attitude now, but I think back then we would have made it work. Just like Henry and Elizabeth will. Now," MaryHelen said, turning to face him, "this is Henry's life, not yours. You can say what you think needs to be said and then you need to shut up and let him live his life without your judgement." She took two steps toward Patrick and ran her hands up his chest. "I think you will recall that it is hard to live your life with your parents' judgement hanging over your head."

Leaning down, he kissed her tenderly, "I suppose time fades some of that." As he pulled her in and hugged her, his line of sight caught the clock on the nightstand. "Crap! I'm late. I'll see you tonight.' He pecked her on the lips and was off racing down the stairs. On his way through the living room, he glanced at the two kids sleeping tangled together on the couch. He remembered a time when he and MaryHelen were caught on the couch by his parents, although they were in a much more compromising position. He smirked and walked out the door


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

When Henry and Elizabeth finally woke, the whole house was buzzing around them. Elizabeth sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?" She asked sleepily.

"Almost 10. It's about time. We have things to do today," Maureen said. She was still not conversational, but her tone was nicer than it had ever been before. Elizabeth hopped up off the couch, giving Henry a shove.

"Hey there sleepyhead! It's 10 o'clock." Turning to Maureen as she started toward the stairs, she said, "Just give me a minute and I'll be right back down. What are we doing anyway?"

"Making up plates of cookies to deliver around the neighborhood," Maureen said as she walked through the kitchen door.

Elizabeth was back downstairs ten minutes later, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a UVA sweatshirt, jeans and tennis shoes. She was headed into the kitchen to help when she saw that Henry was still sleeping on the couch. She sat down beside him and started planting light kisses to his forehead and down his nose. He stirred slightly and she said, "Henry, you have to get up. Seriously, it's late." He opened his eyes and smiled at her. "It's 10. Shane said it snowed last night and you need to help him shovel sidewalks."

"It's 10, really? How come no one woke us? Oh I bet I'll hear about it from Dad. I'm surprised he didn't yell this morning when he went to work."

"Maybe he didn't notice us?" Elizabeth offered, shrugging. "Look I'm going to help your mom and sisters. You need to get going before Shane gets annoyed.." She kissed him on the cheek and pushed up off the couch and headed to the kitchen.

Elizabeth was shocked at the number of plates and tins there were, already filled with all of the various cookie varieties they had been baking since Monday. "Where are all of these going?" she asked.

MaryHelen smiled, "Oh, lots of places. Neighbors, the shut-ins from church, the rectory, some friends in our old neighborhood, a few local nursing homes and then we'll see what's left."

"Wow! What a nice thing to do! I'm sure everyone appreciates it. What can I do to help?"

Erin handed her the stack of plates. "You can set out the next round of plates since I think we used all of the cookie tins. Then we take a bag of each kind of cookie and put a couple or maybe three on every plate. When the plate is full, we cover them with plastic wrap and put a bow and a gift tag on it."

"Sounds easy enough." Elizabeth started laying rows of plates out on the kitchen table, then grabbed the bag of peanut butter cookies and started dispersing them. By the time the three girls were finished, each plate had chocolate chip cookies, iced sugar cookies, peanut blossoms, spritz cookies, peanut butter cookies, snickerdoodles, divinity and fudge. They repeated the process another three times. Elizabeth wasn't even sure that she had ever met as many people as the McCords had cookies for.

They filled several cardboard boxes with the plates and tins and put them in the trunk of the car. They returned to the house to fix some lunch before starting deliveries.

The boys came in shortly after lunch was set on the table. They were cold and snowy but reported that most of the sidewalks had been cleared and all but two of the older neighbors had their cars cleaned off and driveways shoveled in case they needed to get out. "Thank you boys," MaryHelen said, "I know it means a lot to our neighbors that you will help them out."

"We're going to go upstairs and wash up, then we'll be down to get lunch." Henry told the group. Elizabeth went ahead and fixed plates for herself and Henry and went to sit at the dining room table.

Henry returned a few minutes later and joined her. "Thanks for fixing me some lunch. I'm starving!"

"Well, we did miss breakfast."

Henry smiled, "That we did. I'd much rather spend my time snuggled up with you any day."

"Even if there is snoring involved?"

"Of course Dear! I promised I wouldn't bring up your snoring!" Henry teased.

"Me, snore? I don't think so," Elizabeth countered and then laughed. "Ok, we may both snore occasionally."

At some point, Maureen and Shane joined them followed by Erin and MaryHelen a few minutes later. They talked about the weather and the upcoming cookie deliveries. MaryHelen was concerned that the streets in certain areas might not be cleared yet and didn't want to take a chance on getting stuck. Henry and Shane assured them that all of the streets locally were clear and it wouldn't be a problem.

At the end of lunch, Elizabeth volunteered to clean the table while Shane and Henry got ready to go shovel the last few driveways. The girls went upstairs to change clothes and get ready for deliveries. Since no one had specifically invited Elizabeth to go along for deliveries, she just planned on staying back and maybe doing a load of her laundry. However, when MaryHelen came downstairs, she shooed Elizabeth up immediately saying that of course she was going with them.

Within a few minutes, they were all ready to head out. They started with the neighbors closest to them. Making their way to the church rectory, they dropped off a big platter for the staff there and picked up a list of parishioners that were homebound. Maureen mapped out the best way to make sure they hit all of those houses. At each house, they stopped and spent a few minutes saying hello and checking to see if they had any other needs. MaryHelen had a notepad that she made notes on before heading to the next house. Everyone was very nice and Elizabeth couldn't count the number of times, people told her how lucky she was to have landed Henry. It started as a little embarrassing and ended up as quite comical. It seemed that everyone in the over 70 crowd thought that Henry was a hot commodity!

When they finally made their way back home, they found that Henry and Shane had started dinner. The girls were told to put their feet up while the boys cooked. They happily obliged. Elizabeth found herself unable to stay out of the kitchen for very long though. She loved to watch Henry cook. Everything he made was delicious and he always made it look easy. Tonight they were making chicken fettuccine alfredo. Shane had the pasta going and Henry was grating Parmesan to whisk into the cream sauce. Henry looked over his shoulder and saw Elizabeth watching him. He smiled and motioned her over. She wrapped an arm around his waist and he put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her close. "How was your day babe?"

"It was fun. I met tons of ladies who are members of your cult following."

"Oh really. Who would they be?"

"I truthfully lost track of all the names, but I would guess the average age to be about 75." She poked him in the ribs causing him to try and squirm away.

"You're very funny!" Henry smirked at her.

"Actually I think it's adorable. And they all told me how lucky I am. It was sweet." She went on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Do you want help with anything?"

"Actually there is some lettuce in the fridge. I already washed it, but it needs to be torn up for a salad."

"Will do. Is this bowl ok?" Elizabeth asked holding up a bowl that was sitting on the counter.

"Perfect," Henry said.

Dinner was exceptional and everyone left the table stuffed. Erin and Maureen volunteered to do clean up, so Elizabeth went to sit down in the living room, but Henry grabbed her and asked her to join him upstairs.

When she stepped into the bedroom he shared with Shane, Henry spun her around against the door, pushing it closed. "Henr-" she started, but he pressed his lips to hers. He pushed his tongue into her mouth causing her to moan into him. When he pulled back, Elizabeth gasped for air. "What was that all about? she grinned at him.

"I missed you today," he said simply.

"I missed you too." She planted kisses to his neck and pulled his head down and ran her tongue along Henry's jaw, sucking on his earlobe. He sucked in a shaky breath. The fact that she had such an effect on him was a real turn on. "I want you so much."

"I know. Me too." His eyes were clouded with both love and desire. He kissed her again while he slid both hands under her butt and lifted her, pinning her between the door and himself. He lifted her high enough that she locked her legs around his ribs. Elizabeth let out a little squeal when he bit her nipple through her shirt.

"Oh god Henry, you've got to stop." She tried to collect herself. "We have to go back down in a few minutes, and I can't be looking like this."

Henry looked up at her. Her cheeks were flushed a rosy pink, her lips-red and swollen, a line of perspiration forming at her hairline. He felt her chest heaving to attain enough air. He smiled, "You know I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world." Henry loosened his grip and let her slide down the door until she was on her feet. He kissed her gently. "This isn't even the real reason I brought you up here. I just couldn't help myself though." He grinned against her cheek as he held her close.

"So what's the real reason, Mr. Easily Distracted?" Elizabeth ran her hands up his chest all the way up into his hair, pulling his head down to kiss her again.

"I was just going to let you know that the whole family always goes to Midnight Mass and I want to make sure you know you are welcome to join us."

"I'll think about it. I'm a lot less apprehensive than I was a few months ago, but I'm also really nervous about being stuck someplace that I'm uncomfortable and having no way to leave."

"Ok, no worries. Just an invitation. It's something that I would like to share with you, because it is a big part of who I am. But it doesn't have to be tomorrow. Although perhaps before our wedding day would be good."

"Yeah, probably." Elizabeth laid her head on Henry's chest and listened to his heartbeat. "We should go downstairs before they send a search and rescue team."

"Yeah, probably," he agreed and continued to hold her close, not moving. It wasn't even 30 seconds and the knock came at the door. They both laughed.

Elizabeth took a step away from the door and opened it. Erin stood in the doorway with her hand over her eyes. "Mom says you need to either have the door open or come downstairs." Elizabeth and Henry laughed harder.

"Take your hand down," Elizabeth said giggling as she took hold of Erin's wrist pulling her hand. "Nothing is going on." Then looking at Henry, she leaned in and whispered, "You may need to go wipe the lipstick off of your neck. Am I ok?"

"You're gorgeous!" he breathed out almost inaudibly as he kissed her cheek. The blush rolled over her entire body. She pulled away from him.

"I'm going downstairs now. You need to behave yourself!"


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Saturday morning, Elizabeth came downstairs to find MaryHelen sitting at the dining room table with her notepad from the day before. "Good morning," Elizabeth said on her way into the kitchen where she fixed herself a bowl of cereal and returned to the table. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Of course dear," MaryHelen scooted a pile of paper to the side to make room for Elizabeth to sit next to her. As Elizabeth sat down, MaryHelen reached an arm out and hugged her. "How are you doing? You've been here, what, ten days? Are we driving you crazy yet?"

Elizabeth laughed, "Of course not. I've had a great time. A couple of times it was a little overwhelming, but that's just me. It has nothing to do with you. I really enjoyed yesterday. I've never done anything quite like that before. It was very uplifting to see the people's reactions. You could tell that for some of them, we were the only Christmas visitors they would have. Beautiful and eye opening at the same time. Hopefully I can talk Henry into coming back, maybe for Easter, to visit again, that is if I haven't overstayed my welcome with this trip."

"Never, Dear! You are always welcome for as long as you want. I think that's a great idea. Let's plan on it."

"Great!" Elizabeth changed direction. "What are you working on?"

"Yesterday I made a list of the things that people mentioned needing when we visited. Since most of the people are on a limited income, I always compile a list and take it to the ladies' group at church. We try to take care of as much of it as we can to help them live in their own as long as possible. Seems like this year's list is pretty long."

"More projects than money?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's usually the way these things work. It always works out though. I've found that God always provides." MaryHelen went back to her list and Elizabeth took her breakfast dishes back into the kitchen and washed the few things that were in the sink.

When the kitchen was cleaned up, Elizabeth went upstairs and gathered her clothes to run a load of laundry. After that task was started, she walked back through the downstairs to get her book off of the table. MaryHelen has left her notepad laying on top of her stack. $5,000 was circled at the bottom of a long list. "Wow!" Elizabeth said under her breath, "That is a lot of money." She went on her way wondering how a group of church ladies went about raising $5,000.

Her mind still on MaryHelen's list, Elizabeth passed by the window and glanced out. Henry, Shane and Patrick were cutting up a downed tree in the backyard. Not having anything to be doing right then, Elizabeth decided to go down and offer to help. She quickly slipped on her jeans, sweatshirt and hiking boots. Grabbing her coat from downstairs, she headed outside. "Do you all want some help," she asked as she crossed the backyard.

"Sure babe," Henry answered. "You can grab some gloves out of the garden shed over there and start picking up limbs." Elizabeth returned a minute later pulling a pair of leather gloves on. "Put the limbs on that trailer over there."

Elizabeth immediately got to work picking up smaller limbs while Shane and Henry took the bigger pieces and Patrick ran the chain saw. It took about an hour to get everything cleaned up. Toward the end Elizabeth went to the shed and grabbed a leaf rake and gathered the smaller pieces in a pile. She caught Patrick looking at her. Smiling she said, "Running twigs through your mower shortens the life of your mower blades." Patrick raised his eyebrows at her and she shrugged. "I worked a couple of summers in lawn care." Elizabeth skipped over the fact that she hung around her aunt and uncle's gardeners to have something to do in the summers so she didn't have to be stuck in the house with her aunt.

"Thanks for your help babe," Henry said as he hugged her. "Let's go in and get a snack."

"A snack? I'm starving." Elizabeth said, the bowl of cereal having worn off long ago.

"It's Christmas Eve. We'll eat dinner early. I promise."

"I guess I'll just have to make do." Elizabeth giggled.

Coming inside, the group cleaned up and each grabbed half a sandwich and some chips. Sitting down, they started discussing plans for the evening. MaryHelen stepped into the room having overheard the conversation and said "The food will be put out around 4. Eat what you want when you want." Presents at 8, leave for Mass at 11. The rest is up to you."

The group scattered leaving Elizabeth, Henry and Patrick at the table. Henry stepped away from the table to get something out of the kitchen. Elizabeth could feel Patrick's eyes on her but wasn't sure if she should make eye contact or not. She was very much aware that he didn't care for her and was certain that there wasn't much she could do to make him like her. So she sat trying to decide her next move when he spoke, "I read people pretty well. I had you pegged as the rich girl slumming with the poor kid until someone better came along." She snapped her head up, staring him down with fire in her eyes, but she didn't have the opportunity say a word. He continued, "I may have jumped to that conclusion prematurely." With that, he rose from the table and walked away.

Elizabeth looked a little shell-shocked when Henry returned from the kitchen. "Are you alright?" Henry stopped for a second and realized he had left her alone with his father, he asked accusingly, "What did he say?"

Elizabeth looked at Henry and a smile broke out across her face. "I think your Dad just apologized for his inaccurate assumptions about me." Albeit in the most convoluted, backwards way I can imagine. She looked at Henry who looked just as stunned at the revelation as she did." And based on his original assessment of me, I had nowhere to go but up."

Later, Elizabeth was in the laundry room taking her clothes out of the dryer when MaryHelen walked in with another load. "Here let me," Elizabeth popped open the washing machine and started tossing the wet clothes in the dryer to make room for the next load.

"Thank you." MaryHelen chucked the basket of clothes up in the small counter that was next to the washing machine. "Hey, while I have you alone, I've been meaning to talk to you something."

"Sure," Elizabeth responded, trying to keep the apprehension out of her voice. "What's up?"

"I would like you to consider going to Mass with us tonight." MaryHelen caught the little hitch in Elizabeth's breathing, although she covered it well. "I know that it would be outside of your comfort zone, but I'd like you to do it anyway-for me."

Elizabeth's stomach twisted in knots, not specifically because of the request, she had already seriously considered going. She was taken aback by the fact that it was MaryHelen's appeal. "Can I ask why?"

"Well, it's a couple of things really. The first is really kind of vain on my part, but I'm proud of my family and Midnight Mass is about the only time anymore when everyone is together for our church family to see them.

"I'm not sure what that has to do with me though." Elizabeth queried, genuinely curious.

"Are you even being serious?" MaryHelen laughed out loud. "Do you know how many girlfriends Henry has had?"

"Not the exact number. Not too many."

"You are number 4. The first two were gone before I even knew they existed, and I heard number 3's name but never met her. Elizabeth, he's been with you almost a year and he brought you home willingly-for more than a day trip. Whether you realize it or not Dear, you're a McCord for the long haul."

Elizabeth smiled. She hoped that was the case. Time would tell. "So what's the other reason?"

"Uh, ok, so if my first reason makes me vain and the second is going to make me look nuts."

"That's comforting." Elizabeth smirked.

MaryHelen chuckled. "I had a dream-about you." Elizabeth cocked her head to the side, wondering where this could be going. "In this dream, you were searching for something. I don't know what it was, but you found it at church. It's weird I know, but I figured I should at least try to get you there in case the dream was more than me being nuts."

"Truthfully, I'm leaning toward you being crazy, but I'll go-because you asked." MaryHelen's smile covered her face. She reached out and pulled Elizabeth to her and hugged her tight.

"I'm not sure if you knew it or not, but my son has excellent taste in women."

Elizabeth blushed, "I would say he had a pretty good example of what to look for." She left the room to head back upstairs, smiling to herself.

Henry met Elizabeth in the hallway and took the basket from her. "What have you been up to?"

She looked at him and looked at the basket of laundry, "I was building a replica of the Eiffel Tower out of toothpicks."

"Smart ass!" he said as he rolled his eyes.

"You like it," she flirted back. "You can sit that at the end of the bed if you want. You can help me pick out what to wear."

"You look good as you are, babe. We're just hanging around the house."

"No I mean something to wear for Mass tonight."

"You're going? Really?" Henry couldn't hide his surprise and a wide smile spread across his face.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it already and then your Mom asked if I would go, so I told her yes, that is, if It's still ok with you."

"Of course."

"So what should I wear?'

"Anything that looks a bit more dressed up. There isn't any kind of specific dress code. What did you bring with you?"

"I have black dress pants and a black skirt and my black boots."

"Go with the skirt. Do you have your blue sweater?"

"Yeah, it's in there somewhere."

Henry's voice dropped into a cadence that was smooth and had a sultry inflection as he spoke, "I want you to wear the blue. It's my favorite. It matches your eyes." He took a step closer so that he was almost on top of her, yet not touching her. "You know, one of the things I find most arousing about you is that you don't comprehend just how beautiful you are."

"Henry, I'm not--" Elizabeth started to protest.

""Oh, but you are," he ground out. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world." Elizabeth could feel the blood rushing to the surface of her skin in waves all over her body, desire pooling in her core.

Elizabeth turned slightly to face him. Henry was staring down at her, his eyes filled with desire. For her. He was so close that she could feel his breath fan down on her face when he exhaled, further increasing the intense pressure building in her, so close to sending her over the edge. She tried to put a coherent thought together as to how she could be this turned on without even being touched, but her brain wouldn't work. She swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment, just long enough to visualize all that she wished would play out. Taking a deep breath and opening her eyes, she saw Henry's eyes boring into her. He raised his hand and Elizabeth shook her head and whispered, "You can not touch me right now." Henry looked shocked and somewhat hurt. "No, baby, please," she swallowed again, wishing she could make her legs take a step back, "it's just that you are so sexy and… and I'm wound so tight right now that if you touch me, I'll come." Taking another deep breath, "That is something I would really like to avoid while in your parents' house, especially while everyone is awake and could potentially walk in at any moment." Henry grinned and started to say something, but Elizabeth cut him off. "As soon as I can make myself move from this spot, I'm going to go take a very long shower and you will not speak of this again." Henry couldn't even begin to contain his amusement, at her expense, and while he didn't touch her, he didn't step away, enjoying the whole scene very much. Finally able to collect her wits enough to take a step, she side-stepped him and reached into the laundry basket grabbing a freshly washed pair of lacy underwear. "I will definitely be needing a new pair of these.

Elizabeth made her way downstairs about an hour later, hair and makeup fixed for the evening, but wearing jeans and t-shirt. Henry was sitting on the couch, plate of food in hand, watching football with Erin, Shane and Patrick. "Hey there! Food's on the kitchen table. You're welcome to join me when you fix your plate." Elizabeth smiled, nodded and headed into the kitchen where she found MaryHelen, Maureen and Maureen's boyfriend, Shawn.

"Hi." she said extending her hand to him, "I'm Elizabeth Adams. Nice to meet you."

"Hi. Shawn Brooks.. Nice to meet you." The group made small talk for a few minutes while Elizabeth fixed her plate. She excused herself and made her way back out to the living room, taking a seat next to Henry.

"Feel better?" he asked her smirking.

"Shut. Up, McCord," Elizabeth muttered under her breath. Henry thought he might have made her mad, but he caught the twinkle in her eye and she smiled slyly.

The evening was one of the best that Elizabeth could remember. Henry sat in the recliner with Elizabeth sitting on the floor between his legs leaning back against it. She took in the scene before her: twinkling lights on the tree, soft music in the background, so many conversations happening all at once. She chuckled to herself as most of the McCords were carrying on multiple conversations at the same time. Oftentimes that lead to shouting across the room to someone while simultaneously speaking in a normal voice to the person next to them. It was loud, yet joyous. It was family. She threaded an arm around Henry's leg and squeezed it laying her head on his knee. Never missing a beat, he swept Elizabeth's hair back and started massaging her neck, while continuing his conversation with Shane about injuries on the Steelers' defensive line and also with MaryHelen about the necessity of taking two vehicles to Mass instead of trying to cram into the station wagon. Elizabeth's heart was full.

Exchanging gifts was fun. They had both decided that they would have Christmas with each other once they returned to school after all of the family travels, so they didn't exchange gifts, but, as was the family tradition, the "kids" had drawn names. Elizabeth was a little apprehensive having drawn Maureen's name, but it ended up being dubbed the best gift of the evening.. She got Maureen a paperback Scrabble dictionary complete with the handwritten note inside the cover that read "how rich girls win at Scrabble." Maureen had found it funny and didn't seem offended. Elizabeth was thankful because she wasn't sure how Maureen would react. They certainly weren't friendly, but there had been sort of a truce called where Maureen wasn't openly hostile to her face anymore, although she was pretty sure that there were no holds barred when she was out of the room. Honestly, Elizabeth thought she could live with that.

"Kids," MaryHelen said, "It's a little after 10. You probably need to start getting ready. We're leaving the house at 11. Evidently in two cars." Elizabeth smirked when she saw Henry's mom eyeing him. MaryHelen rose from her place and headed to the kitchen, Elizabeth followed to help put the food away before they had to leave. Replacing lids and covering platters with plastic wrap, Elizabeth handed MaryHelen the food to put in the refrigerator. There were a few bowls of chips and cookies that could just be put in plastic bags and left on the counter. The two had everything put away within just a few minutes. MaryHelen turned to Elizabeth, "Thank you for your help. Since you are leaving tomorrow, I don't know if I will have an opportunity to say this later," MaryHelen paused for a moment, then continued, "I'm glad I got the chance to spend time with you and get to know you. You are a wonderful woman and a much needed addition to this family and I'm really going to miss having you around. Please, come and visit, and don't feel like you have to bring Henry to have a reason to be here. I'm sure there will be a time in the not so distant future when his unit will be called up. I think we'll need each other while he's gone. You're always welcome here."

Elizabeth willed the tears not to fall, but her voice betrayed her emotions, cracking as she spoke, "Sometimes when you've done without something for so long, you forget what it's even like to have it.The past several days have reminded me what family is and I am very thankful that you allowed me to have a part in it. I would love to come back to visit and I'll try to make that happen sooner than later." She paused, and then added, "Thank you. For everything," Elizabeth leaned into the hug that MaryHelen so willingly offered.

She let go and turned to leave, only to find Patrick leaning in the doorway. He stepped back to allow her to pass through, and as she did, he placed his hand on her shoulder. She stopped, looking up at him. He said, "Yeah, that," and nodded toward MaryHelen. Elizabeth headed toward the stairs and Patrick called after her, "I've got a couple of projects to do in the front yard this spring." She stopped to turn and look at him.

"We've got a week for Spring Break."

"That'll do. You might want to wait to have your nails done. There's manual labor involved.."

She raised her eyebrows and winked at him, "I'll schedule accordingly." Up the stairs she went.

Patrick looked at MaryHelen over his shoulder, "She's going to be a pain in my ass."

MaryHelen just laughed, "I'm counting on it."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: This chapter was much more difficult than I had imagined. It's more disjointed than I would like, but I hope you like it.

Chapter 20

Henry was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Elizabeth came down. He heard her heels before he saw her. Click. Click. Click. Down the stairs. Oh! She has THOSE black boots. The three inch heeled leather knee high boots. The ones that mold themselves to her toned calves. Black pencil skirt only an inch above the knee. Good and proper. Except that it fits like a glove. Definitely good, but not proper. At all. Blue sweater, the hem skimming her hips and clinging to her slim waist, full breasts, delicate shoulders. Golden curls falling past her collarbones. Bright smile, perfect nose and the most gorgeous blue eyes. God, she's hot!

Elizabeth sees that Henry is waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. Black dress shoes, perfectly shined, Slim fit black dress pants, straight seam pressed up the front. Sharp. White button down dress shirt stretched over his toned chest, blue tie-matches my sweater-planned that well, didn't he? Defined jaw, broad smile, twinkling brown eyes, thick brown hair. God, he's hot!

"Hi," Henry said, suddenly a little uncomfortable.

"Hi, yourself," Elizabeth blushed, hoping he wasn't able to read her thoughts. "What time do we need to leave again?"

"We have about 20 minutes."

"Ok, then I'm going to eat a snack," Elizabeth pressed her hand to his chest. "Nice tie by the way."

"You like it?" Henry grinned. "Are you seriously going to eat? We've been eating all night."

"You've been eating all night. I haven't eaten for an hour or maybe even longer."

Henry laughed. "Oh, then by all means," making a grand gesture toward the kitchen. By the time, Henry made it into the kitchen, Elizabeth had a bag of cookies open and was munching on one and had a second in her hand. "Are you nervous?" he asked.

"A little, but I rationally know I'm being silly. It's the irrational part that gets me."

"I could say that about a lot of things. All you have to do is go, sit and listen. There's a lot of stand up, sit down and kneel, but you don't have to do anything but be there. Really your level of participation is whatever you are comfortable with."

"Ok. I think can do that. And I may also find something I'm searching for."

Henry was obviously confused. "What?"

"Your mom. Oh, nevermind, it's silly. I'll tell you later."

"We have time. You can tell me now."

"Part of the reason your Mom asked me to go was because she had this dream that I was searching for something and I found it in church. So I'm going to see both what I'm searching for and if I find it." Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders.

"Ah, I see. A Mom dream. She's got a pretty good track record with those." Henry mused.

"What does that mean?" Elizabeth suddenly looked and felt uncomfortable.

"Nothing really. She's just had a few of those kinds of dreams that end up being something."

"Something like what?"

"Oh gosh Elizabeth, don't flip out. It's fine." Looking at her, he knew she wouldn't drop it. He sighed, "An example would be my cousin that was having no success getting pregnant and Mom had a dream that she had a baby and she was pregnant the next month. Stuff like that."

"That's weird. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Really. Don't worry about it."

"This is one of those times that it wouldn't have hurt to keep something to yourself." Elizabeth remarked. Henry laughed.

"I'll remember that." Henry said and Elizabeth elbowed him in the ribs

"Ok, one for the road," she said, grabbing a chocolate chip cookie out of the bag before twisting the top closed and placing it back on the counter.

Just then, Maureen came flying through the kitchen door dragging Shawn behind her. "We're riding with you," she said to Henry, "and we're leaving now."

"Why? We have another 10 minutes." Henry questioned.

"Because Dad is giving Shawn a hard time.about everything." Maureen sounded exasperated.

Elizabeth laughed, "Let's go then." She stepped back into the living room to grab her coat and Henry's suit coat. On the way out the door, after handing Henry his coat, Elizabeth turned and patted Shawn's arm, "I suggest yard work. It helped my case considerably."

In an effort not to arrive even earlier than early, Henry drove around the neighborhood and he and Maureen reminisced about childhood hangout spots. It seemed like Henry and Maureen didn't get along so much of the time, it was nice that they could enjoy each other's company once in a hwil..

Pulling into the parking lot, Henry found a spot and parked. Maureen and Shawn quickly took off and headed into the building. Henry hung back with Elizabeth as they walked slowly in that direction. "Are you ok?" he asked tentatively, putting a supportive hand on her back.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I've done many things that are harder than this."

"Yes. But this isn't a have to. Have you thought about why it's hard. I'd like to know."

"There's just something wrong about showing up at the house of a 'person' once you've told them you hate them. Seems a little hypocritical."

"You seem to be under the impression that everyone who will show up tonight is good and perfect. The truth is that everyone there has turned their back on God at some point, some probably even more spectacularly than you. Some don't believe at all and are just dragged here at Christmas because of family, some are unsure what they believe but they show up out of curiosity. Everyone's path is different." He waited for her next move.

"Come on," she finally said. "It's cold." He opened the door for her and they crossed the breezeway before entering. Still having his arm around her, Henry felt Elizabeth suck in a breath. "It's so pretty," she whispered as her eyes spanned the dimly lit expanse. "And so much different than the other day. It's not even the same place."

"They decorate especially for the Christmas season."

"Hasn't it been the Christmas season?" Elizabeth wrinkled her nose in confusion at Henry.

"Actually the four Sundays before Christmas are known as Advent. It's a time of preparation for the birth of Christ. The Christmas season actually starts on Christmas Day and goes to Epiphany on January 6th. You've heard of the 12 days of Christmas, right? That's where it comes from. And before you ask, Epiphany is when the Three Wise Men make it to Bethlehem."

"How come I never knew this?"

Henry shrugged, "Maybe secular Christmas versus religious Christmas? Ready to sit down with everyone else?"

Nodding, Elizabeth spotted the McCords and led the way. Henry followed her down the aisle and genuflected before entering the pew then knelt to pray. Elizabeth sat next to Maureen taking in the scenery. She felt better that there was so much to look at. It meant less time with idle thoughts for her to get wrapped up in. There were six huge evergreen trees covered in white lights in the front of church and a large wooden stable with fantastically detailed statues of Mary and Joseph. Between them was an empty manger. The shepherds and various stable animals were around the scene.

When Henry sat back, Elizabeth leaned over to him. "My knowledge of the Bible may not be all that great, but I'm confident that we are missing the main attraction," she whispered.

"Patience," he mumbled back. "Start making a mental list of things to ask, because I can't answer every question as you think of it."

"I should have thought to bring a notebook."

"Oh, that's a great idea. Stay put. I'll be right back. He stood up and entered the empty pew behind them and walked to where his parents sat on the end of the pew. Leaning over, he asked, "Mom, do you have a notepad or some kind of paper and pen?" MaryHelen shot him an odd look, but fished a small notepad and pen from her purse. "Thanks." Henry walked back around to his spot, genuflected and sat down. He handed Elizabeth the notepad and pen and smiled.

Three altar boys emerged from the sacristy with long candle lighters. One started lighting the candles around the altar and the other two started down the side aisles lighting the candles in each of the window sills. When they were about half done, the organist started playing and the choir began singing.

She closed her eyes and listened to songs that she had probably heard hundreds of times in her life. They sounded completely different now. She couldn't figure out exactly what it was. She listened to 2 or 3 songs, trying to put her finger on it. Finally, she decided that it was context. "Away in a Manger" played over the loudspeaker in the mall didn't elicit the same feelings as "Away in a Manger" sitting in front of a manger.

When the music stopped, Elizabeth put her hand on Henry's arm and whispered, "Surely this isn't all there is to it?"

Henry stifled a chuckle, showing her his watch. 11:45. "Hasn't started yet."

"So why exactly did we need to get here so early?"

Henry snorted and Maureen's hand flew up to her mouth to cover her laugh.

"What?" Elizabeth wanted to know, not particularly liking being laughed at.

Henry leaned in to her. "It's a MaryHelen McCord thing. This is the pew we always sit in and Mom insists we show up way too early so that no one else will sit in her pew. We have complained about it for years."

"It's dumb," Maureen added, " but we do it to keep the peace."

Out of nowhere Shane reached over Shawn and gave Maureen's leg a shove. The three look over to catch a MaryHelen death glare. All three tried to look innocent. When MaryHelen leaned back, Henry threw his arm around Elizabeth's shoulders resting it on the pew. For a split second she questioned the sudden coziness, until Henry popped Maureen in the shoulder. Maureen instantaneously reached over Elizabeth and smacked Henry's leg. MaryHelen snapped her fingers, which echoed through the nearly silent church, and pointed at the three of them. She mouthed, "Stop it now." All three looked straight ahead and bit their tongues trying desperately not to laugh.

Luckily, a bell rang and everyone stood. The three candle lighters processed up from the back, only now one carried a crucifix on a long pole. They were followed by a young girl, maybe 6, who carried Jesus wrapped in a white blanket. Then Fr. Tony along with two other men dressed in white. As they made their way to the front, they all went down on their right knee and made the Sign of the Cross. There was a manger blessing and baby Jesus was taken from the little girl and placed in the manger. She trotted back to her parents a couple rows back.

Some talking, and a couple prayers later, everyone sat down. It was a little difficult to keep track of although it both surprised and confused Elizabeth that everyone knew exactly what they should be doing and saying. One of those in particular was kind of long and everyone just rattled it off. She noted that when she sat down. Henry reached under the edge of the pew and produced a paperback book. He flipped through it quickly and handed it to Elizabeth, pointing at a particular section. She saw that it was what the person at the podium was reading. There was singing, then more reading.

Elizabeth spent more time studying the space around her than listening to what was being read. There were some very interesting things. She studied a particular statue that was a man with wings-an angel she guessed, but he had a spear and was killing a demon or some similar creature. Seems like an odd statue for a church to have. There was also one of a woman with a snake wrapped around her feet. So weird. Ok, standing again. Priest is reading. Wonder why we stand for him, but not the other person. And sitting back down. Henry wasn't kidding with the whole up and down thing.

When everyone sat down, there was a different vibe. Henry sat back a little more, and put his arm around her shoulders, for real this time. The priest came down from where he'd been reading and walked among the congregation speaking on what had been read and the meaning of Christmas. Ah, sermon. Got it! Elizabeth had started out listening, but a few minutes in, her mind drifted to Henry, who had turned his body into her a little and pulled her hand over to rest on his leg, covering it with his. Elizabeth thought about where she was and how she'd fought the idea of even walking into a church only a couple months prior. She hadn't even been sold on coming tonight until a few hours ago. Now, sitting next to Henry, she felt perfectly content and at peace. She couldn't remember the last time she felt that. Her mind drifted back to a few months earlier and she pondered something Henry had said. Something that at the time, she had immediately dismissed and even scoffed at, in her head of course, not to Henry. He'd said, "God didn't abandon you. He sent me." She looked over at him and smiled. Maybe he was on to something. Maybe.

The rest of Mass was fine. Stand, sit, kneel. Rinse and repeat. Oh, and add shake hands. Elizabeth thought that was odd as well. Growing up she distinctly remembered this kind of thing happening at the beginning, not almost at the end. She just decided to add that to the list of things she had written down.

After Communion the most amazing thing happened. The entire congregation was just sitting there. It had been long enough that she was starting to get antsy. Then she heard it. It was faint. Bells, not church bells, but sleigh bells. It was louder and then it stopped. Seconds passed and the back door opened and let in a gust of cold air. Elizabeth turned to look over her shoulder and was stunned. It was Santa Claus, carrying a giant bag over his shoulder. You could hear all of the children gasp. It was kind of exciting. He walked slowly up the center aisle and approached the stable. He knelt in front of the manger and prayed. After a couple minutes, Santa stood. He left his sack in front of the manger and slowly walked out. Once the door slammed shut the bells rang again with a fading "Ho, ho, Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Elizabeth whispered to Henry, "That was fun! What's in Santa's sack?"

"A present for each of the kids. I thought you'd like it."

The ending hymn was the most beautiful version of "Joy to the World" that she had ever heard. Walking out, Henry had his arm wrapped around her waist and she was holding his free hand. Stepping out into the cold, Elizabeth heard her name called. She didn't turn to look thinking it probably wasn't her that was being called, but when she heard it again, she turned to see Maggie Montgomery walking through the crowd. "Hello Mrs. Montgomery!" Elizabeth said. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too dear. I hope it's been wonderful."

"Yes ma'am. So far it's been fabulous. Tomorrow we leave to travel to my aunt and uncle's house to celebrate with them."

"That's wonderful! I hope you have a nice visit." Turning her attention to Henry, she suddenly got very serious, "I see the lovely lady here is without a ring on her finger. You need to be fixing that."

"I'm, I don't think-"

"That's right Henry, don't think. Just do it. You know full well that I cared for you and Tommy like my own. I wouldn't steer you wrong."

Henry looked flustered, "You are aware that she's standing right here, right? And that this might be a little embarrassing."

"Oh, take it like a man, Henry. The girl just spent more than a week with your father and sister and didn't kill them or run away. I think she knows what she's getting into."

"I will totally take that under consideration," he said, which earned him a poke in the ribs from Elizabeth and a rolled up church bulletin to the head from Mrs. Montgomery.

"Be nice," Elizabeth said. Henry rolled his eyes at her.

Begrudgingly, he leaned over and hugged the woman. "I love you Mrs. Montgomery and I'll see you on a few months."

"I'm holding you to that Henry."

"Oh good Lord," he said as they walked to the car.

"Oh babe,don't mind her," Elizabeth said putting her head on his shoulder as they walked. "Older people say what they want whenever they want. I'm sure she means well."

"I suppose, but it doesn't make it less embarrassing."

"Hmm, I thought your Mom reprimanding you for your behavior during Mass would have been more embarrassing."

"That was your fault," he accused.

Elizabeth laughed, "Uh, how do you figure that?"

"You started the whole thing by asking why we showed up so early."

"I asked because I didn't know and then you and your sister started laughing and whacking each other."

"Well, that part couldn't be helped." he laughed.

"You are impossible," she said giggling.

"It's one of my more endearing qualities." Henry pulled her close and kissed her chastely.

"It's late Henry and we have a big day tomorrow."

"Yes, lets get home."

A/N: Santa visiting the manger scene happened every year at my parish growing up. It's the only place I know that does it, but I thought it was enchanting as a child, so I threw it in.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I love it I see a review that asks for something and I've already written it. Tommy makes an appearance here. I'm hoping I did it justice. Enjoy!

Oh and as a teaser, Elizabeth's aunt makes Maureen look like a cuddly little puppy.

Chapter 21

After a full Christmas breakfast and lots of goodbyes and promises to visit soon, Elizabeth and Henry were off to Connecticut to see Elizabeth's aunt and uncle, Brenda and Geoffrey Adams, and her brother, Will. Henry relaxed in the driver's seat, settling into the almost 8 hour drive. But, for as relaxed as Henry was, Elizabeth was anxious. She knew that Henry had been nervous for her to meet his parents and while the visit wasn't without a little rockiness at first, she thought it had gone pretty well. She had no such hope for her side of the family. Her aunt and uncle had never had much use for her, so the thought of dragging Henry into that oh so happy environment, was enough to make Elizabeth ill.

"Babe," Henry reached across and took her hand, "it will be fine."

"What will be fine? I didn't say anything." she said, hoping not to cause him alarm.

"You're worried and I'm a big boy. I can deal with whatever happens. You put up with my family for the last 10 days. I can handle yours."

"That's different, and I still didn't say anything about it."

"You're grinding your teeth, and you only do that when you are really stressed out."

"Oh," Elizabeth sat back and closed her eyes. "You know, sometimes it's creepy how in tune you are to me."

"Creepy is the new caring," he said chuckling.

She turned to him and smiled. "I do love you, creepy and all."

As the miles fell away, Elizabeth dozed off and on and Henry listened to the radio. They stopped for gas and drinks. Getting back on the road, Elizabeth produced the bag of chocolate chip cookies that Henry's mom had sent along. "Want one?" she offered.

"Sure," Henry replied taking a couple out of the bag. She eyed the second cookie and he grinned at her. "Hey, do you still have your list of questions from Mass last night?"

"Yeah, let me find my purse." She unhooked her seatbelt and threw herself over the seat to dig around in the back. "Got it," She grunted as she pulled herself back over and into a sitting position. Fastening the seatbelt again, she said, "Most of the questions have to do with a couple of things. What is the purpose of all of the sitting, standing and kneeling and how does everyone know when do a certain thing at certain times?"

"I think the easiest way to explain it is to think of Mass as a play and the priest has the role of Jesus. If you were in the presence of Jesus, you would stand out of respect. If Jesus sat down to teach, you would sit and listen, and if you witnessed Jesus perform a miracle, you would fall on your knees in adoration. So the different postures match what is happening during Mass."

Elizabeth furrowed her brow in thought trying to remember what was happening when the people were doing different things. "I'll have to go next Christmas and see if it makes more sense."

"You're most definitely welcome to go next Christmas, but you could also come with me on Sunday."

"It's the same thing every time? All of the prayers and everything, every week? Doesn't it get boring?"

"It's like a play, remember. The priest is acting out the part of Jesus. It's the same every time. Now depending on the time of year, some things change a little, like there wouldn't be a manger blessing every time or for certain times of the year, certain prayers are chosen over others, but the flow and participation is the same." He checked to make sure she was still with him before continuing. "Some people may find it boring, others taking comfort in the familiarity, and others immerse themselves in the whole experience, so it's definitely not boring to them. It would be more rejuvenating for their soul."

"How is it for you?" she asked sincerely.

"It varies. Most of the time it fills me up spiritually, sometimes it is comforting, and occasionally it's nothing. That's usually how I know I'm missing something in my life."

Elizabeth thought about that for a while. It did explain how everyone seemed to know exactly what was coming next and could rattle off all those prayers without thinking about it. Then her mind wandered to Henry's answer and she tried to figure out how she was filled up spiritually, or if that was even a part of herself that got any attention. A better question was if she even had a spirit. That's a comforting thought. She grimaced.

"What's bothering you?" concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing," she mumbled as she turned to look out the window.

"Not true, but if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine." After a few minutes, Henry ventured to change the subject. "Anything else on your list?"

Absentmindedly, she looked down at it. "Oh yeah, what's with the weird statues that don't look like they belong in a church?"

Henry looked vexed. "Which ones?"

"The one of the man angel creature spearing the ghoulish dragon looking thing and the woman with the snake wrapped around her feet."

"Oh," he chuckled, "I've never heard them described in exactly that manner before. That's kind of funny. I can see it though." He glanced over at her. She was staring intently at him. "The angel is St. Michael the Archangel. He is the chief opponent of Satan and evil in general. The ghoulish guy is Satan and Michael is crushing him. The woman is Mary and she's actually stepping on the head of the serpent that gave Eve the forbidden fruit. Eve represents the downfall of man and Mary is the opposite. She birthed mankind's savior, thereby crushing the serpent, or Satan."

"That's sort of morbid, and not very warm and fuzzy."

"Well, I'm not sure I'd call Catholicism warm and fuzzy. There are hundreds of saints that were martyred. Wars fought over protecting Catholics or destroying them. A lot of Catholic history is gruesome, but that's not all it is. There is Truth and beauty also." Henry waited for a moment before continuing. "Evidently you missed the St George statue in the back of the nave."

"I guess I did. Why? And what, or where, is the nave?"

"St George is mounted on a horse that is rearing up while slaying a dragon."

"Oh, and the nave?" She wrinkled her nose.

"It's the official name for the part of the church where the people sit. The sanctuary is where the altar and Tabernacle are and the sacristy is the room behind the sanctuary where the priest gets ready for Mass."

"Do Catholics have special names for everything?" Elizabeth smirked.

"I'm not sure, since I only know the Catholic words. They're probably special though." He placed his hand on her thigh and she laced her fingers in his.

They fell back into silence. Still thinking, she sighed, "If you don't have some sort of religion that fills you up spiritually, what does? Or are you just without? And what does that mean?"

Henry pondered that for a while before speaking. "Well, I think your spirit and your soul are one in the same, and everyone has a soul. Our thoughts and actions all have an effect on our souls. In my mind, religion helps by laying out the ideal, so you know what your end game is. It seems that you can have a good soul without it. There are many good people in the world that don't follow a religion." Henry stopped and tried to think about what she was getting at. "What's really bothering you?"

"I'm not spiritual. Like not at all. What guides me though? How do I know if I'm no longer a good person, or if I even am to start with?"

"Elizabeth, you are one of the most good and kind hearted people I know. I've never known you to be anything other than good. I don't think you need to do meditation or read religious books or even go to church to be good. Now, as to what guides you, I would guess your heart and dedication to serve others have a lot to do with it but I can only tell you what I see."

"Hmm," she thought on that for a few minutes and then her stomach growled. "Hey, it's almost 2. Do you want to stop and get something real to eat? I can drive after if you want."

"That sounds good. Those cookies are giving me a sugar overload."

After stopping for a meal and gas, Elizabeth got behind the wheel. They listened to the radio for a bit and were just comfortable being together in the silence. Eventually, Henry reached around the seat and grabbed his book and settled in. Elizabeth was thinking about something she had heard last night, but was trying to decide if she should bring it up. Finally curiosity got the best of her and she spoke. "Henry, can I ask you something?"

"Sure babe. Anything"

"Even if it's personal?"

Reaching out to take her hand, he spoke, "Of course. There isn't anything that I wouldn't share with you."

"Who's Tommy?"

"Oh," Henry pulled his hand back and turned to look out the window.

Elizabeth glanced over at him. "I'm sorry Henry. If it's something that I don't need to know, just tell me. I'm fine-."

"No. It's not that." Henry cut her off. She could tell by his voice that he was near tears. She wanted to speak, to tell him it would be ok, but she knew she needed to wait. She had to let him come to her on his own terms, like he had done with her so many times before.

"I'm guessing you picked that up from Maggie." he asked.

"Yes." she answered.

Henry drew in a ragged breath. "Tommy Marshall was my best friend since we were little. Mrs. Montgomery watched both of us while our mothers worked. We went to the same school, played on all of the same teams, were altar boys together. Basically we were inseparable."

"How did he die?"

"When we were 11, I got the flu and had to stay in bed for a week. All of the neighborhood boys went down to the lake to play hockey. Everyone but me. Tommy and another kid went through the ice. The boys were able to pull James out, but by the time they got him pulled to safety, Tommy had gone under. It was an hour or so before they could locate him and break the ice to pull him from the lake and by then it was too late.."

Unnoticed by Henry, Elizabeth had pulled off the interstate and parked. She put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled Henry to her. "I'm so sorry baby."

Henry let go and sobbed against Elizabeth's shoulder. "It should have been me you know. I was always the one who played against James. If I hadn't been sick, I would have been in that spot. He died because I wasn't there."

"Oh, Henry, no." She just held him close, having no other way to comfort him.

When he calmed down, she pulled back to look into his eyes. "Why haven't you told anyone that before now?"

Henry couldn't hide his surprise. "How did you know?"

"I just did. Maybe I know what that kind of pain looks like. So?"

"When it happened, I was devastated. I remember crying into my pillow and my dad came into my room and told me to quit crying like a baby, that I needed to be a man."

"You were 11?" she asked. Henry nodded.

"It was much later that I realized the 'bury your emotions mentality' was a bunch of bullshit, but I had buried the guilt of Tommy's death so far down that I didn't ever bother to ever really acknowledge it. Until now."

"Is that why you never told me?"

" I did think about it a couple of times, but to be honest, me losing my friend doesn't seem like a big deal compared to your losing your parents. That, and I didn't want to seem like I was trying to show you up-certainly about something so serious as the death of loved ones."

"Henry, you know I would never look at it that way."

"I know. Maybe that's one of those rational versus irrational thoughts."

She grinned, "Probably." She paused for a moment. "You know that Tommy didn't die in your place, right? Rationally, I mean. It was an accident. It had nothing to do with you being there or not being there."

"Rationally I know that.", he murmured.

"And yet…"

"Yet I still have those thoughts."

I'm guessing it's the same way with me wondering why I didn't go with my parents that day or why Will and the driver of the other car survived and my parents did not. We can think about all of the possibilities, but it doesn't change what happened. It's very possible that it could have been Tommy home sick and he died of complications of the flu. Maybe it was just his time. On one hand that totally pisses me off but on the other, it helps me to think that something would have happened no matter what. It just happened to be a car accident or falling through the ice." Elizabeth took a deep breath, "I'm no help at all here. am I?" She leaned in and kissed him.

"Actually you being here and listening is very helpful." Henry kissed her softly. "But, we need to get back on the road or we are going to be way late."

Pulling back on to the highway, Elizabeth was reminded that there were only a few hours that separated her from her family. She figured she would have an ulcer by the time they arrived


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

It was about 7 when Elizabeth made the left hand turn into her Aunt and Uncle's gated community. 'Babe, wake up. We're here." She nudged Henry's arm. Henry blinked his eyes open and straightened in the seat.

She turned into a driveway with a large rod iron gate. A very tall, menacing looking man stepped out of the gatehouse. Before Henry could say anything, Elizabeth leapt from the car, "Otto!" she cried and nearly tackled the guy.

"Holy cow! Lizzie is that you?" Otto gasped, pulling her back so he could actually see her. "It's been forever! How are you doing? Oh my gosh! When you hadn't been home yet, we all thought you were skipping out this year."

"No such luck. Who's still here? Joe? Manny and Maria? Frederick? I can't wait to see them."

"Everyone but Maria. Your Aunt fired her a couple months ago."

Elizabeth couldn't hide her annoyance. "Why?" she asked.

"Maria wasn't moving as fast as your Aunt thought she should be. Well, with being 7 months pregnant, perhaps she wasn't moving quite as fast."

"You've got to be kidding me! Ugh! That woman!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Oh my gosh-Henry!" Elizabeth flew around to the opposite side of the car pulling the door open. "Henry! I'm so sorry. I got carried away seeing Otto. Please come meet him!" Henry chuckled to himself. It wasn't very often that he saw Elizabeth this animated. "Otto. This is Henry McCord. Henry this is Otto. He was my very first friend when I moved in here."

"Pleased to meet you Otto," Henry shook the man's hand.

"Nice to meet you sir," Otto responded. "Hey Lizzie, you better make your way up to the house. You know how she loves it when you hang out with the help."

"Oh, I may have heard something about that Once or twice," she giggled. "You working tomorrow afternoon?"

"Off tomorrow, here on Tuesday. Merry Christmas Lizzie."

"Merry Christmas to you too Otto! Tell your wife I said hello."

"Will do miss," he said assuming his official duties, tipping his hat to her as she got back in the car.

They drove up a long paved driveway and circled around a large fountain, parking in front of a four car garage. "Okay, you can do this," she said.

"I'll be fine," Henry told her.

Elizabeth turned and grinned at Henry. "That's nice, but I was talking to myself!" She leaned over and kissed him, softly at first. She sighed, silently begging for more. More confidence, more assurance, more of him. Henry obliged, tangling his fingers in her hair, holding her to him, his tongue exploring her mouth. He pulled back when she relaxed against him.

"You've done things much harder than this," he told her, still holding her head close to his.

"Yeah. But I've never brought anyone else to the party."

A few minutes later, they were standing on the front step having rung the bell. A short, slender man with very black hair opened the door. His smile was wide. "Miss Elizabeth, welcome!"

"Where is she?" Elizabeth murmured.

"In the study, miss," the man said under his breath.

"And Uncle Geoffrey?"

"He's out."

"Very well," Elizabeth replied, her face breaking out in a big smile of her own. She dropped her backpack and gave the man a big hug. "I've missed you Frederick. How have you been?"

"I'm good. Thank you for asking."

"Frederick, this is Henry McCord." Turning to Henry, she said, "Frederick is a jack-of-all-trades around here, but mostly my Aunt's butler and chauffeur. More importantly, he's been known to take the heat for some of my more unwise choices, which I very much appreciate!"

Henry extended his hand. "Good to meet you Frederick."

"Shall we, Miss Elizabeth?" Frederick said, offering his arm.

"Let's get this over with," Elizabeth said, giving a weak smile.

Frederick knocked on the study door and opened it, showing them inside. "Miss Elizabeth, ma'am," he said. Turning, he looked at Henry and said, "I'll take you bag, sir." Henry nodded his thanks and followed Elizabeth into the room.

"Aunt Brenda, hello, Merry Christmas!" Elizabeth said, greeting her aunt, who stood for a stiff, awkward hug. "I'd like to introduce you to Henry McCord."

Henry stepped forward and extended his hand."It's nice to finally meet you Elizabeth has told me wonderful things about you and your husband."

She shook his hand, but held on, studying him with piercing black eyes, "That's highly doubtful, but I suppose it's nice of you to say." They took a seat as Aunt Brenda continued to study Henry, "How old are you?"

"I'm 22, ma'am." he answered.

She rang a bell that was sitting on the table. Frederick came within seconds. "Yes ma'am?"

"Get the man a drink, Frederick."

Frederick looked to Henry and raised his eyebrows. Henry took about half a second to decide that this might be a long evening and the drink might help. "Whiskey, neat," He caught Frederick's eyes and discretely held up two fingers, mouthing the word "double." Frederick smiled as he turned to fetch the drink from the bar on the opposite side of the room.

Frederick returned with the drink and looked at Elizabeth as Aunt Brenda started to speak.. Elizabeth held up one finger and he disappeared. "So Elizabeth tells me you are from Pittsburgh. What do your parents do for a living Henry?"

Frederick returned with a glass of water, sitting it on the side table near Elizabeth. He stepped back to the door and waited to be dismissed. Aunt Brenda nodded in his direction and he disappeared out the door.

Henry answered the question, "My father is a steel worker and my mother is a nurse."

"Hmm," Brenda responded."Those seem like rather lowly professions." Elizabeth shifted in her seat, feeling the tension in her body rise. "But, I suppose that pays the bills and keeps them off welfare." Elizabeth swallowed hard and tried without success to keep from bouncing her leg. Aunt Brenda's eyes shifted to Elizabeth, "Could you please sit still? I would've thought you had mastered that seemingly trivial skill by now."

"Yes ma'am. I'll do better," Elizabeth's face flushed red at the reprimand. Henry was deeply annoyed by this point and downed most of his drink in one swallow.. This explains a lot about how she did so well with Maureen and my Dad. They're almost warm and fuzzy in comparison.

"Of course ma'am. My parents have always made more than enough to support our family." he stated, trying to turn the attention away from Elizabeth.

"Are you an only child then?" she asked.

"No, I have two sisters and a brother." Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Elizabeth's body stiffen. Obviously the wrong path to take. This should be interesting.

"Good Lord, your parents breed like rabbits! What are you Catholic?" Damn! She didn't beat around the bush with that one, did she?.

"Actually, yes we are. How ever did you guess? Because it's not as if four children is that many."

"Only about four too many," quipped Aunt Brenda.

"Aunt Brenda, is Uncle Geoffrey home?" Elizabeth asked, looking for anything to switch the current trajectory of conversation.

"You already know he isn't. I know you asked Frederick." Turning her attention back to Henry. "You graduate this spring, correct?" Henry nodded. "What is your major?"

Elizabeth thought she was going to throw up. Even she didn't think her Aunt would hit all of the hot button issues in the first half hour. She searched desperately for a way out of this.

Henry's mind was on overdrive. This ought to be real good. "I'll graduate with a double major in Religious Studies and History."

"And that will get you a job? That pays money?"

"Someday, yes. However, when I graduate, I will go into active duty with the Marines."

"Oh, this just keeps getting better and better," Aunt Brenda muttered.

I was thinking the same thing. "I want to apologize, but I think the long car ride has caught up with me. I'm feeling exhausted. Perhaps we could continue this conversation over breakfast in the morning?"

"You're dismissed." She rang the bell and Frederick appeared. Take the boy to his room." Elizabeth started to get up. "You stay." Elizabeth dropped back in the chair. She smiled at Henry. "I'll say goodnight before I go to bed." Frederick ushered Henry from the room.

"How'd you do?" Frederick asked. "It must not have been too bad. I didn't hear any screaming."

"If screaming is the criteria, I did a bang up job. Then to top it off, I just left Elizabeth in there alone with her. I'm not feeling like the the most capable guy right at the moment."

"Don't worry about Lizzie. She was ten times more affected because Brenda was going after you rather than if Brenda goes after her. It annoys Brenda to no end that Lizzie is smarter, prettier and a much nicer person in general. It actually makes Brenda meaner and Lizzie nicer if you can even imagine that."

"That knowledge makes me feel no better at all." Henry sulked.

"Here's your room. It's adjoined to Elizabeth's through the Jack and Jill bathroom. Just FYI." Frederick winked at Henry and was gone.

Elizabeth took a big drink of water settling for what she was sure was to be a fun lecture. "What in the hell Elizabeth? Where on earth did you find that one?"

"I found him walking out of an upper level Philosophy class being held next door to my International Law class. Weird, huh?"

"Don't get sassy with me."

"You're being ridiculous."

"He's in it for the money you stupid girl."

"He doesn't know I have money. He knows you have money and that I don't want your money."

"Right." Aunt Brenda said sarcastically.

"Does he know the extent to which you've traveled?"

"Yes."

"And how does he think you floated all of that."

"I told him you didn't want me around, which is true. I suppose he would assume you paid for it."

"What's he going to do when he finds out?"

"I'm not sure but it will probably be along the lines of 'hire someone good to manage it.' I'm telling you that he won't care."

"Have I mentioned how stupid you are?"

"Repeatedly," Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "What's it going to take for you to get over this?"

"A pre-nuptial agreement "

"That's unnecessary. I think we're done here," Elizabeth rose and walked out of the room, letting the door fall shut hard.

Elizabeth wandered into the kitchen where Frederick was tidying up. "Hey there, Lizzie. How bad was it?"

"Surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be. She started getting pretty wound up with Henry though."

"Yeah, you might want to get up there. He thinks he threw you to the lions. I told him you could handle her, but I don't think he believed me."

Elizabeth smiled. "What do you think of him Frederick?"

"Henry? He seems like a good guy. Super protective of you. That ranks him pretty high in my book." Frederick studied Elizabeth. "He's the one, isn't he?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." Elizabeth blushed. Frederick pulled her into a hug.

"Good for you kiddo." Frederick kissed the top of her head. "You better get up there before he thinks she's killed you!"

Elizabeth laughed, "Goodnight Frederick."

"Goodnight Lizzie."

A few minutes later, Elizabeth had changed into her pajamas and knocked on Henry's side of the bathroom door. The door opened almost instantaneously and Henry swept her into his arms. "Are you ok?" he mumbled against her lips. "That was crazy."

"She was showing off for you. That was extreme even for her."

"I don't know how you dealt with that level of hatefulness all of the time."

"Why do you think I spent 12 hours a day with Otto in the gatehouse the first two months I came here?"

"Otto seems like a nice guy."

"Yeah. He quite possibly kept me from killing myself."

"Really? Like seriously?" Henry pulled back and studied her.

"Yeah. I thought about it. Often. I was in a really dark place Henry. Losing my parents, then my horses, moving here, not knowing anyone, not being wanted and I mean quite literally not being wanted. Otto kept me going. Every night when he left work he would say, "Same time, same place?' and it was like his challenge for me to show up there the next morning. Sometimes I barely made it, but I always showed up for him."

"I will be sure to thank him the next time I see him." Henry pressed his lips to hers. "I'm so glad you are here, with me, right now, in this moment."

"Me too," she breathed out against his mouth before her tongue met his


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I'm getting to a point where I haven't thought any of this out ahead of time. Hopefully it will read ok. Many thanks to those who consistently review. I like real critiques.

Chapter 23

Elizabeth woke up first the next morning, her limbs tangled in Henry's, his hand resting on her heart. She lay quietly for several minutes soaking in the comfort of Henry's arms.

Will was coming today and while she always hoped for a good visit, it seldom happened. She would inevitably bring up their parents, then Will would get defensive and leave. She promised herself that she would hold her tongue at all costs. She wanted Henry to have an ally in the family, since it was clear that her Aunt did not approve of their relationship. She then wondered where Uncle Geoffrey was. She had decided long ago that he wasn't a bad man. He had just been beaten down verbally by his wife for so long that he no longer cared to fight her, even when he knew she was wrong. She did love him, but, more than that, she felt sorry for the lot in life that he drew.

Henry started to stir and Elizabeth squirmed to roll over and face him. "Good morning sunshine," she said, planting kisses on his forehead, nose and cheeks.

"This is a wake up call I could get behind," he smiled and kissed her lips.

She backed away from him covering her mouth, "Ugh! My morning breath is bad!"

Henry laughed and followed her to the bathroom to brush his teeth. "I could get used to a bathroom this size. Mine is maybe half of this."

"Yeah, your bathroom isn't big, but even in this giant one, you're still standing two inches from me."

"Wat's wecuz i wuv wu," Henry said while still brushing his teeth. Elizabeth giggled and leaned to the side so he could spit the toothpaste out. "You know," he said, "this is one of my favorite views of you." He brushed her hair off her neck and planted kisses from her hairline down her neck and, pulling her t-shirt off her shoulder, continued the trail of kisses as far as her could. Laying his head on her shoulder he placed his palms on her hip bones and splayed his fingers across her abdomen. She sighed and covered his hands with her own and pulled them up to her breasts, covered only by her t-shirt. He could feel the hard peaks of her nipples under his palms. "Yes," he rasped, " this is most definitely my favorite view."

One of these days, I plan to watch you fuck me from behind, just like this. Elizabeth blushed at her own thought. Henry never missed much, and of course caught her blush.

"I know what you are thinking," he teased.

"Oh really. What's that?" she countered, looking at his reflection in the mirror, trying to keep her voice even.

"You were thinking how awesome it's going to look when I take you from behind." Henry grinned at her.

"That's not exactly what I thought." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Oh really, what 'exactly' did you think?"

Elizabeth turned to face him and whispered in his ear, " In my mind, i used the word fuck." Stepping away from him she said, "We should probably show up for breakfast. It's almost 8:30."

"You're a tease!" Henry called after her.

Through the closed door, he heard her say, "It's one of my more endearing qualities." Henry laughed to himself. He had deserved that one.

They met in the hallway a few minutes later. On their way down the stairs, Elizabeth stopped. "Crap! I got distracted last night. I was going to tell you something. It's likely that Aunt Brenda will bring it up this morning, so act like you know what she's talking about."

"It would be easier if I actually knew what she was talking about."

"Right. Of course. Well, the gist of it is that when my parents died, they left Will and I with a large sum of money. It's held in a trust and I get an allowance every year, but I get my share when I turn 21. My Aunt is convinced that you're dating me because of my money."

"Hmm. Since I've known this all of 30 seconds, I'm going with that's not why I'm dating you, but since you're going to be 21 this year, you will really need to find a good investment guy to make sure your money is protected. Maybe your uncle knows someone or there are a couple of ROTC guys that are interning with investment companies. Maybe they can give you a few leads."

Elizabeth stepped back up a step so that she she was the same height as Henry. She pulled him into a hug. "That's what I told her you would say. I love you."

Aunt Brenda looked up from her cup of coffee when Henry and Elizabeth entered the kitchen. "It's about time. I thought you were going to sleep, or whatever, all day."

Elizabeth deflected, "You never said a specific time so I spent some time reading this morning. I apologize. Did we miss breakfast? We can just get a piece of toast or something."

"No, I waited to see what you were going to fix."

"I think you know that if I'm cooking, you're limited to toast or cereal."

"I had hoped you would have expanded your skills by now."

"It's not a skill I'm interested in honing right now."

"Yes. I'm sure you're honing other skills." She raised her eyebrows at Henry.

"That's enough," Henry said with a little more force than he meant to verbalize. "Pancakes. Elizabeth will you help?"

"Of course," she said, trying rid herself of the embarrassment in her voice. Damn, that woman! Elizabeth helped Henry find the griddle and all of the ingredients. He measured, she mixed, he cooked, and she cut up fruit and set the table.

Within 20 minutes, Henry set a stack of pancakes on the table next to the fruit and pitcher of juice. "Here we go."

"Thank you Henry," Elizabeth said. When Henry sat down, he bowed his head for prayer as he did at every meal. Elizabeth waited out of respect. Aunt Brenda, on the other hand, felt no such need.

"Really? Must we endure this obnoxious display?"

I think that every single time you open your mouth! "I wouldn't knock the cook until you've tried the pancakes," Elizabeth said sliding the plate to her Aunt.

After Brenda, Elizabeth took two pancakes and held the plate for Henry so he could get some before returning the plate to the center of the table. They ate in silence, much to Elizabeth's delight. Any peace is a good peace. Aunt Brenda was on her third pancake when she started talking. "Henry, since it appears that you have no actual plans for attaining the income level that will sustain Elizabeth's lifestyle, I'm curious how you plan to manage it."

"I'm not sure why you are concerned about it. Unless, you think I'm hanging out until she's 21 so I can squander her money leaving her high and dry and then she'll be on your payroll."

Elizabeth started to speak, but Henry reached under the table and put his hand on her knee. She looked over at him. He silently asked her to let him handle it. I hope Henry knows what the hell he's getting into here. He knows damned good and well that I would never ask her for money.

Henry continued, "Your question just goes to show how little you know about Elizabeth. First, she doesn't have an expensive lifestyle. She's probably one of the more frugal people I've ever met, and evidently it's not because she can't afford to get whatever she wants. It's because she doesn't see the need in excess when there are others who have so little. And if you think she will ever be a financial burden to you, I guarantee she would live on the streets before coming to ask you for money for herself. That won't be a problem since she is quite capable. I'm sure she will make enough money in whatever career she chooses with or without me."

"There should be a pre-nuptial agreement," Brenda continued.

"I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself, but when we get to that stage, count on me to be all in. I would suggest at this point that the main benefactor be Will, second only to any children we may have. Otherwise it's Elizabeth's money, her discretion. Does that satisfy you?

"For the time being," Aunt Brenda dabbed at her mouth and put the napkin on her plate. "Pancakes were ok," she said as she rose from the table and left the room.

Elizabeth slumped in the chair before burying her head in her hands. "Hey babe. It's ok," Henry crooned, pulling her to his chest. "I'm sorry for speaking for you. She was just irritating me to no end and I didn't think she would take your word for it."

"I don't mind. It's nice to have someone come to my rescue every once in a while. I'm just sorry that she is so combative about everything. It wears me out. Also, I want you to know that we don't need any kind of pre-nup anything. I don't think you'd do anything with that money. It's just something else for her to complain about."

After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, they took a walk around the grounds. Elizabeth introduced Henry to Joe and Manny, the groundskeepers. Henry found out the Manny was married to Maria, the maid that had been fired. Elizabeth apologized for her Aunt's behavior and promised to visit Maria before leaving town.

Making their way back to the house, it was afternoon and there was still no sign of Uncle Geoffrey. They found Frederick as he was on his way out to run an errand. "Where's Uncle Geoffrey?" Elizabeth asked. It was very unusual for him to not seek her out to at least say hello. He was a quiet man and no longer had the need to share space with his wife, but that had never had anything to do with Elizabeth.

"He's in his room," Frederick said absentmindedly and then looked around like he shouldn't have said that.

"What's going on?" She studied Frederick. "Can I go see him?"

"I wasn't told you couldn't. Just make sure he answers before you go in. Otherwise he may be sleeping."

"Frederick, was he really out last night?" Elizabeth had a sinking feeling that something was very wrong with her uncle.

"That's what I was instructed to tell you," he said.

"Where's Brenda?" Elizabeth hoped that she wasn't up with him.

"In the study,"

"Thanks Frederick."

Henry took her hand and led her up the stairs. "Do you want me to hang back or go with you?" he asked.

"I'd like you with me. No matter what, I want to introduce you, and if it's beyond that point, I think I'd just like you with me."

"Of course, babe," Henry murmured, wrapping an arm around her waist.

They walked the long hallway to the last door. Elizabeth took a deep breath, steeling herself for what might await her behind the door. Henry traced small circles on the small of her back with his thumb. She knocked. A weak "yes" came from inside. She walked in with Henry following.

Facing away from the bedroom door, Geoffrey Adams was sitting propped up in a recliner looking out the French doors of his room. "Who is it?" he asked, not having the strength to turn his whole body to see who was approaching.

" It's Elizabeth, Uncle Geoffrey," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and the tired man's face lit up.

"Lizzie! What are you doing here?" he grasped her hand and kissed it. "I thought you weren't coming back this year."

"Of course I was coming. That's been planned for a while. I came in late last night. Sorry it took me so long to make it up here. It's a big house. It took me a while to find you!" Or Aunt Brenda for whatever reason wanted me to think you weren't here!

Uncle Geoffrey chuckled, but the sudden activity caused him to cough violently. Elizabeth knelt beside him, patting his back and Henry grabbed the water pitcher and refilled his glass. Elizabeth offered him the glass. He took a drink and settled back a bit. "Damn cough. It's going to be the death of me, literally." he smiled at his own joke.

"Do you mind telling me what's going on?" she asked.

"I will if you tell me about the handsome guy by your side,"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Geoffrey. This is Henry McCord."

"It's nice to meet you sir." Henry said, extending his hand. Uncle Geoffrey shook his hand weakly.

Turning his attention to Elizabeth, Geoffrey mused, "So, you've never brought anyone here to meet us before."

"No. I haven't." Elizabeth answered, trying not to divulge more information than necessary until she knew the direction the conversation would be heading.

"Can't say as I blame you. It's a rough crowd here at the Adams Estate." Henry smiled. Geoffrey nodded knowingly. "I assume Henry has met Brenda."

"We've talked a couple times. I think she likes me." Henry said with a completely straight face.

Geoffrey chuckled, thankfully not enough to start coughing, but he found Henry's comment very amusing. "I like him," he said to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was growing impatient and she could tell that her Uncle was tiring quickly. She wanted to know what was going on and he was the most likely to answer honestly. Henry grabbed a chair that was sitting at the desk for Elizabeth to sit in, but she opted for the floor at her Uncle's feet, allowing Henry to have the chair. "So?"

"Ah, everyone cares about me now that my health is bad more than they ever did when I was ok. I suppose it says a lot about the people I have chosen to associate with."

"That's not true of everyone," Elizabeth remarked.

"Right. I shouldn't make blanket statements. Anyway, I have this lung thing. Basically there's a lot of scar tissue on my lungs and it's causing me to have difficulty breathing. I was diagnosed many years ago, but in the last few months, it has become really aggressive."

"What kind of treatment options are there?" she wanted to know.

"None that will stop it. They're just making me as comfortable as possible for the most part. Steroids, inhalers, pain killers, that sort of thing. All of them have side effects that I'm not sure make it worth taking them to start with."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Elizabeth implored. There had to be a good reason not to tell her. Uncle Geoffrey was her father's only living sibling. She and Will weren't exceptionally close to him, but Geoffrey and Brenda were their legal guardians, at least until this past year when Will had turned 18. She imagined that at least deserved a phone call.

"I don't really have a good reason for that. It just wasn't the phone call I thought I could make, so I didn't. I didn't want you to feel guilted into coming back here. I know that you don't have strong feelings of attachment here."

"Right, because getting the call that you'd been sick for months and died is such a better call to receive. It's almost as good as a policeman showing up on your doorstep telling you that your parents are dead and your brother is at the hospital. Those were some good times!" Elizabeth was nearly crying by that point, her eyes glassed over with tears. It just isn't fair. Henry slid off the chair and wrapped her in his embrace.

He let her cry for a few minutes and then pulled her back so he could look at her. "I know you are hurting, but this is your opportunity. You both are here. Talk to him. Say the things you need to say. Have him tell you stories bout your parents. Don't let this chance slip by." He got up from the floor pulling her up also. He moved the chair next to the recliner and he pointed to it. "Sit."

Once the two of them were settled, Henry stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door shut. He sat down against the wall, pulling the Rosary out of this pocket. Making The Sign of the Cross, he closed his eyes and nimbly moved his fingers over the beads as he prayed the prayers silently, asking for peace and comfort for this dying man and for the woman he loved.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Henry was nearly finished saying the Rosary when he heard the stairs creak. He opened his eyes and surveyed the hallway seeing Brenda as she hit the top step. She was marching down the hall with purpose stopping in front of him. "What do you think you're doing?" Her black beady eyes demanding an answer.

"Waiting for Elizabeth. Thought I'd pray in the meantime." Now Henry, you are just stirring the pot. The whole prayer bit wasn't necessary.

"Waiting for her to do what?"

"Finish talking with your husband."

"Who gave her permission to see him?"

"I don't think she was aware that she needed permission to visit with HER uncle. And why does she need permission?"

"I don't owe you any kind of explanation for my actions."

"No but Elizabeth ranks quite a bit higher than I do. And I guarantee you will be having this conversation with her."

Henry could tell that Brenda was biting back a response, but for whatever reason she let it go and stepped around him and opened the door. Henry followed her in.

When they went in, Uncle Geoffrey was sitting propped up in bed with Elizabeth sitting cross-legged in the middle talking with him. Brenda huffed, "How did you get to the bed?"

"What difference does it make how I got from one spot to the other?" Geoffrey asked her.

"It matters because you don't need to be moving so much," Brenda spat out.

"I thought Elizabeth showed up today to surprise me. Come to find out, she had made plans with you over a month ago to come and Will is coming in later today. Were you going to tell me or just let them be here and hide me. Surely at some point they might wonder where I was."

"I didn't think you needed the stress."

"The stress of what? The kids coming to say hi. I tell you Brenda, you cause me more stress than these kids ever will." Elizabeth could tell that he was getting winded and the coughing was about to begin. She scooted a little closer and handed him his oxygen mask and had a glass of water ready for him when he may need it.

"I can see when I'm not wanted." Turning on her heel she left, slamming the door behind her.

"Something doesn't add up here," Elizabeth pondered. She turned to Uncle Geoffrey, "Aunt Brenda didn't tell you we were coming. She specifically deceived me by instructing Frederick to tell me you were out last night and deflecting when I asked her. I've spoken to her at least every other week for the past several months, sometimes even weekly. I've asked to talk to you and you are always out. I've asked how you are and she says fine, which obviously has not been the case. Now, she's all up in arms that I'm even talking to you." She just sat there for a few moments. "Brenda's up to something, but every plausible explanation seems sinister, even for her."

Geoffrey sat with his eyes closed for a long time. Thinking he had fallen asleep, Elizabeth sat back to get off of the bed. Geoffrey's eyes immediately opened and reaching over, he took Elizabeth's hand. "I wasn't sleeping, just thinking. Will you do something for me?"

"Sure. What can I get you? Elizabeth glanced around to see if he couldn't get to something."

"No. I want you to call Alan Millman for me. He my personal lawyer. His law firm is Brown, Millman and Cochran. The number should be in the phone book. Please set up an appointment in the next few days for him to come to see me. Then, I need you to make sure Brenda isn't here when he comes."

"Ohh-kay. What are you planning to do? Wait, nevermind. I don't want to know what you are doing, but make sure that whatever you do comes from a good place and isn't reactionary to what you think may be going on."

"Lizzie. You know what I've always admired about you most?" Elizabeth shook her head. "You are the most hopeful person I've ever met. You always try to see the good in people, even when they don't deserve it. This is one of those cases." He leaned back into the pillows. Do you think you could help me lie back a little more? I can't lay all the way flat or I can't breathe, but trying to sleep while sitting straight up isn't restful either."

"Of course," she leaned up to take a couple of the pillows out of the stack. Henry jumped up to help as well, helping him scoot down the bed a bit. "Is that better?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," After dinner come back to see me. I've really enjoyed having someone to visit with. Maybe Will will be here by then too."

"Most definitely. Sleep well. We'll be back in a few hours," she said.

Henry and Elizabeth were sitting in the front room curled up against each other reading when the door chimes rang. Elizabeth leapt off of the couch and beat Frederick to the door by a half step. She opened the door and tackled and unsuspecting Will. "Whoa, dang sis! Give a guy a little warning," Will managed to huff out, having the wind knocked out of him. Stepping in, he nodded his hello to Frederick. He placed his bags on the floor as Elizabeth dragged him into the front room to meet Henry.

Henry stood as they entered the room. "Will, this is Henry McCord."

"It's nice to meet the man of so many stories," Henry said as he grasped Will's hand.

"Knowing the source of those stories, I'd only believe about 30%." They all laughed. "I'm going to go and check in with Brenda and Geoffrey. I'll be back."

"Hey Will, uh did you know that Uncle Geoffrey was sick?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Like a cold?"

"More like lung disease. Terminal."

"What are you talking about Lizzie?"

Frederick told me that Geoffrey was out last night and today I went to check on him and found him confined to his room, hooked to oxygen and barely able to carry on a conversation without coughing.

"Are you serious?" Will was astounded. Elizabeth cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips. "I know, yes you are serious! That just seems so crazy."

"Yeah," she looked down at her hands.

"Well, I'm going to see Aunt Brenda first. Wish me luck." Will disappeared with Frederick.

Frederick announced Will's arrival and he entered the study, "Good afternoon Aunt Brenda! Merry Christmas! Oh, don't bother getting up." Will leaned in and gave her a quick side hug and sat down opposite her. "How have you been? We haven't talked lately."

"Because you don't call, or return my calls," she said.

"If it helps, I don't return anyone's calls. You can ask Elizabeth. She's always on my case about it."

"I suppose that would be the one thing we agree on. What have you been blowing your allowance on lately?"

"Paid tuition for next semester, went skiing with some friends, signed up for a rappelling class in the spring. In the summer, the pre-med department is taking a group of students to Haiti to work in several impoverished communities. I'll be doing that for 8 weeks this summer."

"Your money would be better spent getting in with some high profile doctors. Cardiology, orthopedics neuro-surgery, something along those lines." Aunt Brenda looked bored. They had this same discussion every time they talked.

"Yes, but I'm not interested in doing that kind of medicine. I want to be where I can help people who wouldn't otherwise get help." Will was always exasperated by this point. Everything was about the end dollar with her. For him, the thrill was saving someone with only his wits (most of the time). He couldn't do it yet, but in another 5 years, he'd be well on his way. War-torn areas, disasters, places no one else wants to go, that's where you'll find Will Adams.

"Where's Geoffrey?"

"He's around." It annoyed Will that Brenda was side-stepping the question.

"Will he be joining us for dinner?"

"Probably not."

"Did he finally leave you?" Will knew that was a low blow, but at that point he didn't care.

"He won't ever leave me regardless of what you and your sister might attempt to do."

"Your feathers are easily ruffled today."

"Life was easier before children."

"I guess you can thank your lucky stars that we weren't infants!"

"I can say with certainty that if this whole situation had arisen and you were small children, you would've never come here. I would not have let Geoffrey talk me into it."

"On that warm and fuzzy note, I'm going to unpack my stuff and say hi to Lizzie. See you at dinner." He rose from his chair and left the room, feeling distressed about the entire situation.

After taking his bags to his room, Will stopped by to say hello to Geoffrey. He knocked softly and when he heard no answer, he cracked the door and peered in. Geoffrey was resting on the bed, pale and his breathing was shallow. Will crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He took Geoffrey's pulse and watched him for signs of distress. He seemed to be doing okay so Will rose to leave. Geoffrey reached out to touch his hand. Will turned and while it took a few seconds for Geoffrey to clear the sleepiness from his vision, he smiled broadly when he recognized Will. "Lizzie said you were coming but I always wait to make sure it's real before I get my hopes up. It's good to have you here son."

Will was taken aback by the term of endearment. His Uncle has never been unkind, but he certainly had never been outwardly loving. "It's good to be here. You're looking a little tired. Have you been able to rest well?"

"All I do is rest, but evidently it isn't helping my good looks."

Will laughed. "Your good looks are still in tact Uncle Geoffrey. I wouldn't worry about that. Do they ever let you out of here?" he asked looking around.

"I haven't been out of this room in a few months."

"Why?"

"I don't know for sure. Brenda said I needed to be confined to prevent being exposed to illness."

"Hmm. I'll check on that. It seems like there is very little outside traffic in the house, so as long as you are physically able, you should be able to at least change your scenery." Will stopped and thought for a minute. "Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, Frederick hasn't brought it up yet."

"I'll ask Brenda if it would be alright to bring our dinner up and eat with you."

"That would be nice." Geoffrey smiled. "Do you think you could prop me up a bit? I don't think I'll be going back to sleep any time soon."

"Sure. Let me get the pillows." Will walked around the bed and grabbed the pillows that had been previously cast aside. Helping his Uncle sit up, he arranged the pile. "Is that better?" he asked.

"It's great! Remind Lizzie and Henry that they were coming to visit later tonight."

"Will do. So, what do you think of Henry? I only just met him."

"I only just met him today, but my first impression is that he's the best thing to happen in her life. She's happy, Will, for the first time in many years. I think he'll be around a while."

"That's good to know. I'm going to unpack and then see what the plan is for dinner. Be back soon." Walking out, Will shut the door and leaned against it and sighed. Family was stressful.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I hope you like this one.

Chapter 25

Will entered the kitchen to find Henry and Elizabeth standing next to the stove. They were each stirring something and talking quietly. Will had no idea what Henry said, but Elizabeth giggled and then he reached over and tickled her. She squealed and jumped back holding the spoon out in front of her.

"Don't you dare," she warned.

"Or you'll what?" Henry wanted to know.

"I'll beat you with this spoon!"

"Promise?" Henry asked with a devilish grin. Before Elizabeth could make a move, he stepped forward, snatched the spoon away from her and pulled her close, kissing her playfully.

Will watched for a few seconds amazed at the change in his sister. She was more relaxed than she had been-ever. Even as a young girl, she was always high strung, anxious and a meticulous busy body annoying him to no end. This person was laid back, funny and likeable. He was a fan of Henry already.

"Hey kids let's keep it PG in the common areas," Will kidded.

Elizabeth pulled back from Henry and smiled, "Hey there. Did you get see both of them?"

"Yes. One conversation was uncommonly irritating, the other uncommonly depressing."

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Good news! At least you didn't bring a gold digger home to pilfer the family riches because you're so incredibly stupid. No offense babe." Elizabeth smirked at Henry.

"None taken," Henry rolled his eyes and grinned at her.

"Will laughed, "Once again, I'm the golden child."

"That's what I've been saying for years! See I told you." Elizabeth poked Henry in the arm.

"If you two want to continue to annoy each other, do it over there. I need to finish dinner." Henry chided them.

"No, I'll help," Elizabeth said. "Will there's salad stuff in the fridge. You can get that out."

"Since when did you become Chef Lizzie?"

She laughed at him. "Since never. I can only stir under constant supervision."

"Hey babe, you're progressing. I totally just stepped away and got something out of the fridge, so not constant supervision." Henry grinned at her.

"Just stop!" she laughed and playfully pushed his chest. He caught her hand and kissed it.

"Alright people, cuteness overload. I might vomit!" Will said before burying his head in the fridge. He emerged with lettuce, tomato, carrots, hard boiled eggs and a chunk of cheese. Laying it all out on the counter, he said, "Anyone know where I can find a cutting board?"

"I think it's in that cabinet over there," Elizabeth pointed.

The three continued to work together. In a few more minutes, there was pasta with marinara sauce, Cobb-ish salad and steamed green beans.

"Where's Aunt Brenda?" Elizabeth asked.

"I haven't seen her since I got here. I'll go look." Stepping out into the hallway, Will saw Frederick. "Do you know where Aunt Brenda is?"

"She's with your uncle I believe."

"Thanks Fred."

Will took the steps two at a time. _If I catch them both together, it will be harder for her to dismiss me._ He stopped at the door for a second to catch his breath. He heard their voices. Quietly, Will cracked the door so he could hear better.

"What was the reason the doctor gave for me needing to be quarantined?" Geoffrey was asking his wife.

"The Doctor never said quarantined," Brenda replied coolly, "only that you needed to minimize the risk of getting an infection."

"And yet you've basically banned me to my room. No one ever comes to the house except the handful of people that come in this room anyway. I'm not going to be exposed to any illness in the study that I wouldn't be exposed to here."

"I'm just trying to do what's best for you."

"Will offered to bring everyone up here for dinner, but I think I'll go downstairs instead."

Will wasn't able to see Brenda's face, but he could visibly see she body stiffen. He silently shut the door and took four giant steps backward and then started back toward the door. He had his hand raised to knock when Brenda swing the door open. "Oh good grief!" They both jumped. "Sorry Aunt Brenda. I was just checking in Uncle Geoffrey. I had mentioned that we might eat dinner with him tonight. I came to see if he was up to it."

"He seems to think he's joining you downstairs."

"Oh! Well that's fine, I guess. I'm surprised. He must be feeling better."

"Or he's trying to kill himself. You do whatever you all need to do."

Will looked confused, "I don't know what all is going on, but if you want me to ask him to wait and maybe go downstairs tomorrow morning when he has more down time to rest?"

"I'm just really frustrated by this whole thing. Everything was just fine and now he has all these ideas." Brenda turned and started walking down the hall.

"Do you want us to bring a plate up for you?" Will asked. Silence. "Alrighty then."

Stepping into the room, he saw Geoffrey sitting on the edge of the bed. "You're looking lively!"

"I think I'm going to go downstairs and eat with you kids"

"How much exercise have you been getting while you've been up here? I'm worried that you won't have enough strength to make it downstairs and back up. We're fine with coming up here tonight and you can get downstairs tomorrow." Will put his hand on Uncle Geoffrey's shoulder.

"Admittedly I am a lot weaker now than I was even a few weeks ago. Maybe that's a good idea."

"If it's ok with you, I will call your doctor and see if we can get you doing a few exercises to get your strength back. Nothing crazy, but something that will allow you to be able to get around the house on your own. At least for now."

"Yes, at least for now."

"Let me help you to the recliner and we'll all be up in a minute." Will helped Geoffrey shuffle to the chair and then he went back down to get Lizzie and Henry.

Within 5 minutes, they brought their food and a plate for Brenda and Geoffrey. Will got out the TV tray and arranged everything within Geoffrey's reach. Henry pulled in a couple of chairs from his and Elizabeth's bedrooms. Elizabeth went to knock on Brenda's door.

"Aunt Brenda. Dinner is ready. Would you please join us?"

Not getting an answer, she knocked louder. Brenda threw the door open. "No, I don't want to join you. I want you to leave." Brenda slammed the door in Elizabeth's face.

"Okay. Well, if you get hungry, your plate will be in Geoffrey's room. Have a great night," Elizabeth said in the cheeriest voice she could muster and then flipped her off through the door and smirked before walking back into the room with the others.

The four of them had the best time Elizabeth could ever remember spending with her family since her parents died. Geoffrey told many stories of her father, Gregory, and the antics of their youth. He followed with stories of when Gregory met Sarah. All were stories that Will and Elizabeth had never heard before. Henry sat on the floor of Geoffrey's bedroom leaning against the bed. Elizabeth was sitting between his legs listening to Geoffrey tell all of the stories of his childhood. Every once in a while she would lean back and give him a quick kiss. He rubbed her shoulders and listened to her laugh, a sound that he never tired of hearing. It was late and it was obvious that Geoffrey was tired. Will offered to help him get ready for bed and Elizabeth and Henry took the dinner dishes down to clean up.

It took about an hour to get everything cleaned up, dishwasher loaded and running. "It's 1 am," Elizabeth mumbled, sleep about to overtake her.

"It seemed like a good night though. I'm glad you got that time with your Uncle and Will." Henry took Elizabeth by the waist and popped her up in the kitchen island. "What did you think?"

"I loved it. I really wish something like that would've happened when we came here so many years ago. I feel like I just met an Uncle I didn't know I had. He was never unkind, not like Brenda, but he was always so distant." Elizabeth lamented.

"Well, maybe the facing your own mortality changes your perspective. You want to make those connections if you haven't already. I'm glad we are here so you are able to do that."

"Yes, I suppose so, but I'd really like to avoid thinking about that right now. Oh, remind me to make that phone call tomorrow."

Henry leaned in and hugged Elizabeth. "Are you ready for bed, babe?"

"More than," she said, leaning in to kiss him.

"Come on then," practicing a walk that they would do countless times in their lives, he took her hand and led her upstairs.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Will hung up the phone as Elizabeth walked into the kitchen. "Good morning."

"Hey sis. Come here." Will looked unsettled.

"What?" Concern clouded her features.

Will lowered his voice. "I had told Uncle Geoffrey that I would call his doctor to see if he could start some simple exercises to get some of his strength back. Just sitting in that room, he's wasting away."

Elizabeth nodded, "That sounds like a great idea. What did you find out?"

"Well I called the doctor that was listed on his prescription bottles, a Dr. Marcus Johansson. I talked to the receptionist and the head nurse. Neither have any knowledge of Geoffrey being a patient of Dr. Johansson."

"What are you saying?"

"Well, at the very least I'm saying that some doctor is prescribing medications to Uncle Geoffrey off the books." Will shifted uncomfortably.

Elizabeth was pale. She put her hand on Will's shoulder and leaned in, "Yesterday Geoffrey asked me to call his lawyer and make sure that I get Brenda out of the house while he's here. He knows something is amiss too." She took a deep breath. "Surely you don't think she's trying to kill him?"

"I've been mulling that over since I heard them talking yesterday. I didn't think so, but this whole prescription thing points to nothing good."

Henry came walking into the kitchen and seeing the serious discussion, turned to leave. "Henry," she hissed, "Get back in here."

Henry shifted his eyes between them. "What's going on?" They filled him in and the three agreed that they needed to speak to Uncle Geoffrey alone and they needed to get him to a real doctor to have him checked out. Will agreed to call a few people to find a pulmonologist to see Uncle Geoffrey as soon as possible. Elizabeth made a quick call to the lawyer and made the appointment and then she and Henry went up to see Uncle Geoffrey. When he didn't answer the door, Elizabeth tried to open it. Finding it locked, she paled. "This isn't right Henry."

He nodded in agreement. "Step back," Henry took a step back and kicked the door, just below the knob. The door splintered but didn't give all the way. It was enough though that with a good shove, the wood around the knob busted and they pushed in. Brenda was sitting on the bed with Geoffrey. "What the hell Lizzie?" Geoffrey asked.

"Brenda, you need to get away from him." Elizabeth commanded.

"You don't get to tell me what to do," she said coldly, still focused on her task of drawing medicine into a syringe.

"Uncle Geoffrey, she's giving you prescription medication from a guy that has no record of treating you. Do you know what she's giving you? I'm beginning to question if you're even sick. Or if the medications are causing all of your problems."

Brenda finished filling the syringe and started to inject it.

"Elizabeth yelled, "NO!"

Brenda was distracted just for a moment, but it was enough that Henry stepped in and grabbed her wrist removing the syringe before she had the chance to do anything with it.

Geoffrey was white as a sheet. "Brenda. No. Tell me that what Lizzie said isn't true." Brenda only stared at him with cold, dark eyes. "Oh God, what have you done?"

"38 years. 38 years I put up with you. I put my time in. This-" she spat, making a grand sweep of the room, "this is mine. I put in the time. Then Jack and Jill over here show up," she said pointing to Elizabeth and Will, who had just stepped to the doorway, "and you're going to give it to them. There's a reason we never had children. I don't want to share. I want it all."

"You couldn't have children." Geoffrey studied her, realization spreading across his face replacing confusion with despair. "How many?" he asked, his voice breaking, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Four that I had to take care of. After that my body figured out what it needed to do." Henry felt physically ill, Elizabeth had fallen back against him and at this point, he was literally holding her up. He felt her chest heaving and he turned her into him. She buried her face in his shoulder. Will stood next to Henry, mouth hanging open, unable to comprehend what was playing out before him. They were all fixated on Geoffrey. The tears just fell in crooked paths down his face.

"I loved you for so many years. I thought your anger and meanness was a result of so much loss, but now hearing that you caused it. I cannot even begin to understand that kind of evil. Then finding out that I had this lung disease the week after the kids came to live with us." He stopped and glared at her. "Dealing with my own mortality after losing my brother. You know how hard that was. Tell me, do I have anything wrong with me at all, or was that part of your elaborate plan too."

Brenda said nothing. She just stared at him. Geoffrey refocused his attention, "Lizzie, when did you tell us that you were dating Henry? I'll guess that it was about six months ago."

Elizabeth pulled away from Henry and looked at her Uncle, "it was probably toward the end of June."

"That fits, he said, now talking to Will and Elizabeth. "I had told Brenda after that phone call that I needed to rework my will to include a trust to be created for any great-nephews or nieces that we may have. I know that was premature, but it was just something that crossed my mind. The next week it was harder to breath and the doctor said that my lung disease was taking off and he increased all of my medications. I've been confined to my room pretty much since then."

For the first time since entering the room. Will spoke, his question aimed at Brenda, "What are we going to find in that syringe?"

Brenda shrugged. Will stepped back into the hallway. "Frederick!" he shouted.

Within a few seconds a winded Frederick came flying up the stairs, "Yes, William. Is something wrong?"

"Yes. So many things are wrong! Can you call 911 and request an ambulance and the police? Let Otto know to have the gate open. Meet them downstairs and bring them up when they get here. None of us will be moving." Will eyed Brenda as he spoke.

Frederick was obviously surprised but only said, "of course sir," and disappeared back down the stairs. The next several minutes were tense as they all just looked at each other. They could hear sirens in the distance and as they got louder, Brenda started squirming in her spot on the chair next to Geoffrey.

"Could you sit still? I would think that by this point you would've mastered that seemingly trivial skill." Brenda turned to look at Elizabeth, who stared back at her with no emotion at all.

Frederick made his way up the stairs followed by 2 paramedics and 2 police officers. "William," he said.

"Thank you Frederick," Will said, and looking at the completely frustration and confusion on his face , continued, "I'll call you later. If you could make sure all of the staff is available later this afternoon. Elizabeth and I will need to talk to everyone."

"Yes sir," Frederick said before disappearing.

The paramedics were directed to check Geoffrey's vital signs. Once they gave the okay, he told his story to the police and said that he wanted to press charges. Brenda was taken into custody. All of his medications were gathered to be taken to the hospital first so the medical team would know what he had been given, then logged as evidence. It seemed that for the time being, Geoffrey was in no immediate danger, but he was taken to the hospital to have a thorough exam. Will rode in the ambulance while Henry and Elizabeth followed.

Pulling into the parking lot, Henry parked the car. Elizabeth started to get out, but her caught hold of her arm. "This is a lot. How are you?"

"I don't even know. The whole thing is ridiculous! It's like being in the middle of this weird episode of 20/20. It doesn't happen in real people's lives. Henry, she was trying to kill Uncle Geoffrey. For all we know, whatever was in that syringe may have been lethal. What if we were ten minutes later going upstairs? What if we had just gone away when the door was locked?" Her voice started to break. Tears were welling up. "I wonder if she ever tried to kill Will and me."

"Come here. You got to him in time. You knew from the time we arrived that something wasn't right. You and Will saved Geoffrey's life. Focus on that part, ok? Let's pray that whatever has been happening is reversible and if he actually has this lung disease, that it can be treated and he'll be around a lot longer."

"Did you ever think that your family would be the normal one?" Elizabeth looked at him sincerely and Henry found it incredibly funny.

"I'm not sure I'd ever go with normal, but on a scale, maybe more normal than yours! Elizabeth laughed and he pulled her close so their foreheads touched. "Let me know what you need from me. I am here for you." Henry kissed her gently.

"Just be with me please."

"Always."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: I had a totally lazy weekend, so I cranked out about 5 chapters. That means for at least for the next few days, there will be an update every day. I really hope to get to the point where I can start writing one-shots from their life (which was the original idea) in 4-5 chapters. It may not happen that way because who thought Elizabeth's Aunt would be trying to kill her Uncle. I certainly had no idea! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 27

The next couple days were a whirlwind. Tests confirmed that the vast majority of the symptoms Geoffrey was experiencing were caused by the medications rather than actual lung dysfunction. However due to the prolonged period of time that he was taking a low dose, 6 years, there had been some damage done. Some of the prescriptions needed to be reduced slowly so as not to exacerbate the side effects. Basically in a month or so, he would be off of everything and hopefully be back close to normal. Psychologically speaking, the damage was far greater. Geoffrey struggled greatly coming to terms with what his wife had done and was trying to do.

It was Wednesday afternoon. Elizabeth and Will had needed to go to the police station to be interviewed about what they knew of the situation. Henry stayed back to sit with Geoffrey. They had a chess game set up on the hospital tray table. Henry sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Geoffrey to make a move. Geoffrey sighed deeply and ran his hands through this graying brown hair. "Do you know what the most unfathomable thing about this whole situation is?" Henry could identify at least 10 things he couldn't get past, but he just waited for Geoffrey to continue. "Do you have any idea how much I wanted a child? We talked about it when we were dating. My only sibling was Gregory and Brenda was an only child. I loved the idea of a big family. I loved children and she said she did too. We were going to have a big family. Then once we were married, it took her a long time to get pregnant and she miscarried, or so I thought. Again and again we went through that heartbreak. We both went to the doctor and there seemed to be no reason she shouldn't be able to get pregnant and stay pregnant. Except now I see that I was the only one whose heart was breaking. She killed them Henry. She killed our babies because she wanted all of the money. What kind of person does that to their spouse?" He dropped his head in his hands and cried. "Looking back on the past few years, I can plainly see things that happened that were red flags, yet I never questioned her motives. I told myself she became so hard hearted because of all of the loss we endured. I told myself that she loved me. I feel like such a fool."

"King Solomon said,'Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.' You were unable to see Brenda's faults because of your love for her. Similarly, each step she took in the opposite direction limited her ability to do right."

"Perhaps. Then I think about what would've happened if you kids hadn't come home. It took you 2 days to figure out what I hadn't seen in 6 years. She would've killed me Henry. That's humbling. I literally owe my life to you."

"Well, Will was the one who had the wherewithal to call the doctor. The rest was just speculation. Maybe the Adams kids have a future in detective work."

"Yes, maybe they will. And it looks like I'll be around long enough to see it."

"And we're all happy about that."

They continued their game of chess and before too long, Elizabeth and Will returned. "Hey," Will said, entering the room, "we just ran into the doctor in the hallway. He'll be in to visit in a few minutes."

Henry sat down on the recliner and pulled Elizabeth down to sit on his lap. "How was it?" he asked.

"Umm. It was harder than I thought it would be," she murmured, not necessarily wanting Geoffrey and Will to hear.

Just then the doctor knocked and came into the room. "Mr. Adams. You are looking better. In a few days, the majority of medications will be out of your system. How are you feeling?"

"I'm breathing better than I have for several months, but I'm very weak."

"I would say that is expected." Today we'll remove the IV so you can get around and I'll send a physical therapist up to start some strengthening exercises."

"That sounds great."

"Do you have any questions?" the doctor gestured to the rest of the family members. Everyone shook their heads. When the doctor left, Elizabeth turned and looked at Henry.

"Want to take a walk and talk about it?"

She didn't answer, but stood up and went over to her Uncle and Will. "If it's alright, Henry and I are going to take a walk. We'll be back in a bit. Do you want us to bring dinner back?"

"That sounds great Lizzie. The doctor finally lifted the restriction on my diet earlier today. I can have whatever you want to bring back!" Geoffrey smiled and she leaned in for a hug.

"Any requests? Will?"

"Whatever you bring will be wonderful," Geoffrey said.

Before she turned to go, she put her hand on Will's shoulder and he placed his hand on top of hers, giving it a squeeze. They smiled at each other

She and Henry walked down the hall silently, hand in hand. It wasn't until they made it outside that she spoke. "I found out that what was in the syringe would've killed him."

"Oh God, babe," Henry pulled her close as they walked together.

"Yeah. She had systematically upping the dosage of whatever the neurotoxin was. They told me the name but I can't remember. Anyway, that's why he'd been having so many more problems recently. Brenda confessed the whole thing. She found out that he had never changed his will to include Will and I and she wanted to make sure he didn't get the chance. It was her hope that he'd be dead before Christmas, but it was just lucky that he had developed some immunity to the neurotoxin. It was taking more than she expected to do the damage. She had run out before Christmas and had to wait for the new vial to ship. It had come Tuesday morning and that's what she was doing."

"Wow. I can't even wrap my head around that. How do people get so twisted in their head that they can't see the evil they are doing?" Henry was at a loss.

"Maybe it's like we talked about the other day. Maybe she didn't have enough spiritual guidance to call her to task. My Aunt was never big on friends. She and Geoffrey went to social things but those people were no more than acquaintances. She disliked most of them, at least based on what she would say when she came home. She would never confide in Frederick or Maria, She was trying to kill Geoffrey. Who would be her touchstone? Maybe that's the part that missing?"

"It could be partly that and partly mental illness. No one who is sane plots like she did over almost 40 years. I'm thankful that you and Will were at the right place at the right time."

"Yeah. It's amazing that since Will and I hadn't been together for more than a year, we would show up at the same time and see the same things, when we can never get along on anything. The poison running out, shipping being delayed because of Christmas. Some many coincidences."

"You know what I'm going to say about that, right?" Henry smiled at her.

"Even I'm willing to give God some credit for this one," Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Henry's waist as they walked. After walking a bit in silence, she stopped and turned to him, "I've got a lot of thoughts that I don't know what to do with. Brenda's always been so relentlessly mean to me. There was a time when I thought I hated her. Then I decided I didn't and I just felt sorry for someone who was so angry all of the time. Now, knowing all that she's done, I'm indifferent. I really think that if they stuck her in the electric chair today, I could go watch her be executed and it wouldn't bother me. Like, not at all. I might even get satisfaction from it. That's a very scary prospect, Henry. What did she go through in her life to make her so indifferent to the value of life? She aborted her babies. She tried to kill her husband before her could add our names to the will. Because of money? How does one get to that point? And the idea that I feel no sadness at her potentially losing her life-does that put me in the same boat? I'd like to believe that I could never be like her, but right now it doesn't seem impossible."

"Babe. I can tell you that you are not even close to ever, even remotely, being like her. It's natural to be angry and even vengeful when someone wrongs you. Our human nature is to be self-serving. What separates the good people is that they can honestly look at their emotions and identify them, seeing them for what they are. They are just feelings, acting on feelings alone can get us into all sorts for trouble. If you will remember, I just did that not too long ago-acting on feelings alone and it could've cost me you. You are identifying all of these emotions as they come up. I know you won't act on them, and I'm betting that you wouldn't really get satisfaction seeing Brenda die. Give yourself some time to process this. It's a lot."

"It is and it definitely makes Maureen look so much more personable!" Elizabeth laughed.

Henry laughed too and hugged her, "See! That's the spirit!" Henry ghosted over her lips. "I will happily be your touchstone. Just keep talking. Everything will work out. Just give it time." Elizabeth threaded her finger through his hair and pulled his head down so their lips touched softly.

"Let's go get some dinner so we can eat and then get back to the house. I'm ready to curl up with you in bed. I want you close to me." He kissed her with such tenderness that her heart felt like it may burst.

"That's the best idea ever! How about Chinese?"

"The greasy kind? I know where we can get some!"

"Fabulous!"


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: This is one of those in-between chapters that tie up loose ends. I hope it's not too boring.

Chapter 28

After sharing dinner with Will and Uncle Geoffrey. Henry and Elizabeth made their way back to the house. Though neither of them said it, they were feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. Pulling into the drive, Otto stepped out of He gatehouse to inquire about Geoffrey. He was pleased with the positive report and they headed up the drive. Walking into the house, Elizabeth was greeted by Frederick and gave him the update as well. Henry headed upstairs while she stepped into the kitchen to grab a couple water bottles from the fridge.

It only took her a few minutes but by the time she made it to the bedroom, Henry had candles lit and soft music playing. She could hear the water running in the bath. "Oh Mr. McCord, have I told you today just how good you are?"

"Why Miss Adams, you haven't, but I have a feeling you are about to show me."

She grinned against his lips and she kissed him with everything she had. Pulling apart for air, she pecked him on the lips and said, "I think I have a bath calling my name."

"I'll be waiting." He kicked back on the bed and listened to her singing to herself. She was so incredibly off key, but it was completely adorable. Chuckling, he picked up his book. He was bound and determined to get it read before the end of break.

Elizabeth emerged an hour later, wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, hair clipped on top of her head. Walking into Henry's room, she stopped in the doorway and smiled. Henry was laying on the bed, book in hand, fast asleep, glasses perched precariously on the end of his nose. He was so handsome laying there, Elizabeth was overwhelmed by the love she felt for Henry. She stood there for a few minutes just taking the scene before her.

She crawled onto the bed and knelt beside him. Removing his glasses, she placed them on the side table along with his book. She ran her fingertips along his jaw, then settled her hand on his chest. Henry started to stir and she took his top lip in her mouth, sucking on it gently. He smiled against her mouth and flipped them, landing on top and pinning her to the mattress. She shrieked as he plunged his tongue in her mouth. One hand was in her hair, the other on her hip. She had one hand on his cheek and other on his back pulling him closer. Within minutes, he was grinding against her and she was so wet. Elizabeth was losing her mind. "H-Hen-Henry, you have to stop."

"I want to see you come,"Henry panted.

"Baby, no! Not without you. I want to wait for you. Oh God." She pushed at Henry's chest and he rolled off of her. They both lay there side by side, chests heaving, trying to calm down.

A few minutes passed. "Henry," she laced her fingers in his.

"Yeah," he pulled her hand to his lips.

Elizabeth leaned up on her elbow and studied him. "I'm ready."

Henry looked at her. "Really?" She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, really."

"Good." He kissed her and stood to pull back the covers. Helping her under the blanket, he climbed in after and cuddled up behind Elizabeth spooning her.

"I love you Henry."

"I like you ok too, babe."

Henry woke but kept his eyes closed for a few minutes. He felt the rise and fall of Elizabeth's chest pressed against his. He smiled thinking about last night. Elizabeth said she was ready for marriage. He was elated. He pondered his proposal trying to decide what he would do. Secretly, he hoped they would be back to his place by New Year's Eve, but with all that was going on with Geoffrey, he didn't know if they would end up sticking to their original plan or not. He'd have to just roll with it.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and shifted himself out of bed and went to shower.

She was still asleep when he was out of the shower. He quickly dressed and went downstairs to make some sort of breakfast. Entering the kitchen, Henry saw Will seated at the table drinking a cup of coffee. "Good morning," he said, "Did you already make breakfast?"

"Good morning," Will responded, "I don't usually eat breakfast, so I just made a pot of coffee."

"Mind if I have a cup?" Henry asked, pulling a package of bacon from the fridge.

"Sure. I only drink a cup or two. There's plenty for everyone."

Henry pulled the skillet out of the cabinet and set it on the stove. He set a cup out and poured the coffee and sat down with Will. "Do you have a minute? I have a question."

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

Henry hadn't really planned what he was going to say, so he stumbled a bit. "Uh, yeah. Will, here's the deal. I love Elizabeth and I know that we haven't really had a chance to get to know each other well, but I was wanting to know if you had any problem with me marrying her."

Will laughed and clapped Henry on the shoulder, "I'm here to tell you that I've found Lizzie more likeable in the past few days than I have my entire life. Whatever you are doing agrees with her. I don't know that you need my blessing, but you most certainly have it."

"Thanks Will," Henry let out a sigh of relief. One down, one to go. "If you don't mind, can we keep this between us? I'm not sure when I'm going to propose, so I'd like it to be a surprise."

"You got it. I'm going to head out and try to catch the pulmonologist on his rounds this morning. I'll see you later."

Henry smiled to himself as he rounded the corner to fry the bacon. He was nearly finished when Elizabeth came into the room. "Hey there. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a while. But, I woke up this morning worried about Uncle Geoffrey."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Well, I was just thinking that they were together a long time. So far, he doesn't seem to be that upset that she plotted and planned all of this. I just hope he has someone to talk to about it. That's a big betrayal."

"He talked to me about it a little bit yesterday while you and Will were out. I think it will work itself out over time. Of course, every time something else comes up, he'll have to go through it all again." Henry changed direction, ""I was going to have breakfast and then we can get going. Do you want some?"

"Good idea. I love bacon," she said stealing a piece from the serving plate."If it's ok, I'd like to go visit Maria today too."

In no time, they were headed to the hospital to visit Uncle Geoffrey. When they arrived, they found him sitting in a chair. "Good morning," Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You are looking really good today."

"Yes. I'm starting to feel more like myself too. You just missed Will. He was headed back to the house to pick up some things for me. The doctor said I could go home today after I have my physical therapy appointment. We'll arrange for the therapist to come to the house to do the exercises with me and in a few weeks, I should be good to go.

"That's so great!" Elizabeth was happy for him and thankful that it looked like she would get many more years to really get to know him.

"We won't stay too long since you're going to be coming home pretty soon, but I wanted to ask you about Maria."

"Did she have the baby?" Geoffrey wanted to know.

"Not yet. Henry and I are going to see her today. I was wondering if you had a problem with me offering Maria her job back after she has the baby and takes some time off."

"What do you mean offer her job back?"

"Otto said that Brenda fired her a couple months ago. She's probably ready to have the baby now, but I thought it would be nice if I could tell her that she could come back whenever she's ready."

"How long do you think it will take me to fix all the damage she did?" Geoffrey had the unmistakable look of despair in his eyes.

Elizabeth sat on the arm of the chair and wrapped an arm around her Uncle Geoffrey. "I don't know if you'll ever know the true extent to everything she's done." She laid her head on to top his. "We stopped her from doing the worst thing though."

"Yes. Although, I'm not sure that I would agree we stopped her from her worst act." Elizabeth squeezed his hand while he mourned the loss of children he didn't know existed until days ago.

Will returned with a suitcase Frederick put together and it was agreed that he would bring Geoffrey home. Elizabeth and Henry would go visit Maria and make sure she knew that she had a job to return to after the baby. Saying their goodbyes, Henry and Elizabeth left the room. "We need to make a stop before we leave if that's ok."

"Uh, sure, whatever you want."

Elizabeth stopped at the information desk at the entrance. "Can you please tell me who I need to speak with about paying a patient's account?"

"Is this your account?"

"No. This is for an acquaintance who is having a baby in the next few weeks."

"I don't know if you can do that. Pat is the name of the lady you want to talk to. Let me see if I can get her on the phone." The girl, whose name tag read 'Laura,' spoke to someone and hanging up, she said, "Pat will be right out. You can have a seat right over there."

Elizabeth joined Henry who had sat down when she approached the desk. "Are we ready?"

"Not yet. As usual, I'm causing problems."

A middle aged woman stepped to the desk and spoke with Laura. The girl motioned toward Elizabeth who stood and walked over to the woman. "Are you Pat? I'm Elizabeth Adams."

The woman nodded and Henry watched as Elizabeth started talking. Whatever Elizabeth wanted, the woman was obviously not wanting to do it. Henry chuckled to himself as Elizabeth straightened and squared her shoulders. " _Here we go,"_ Henry mused, " _that woman has no idea what she's about to encounter."_ Henry had only seen her do it a few times, but when Elizabeth was set on getting her way, she was a force to be reckoned with. There was a lot of Elizabeth talking and the other woman listening with wide eyes, then some agreeable head nodding and Elizabeth smiling. She reached into her purse and produced her checkbook. She quickly wrote a check and handed it to the woman. She shook her hand and thanked her before motioning to Henry. "You are hot," Henry said sliding his hand around her waist as they walked out.

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"Back there. When you go up against someone to get what you want, you put out this vibe and I find it totally hot. You should really do it more often." He pulled her close and kissed her cheek.

Eizabeth rolled her eyes at Henry. "I will say that was the hardest I've ever had to work to give someone money. Let's go."

Elizabeth directed Henry to Manny and Maria's house. He was a little surprised that Elizabeth knew how to get to their house, but by now he suspected it was for the same reason that she sat in the gatehouse for hours and did lawn work with Joe and Manny.

She led him through a garden gate of a really cute house, but instead of going up the front steps to the door, they walked on a narrow path around the side of the house to the backyard. There was a large 2 car detached garage with a set of wooden steps up the side. She went up the steps and knocked on the door. It took a minute, but then the door opened, "Lizzie!" squealed the woman from inside. Elizabeth stepped in pulling Henry behind her. She gave the woman a huge hug and stepped back.

"Maria, you look fantastic! I've missed you so much" Maria led them to a couch and offered them a drink. "Maria I'd like you to meet Henry McCord." They shook hands.

"Manny told me all about seeing you. I miss everyone so much. How's Frederick? Manny doesn't see him often. And Mr. Geoffrey, is he doing better? I couldn't believe it when Manny told me everything that happened. It explains a lot though."

"Frederick is fine, Geoffrey is getting out of the hospital today and should be fully recovered in a month or so. And what do you mean it explains a lot?"

"Well, why I was fired of course." Maria looked surprised that Elizabeth wasn't following.

"Why were you fired?"

"She told me it was because I could no longer do my job satisfactorily. We all know that was a bunch of bunk. Knowing what we all know now, the real reason was because I questioned her about why Mr. Geoffrey couldn't get outside and have some fresh air. I pushed Ms. Brenda on it saying it would help him and the next day I didn't have a job.

"Ah, I see,"

"Of course, I never had any idea that she was up to no good. I just thought she was being overprotective, but I think she thought I was on to what she was up to."

"I think we all hoped she was just being cautious. So, when are you due?"

"In two weeks."

"That's so exciting. I know you've waited a long time for this baby."

Maria grinned, "Yes, we have." They continued to talk and Maria showed Elizabeth a few of the special things they had received for the baby.

Elizabeth held up a tiny little knitted sweater and hat." I cannot wrap my head around caring for someone his small. It's crazy."

"You know I'll expect you to come back here so you can visit us."

"Absolutely! That reminds me. I don't know that you are interested in coming back to your old job right now since you are so close to having the baby, but Geoffrey wanted to make sure you know that after the baby is born, and whenever you are feeling up to it, you are welcome to your old job and you can bring the baby with you."

"You're kidding?" Maria asked, stunned.

"No, I'm not kidding. If you don't want to come back, I'm sure that's fine. Geoffrey just wanted to let you know you are welcome to."

Maria was crying, "No, that's not it at all. Manny and I have been so worried about money, with me losing my job early and then having to pay daycare, we couldn't figure out how to make it work. This is such a blessing! Thank you, God!" Maria threw her hands in the air.

"I think Geoffrey will be more than happy to hear you are returning. He had no idea you had even been fired until I told him this morning. We'd better go, but if you need anything, don't hesitate to call or let us know. We're happy to help out."

"Thank you for coming over. I'm so glad I got to see you. Say hi to Will for me," then Maria leaned in and whispered, "and I like Henry. He seems like a great guy and you deserve a great guy." Maria gave her a hug.

Elizabeth smiled at her, "Thanks. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you that I got something for the baby, Well mostly for you and Manny, but kind of in honor of the baby. You'll have to wait until he or she is born, but I hope you like it."

"I know that whatever it is, we will love it. On your way out, look behind the garage. You'll find the apple tree you gave us for our wedding present. Last year we had so many apples, we shared with all of our friends and had a bunch to donate too. It was awesome!"

Elizabeth grinned. "I'm glad it is producing. Remember how much trouble Manny got in when he ate that apple off the tree in the backyard. I thought Brenda was going to fire him, over an apple. Just one more example of that woman's craziness!" Elizabeth sobered, "well, good news is that Manny will be able to pick those apples this year and maybe you can give more away."

Maria smiled, "Yes, that's what we'll do."

When they got back in the car, Henry eyed Elizabeth. "What?" she asked kind of exasperated.

"I cannot believe that you could ever question whether or not you are a good person. I know full well what you did for Manny and Maria and that will likely be a life-changing gift for them. You are a blessing to everyone you meet! Don't forget it!" Henry pulled her into a passionate kiss. "Especially to me," he murmured as he kissed her again.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

By the time they returned to the house, Will and Geoffrey were back and Geoffrey was sitting in the front room when they walked in. "Now this is what I should be seeing when I walk into this house," Elizabeth smiled at Uncle Geoffrey. "Where's Will?"

"He's in the study with Frederick. They are trying to figure out if they can convert it to a makeshift bedroom for me for a while."

"I'll go help," Elizabeth said. Turning to Henry, she asked, "Are you coming?"

"I'll follow in just a minute." Elizabeth went on down the hall to the study. Henry sat down next to Geoffrey. "Do you mind if we talk a moment?"

"Of course not, Henry."

"I feel bad that I haven't been able to get to know you like I'd hoped."

"I'll forgive you since there was that whole 'my wife was trying to kill me' debacle!"

Henry laughed, "Well yeah, there was that." He became serious. "I've been dating Elizabeth almost a year now and I want you to know that I love her and I think we're ready to take the next step. I'd like to ask your blessing to propose to her."

"Well I didn't see that coming." Geoffrey said. Henry's face fell. "Oh no! Wait! I didn't mean that. Not at all. I only meant that I thought asking for someone's hand was kind of an old-fashioned thing. I didn't realize kids did that now."

"Well, I fall into the old-fashioned camp in many ways. I know that Elizabeth is fully capable of taking care of herself, but I want to take care of her anyway. I want to be there for her and help her be everything that God intended her to be. She's the most incredible person I know and I just want to be by her side, always."

"You're a good man Henry, and I could tell immediately how much she loves you. I would be happy to give you my blessing, and even more so, I'm happy that I will probably still be around for the joyous occasion."

"That makes us all happy. If you don't mind, please don't mention it to her. I haven't decided how or when I'm going to propose. I'd like it to be a surprise."

"I'm sure you'll choose the perfect time and place. It will be special to her, no matter what you do."

"Thank you." Henry stood and extended his hand to shake it, but Geoffrey grabbed his hand and pulled him down to a hug.

"I'd say welcome to the family, but I'm not so sure that promise is very enticing. Maybe it should be more like 'I can't believe you're still here.'" Geoffrey and Henry both laughed. Henry stepped away to see how he could help the others with the bedroom conversion.

By the time Henry made it to the study, pretty well everything was set up. Elizabeth was turning the TV, so Geoffrey could see it from both the bed and the recliner. She'd picked up a wicker basket and gathered everything that she knew belonged to Brenda, removing it and taking it upstairs to her bedroom. Stepping into the room made Elizabeth feel nauseous. She set the basket inside the door and closed it quickly behind her. Pushing it out of her mind, she headed back downstairs.

After dinner, Elizabeth and Will spent some time discussing their plans for the upcoming weeks. No one had planned on making it past Tuesday and now they were debating about how long they thought each could stay to help with Geoffrey's recovery.

"Oh for goodness sakes, kids, I'm sure I can manage. Frederick gets paid to keep track of me." They both frowned at him and he rolled his eyes, "I think you two were much easier to deal with when you didn't get along."

Since Will had made plans for the second week of January, it was decided that Elizabeth would go home on Saturday as planned and depending on how Geoffrey was doing, she would come back the second week of January before classes started the following week. They hoped that two weeks would be enough time to get him back in his feet. And it worked out that Henry had an ROTC training and would be gone that week anyway.

Friday evening, as they were packing up most of their things, Henry seemed distant. Elizabeth tried to talk to him a few times and she just got one word answers if that. Elizabeth finally gave up and went downstairs. She found Will in the kitchen.

"What are you up to?" she asked.

"Not much. You?" Will responded, not looking up from the magazine he was perusing.

"Just packing up to leave tomorrow." She paused, deciding if she should ask Will about Henry's odd behavior. "Umm, have you talked to Henry today? He's acting weird."

"What's he doing that's weird?" Will asked, looking away from what he was reading.

"He's distracted, not answering questions or only giving one word answers. He's just not himself."

"I'm sure he's fine Lizzie."

"I don't know. Maybe I should go ask him."

"Leave him be, Lizzie. This entire week has been stressful. Maybe he's just a little overwhelmed. Listen, give him a few days before you go all crazy girlfriend on him, ok?" Will had a feeling Henry's problem had a lot to do with the talk they had the other day.

"Do you know something I don't?" she asked, boring into him with her dark eyes.

"I highly doubt it, but I am a guy and sometimes you just need some space. When a guy takes a step back, it doesn't necessarily mean something bad."

"You seem to have a lot of knowledge in this area, you with a long time girlfriend and all."

"Maybe I would have a girlfriend if they didn't get all possessive and act crazy when I need some space." Will raised his eyebrows at her.

"You win." Elizabeth raised her hands in defeat. "Hey, really though, it's been a good week. I'm glad we got to hang out."

"Yeah, I only called you crazy once and that was just now. Must be a record or something," he smirked.

"Goodnight Will."

G'night Lizzie."

She went back to her room, finished packing, slipped a tank top and pj pants on for bed, and stepped into the bathroom to collect her things. Glancing through the adjoining doorway, she could see Henry laying on the bed. She peeked her head through the doorway. Henry lay on the bed, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, ankles crossed, hands behind his head, eyes closed. She could tell he wasn't asleep. She stayed there for a few moments, just watching him.

"Your staring is bordering on creepy," he said turning toward her, grinning.

"I thought creepy was the new caring," she said, sauntering around the end of the bed. She skimmed her fingers up his bare leg. He shivered under her touch. Placing her hands in his chest, she leaned over him. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I've just been thinking through some things."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Eventually, but not now." He locked his hands around her biceps and pulled her across his body and rolled over on top of her. "I'm busy with other things."

Laughing at him, she wrapped her arms around Henry's back. He placed open mouthed kisses on her neck. Pulling her strap down over her shoulder, Henry ran his tongue over her collarbone, then worked his way back up her jaw, nipping at her earlobe. Elizabeth squirmed under his weight. Slipping her hands back around, she cupped his face and pulled him closer to her. Covering his mouth with hers, she licked his upper lip and he opened his mouth inviting her in. She explored his mouth with her tongue, sliding past his running along the roof of his mouth. Henry groaned and grabbed her ass pulling her into him. She turned her head to the side, needing air. "We need to stop meeting like this," she huffed out.

"You are so beautiful," he kissed her cheek. "Wanna play Scrabble?'

"Scrabble isn't really on my list of want-to's right now,"

"Oh really? I thought you loved Scrabble." Their foreheads and noses touched.

"I do, but right now I'd love to do other things." ELizabeth's eyes were blown wide

with lust.

He watched her, "Such as?"

She paused before answering, "I think those things are better left in my head."

Henry grinned, "I'd like to know."

She sighed, the feelings of arousal already beginning to wane. "It would only add to temptation. There's not much point in that." She pushed him to the side and sat up, criss crossing her legs and running her hands through her hair. Henry sat up next to her.

"Hey. Talk to me." Henry took her hand in his and waited.

"I don't even know. I feel like i'm hitting a wall," _This is difficult. Giving names to emotions? It's so much easier to just stuff everything down._ "I don't know how much sense this will make.

I have a lot of words, Henry. Words that I can use to describe all kinds of things. Except emotion. I absolutely suck at putting words to how I feel. I love you so much, but there's no way I can adequately express to you in words the depth of that love. I want to show you. I want you to feel me on the most intimate level." Elizabeth dropped her head into her hands and willed the tears to stay unshed. "And we can't. I can't. And it's frustrating and depressing. And right now, I'm really just over it!" She rolled off of the bed and paced the floor.

Henry fell back on the bed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. After lying there a few seconds, he sat back up and looked at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I wasn't blaming you."

"I know. But that doesn't change me being sorry about it." He held out his hand to her. They linked pinkies and he pulled her closer. "I know how much you love me. I can see it in your eyes. And for the record, it's so much harder than I thought it would be. I guess I was being very naive. Truthfully, I thought I would wait to ask you to marry me until you graduated.

"Are you serious?" Elizabeth was mortified. That was two and a half years away. She sat down on the bed.

"That was the plan, but I think we'd both agree that isn't going to be feasible."

"Not feasible. That's one way to put it." She smirked and put her head on his shoulder.

"You're sure you're ready?"

"I'm so very ready," she said.

"Me too."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Saturday morning was New Years Eve day. They had quite the long drive ahead of them. It would probably take about 8 hours by the time they stopped for lunch. Henry and Elizabeth tried to get on the road early, but by the time they had a bite to eat and said goodbye to Geoffrey, Will and the staff, it was a few minutes after 9 when they finally pulled out.

Elizabeth took the first shift driving since she was more familiar with the route. There was a comfortable silence between them. Henry pretended to read his book, but he was thinking about his proposal.

"Henry," Elizabeth tapped him on the arm, bringing him back from his thoughts. "Geez, you were really a long way away," she said chuckling. "I asked if you wanted to do anything tonight for New Years Eve."

"Oh, uh, yeah, if you want to." Henry mumbled falling back into his thoughts.

Elizabeth was doing her best not to read too much into it, but it was driving her crazy. She chose not to say anything. Of course she was thinking about every possible thing that could be going wrong with their relationship. She thought they had cleared the air last night, only to be plagued by this weird standoffishness again today. Her brain was on overdrive.

"It's almost 1. Do you want to grab some lunch?" Elizabeth asked.

"Would it be alright if we just grabbed fast food and kept driving? I think I'd just like to get back home." Henry looked at her pleadingly.

"Yeah, sure. I guess so." _Turn your mind off Lizzie. Maybe he just misses the normalcy of home. It's not like hanging with your family was anywhere near normal._

She pulled into the next McDonald's and they got their food and hopped back in the car. Henry drove. Elizabeth slowly ate her food while staring out the passenger window wondering what the hell was going on. Henry reached over, putting his hand on her leg, "What do you think about going to Mass with me tonight and then we can go out to celebrate New Years?"

"That's fine," she mumbled still looking out the window, only half listening.

Henry was more relaxed now. He had his plan in place, the one he'd been working on for two days. He sensed the difference in her demeanor and he knew that it had to do with him. Yet, he wasn't sure how to put her at ease without giving her a clue as to what he was up to.

Stopping for gas, Henry got out and went around to her door. "Hey babe, come here."

Reluctantly, Elizabeth stepped from the car. Henry wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her close and spoke softly, "I know I've not been the most attentive the past few days. I'm sorry. I was working something out in my head. I've got it figured out now. I hope I didn't make you mad."

Elizabeth cocked her head at him. "It would help if I knew what you were doing that was causing this upheaval in my life."

"Can I tell you tomorrow?" Henry wanted to know, seeing how his plan should be executed by then.

"I don't see what difference it makes, but ok." Elizabeth conceded.

"Did you know that you agreed to go to Mass with me tonight before we go out?"

"I did. When did I do that?"

"About an hour ago. You said it was ok, but I didn't get the impression you were really listening."

"Well, I may have missed that part, but I will go. We can light a candle for Geoffrey, right? Then we can pick a party to go to?"

"Sounds great. I'll pay for the gas and then we'll get back on the road."

It was a little before 5 when they pulled into the parking lot of Henry's apartment. They each took a couple of bags up with them. "Welcome home," he said, as they walked in the door.

"Welcome home to you!" she giggled. "I still have the one room dungeon."

"You don't have to stay there, you know."

"What?" Elizabeth wrinkled her nose.

Henry turned to face her. "You could live with me."

"Are you sure? That seems like a big step."

He smirked at her and took a step closer putting his hands on her waist. "We've talked about getting married but sharing an apartment seems like a big step. Really? And besides, before break, when was the last time you stayed at the dorm?"

"Point taken." She studied him and her lips turned a slight smile, "I'll think about it."

"I do hope you are at least planning to spend tonight so we can welcome in the New Year together."

"Yeah, I'll pencil that in my day planner," she teased.

They unpacked and scrounged around for something to snack on until they could get a proper dinner. Changing their clothes, they got ready for Mass, planning to eat and go out afterwards.

Henry was trying his hardest to maintain some level of normal but nerves were eating him alive. While Elizabeth was in the living room, he stepped into the bathroom and locked the door. Crouching down, he pulled the bottom drawer all the way out removing his shaving bag. Unzipping it, he smiled as he pulled out the blue velvet box. Opening it, his stomach turned over. He hoped she liked it.

At the time it had been presumptuous, after all, they had only been dating a couple of months. He wasn't really ring shopping at all. He went to the jewelry store for a watch battery, but when he saw this ring, he knew it was THE ring. He put a down payment on it that day and had paid it off the week after Halloween. He'd stashed it in the most out of the way place he could think of, so that Elizabeth wouldn't find it. He actually had kicked himself that he didn't bring it with him over break. If he had, he probably would have proposed the night she told him she was ready. As it was, he didn't think she would suspect anything. He hoped to surprise her. Looking down at the crystal clear princess cut diamond in the center flanked by sapphires, her birthstone (that had been an unexpected bonus because they were so new then that he didn't even know her birthdate). He chuckled to himself though because that evening he called specifically to ask!

He closed the box and tucked it safely in the inside pocket of his jacket. Taking a few deep breaths, he was ready.

Elizabeth's second Mass wasn't quite as mesmerizing as the first. The church near Henry's apartment wasn't nearly as beautiful, architecturally speaking. It was much more modern and she didn't think she liked it as well. With less to look at, she paid more attention to what was happening around her. Henry handed her a book, saying that the large book the priest used was a missal and the shortened version the congregation used was a missalette. It had the order of Mass and all of the prayers in it. It was still a little overwhelming, but having the words to match what everyone else was rattling off was helpful. She at least knew what everyone was saying.

During the sermon, Catholic word homily, she learned from the missalette, Henry held her hand and appeared to be listening, but she knew him well enough to know that his mind was elsewhere. She learned that tomorrow was the feast of Mary, the Mother of God. She actually found the priest's homily interesting as he laid out the argument for the importance of Mary and her position as mother of Jesus, God as man. She wasn't swayed to become Catholic or anything of the sort, but she always appreciated a well stated argument for a position.

During Consecration, when the bells rang, she remembered Henry's story about forgetting to ring the bells as an altar boy. That single moment changed he way he thought about God. She wondered if she would ever have a God moment that was positive.

Afterwards, they waited until most of the people cleared out and went to light a candle in thanksgiving for Geoffrey's good prognosis and then she lit a second one. Henry looked at her with confusion. "It's for Brenda. She needs prayers too." He nodded and prayed for both.

Walking out, almost everyone had left, probably hurrying to New Years Eve festivities. Elizabeth looked over at Henry, "Where do you think we should eat?"

"I'll get back to you in a minute on that." He stopped Elizabeth and turned her to look at him. "Do you know where we're standing?"

She grinned, "In front of a church."

"Not just in front of a church. This exact spot."

"I know. I was being silly. This is where we said 'I love you' the first time." Leaning in he kissed her chastely.

"It also has other significance."

She furrowed her brow, trying to think what else it could be."I give up. What else?"

Henry took Elizabeth's hands in his and leaning close he said, "It's also the place I proposed," and taking a half step back, he got down on one knee and said, "Elizabeth Adams, I love you with my whole being. Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?"

Instinctively, she pulled her hands to cover her gasp and tears sprang to her eyes. He pulled the box from his coat and opened it for her to see. Standing, he took her hand to slide the ring on her finger and kissed the back of her hand. The ring fit perfectly. She was smiling through her tears, but he thought he should point out what he thought was obvious. "Hey babe, you didn't answer the question."

She laughed. "Yes, absolutely, yes!" Snaking her arms around his neck, she pulled him to her. "I don't know that I've ever been so happy. I love you," and she kissed him.

When the need for air forced them apart, he said, "Now, that my nerves are somewhat calm we can eat wherever you want." She laughed and he hoped that he could always make her laugh like that. Walking hand in hand, they returned to the car. They decided on an Italian place that was close by.

"Henry, it's beautiful. You couldn't have picked anything more perfect." Elizabeth stared at her hand for the longest time. "When did you find the time to buy it? I've been with you almost constantly."

He smiled at her. "I'd like to tell you I was super stealthy and managed to sneak away without you noticing, but the truth is, that I've had it for a while now. I picked it out a long time ago."

Her curiosity was piqued, "How long is a long time ago?"

Henry looked a little sheepish, "Can't we just say a long time ago and leave it at that?"

"No."

He sighed, "April."

Elizabeth's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding? We'd barely started dating."

"We'd been dating a couple months and you met my father and still went out with me after, so that sort of meant it was a forever thing, right?"

She laughed at him, "Well, I guess that argument does have merit."

"Honestly, that day, I didn't go looking to buy your ring, but I saw it and thought it was perfect, so I got it and I've been saving it for the right time."

"You are hopelessly sentimental." she said. Henry pulled into a parking space and put the car in park.

"And you love it."

"I do."

A/N: Confession-I find the sky writer proposal annoying. I thought about working it in, but just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I went simple and sweet, which is how I picture Henry anyway.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: There's an M rated section in the middle of this. I labeled it so you can skip over if needed. Thanks for the positive reviews. Keep them coming!

Chapter 31

"We need a date," Elizabeth said while twirling pasta on her fork.

"We're on a date," Henry said.

"No, a wedding date."

"Oh, yeah, I guess we do. How about if I call the church tomorrow and see how long it takes to do the pre-marital counseling classes? Once we have an idea how long that will take, then we can set a date. What do you think about sometime in May after I graduate?"

"I think that sucks Henry. May might as well be an eternity"

"Well, ok then. Are you sure you want to plan a wedding while you are trying to do your classwork? That seems like a lot of stress."

"Henry, I don't need a big fancy wedding. I just need us and the priest and whatever else we have to have. It will be special because it's us. The other stuff is just extra stress."

"If you are sure. Should I ask about available dates at the church once I find out how long the classes are?"

"St. Thomas Aquinas? Umm, do we have to get married there?"

"No, not necessarily. Why? Is there something wrong with that church?

"Can I be completely unreasonable for a moment?" Elizabeth asked, feeling like her reason was completely superficial and silly.

"Always, babe."

"I don't think it's pretty. It's all hard edges and marble and it feels cold. It doesn't feel right to me. I want warm and inviting"

"So, do you have a place in mind?" Henry inquired, not figuring that she had knowledge of many Catholic churches in the area. He secretly hoped she wasn't planning on visiting every church around to find the right church.

"Your family's church in Pittsburgh. It's beautiful.. I like it."

"I think if you want to get married in Pittsburgh, my mother will love you more than me," Henry quipped.

"Do you think Fr. Tony would marry us?" Elizabeth didn't see why it should be a problem, but she'd already come to understand that Catholics seemed to have rules for everything.

"I'll call and ask, but I think it will be fine. We can probably do the classes here and get married in Pittsburgh. Do you think Geoffrey would be able to make such a long trip?"

"I hope so. It sounded like he should be back to normal by then. I think traveling would be ok"

"Yes, hopefully. What about spring break?' Henry asked. "That's like the second or third week of March."

"Oh, umm, we kind of have plans for spring break. But, they're in Pittsburgh, so that might work."

"What are you talking about?" Henry was so confused.

"I told your Dad we would help him do some landscaping projects in the front yard."

"You did?" Henry was having a hard time deciding whether to be annoyed or impressed.

Elizabeth nodded, "I hope that's ok. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you." thinking on it more, she said, "I don't think we have time or the budget for a big honeymoon trip anyway, so maybe we could do both."

"Elizabeth. I'm telling you the last place I want to spend my wedding night is in my parents' house."

Elizabeth snorted, "Aww, come on baby." She reached over and took his hand. "We could totally break in your squeaky be-"

"NO!"

Elizabeth couldn't even pretend to be serious. She laughed hysterically, "I'm just teasing."

"Thank God! However, we could stay in a nice hotel downtown. Plush robes, room service, champagne, king-size bed. That's an idea I could get behind."

Elizabeth gave Henry a wicked grin, "You're brilliant!" She gave his thigh a squeeze under the table.

They finished dinner and headed to a local club that was hosting a New Years Eve party. After dancing and having a couple drinks, Elizabeth looked at Henry. "Am I a big party pooper if I just want to go back to your place and snuggle with you and watch the ball drop on TV?"

Henry studied her, "Perhaps, but then I am too. It's way too crowded here. There's only one person I want to be touching and I plan on taking her home with me.

"Oh, well don't let me stop you," Elizabeth gestured across the room. "I'm sure you could have your pick of ladies to accompany you home."

"You're cute!" he remarked and rolled his eyes. "Let's go!" Sliding his hand around her waist, letting it rest low on her hip, Henry led Elizabeth to the door and then home.

An hour or so later, they were cuddled up on the couch together watching the NYE party at Times Square on TV. When the ball dropped, Henry tilted Elizabeth's head back and kissed her. Elizabeth pivoted around and ended up straddling Henry's lap without breaking the kiss. "I think 1989 is going to be a fabulous year," she said when she finally pulled away from him.

"I couldn't agree more," he said, his voice loving and tender. When he kissed her again, it was so full of love that it radiated through her body.

She threaded her fingers around his neck to play with the tiny hairs along his hairline. "I know you could have had any girl you wanted. And I also know that I come with a lot of baggage." Henry started to say something, but she shook her head to silence him. "Thank you for looking past all of that to get to know me. Thank you for loving me and showing me that I could be happy again." Leaning against him so that their foreheads touched. I love you Henry McCord."

"Thank you for giving me a chance to love you, and for accommodating all of my quirks. You've made me happier than I could have ever imagined. I love you Elizabeth Adams." She kissed him sweetly. "Let's go to bed, babe."

RATED M

Elizabeth was sure she'd just fallen asleep when she stirred slightly with the first kisses to her shoulder. They were soft and almost feathery, It was followed by his fingertips brushing gently up her arm. She shivered under his touch. A tiny moan escaped. She felt his chest pressed against her bare back, his penis hardening against her thigh. When he started sucking her earlobe, she pushed her hips back into him urging him to do something more. Taking his cue, Henry scooted away, pulling Elizabeth onto her back.

In a moment of clarity, Elizabeth whispered, "We can't do this." Henry didn't answer, but hovered over the top of her and suddenly dropped down and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking. She gasped and arched into him. He moved to the other breast. Her nerves were sending electric pulses to her center. She needed him badly. Reaching down, she grabbed his length and stroked him, begging him to enter her. He ran his tip from her opening to her clit and she thought she would lose it right there. "Oh God!" He buried himself in her. He stretched her to the point of pain, but he felt so good at the same time. He filled her in way she had wanted for so long. Waves of pleasure rolled over her as he pulled almost all of the way out and then slammed back into her. Repeatedly. She couldn't catch her breath. Her moans filled the room and she matched his movement. "I am so close." Henry slipped his hand between them and put pressure on her clit. The pulses inside her were coming closer and closer together and getting stronger. Her legs started trembling, she could only hear the steady pound of her heart in her ears. She swore noise was coming from her mouth, yet she couldn't hear it. The pulses evolved into waves of pleasure that came with a blinding light and the inability to breathe. Arching into it, she took all of the pleasure in until at last she gasped . At first, she sucked in air trying to catch up on the oxygen she'd missed. As she finally calmed, she opened her eyes to see Henry still hovering above her and she smiled. Closing her eyes, she tried to hold on to the moment and she felt the kisses on her neck. She could still feel Henry above her. Confusion abounded as she tried to figure out how Henry could be in two places at once. Opening her eyes again, it was dark in their room and Henry was laying by her side, arm draped over her middle, planting tiny kisses on her neck.

END OF M RATED SECTION

"Hey there babe!, Sounded like someone a good dream."

Elizabeth blushed furiously. "Ummm, What did you hear?"

"Enough to know that I was there and I was doing an ok job," Henry winked at her.

"Oh my god! How embarrassing!" She sat up and buried her head in her hands.

"No. Please don't be embarrassed. It was incredibly sexy. I liked it."

"How long did you watch?" Elizabeth needed to know for some reason.

"Maybe a couple minutes. "I'm not sure. You woke me screaming my name, which is hotter than hell by the way."

"How come you didn't wake me up?"

"It looked, and sounded, like a good dream, and you were dreaming about me," he smiled lovingly. "Why would I want to interrupt that?"

She turned to look down at him. "It was a good dream," she smirked.

He pulled her back down next to him. "It is my sincere desire to be as good as everything you can dream." He kissed her and tucked her into his side. "Someone should probably go to sleep. You've had an active night."

"Shut up," she said playfully smacking his chest. "Go back to sleep!"

"I'll do my best, but with all the visuals I've had, I may have my own dreams."

"Go ahead. And I'll be sure to torment you about it." She kissed him. "I love you."

"Love you too."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

The week flew by. Calls to the family were made on New Year's Day. For the most part, everyone was excited. Maureen may have made gagging noises in the background, but Elizabeth couldn't be sure. She figured that as long as she didn't go on a rant where she could hear it, all was well. Henry was correct. MaryHelen was beyond ecstatic that they were planning on getting married in Pittsburgh. She even promised to send Elizabeth a list of local caterers, florists and reception venues.

Monday, Henry called the rectory at St. Thomas Aquinas and found that he and Elizabeth could do the engagement classes there and they would just call the church in Pittsburgh and let Fr. Tony know. Elizabeth was excited to learn that it would only be three or four meetings, depending on long it took them to get through the material, and one of the priests, Fr. Roberts, had an opening on Thursday evening. Henry was also able to get in touch with Fr. Tony and after a great deal of haggling and basically begging, Henry got him to agree to a March 18th wedding ceremony without a full Mass.

Henry had only checked the dates of spring break, which was March 17-March 26. He missed that Easter was March 26th. That meant that the 25th was automatically out because weddings weren't celebrated during Holy Week. It also made the 18th the day before Palm Sunday. The entire church would be redecorated in red for Masses that weekend. Red, the symbol for blood and fire. Not exactly what he really wanted as a backdrop for his wedding, but Elizabeth was quick to point out that beggars can't be choosers and if Fr. Tony had agreed, Henry would need to let this one go.

By the time that Thursday rolled around, Elizabeth had made herself sick with worry. What if Fr. Roberts doesn't like me because I'm not Catholic? What if he talks Henry out of marrying me? Although she knew all of the "what ifs" were completely irrational, it didn't stop her from thinking them or being upset by them.

"Elizabeth, are you almost ready to go?" Henry massaged her shoulders while she sat at the table. "Babe, you have so many knots. Why are you so tense?" He didn't even get the question out before he answered it himself. Tipping her head back so he could see her eyes, he posed the question, "How worried are you about tonight?"

"I might be a little bit nervous about it."

"A little bit? You lie," he said. "Tell me, what do you think will happen?"

"Oh, I don't know. He'll say this whole thing is a bad idea and make you second guess our relationship and you'll break up with me and maybe wish you'd never met me."

"Wow! That is extreme. I feel confident that won't be the case. Really. I think you're making this bigger than it will be. Just take a deep breath. I'll be right beside you." He continued to work on the knots in her neck and shoulders, turning her into jelly.

"Think we can get ice cream after?" she asked."

"Mmm hmmm," he hummed, leaning down to kiss her neck. "We have to go."

"If you insist," she lamented, standing up and picking up her purse as she walked by the chair.

Several minutes later, she found herself sitting next to Henry on a couch with Fr. Michael Roberts sitting across from them in an armchair. He was quite a bit older than what she had expected, definitely north of 60, but he had a kind grandfatherly quality about him. They had introduced themselves and he started with a prayer. It was more of what she expected prayer to be, a spontaneous, from the heart kind of prayer, unlike the prayers at Mass. They talked about their past experiences with Catholicism and religion in general. Elizabeth tried to be pretty neutral and not delve into her specific experiences regarding her "experiences" with God. She figured that would be a pretty good way to start off on the wrong foot. Fr. Roberts talked about all of the same stuff that Henry had talked about with her previously, so nothing was a surprise. Toward the end, Fr. Roberts gave them both a rather lengthy survey and asked that they take it separately and while they could talk about it after they take it, they couldn't change their answers. At the next meeting, their surveys would be scored and discussed.

"Scored?" she asked. Henry could feel her body tensing even though she sat a foot away. "Like there's a grade? And if we fail?"

Fr. Roberts chuckled. "No, not scored as in a pass/fail type situation. I should probably come up with a different word for that. Each set of questions falls into a certain category. For each question, you answer agree, disagree, or unsure. Then we compare your answers to Henry's and discuss. Some topics may never have come up, but once you talk about it, you find you are on the same page. Other things may be hot button issues that you don't agree on. The point is to bring potential conflict to the surface so you know going into your marriage where you stand. Hopefully, the two of you can make a plan to work around the issues that give you trouble."

"That makes sense," Elizabeth relaxed back into the couch.

Fr. Roberts continued, "Now if the two of you are vastly different on a number of issues, then I would be remiss if I didn't counsel you to wait until you have really explored all of those areas of contention before marrying. But, at the same time, I've seen couples that on paper look like they couldn't be further apart on every important issue and yet their marriage works because they put the time in and want to make it work. Success of a marriage really comes down to the time a couple is willing to devote to it and the decision not to walk away if things get hard."

Henry smiled and slipped his hand into Elizabeth's. She looked over and smiled back. She was actually interested in seeing how this survey would turn out.

As they walked out of the church, hand in hand, Henry looked over at Elizabeth, "Well? What did you think?"

"Better than I thought, and I am looking forward to doing this questionnaire. I'll have plenty of time to get it done next week at Geoffrey's, but you won't be so lucky. You'll be busy next week." Realization crossed her face. "I'll miss you." She put her head on his shoulder.

"I'll miss you too," Henry pulled her close. "Let's go home." He opened the car door for her.

Friday afternoon, Elizabeth was in her dorm room packing her bag to go to Geoffrey's. She looked around at her belongings. The things that remained in her room were the nonessentials. It was really only extra clothes storage. Why was I so noncommittal when Henry brough up moving in together the other day? It makes sense to do so, especially from a financial standpoint. I can give the money that I pay for room and board to Henry to help with the rent or I can use it to pay for the wedding stuff. Wedding! Wow, that's so exciting yet frightening at the same time.

Elizabeth stepped over to the calendar and flipped it to last page, a 1989 yearly overview. She counted down the weeks. "Holy shit," she muttered, "10 weeks." On one hand, 10 weeks seemed like forever when it came to her and Henry, but 10 weeks to plan some semblance of a respectable wedding didn't seem like nearly enough time. "This is going to be one busy week." Maybe I won't even have time to miss Henry. Although she knew that she was lying to herself when she thought it. She started tossing things into boxes.

Walking back into Henry's apartment, he was putting the last of stuff in his duffle. His fatigues were laying over the back of he chair. Glancing up, he saw her with two large cardboard boxes. He stepped over to take them from her. "What's this?" he asked.

"Do you think you might still want a roommate?"

"I don't know. Do you know someone that might be able to put up with me?"

She grinned at him, "Maybe. I can ask around if you like."

After setting the boxes against the wall, he pulled her close for a hug. "What changed your mind?"

"I wasn't against it to start with. It just caught me off guard. But, I was just looking at my room and there wasn't anything there of importance. Everything I need is here. I couldn't ever see myself willingly spending another night away from you, so I just tossed the rest of my things into boxes. The most important things are in these boxes. The rest I put in my trunk to take back to Geoffrey's tomorrow."

"All of your stuff is in these two boxes?" There was an incredulous tone in Henry's voice.

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I already have half of your closet, half of your dresser and half of the drawers in the bathroom vanity. This is just the stuff to take half your bookcase."

Henry looked over his shoulder at the small bookshelf that was overflowing. "Good luck with that," he giggled and she joined him.

"Yeah. What do you think about getting a bigger bookcase?"

"That might be a necessity."

"The first of many changes." Elizabeth glanced over to Henry's fatigues on the chair. "That scares me you know."

"It's only training, babe."

"It's only training this week. You graduate in May and go active duty. Deployment is almost a given."

"Yeah."

"You can't die on me. You know that, right?"

"I won't. I promise."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: I'm going to have to slow the rate at which I'm posting chapters. I need to do life for a bit. Hopefully they will be posted every 2-3 days instead of daily. Sorry! Love the reviews. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 33

Elizabeth drove Henry to the Armory to meet the bus. Most of the ROTC guys were already there milling around, awaiting instructions. Henry opened the back door and pulled his duffle out and carried it around to the driver's side. Elizabeth leaned against the car and rubbed her palms on her thighs trying to rid herself of the nervous energy coursing through her veins. Henry took her in his arms and held her close. "Tell Geoffrey hello for me." He could see the tears that threatened to fall, pooling in the corner of her eyes. "Be careful driving and I'll try to call you at least once. I don't know how much personal time they will give us. I love you, Elizabeth." He kissed her softly.

"I love you too. You'll never be far from my thoughts. See you on Sunday." Before Henry could see those tears fall, she kissed him quickly and hopped in the car. Driving away, she chastised herself. _Good grief Lizzie. It's a week. It's training. You can't stop functioning every time he has to go somewhere. You'll never survive a deployment. Pull it together. You've got things to take care of._ Taking a deep breath, she wiped away the errant tears that managed to escape. Using her turn signal, she slowed and made the turn on to the highway that would take her back to Connecticut and Uncle Geoffrey.

Elizabeth pulled into the drive at 6 pm, more than 10 hours after she left Charlottesville. Since she wasn't in a big hurry, she had stopped at a couple formal dress shops along the way. Wedding dress shopping was not for the faint of heart! She doubted she really needed a dress with sleeves larger than her head and ridiculous amounts of beading and lace. It wasn't that she didn't think they were pretty, but everything seemed like too much. She had hoped that she would find a simple, yet classy, dress that would flatter her slim figure. The handful she tried on made her look ridiculously small surrounded by yards and yards of satin and lace.

Otto welcomed her and in minutes she was pulling in front of the garage. She went to the door and Frederick opened it before she even had a chance to knock. "Come in Miss Lizzie!" He gave her a hug and then held out his hand.

She looked puzzled and he eyed her hand. "Oh of course," she laughed, placing her left hand in Frederick's so that he could inspect her ring.

"Very nice. Mr. Henry did a fine job. I think it is very-you!" Frederick said.

"Thank you. I think he did well too! Where are Will and Geoffrey?"

"Follow me Miss Lizzie. They are in the study playing chess." Opening the door, Frederick announced her and both men stood up. Quickly crossing the room, she hugged them both and she couldn't believe her eyes. Uncle Geoffrey looked completely different. His coloring was back to normal, He moved with ease and his eyes, which had seemed dull even a week ago, were bright and twinkling.

"Uncle Geoffrey, you look fabulous! Will must have done a great job! How's the game?"

"He's kicking my butt," Will said chuckling.

"Will doesn't have the temperment for these long, drawn out games. He gets bored becomes distracted," Geoffrey informed her. "Come, sit next to me." Elizabeth pulled up a chair. "How's Henry."

"He's good. I dropped him off this morning for his training. He'll be back home Sunday. I hope to beat him back, but we'll see." Uncle Geoffrey took her hand and squeezed it, silently acknowledging how hard it was for her to send him off.

Will excused himself to go pack, as he would be leaving in the morning. Elizabeth hadn't eaten yet, so she headed to the kitchen to make herself a snack and grab something for Geoffrey too. It took just a few minutes to make a peanut butter and honey sandwich and she grabbed a couple bananas to take back to the study. When she returned, Elizabeth found that Geoffrey had pulled out the Scrabble board and she smiled. He probably hadn't played Scabble with her since she was maybe 12. It was the last time she had visited Geoffrey and Brenda when her parents were alive. She, Will, her father and Geoffrey played several times during that visit. Sitting down, she said, "I hope you've been working on your game."

"I have, but you're probably still better." Uncle Geoffrey laughed. They talked while they played. "The police detective that is working on my case called today." Elizabeth looked up meeting his eyes. She was surprised that they showed little emotion. "They have a solid case and they are sending it to the grand jury for indictment."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I've run the gamut of emotions. I've spent too much time trying to rationalize why she felt she needed to do what she did and I keep coming up empty. I can't wrap my head around the callousness of her actions. So, right now my reaction is the bitch can rot in hell."

Elizabeth flinched, not because she hadn't thought the same thing, but she'd never heard her Uncle use any curse words ever.

"Sorry, Lizzie. I guess that's a little harsh."

"No, don't be sorry. I think harsh is more than appropriate in this case. I just didn't expect it to hear it from you."

"Well, I hit my limit. It appears that trying to kill me for my money is a good way to piss me off."

Elizabeth laughed in spite of herself. "Good news, I have no plans of doing that, so hopefully we should be good to go." Geoffrey laughed with her. It was starting to get late and the long day had definitely caught up with Elizabeth. She picked up the dishes and gave Geoffrey a hug and kiss before heading off to bed.

Within minutes, she'd changed clothes, brushed her teeth and crawled into bed and she lay there, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep without Henry. _What are you doing? I can't sleep. Of course you can sleep. Shut your eyes! It's not the same. Pull out the survey. That will surely bore you to sleep._

She leaned precariously off the bed to grab her backpack. Pulling it towards her, she was able to heave it onto the bed. Elizabeth took out the survey and started reading through it. 151 questions! Fishing out a pen, she settled in. Some questions were easy and others needed quite a bit of thought. About halfway through, she started to get drowsy, so she shut off the light and hoped sleep would come. At some point, Elizabeth did drift off but woke a few hours later. Rolling over, she looked at the clock. 6:45. _Damn! I know I saw 3 roll around._ She sat up, rubbed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. What to do? She padded down the stairs to the kitchen where Will was already sitting with a cup of coffee.

Looking up, he nodded. "You're an early riser. Coffee's ready."

"You're fabulous!" She poured a cup and sat down across from him. "When are you leaving?"

"Am hour or so.. My flight leaves at 9."

"Skiing, right?" Will nodded. "Breckinridge?"

"Yeah. I'm meeting several guys from school. We'll spend a few days there before heading back. Classes start Monday."

"Mine too. Hey. Will you put a date on your calendar and make it a plan to be there?"

"Sure. When?"

"March 17-18. It's a Friday/Saturday. It's the rehearsal and wedding."

"I've already altered my schedule accordingly. I'll probably fly out Sunday afternoon though. It's our spring break and the pre-med program at schooll is sending a group to Costa Rica for humanitarian work. I already signed up for that."

"Good. Thanks for penciling me in." She punched him playfully in the arm. She started to walk away, but Will reached out and grabbed her hand. "I'm happy for you sis. Henry is a good guy. He will treat you well."

"He already does." Elizabeth smiled at the mention of Henry. "I'm going to go shower and unpack. Don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" Will gave her a thumbs up before she walked away.

45 minutes later, she was downstairs drinking a second cup of coffee with Geoffrey when the phone rang. Geoffrey answered it, listened a moment and smiled. Handing the phone out to Elizabeth, he said, "Someone wants to say hi."

Elizabeth leapt from the chair nearly knocking it over, "Thanks," she said, grasping the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey babe! How are you?"

"I'm better now." Elizabeth was smiling ear to ear. "I didn't think you would get to call."

"I'm going rouge. I didn't sleep at all last night. I needed to hear your voice."

Elizabeth giggled, "I can identify with that, but I did work on the survey, so it wasn't totally unproductive."

Henry said, "I've got to go, but I just wanted to let you know, I love you and I'm thinking about you."

"Love you too Henry. Bye." She hung up the phone and was smiling, but the tears were threatening. Geoffrey stood and put his hand on her shoulder. She leaned into him and pleaded with the tears to stay where they were. In a minute, she pulled back. "I'm okay. I need to get better at this. This will be a long term reality soon enough." Her mind wandered a bit. She looked up at Geoffrey who was still standing close. "Do you think that during his deployment things will change between us?"

"That's pretty much guaranteed," he said. Elizabeth's face fell. "I don't mean it in a bad way, but whatever situation Henry ends up in will change him, and the things that you do while he's gone will change you. That only means that when you are back together it will take some time to get reacquainted, to relearn who the other is. To be a couple again. It will be fine. You've always been the worrier. I'd tell you to give it to God, but I doubt that's what you want to heart." Geoffrey grinned at her.

Confusion flooded Elizabeth's features and she smirked, "Since when are you a God guy?"

"Well, when you spend 6 months in quarantine, you do a lot of reading and a lot of thinking. And, when you think you are dying, it puts things in a different perspective. I found a need to hope and want for something more."

"And that more is God?" Elizabeth asked seriously.

"Yes," Geoffrey matched her tone.

"Hmmm," she said. "Want to go to Mass with me this morning?

"Since when are you a God girl?" Geoffrey asked. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm not, but Henry is all in and I miss him. I was thought maybe it would help."

"Do you even know when it is?"

"No, but I can use a phone book. Do you know if there is a Catholic Church close?"

"No idea, but the phone book is in that drawer," Geoffrey said pointing. "I'm going to change and say goodbye to Will.

Elizabeth picked up the book and flipped through the yellow pages. There were 2 churches that were within a few miles of the house. She picked the one with Mass at 10:30, giving them a bit more time.

Will came down with his bags and she and Geoffrey gave him hugs and made him promise to call and then looked knowingly at each other and laughed, because they knew it wouldn't happen.

"Mass is at 10:30. Let me go change and I'll be down."

Geoffrey smiled as she climbed the steps.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Somehow I managed to find time to write a chapter yesterday. I'm about 2 chapters out from a wedding. It's about darn time. This whole story got a little out of control! Sorry about that Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 34

Mass was a whole different experience when she became the instructor. Geoffrey had more questions than Elizabeth could answer but she was surprised that she had retained most of the information Henry had given her. She did add a question to her list about decoration. The priests all wore colors that matched the church decoration. Was that a church choice thing or did it have to do with not being the Christmas season anymore? Three different churches in three weeks, The other two were white and this one was green. After Mass, Geoffrey took her out for lunch and they spent a quiet afternoon together.

Monday afternoon a large envelope arrived for Elizabeth. It was the list of wedding contacts from MaryHelen. God bless that woman. She sent brochures from nearly all of the vendors so Elizabeth could see what products they offered. With assistance from Frederick, who always had an eye for these things, she picked out the things she liked the best and called to get prices and check availability. She and Henry hadn't really talked about if he had any preferences, so she decided to wait to confirm until she at least talked to him. She had a feeling that he wouldn't really have strong opinions on most of the things she was looking at, but wanted to make sure she included him, especially choosing the colors.

Elizabeth knew Henry wasn't thrilled about the church being decked out in red, so she wanted something that would look nice with it and not clash. Frederick had suggested gray and white. While she thought that would look nice together, those certainly weren't trendy colors and she didn't know if she would even be able to find dresses in gray and that seemed drab anyway. Dresses! It was then that she realized she would need a maid of honor, and maybe even bridesmaids. Crap! That's a whole new can of worms.

Elizabeth was a person with many acquaintances, but few friends, and even fewer that were women. She had lost all contact with her friends from elementary and junior high school. Her best friend from high school was Joey, the Crown Prince of Bahrain. She had no real friends in college, except Henry. There were lots of people she was friendly with and could go get coffee with or go to a party with, but no one with whom she would share personal things or a go to person when she had a problem. The only person she had ever done that with was Maria. Even though Maria was five years older than Elizabeth, she had always been the one Elizabeth asked for advice since moving in with her Aunt and Uncle.

She smiled and then frowned. The baby. Elizabeth sighed. The baby would only be a few weeks old. Maria probably wouldn't want to travel that far to go to the wedding, much less be in the wedding. Then there was Erin and Maureen. Erin was a possibility, but Maureen. Oh good Lord! She laughed at the thought. And choosing Erin over Maureen wouldn't go over well. Deciding to table that line of thought, she changed direction and went over to the phone to call Maria. She thought she would invite her to go dress shopping. She didn't think it would be too taxing-just sitting in a chair while she tried on ridiculously poofy dresses.

Maria was excited that Elizabeth was back in town and happily agreed to go with her the next afternoon as long as she wasn't in labor. She said she felt horrible, but was so stir-crazy that going dress shopping seemed like a great idea. Hanging up the phone, Elizabeth's spirits were lifted a bit.

The next day around noon, Elizabeth pulled up in front of Manny and Maria's garage apartment. She found Maria struggling to get down the steps. "It's hard on these narrow steps and I can't see my feet." Maria laughed. Elizabeth offered her a hand. Descending successfully, they headed out to grab lunch before shopping.

They had a wonderful time talking and catching up beyond what they had been able to do in the short conversation a week prior. Taking a chance, Elizabeth posed a question. "I want to ask you something and feel free to say no if you don't think you would want to or it would be hard to work out." Maria nodded. "I was wondering if you would be my matron of honor. I know the baby will still be tiny and it is quite a trip, but it would mean so much to me if you would stand with me."

"Oh Lizzie. I would be honored. Let me talk to Manny and see how we could work it out." They hugged.

"I hope it will," Elizabeth said, thankful that perhaps one more piece of the puzzle was about to fall into place.

Dress shopping started out in the same abysmal way it had ended a few days ago. Elizabeth lamented to Maria, "Why, oh why, does every dress have to be huge and fluffy? I don't want big and I don't want fluffy! I just want simple, ugh!" she groaned.

They tried a second store. Elizabeth started rifling through the racks of dresses. Within moments, an older lady approached her. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm looking for a wedding dress. I will likely need it to be off the rack since the wedding is in 10 weeks."

"Ok, well, that might be a challenge, but we have a lot of things in your size. I'm sure we can find the right dress." Elizabeth looked at her curiously. The woman knew what she was thinking, "You're a size 4, right, but you often wear a 6 because you don't like anything too clingy." Elizabeth's eyes widened wondering how she knew that. "I've done this a long time, and I'd like to say I'm pretty decent at it. Come, sit down and talk to me. The two women joined Maria, who had already found a plush seat near the dressing rooms. "Tell me what you ideal dress would look like."

This is ridiculous. I don't know, because I haven't seen it yet. "Do you think I could tell you what I don't want in a dress. I feel like that's easier."

"Sure. We can work from that direction."

"I don't like the huge puffy sleeves, or really poofy at all. I would actually prefer sleeveless, but not strapless. It needs to be floor length. I like simple and classy, not flashy and showy."

"But the bride is supposed to be flashy and showy."

"Not this bride. This bride would prefer not to be the center of anyone's attention other than the groom."

"That will be hard to pull off on your wedding day."

"So I'm discovering." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll bring you a few to try on.".

Elizabeth and Maria made small talk and then "Cheryl," as her name tag identified her, returned with an armload of dresses.

Let's get this over with. Cheryl hung the dresses on a rack outside of the stall and Elizabeth stepped inside.

The first one was long sleeved, but they were fitted sleeves. It was fitted all the way down to her knees and flared out at the bottom. She stepped to the door and Cheryl zipped her up. Walking out, Maria gasped. "You look beautiful Lizzie!"

"Well, I feel like a cross between a mermaid and a sausage. Not liking it." Cheryl unzipped her. Dress number two was strapless, which immediately turned her off, but Cheryl insisted Elizabeth try it on anyway. It did have beautiful beading and the skirt was tulle over satin and was pretty, puffy, but not overly so. Cheryl buttoned every other button for effect and sent her to Maria.

"Oooh! I like this one better. It's definitely more you!" Maria said, bright-eyed.

"It is pretty, but I feel like I'm all exposed. This is a lot of skin." She gestured to her chest, but turned to look at the back in the mirror. It is pretty. Henry would like it. He'd like to peel it off of me later. A blush flashed across her face. It deepened when she remembered she wasn't alone.

"Someone's thinking umpire thoughts!" Maria teased.

"Shut it, Maria!" Elizabeth shot her an embarrassed look before dashing back into the dressing room.

The door cracked and Cheryl stuck the next dress in. "You have got to be kidding me? Do I seriously need to put this on?"

"Put it on Lizzie," called Maria, "I'm big, fat and pregnant. This is my entertainment!"

"You need to know that I am only doing this because I love you."

"Of course you do!" Maria had already started cackling and Elizabeth was now convinced that Maria had somehow picked the most awful dress she could find and gave it to Cheryl for her to try on.

"It's sleeveless and full length. Definitely meets the parameters!" Maria managed to spout before laughter overtook her again.

The dress had a sweetheart neckline and was encased in layers of 4 inch ruffles-satin and lace repeated down the bodice. The waist was tied with a wide satin ribbon and the skirt, which was surprisingly not that poofy, was layer upon layer of satin and lace ruffles. "I hope you like it. I feel like I'm a table doily or maybe a little girl's bedskirt."

"There's enough material there to be both," Maria was crying from laughing so hard.

Doing a few twirls around the room, she looked at Maria, "Are you good? Can I please try on the next dress?"

"I suppose. The next one is THE one, just so you know."

"Doubtful. I haven't been having much luck so far."

"I'm telling you." Maria said knowingly.

When Cheryl slipped the dress into the dressing room, Elizabeth gasped. "I told you!" she heard Maria say.

She slipped the dress on. It was a simple A-line dress with a scoop neck and small capped sleeves. It had an intricate beaded overlay on the bodice and the skirt was three layers of tulle. The back was laced about 8 inches from the middle of her back down. Elizabeth smiled and closed her eyes imagining Henry pressing kisses to her shoulder while unlacing her dress. A wave of warmth washed over her.

"How are we doing?" Cheryl asked at the door. Elizabeth was obviously taking a little too long.

"I'm fine. Just a second." She waited a minute for her coloring to turn to some shade of normal before stepping out. Cheryl tightened the laces and Elizabeth turned in front of Maria showing her the full dress.

Maria eyed her. "Who's right? Uh-huh, that would be me!"

Elizabeth wore a full smile and laughed. "It looks ok? Are you sure?"

"You are glowing, and the dress looks fabulous on you.:

Cheryl came up behind Elizabeth, pulled and tugged a few places and said, "I don't think it will even need to be altered. It looks like it fits perfectly."

"You're right! This is definitely THE one." Elizabeth's eyes sparkled.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Elizabeth walked into the house late in the afternoon. Uncle Geoffrey was sitting in the front room reading when she entered. "Lizzie! I see you were successful.. Would you humor me and try it on for me?"

"Of course. Someone will have to help me with the back. I can't tie it."

She stepped into the study with the garment bag and Geoffrey waited outside. A couple minutes later, Elizabeth cracked the door and turned her back to Geoffrey so he could tighten the laces. Geoffrey gently pulling the satin ribbon through the eyelets transported Elizabeth back to when she was 6 or 7 and little Lizzie could never manage to keep the ribbons on her dresses tied. Lizzie would run past and her father would catch her by the waist and pull her close. "Let's fix those ties," he would say and then spin her around and quickly tie a neat little bow. "There you go." He'd give her a hug and kiss the top of her head and send her off

Elizabeth was always surprised how little things like that surfaced so suddenly and unexpectedly. She quickly wiped away the tear that fell and forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. "That should do it," Geoffrey said and spun her around. His eyes immediately caught hers. "Honey, what's wrong?" he said, pulling her into a hug.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just one of those sneaky memories that make me miss them." Elizabeth paused for a moment, "Do you think they would approve of Henry and I getting married?"

"Without a doubt, they would have loved Henry. He is a good man and he is both good to you and good for you. That's an unusual combination. You are blessed." He let her go. "Now let me look at you." She pulled back slightly and wiped her tears away and smiled. She stepped a few feet back so he could see the whole dress. Holding out her arms, she slowly turned completely around.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked.

Geoffrey was the one with tears in his eyes this time. "I think you are beautiful. Your dress is perfect." He blinked back the tears. "Do you know how much you look like your mother? It's almost like going back in time." Elizabeth smiled. She always thought she favored her mom, but she didn't necessarily think that other people saw it. "Come here," Geoffrey said, "I'll untie the laces so you can change back. What do you want to do for dinner?"

"I make a mean grilled cheese," Elizabeth said.

"That sounds perfect. I am very good at dumping tomato soup from the can. We're a good team."

He stepped out of the room and she joined him a few minutes later in the kitchen. It didn't take long to get the meal prepared and eaten. Soon they were just sitting back at the table, Geoffrey reading the paper and Elizabeth still working on the survey.

When the phone rang, Elizabeth walked over to pick it up. Assuming it was for Geoffrey, she had already untangled the cord to stretch it over to where he was sitting. "Hello, Adams residence." she said.

"It's my favorite person," Henry replied, the joy evident in his voice.

"Henry!" Elizabeth nearly that, Geoffrey took his cue to leave. He waved his paper and pointed in the direction of the study. Elizabeth nodded.

"I get a 30 minute phone call, so tell me everything you've been doing. I miss you."

"I miss you too. I've mostly been hanging around with Geoffrey. Will left Sunday morning. Geoffrey and I went to Mass and-"

"Really? You and Geoffrey went to Mass?" Henry couldn't hide his surprise.

"Yes. Is it that hard to believe?" she asked with mock annoyance.

"Well, kind of, yeah." Henry told her seriously.

"I missed you and Geoffrey was talking about God and it was Sunday morning, so we went. Don't read too much into it McCord. Oh, and he had a bunch of questions that I didn't know the answer to, so at some point you'll need to answer those."

Henry chuckled, " Definitely not reading anything into it. What else?"

"Your mom sent this amazing package to me of all the wedding vendors in Pittsburgh. I was looking through it with Frederick and he helped me pick out a few things, but before I called and agreed to anything, I wanted to get your opinion."

"Like on what?"

"Like food at the reception. Do you have a sit down meal or hors d'oeuvres? Flowers? Cake? Photographer? Do you want a dance? Band or DJ? Oh, and we need theme colors and invitations and at some point, I need to know how many groomsmen you want because I'm going to have to come up with some friends."

"Wow, babe! That's not overwhelming at all!"

"I know and you didn't even get the giant package full of brochures!"

"Well, most things I won't notice, but there was a girl that graduated a couple years ahead of me and takes amazing pictures. Her name is Shelly O'Laughlin. Well, that was her maiden name, she's probably married by now."

"What are the chances it's Shelly Reed?"

"R-E-E-D?"

"That's the one. How did you know?"

"She dated Jason Reed in high school. I was guessing they married."

"I will definitely call. If it's the same person, she was my top pick."

"What else was there? I don't even remember what you said."

"Flowers?"

"Don't care, but I'll call the church. We may not be able to have flowers in church because of Lent."

"Not at all?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm sure bouquets and whatever the guy wears is fine. I'm thinking of flowers on the altar or on the ends of the pews. They will already have flowers out though because of Palm Sunday."

"Ah, got it. Is it alright if I call? I'd like to get most of this taken care of before classes start and I know you won't have time."

"Absolutely. Do you have the number?"

"Your mom put it in. She's very thorough."

Henry laughed, "That she is! Next?"

"Food at the reception?"

"Depends on if you want a dance or not?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Well, if you are having people stay from 1 in the afternoon to midnight, then you really need to feed them real food. If there's no dance, then just appetizers is fine."

"Okay, do you want a dance?" she asked.

"I have mixed feelings," Henry said with a hint of smirk.

"Why?"

"If we skip the dance, we can start our honeymoon a few hours earlier. But, a lot of people enjoy a dance, and we do like to dance."

Elizabeth giggled, "I don't think we should make plans for our wedding festivities based on how fast you can get in my pants, Mr. McCord!"

"Weddings would be a lot shorter if everyone did," he countered.

"Dance and real food it is. Besides the best man, how many groomsmen do you want?"

"I was going to ask Shane to be best man. I don't have anyone else specific How many bridesmaids do you want? I'm sure I can wrangle a few guys."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you? I asked Maria to be matron of honor, but I don't have anyone else that I really want to ask." Elizabeth backtracked a bit, " Is it tacky to just have one person?"

"It's your wedding. Do what you want and don't worry about what other people think. Oh, and I got the DJ. I'll call on Sunday when I get home. Does that cover it?"

"All except colors. Frederick suggested gray and white to go with the red in church so it doesn't clash. Is that too bland?"

"Baby I love you but could care less about what color people are wearing. The only clothing concern I have is how fast I can get your dress off of you that night. I will wear whatever you tell me to wear and I will show up."

"Henry, stop," Elizabeth blushed, but she wasn't sure if it was because Henry said it or because she had already had similar thoughts.

"Elizabeth, I love you. I can't wait until Sunday."

In the background, she heard a banging. "Times up McCord!"

"I love you Henry. See you Sunday," and then he was gone.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: This chapter is sort of a mess! I apologize in advance. I'm working on the wedding now and i think it's safe to say that I am spending more time on Henry and Elizabeth's wedding than I did my own! Hopefully I'll get it posted early next week (It's theoretically Chapters 38/39, although I don't even know where this chapter came from. It wasn't in the original plan.) Let me know what you think!

Chapter 36

Elizabeth's head was spinning. The rest of the week had been a whirlwind of calls and visits and appointments. Elizabeth called everyone, with the exception of the DJ that Henry said he would call, and got everything set up, deposits paid and details discussed. Maria had a baby girl on Thursday, two days before her due date. Elizabeth took Geoffrey to the hospital so they could both visit. Geoffrey told Manny and Maria that he couldn't wait to have Maria back at the house so he could spend all of his free time rocking baby Gianna.

Elizabeth held a baby for the first time. Geoffrey insisted that there were pictures of her holding Will, but having been 15 months at the time, she decided that didn't count. Elizabeth was convinced that Gianna had to be the smallest person ever, but at almost 9 pounds, Maria assured her that smaller babies were born all of the time. She was tense at first, but after a bit, she was a little more confident that she wouldn't drop Gianna and settled back in the chair.

Starting at the the tiny squished up face wrapped in a blanket, she was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. She tried to identify what exactly she was feeling. Fear for sure-fear of not knowing what to do, fear of doing something wrong, fear of having her own baby one day. But at the same time there was awe at the miracle that lay in her arms, the joy of seeing how happy this baby made Manny and Maria (and Geoffrey for that matter), and protectiveness over this little person. Then there was something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Something that was nagging at her, pulling her closer, and making her heart swell simultaneously. Perhaps yearning to embark on this same journey with Henry, even though it scared the hell out of her.

Geoffrey took the baby and Elizabeth watched Manny and Maria, how radiant Maria was, even though she was obviously worn out. Manny looked fiercely proud of his little family. She wondered if Henry would look the same way some day. Manny pulled her from her thoughts. "Maria tells me you are getting married in Pittsburgh in March. I want you to know that we will be there. Frederick said he would drive us if we thought we would have trouble with the baby."

"How's Geoffrey getting there if Frederick is driving you?" Elizabeth asked, not masking her confusion.

"I'm flying and meeting Will at the airport." Geoffrey cut in.

"Well, sounds like everything is taken care of," Elizabeth smiled at Maria who smiled back.

With Friday came an unexpected surprise. Geoffrey's physical therapist cleared him. Geoffrey was told to continue the exercises they had been doing to maintain his current level of fitness and otherwise, he was declared healthy. He was still weaning off of one of the medications, but thought he would be done with that very soon. He declared this unhappy chapter of his life over. Elizabeth was able to head home on Sunday morning feeling good about leaving Geoffrey under the care of Frederick and her other friends.

Elizabeth was on the road before 7 on Sunday morning, with the intention of getting back to pick Henry up when he returned to the armory. She drove straight through only stopping for gas and bathroom breaks. She pulled into the armory at 4 straight up and pulled in just ahead of the bus. Elizabeth couldn't hardly contain her excitement as the guys started getting off the bus. It took every ounce of willpower she had not to run up and tackle Henry when he stepped out into the open.

His smile was wide, as was hers. Unable to hold back any longer, she met him halfway. Henry, dropping his duffle took her in his arms. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi there" Looking up at him, Henry's eyes filled with love, it was more than Elizabeth could handle. Her eyes filled with tears. She cupped his face with her hands and pulled him toward her. Just as their lips touched, she whispered, "I missed you so much."

Fitting a week's worth of kisses into that single one, Henry finally pulled away. Brushing the tears away with his thumb, he said, "Let's go home."

"You drive," she said tossing him the keys as she rounded the front of the car, "I've been driving all day." He tossed his bag in the backseat and got in. It wasn't far, however, they stopped to pick up sandwiches because they had nothing at the apartment. Reaching their destination, Henry pulled his bag from the back and took Elizabeth's as well. Carrying the food, she unlocked the door and let them inside. Setting their things down, she wrapped herself around him.

"Why don't you take a shower and I'll get dinner ready," she offered.

"What time is it?" He took her wrist and turned it so he could see the time. "4:30. I'm going to grab a quick shower and I'm going to Mass at 5."

"You're what?" Her voice was a blend of whiny and annoyed.

"The deal is that if I can go I do go, and I can, so I am. Want to join me?"

"Not really."

"Ok, I'm going to hop in the shower. Be right back." Henry snatched the duffle strap lugging it to the bedroom.

"Yeah, be right back. Until you leave," she huffed.

Henry reappeared a few minutes later, sporting damp hair along with his khakis and button down shirt. Elizabeth was annoyed with herself for noticing how handsome he looked when she was pissed at him. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" he asked.

"No," her response came out a little more forcefully than she intended.

"Okay. Be back in an hour." He pecked her on the cheek. "Love you." Henry walked out the door.

Elizabeth slumped down on the couch, wondering why she busted her ass to get back for him, just for him to ditch her. The longer she sat there, the more pissed she got. By the time the hour passed, she was furious. An unsuspecting Henry walked in the door. "54 minutes babe! That's excellent time if I do say so myself!" He caught her eye. "Whoa! What's going on?"

"Really? You have the nerve to ask 'What's going on?' like you have no idea!" Elizabeth's voice was low and even and laced with venom.

"Uh, got no idea." he shrugged. "I'm stumped."

"Do you know what time I left Connecticut this morning? I drove all day so I could make it back to see you, to BE with you. You're home 10 minutes and ditch me. I'm beyond pissed and wondering why I rushed back to get to you when you obviously have other priorities."

Henry exhaled the breath that he'd been holding while she let him have it. Rubbing his temples, he sighed, "Elizabeth, I'm sorry you are upset. Truly, I am. Mass is a priority and it does place higher than everything else barring a catastrophe. While staying here and being with you sounded far better, it doesn't relieve me of my obligation to go to Mass."

"I'm still annoyed."

"You can feel however you want. But, I'd rather we spend our evening in other ways though." Henry moved from the chair over to the couch where she sat. "I am sorry." He scooted closer. "I should have mentioned it earlier." He leaned into her. "I just wasn't sure when we would be getting back," he placed a kiss on her neck, "and I didn't think of it ahead of time." Kissing up to her ear, he murmured, "If it helps, I rushed back as fast as I could."

"Mmmm," she hummed. "You're right." Silence. Henry leaned in a little further. Elizabeth shot him a devilish grin. "I'm hungry. Let's eat." She popped up causing Henry to lose his balance and faceplant into the couch. Giggling, she went to get their sandwiches.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: Good news! I'm almost done writing the wedding. Bad news! I wrote 2 chapters before I actually got to the wedding. This thing has a mind of its own, I swear! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 37

"What _are_ my annoying behaviors?" Elizabeth asked as she peeked over Henry's shoulder. He was completing the survey for Fr. Roberts.

"You're joking right?" Henry looked at her incredulously.

"What?"Elizabeth tried to look innocent.

He motioned around the room. "Neatness is not your strong suit."

"I'll have you know that my organizational style is 'stack.' I know where everything is."

"Is that why we tore the place apart last night looking for the information for the DJ?"

"That was a fluke."

"Right. So what annoying things do I do?"

"Besides being neat and ridiculously tidy." She paused in mock concentration. "You leave almost empty containers in the fridge. Just eat the rest or toss the two bites that are left."

Henry chuckled, "That's totally my mother. She would never let us throw anything away. Here's a good one. 'We have discussed the ways our families solved problems and how this may affect our problem solving.'"

"I thought that was funny myself. Would you like to go with open hostility and sarcasm or maybe just plotting murder?"

"How about neither. I'm fond of excessive overthinking and talking the problem to death." Henry said.

"I think that pairs well with my extreme avoidance and general unwillingness to talk about anything-although I am trying to do better."

Still leaning over his shoulder, Elizabeth kissed Henry's cheek. Tipping his head back, he reached up tangling his fingers in her hair, holding her in place. His lips caught her upper lip and sucked it gently. Henry smiled into the kiss as he felt Elizabeth relax into him. Her hands moved from his shoulders down his chest and wrapped around him as her tongue lazily licked his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and his tongue met hers. They kissed until she finally pulled back and smiled at him. Pecking him on the lips, she said, "What's next?"

"Here's one we haven't talked about at all. 'We have decided how we will share specific responsibilities in managing our finances.'"

"Oh yeah, I marked that one too. What are your thoughts?"

"I like to have everything written out and write all of the checks at once and then mail them on the right days."

"Oh, you are so taking over bill paying. I am awful at being on time."

Henry smirked at her, "Is that because all of your bills are in a stack somewhere?"

She elbowed him, "You think you're funny!"

"What about checking and savings accounts?"

"Joint," she said automatically. If we're married, I don't think there should be yours and mine. It seems like that would breed discontent. We both put in, and then we decide how to spend or what to save for together."

"Sounds good, with one exception." Elizabeth tilted her head and look curiously at him.

"My name doesn't appear anywhere on your trust fund money."

"But Henry-" she started.

"No, Elizabeth. I really don't want any part of it. I'm marrying you because I love you, not because of your money. I want there to be no confusion, for anyone, on that point."

Elizabeth screwed up her face. "Is this because of Brenda? Nevermind. I don't want to talk about her. We're going to table this for now, because it's a non-issue, but it will be revisited later."

"Feel free to revisit it whenever you like. My feelings on the issue will be the same."

Leaning over his shoulder again, she pointed at the bottom of the page. "This one's better."

"Which on-? I see what you're doing. Henry read aloud, 'My future spouse and I can talk candidly about our sexual intimacy in marriage.' The master of topic diversion is working her magic."

Walking around to the front of the chair, she dropped to her knees between his legs and dropped the survey on the floor. Lacing her fingers around his neck, she pulled him so that their foreheads touched. "Is it working?"

"Maybe," Henry ran his big hands up her torso, his thumbs grazing her nipples. He could feel them harden beneath her clothes. She let out a moan and tipped her head back so he could kiss her neck. "Hey, Elizabeth," he looked into her eyes and tucked the wisps of stray hair behind her ear. "Promise me you won't ever fake it. And promise you will always tell me if I can do something better or more to your liking." His candor and serious tone made her blush. She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued, "I want nothing more than to love you and please you. In _EVERY_ way possible." She nodded. "I want to hear you say it," he whispered in her ear.

She swallowed thickly. " I will always make sure you know what I need, as long as you do the same."

"That won't be a problem." he said, pulling her up to his lap and devouring her.

Fr. Roberts was very helpful when they met him the next couple of times. They spent one whole session going over the survey. There were a few areas that he recommended they spend some time talking things out, but overall it went much as they expected. Their last session was spent planning the ceremony. Elizabeth appreciated that he spent quite a bit of time explaining how things would go and how the ceremony would differ from Mass. They also had to choose readings and songs. After more Bible reading than Elizabeth had ever done in her life (and planned ever to do again, for that matter), they chose:

1st reading: Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16; 8:6-7

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 128:1-2, 3, 4-5ac, 6a

2nd reading: Romans 8:31-35, 37-39

Gospel: John 15:9-12

Songs were easier because she only had to listen to a small part to weed out what she didn't like. That, and with no Mass, songs for musical interlude weren't necessary. She and Henry did, however, realize that they didn't consider finding a musician. Henry said that he'd call his mom that night and put her on that task. It would probably take her 10 minutes where it would take Henry or Elizabeth the better part of a day. They picked 2 specific songs for the official prelude, although they figured the organist or MaryHelen would add songs to be played as the guests arrived, then processional and the recessional.

For the Beauty of the Earth

Jesu, Joy of a Man's Desiring

Trumpet Voluntary/Prince of Denmark's March

Ode to Joy

The whole process took a couple of hours, but in the end, they walked away with a completely filled out worksheet for Fr. Tony to approve and they could check premarital counseling off of their to do list.

The next few weeks dragged on endlessly and flew by at the same time. The day to day struggle of balancing school work, planning the wedding and making time for each other was overwhelming. They got by on quick lunches together, coffee breaks outside the library and event free Friday nights. No matter what else was going on, they spent Friday night together. ROTC trainings happened on Saturday morning and papers and tests could wait to be worked on the next day.

It was February 24th, 3 week's from the wedding . Elizabeth was trying to go over the checklist one last time. Henry pulled the stack of papers away. "What are you doing?" she asked, more than irritated.

"You know what tonight is, right?"

Yes, it's Friday night."

"And you know what that means right?"

It's our only chance to make sure this crap gets done?" Elizabeth eyed the stack in Henry's hand weighing the chances of getting it back.

"No. It's our time. We don't have many opportunities to just be together. What do you want to do?"

"Maybe eat dinner out, have some wine, play Scrabble and make out?"

"See? That sounds fabulous. Although I'm leaning toward ordering dinner delivered and make out while we wait." Henry said giving her a sly grin.

"Oh, I like your style McCord!" She reached over picking up the phone and called their favorite pizza place.

"I'd like a large cheese pizza please." Henry's eyes grew wide. She mouthed "breakfast." He nodded. She gave them the address. "Thanks. Bye."

She went to her purse, pulled a $20 and laid it on the table nearest the door. Spinning around to face Henry she said, "Now what were your plans?"

Henry stood and crossed the room in three strides. "Something along the lines of this," he said picking her up and pinning her to the wall.

Elizabeth squealed and automatically locked her legs around Henry's waist. "This is probably ill advised," she giggled right before he took both of her wrists and pinned them above her head with his hand. She gasped.

"Maybe," He kissed her hard, plunging his tongue into her mouth. She squirmed underneath him digging her heels into his ass, as his free hand kneaded her breast

"Oh God! Henry!" She could feel his growing bulge pressed against her center. She was so wet, she thought she could probably wring her panties out. He continued to kiss her anyplace his lips would reach while maintaining his hold of her against the door.

The knock came, sounding like it was right next to Elizabeth's head, causing her to jump. Henry laughed and let her down. He opened to door just enough to pay the guy and get the pizza. When he turned around, she had retreated into the kitchen and returned moments later with paper plates and she was holding a couple bottles of beer. "Pizza and beer sounds better than pizza and wine."

They sat on the floor next to the coffee table leaning into each other while eating their pizza. Finishing her second slice, she leaned over to the and fished the Scrabble game out from under the other games on the bottom shelf of the coffee table.

They played several games and Henry even won one. Elizabeth was quick to point out that it was difficult to make words when her starting letters were x, z, qu, m, j, k and u. Henry said that it didn't matter and proceeded to do a victory dance, which caused her to laugh hysterically.

They ended the night cuddled up on the couch, each reading their own book. Elizabeth fell asleep against Henry's chest. He looked down at her calm and peaceful, curled up against him. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her temple. His feelings in that moment reconfirmed that this was how he wanted to spend the rest of his life.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"Do you have everything?" she asked for what was probably the sixth time in the past 10 minutes.

"Elizabeth, just stop! You are freaking out." Henry pulled her into a tight embrace. "Yes, we have everything. Well, except your mind. You lost that a couple weeks back." He kissed her chastely.

She playfully smacked his chest. "I should be totally pissed that you said that, but since it's true, I'll let it go. What were we thinking when we said that planning a wedding in the middle of the semester was a good idea?"

"I don't remember the whole conversation, but I believe it had something to do with you getting in my pants." They laughed.

"Two days, McCord! That is unless I've completely lost it by then and you have me committed."

"Let's get going. It's going to be a long drive."

It was after 8 on Thursday night. They had a five hour drive to make, but desperately wanted to already be in Pittsburgh Friday morning to take care of all of the loose ends before Saturday.

Climbing in the car, Henry leaned over and kissed Elizabeth. "Ready to do this?" he asked.

"I've never been so ready for anything in my life," she replied.

It was a little before 1 when they pulled up in front of his parents house. The lamp was on in the living room awaiting their impending arrival. The crept in quietly, leaving most of their things in the car. After using the bathroom and brushing their teeth, they crashed on the couch, not even bothering to change clothes.

Elizabeth stirred and woke to noise in the kitchen. She untangled herself from Henry and made her way across the living room and leaned in the doorway. Patrick McCord sat at the table, browsing the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. "I don't know how you two can possibly sleep like that," he said not looking up from the paper. "When did you get in?"

"Around 1," she said, pulling a cup from the cabinet and pouring herself a cup of coffee and having a seat opposite him. "Good morning, by the way."

"Good morning," Patrick put the paper down and studied her. "Damn, You look rough."

"Thanks," sarcasm dripping from her voice. _Asshole! Like I don't know that._

"Actually, I don't think I've ever seen you that you haven't looked like you just walked out of some model photo shoot or something. It's nice to know that you can actually look worn out and haggard like the rest of us."

"I'm just going to assume that was supposed to be some sort of compliment. Six exams, 3 papers and a presentation in the past week. I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep. It was my original plan to sleep on the drive last night, but Henry ended up pulling an all-nighter Wednesday night and I didn't want him to try and drive and stay awake, so I stayed awake with him."

"Probably a good idea." With that, he went back to his paper. Elizabeth finished her coffee in silence trying to prioritize her day. Checking her watch, it was 6:45.

"Do you mind if I use the phone?" she asked Patrick. "I want to make sure Geoffrey brings a couple things with him."

"Sure. Don't talk all day. That's long distance." Elizabeth nodded, rolling her eyes once she was out of Patrick's line of sight.

Elizabeth dialed Geoffrey's number and Frederick answered on the second ring. "Hi Frederick. How are you?" He told her a few things before she asked, "Is Geoffrey close by?"

"Good morning Lizzie," Geoffrey sounded downright chipper when he picked up the phone.

"Hey! Frederick says you are getting ready. I just wanted to make sure you remembered to bring my dress and the box that's next to it."

"Both are already packed, honey. Oh, there's been a slight change of plan."

Elizabeth's breath hitched. The phrase "change of plan" is not what she wanted to hear. "Instead of Frederick driving Manny's family, I'm just flying everyone and then I'll pick up a couple cars when we get to the airport. That way the trip is much shorter for the baby and we won't have to worry about having enough room for our stuff."

Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. "That sounds like a great idea. You are going to the hotel first, right? What time do you think you'll be there? I'd like to come over and say hi and spend a little time with you."

"Flight plan says we leave at 1, and the flight is only a little over an hour, So, if you have time, maybe come around 2:30."

"Perfect. I can't wait to see you. Travel safely. Love you. Bye."

MaryHelen came down the stairs just as Elizabeth hung up. "Elizabeth, dear! It's good to see you." She swept Elizabeth up in a warm hug. "Why are you up so early?"

"I just woke up. I think maybe my body is used to running on 4 hours of sleep. It's been a rough couple of weeks trying to get everything done."

"I can only imagine. The shower is free if you want to use it, then we can talk over breakfast."

Elizabeth slipped outside and grabbed her overnight bag out of the car. She went upstairs and got ready for the day.

Coming back down, she saw Henry still sleeping, but decided to let him be for the time being. Heading into the kitchen, MaryHelen was sitting at the table with her coffee. Elizabeth refilled her cup and sat down. "Are you ready for this?" MaryHelen asked.

"Definitely, but is it wrong to say I'm ready for it to be over? I've been constantly stressing over school work or the wedding since January and quite frankly, I'm tired. I just hope it all goes well."

"It will be fine. Honestly, if something goes wrong, most people won't even notice." She proceeded to update Elizabeth on last minute things that had been done. "The girls and I plan on leaving to go to the hall around 11 to decorate. You are welcome to join us, unless you have other things to attend to."

"I can do that. Henry and I need to go pick up the marriage license before that and then the only other thing I said I would do is meet Geoffrey around 2:30. Henry has to pick up the tuxes so I can take Geoffrey's to him. He could probably do that while I'm at the hall helping you guys. Rehearsal is at 5:30, right?"

"Yes, with dinner following. Are you staying at the hotel with Geoffrey tonight?"

"Yes, I just booked the same room all week. I figured that would be easier than switching around."

"That's a good idea," MaryHelen said.

"Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it, and I know Henry does too. We couldn't have pulled this off without you."

"You are most certainly welcome. I'm so excited for you both." MaryHelen reached across the table and took her hand. "Henry is very blessed to have you by his side."

"I appreciate I still think I got the better end of the deal."

MaryHelen laughed. "We'll see if you say the same thing a few years from now."

After finishing their coffee and some idle chit chat, Elizabeth excused herself and padded back into the living room. "Henry, baby," she said caressing his face. "Time to wake up." She planted feathery kisses on his forehead, cheeks, and finally lips.

His eyes opened sleepily and she came into focus. "Mornin' babe,"

"Hi," Elizabeth murmured. She kissed his forehead again. "You need to get up. There's a lot to do today."

"But I like this better," he said snaking his hands around her waist and pulling her close. She lay on his chest and absorbed his comfort.

"I love you Henry Patrick McCord." She pecked him on the lips. "I could do this all day, but that's not how it's going to happen. Time to get up and get going. We have to pick up the marriage license before 11 and you need to get the tuxes and make sure I have Geoffrey's before I head to the hotel and I'm sure there are other things you will be needed to do.

Henry groaned, "Okay, fine. But tomorrow, I'm sleeping in."

"I don't care what you do tomorrow as long as you are standing at the end of the aisle when I start walking down it."

"I assure you that won't be a problem." Henry leaned in to kiss her, but diverted at the last moment and pecked her cheek. "Morning breath," he grinned and nudged her off the couch so he could get up.

Elizabeth ran outside to grab Henry's overnight bag for him and smiled as she was thankful that Henry had insisted on bringing just a small bag that would be things for his parents and a shared suitcase for their things at the hotel. She appreciated that he thought ahead on things like that. Elizabeth knew she would be lugging all of her disorganized stuff everywhere. Chuckling to herself at the thought. she closed the trunk and headed back into the house.

An hour later, they were headed to the county clerk's office to pick up their marriage license. With the slight hiccup of not being able to find record of it for a few minutes and Elizabeth almost hyperventilating, the issue was resolved, paperwork signed, and they were on their way.

Elizabeth was rubbing her temples, a headache brewing there. Henry looked over at her and took her hand. "It's ok. We got it taken care of. Try not to worry."

"That was supposed to be easy, and it got all messed up. What are we going to do if something big is messed up? What if I forgot something important?" Tears were stinging her eyes. Rationally she knew she was overreacting. She knew it would be fine. However, she couldn't get the rational brain to listen to the rest of her. Sobs bubbles out of her uncontrollably.

Henry had pulled off the road into a parking lot and parked. "Okay, let it all out." Henry knew this was just the stress of everything going on and did his best to be supportive and not be annoyed by how irrational she was being. In a few minutes, her crying had mostly subsided. He wiped her eyes with a tissue. "Just lean back and close your eyes for a few minutes and breathe slowly." He reached across her, pulling the seat recline level and pushed it back. "I'm going to grab something for you. I think it will help."

Henry disappeared from the car and Elizabeth was too tired not to follow his directions. In fact, she was asleep when he returned 5 minutes later. Chuckling to himself, he set the bag on the console between them and held the coffee cup as he backed up and headed toward the church and reception hall that needed decorated.

About 20 minutes later Henry nudged Elizabeth to wake her. "Hey sleepyhead. We're here." She rubbed her eyes.

"We're where?" She tried to get her bearings, but was completely disoriented.

"At the hall. It's 10:30. Mom and the girls aren't here yet, so you have some quiet time. I got you this. He handed her the bag. "And this." He held up the coffee.

Peering inside the bag, she gasped, "Oh dear God Henry! I love you so much!" She pulled a bear claw from the bag and immediately shoved it in her mouth. "Mmm," she swallowed the bite. "This is so good. I love that you know I stress eat pastries." She kissed him before taking another bite. He handed her the coffee. They sat in silence a few minutes while she finished eating. Elizabeth turned to him. "Thank you Henry."

"You're welcome," he said.

"No-well yes, thank you for this," she said holding up the coffee. "But I mean thank you for loving me, for choosing me to 'do life' with you. And thank you for being you. I don't know how I got so lucky."

"Luck has nothing to do with it. I told you this has been God's plan all along. If it weren't, I'd be in the seminary right now, we'll on my way to being a priest."

Elizabeth had been about to say something quippy about God, but the priest part threw her. "Really?" She was dumbfounded. "You were really going to be a priest?" Henry nodded. "How did I not know this?"

"I guess it just never came up." Looking across the parking lot, he saw his mother pull in. "They're here. You've got to go. I'm going to go pick up the tuxes and I'll leave Geoffrey's in the car so it can get to the hotel.. is that ok?"

"Yeah, sure," Elizabeth was totally distracted now by this whole new train of thought. "I'll see you later," she leaned over and pecked him before climbing out of the car.

Erin caught sight of her and waved. When Elizabeth made it over to them, Erin was giddy with excitement, "This is so fun." MaryHelen held the door and when Erin put her armload of decorations down she swooped Elizabeth into a big hug. "I can't wait for tomorrow!" Elizabeth caught Maureen rolling her eyes.

Brushing it off, Elizabeth smiled widely at Erin. "It is exciting, isn't it?"

MaryHelen flipped on all of the lights. "Okay Elizabeth. Do you have any particular ideas about how you want this to look?" Elizabeth shot her a dear in the headlights look.

"Uhh—I didn't think much about this." Panic started to rise in her chest.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" Maureen said, exasperated.

"Watch your mouth Maureen!" MaryHelen chastised.

"Sorry," the eye roll was evident even in the apology. Looking directly at Elizabeth, she said, "You really don't know what you want? You don't have any ideas, at all?"

The way Maureen said it made Elizabeth feel very small and stupid, but she did her best to not make that feeling apparent as she responded, "Room decoration just isn't usually something I notice, unless it's tacky. Do you have ideas?"

"Of course. Just do what I tell you." With that she headed over to the table where everything had been dumped.

Elizabeth leaned over to Erin and whispered, "She won't purposely screw It up, will she?"

"The Queen will be pleased," Maureen said from across the room as she set to work.

Over the next couple of hours, Elizabeth developed a new respect for Maureen. She doled out orders left and right and within a couple hours, tables had been covered in plastic sheeting, alternating red and white. Silver confetti had been placed strategically on the tables, enough to be decorative, but not so much to make a giant mess. Buffet table was set up and cake table off to the side. The head table was large enough to accommodate the wedding party along with Geoffrey, Patrick and MaryHelen.

Looking around at what she thought was a very large number of tables, she asked MaryHelen, "So how many RSVPs do we have?" The area looked like it could easily seat 300 people and going through her mind, she and Henry had only invited about 75, many of which she didn't figure would actually come with it being the start of Spring Break.

"I think last count was 350, but we got food for 365 to be safe."

Elizabeth's jaw almost hit the floor. "Are you serious? Do we even know that many people?"

"Maybe you don't, but it appears your Uncle and I do." MaryHelen grinned at her. "You do understand that weddings are as much for the families as the couple, right?"

"I do now. The more the merrier I guess!"

Maureen crossed the hall with purpose. "Ok, now the real work begins." Elizabeth looked perplexed.

"What real work?"

"Table decorations/centerpieces. Don't worry, I've got it covered. Just give me some cash and I'll go to the craft store and pick up what I need."

"Uhhh, okay." How much?"

"$50 ought to do it, but give me $60 to be safe."

Elizabeth winced. "Is this really necessary?"

"You've got 350 people coming to this shindig. You want to make a good impression, don't you?"

"Appealing to my sense of vanity will likely get you what you want. At least in this case." Elizabeth walked over and pulled her purse off the back of the chair. Looking in her wallet, she grimaced. All she had was a $20 and a $100. _What are the chances I'll escape without a hateful comment? Yeah, don't think so._ Elizabeth handed the $100 bill to Maureen.

Maureen raised her eyes at Elizabeth. Elizabeth decided to go with the preemptive strike. "Yeah, I know. Rich girls with the big bills. Don't get too excited. It's all the cash I have."

"There's probably more where that came from," Maureen folded the bill and stuck it in her pocket. "Mom, can I take the car and go to Ben Franklin to get stuff for centerpieces?"

"Sure," MaryHelen called from the opposite side of the room.

"What do we need to be doing while you're gone?" Elizabeth asked.

"There isn't much to do until I get back. Shouldn't take too long though. Erin, do you want to come help?" Shrugging, Erin followed, leaving Elizabeth alone with MaryHelen.

They sat down at the end of a table. Elizabeth thought back to her earlier conversation with Henry. "Henry mentioned something to me this morning that surprised me." MaryHelen leaned in, listening. "He said that he was going to be a priest."

"Yes," She wrinkled her forehead. "You didn't know that?"

"No. Should I have known?"

"Oh, I don't guess so. I just figured it would have come up. He was already signed up to go to the seminary this past fall. When he met you, he changed his mind and decided to finish at UVA and complete his Theology degree. Originally he said that he just decided he wanted to finish his degree at UVA. It was after we met you that I knew you played a large part in that decision."

"That bothers me. I don't like the idea that it's my fault he's not going to be a priest."

"You should probably talk to Henry about this, but since we're here, I'm throwing my two cents out. Henry was on the path for a vocation that he thought was God's will for him. When he met you, he realized that God's will was not to become a priest, but to be a husband. Your husband.

From my vantage point, I was thrilled that he was going to be a priest, and I was a little dismayed that he wasn't going to seminary. Now, seeing him with you, I can tell that he's where he really belongs."

"Hey, it's my two favorite women!" Henry exclaimed when he walked across the room. "Where are Maureen and Erin?" Henry gave his mom a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of Elizabeth's head before taking a seat.

"They went to the craft store for things to make centerpieces," Elizabeth informed him.

"It's almost 2. Did you want me to drive you to the hotel? I have Geoffrey's tux with me."

"Yes. I would like that." Turning to MaryHelen, "Do you think it would be ok to go or should I wait for Maureen and Erin?"

"No go on ahead. I'll stay and help the girls if they need anything."

"Thanks. And thanks for what you said earlier." MaryHelen smiled as Henry and a Elizabeth walked out hand in hand.

"What were you and Mom talking about?"

"The priest thing. How come you never told me?" Elizabeth studied him, looking for some viable reason.

"Well, when we were new, it's not a great come on line to say you're thinking about being a priest. I never told anyone I dated right away. Usually it came out when I was breaking it off. Then, by the time I knew you a little better, I thought you might judge me negatively because of it, so I waited. Then, it didn't matter because I had figured out that I wasn't supposed to be a priest and it didn't seem important to bring up at all. I never made a decision not to tell you. It wasn't malicious. It just seemed like something that was long ago and not worth bringing up. I hope you aren't mad. Are you?"

"No, not mad. It just leaves me questioning. We've talked about so many things. It just makes me wonder what else you have chosen not to share." Elizabeth stopped. "But, just now as I say that, I don't think it's fair for me to even think I need to know everything. There are likely things that I haven't told you, mostly just because there hasn't been a reason to tell you. Like you said, not malicious." She looked at him softly. "I suppose we have the rest of our lives to learn everything." She relaxed back in the seat. "Of course there is the whole pissing God off because I snatched away what would've been an excellent priest."

"I'm confident that is not the case. I'm telling you. This." Henry gestured between the two of them. "Us. This is His plan. Not me being a priest. That was my plan when I didn't know the real plan." He kissed her hand. "Let's get you to the hotel."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

They all climbed out of the limousine in front of the church at 5:20. Elizabeth had cozied up to Gianna quite nicely and spent most of the afternoon cuddling her when she wasn't being fed or changed. They all had a nice visit, but as time drew nearer for the rehearsal, Elizabeth's stomach was tied in knots. She had no idea why she was so nervous, but she really struggled with keeping her breathing regulated and her lunch down.

The McCord family was already there waiting in the back of church, chatting idly. Elizabeth made all of the introductions and immediately MaryHelen and Geoffrey started chatting like old friends. Erin and Maureen were enamored with baby Gianna, and Henry and Will were talking. Glancing around, she didn't see Patrick. It was then that there was a hand on her shoulder. "Looks like a friendly enough bunch," Patrick said.

"They're alright. I like them," she commented nonchalantly, hoping that there wouldn't be anything too hateful said. She wasn't sure she could handle it with grace. She decided to change the subject where they were on more equal footing. "So what's your big front yard project?"

"I need to tear out the two big bushes in the front yard. Looks like the root system is getting against the foundation of the house. I don't want that to cause any cracking."

"That's it? That won't take more than a day. I thought you said big projects." She threw an elbow lightly into his arm.

"Well that was when I thought I had help. I think I lost my help to a honeymoon."

"What do you mean? The help is here, although, this part of the help wouldn't mind waiting until Monday to start. I need to catch up on my beauty sleep remember ."

Patrick laughed, "Because that's what you'll be doing."

She couldn't attempt to hide the blush that flooded her face. "You did not just say that." Patrick shrugged. Henry from across the room witnessed the interaction and came zipping across the church to rescue her.

"What's going on?" Henry asked, ready to pounce on his Dad for saying something rude to Elizabeth.

"Nothing," she said. "Your Dad was just telling me about his projects for the front yard. What else besides the bushes?"

"Just rebuilding a couple planters and then planting some perennials for the fall. Oh, here comes Fr. Tony."

Fr. Tony welcomed them all and gave them a general overview of what was going to happen. As they took their places, Gianna started to fuss. Manny was trying desperately, and unsuccessfully, to settle her. Maria was just about to get her when MaryHelen nodded to Henry. "Why don't you go and work your magic? Give Maria a break." Henry grinned and stepped over, taking Gianna, shushing and bouncing her back to his place at the altar. Within a couple minutes she was sleeping soundly. They finished the rehearsal without any further disruption, Henry cradling Gianna in the crook of his right arm.

Elizabeth was in awe. She whispered in his ear. "How did you do that? Or better yet, when did you learn to do that?"

Henry smiled widely at her and murmured, "I don't know that I learned it. It's just always something I've been able to do. In junior high and high school, I often got put in the baby rooms to babysit for church events."

Whispering so only he could hear, she said, "I think that is the sexiest thing I've ever seen you do. You are hot beyond belief. You just wait until tomorrow night." She heard the catch in his breathing and she smiled into his ear.

As they finished, Patrick announced that they would be going around the corner to the Knights of Columbus Hall for dinner. Henry sighed, "This has my father's name written all over it."

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"The dinner. Just wait," he said.

"Oh-kay." Elizabeth began to get a little concerned about what she'd agreed to several weeks ago. MaryHelen had called and explained that the rehearsal fell on a Friday night during Lent, which meant only seafood or vegetarian dishes. Then she wanted to know if Elizabeth wanted the dinner at a restaurant or if they could take part in the parish fish fry. Elizabeth readily agreed to whatever MaryHelen wanted because she figured it would be easier being close to the church. Now, with Henry voicing concern, she hoped she hadn't made a mistake in not talking with him about it.

When they walked in Henry gasped. "They certainly upscaled this event," he said letting out a shaky breath. One end of the room was decorated with beautiful flowers and had a long table covered with a white linen tablecloth. China place settings covered the table along with crystal stemware. It was all very pretty, but before they even stepped foot beyond the doorway, they were stopped.

"If you could wait just a moment, Henry," said an older gentleman. "There is a specific order and the couple of the evening are last to enter."

"Sure, Mr. Jenkins." Henry and a Elizabeth stepped to the side. Of course most of the room was eating and chatting away and Elizabeth just watched. She wondered if everyone really knew each other or they were just being social over their dinner.

Suddenly, someone stepped to the microphone at the far end of the room and began speaking. "We ask for a moment of silence as the honored couple enter." Elizabeth could feel herself blush with all eyes on her. Soft music began to play and from the side of the room a stream of men wearing full tuxedos, black chapeaux with a gold plume of feathers, and gold and black capes emerged walking in step two by two. They formed a corridor from the doorway to the table. Elizabeth's mouth was quite literally hanging open.

"This is so cool," she whispered to Henry. "Did you know about this?"

"No, but just wait, because I know what happens next," he said squeezing her hand. She glanced over at him and he grinned.

When they all were in position, the guy with the microphone said, "Draw." Collectively they drew their swords making a walkway for the group. MaryHelen and Patrick went through first, followed by Geoffrey, Shane and Erin, Maureen and Shawn, Will, then Maria and Manny with Gianna. Elizabeth was going to go, but Henry held on to her hand. The man spoke again, "Mr. Henry McCord and Miss Elizabeth Adams." Then they walked to the table. When they had been seated, the Knights sheathed their swords and walked two by two back to where they came from. Chatting and eating of the rest of the crowd resumed.

"That was the coolest thing ever, and you were worried." Elizabeth elbowed Henry and laughed. Several ladies brought out platters and bowls of food and set them around the table. Patrick led them in prayer and then they ate. Elizabeth swore she'd never had better fish in her life. The actual meal wasn't fancy: fried fish, potato salad, coleslaw, baked beans, and hush puppies, but it was so very tasty. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Over the next couple of hours, several people came up to them to congratulate the couple and wish them well. Finally, it was nearing time for them to go. Elizabeth found herself dreading saying goodbye to Henry. Geoffrey, Will, Maria and Manny gave thanks and said goodbye to everyone. Elizabeth thanked MaryHelen and Patrick for such a wonderful evening. Henry walked her to the door. "Tomorrow's the day babe. Do you think you're ready to be Mrs McCord?"

"Yes, I just wish we didn't have to be apart."

"It's our last night apart for quite a while," he said. Leaning down, he kissed her softly, turning her legs into jelly. "That will have to do until tomorrow afternoon." Elizabeth took a step toward the limo where everyone was waiting for her. She held onto his hand until their fingers broke apart. "I love you," Henry said.

"I love you."


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: The wording for the wedding ceremony is lifted directly from the Catholic Church.

I thought it was appropriate that I post this chapter today, since it's my wedding anniversary! Woo-hoo!

We've been trying to get to this wedding for some time now. I hope it is worth your read.

Chapter 40

After bidding everyone goodnight, Elizabeth stepped inside the suite that was to be hers and Henry's for the next week. It was beautiful. It had a nice seating area with TV, a king-sized bed, and a large bathroom that had both a huge shower and a jetted bathtub.

She milled around for a bit, putting her clothes in the drawers and finally decided to draw a bath, hoping to calm her nerves.

Laying in the warm water, she thought about the events so far. Maureen hadn't even spoken to her this evening, so she had no idea how the decorating had gone, plus she didn't get her change back. She sighed. Probably wouldn't see that money again. Not that it really mattered. Maureen had been a huge help, now she just paid her to do it.

The dinner was fabulous. The whole Knights with swords thing was a page out of a fairytale. She didn't know whose idea that was, but she needed to find out and thank them.

Then there was Henry and Gianna. She smiled thinking about it. He looked so comfortable with a baby in his arms and there was definitely something very attractive about it. Arousing even. She blushed at her own thought.

Elizabeth hadn't given a whole lot of thought to their wedding night in terms of anything other than finally getting to make love. Now, that the time was upon them, she realized how nervous and insecure she was. She couldn't shake the thoughts from her head. _What if it's really bad? What if I disappoint Henry? What if I can't please him?_ It was really just unending. Frustrated with herself, she got out of the tub and dried off. She slipped on a pair of sweatpants and one of Henry's t-shirts. She had just laid down willing herself to sleep when the phone rang.

 _What in the world_ she thought as she up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey there, beautiful," he said softly.

"Henry," Elizabeth let out the breath she felt like she'd been holding for two days. "Why are you calling?"

"I didn't need anything. I can go if you're busy." He sounded a little defeated.

"No, no, no. Please. I didn't mean it like that. I just thought there might be something going on. I miss you. How long can you talk?"

"As long as I don't get caught on the phone. I pulled the phone cord as far as it would reach and I'm hiding in the closet hoping no one gets up and notices me missing."

Elizabeth giggled. "You're really hiding in the closet?"

"Hey. A man's got to do what a man's got to do."

"I love you." She thought about talking to him about her worries, but then backtracked. "I, uh, nevermind."

"What babe? I can tell something is bothering you."

"Uh, well, I'm nervous."

"About marrying me?"

"No, never. That is the only thing holding me together. I'm nervous about everything going well." She decided she didn't lie. She was concerned about that too.

"And?" Henry could tell she was holding back.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"You want to know what I'm nervous about? I'm nervous about being there with you tomorrow night. We've got a lot of emotion that's been building up for tomorrow night. What if it isn't what we've built it up to be?" Henry sighed.

"You're worried about that too. It's all I can think about. Henry, what do we do at that point?"

"Maybe go with practice makes perfect. I don't know. But I hope that we will work it out."

"We just need to be understanding of each other. And talk. I'll try to remember that." Elizabeth was feeling better already. "Will that be awkward?"

"Maybe, but's it's not like we never been awkward before. I spent all my high school years in that position."

Elizabeth laughed. "I still think I'm awkward in everything I do."

"Henry assured her. "That is your perception. I promise you are nothing but smart, beautiful, graceful and poised. Never awkward."

"I can't wait to see you, she said.

"I'll be the one at the end of the aisle waiting."

She smiled into the phone. "I'll get there as quickly as I can."

"Get some sleep Elizabeth."

"You too." She hung up the phone and smiled before laying back down.

She wasn't sure how she did it, but somehow Elizabeth managed to fall asleep shortly after getting off the phone with Henry and she didn't wake up until there was a knock at the door. Rubbing her eyes, she stared at the clock. "9 o'clock! Shit! I'm coming!" Rolling out of bed, she stumbled to the door. Opening it, she was greeted by both Geoffrey and Will, who had a bag that she was sure held pastries. "Thank you!" She said snatching the bag, opening it and pulling out an apple fritter. "So good! How is everyone?" She motioned to them to sit down.

"Are you ready for today?" Geoffrey asked.

"Yes, more than ready," she said. "I have to be at the church at 11 to get ready. You guys need to be there around 11:30 to take the pictures that don't have Henry and I together. How's everyone else?"

"They're all downstairs eating breakfast in the restaurant. I think everyone got a good night's sleep," Will said.

"Okay. I'm going to shower. I have a hair appointment at 10 and will then head over to the church. Anything I can do for anyone?"

"Nope. We're all good," Geoffrey said. "I'll be back later to check on you."

Geoffrey joined Elizabeth at some point while she was getting her hair done. Maria was having her hair styled as well and the two chatted. "I think Henry needs to move to Connecticut so that he can settle Gianna when she gets fussy. Did you see that? It was amazing!"

Elizabeth smiled, "I know. It was super sweet."

They finished and headed to the church. Elizabeth made Geoffrey check the area first to make sure that Henry wasn't anywhere about. When she was satisfied that the coast was clear, she went inside to the bridal room. The dresses were hung in the corner. Maria unzipped the garment bag that had her dress in it. Elizabeth hadn't even seen it yet. Maria sent her the swatch of fabric and told her the general style, but that was it. Elizabeth helped her step into the dress and zipped it up the back for her. It was a metallic gray color but the material had a sheen to it and was very flattering on Maria, who was petite and slender, even after just having a baby.

Maria helped Elizabeth get into her dress and laced it up the back. She attached the veil to the clips in the hairpiece. Elizabeth wore most of her curls piled on her head with a few stray tendrils framing her face. There were several pearl bobby-pins fixed in her hair and the beaded hairpiece sat pinned on the crown of her head. There was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" she asked. She didn't think it would be Henry but wanted to be sure.

"Geoffrey and MaryHelen," came the reply. Maria opened the door and the two stepped in. When they saw Elizabeth, they both gasped. "You are so beautiful Lizzie, positively radiant! We're here to bestow gifts for your big day."

"Thank you," Elizabeth was a little confused.

"Have you heard the phrase 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue?'" MaryHelen asked.

"I've heard of it but haven't given it much thought."

"Well you need all four. Something old stands for continuity, love through the ages," MaryHelen said handing her a small box. Opening it, she found a very delicate pearl rosary. "This belonged to Henry's great grandmother. If you like, you can thread it into your bouquet so you don't have to hold it the whole time." Elizabeth was going to protest such a sentimental family gift, but MaryHelen stopped her, "When she passed, I received one for each of the girls and the boys' wives. I didn't know it would be you at the time, but this is most certainly yours. Something new is for hope for the future. That would be your dress."

Maria stepped forward. "Something borrowed symbolizes borrowed happiness. This handkerchief has been held by every bride in my family for at least the last hundred years. You may use it today."

"And last but not least something blue." Geoffrey handed her a large jewelry box. "The blue stands for purity, love and fidelity." Elizabeth was already on the verge of tears at the significance of the other gifts, but she couldn't choke back the sob when she opened the box. It held a beautiful sapphire and diamond necklace.

"Mom's necklace. I thought it was long gone."

"No dear. I've had it this whole time, saving it for you." She turned around so he could clasp it around her neck and stepped in front of the mirror. "I really do look like her."

"Yes Elizabeth, you do, so much so," All three gave her a hug and were summoned to into the church to take pictures that Elizabeth wasn't in. As she sat there alone, with only her thoughts to keep her company, she found herself having a daydream about her parents being with her in that moment.

"Lizzie, we've been watching over you this whole time. We know it's been hard, and we're sorry you've had so many trials. We're so proud of the woman you've become. Henry is a good man. He will take care of you and you do the same for him. Your marriage needs to be held with utmost importance. Never give up on it. It will be the thing that gets you through any tough times to come. We love you baby girl."

Tears were streaming down her face. Using Maria's handkerchief, she dabbed at her eyes and checked the damage to her makeup. _Not too bad. We'll reapply. Thank god for waterproof mascara._

Maria returned to get her and they took several pictures. Guests had started arriving, and they were down to about 30 minutes before start time when pictures finished. Heading back to the bridal room, she and Maria waited not so patiently.

Meanwhile. Henry was pacing the sacristy. Shane was lounging on a chair in the corner. "Can you please just sit? You're wearing me out." Shane huffed.

"It's like I can't stop moving. If I do, I'll explode."

"One more reason not to get married, impending doom!" Shane laughed. Henry smiled, but continued to pace.

Fr. Tony stepped in. "Are you almost ready?" he asked.

"I'm so ready… and so not." Henry looked up. "What if I'm pushing Elizabeth into this? What if she's not ready? What if she ends up resenting me?"

"Henry," Fr. Tony spoke strongly. "Stop doing this. I've never seen two people more ready. Take a deep breath and get out there." Henry stood and walked out. "Good grief," Fr. Tony chuckled to himself as he followed.

Henry stepped out and took a deep breath. After bowing toward the Tabernacle, he walked down and gave his parents a hug and took his place to the left of Fr. Tony. As the last prelude song started to play, Maria and Shane walked up arm in arm. Henry tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Maria and Shane took their places, and Henry closed his eyes. With one last deep breath, he tried to calm his nerves as he waited for the doors to open.

Elizabeth stood at the door of the bridal room, waiting to be called. "I think I'm going to throw up," she said glancing around the room to locate the trash can.

"No, you're not," Geoffrey took her hand. "You're going to be fine. Especially after the next 30 minutes or so. Just hang on." There was a knock at the door and Geoffrey cracked it. He turned to look at Elizabeth. "It's time Lizzie. Let's go get you married." He took her hand and they walked down the hall and stood behind a set of carved oak doors. She managed a smile when she thought about the first time she walked into this church, drawn in by the beautiful doors on the side of the church. That seemed like forever ago and yesterday all at the same time. In the back of her mind, she heard the music begin. Geoffrey squeezed her hand and she turned to look at him. "Smile." The doors opened with gust of air swirling around her, she saw Henry at the far end of the aisle and she smiled.

The doors opened and Henry stopped. He stopped breathing. He thought his heart had stopped, but the only thing he could hear was the sound of it thumping wildly in his ears. Never in his life had he seen anyone more beautiful. She was quite literally glowing. She sunlight fell through the windows framing her as she stood in the doorway with Geoffrey.

Henry started to sway. Shane grabbed him by the elbow. "Don't lock your knees or we'll be picking you up off the floor." Henry nodded. Elizabeth was walking up the aisle looking at him. Her smile was radiant. He couldn't figure out how she could be so calm when his insides were waging a war within the confines of his abdomen.

He was lost in his thought for a second and there he was standing next to him. Geoffrey gave her a kiss saying, "I love you Lizzie." Then the took Elizabeth's hand and placed it in Henry's. "Love her well Henry." Geoffrey stepped back to sit with Will, Manny, Gianna, Frederick and Otto and his wife. Elizabeth turned to take one last look at Geoffrey. She smiled at him, so very thankful in that moment that he was still here to give her away. Her eye caught Otto's and her smile grew wider. No one had told her he was able to come. He winked at her, and motioned her to turn around and get on with it.

Turning back to Henry, he took her other hand in his as well. "Hi," he said, finally letting go of that breath he'd taken ages ago.

"Hi," she whispered, shyly, tears already threatening to fall.

"Are you ready?" Fr. Tony asked. Nodding, he began with the welcome and an opening prayer. They sat next to Henry's parents for the readings, standing for the Gospel and then sitting to listen to the homily. Fr. Tony spoke on the importance of the Sacrament of Matrimony and how it was a lifelong commitment. Henry had his fingers interlaced with Elizabeth's. Pulling her hand over to the top of his thigh, he covered it with his other hand, gently squeezing it. Looking over at him, she realized that her nerves had all but disappeared and by the look on Henry's face, his had too.

Henry caught her glance and they became lost in each other's eyes. Patrick threw an elbow into Henry breaking his trance. Looking up, he saw that Fr. Tony was back down in front of the altar and Maria and Shane were standing and waiting for them. Elizabeth giggled and he helped her stand and they made their way to their spot. Henry looked a little sheepish and making eye contact with Fr. Tony, he said, "Sorry. I got a little distracted," which elicited chuckles from the first several pews and Elizabeth.

"Well, now that you are back with us," Fr. Tony smirked. "Let's continue.

"Dearly beloved, you have come together into the house of the Church… so that you may have strength to be faithful to each other for ever and assume all the responsibilities of married life. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions..

"Henry and Elizabeth, you have come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

They responded in unison, "I have."

"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other as long as you both shall life?"

"I am," they said smiling at each other.

"Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church?"

"I am."

"Since it is your intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and His Church." Elizabeth reached out her hand and Henry took it in his. The butterflies were back. She took a deep breath and gave Henry a shaky smile, which he returned, indicating he felt much the same way.

Looking at Henry, Fr. Tony said, "Please repeat after me."

"I, Henry, take you, Elizabeth, to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life." Elizabeth had purposely been looking at their hands trying desperately to keep the tears at bay. As he spoke his vows, there was a force far stronger than her will that pulled her eyes to his. In his gaze, she found an unparalleled love that filled the depths of her soul. When the first tear pushed its way out, the rest followed as if a great dam had been broken. They silently flowed down her face as she stood smiling at Henry. Elizabeth knew Fr. Tony had turned his attention to her, but she was unable to speak. She looked at him, held up one finger and mouthed, "just a second." Fr. Tony nodded. Maria pressed the handkerchief into her hand. She dabbed her eyes and took a shaky before nodding to Fr. Tony.

"Please repeat after me."

"I, Elizabeth, take you, Henry, to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life." Her voice didn't crack until the very end and, of course, Henry smirked at her, which made her laugh, through a ridiculous number of tears.

Fr. Tony smiled over both of them. "May the Lord in his kindness strengthen the consent you have declared before the Church and graciously bring to fulfillment his blessings within you. What God has joined, let no one put asunder.

"May the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob, the God who joined together our first parents in paradise, strength and bless in Christ the consent you have declared before the Church, so that what God joins together, no one may put asunder.

"Let us bless the Lord."

The response through the church was, "Thanks be to God."

"May I have the rings, please." Shane and Maria each handed Fr. Tony a ring. "May the Lord bless these rings that you will give to each other as the sign of your love and fidelity." After sprinkling them with Holy Water, he handed the ring to Henry.

Slipping the ring on her finger, he said, "Elizabeth, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

The tears, which had sort of subsided, now threatened again, but Elizabeth was determined to keep them away until she said what she needed to. She accepted the ring from Fr. Tony and slipping it on Henry's finger, she said, "Henry, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

Maggie Montgomery stepped to the podium and offered the Prayers of the Faithful to which everyone responded, "Lord, hear our prayer."

Elizabeth leaned into Henry and whispered, "I didn't know Maggie had a part."

Henry chuckled softly, "I didn't either. MaryHelen McCord is a woman of many resources."

When Mrs. Montgomery stepped down, Fr. Tony invited everyone to stand. Fr. Tony extended his hand over them, offering a blessing. Henry and Elizabeth bowed their heads. "Holy Father, who formed man in your own image...Grant, holy Father, that, desiring to approach your table as a couple joined in Marriage in your presence, they may one day have the joy of taking part in your great banquet in heaven.

Through Christ our Lord."

"Amen."

"Let us pray with confidence to the Father in the words our Savior gave us." Everyone prayed the Our Father. "Now let us humbly invoke God's blessing upon this bride and groom, that in his kindness he may favor with his help those on whom he has bestowed the bond of Marriage." Everyone bowed their heads in silent prayer.

"God the eternal Father keep you in love with each other, that the peace of Christ may dwell with you and abide always in your home."

"Amen."

"May you be blessed in your children and have solace in your friends and enjoy true peace with everyone."

"Amen."

"May you always bear witness in the world to God's charity, so that the afflicted and the needy who have known your kindness may one day receive you thankfully into the eternal dwelling of God

"Amen."

"And may almighty God bless all of you, who are gathered here, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

"Amen."

"I am pleased to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Henry McCord." Turning to Henry, he said, "You may kiss the bride." Henry smiled broadly and snakes his hands around Elizabeth's slim waist pulling her close. Bending down, he captured her top lip, sucking it gently, running his tongue along it so that no one would know but her. She pulled back just enough to break the kiss.

"Let's get this show on the road Mr. McCord."

"Yes ma'am, Mrs. McCord," he said offering his arm for her to take and they walked happily out of the church.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: Thanks for the kind reviews! They make me smile. Wedding night chapter is on deck. ;)

Chapter 41

Pictures took entirely too long and Elizabeth was starving by the time they were walking over to go to the reception. It was 4:30 and dinner wouldn't be served until 5. "Do you think anyone would care if I fixed a plate now?" she asked.

"You have duties, Mrs. McCord,"

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "What duties?"

"Reception line. You must be congratulated by approximately 375 people, about 360 of which you've never met." Elizabeth groaned.

"You're joking," she pleaded.

"I wish I were. At least I know most of them. It probably won't be quite as boring for me."

"Well thank goodness for th- Oh. My. God!" They stepped into the reception hall, which was a completely different place than Elizabeth left it yesterday.

"Wow! Who did all of this?" Henry was blown away. He was trying to take it all in. Shimmering silver gossamer billowed from the ceiling backed by strings of white lights that made the whole room softly glow. The tables each had clear glass hurricane lamps that held either red or white candles, all tied with silver bows.

"Your sister. It's beautiful, isn't it?."

"I didn't know Erin could do this." Henry was awe-filled.

"Not that sister." she said.

"You're kidding?" Shock filled Henry's face. "Maureen did all of this? Willingly?"

"It would seem so. I'm not going to worry about my change." Elizabeth muttered under her breath. Henry looked at her. "Oh, nevermind."

Just then the DJ came over the speakers. "Please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Henry McCord." Cheers came from around the room and people started getting up to go through the receiving line.

It was about 5:30 when everyone had been properly welcomed and thanked and Henry and Elizabeth were able to sit down and enjoy their meal. Even though she was starving, she excused herself and went to look for Maureen. She found her in a group with Shawn and what she figured were a bunch of high school or college friends. "Excuse me. Maureen, do you think I could have a moment?"

""Well, what does the Queen say?" Maureen asked gesturing to the room.

"It's absolutely beautiful. How did you manage to get all this done?"

"Eh, I enlisted some friends and Erin and Mom, of course. I paid my friends with the promise of an open bar tonight. And the best part- go ahead-ask how much it cost?"

"Okay, I'll bite. How much did it cost?"

"Nothing."

"What? That doesn't make any sense." Elizabeth was waiting to see how Maureen was somehow going to turn this into an 'Elizabeth is dumb' moment.

"Well, when we were at the store, we met this other girl who was looking at decorating stuff and we started talking. She liked my ideas, so she is going to come by tomorrow and buy all of the stuff that I bought yesterday and pay extra since I already put it together."

"That's impressive. So how much did you spend on the supplies?"

"$75 I know that's a little more than I estimated, but I thought the lights added a lot to the ceiling."

"Totally fine. It looks great. How much is she going to pay you?"

"$150"

"Wow! Impressive! You did a really nice job. Maybe you should do this wedding decorating thing for real. You could make good money at it."

"I have your change in my coat pocket at home. I'll give it to you whenever you come over later."

"Keep it. I think you earned it."

"The Queen gets generous."

"Do you want it or not? And you know that's really hateful, right?" Elizabeth's hopes for having some sort of meaningful conversation were squashed.

"Of course I know. Why else would I do it?" Maureen scoffed. "And yeah, I'll keep the extra." Turning on her heel, she walked away.

"Unbelievable," Elizabeth muttered as she went to sit back down with Henry.

"How was that?" Henry asked.

"She's a piece of work, but she decorated quite well, so I'm not going to let her ruin my night."

"Please don't. Look around though. Everyone is having a good time."

MaryHelen came up behind them and put her hands on their shoulders. "Anytime you are ready, we can do cake." Elizabeth shot Henry a look before looking down at her plate that remained mostly uneaten.

"Mom, we'll do that after Elizabeth finishes dinner, if that's alright." Henry tried to put his mom off without offending her. He wasn't sure that he achieved what he was aiming for though.

"Just let me know." and she zipped off. Henry turned his attention back to Elizabeth.

"What can I do for you babe?"

"Truthfully? Find me another plate of food. I'll eat it after cake."

"Will do. Do you even care what I get you?"

"Nope, whatever looks good will be fine," she said as she poked a forkful of green beans in her mouth.

Ten minutes later, Henry had returned with food, and Elizabeth's first plate was clean. "I'm feeling much more sociable now. Let's do cake."

Walking up to the table, Elizabeth felt bad that with so much going on, she hadn't even looked at the cake yet. It was simple, but classy, which is what she'd asked for. Three tiers (chocolate, white and chocolate for the anniversary top tier cake), white buttercream frosting, silver sugar beads around the edges, and a few red icing roses here and there. Because of the number of guests, they'd also ordered two full sheet cakes, one chocolate and one white.

"Ok, what is the process here?" Elizabeth whispered to Henry.

"Not entirely sure how we get it done, but we need to cut a slice out and feed it to each other, then share the champagne."

Elizabeth picked up the knife, and looked at Henry. He gave her a devilish grin and stepped in behind her, wrapping his left arm around her waist pulling her close. He covered her hand with his right hand and placed a kiss on her bare neck. Several "ooooh's" could be heard through the crowd. "I'm pretty sure this isn't the acceptable way to cut cake, McCord," she said.

"Whatever gets the job done babe," he smirked as they cut a piece of cake from the bottom tier and laid it on a plate. They both broke rather large pieces off and poised themselves to feed the other. "1… 2...3"

Shoving the cake into his mouth, she caught his wrist with her free hand as he pushed the cake in her mouth, trapping his fingers, where she sucked them clean. Cheers erupted from the crowd! "Two can play your game," she said coolly

"You are sexy," he whispered in her ear.

The champagne was a little challenging considering their height difference, but they managed it with minimal spillage. The team of cake cutters swooped in to collect the cake and set it out for the guests. Elizabeth and Henry went back to the head table so Elizabeth could finish her dinner. Henry collected Gianna on his way by and rocked her to sleep so that Manny and Maria could have a bit of time together.

Elizabeth spent some time looking around the room and spied the giant pile of presents off to the side. "Crap Henry, where are we putting the gifts? Your apartment is full enough with my stuff."

"Maybe we'll just store most of it in my parents' basement until we need a bigger place." Henry suggested.

"My house is available too," Geoffrey reached in, taking Gianna from Henry.

"Maybe. And we can also go through it and replace a few of your older things, especially in the kitchen."

"I like that idea." She leaned into him and relaxed. "What are people doing?" She noticed that a large number of people were gathering their things and putting coats on.

"Mass is at 7. They are all going to Mass and they'll be back for the dance at 8," Henry told her.

"Well, let's go."

"Really? You want to go tonight?" Henry couldn't help but be surprised.

She stood up and put her hands on his shoulders and leaned close to whisper, "Not particularly, but I'll be damned if you crawl out of my bed tomorrow morning to go to Mass. So let's go." Elizabeth pulled him to a standing position.

"We have a few minutes. The front pew is always reserved for the wedding party. You know I love you." He pulled her close smelling her shampoo and kissed the top of her head

.

As it turned out, most everyone was going. They started walking over. Henry removed his jacket to put over Elizabeth's shoulders. She smiled up at him wondering what she did to get someone so intuitive to her needs.

An hour later they walked out of Mass, holding hands, ready to get on with the night. They purposely waited to be one of the last into the hall, so that they could start the first dance right away and not get held up in other conversations.

Walking in, Henry flagged the DJ who was ready to go. Henry took his jacket from Elizabeth's shoulders and dropped it on a chair. They walked out onto the dance floor, pinky fingers linked, then turned to face each other. "How long is a respectable time to stay?" she asked.

"I don't know. An hour, maybe an hour and a half."

"Okay, leaving no later than 9:30."

"Do have other plans I should know about?" he asked teasingly.

"I'll let you know."

Nat King Cole's "When I Fall in Love" began to play. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Henry and he did the same. She pressed her head to his chest and listened to his heartbeat as they swayed in time to the music. Henry serenaded her as they danced, his low, smooth voice lulling her into another place. When the song ended, Elizabeth tilted her head up to look at him, and he kissed her sweetly.

Henry led Elizabeth off the dance floor and took his mother's hand. Elizabeth watched as he led her on to the floor. "Stand By Me," played. Elizabeth watched as they talked while they danced and how his mom let a few tears slide down her face before wiping them away. Elizabeth smiled. MaryHelen McCord had raised a wonderful son and Elizabeth loved her for it. The song ended and Geoffrey was by her side. "May I have this dance?"

"Of course." Elizabeth was a little perplexed because while she knew Henry had picked out a mother/son song, she hadn't picked anything because she wasn't sure how Geoffrey would feel about it. "I don't know that we have a song," she said, embarrassed.

"Yes, we do. I picked it," he said as he led her to the middle of the floor. "You Look So Good in Love" filtered through the speakers and Elizabeth smiled.

"I'm glad you're here," she said.

"Me too, although one of my bigger regrets is that I wasn't around soon enough."

"No, you can't think like that. Henry is big on God's plan. If things had been different, I might have been in a different place and wouldn't have even met Henry. I wouldn't say that I've bought into his line of thinking 100%, but it's growing on me. And by growing on me, I mean I'm not rolling my eyes in my head when he says it."

Geoffrey laughed. "I'm just thankful that God's plan kept me around for

this." He hugged her and they finished their dance in silence. As the song ended, several couple headed out to the floor and Elizabeth and Geoffrey stepped off.

Henry stepped in beside her with a plate of cake. She took it with a grateful look. "This is why our marriage will last. The man who brings me cake will forever be in my heart!" Henry laughed. He sat down on a chair near the dance floor and pulled her down to sit on his lap while she ate her cake. They made their way to the back and got a cup of beer, or two. When "Celebration" came on, she drug Henry out onto the floor. They stayed out for the next several songs and worked up a sweat. Henry glanced at his watch and alerted Elizabeth immediately. "The time is 9:28. We need to be going now!" Elizabeth laughed as he pulled her through the crowd to say goodbye to their family.

The DJ caught on to Henry's escape plan and made sure to announce their departure so everyone could cheer and wish them well. They climbed into the limo and set out for the hotel.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N:There is immense pressure to do this justice. I think we've all been waiting for what seems like an eternity. Hopefully it will meet your expectations.

Mostly RATED M-If that's not your thing, you may want to sit out this chapter and probably the next one too.

Chapter 42

They stood in the elevator, silently, side by side, holding hands, as it rose to the 4th floor. Stepping out, she led him to their room. _I thought the butterflies in my stomach were bad before the wedding. That had nothing on this!_ Henry had the room key in his pocket. He unlocked the door and pushed it open so she could enter. Stepping in behind her, he let the door fall shut. She turned to look over her shoulder, biting her lower lip and grinning at him. Henry closed the gap and wrapped her in a hug from behind. He planted kisses along her neck.

"Henry, could you do me a favor?"

"Of course, babe, anything you want?"

"Do you think you can take my hair down? It's starting to really bug me and I think it will be worse if I lay on it."

"Come here and sit down." He led her over to the straight back chair that was positioned at the desk. Carefully, he removed her headpiece and put it on the desk. Then he went about the tedious task of removing all of the bobby pins. Several minutes later, he asked, "Is that better?"

"Yes, so much!" Elizabeth ran her hands through her hair and pulled two more out, adding them to the pile.

"Come here," Henry said to her. Elizabeth stood and turned to face him. She could see the nervousness in his eyes, but also the love and reverence. Stepping forward, she loosened his tie and unbuttoned his vest and tossed both on the floor near the desk. She started working on his shirt buttons and when she got to the bottom, she pulled the shirttail from his pants, allowing it to be tugged from his shoulders.

"Undress me." It was more of a plea than a command. She turned her back so that Henry could unlace the dress. His fingers danced down her back until it was completely loose. Pulling her hair back, he kissed her neck, which she readily offered him. He pushed the dress off her shoulders and it slipped down her arms pooling at her feet. Nimbly, she stepped out of it. Clad only in white lace panties and a matching bra, Henry surveyed her body.

"God, you are gorgeous." he swallowed hard, trying to get past the lump in his throat.

Stepping up to him, Elizabeth ran her hands down his chest and abdomen. Without saying a word, she went to work on his pants. His belt was unfastened, pants unbuttoned and once she pushed them over his hips, they lay where they fell.

Henry brushed his fingers along her jaw and tangled them in her hair, pulling her closer to him. His lips descended on her taking her upper lip into his mouth. Automatically, their tongues took over sliding past each other in a well rehearsed dance igniting their arousal.

He reached behind her and unfastened her bra, hooking his fingers in the straps and pulling them down her arms until it fell free. He stepped back. "Please, Henry."

She walked over to the bed and threw back the sheets. Turning around, she asked, "Are you going to join me?" He took the two steps to meet her and caught her in his arms. He pressed her close, running one hand up her back and the other down, cupping her ass and pulling her into his hardening penis. She moaned and pulled his mouth to hers and pushed her tongue inside.

When the need for oxygen became overwhelming, they broke apart panting. She crawled to the middle of the bed and lay on her side, hand propping up her head.

Henry looked at his nearly naked wife laid out on the bed in front of him. He gave a self-deprecating laugh, "I bet if I'd done this at 16 in the back of a car, I probably wouldn't be so nervous."

"Maybe not, but then you might not have ended up here-with me." She got up on her knees and met Henry at the end of the bed. She kissed his neck and slipped her fingers in the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, freeing his erection. With her hands on his waist, she pulled him into a tight embrace, his hardened length pushing into her stomach, further arousing her. His hands slid down her sides catching in the fabric of her panties and pushing them down her thighs. "That's it," she mumbled against his chest.

Henry loosened his grip on her just the slightest and she pushed off his chest falling back onto the bed. "Make love to me Henry," she begged.

Something about the arousal and hint of desperation in her voice made him forget his nervousness and he only wanted to give in to desire. Kissing his way up her body he left a trail of goosebumps on her soft skin. He pulled her panties down her legs and tossed them over his shoulder. As his tongue ran along her hipbone, he felt her tremble beneath him. She put her hands on either side of his head and dragged him up her body to her lips. He kissed her passionately and she took his penis in her hand causing him to groan loudly. She slid him through her folds, coating him with her juices. "Oh, babe-God," she said as she lined him up with her opening.

"In me," she whispered and Henry pushed himself into her. It was intense, much more painful than what she was expecting and she sucked in a sharp breath. Henry immediately stopped, a terrified look on his face. "Hold on," she said. "Don't move. Just give me a second."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. I should've told you to go slow. I'm fine, really. I just needed a second to adjust." He kissed her again and advanced slowly filling her completely. "Oooh… Henry. You feel so good." She wrapped her legs around him encouraging him to move.

Henry started a slow rhythm, but it quickly became erratic as he was close when he started. "You feel so good baby." He pushed into her a few more times before his body went rigid and he spilled into her. He rolled off of Elizabeth and gave himself a couple minutes to catch his breath. Rolling back over into her side, he ran his fingers over her hip and said, "Okay, I just had to get over that hump. From now on, it's all about you."

Elizabeth giggled, "hump, cute pun there." Her giggle was cut short when his hand cupped her breast and his tongue swirled around her nipple, teeth grazing it. She arched her back up into him, the fire reignited. He switched to the other breast while his left hand slid down her side and under her ass pulling her into him. Pressure was building between her legs. She pushed her hips up into him trying to find a release. He shifted his weight and slipped his fingers into her center. Elizabeth moaned and grabbed his wrist holding his fingers to her clit where he started rubbing tight circles. Her pants were shallow, the pressure near the tipping point. He slipped two fingers into her and curled them pulling on the spongy spot just inside. He hit her spot over and over until Elizabeth's whole body short circuited and spasmed out of control. She rode the wave for quite some time and when she finally came back to Henry, she smiled, "I totally forgive you for coming without me earlier, and I'll pay you back as soon as I have regained control of my limbs."

Henry laughed. "That sounds promising. I'll hold you to it." He turned her limp, sweaty body just enough that he could spoon her and they lay there content.

Elizabeth woke a while later with Henry snoring lightly in her ear. She smirked. He was always teasing her about being the one who snored. She felt his hard-on pressing into her back and smiled. She shifted her body and Henry rolled on to his back. _Just where I want him._

Pressing feathery kisses on his chest, she started working her way down. The muscles in his abdomen twitched under her lips causing her to smile. Further down, she kissed his hips and inner thighs. He started to stir and that was her cue to wrap her hand around him and take him in her mouth.

Henry's eyes were still closed, but he was no longer sleeping, as if he could sleep through what she was doing to him. He slipped his fingers into her hair and he felt her smile against his tip. She took his full length in. She was warm and wet and her tongue was sinful. The way she licked and sucked just right. Henry moaned. "You feel so good. I want to come inside you, please baby."

She let him go and straddled his hips. She lowered herself slowly down on him. Her legs quivered at the pleasure this position was providing. She moved slowly at first, unsure of what she should be doing. "Is this okay?"

"So good, You feel so good. Can you go faster? I think I want it faster." She picked up her pace. "Oh yeah, that's it."

His hands were on her hips. She took them and placed them on her breasts. He rolled each nipple between his index finger and thumb making her cry out. "Henry, I'm so close."

"Me too."

She rode him harder and he pressed his thumb to her clit "So close," she drew in a ragged breath. He pressed harder and rubbed left to right sending her into oblivion while screaming his name. Her muscles clamped his dick in place and he thrust into her and stiffened before spilling into her. She slumped over into his chest. Both were gasping, trying to make up for lack of oxygen. "God baby, that was good." She patted Henry's chest.

"That it was." Henry leaned forward, glancing at the clock. "It's 1 am. Do you want to go to sleep?"

"Actually yeah, today wore me out, from beginning to end."

"Are you happy?" Henry wanted to know.

"Yes. You?"

"Very much so. I love you Elizabeth McCord."

"I like you alright too Henry McCord. By the way, I really like my new name." She kissed Henry and snuggled down into the covers wrapped in his arms.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Elizabeth started to emerge from probably the best night's sleep she'd had in months. She heard Henry's voice, although it seemed low and far away. He traced a cross on her forehead and kissed her temple. What is he doing? Weird. Elizabeth opened her eyes and caught him staring down at her smiling. "Good morning, hubby!" She giggled, "Good grief, that sounds so dorky. I won't be saying that again."

She pulled away from him rolling to the edge of the bed. "Be back in a minute." He watched her walk across the room, her naked form disappearing through the door.

The view took his breath away. How did I get so lucky? She could've had any man and she chose me. Please God, help me worthy to be her husband.

M RATED*

He followed her and leaned in the doorway, just watching. She was brushing her teeth. His mind went back to a similar scene just a few months prior. He smirked. The noise made her turn. She scanned his body, zeroing in on his erection. "Like what you see?"

"Absolutely. I was just having a little déjà vu."

"Oh really? What about?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

She knows exactly what I'm talking about. He walked over and stepped behind her, He planted kisses along both sides of her neck while he massaged her ass. She let a tiny moan escape and that was his cue to move his hands around to her front, up to her breasts. Squeezing and rolling her nipples, she melted into him, pushing her hips back into him, beggingbroebhisbtouch. "Is this ringing any bells?" he asked, desperately trying to keep his voice even.

"Oh--my--Gawd-Henry!" she panted "Please."

"Please, what?" he asked. "Tell me what you want."

"Fuck me. Hard," she gasped, "and fast." Drawing in another shallow breath. "I want. To watch."

"My pleasure." Henry widened his stance and pumped himself a couple times before sliding himself through her folds, her wetness coating him. Using every ounce of self control he had, he pushed his tip in slowly, making sure he didn't hurt her again. She nodded and he pushed himself the rest of the way in causing her to shriek in pleasure. He grinned and leaned over to kiss her shoulder. She held on to the edge of the vanity, knuckles white, not wanting to slip. Henry had her by the hips, pulling her up and slamming her back down, repeatedly. Their reflection in the mirror was making her dizzy and she was right there, ready to fall.

"Are you close?" she asked noticing the change in the rhythm and dropping her head trying to hold off for him.

"Y-y," he started to say and she didn't miss a beat, moving a hand between her legs to cup his balls. "Oh fuck, God," and he bucked hard into her riding his orgasm, sending her over the edge as well. He held her around the waist, as they both came down from their high. "How about a shower?" he asked.

"Sure, but can it just be a shower? I'm getting hungry and in my mind, shower sex requires a level of proficiency that I'm not sure we've achieved."

Henry shot her a look of disbelief. "One must practice to achieve proficiency."

She laughed, "True, but knowing my luck, there would be some sort of incident and we'd have to go to the ER and then we'd have to explain it. Later, okay?"

He reached in and turned on the water. "You do have a point, definitely before we leave. It would be wrong of us to waste this beautiful shower."

"Yes, it most certainly would be." Stepping inside, she got under the water and Henry followed.

END OF M RATED SECTION*

A while later, the couple was showered and wearing comfy clothes eating a room-service breakfast and watching TV. There was a faint knock at the door. Elizabeth gave Henry a confused look as he got up to answer it. Looking through the peephole, he stepped back to open the door. It was Will. He'd come to say goodbye, although he looked a little sheepish about knocking on the door.

"Get in here," Elizabeth called from the couch. "Sit down a minute. I'm sorry I didn't really get to spend much time with you this weekend."

"Yeah, I'm totally pissed about that. It's like you were doing something else." Will rolled his eyes.

"I know, but I still wish I had more time. When's your flight?"

"Leaves in an hour."

"You're going to need to get going. Did you already tell Geoffrey bye?"

"Yeah. He's downstairs with the others. They're all leaving shortly too. Maybe another hour or so."

Will stood and Elizabeth got up as well. "Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me." She pulled him into a hug.

"Oh, come on. I wouldn't have missed this. I even put off my trip for 2 days." Will held up 2 fingers for emphasis. "If that doesn't say love, I don't know what does."

Elizabeth smacked his arm. "Just stop talking before you dig a really big hole!"

"But I'm so good at it." Will looked down at his shoes, obviously uncomfortable. "You know I'm not much for showing it, but I do love you Lizzie, and I'm glad you're happy."

Elizabeth grinned at him. "Look at you, going all soft on me. I love you too."

"Now that you're occupied with Henry, maybe you'll stay off my ass!" Will winked at her and laughed. "I'll look forward to your answering machine messages," Will said as he walked out the door.

"Bye."

Henry closed the door. Elizabeth smirked. "He is such a pain in the ass!"

"It appears that every family has those." She nodded in agreement. "Do you want to go downstairs to see everyone else before they go?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. I doubt anyone else would come up besides Geoffrey."

"Do you have any idea what happened to the room key?" he asked, looking over at the table.

"Maybe you pants pocket?" Elizabeth guessed.

Henry went to the end of the bed and picked up his pants, shaking them and heard the telltale jingling of keys. "You are good."

"Why yes I am. Thank you for noticing." She giggled and Henry rolled his eyes.

"Let's go."

They walked into the hotel restaurant hand in hand and found the whole group sitting together. "Hey you guys. I hope you didn't think you were leaving without saying goodbye."

They pulled chairs up to the table and joined in the conversation. Elizabeth was able to hold Gianna for a whole 15 minutes before she started fussing and Henry swooped in calmed her and rocked her to sleep. Elizabeth leaned over to Henry and said, "You know, you are getting night duty when there's a little McCord, right? If only because you are so good at it."

"I'll happily take night duty for as many little McCords as you want to have." He kissed her forehead before resting his against hers.

"There need to be a few so I can have some little people in the house," Geoffrey added.

"Not yet. I need to finish school and there's a deployment to deal with. A lot of things need to happen first. I'd like some time to be a 2 person family before we are a 3 person family."

"Point taken." Geoffrey backed off thinking he may have overstepped.

Elizabeth made it a point to move over to sit with Otto and his wife, since she wasn't able to talk to them at all the previous day. She thanked them for coming and let them know how much their presence meant to her.

The time drew near for them to get to their rooms to get packed up. Henry and Elizabeth said their goodbyes and thanked Geoffrey for all he had done to help with the wedding. Then they went back upstairs with the intention of staying there until Monday morning when they were supposed to report for their yard work projects for Patrick


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: The honeymoon is almost over and I'm looking for ideas things H/E might deal with during deployment. The chapter dealing with birth control is proving difficult to write, so the next few chapters may take a while longer. Research needs to be done! Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 44

The week flew by. Days were spent at the McCord house, helping do small projects. They had worked so fast that they got all of the yard work done in only 2 days, leaving them the rest of the week to help out in other ways. They spent one evening opening gifts and deciding what could stay in Henry's parents' attic and what could go home with them. Another, they took Henry's parents out to eat as a thank you. Of course, Patrick spent the entire meal complaining that they could've had three meals at home for what the one cost at a restaurant. Henry was about to lose his cool, but Elizabeth talked him down off the ledge. "He's your father. Are you expecting someone different?" She shrugged.

Thursday evening, they were curled up on the couch, each reading a book for classes the following week. Well, they had books, but neither were actually reading. They were both tossing thoughts around, trying to figure out how to ask the other their question. Henry looked up at Elizabeth and could tell she was in the same position he was. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was chewing her bottom lip. She was definitely worrying about something.

"Hey, what's going on?" He scooted forward enough to pull her ankles, encouraging her to put her feet in his lap. He started massaging the balls of her feet.

She sighed, "Ever have a question you want to ask, but you aren't sure you want the answer?"

He smirked, "I'm sitting on one of those right now actually. Is the question for me? You can always ask me anything."

"I know I can ask it. That's not really the problem. What if I really don't like the answer?" Elizabeth twisted a piece of her hair around her finger.

"Uh, I can't really help with that until I know what it is. How about if you ask me your question and I ask you mine and we just try to figure it out as best we can?"

"I guess." She paused for a moment. "What's with tracing the cross on my forehead every morning?"

"I ask for St. Monica's intercession as I pray for you. The cross is the Sign Of the Cross at the end of the prayer."

"You pray for me?"

"I've always prayed for you, even before I met you. Well, actually that's not completely true. When I was a teen and I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life, I prayed for my future wife. When I thought I was going to be a priest, I prayed that God would lead me to do His will. Then, when I met you, I started praying for you."

"And St. Monica…"

"She's the patron saint of wives and she's also St. Augustine's mother. Both Augustine and her husband, Patricius, were non believers. She prayed unceasingly for them and eventually they had a change of heart and converted."

"Is that your end game? To convert me?" She pulled her feet off of Henry's lap and sat up straight.

 _Is there any possible way to answer this question without antagonizing the situation?_ Henry sighed. _Not a chance. You should've stopped with the patron saint of wives. Right! Like she wouldn't have looked up the rest and then been more pissed. God, I would appreciate if you lead my words on this. I don't want to push her away from You because of my inability to give a meaningful answer._ In the absence of an answer, Elizabeth stood up and started to walk away. "No, it's not."

She turned around, her eyes boring into him, "Really? I'm not sure I believe that."

"My end game is to love you the way you deserve to be loved. To protect you from every heartbreak because you've already endured so much. To make sure you know how precious you are in my eyes-and God's." Henry stood and took a step toward Elizabeth and she didn't back away, which he considered a good sign. "If at some point along the way, you thought joining the Catholic church was what you wanted to do, I can't say that I wouldn't be ecstatic. That doesn't mean I expect it."

"So what do you expect?" Elizabeth's voice has an edge to it. Henry didn't think she was really looking for a fight, but she certainly was not backing down from one either.

"From you? Probably only that you view us, our love and our marriage, as important enough to always fight for it. I have a hell of a lot more expectations for myself."

She let out the breath she'd been holding. "What do you pray?" she wanted to know.

"It's not the same every time. It kind of goes on what I'm feeling or what's happening." She continued to stare at him. "Ok, it might go something like this. 'Lord, through the intercession of St. Monica , bless Elizabeth today. Keep her safe. Let her feel Your love and know the depth of my love for her. I ask this in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.'"

"And that's all?"

"Well, it changes depending on what's going on. I've asked for calmness in dealing with Maureen and my dad or for you to do well on papers you've struggled with. I've also asked God to help you know my intentions or to communicate better." Henry shrugged. "Stuff like that."

"I find it unsettling." Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably in her spot.

"Why?" he asked. She could tell from his tone that he was genuinely curious and not trying to be argumentative.

"I'm not sure exactly. Maybe it's because my name is attached to something that I'm not sure I'm ready to believe in. It's like you are praying for me because I'm not doing it."

"I'm praying for you because that's one of the things _I_ do. I pray for me. I pray for all the people I love because I want them to have abundant blessings. Here's a question. How is me praying for you different than when you asked me to pray for Brenda? Do you think she wants my prayers? Would she be offended to know that I prayed for her?"

"Probably."

"But does her not wanting them negate her need for them, at least from my standpoint. Or from yours, since you were the one that asked?"

"No," Elizabeth said it defeatedly. She knew where he was going with his argument as soon as he brought up Brenda. And it annoyed her a little that he used logical arguments on feelings. _I know that my feelings aren't always logical. That doesn't mean they aren't valid._ She closed her eyes.

"Hey," Henry pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "It isn't supposed to be a big thing. I'm not doing it with the purpose of making you uncomfortable or upset. I want you to think about it and let me know what would be acceptable to you. I'm not going to stop, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable either."

"Okay. I can do that." Elizabeth placed her hands on Henry's chest. "You are a good man Henry. Better than I deserve."

"No." Henry said it with a little more force than he intended and Elizabeth dropped her head, embarrassed. "Please, no." He placed both hands on her head and tipped it up. "Look at me Elizabeth. You deserve only the very best. You are smart, loving, kind, generous, compassionate, and beautiful. If anything, it is I who need to live up to you. Please never think of yourself as less. If needed, I can remind you every day," he kissed her. "Every hour," Kiss. "Every moment." Kiss.

Henry pulled back to look at her. "Are we good?"

"We're good. I'll think about it later. I'm thinking about other things now." She pulled him back in.

"Oh really? Did you want to go back to your book?"

"No," her hand played with the tiny hairs on the back of his neck.

"Did you want to go downstairs and get a drink?" Henry smiled at her.

"No. I'd rather stay here."

"And do what?"

"We could christen the shower," she said coyly.

"Think we're proficient enough for that?" he grinned.

"We could find out." She took him by the hand and started toward the bathroom.

"Hopefully no one's ego will be damaged."

"I'm hoping we don't end up breaking something!" They laughed and he followed willingly.

 *******RATED M*******

They stepped into the spacious bathroom and Henry reached into the large walk-in shower and turned the water on to heat up. Elizabeth was at his back pulling his t-shirt , up and over his head planting open mouth kisses to his shoulders and back while simultaneously reaching around to unbutton and unzip his jeans. He let them fall and kicked them to the side. Turning around, he looked his wife over. Her eyes were dark with desire, her cheeks, flushed pink, her lips were swollen from kissing his. It was quite the heady sight. "You're entirely too overdressed for this little adventure," he told her.

"You know," Elizabeth said, biting her lip, "you could fix that problem."

"Gladly." Henry reached under the hem of her shirt and grasped it, pulling it over her head. Tossing the shirt, he ran his hands up her sides, pulling her in for a kiss. As his tongue plunged into her mouth, his hands went around unhooking her bra. They both moaned as her breasts fell free, her nipples brushing against Henry's chest. He quickly unbuttoned her jeans and catching the waistband of her panties as well, took them both down her long, lean legs. He pulled them off her ankles and tossed them out of the way.

Sitting back on his heels, he looked up at Elizabeth in awe. She was his everything. He needed her like he needed air. He ran his hands up the back of her calves and started kissing his way up, starting at her knee. He pressed his mouth to her inner thigh, just mere inches from where he wanted to be. She smelled intoxicating and he was literally salivating at the thought of putting his mouth on her. Elizabeth stepped back and offered him her hands. "Let's get in," she said. He wanted to protest, but knew it wasn't the right time. He took her hand and followed her into the shower.

Elizabeth stepped into the stream of water. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back, letting the water run down her face as she ran her hands through her hair. Henry stared at her, mesmerized.

"Creepy staring," she laughed. He smiled back and took her into his arms. Lowering his head, he kissed her hard. Elizabeth's hands slipped around to Henry's ass pulling him into her, his erection pushing into her stomach

Putting his hands on her waist, he turned them, so her back was to the shower wall. She threaded her arms around his neck, kissing his chest. "Ready to test out our proficiency level?" Henry said grinning against her forehead.

She nodded, "Oh, I'm ready."

Henry grabbed the back of her thighs and hoisted her up pushing her back against the shower wall. The cold tiles felt like ice on her overheated body causing her to cry out, adding another layer to her already aroused state. "Fuck Henry!" His hardness was pushed against her clit and she thought she might come right there. Locking her legs around his waist, she left just enough room to slip her hand between them to pump him a few times. Henry grunted and pushed in as she relaxed and he filled her completely. She moaned loudly. It was a feeling she didn't think would ever get old, her slick folds wrapped around his dick, stretching her just to the brink of pain, where her pleasure was the greatest.

Henry pinned her to the wall so she couldn't move. He started a slow rhythm, but she was well past that point. "Harder," she cried, and he pulled almost all the way out and slammed into her. She shrieked. He took a nipple in his mouth and swirled his tongue around before lightly biting her and he slammed into her again. He repeated this on her other breast. Elizabeth was writhing beneath him as he hit her spot with every thrust. He was dizzy but focused solely on pleasing her.

He could tell she was close. "Come for me baby," he whispered in her ear. He pressed her hard to the wall so she could barely draw a breath. He let go of her leg so he could rub her clit. She came hard, her muscles squeezing him rhythmically, causing him to peak as well spilling into her. They stayed connected, gasping, pressed against the shower wall, water raining down on them. "Think you can stand?" he asked.

"Give me a minute," she said.

He chuckled, "I've got you." She dropped her legs and let Henry hold her around the waist until she was sure she was steady.

 *******END OF M RATED SECTION*******

"How about we shower?" she asked, but he was already grabbing the shampoo. He washed and conditioned her hair and she did the same for him. They lathered each other and rinsed off, never breaking contact. They finished just as the water turned cold.

"Perfect timing," he said, shutting the water off and quickly grabbing a towel to wrap Elizabeth in. He dried her off and she wrapped the towel around herself and headed out of the bathroom. "Don't bother with clothes. You won't need them," he called out to her. Hearing her giggle, he quickly dried off and met her in the bed.

They snuggled down under the covers and held each other. "I think we passed the proficiency test. Mission accomplished with no mishaps or injuries"

Elizabeth laughed, "I guess I wasn't giving you enough credit. Well done!"

"Hey, do I get to ask my question yet?" Henry wanted to know.

"Oh yeah, I kind of got sidetracked," she smirked. "Funny how that happened! What do you want to know?"

"Why do you deflect every time I try to go down on you?"

"Because I don't want you to do that." Elizabeth said flatly.

"Can I ask why?" Elizabeth dropped her eyes and knitted her brow.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Henry was disappointed that he didn't really get an answer, but he had already learned that planting the seed was enough to get Elizabeth to think about something. She'd bring it up later when she was ready to talk. "Okay. Just know that I am available. Well, for either talking about it or doing it. I'm always up for anything that would make you feel good. I just want to make you feel good." He kissed the top of her head and tucked her into his chest.

Henry had drifted off and was just about in a deep sleep, when Elizabeth rolled over to face him. "Henry, are you awake?"

"Yeah, babe. Maybe. What's going on?" he rubbed his eyes.

"The cross thing. Don't do it. I think it's weird. And the mumbling under your breath. Skip that part too."

"Got it babe. No cross, nothing out loud. Can I kiss you when I am done?"

"That, you can always do!" He leaned in and pecked her on the lips.

"Ok Are we good?" Henry's voice still laced with drowsiness.

"Well, there's one other thing."

"What's that?"

"I think I just talked myself into being okay with the other thing."

That got Henry's attention and he was more awake now. "What?" He looked over at the clock on the nightstand. "An hour ago, you were adamantly opposed. Don't do something you don't want to just because I do."

"That's not it Henry. I've just been laying here thinking that I'm letting some stupid asshole's comments from 4 years ago shape my thoughts about myself and who I should or shouldn't be. I need to let that go. I'm giving his opinion way more value than it ever deserved."

"I can't say that I don't agree with that sentiment. But, I hope that that my opinion on it isn't weighing in on your decision."

"If you are saying that I made up my mind because of what you want, then no. I think it does sometimes help, only in that if we have the same opinion, it gives me extra confidence in mine. And I'm not just talking about this particular situation, I'm talking about everything. You always have solid reasons for your beliefs, so that does make me take your opinion into careful consideration."

"I just don't ever want to get in a situation where you just go along because it will make me happy. I want us to be our own people, meaning that sometimes we will disagree and that's ok."

"I won't do that. She ran her hand across his cheek. "But, you are a man with a strong moral compass, so most of the time I will follow your lead because you are on the side of right." She kissed his forehead, eyelids, and cheeks before settling on his mouth humming her pleasure.

"Just when I think it is impossible to love you more, I find that I do. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Elizabeth McCord."


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: Thank you for the kind words. They are much appreciated.

I always like to be a chapter or two ahead so that I can see where things are going and maybe make adjustments to the previous chapter(s) if needed. Right now, 46 still isn't done and it's a complete mess. Not wanting to keep you waiting too long, I'm going ahead and post this one. The next couple will be slow coming. I'm currently waiting on a 1984 copy of a Natural Family Planning book to arrive at my library since I have no earthly idea what all that entails. If it doesn't come soon, I may put a short filler chapter in and come back and revise it later. We'll see. Thanks so much for the deployment ideas I think I've found a few to use and build on what I was already thinking.

Chapter 45

Friday morning. Elizabeth groaned and rolled over to get up. Henry snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her back to him. "No, not yet," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"I have to pee. Be right back. I promise." She pushed him back.

"You better," he muttered sleepily.

A minute later she was crawling back into bed. She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a devilish grin, not that he noticed through his still closed eyes. She snuggled closer and ran her foot up his leg. "Crap! Your feet are like ice." Henry's eyes were open now and all he saw was his wife giggling uncontrollably. "You're going to pay for that!" He rolled over and pinned her to the mattress.

"You promise?" she asked in a low, sultry voice.

"Guaranteed," he murmured bending down to suck the tender flesh on her neck.

Henry methodically worked his way down her body: her collarbone, her breasts, her stomach, her hips. The sounds that fell from her lips were heavenly and her breathy pants aroused him to no end.

He crawled back up her body to ravish her lips before he asked the question, "May I?" Her eyes met his and she trusted him completely. She nodded and he kissed her, gently at first, but then she deepened the kiss conveying her anticipation at what was about to happen.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, "I've been dreaming about this for a very long time," he said. The seriousness in his voice sent a shiver up her spine.

He sat back and thought about his next move. "Henry," she begged, "I need you." He climbed off of her and got out of bed leaving her dismayed. "What are-" she started, but was cut short he grasped her behind her knees and whipped her around so that she lay across their bed. He pulled her toward him and dropped to his knees on the floor at the edge of the bed. Elizabeth giggled nervously.

He brought his hands up the back of her thighs and around giving him the option of kneading her breast or pinning her hips down. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, figuring he'd decide along the way. His broad shoulders pushed her legs apart and his hot breath on her center caused her to gasp and squirm. Opting for holding her hips down, he could barely contain himself. "Oh babe, you are so wet!"

"Uhh-huh," came the strangled response. He peppered her inner thighs with kisses getting her used to the feeling, her moans of pleasure spurring him on. Using his thumbs, he parted her folds and ran his tongue from her opening to her clit. She screamed at the sensation. Focusing his efforts on her clit, he swirled his tongue and sucked gently. The stubble on his chin was driving her wild. She writhed beneath him unable to give words to the waves of pleasure, only guttural moans. The pressure was building and his tongue was all over her. Her mind was unable to put together a cohesive thought other than it felt so good. He slipped his tongue inside her and she felt herself slipping. "So close," she panted. He returned his attention to her clit as he pushed two fingers inside her and she immediately started convulsing. He kept his mouth on her stretching out her orgasm. Pulling away as she came down from her high, he kissed his way back up her body and when he found her mouth, he plunged his tongue in tangling with hers in a heated battle. "Need you now," she whimpered.

She didn't need to say it twice. Pulling back from her, he placed her legs over his shoulders and braced himself against the edge of the bed before pushing into to her. The both cried out as they became fully joined. He set a fast rhythm looking for release. She, still not fully over her previous orgasm escalated quickly. They both came hard and fast, their names falling from each other's lips, Henry going rigid and spilling into her while she shuddered beneath him.

He pulled out of her and crawled onto the bed. Heny threaded his arm beneath Elizabeth's back and hauled her across the bed so they could lay together without their legs hanging off the edge. She laughed and curled into him. He smirked, "Are you implying that my move lacked finesse?"

"Finesse wasn't the word I would have chosen, but if that's how you want to frame it,." She kissed him gently. "Thank you for nudging me out of my comfort zone. That was incredible. You are incredible."

"So, I did an okay job?" Henry had been a little unsure of his skill level, and her affirmation was needed.

"Well, I don't have much experience to draw from, but you did an okay job. Actually, it was better than ok, more like mind blowing!"

Henry couldn't hide his smile. "Anything to please you babe!" They cuddled for a while longer before he rolled over and looked at the clock. Check out is at 11. We should probably get ready and pack."

Elizabeth gave a loud groan, but rolled out of bed. "I'll shower first," she said.

"How about I join you? Last time we'll have a big shower for a while," he said, arching his eyebrows. She nodded toward the bathroom and Henry scrambled out of bed to follow her.

Clothes were packed. The room was picked up and they were getting ready to leave. "Oh Henry, my makeup case is on the vanity in the bathroom. Could you grab it for me?"

"Sure babe." Henry stepped into the bathroom and reached out to grab it, but he bumped it and the contents dumped into the sink. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath setting the items he was already carrying down so he could put everything back into Elizabeth's case. He began replacing items when he picked up a white plastic case. His heart sank, already knowing what it was, but he felt the need to open it anyway. Popping the plastic clasp, he opened the case finding the foil disc of birth control pills-13 days worth already popped out.

 _She's doing exactly what you told her to do. You absolutely don't get to be upset by this. I know I don't. It's not like you were unaware that Elizabeth went to the doctor a couple months ago. And it's not like you didn't know why she went._ He sighed. _God, forgive me._

"Henry, what's taking so lo-" Elizabeth stopped in the doorway and saw Henry's reflection in the mirror. "Oh. What are you doing?" she asked, a small hint of accusation in her voice, although she tried hard not to.

"I accidentally knocked your case over and I was just putting everything back in," he dropped the pills inside and picked up the remaining items in as well.

"Here you go," he said, handing it to her and he walked past her out of the bathroom.

"Wait! Are you angry?" Elizabeth was leaning in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yes. No. Not at you, Wait." Henry took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair as he exhaled. He sat down at the desk. "Okay. I am absolutely not mad at you. I feel guilty and sad and that's frustrating."

Elizabeth took a step toward Henry. "I can't Henry. Not right now. Not when I'm still in school and you'll be leaving soon. I'm not strong enough to do it in my own"

"I get why you feel the way you do. I do. Truthfully, it wouldn't be fair to you. I get that. It just doesn't make me feel okay about it. It was a whole lot easier to be fine with saying it was up to you when it was a non-issue." She frowned. "When we talked about it, I was looking at the whole situation from a sin standpoint. The Catholic Church considers preventing pregnancy a sin, so as long as I don't condone it, I'm free and clear."

"Okay, so what's different now?" She was trying to understand and not go on the defensive.

"Well because now it's not just about the technicality using birth control being a sin. Before, it was all theoretical. Now, it's about you being my wife and the deep emotional and physical connection we have when we make love and knowing that the ultimate product of that love could be a baby." Henry looked into Elizabeth's eyes to make sure she was still following him.. "Knowing that we are purposely circumventing that makes me feel like I'm using you as an object for my personal pleasure." He sighed. "And that makes me ill."

Elizabeth took the couple of steps and sat on the end of the bed and looked at him. "I doubt that it helps, but I don't feel objectified."

"Well, right now you don't, but I'm wondering if at some point that would change. But this still brings me back to the fact that this is something that I'm going to have to reconcile for myself."

Elizabeth flopped back on the bed and groaned, staring at the ceiling. A minute later, she propped herself up on her elbows and asked, "So, what are the options for a young couple who aren't ready for kids, but want to adhere to Catholic teaching?" Henry looked at her and smiled. "So help me God, Henry McCord, if you say count days and pray I'm going to come over there and smack you!"

Henry laughed, but then he was serious. "You would really consider dropping the pill to do something else that would follow Catholic teaching?"

"Henry, if you can figure out something that works for you and is reliable enough for me, I'm willing. But, until that time, I'm not going off the pill. The thought of your deployment scares the hell out of me as it is. If I were pregnant or we had a baby and you were gone. I'm really not sure I could do it."

Henry crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Elizabeth. "Well, babe, I'm here to tell you that you could and you would if you had to, but I don't want you to have to anymore than you do. I know there is something, but I don't know anything about it. I'll find out though." His eyes bored into hers. "I want you to know how much I love you and how thankful I am that you are willing to help me be true to my faith. Your sacrifice is not lost on me." He bent down, cupping her head in his hard hand. Pulling it closer, he pressed his head to hers and then captured her lips in his.

After a few minutes, they went ahead, gathering their things, they headed out of the honeymoon suite, onto the rest of their lives together.


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: I'd like to say that time made this chapter better, but not so much. It's all over the place. Sorry about the slow updates. I'm currently about 3/4 of the way through the natural family planning manual. To say it's a lot to process is an understatement of epic proportion. Hopefully I'll get that done in the next few days and write that chapter. Henry going active duty and leaving is also coming up. Thanks for the kind reviews and hopefully this chapter will tide you over. Blessings!

Chapter 46

It took them each 4 trips to drag all of their stuff into their apartment. "We are going to have to seriously downsize some stuff," Henry said. "There won't be room for us."

"I think it just means we'll have to be closer to each other," she said, grinning and pecking him on the cheek.

"Well I could get behind that, but I still don't want to have to climb over things to get to the door."

"Before we do too much else, we have to go to the store and pick up some food. There is literally nothing in the fridge and we need to eat," Elizabeth said, opening a few kitchen cabinets to show Henry that there really was nothing to eat. "You know how I get when I'm not fed."

"We definitely don't want that," Henry said in mock angst. Shall we go together or do you want me to just run out?"

"Let's go together. It'll will be out first married couple outing." she giggled as he rolled his eyes.

Walking up and down the aisles of the local grocery store, Henry and Elizabeth quickly discovered that they had much different shopping styles. Henry was all about ingredients to make things and Elizabeth was big on packages she could open and eat immediately.

Henry looked at their cart and laughed, "Okay, we really need a better system. We're going to spend over $100 and we still don't really have anything to eat." Elizabeth agreed, and conceded that planning ahead and cooking definitely were not her thing. Instead they agreed to get something for dinner and breakfast and lunch for Saturday. Then Saturday afternoon, they would actually make a list and go to the store with an idea of what they needed to buy.

By picking up a couple frozen cheese pizzas, and head of lettuce for a salad, that took care of dinner. Eggs, milk, sandwich fixings, and chips rounded out the must have items. They paid and headed home. Elizabeth put the groceries in the fridge and turned on the oven to preheat so they could bake the pizza.

An hour later, Henry and Elizabeth had pulled out all of the old small kitchen appliances and replaced them with the gifts they had received. New towels were put in the linen closet, swapping out a few really old ones. Henry had hung a few pictures they had received.

Elizabeth had put the pizza in the oven and made Henry promise to watch the clock because she always got distracted and burned dinner. Henry was hanging he pictures and lost track of time. The pizza was almost too done, but edible. Elizabeth cut up lettuce for the salad and, once they fixed their plates, they sat together on the couch, eating in silence.

"It's coming together," Elizabeth commented, setting her plate on the coffee table. Henry looked at her quizzically. "The unpacking. Except we never did get a bigger bookcase." Henry nodded and glanced back over his shoulder taking in the small three shelf bookcase with just as many books stacked on top of it and on the floor as were actually on the shelves.

"Yeah, do you want to do that tomorrow? We have quite a bit of cash from the wedding. That would be a useful way to spend some of it.

"I think that's a good idea. Maybe tomorrow before grocery shopping?"

"That sounds good. Should I go to Mass tomorrow night or Sunday morning? I'd lean toward tomorrow night, but the Easter Vigil Mass is the longest of the year. Easter Sunday is just a regular Mass as far as length, but with a lot more joyful music."

"I will say music during Lent isn't very appealing. Why is the vigil Mass so long?"

"A few different things. Blessing of the new Paschal candle, and lighting all of the candles, and reception of new people joining the church. It can take two or three hours depending on the number of people coming in. It's actually my favorite Mass, but it is long."

"If it's your favorite, we can go tomorrow night."

"Are you sure? You'd go just because it's my favorite?"

"Well, that and you know I'm a sucker for the candles in church."

Henry leaned over and pressed his head to hers and was silent for a few moments. Then he kissed her temple. Elizabeth melted into his side and looked up at him. "Praying?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he answered quietly.

"What about?"

"You."

Elizabeth blushed. "What about me?"

"Just thanking God for you." Henry deposited his empty plate on the table next to hers and took her in his arms. "I am in awe of how blessed I am to have you in my life," he whispered. He kissed her softly, trying to capture that feeling of completeness and store it in his heart.

She pulled back from him. "I still contend that I am the one who is blessed." Placing her head back on Henry's chest, she listened to his heartbeat and traced tiny circles on his chest. Tilting her head back, Henry automatically bent down and kissed her. "Henry," his eyes met hers. "Make love to me." Henry shifted to change positions, but she held his gaze. "Not the adventurous, fast and furious love making. I want the slow, soul filling love making that lasts all night."

Henry stood and offered Elizabeth his hand. Pulling her from the couch, he swept her up in his arms and carried her off to their bedroom.

In the wee hours of the morning, Henry and Elizabeth lay together in a tangled mess of limbs whispering sweet nothings to each other before finally drifting off, chasing dreams which mimicked real life.

Having been up most of the night, the newlyweds slept in on Saturday, not waking until nearly 11. Henry woke to daylight streaming in the window. He glanced over at the clock 10:39. He smirked to himself. Looking down, Elizabeth was curled up at his side, head on his shoulder, arm draped across his chest. He was having trouble identifying the position of theior lower limbs. He lost feeling of his left leg about mid thigh, but he assumed that it was still there somewhere.

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Henry prayed. _Lord in heaven, through the intercession of St. Monica, I pray for Elizabeth. May she always know how cherished she is and how much I love her. Be with her and bless her as she returns to classes and we both navigate married life. Help me to find out information that will be workable so that she can quit taking the pill, and help us make a decent grocery list that doesn't entail us eating Twinkies every day. Thank you for the many blessings we have received. In Jesus's name, Amen._ Henry placed another kiss on top of her head and attempted to shift a bit to regain feeling in his leg.

Henry moving stirred Elizabeth and she woke. "Mornin,;" she said sleepily.

"Yes it has been," Henry teased, rubbing her bare back.

"We could continue to make it a good morning," she suggested.

"That we could, but that depends on what you want to get accomplished today outside of this bed. It's almost 11." Henry informed her.

"What? Really? Wow! I guess we'll have to take this up later then." She started to get up. "Henry, I have a slight problem. I can't feel my right leg."

"What exactly is going on down there? I can't feel my left leg. Elizabeth flipped the covers back and surveyed the situation.

"Ok, somehow I fell asleep with my legs wrapped around yours." She rolled back away from Henry and said, "Now, you roll that way," and she pushed Henry the opposite direction. Pulling herself to a sitting position, she said, "All untangled. Now we just have to wait for our legs to wake up so we can walk." Elizabeth Henry rolled back to her and started tickling her ribs. "Wait! Stop! I have to go to the bathroom."

"You can't walk."

"Yes, but if you keep tickling me, I'll wet the bed." Henry pulled his hands back.

"Point taken, maybe there are other things we can do while we wait." Henry murmured, kissing her shoulder. It was only about 5 seconds later that Henry threw himself back on the bed, "Damn!"

"What?"

"Pins and needles! All the way down my leg. Crap, that is annoying!' Every time I move!"

Elizabeth knew she shouldn't laugh, and she tried not to, but she just couldn't hold it in. She fell on his chest cackling. She attempted to save it, "Is- is there anyth- anything - I can do?" Her bladder was unimpressed with this display of uncontrolled laughter

"Stop shaking the bed. You're making it worse."

"I have to pee!" Elizabeth continued to laugh.

Henry started to laugh. "Do not pee in this bed-get up!"

"I can't. Oh God, pins and needles in my foot. It hurts!" she cried out.

"I know and I think you were just making fun of me." Henry smirked at her.

"Sorry 'bout that," she giggled and then winced.

"Just give it a minute. It gets better." Henry sat up and spun around in the bed taking Elizabeth's foot and massaging it.

"Aaaaaaa! That hurts."

"Give it a minute." He continued to massage her foot.

Elizabeth squinted her eyes, "It's a little better." Henry continued to work on her. "Okay, I think I can walk now." She crawled off the end of the bed and hobbled off to use the bathroom. Returning, she found Henry still sitting where she'd left him. She crawled up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you and I'm sorry I laughed."

"It was funny and you're welcome!" Henry tipped his head back so he could kiss her cheek. "We need to be more careful in the future though. That was sort of painful."

"She giggled. I think our proficiency level might have dropped a few points."

"I think that level is just fine. We just need to be more aware after the fact." Henry grinned at her. "We seriously need to get going. How about you shower while I fix-uh, would you rather have breakfast or lunch?"

"Lunch, and I'll try really had to think of things we can eat for the grocery list."

Twenty minutes later, Elizabeth emerged dressed for going out. "I'm adding grilled cheese, spaghetti, and maybe roasted chicken with potatoes and carrots for tomorrow?" She sat down at the table with her sandwich and chips. Henry joined her.

"Sounds good. I thought about chili, nachos, and chicken and rice. Is eating leftovers ok for lunch?"

"Leftovers are great. Plus we could get peanut butter and jelly and cereal if we run short, or if I am forced to feed myself."

Henry laughed, "Absolutely! Maybe I'll make muffins tomorrow to eat for breakfast this week."

"I'll help in any way I can." She cocked her head to the side. "Okay, maybe I'll provide moral support!" Elizabeth winked at him.

Due to their late start, Henry and Elizabeth left to go shopping soon after lunch. They hit a couple of antique stores looking for a bookcase, but ended up at a local furniture store and found just what they were looking for. The owner even agreed to drop it off at their apartment on his way home that evening.

They dashed to the grocery store and had a much smoother trip this time, armed with a list and only a handful of extras were thrown in the cart. "Someone forgot to put ice cream on the list," Elizabeth said as she tossed two half-gallon boxes in.

"Obviously," Henry rolled his eyes, but grinned at her. "And we need two?"

"Variety, dear sir. We don't want to get burned out on any one kind," Elizabeth said very seriously. Once they checked out, they headed straight home so they could move the books to have room for their new bookcase.

The groceries were put away and dinner was cooking by the time the man arrived with the bookcase. He and Henry were able to get it upstairs with relative ease and place it in its new home. "Perfect!" Elizabeth exclaimed. After thanking the man for generously delivering the bookcase, they sat down to eat dinner.

"This is so good," Elizabeth murmured as she twirled her spaghetti on her fork. "Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"It is my pleasure and I'm glad you like it." Henry reached across their small table and intertwined his fingers in hers. He leaned forward and kissed the back of her hand. "I'm going to get ready for Mass. Don't worry about the dishes. We can take care of them tomorrow." He headed to their bedroom while Elizabeth finished the last few bites. Standing and gathering their plates, she decided to go ahead and wash them quickly, thinking they would be a lot easier to clean now than tomorrow.

It only took her a few minutes to clean most everything. She left the bigger pot full of soapy water to soak and wiped down the kitchen. When she heard him open the bathroom door, she went to take her turn in the shower. Stepping into the bedroom, she went to the dresser to get her clothes laid out. Glancing up, she saw Henry standing at the sink shaving, towel slung low around his hips and she smiled. While it had only been a few months since she caught this same view of him for the first time, it seemed like a lifetime ago. A grin plastered across her face, she put her things on the bed and undressed, tossing her clothes in the laundry basket on the closet floor. She put her robe on and slipped into the bathroom behind Henry.

"Hey there, sexy," she flirted as she patted his butt on the way by. He smirked at her, but continued shaving. She stepped into the shower and when he was finished, he stepped into the bedroom to get ready. As Henry dressed, he shook his head and smiled to himself. Already they had this sort of choreographed dance that played out as they got ready. They had sort of had it before last week, but they always took extra precaution to minimize being around each other unless fully clothed. That meant mostly staying out of each other's way until both were showered and dressed, then they could share the bathroom. Now it didn't matter, and he like the comfort in just being together always..

They traded spots again as she went into the bedroom to change and Henry brushed his teeth and combed his hair. She put on a turquoise shirt dress. When Henry left the bathroom, she stepped in to blow her hair dry and apply her makeup. Satisfied with her look, she stepped out picking her white blazer up off the end of the bed and stepped into her white heels.

Elizabeth leaned in the doorway of the bedroom looking out to Henry sitting on the couch in the living room. He was relaxed, laid back, with his foot resting on his knee, book in hand. His glasses were perched on the end of his nose. Back slacks, white button down oxford shirt and a turquoise striped tie. _How does he do that with the matching tie?_ She took a couple of steps toward him, her heels clicking on the floor.

Henry looked up, entranced by his wife. "Hey," he said, goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Hey yourself. You look very handsome." Elizabeth held out her hand to him expecting to pull him up, but he tugged on her, pulling her into his lap.

"You are gorgeous and it's taking all of my willpower not to pounce on you right now."

"You should probably pray about that," she quipped. "Come on, we're going to be late."

As they walked in, they passed a fire pit set up at the bottom of the steps in front of the church. "Are we having s'mores after Mass?" she asked, only partly joking.

Henry chuckled, "At the beginning of Mass, they build a fire, bless it and use the fire to light the new Paschal candle. Then that candle is the one that is used all year in Baptisms, funerals and any other special times."

"Hmm, what's the Paschal candle?"

"It's the big tall one. I don't know if you've noticed it before or not."

"Why is it so dark in here?" Elizabeth asked as they walked into the nave." There were no lights on, only the dim glow of the outside light that filtered in through the stained glass windows and skylights above.

"It's symbolic of darkness. Darkness that was eliminated by the light of Christ." Henry handed Elizabeth a small candle and a paper disc. She looked at him, confused. "It's for later. Slip the paper over the candle. It catches the wax as it melts." She nodded.

Elizabeth started to turn to go up a side aisle and Henry placed his hand on her shoulder. "Are you ok sitting in the center? You'll be able to see better." She gave him an odd look and shrugged. He led the way up the aisle and genuflected about half way up. Going into the pew first allowed Elizabeth to be on the outside, allowing her to see up and down the aisle.

When it was completely dark in the church, there was a call to rise. From her spot, she was able to see the fire being lit outside. The prayers came over the loudspeaker. The candle was lit and carried the head of the procession. In the back, more prayers were said as the candle was blessed, followed by incense. Elizabeth was fascinated.

The procession made its way up the aisle stopping every few pews where the candle was lowered so the person on the end could light their small candle. They, in turn, turned to those next to them and lit theirs. Elizabeth watched in awe as a wave of light made its way through the church. Stopping in front of her, Elizabeth reached out and lit her candle, then turned to Henry and held it out as he lit his, then also to the people in front and behind her. In a matter of minutes, the church went from being completely dark to having a soft glow. The opening hymn was sung, candles were extinguished and Mass proceeded as usual.

After the third or fourth reading, Elizabeth eyed Henry. She smirked, because he was intently focused on the lector. When he didn't notice her, she poked him in the leg. Pulled from his trance, he looked at her. "How many are there?" she mouthed to him. He gave her a slight smile and put his hands in his lap and displayed nine fingers. Elizabeth's eyes went wide, "Really?" she whispered. He nodded, handed her the missalette and went back to listening.

With nothing else to occupy her time. She flipped through the missalette and found the Easter Vigil readings. She started at the beginning and found that the readings essentially covered salvation history, starting with Creation and ending with the Resurrection. _That is sort of cool, but this would be easier to engage in if it weren't 9 o'clock at night._ Elizabeth was pulled from her thoughts by everyone standing around her and she stood, listening to the Gospel that she just read in the missalette.

There was a short homily. Henry had his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her hand in his. This was Elizabeth's favorite part of Mass, not because of any deep connection to anything the priest was saying. It was because of the peace and warmth she felt knowing that even while Henry was completely transfixed by whatever the priest was saying, he was still present with her, providing her comfort and love. She squeezed his hand and he looked over, smiled and pulled her in a little closer.

Several people were called forward and were Baptized. She had been curious how that was going to work. All of the churches she had been to when she was young, had big tanks that would be filled with water for baptisms. She didn't know where it would be in a Catholic church. It turned out to be a sort of elaborate birdbath looking thing with a statue of a guy on top that could be removed. Henry had smirked and rolled his eyes at her description and told her it was called a baptismal font and the guy was John the Baptist, which made sense.

Elizabeth had trouble following all of what the priest was saying, but there were responses from the congregation affirming the Faith and then responses from those being Baptized and their sponsors, prayers where an oil was used and water was poured on their heads. She did note that an effort was made to mostly hit their foreheads so hairdos weren't destroyed. Elizabeth didn't consider herself particularly vain, but the thought of having her head dunked in water in front of a large crowd and then just hanging out afterward, made her cringe.

After, the same group remained standing and were joined by ten others. Elizabeth side-eyed Henry. "Confirmation," he said. She nodded, having heard the term before, but not really having an understanding of what it meant. Hearing the same blessing twelve times Elizabeth gathered that it was about receiving the Holy Spirit and also noticed that everyone took the name of a saint.

"What's your saint name?" she whispered to Henry.

"St. John Vianney," he replied. "Patron saint of priests." He grinned at her.

"That did you a lot of good," she smirked.

He shrugged, "I'd like to think so," he said.

Mass went on as usual after Confirmation. Elizabeth was in agreement with Henry, the music was very joyful and the choir was good. It was almost 11 by the time Mass was over. Both Henry and Elizabeth were exhausted and glad the church was only a few blocks from their apartment. They went straight to the bedroom when they walked in, shedding their dress clothes and exchanging them for t-shirts and pajama pants before crawling into bed. Henry opened his arms so Elizabeth could snuggle into him and when she did, they fell asleep immediately.


	47. Chapter 47

A/N: Woo hoo! It's a new chapter! I'll apologize up front from the smut section. I'm blaming it on the lack of any decent H/E scenes in the show as of late. Anyway, M section is marked, skip over that if it's not your thing.

Chapter 47

Elizabeth was standing in the kitchen spreading peanut butter on bread for a PB&J when Henry walked through the door. "Hey there," she welcomed him.

"Hi! I got us some reading material. Henry tossed a book on the coffee table and rounded the bar to wrap his arms around his wife, kissing her cheek. "How was class?"

"Fine," she squirmed to turn and face him. "What about you? How's your day been?"

"Great actually, Class let out early and I had time to stop by the rectory and ask about alternatives to the pill. The secretary recommended a book and said that they offer classes we can take to help us implement the program in the book if it's right for us."

Elizabeth nodded toward the coffee table. "Is that it?" she asked.

"I stopped by the bookstore on the way home and picked it up."

Elizabeth pulled away from Henry and sat, with her plate, at the end of the bar, and took a bite of her sandwich. "I have class this afternoon and I have to spend some time at the library researching a paper, but what if we start reading it together tonight after dinner?"

"That sounds good. I'm done for the day, so I'll make dinner. What time will you be back?"

"Is 6 okay? I'm sure I can be done with my research by then. I'm hoping it will be earlier than that though."

"Perfect. Dinner at 6:30, just in case you run late." Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at him. "What? You've never been known to lose track of time in the library?"

"Touché." Elizabeth leaned over and pecked Henry on the cheek. Glancing up at the clock, she grimaced, "Ugh! Time slipped away. I need to go or I'm going to be late." She hopped off the barstool and gave Henry a proper kiss goodbye. "I'll see you tonight for dinner and a rousing chapter of…" picking up the book, she read "The Art of Natural Family Planning." Dropping the book back on the table, she blew him a kiss and was out the door.

Several hours later, the two sat nestled together on the couch, Elizabeth sitting between Henry's legs laying back on his chest, reading The Art of Natural Family Planning. Elizabeth, being a very fast reader, had been jotting down questions or things she wanted to look up on a small notepad.

Coming upon a section close to the end the first chapter, she tensed up. "What?" Henry asked.

Elizabeth rolled off the couch and went into the bedroom, leaving Henry confused. She walked straight into the bathroom and pulled open her drawer in the vanity and found next month's box of unopened birth control pills. Ripping the box open, she fished out the information brochure that was folded up impossibly small so as to fit in the box. Leaning against the doorframe, she skimmed the small print. Henry joined her, "What's going on?"

"Just looking for something," she said dismissively as she continued to read. Flipping the paper over, Elizabeth found it. "Dammit," she said, hitting the doorframe with her palm letting the leaflet floating to the floor. Henry could see the distress in her eyes.

"Tell me," Henry pleaded.

"I can't. Not right now." Elizabeth's breaths were shallow. "I need air." She took a step and then turned to Henry, tears welling up in her eyes. "And I need space." She placed her hand on his chest holding him at arm's length. "Okay?" Henry nodded, not knowing what else he could do. Elizabeth turned and walked out of the bedroom, grabbing her sweatshirt off the chair and headed out the door.

Picking the paper up off the floor, Henry went back out to the living room and picked up the book. He obviously hadn't made it as far as Elizabeth, so he picked up where he left off. Half a page ahead, he got to the section marked, "birth control pills." Reading the section, he had a good idea what Elizabeth had been looking for. He turned his attention to the leaflet and within seconds knew exactly what was wrong.

Grabbing his jacket and hers, he headed out of the apartment. Seeing her car in the parking space made him feel better. At least she wasn't driving. He started walking in the direction of the park, hoping to find her sitting on their park bench. Having no luck, he circled back around catching some of their favorite places to hang out. Nothing. Henry went back to the apartment hoping he'd just missed her. The apartment was empty. It was going on an hour and Henry was getting worried..

Jotting a quick note, he left it on the coffee table and headed out, knowing where he had to go.

Henry quietly pushed the door to the Adoration Chapel open. He blessed himself and looked up to find an open spot to pray. He was stunned to find Elizabeth in the back pew, silent tears streaming down her face. Slipping into pew, he sat down next to her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close and placed a kiss on her temple. "Ready to talk about it?" he whispered in her ear. She shook her head. "Please stay," he locked eyes with her. She blinked and he knew she would.

Kneeling, his thoughts were all over the place. _Lord, please forgive us. We didn't know, but our ignorance doesn't change the damage we may have done. Please allow us to have peace and show us a way to do better. Amen._

Sitting back, he looked at Elizabeth, "Is it okay to go?"

"Yeah," she sniffed. "We should light a candle before we leave." Agreeing, Henry led her out into the nave, across to the votive candles. Elizabeth lit one and leaned into Henry. He bowed his head and prayed, and they walked out of the church hand in hand.

Once outside, Elizabeth turned to Henry, suddenly desperate to explain. "I swear, I asked all of the questions when I went to the doctor in January. She prescribed a birth control pill that she said stopped ovulation, but within a few days of starting it, I had a reaction to it and when I called, the nurse just said she would prescribe something else. She told me it was progesterone based. I didn't think anything about it what that might mean. I just picked up the prescription. I didn't know that I would still ovulate and the egg could be fertilized, just not able to implant." The more she talked, the more distraught Elizabeth got.

"Shh, it's okay. I know you didn't know. In my own arrogance, didn't even give thought to _how_ birth control worked." Henry pulled Elizabeth to him and hugged her tight.

Elizabeth pushed him back and looked him in the eye. "No, it's not okay. Do you understand what this means? I ovulated the day before the wedding. It's highly likely that I'm walking around right now with a baby, our baby, floating around in me, waiting to die, if that hasn't happened already. That happened because I was careless." She turned away from Henry and buried her face in her hands. "I know how much I hate myself right now.. I can't even imagine how much you hate me."

"Wait," confusion spread across Henry's features. "What? No," He turned Elizabeth back to face him. "Look at me." When she didn't look up, he gently placed his hands on both sides of her head, "Please, babe, I want you to look at me. You need to see me." When she brought her head up slightly, he tipped it the rest of the way and met her gaze. "Understand this. I could _never_ hate you. There is nothing that you could do that would make me hate you. I love you with my whole being. What happened, or may have happened, was a mistake made unknowingly. If anything, I'm angry at myself for dumping this on you. It should have been something we worked out together and I was selfish for making you totally responsible. That was incredibly unfair of me." Henry

pressed his forehead to Elizabeth's. "Will you forgive me?"

"Yes," she mumbled, hoarse from crying. "And you, do you forgive me?"

"Absolutely," he said, pulling her into a tight hug, "Let's go home." They walked in silence, clinging to each other. After a while, Henry spoke, "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmmm?" Elizabeth looked up at him.

"How did you end up in the Adoration Chapel?"

"Oh," Elizabeth dropped her eyes, "Should I not have done that?"

"Gosh no, that's not what I meant at all. Of course you could go. It's just-I was just surprised to find you there."

"I didn't start out with the intention to go there, I just happened to walk by and felt a real need to tell God I was sorry." She stopped speaking and they walked slowly in silence. It was quite a while before she spoke again. "I'm honestly surprised at how I reacted tonight and I'm still sorting out why. I have always considered myself pro-choice, and in the past, had decided that if I were to turn up pregnant, I would have an abortion." She felt Henry cringe against her.

"Listen, I'm telling you how it was. With you, it was different, almost from the very beginning. I knew where you would stand long before we ever actually talked about it. I could just tell. That, and I knew how I felt about you. When we talked about it, I said-"

"That you'd never abort _my_ baby. Yes. I remember," Henry said, expectantly.

"See that's just it," Elizabeth said. "Then, it had much more to do with upsetting you than having an abortion That's where I'm confused, because tonight my grief doesn't have anything to do with you. It has to do with our baby. That's why I ended up in the Adoration Chapel. I needed to apologize to God for not giving our baby a chance to live."

Elizabeth stopped walking and rubbed her temples. "There are so many things in this scenario that are just not me, or my way of thinking," She pressed her hand to her head. "I have a wicked headache. There's no way I'm going to be able to think through this tonight."

"You don't have to think about it tonight. We're almost home. It's well past bedtime. We can tackle this tomorrow," Henry said. They crossed the parking lot to the apartment building, walked up the stairs, and entered their home. "Let's go to bed, babe."

A few days later, Elizabeth and Henry were having their morning coffee before going to class. Elizabeth was distant, more so than she had been since the other night. Henry could tell she'd been processing what happened. He made himself available to talk, but did not push. While refilling her cup, he rubbed his hand on her back, "You okay?"

His touch brought her out of her thoughts. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking." As he put the empty coffee pot in the sink, Elizabeth started sharing. "I called the gynecologist yesterday. It seems the active ingredients in all of the birth control pills that prevent ovulation are the same, so it is likely that I would have a reaction to them all. That was the reason she prescribed the progesterone based pill. There's an injection that is in the testing phase that lasts for three months and prevents ovulation. She said she could probably get me into a clinical trial."

Henry furrowed his brow. "I don't know that I like the idea of you being a test subject. That, and with it being a 3 month shot, what if you have another reaction? How would you get it out of your system quicker than three months?'

"I thought the same things and already told her no." Relief washed over Henry's face, but was quickly replaced by concern.

"What are you thinking about doing?" he asked, truly uncertain about what her decision might be. He knew that she would listen to him and take his concerns into consideration. However, he also knew that ultimately she was going to do what made her the most comfortable and that may not be what he wanted.

"Well, I don't know, but I have 6 days to decide. I'm not going to continue taking what I have now," Elizabeth paused, then looked up at Henry standing next to her. "We need to finish the Natural Family Planning book. We haven't got to the how to part yet and that will be the deciding factor. I already pulled the original studies that were quoted in the book and the assessment of the data was accurate. NFP is just as reliable as the pill and more so than condoms or using a diaphragm. A couple other articles from medical journals stated that the method is sound but has a higher rate of user error. I want to see what it actually entails so I can decide if it is truly complicated or people are stupid."

Henry studied his wife. Her blonde curls were pulled back into a ponytail, pencil poked into it at a cock-eyed angle. Her deep blue eyes peered back at him expecting an acknowledgement. He grinned and pulled her out of her chair into his arms, murmuring in her ear, "Do you know how sexy you are when you are in research mode?"

Arching her eyebrows at him, she answered, "Seriously?"

He kissed her forehead, "quoting studies." Then kissing her cheek, "accurate data assessment, mmmm," he hummed. "Medical journals, oh yeah," placing his lips against hers, he continued talking. "It's all very sexy.." Running his tongue along the seam of her lips, he said, "at least when you say it, it is. When is your next class?"

"Not for another hour. Do I know of something I should be doing?" Opening her mouth, her tongue met his and he grinned, "I can think of something."

RATED M

Elizabeth backed Henry to the couch, unfastening his pants along the way. When his calves hit the front of the couch, she pushed his jeans down his thighs, taking his briefs with them. Henry pulled at her shirt, untucking it from her skirt and slowly unbuttoned it. She pushed him onto the couch, hiked her skirt up, and straddled his lap. "How's this?" she asked.

"Very nice," he replied, running his hands up her torso, pulling her bra down, exposing her breasts. She leaned in, taking his upper lip in her mouth, licking it before opening her mouth letting their tongues slide against each other. Her hands were clenched around his biceps as he cupped her breasts, rolling her nipples into taut peaks as she moaned into his mouth. Arching her back, she ground her hips into him causing them both to gasp. "I need you," he moaned into her chest.

Raising up more on her knees, she pumped him a few times and slid her panties to the side. "You are hard as a rock. God I want you."

Henry cried out as her arousal dripped and she pushed herself down his length. Taking a moment to adjust, she kissed him passionately. He placed his hands on her hips and she started to move. It was a slow, steady rhythm at first, her hips moving in a tight circle over him. Henry's gasps spurring her on. Elizabeth increased the pace and he was close, but Henry knew she wasn't quite there yet. Sensing he was going to come first, he went straight for her clit and applied pressure. "Fuck!" she screamed and rode him harder. He couldn't hold on any longer. He pushed up hard into her and she fell into him causing his teeth to sink into her collarbone. The pain and pleasure collided in her core, causing her to convulse against him as they both rode out their orgasms.

"Wow," she smirked as she slumped against Henry.

"Yeah, wow." he agreed.

END OF M RATED SECTION

Elizabeth sat back up. "How bad do I look?" she asked.

"You're gorgeous." Henry replied in all sincerity.

Elizabeth blushed. "I don't want to go to class looking like I just had amazing sex. Can you help a girl out here?" She grinned.

"Oh yeah, I guess that might be awkward." Henry agreed. Elizabeth adjusted her bra and Henry pulled her shirt back up on her shoulders. Seeing teeth marks on her, he winced. "Sorry about that," he said pulling her close so he could kiss the spot. Then he buttoned her shirt back up.

"Don't worry about it," she whispered. "It gave me one hell of an orgasm." Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she climbed off of him and his now soft penis slid out of her. "I think new panties are going to be necessary." She winked as she walked off toward the bedroom. Quickly she cleaned up, changed her panties, fixed her hair and makeup. She thought she looked presentable other than a more than slightly wrinkled shirt.

Emerging from the bedroom, she laughed. Henry had not moved from his spot, and had fallen asleep. "Oh good grief," she giggled to herself. Walking around the back side of the couch, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. Opening one eye, he smiled at her. "Just make sure you remember to pull your pants back up before answering the door, should someone knock," she teased. "Don't forget we have a date with a book tonight." Then she grabbed her backpack and was off to class.


	48. Chapter 48

A/N: Happy Easter everyone! Sorry this took a little longer to get finished than originally intended. It appears the I have other obligations than puttering around the house writing this fic. Who knew?? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Deployment is around the corner.

Chapter 48

Elizabeth arrived back home at 5:30 mostly just to spite Henry since he'd teased her about losing track of time in the library. The apartment smelled fabulous and Elizabeth's mouth was watering, her PBJ having long since worn off. Looking around, Henry was nowhere to be seen. "Henry, I'm home," she called. Nothing.

Entering the bedroom, she found him halfway under the bed muttering to himself. For a brief moment, she thought about tickling him, but decided against it figuring she would scare him to death and the payback would be swift, and she needed to eat. He emerged covered in dust bunnies and was still muttering. "Whatcha doin'?" she asked as she knelt down beside him.

"Oh hey! You're home early. What am I doing? Uh, we lost the book. I was going to lay it on the coffee table for tonight and I can't find it."

"I can help with that. I took it with me the other day when I looked up those studies. It's in my bag in the other room. Sorry. I should've mentioned it." She picked a few stray dust balls out of his hair. "You know, you're cute when you're dusty."

"Thanks babe. I'm just glad we found it. I'm glad you're home early." Sitting up next to her, Henry gave her a quick kiss. "Dinner's almost done."

"It smells amazing. Italian of some kind?" Elizabeth asked.

"Lasagna. I'll get it out of the oven if you will put together a salad. And, we've got wine." Henry pulled himself up off the floor, and wrapped his wife in a hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. I rushed through my research so I could get back here to you," she grinned as she pecked him on the lips.

"That and you wanted to prove me wrong about you always being late when you're at the library?" He arched his eyebrow at her.

"That was just a bonus," she smirked.

Elizabeth patted her stomach, "Henry, that was the best lasagna I've ever eaten in my life. Thank you for being so wonderful to me."

"My pleasure. I'm glad you like it," he said, wrapping his arms around her

"Are you ready to tackle the book?"

"Sure thing," he sat down on the couch. "Come here." Henry motioned Elizabeth to come sit with him. She sat down next to him and threw her legs over his lap, snuggling into him.

"Let's figure this thing out," she said, opening the book. "Signs of ovulation." She looked at Henry. "Did you ever imagine married life like this?"

"Learning about ovulation? No, I hadn't really planned on that. But, sitting, cuddled up with the love of my life after a long day? Yeah, that's everything I could have ever hoped for." Henry wrapped his arm around her small frame and pulled her to him and kissed her chastly. "You are everything I've ever hoped for," he whispered.

"You are the one I couldn't even bring myself to hope for," she murmured against his chest. Henry kissed the top of her head. Looking up at him, she smiled. "Ready?"

Together, they poured over the vast amounts of information. It was very overwhelming, but Elizabeth was fascinated. The idea that she could take this set of information and use it to know exactly what her body was doing and when, was hard to describe. I feel knowledgeable, and capable. Strong. It's empowering. I like it! She grinned to herself.

Simultaneously, Henry shifted next to her and under his breath muttered, "Ew."

"What's ew?" Elizabeth asked.

"Okay, I can totally get behind taking your temperature every morning and charting it all looking for it to raise and everything that entails. But, cervical mucus, really? Checking daily to see how stretchy it is. That's just gross." Henry scrunched up his face which caused Elizabeth to laugh.

"What's so gross about it? It's just a bodily fluid. Not like it's wonderful, but it isn't anything terrible."

"I don't know. Just sticking your finger in yourself to see what you pull out?" He wrinkled his forehead. "Ew."

Elizabeth giggled, "Because if there are any fingers up there, they should belong to you, right?"

Henry grimaced, "I hadn't even thought about that."

"Stop! I was teasing. I guarantee there isn't anything sexually arousing about it. I've been putting in no applicator tampons in for years. Not once has there been anything remotely gratifying about it." Elizabeth promised.

Henry caught her gaze, "So you're really going to try this?"

"Yeah, what I like most about it is that I can use this information to figure out how my body works. I know the purpose right now to is prevent a pregnancy, but I'm betting that I can use to see patterns for other things as well. Sometimes I just feel crappy or nauseous, or bitchy and I bet I will be able to see patterns in some of it as it relates to ovulation."

"For The record, you are never bitchy. But, speaking of ovulation, you mentioned the other night that you ovulated the day before the wedding. How did you know?"

"It usually happens between day 12 and 14 of my cycle. I almost always have some mild cramping on one side or the other. It only lasts half an hour or so. It doesn't keep me from doing anything, just noticeable. My gynecologist in high school said that the cramping was probably from the follicle rupturing when it releases the egg."

"That's cool, and beneficial because you'll know when but have the other information to back it up making everything more accurate, right."

"That's what I was thinking too. How weird is it that I'm totally geeking out over that data analysis of this?"

Elizabeth was dead serious and that made it more funny to Henry. "Uh, I doubt most people are excited to do NFP because of data analysis aspect, but whatever floats your boat babe," he chuckled. She grinned at him and put her head back on his chest.

The next week, Henry and Elizabeth found themselves in the rectory at St. Thomas Aquinas waiting to meet their NFP mentor couple. After a few minutes, a couple in their early 30s walked in. Henry immediately stood and extended his hand, "Todd?"

"Yes. Todd Higgins," the men shook hands, and gesturing, "and this is my wife, Rhonda."

"Henry, Henry McCord," and this is my wife, Elizabeth, who was now standing by his side. Greetings were exchanged and they sat across from each other on comfortable couches.

"Let's get started by introducing ourselves," Rhonda began. "I'm 29 and Todd is 33. We've been married for 5 years. We both joined the church 3 years ago and have been doing NFP since we were in RCIA, so that is close to 4 years."

"RCIA?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's the program people go through when they are joining the Catholic Church. It stands for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults" Todd replied.

"Ah, got it. Do you have children?" Elizabeth inquired.

"We have twin girls that are almost 5 and I'm 3 months pregnant," Rhonda smiled warmly and then continued, "So, how about you?"

Henry jumped in. "Elizabeth is 20 and I'm 22. We were just married 3 weeks ago. I've been Catholic all my life and Elizabeth isn't and we just started this journey."

"Wow, newlyweds!" Todd exclaimed. "That's exciting. How did you come to the decision to go with NFP and what are your goals?"

Henry side-eyed Elizabeth wondering if she wanted to take this one and found her side-eyeing him back. They laughed nervously. "Well," Elizabeth began. "With me having 2 years left in college and Henry going active duty once he graduates, we want to wait to start a family. Before we married, Henry told me that if I wanted to be on birth control, I would need to be the one in charge of it, since it goes against the Faith. Let's just say there were a few hiccups with that plan and just after we married, we wanted to look for something different. After reading the NFP book, we decided to try it."

"So you're on board with NFP?" Rhonda asked, her question aimed at Elizabeth.

"Yes, Why wouldn't I be?" Elizabeth was going a little on the defensive, but did her best to keep her response light.

Rhonda caught the change in inflection immediately. "I apologize. I didn't mean anything by it. Truthfully, you aren't the average couple we see. At least in this group, we don't get many mixed faith couples, and you are by far the youngest. I was just asking to be sure it's something you both want to do. NFP isn't difficult, but it's not easy either. Probably the biggest indicator of success will be the commitment both of you have to making it work."

Elizabeth felt Henry's hand twitch under hers as Rhonda spoke. She looked the woman in the eye and while her voice and word choice was kind, she left no room for doubt. "I'm very used to being the odd one in a group, so that doesn't bother me in the slightest. Henry suggested NFP as a possibility and picked up the book. We read it together, but I was the one who researched it and I decided that it would work for me. Henry is with me and we're committed. Are we good?" Rhonda nodded.

Things were a little tense for a few minutes, but both Henry and Elizabeth asked really good questions and the couples relaxed and had a nice conversation.

Leaving the rectory, Elizabeth wrapped her arm through Henry's as they walked home. "That was helpful, don't you think?"

""Yeah, they told us a lot of practical things to make the process easier." Henry pulled her a bit closer. "By the way, I thought you handled Rhonda very well. I have a feeling we may get a lot of BS about being young."

And so the days fell into weeks. Henry took on the task of making sure Elizabeth took her temperature every morning. Since he always woke up first, Henry roused her enough to stick the thermometer in her mouth and by the time he finished his morning prayers, it had been long enough for the temperature to register. He stuck the glass thermometer back in the case and Elizabeth charted the temperature when she charted her mucus levels and cervical opening. It didn't take nearly as much time as she thought it would when they had read the book.

They were going along just fine until the 4th day of not being able to have sex. They both woke up feeling aroused and couldn't really act on it. Irritability set in around day 6 and by day 7 they were staying out of each other's way so they didn't fight. They weren't mad at each other, just frustrated.

Early that evening, Henry was studying in the living room and Elizabeth was on the bed. Henry had been looking at the same page for 20 minutes and still had no idea what it said. Thinking about the situation they were in and were going to find themselves in monthly, he chuckled at the ludicrousness of it all. He got off the couch and entered the bedroom. He watched Elizabeth for a few moments. He could tell that she wasn't getting much accomplished either. "Hey," he said from the doorway.

"Hey," she said, not looking up. "Did you need something?" Her words came out much harsher than she intended.

"I need to be close to you," Henry said plainly.

"Well, that's not an option," she huffed.

"It is. We've just forgotten how to do it."

Elizabeth spun around on the bed to face Henry, who now had taken a couple steps into the room. "What?" Her confusion evident.

"Listen. We were together for 15 months and didn't have sex. I was a hell of a lot closer to you then than I am now. We've put so much emphasis on love making that we just ditched the rest of it. Let me hold you. We always stopped before. We will stop now."

"That was before I knew how good it would be. Now, I don't know that I trust myself."

"I trust you." Henry gazed at her with sincerity. "He'd noticed the slightly off center way Elizabeth was holding her head. He knew the muscles were tight in her neck. "Let me massage your neck. I know you're tense." Giving him a shy smile, she scooted forward a bit on the bed and he slid in behind her. Sliding his hand down her arm, he pulled the ponytail holder off her wrist and proceeded to pull her hair back into a high ponytail so he could have access to her neck and shoulders. He began kneaded the knots in Elizabeth's neck.

"Oh babe, your muscles are so tight."He worked her over for a good half hour until most of the knots were relaxed. "Is that better?"

Elizabeth nodded and let her body fall back on Henry's chest. "Thank you," she murmured. Tipping her head back Henry kissed her softly. "Do you have anything that has to be done tonight?" Shaking his head no, Elizabeth offered, "Why don't we take a walk together?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Henry said. "Then we can come home and fall asleep cuddling just like we used to, no expectations."

"Fabulous."

Ten minutes later they were walking in the park leaning on each other. "Is it dumb that it took us a few days to remember how to love on each other without "loving on" each other?" Henry laughed when Elizabeth used air quotes.

"Maybe, but we are quick learners and it only took us a few days. We are new to almost everything. In the past few months, we started living together, planned a wedding, got married, and now we are learning this whole new NFP lifestyle thing, not to mention our course work. It's a lot. I think we get a pass for not always remembering the best way to do everything. We'll figure it out though."

"Of course we will." She pulled him in a little closer as they walked the path together.


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I was hoping that once I got past the NFP stuff, things would go faster. Eh, not so much. Confession: I know very little about military procedures, so if I am not able to find information online, I'm making it up. For those more knowledgeable, feel free to correct me and I'll change things where I can. As always, thanks for the reviews and I'm always up for suggestions.

Chapter 49

June 4, 1989

Standing in front of the armory, Elizabeth clung to Henry. "I'll be home soon," he murmured into her hair.

"I know. Thirteen weeks isn't that long. Then you'll be home for a little while."

"I'll miss you-" Henry started.

"With every fiber of my being," Elizabeth finished. _You can do this. It's like ripping off a band-aid. Just make it quick. Drawing it out won't make it easier._ She kissed him hard and he held her close. She pushed back away from him. "I love you. Call when you can." Elizabeth flashed him a dazzling smile and walked to the car and got in. She drove away waving.

Henry waved until she was out of sight, swallowing the lump in his throat. _I wonder if she will make it home before she breaks down._ Shaking his head, he prayed. _God, watch over her. Protect her. Help her be strong and know that I'm coming home as soon as I can._ Henry walked into the building preparing to leave for basic training.

Elizabeth made it about half a mile before the tears were flowing to the point that she could no longer see to drive. She pulled off the road into the parking lot of a small diner. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there crying when there was a tap on the window. Rolling the window down, an older lady wearing a waitress uniform was standing there. "Honey, you ok?"

Elizabeth blew her nose, and choked out, "I'm alright."

The woman rolled her eyes, "Sure looks like it. Why don't you come on in and have a cup of coffee?"

"I don't think-" Elizabeth was cut off.

"I know I asked that like it was a question honey, but it really wasn't. Come on." Opening the car door, she continued, "My name's Phyllis and you are?"

"E-E-Elizabeth," came out in shuddering breaths.

"Honey, I don't know what all's goin' on, but it looks like we'll need pie to go with that coffee." She wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's shoulders and ushered her into the empty diner. Then she immediately sent Elizabeth to the restroom to splash some water on her face. Phyllis cut a generous piece of chocolate cream pie and poured a cup of coffee,sitting it at a table by the window.

Elizabeth emerged a few minutes later, red faced, with puffy, swollen eyes. She had for the most part stopped crying though, except for the occasional shudder as she tried to regulate her breathing. She sat down at the table and Phyllis joined her. "It's been slow today. I sent the cook, Johnny, home, so it's just me and you. What's got you all upset, Hon?"

Elizabeth took a drink of coffee, trying to decide if she could say it aloud without crying again. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "My husband left for basic training today."

"Aww, that is hard," she crooned. "How long y'all been married?"

"Eleven weeks."

"Wooo! That's not very long. No wonder you're so out of sorts about it. How long is basic? Ten weeks or so?"

"Thirteen. He'll get to come home for a little while. Maybe a month and then he'll get stationed somewhere else."

"You joinin' him when he gets his orders?" Phyllis immediately regretted the question when she saw the crestfallen look Elizabeth gave her.

"I still have two years of college left. My scholarships at UVA pretty much cover my tuition. I can't justify trying to transfer and really there's no guarantee that Henry will remain wherever he starts out." She sighed.

"So what are you afraid of?"

"Afraid?"

"You'll be apart for the better part of two years. I'm guessin' that you'll join him once you graduate. So, what are you afraid will happen during that time?"

"I don't know." Elizabeth looked at Phyllis questioningly.

"Well, it seems that you are upset beyond what would be normal. I'm just guessin' that you are terrified about somethin'." That caused Elizabeth to take a step back. She really had to think about it. Phyllis pushed the plate of pie at her and Elizabeth mindlessly took a bite while she withdrew into herself.

"I'm afraid of becoming the person I was before I met Henry," she spoke softly. "And I'm afraid that we will become different people and won't know each other when we get back together." Phyllis just sat there silently for a long while, letting Elizabeth mull that over.

Elizabeth studied the woman sitting before her. Phyllis was in her mid to late 60s. She had tightly curled gray hair, with one stubborn strip of white that ran through it. Her closely set brown eyes were piercing, but friendly. She had a broad nose and an even broader smile that set Elizabeth at ease.

Just then a family walked through the door and Phyllis jumped up. "Duty calls," she said and turning to the new customers, she said, "Welcome y'all. Sit where you like. I'll bring you some water."

As Phyllis took the orders, Elizabeth slipped a $10 under the pie plate and stood to leave. Phyllis caught her eye and Elizabeth smiled and mouthed "Thank you," to her. Phyllis winked and headed into the kitchen to start the food.

It had been a week since Henry left and Elizabeth was struggling to find a new normal. She knew she was going to have to make a drastic change in how she ran her life. When she was alone in the apartment, their apartment, despair overtook her. Thinking about what Phyllis had brought to the surface, she started small. She signed up for a couple summer classes that met on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. She made a conscious decision to meet more people. Recognizing a few people in her classes, Elizabeth introduced herself and made a couple coffee dates. She was invited to join a study group and she accepted. For the first time ever, she was writing social appointments in her planner instead of just assignments.

At first, she wasn't having a enjoying herself, she was just occupying her mind with things other than Henry. But, as the days, then a few weeks, passed, she found that she actually looked forward to her study group and the small group of friends she collected.

Nights were still hard. Elizabeth wore Henry's t-shirts and clutched his pillow crying herself to sleep most nights. She wrote long letters telling him everything that was going on and she had long conversations in her head with him.

Sunday evenings, she sat by the phone, on the off chance that he could call. He wasn't able to call every week and she knew he only got one call on the weeks that he was allowed to call. Some of those calls would have to go to his parents. It had been four weeks since Elizabeth dropped Henry off. She sat cross legged in the chair next to the phone. Elizabeth was clutching the one letter she'd received from Henry, reading and rereading it. When the phone rang, she jumped nearly falling out of the chair. Grabbing the phone and dropping the handset, she finally answered breathlessly, "Hello!"

Henry chuckled into the phone, "Hey babe. Should I call back at a more convenient time?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hi," Elizabeth melted into the chair, happy tears threatening to fall. "Now is a perfect time. How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm tired. I miss you so much,"

"I miss you too," she whispered into the phone.

"Tell me everything that's been going on. I want to know what you've been doing," Henry prodded.

"Well, I'm taking two summer courses: French Literature and Advanced Statistics. Both are three days a week. Both have study groups that meet a couple times a week. I'm trying to stay busy. What about you? How hard is it? Have you made any friends?"

"It's both physically and mentally exhausting. We're up at 4 and many times don't get back until 11 or later. I'm asleep before I hit the pillow and I dream of you all night." Henry paused. "I met a few guys that I get along with pretty well. Everyone is pretty friendly since we're all in the same boat. I think most of them are tired of hearing about you, because that's all I talk about. How about you? Study groups? That's not really been your thing before."

"I had to do something. Sitting here alone was too depressing. The groups aren't bad. Actually better than I thought. There are a few people that I am making friends with. We've been out for coffee a couple of times. I'm trying to branch out."

"That's great babe. I know it's hard for you to put yourself out there. I'm sorry I'm not there for you."

"Hey, no guilt. It's not like we didn't know this was going to happen, right? I'm a big girl. I miss you, but I'll be fine. You just keep doing what you need to do to get back to me ASAP, okay?"

"Roger that, babe! Can you call mom and dad and let them know I'm doing fine?"

"Yeah, I'll do that when I hang up." Elizabeth promised.

"Just nine more weeks til I can hold you," Henry said.

"I'm counting the days."

"I know. Me too. I love you."

"I love you too. Call me when you can. I'll be waiting by the phone. Bye."

Bye, babe."

Elizabeth held the phone to her chest until it started beeping at her. She gently set it in the cradle and stared at the phone for a few minutes replaying her conversation with Henry.. Emerging from her reverie, she dialed MaryHelen and Patrick McCord's number. On the third ring, she heard, "McCords."

"Hi. Erin?"

"Yes."

"It's Elizabeth. How are you?"

"Hey Elizabeth. I'm good. Have you heard from Henry? Mom and Dad were just talking about that tonight."

"Actually yeah. He's good. Are they around?"

"Hold on." Erin pulled the phone away and yelled, "Mom. Elizabeth's on the phone." Elizabeth could've sworn she heard Maureen in the background, but chose not to focus on that. Erin came back on. "She's coming. It'll be just a minute. Mom said you were taking summer classes. Are those going okay?"

"Yeah, they are kind of overwhelming because they are packing twelve weeks worth of information and work into six, but I like the distraction. It's keeping me sane," Elizabeth said, thankful that at least one of the McCord sisters was pleasant.

"Oh, here's Mom. It was nice to talk to you. Bye," Erin handed the phone to MaryHelen.

"Hello dear," MaryHelen said.

"Hi. I just wanted to let you know that Henry called. He said it was really exhausting, but that he's doing fine and he's missing everyone," Elizabeth reported.

"Praise God!" MaryHelen exclaimed. "I was just telling Patrick that I was getting worried not having heard from him at all. That's definitely a relief. How are you managing?"

"It's hard, but I'm making it," Elizabeth said. "It was good to talk to him tonight. I feel a little better. Like you I was getting worried."

"If you are looking for a change of scenery, you are always welcome to come visit us for a weekend."

"I have a big project due in a couple of weeks, but once that's finished, I may take you up on that. I'll call you and let you know," Elizabeth commented, thinking she may actually go.

"We'd love to have you anytime. Elizabeth, next time you talk to Henry, tell him we love him," MaryHelen's voice cracked just a tiny bit.

Elizabeth swallowed her tears and forced herself to answer brightly, "Of course, I will. Love you all. Bye." Placing the phone in the cradle she sat silently.

Looking around the room, she suddenly felt claustrophobic, Elizabeth needed to get out of this space. Glancing at her watch, it was 7 and she hadn't eaten yet. She decided to take a trip to the diner, hoping she might see Phyllis. Grabbing her purse, she locked the apartment and left.

Ten minutes later, she was walking into the diner. There were 4 couples and 2 families around the tables and a guy sitting alone at the bar. Elizabeth pulled up a seat at the end of the bar and waited. She heard Phyllis well before she saw her. Johnny was getting an earful about overcooking the green beans. She laughed and was thankful that she wasn't in Johnny's shoes.

Seeing a stack of menus on the counter below her, she leaned over the bar and grabbed a menu figuring she would speed the process along. She'd just opened it and started browsing when Phyllis pushed the metal swinging doors open and stepped into the front dining area, "Lawd, have mercy," Phyllis's voice rang out. "Look who finally decided to show up and let an old woman know she was doin' alright!"

Elizabeth blushed furiously, knowing that all eyes were on her. Phyllis sidled around the end of the bar and swooped Elizabeth up in a hug. "Aw, I'm just givin' you grief girl. I was hopin' you'd make it back around this way to see me. Been prayin' for ya, you know."

"I believe it," Elizabeth smiled, thankful that everyone had turned their attention back to their meals and conversations. "Henry was able to call for the first time tonight, and afterwards I was just lonely and thought I might come and say hi."

"Well, honey, you are welcome here anytime," Phyllis crooned. "You hungry?" Phyllis rolled her eyes. "I got a whole potful of mushy green beans if those sound good to you."

Elizabeth laughed, "No thanks on the beans. I'd like a bacon double cheeseburger and fries though."

"Lawd, girl! Where you puttin' all that food? You're thin as a rail."

"I don't think you need to be worried about where I'm going to be putting it all. I'll be just fine," Elizabeth laughed. Phyllis was a bit rough around the edges, but Elizabeth could tell she was genuine and had a kind heart.

Most of the other people had finished their meals and left by the time that Elizabeth got hers. As Phyllis brought Elizabeth's plate out, she called over her shoulder, "Johnny, you get that grill cleaned up and you can leave for the night."

Phyllis cut herself a piece of pie and poured a cup of coffee before she sat down next to Elizabeth. Placing her napkin into her lap, Elizabeth tore into the sandwich. She hadn't had much to eat most of the day and was starving. "So really," Phyllis started, "How have you been makin' out?"

"It's been hard, but you made me confront some things that I didn't want to acknowledge, so thank you. I decided that I couldn't sit around and wallow in misery, so I signed up for a couple classes, joined a couple study groups and invited people out for coffee. The busier I stay, the less depressing it is. Only nine more weeks and he'll be home, hopefully for a month. I just have to take one day at a time."

"Sounds like you got your head screwed on straight," Phyllis said. "What are your plans for when he leaves again?"

"Well, I don't have it all planned out, but I can go to him for Christmas break and I can spend the summer with him. We'll make it work. I know we will." Elizabeth paused. "It does worry me though. He's doing his own thing. I'm doing my own thing. How hard will it be to get back to us doing our own thing? Especially after 2 years on our own?" She sighed.

Phyllis took another drink of coffee. "It will work if you both want it to work."

"I know. It's just an always an underlying worry, you know?"

"These are the times I turn to prayer."

"Yeah, the whole prayer thing isn't really my scene." Elizabeth took another bite of her sandwich.

"I find that it helps with things like this," Phyllis prodded.

 _Well that makes one of us_. "So, what about you? You aren't from here." Elizabeth evaded and Phyllis didn't call her on it.

"Originally from Arkansas, then did a 12 year stint in Kentucky. Got married out of high school, followed my man around on his adventures. About 15 years ago, he decided that owning a diner is what he wanted to do. And, so, we ended up here." She looked around the diner and smirked, "Then the jerk up and died on me three years ago and left me with this."

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said, empathy in her voice. She knew all too well how that felt. "Have you thought about selling?"

"Eh, I have no place to go really. No family to speak of. Most of my friends are here and I'm too old to start a new job and too young to sit around doing nothing."

"I can see that. Keeping busy keeps loneliness at bay. I wish I could find an equally effective strategy for the middle of the night."

"Ain't that the truth." The two women sat in silence as Elizabeth finished her meal, wiping the last bit of ketchup up with her last French fry. "Good thing I didn't bet on that." Elizabeth looked at her questioningly. "I would'a put a lot of money on you not being able to eat all of that."

Elizabeth stared at Phyllis. "Hollow leg," she deadpanned. Phyllis burst out in uproarious laughter. Unable to keep a straight face, Elizabeth joined in. The two laughed until they cried. When they calmed, they just sat together until Elizabeth reached over and picked Phyllis's plate up and stacked it on hers. Taking both and the cup and glass, Elizabeth stood. Phyllis protested. "What exactly do you think you're doin'?"

"The dishes," Elizabeth said as she threw her hip into the swinging door and disappeared into the kitchen. A few minutes later, Elizabeth returned to find Phyllis emptying the register. Elizabeth reached into her purse to get money for her meal and Phyllis waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I enjoyed the company."

"My company, enchanting though it may be, doesn't pay your bills." She slid a $10 across the bar.

Phyllis met her gaze. "You frequently get your way, don't you?"

"I've found that people think it's easier to give me what I want rather than argue with me."

"Hmm. I see. You do realize I won't be one of those people." Phyllis slid the money back across the counter.

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. "It really isn't fair for you not to charge me for a meal I ate."

"Make you a deal," Phyllis ripped a length of receipt tape from the cash register and wrote something down. "I'll take your money and you take my number with the promise that you'll call if you're having a bad night. I guarantee I'll be up."

"Deal." Elizabeth took the slip of paper and put it in her pocket.

"You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise." Elizabeth hugged the woman and headed out into the evening. She thought she might take her up on her offer sometime.


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: SOI is the abbreviation for School of Infantry (I couldn't figure out how to add that in the middle of the story without completely messing up the dialogue.) ;) Have a fabulous day!

Chapter 50

September 1, 1989

Stepping off the plane, the bright sun warmed her face and the wind whipped through her hair. Geoffrey had not only insisted that she fly out for Henry's graduation from basic training, but that she take his plane. She chuckled to herself as a limousine rolled up in front of the plane stairs. Apparently he was providing transportation as well. She went down the stairs with the crew following behind carrying her luggage. After thanking them, she climbed into the car and leaned back closing her eyes and trying to settle her stomach.

Somehow this semester, Elizabeth ended up with all of her classes on Tuesday and Thursday. It made those days terribly exhausting, but it was great when she wanted a long weekend. Explaining her situation, Elizabeth was excused from her Thursday classes, which allowed her to leave for Geoffrey's Wednesday morning and spend Wednesday evening, Thursday and Friday morning with him. It was originally her intention to spend most of Labor Day weekend with Geoffrey and pick Henry up from the armory Sunday afternoon. When Geoffrey heard this plan, he would have nothing of it, telling her that she had to fly out to see him graduate. Since this had only been decided Wednesday evening, Henry had no idea she was coming.

Elizabeth spent most of the morning Thursday on the phone trying to get approval to be on base since Henry hadn't given her name as an attending guest. She finally was transferred to someone who took pity on her and put a rush on the forms and told her that she could pick up her credentials at the gate.

Heading to the base now, her stomach was doing somersaults. Elizabeth was excited and nervous and happy and worried all at the same time. She tried to tamp down her feelings into some sort of manageable form so she could function. When the limo pulled up to the gate, she got out and was approached by the guard. She showed the man her ID and he presented her with a clipboard full of papers, a few of which needed to be signed. Finally, she received everything she needed. The first event wasn't for a few hours, so they went to the hotel and checked in.

As she walked to her room, she wondered how Geoffrey managed to pull off accommodations within blocks of the base on graduation weekend only two days ahead of time. Unlocking the room and walking in, she felt she had a good idea. It was high end and probably cost an arm and a leg. She smiled, tossing her things on the couch. She would have to thank Geoffrey again later. Sitting down, she looked through the paperwork and found the agenda for families. The evening event was a family mixer beginning at 6 PM. That would be the first opportunity the soldiers would have to see their families. _How will that work? Do soldiers go if they don't have family attending graduation? They might. Chances are that the food is better._ She checked her watch. That was in three hours. She would go and hope Henry was there. _If he's not, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it._

She walked into a large courtyard a few minutes after six. Most families had already arrived it seemed. There were seven guys standing off to the side that didn't look like they were waiting for family, but Henry wasn't among them. She scanned the room and was starting to become a little dejected. She had so hoped he would be there. Elizabeth was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the two recruits walk up to her. "Elizabeth? Elizabeth McCord?" one asked.

"Yes, how do you know my name?" she asked suspiciously, knowing her name tag was still in her purse.

"I doubt there's a person going through basic that hasn't seen your picture at some point. Then there are those of us who happen to bunk close enough that we are privy to the Elizabeth shrine that is erected on the door of Henry's locker. I could pick you out of a crowd of people in a heartbeat. Oh, sorry, my name's Benjamin McKinney. People call me Benny. This is Randy Masters," Benny said, pointing to the guy standing behind him.

"Nice to meet you. Where is Henry?" Elizabeth said, trying to ignore the blush that crept up her face at the mention of her unknown popularity.

"He said there was no purpose in coming, but I think we have sufficient reason to drag him here now." Benny elbowed Randy. "What do we tell him to get him here?"

"His wife is waiting?" Randy suggested.

"Hell no, that's no fun! He has to show up unknowingly. By God, I think we should get something out of this too!" Benny grabbed Randy by the arm. "We'll figure something out. Hang tight. We'll be back shortly."

She walked over and started to pick up a cup of punch but decided against it. The butterflies in her stomach were staging a rebellion and she made a beeline for the restroom.

Emerging several minutes later, having emptied the sparse contents of her stomach, she actually felt a little better. Popping a Tic-Tac in her mouth, she made her way back into the courtyard and there she saw him. He had his back to her and as she made her way up to him, she overheard Henry say, "I have no real reason to be here, I'm going back."

Stepping up behind him, Elizabeth said, "Come on Henry, don't you think you could stay just a little while. For me?" She couldn't see the look on his face, but it must have been spectacular because Randy and Benny were high-fiving each other.

Henry turned on his heel and stared at her. She was so beautiful, she took his breath away. "Elizabeth," crossed his lips as he pulled her into his embrace. Burying his face in her hair, breathing in her scent, she felt his tears reach her scalp. Elizabeth knew he wouldn't let her go until he regained control of himself, so she hugged him hard and whispered, "I love you so much."

When he finally pulled back, he was smiling, with slightly watery eyes. She grinned at him. Benny piped up, speaking to Randy, "Looks like our work here is done." They elbowed each other and turned to go.

"Thanks guys," Elizabeth said. "It was nice to meet both of you." Turning her attention back to Henry, she looked up at him and smirked. "Do you think your wife might get a kiss? It's been quite a while."

"Of course." He bent down, gently covering her lips with his. She shifted and pulled his top lip into her mouth sucking on it gently before running her tongue over it. He moaned into her mouth, pulled back, and smiled widely at her. "How did you get here? We decided you weren't coming. I'm so happy you are here. God, I missed you so much." He embraced her again before shuffling them off to the edge of the room so they could sit on a bench together.

"I wasn't coming. But when I arrived at Geoffrey's, he said our plan was ridiculous and he arranged the flight. Then yesterday afternoon. I sweet talked someone in administration into getting my credentials in person when I showed up today. The plane flew in about four hours ago, I came straight to the base and signed the papers. I checked into the hotel and then came here.

"How did you know which guys to ask about me?" Henry wanted to know.

Elizabeth laughed. "I didn't find them. They found me. Apparently my face frequently shows up around here and I heard there might be a shrine erected in your locker?" She playfully elbowed him.

Henry blushed. "Maybe I missed you a little bit, and maybe I wanted everyone to know why I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Maybe I talked about you-all of the time. I don't know. Just possibilities." He scooted closer, leaning down, he ghosted her lips, "I love you." Kissing her tenderly, he threaded his fingers through her hair, and held her there. pinning her lips to his. "I never want this feeling to end" he whispered.

At some point during the evening, the couple was able to separate from each other long enough to get something to eat. Henry took her around to meet some of the guys he knew best and, of course, their families. As the evening drew to a close, the recruits were given a five minute warning before they had to return to their barracks. Henry took Elizabeth around the waist and pulled her to him. "Thank you for coming to see me graduate. I'm so happy you are here." He kissed her. "This time tomorrow night we'll be together." Another kiss. Henry pulled back to look at Elizabeth. "We talked about being good on Sunday night. How's tomorrow looking?"

"You should ask for a temperature shift tonight during your evening prayers," she said, kissing him again.

He smiled against her lips, "I'll do that," he said. "Goodnight babe," I'll see you tomorrow." He stole another kiss. "I love you."

"Love you too," she murmured as her hand left his chest. She watched him disappear before she turned to leave and head back to the hotel.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

The next morning when her alarm went off at 6 AM, she groaned. Elizabeth could name so many things she missed about Henry, but one of the top ones had to be temperature taking. It was so painless when he was in charge of it. She could almost fall back asleep snuggled in his arms. It was a wonderful way to connect before starting their day.

Trying to spin the positive, she remembered that tomorrow Henry would be back and he could take over again. Rolling over, she grabbed the thermometer case from the nightstand and popped it in her mouth and tried to stay awake long enough to make sure the temperature registered. After a few minutes, she pulled it out and slipped it back into the case and fell back asleep.

The graduation ceremony was at 1 PM. It was well before that and Elizabeth was dressed and ready to go. She spent several minutes pacing and finally plopped down in the chair. She picked up a room service menu, to nervous to eat, but feeling the need to do something. Browsing through the options, she glanced over at the nightstand clock to see what time it was. She saw the thermometer case and realized that she hadn't actually looked at the temperature that morning.

Jumping up, she picked up the case and pulled the thermometer out. Holding it up to the light, she read the temperature up to the hundredth of a degree. Then she pulled the nightstand drawer open and retrieved a file folder that had the chart and plotted the temperature on the graph. Smiling, she made the notation. "Trifecta," she murmured to herself. _Rise in temp, no cervical mucus and closed cervix._ Elizabeth started singing to herself, "Somebody's having sex tonight!" Oh how she had missed Henry's touch!

Within seconds, Elizabeth went from someone killing time to woman on a mission. She called down to the valet to have the limousine brought around. She double checked to make sure she had her pass to get on base and her wallet. Throwing both in her purse she walked out of the hotel room with a plan.

She had to do a little self talk in the elevator to overcome embarrassment about asking the concierge where she could find the closest lingerie store, but he didn't bat an eye and directed her to a store that was only a few miles away.

Stepping out of the car, she felt unprepared. Other than lace and satin bra and panty sets, she had never purchased any lingerie. Tonight was special though and she thought the occasion called for something fancier than normal. Stepping inside, she was immediately overwhelmed. The clerk came walking up from the back to offer her assistance.

Elizabeth thought about what she might want and looking at some of the different negligees, she wasn't sure this had been a good idea. Her facial expression gave her away. The clerk said, "How about if I show you a few things and you tell me if it's too much, not you, not enough and we'll see if we can't narrow down the options. Everything at once can be overwhelming."

"Yes, that sounds good," Elizabeth agreed. She pointed to the leather. "No to anything leather. I'm more of a satin girl." The clerk held up a bodysuit that had weird cutouts. "I can't do anything that is going to require training to put it on," Elizabeth continued through the store. The clerk refrained from rolling her eyes, but Elizabeth knew she wanted to. Before the woman even touched the corsets, Elizabeth stopped her, "Maybe someday, but not tonight."

"Okay, here's where you need to be." Elizabeth rounded a display of bras and found herself in an area of various types of slips and babydoll nighties.

"Thank you. This is definitely more my speed. Do you have matching panties for most of these?"

"Most do, yes. If you pick out a couple, I can show you what we have."

"Perfect. Thank you." 30 minutes later, Elizabeth was on the road, headed to the base for graduation and, hopefully, a fabulous after party.

The graduation ceremony itself wasn't what she expected. Elizabeth had envisioned something like high school graduation. But the recruits walked out in formation, completed a few drills and then the commander read their names. That was pretty much it. When the new Marines were dismissed, Henry made his way over to her.

Elizabeth was beaming. When he reached her, she pulled him into a big hug, "I'm so proud of you. Do you want to do anything before we get out of here?"

"I just need to get my things." They went back to the barracks so Henry could pick up his belongings, then they headed out. Henry laughed as the limo pulled up the curb. "Nice ride, babe."

"You know Geoffrey doesn't go halfway," Elizabeth told him. Henry nodded.

"Do you want to stop and get something to eat before we go back?" Elizabeth asked.

"Actually I would if you don't mind," Henry said. "I was too nervous to eat this morning.

They agreed on a Thai restaurant that they spotted up ahead and had a nice quiet meal. Elizabeth spent most of the meal staring at him. Henry had always been physically fit. But now, having been through the rigors of basic training, he was ripped. His arms bulged at the cuff of his short sleeved khaki uniform. His chest had felt rock hard against her hand earlier. She was a little intimidated and aware of her own inadequacies, if she was honest with herself. She traced random patterns on the back of his hand while he finished eating. Wiping his mouth, he spoke, "There's still daylight left. Do you want to walk on the beach?" Elizabeth looked skeptical. "We'll just walk in the sand."

"Sure, do you want to stop by the hotel and change first?"

"Nah. I'm fine." Half an hour later, they found themselves walking along the beach. Henry rolled his cuffs up and they walked hand in hand down the beach letting the water roll in over their feet. He was quiet and Elizabeth knew he was working on telling her something. The feeling of dread enveloped her to the point that she stopped.

He turned to look at her, "What babe?"

"Tell me," she stated simply. Henry dropped his head and sighed. Elizabeth steeled herself for what was to come.

"I got accepted into flight training program."

Elizabeth let out a breath, "But that's good, right? Isn't that what you hoped you would get?"

"It is, but it's not on the timeline I wanted." Henry turned away from her.

"Think big picture Henry. It will be ok."

"I know it will be ok. I just didn't think it would be so hard." Stepping back, he wrapped his arm around Elizabeth and laid his cheek on the top of her head. "In order to make the start of flight school at Quantico, I have to start SOI in 10 days."

"Where is SOI?" she asked trying not to dwell on the 10 days part.

"Camp Pendleton. It's about 40 miles from here. It's roughly 2 months. Then I go to Quantico for around 6 months."

"Quantico, as in Virginia?" Elizabeth asked, hopeful, as she looked into his eyes.

"Yes. I already checked. It's about 2 hours from Charlottesville."

"That's good," she said with measured enthusiasm. "And then?"

"Then a few months in Florida doing flight training on the specific aircraft. Then I figure out where my 'permanent' station will be or be up for deployment."

Laying her head on his chest, she sighed. "Right now, I'm going to focus on the fact that for about half of the next year, you will only be 2 hours away. That, and I've only been to Florida once, and that was when my parents took Will and I to Disney World. I can play tourist next summer. It will be fine."

"You make everything better. You know that?" Henry whispered into her hair. Let's go back to the hotel. I bet we can watch a movie."

She glanced at him for a split second and then remembered that she hadn't told him about the temperature rise. _I think I'll leave that one for a surprise_. "Maybe," she said, "Or maybe the concierge can land us a Scrabble board. He's very resourceful." she smiled.

They walked back to the parking area where the limo was waiting to take them to the hotel. The two were cuddled together for the short drive when Henry spotted the shopping bag on the floor. "Hey, what's this? A gift?" He went to reach for it and Elizabeth batted his hand away.

"It's kind of a gift, for both of us. I went shopping this morning. I'll show you when we get back."

"Uh, okay, sure". Henry settled back and let Elizabeth lean against him. "For the record, I could get used to having someone drive us around. It gives me the opportunity to do this," Henry tipped her chin up and kissed her softly.

She smiled against his lips. "We're almost at the hotel." Less than a minute later, the limousine came to a stop at the front door. The door opened and they got out and walked inside. Elizabeth stopped at the concierge's desk in the lobby.

"Did you find what you were looking for earlier?" the man asked.

"Yes, I did. Thank you for your recommendation. You wouldn't happen to have a Scrabble game around here would you?"

The man arched an eyebrow at her. _No, I don't think we'll need it either, but just go along with me, ok?_ "I can have one brought up to the room in a few minutes."

"I think we are going to stop in the bar for a drink. How about we just pick it up in a bit on our way up." _If we make it to the room, I don't think we'll be answering the door in a few minutes time._

"It will be waiting miss," he replied.

"Thank you." Turning to Henry, she said, "They are going to find us a Scrabble game in case we want to play. Let's have a drink while we wait."

"They can't bring it up?" Henry wrinkled his brow in confusion.

"They could, but I don't want to be interrupted once we're upstairs."

"Okay." _Like I can't answer the door if we are watching a movie. But whatever._

Elizabeth sat down at a table while Henry went up to the bar and ordered drinks. A few minutes later, he returned with a rum and coke for Elizabeth and a local draft for himself.

"So ten days, huh?" she said as Henry sat down at the table. "That isn't a lot of time."

"I know and I'm sorry." He looked at her. "You have no idea how sorry I am," Henry lamented.

"It's not like you have a choice. The Marines don't care about our feelings. And it's only a couple more months and then you'll be close. I can drive up on weekends, or actually, if it's only 2 hours, you can come home when you aren't on duty. We have options, right?" Elizabeth prattled on. Henry nodded and smiled. He loved it when she was problem solving. Her brain worked fast and her mouth even faster.

"Excuse me," the concierge was standing at the edge of the table. "The game you requested. I thought I would just bring it to you."

"Thank you very much," Elizabeth said to the man.

Turning to Henry, she winked before she downed her drink. "If we only have ten days, we're on the clock. Let's go." She eyed his half-empty beer bottle. "You can bring that with you."

Henry laughed, "Whatever you say." He wondered what had gotten into her. On the elevator, Elizabeth was jittery standing next to him. "What's up?"

"You'll see," she replied, not making eye contact. Elizabeth was nervous. She wasn't usually the one to take the lead physically and she felt like this whole lingerie thing was definitely a take charge kind of thing. She was hoping that it would be a fun surprise for Henry, especially after all the time they'd been apart. That, and he still thought that they needed to wait.

Walking into the room, Henry gasped. "Elizabeth, this room is huge. It's bigger than our honeymoon suite."

"I know. I think Geoffrey probably paid an exorbitant amount of money on it. It was part of his greater plan I think." she smiled. "Okay, random question, which color do you like better, red or blue?"

Henry looked at her questioningly, "I don't know. Uh, blue." He looked back down at the paper television guide. "Do you care what we watch?"

"Narrow it down to a couple and I'll decide." She slipped the shopping bag under her arm. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Alright," he said distractedly.

Once in the bathroom, Elizabeth pulled the blue set from the bag. The navy blue nightie was essentially a satin bra with a lace overly with very fine translucent mesh sewn into the bottom edge, flowing to the top of her thigh. The bra clasped in the front, so the mesh met there, creating a gap showing her bare abs. Accompanying the outfit was a more than tiny matching g-string. She ran her fingers through her hair and retouched her lipstick. The butterflies in her stomach were making themselves present again. Looking at the end product in the mirror, she smiled. She definitely looked good. She was pretty sure Henry would think so too.

"Hey babe," he called. "I've got a couple ideas."

RATED M-ISH

Elizabeth took a deep breath and opened the door, leaning against the doorframe. "If you don't mind, I have another idea."

Henry looked up from the paper, his jaw dropping to the floor. "Uh-what-oh-Elizabeth." He swallowed thickly. "This isn't a good idea."

"I promise. It's a fabulous idea." She nodded toward the folder that was laying at the end of the bed.

Henry stepped over to the bed and opened the folder. Looking up at her, he grinned, "You didn't tell me."

"I wanted to surprise you," her voice was low and sultry.

"I am surprised. Pleasantly so." Dropping the folder on the floor, Henry took three strides over to where she was leaning.

Running the back of his hand lightly over her arm, "This-you are beautiful. Just when I think you cannot possibly be more beautiful, you are."

Her skin felt so warm and soft under his touch. He shifted again, his erection straining under his pants was becoming uncomfortable.

She sensed his need and moved to undo his belt buckle and work on his pants. Freeing him, his pants fell to the floor. Next, she went to work on his shirt, unbuttoning the buttons. Pushing it off his shoulders, it fell to the floor and he pulled his t-shirt over his head. She sucked in a shaky breath and ran her hands down his toned chest and over his rock hard abdomen sending a shiver through both of them.

He gave Elizabeth a shy smile. "What do you think?"

"I think I feel a little self conscious," she said softly.

Her simple statement pierced his heart. "Please don't. You will always be the most gorgeous woman in the world to me. Look at me Elizabeth." Tipping her head up, she met his eyes, seeing them dark with unwavering love and an equal part lust. "There will never be another woman that I want more than you. Ever. Let me show you," he practically begged.

"Please," she whispered, barely making a sound.

Slipping his hands through the opening in the front of the nightie, he grasped her sides and pulled her flush to his body, maneuvering his leg between hers. She instinctively ground down on his leg seeking friction. As the arousal ran down his leg, Henry thought he might explode right there. Lowering his head, he caught her upper lip in his teeth and nibbled gently before plunging his tongue into her mouth. She felt the familiar coiling pressure deep within her. He released her and his eyes bored into hers. "Tell me what you want," he commanded,

"I want you to consume me. I want to feel you everywhere." Tears sprang to her eyes and it caught him off guard, "And I want to feel you days after you're gone." Henry swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

His hands slid down from her sides until he found her hands, their fingers interlocking. Henry walked backwards pulling Elizabeth with him. Hitting the edge of the bed, he sat down, Elizabeth standing between his legs. Carefully he unfastened the bra and let the garment fall to the floor. There was a hitch in his breath when he took her in. Henry let his head fall against her middle. His mind was hazy was lust, but he held enough clarity to remember his mission. _God, help me to always show Elizabeth how cherished she is. Don't ever let me forget._

Elizabeth threaded her fingers into his hair and held him to her. She hoped she was able to convey how much she needed him. He kissed her belly and looked up to find her staring at him. He grinned wickedly and tossed her like a rag doll onto the bed. Elizabeth let out a nervous giggle that was immediately replaced with a gasp of pleasure when he placed his mouth on her.

*****END OF SECTION*****

A single ray of light streamed in through the crack in the curtains hitting Elizabeth right in the eye. She squinted and turned her head away from the window. She shifted to turn toward Henry. Moving her legs, she ached and was swollen and stiff. She smiled reminiscing their antics of the previous evening.

She ran her fingers along his hairline. Henry opened a sleepy eye, "Hmmm," he stretched. "Good morning."

She kissed his forehead. "Good morning love. Thank you for last night."

"I think I should be saying the same thing. I missed you so much. We had a lot of catching up to do."

"I think we did ok." She was about to say something else when Henry popped the thermometer into her mouth. She sighed and snuggled into him. _This. This is perfect!_ She had almost fallen back asleep when he pulled the thermometer from her mouth and placed it back in the case.

"What time to we have to check out?"

"Oh, probably 11. We need to make a plan for your time off."

"What do you mean?" Henry asked.

"Well, you have to make it to PIttsburgh to see your family. Do you want to do by yourself? Do you want me to go? Also, my car is at Geoffrey's house, so at some point I'll need to drive it back to school, but that doesn't have to be done right away. I can deal with it later. I can probably drive yours if I need to."

"Of course you can drive it. Do you think I need to go home? I mean I only have 10 days. I feel like I need to spend them with you." The look Elizabeth shot him said everything. "Okay, okay."

"Your mother would be absolutely devastated if she knew we were even having this conversation," Elizabeth chastised.

"I know. I'm just hoarding my time with you. I don't want to have to spend time away doing other things."

"Well, I will have to go to class on Tuesday and Thursday, so if you wanted, you could go then and then we could spend the weekend together. Or, if you want me to go, we could leave Thursday evening and spend Friday, Saturday, Sunday there. Drive home Sunday afternoon and spend Monday together before you leave on Tuesday. Whatever. I'm just thinking out loud."

"It's still early, babe. Can we just sleep a little longer and then tackle all of the logistics? I just want it to be us for a while longer."

"Definitely." Henry rolled on his back and Elizabeth snuggled up next to him, placing her head on his shoulder with her arm over his chest. They both relished the fact that they got to sleep together like this. It seemed to have been an eternity.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Henry rolled over and tapped the alarm clock to silence the beeping. Rubbing his hand over his face, he resigned himself to start the day. Looking down, he smiled. Blonde curls covered his chest, her head on his stomach, her arm draped across his hips, her feet off the end of the bed. Grabbing the thermometer, he rubbed her back hoping to rouse her a little.

Her voice, laced with drowsiness, was confused, "How the hell did I end up down here?" she mumbled. Elizabeth scooted up so she was on Henry's shoulder and he placed the thermometer in her mouth.

"Under your tongue?" he asked. She nodded and relaxed against him. Henry, on the other hand, was far from relaxed. It was already Wednesday and he had less than a week before leaving for SOI. He and Elizabeth were supposed to leave for Pittsburgh to see his family Thursday afternoon after Elizabeth's last class. Henry sighed. He wasn't thrilled about going. Truth be told, he didn't want to go at all. Elizabeth had all but twisted his arm to get him to agree. She was right and he knew it. Knowing that didn't make tolerating Maureen and his father any easier.

He hated the way they treated Elizabeth. She let it roll off her back though, at least she never let them see it bother her. Looking down at her now, he was overcome with love for her. Henry knew she would put up with about anything if it meant keeping a relationship with his family.

After praying, Henry plucked the thermometer from Elizabeth's mouth and slipped it into the case. She looked up at him. "It will be alright," she said.

"What will be alright?" he asked, thinking that there could be a number of things she was referring to.

"Your family. This trip. Our time together. It will all be alright."

Henry studied her. "How did you know that's what I was thinking about?"

"I just did."

"You weren't even looking at me."

"I can feel it in your body. I don't need to look at you."

"That's a little unsettling," he joked, but he actually thought it was just one more way in which he and Elizabeth were perfect together.

"Okay, what time is it? I have boatloads of work to do and if we are going to be gone all weekend and I'm not giving my day, Monday, with you, then I'm going to need to accomplish a lot today."

Henry kissed her forehead. "Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"Well, if I sort out a couple loads of laundry, do you think you could get them washed so I have clean clothes to pack?"

"Yes, and I'll make you lunch and dinner too. Oh, I have a few errands to run. Will you be working here or at the library?"

"I'll be at the library at least for the morning because I have two papers to type, but I might come back this afternoon to do the reading for a couple classes."

"How about I do my errands this afternoon so you can work here and I won't bother you?"

She turned so she could look him in the eye. "You aren't a bother. How about you do your errands this morning and then we spend the afternoon cuddling on the couch reading our own stuff? It wasn't long ago we used to do that, you know," Elizabeth smiled at him. "I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I'm just annoyed that I have all of this school work that has to be done while you are here."

Elizabeth shifted her thoughts, "Hey, how about you pick me up at the library at one and I take you out to eat. There's someone I'd like you to meet." Elizabeth thought that Phyllis would like to meet Henry and she knew she would be seeing more of her in the coming months when Henry was back in California.

"Sure babe, but if you are going to get everything done, you better get going."

"Ugh! Fine! I'm going," she huffed, but kissed him as she crawled over him to get out of bed. "You're awfully bossy," she teased.

By the time Elizabeth emerged from the bedroom, Henry had prepared her a breakfast sandwich that she could eat on the way. "Thanks sweetheart, I appreciate it. Love you." She kissed him and was gone.

Henry spent his time getting the laundry done, changing the oil in his car and washing and vacuuming it out.

He pulled into the library parking lot at 1 o'clock. He sat for just a minute deciding if he would need to go in and find Elizabeth, but just as he opened the car door, she walked out of the building. Jumping out of the car, he went around to open the car door for his wife. She kissed him. "Thanks. I got everything done that I needed to, so I can enjoy lunch."

"Great," he said shutting the door once she was inside. Once he was in the car, he put it in reverse. "Where to?"

"The diner that's close to the armory."

"There's a diner by the armory? I don't know that I've ever noticed."

"Yep, and they have the best cheeseburgers."

"How'd you find this place?" Henry's curiosity was piqued.

"Eh, it's a long story and I'm sure Phyllis will tell you anyway. She's much more animated, so I'll let you get that version."

Henry chuckled. "She sounds like a fun person."

"Oh, she is! It's right up here on the left."

"Okay, I do remember this place now, but I've never eaten here."

Getting out, Elizabeth noticed that they had missed most of the lunch crowd. There were only about four people inside. She was glad. That meant Phyllis would have more time to chat.

She jumped out of the car and met Henry at his door. She took him by the hand, half dragging him inside. He chuckled, "What's the rush?"

"You weren't the only one who spent time pining over their spouse. Phyllis has been a good friend to me while you were gone." Henry smiled and pulled her back enough to kiss her before they walked in.

Phyllis was in the back helping Johnny fill orders. Elizabeth handed Henry her purse and motioned toward some tables near the window. "You can sit wherever you want."

Turning her attention to the men sitting at a table, she asked, "Do you need a refill?"

"Please."

"What did you guys have?" She swept behind the counter and grabbed pitcher of water and tea and returned filling both of their glasses. "Need anything else?" She checked on the gentleman at the counter and refilled his glass before sitting down with Henry.

"Did you pick up a job I don't know about?"

"No. It actually bugs her when I help out, but she can use the help. She just doesn't like to accept it." Henry nodded as if he understood, but really had no idea.

A few minutes later, Phyllis came flying out of the kitchen and grabbed the pitchers, ready to refill the drinks. She stopped at the tables and look greatly confused by the full glasses sitting there. The guy pointed at Elizabeth.

A smile broke out across her face and then she frowned. "Girl, what did I tell you 'bout workin' here when you don't work here? Gonna have to put ya on my payroll, if ya keep on doin' that." Elizabeth stick her tongue out at Phyllis. "Don't you be givin' me no sass girl." Phyllis rolled her eyes. She finally landed eyes on Henry.

"Oh dear Lord in Heaven. You got your man back. 'Bout darn time!" Standing next to their table, she reached down and pulled an unsuspecting Henry to her hip for a hug. "Glad to meet ya. I been hearin' all about ya for months now."

Henry grinned. "Oh really, I'd like to know what kinds of things Elizabeth 's been telling you."

"It's kind of like the verbal version of your locker shrine," Elizabeth laughed. "Oh, let me get you a menu."

"For goodness sakes girl. Let me do my job." Phyllis reached over the counter, picked up a menu and handed it to Henry, but turned her attention to Elizabeth. "Want to change it up today?"

"Nope. You know I'm a creature of habit."

"Very much so. But throwing a salad in every once in a while wouldn't hurt ya none."

"I can eat that at home, and I do. But I can't make cheeseburgers like you do, so that's what I eat when I'm here."

"I have whatever Elizabeth's having." Henry smiled at the two women. He found the older woman endearing. In fact, he sort of thought of her as a southern version of Maggie Montgomery. I wonder if Elizabeth notices the similarities. Maybe her mother had some of the same qualities and that's why she befriends them.

Phyllis checked on the other customers before heading back into the kitchen to start their meals. The other people had paid their tabs and headed out leaving two tables that needed to be cleared off. Elizabeth stood with the intention of taking care of it for the woman when she heard Phyllis call out from the kitchen. "If I come out there and you're gone and cleared those tables, I'll wring your neck."

"I think I can take you." Elizabeth called back, flashing a silly grin at Henry, but then whispered, "I never know how she knows what I'm doing. It's creepy!"

She grabbed the big black tub from behind the counter and put the plates in, scraping them off so that they would be easier to wash later. Leaning over the counter again, she produced a towel and she wiped down the two tables, replacing the tub in its original spot. "There," she said, "Now Phyllis will have time to sit and talk with us."

Phyllis flew out of the kitchen door five minutes later carrying two plates. "Bacon double cheeseburgers and fries." She turned to the table behind her, picking up a bottle. "And ketchup," she said setting it in the middle of the table.

"Sit down for a minute and talk to us," Elizabeth urged Phyllis.

"Well, since you continually feel the need to do work around here, I guess I have a few spare minutes."

"Phyllis, this is Henry McCord. And Henry, this is Phyllis Crandle." Turning toward Phyllis, Elizabeth said, " Henry was asking how we met. I guessed that you would have a more interesting story about that, so you can tell him."

"Awww Lawd. It was a sad and pathetic site," Phyllis began.

"I'm thinking that I should've told the story," Elizabeth interrupted.

Phyllis eyed her, "Like you wasn't three shades of sad and pathetic?" Elizabeth shrugged.

"It was slow that day and I was just sittin' at the counter reading my magazine when your girlie here pulls in. I get up, thinkin' I need to act like I got important things to do and then she just sits there. I'm like 'what gives?' So anyway, I kinda half watch her. You know the kind of watching where you are really watching but pretend not to? Yeah, so I'm doin' that, and she just sits there bawlin' for like almost an hour."

"It wasn't an hour," Elizabeth interjects.

"I'm tellin' you it was an hour. Now, I can't decide if I should go out there and make sure she's ok or if I should leave it alone because she's some kind of crazy that I don't want to get messed up in."

"Understandable," Henry chimes in.

"Hey!" Elizabeth feigns disgust and kicks Henry under the table. He just smirks at her.

"I finally go out there and knock on the window. She rolls it down and when I ask, she tells me she is fine. Riiiiight. So I drag her in here and she tells me all about you and I fill her up with pie. Then she up and leaves and I don't see her for a month. But since then, she's been pretty good about comin' by, so I know she's ok. Only problem now is that she eats food like this 3 days a week." Phyllis pointed to Elizabeth's near empty plate. "Swear to God, I don't know where she puts all that food."

Henry erupted in laughter. "I know. It's one of life's great mysteries!"

"I think it may have been a bad idea to let the two of you meet." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I'm going to use the bathroom. The two of you can chat amongst yourselves and come up with ways to further torment me." They both laughed as Elizabeth stood and left the table.

When the door fell shut behind Elizabeth, Henry reached out and put his hand on Phyllis's. "Thank you," Confusion swept across her features. "For being here for Elizabeth when I can't be."

Phyllis smiled, "God's pretty good that way. Our friendship has been a blessing to me that I didn't even know I needed."

Henry chuckled, "Elizabeth always blows it off when I point out God working in her life, but I see it. Anyway, I'm glad she has someone close by."

"How long do you get to stay?" Phyllis asked.

"Yeah. That's the thing. I'd hoped I would get six weeks, I told Elizabeth probably a month, but because of the program I got into, I only get ten days. I have to be back at Camp Pendleton next Tuesday."

Phyllis wrinkled her forehead, "Wow! That sucks. How's she takin' it?"

"She's fine," Elizabeth said as she walked up next to Phyllis. "It's only for two months and then Henry will be at Quantico for about six months after that. It will be okay."

"She's cute," Phyllis said to Henry.

"Yes, very cute," he responded.

"The two of you are miserable. Don't baby me." She eyed both of them. "We need to get going. I have quite a bit of work to do and we're leaving to see Henry's family tomorrow right after my classes end. I'll check in with you next week sometime." Elizabeth reached out and gave Phyllis a hug.

Henry put a $20 under the edge of his plate. Standing, he touched Phyllis's shoulder. Leaning in, he whispered, "Feel free to baby her all you want." Phyllis grinned at him.

"It's been a pleasure Henry."

"Yes. I'm glad to meet you. I'm sure I'll see you when I get back."


	53. Chapter 53

A/N: I haven't forgotten about this story. It's just slow going and then I get inspired by a random prompt and I'm off doing something else for a day or two. I swear I have adult onset ADD. It's ridiculous! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I love reviews.

Chapter 53

It was dusk as Henry and Elizabeth pulled up to the McCord family home. Elizabeth was exhausted. She had been to all five of her classes with Henry picking her up to leave town as she walked out of her 12 o'clock class. She wasn't fully caught up on reading for her courses, so she spent the next 5 hours reading in the car. Now, she needed to gear up for fun with Maureen and Patrick.

"Hey, I forgot to ask what the sleeping arrangements are. Where do I put my things?" she asked Henry.

"Oh gosh. I didn't even think about it. I'm sure Mom has a plan though. I'll discreetly ask." Henry kissed her cheek. "Ready to get this show started?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Elizabeth opened the car door and Henry rushed to offer his hand to help her out.

"I'll get our stuff," he said. "You can go on in."

"Henry, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been avoiding this trip all week. I feel like there's something going on."

Henry sighed, " I wouldn't say anything is 'going on,' but my Dad hasn't ever been a fan of the military. He tolerated ROTC because it paid for college, but active duty is entirely different. I'm not sure how gracious I can be when he starts pointing out how dumb I am for joining up and how stupid being a pilot is. I just don't think I can take it.

"It'll be fine. If he starts in, I'll break it up. She kissed him sweetly. "I love you and I'm so very proud of who you are and what you're doing with your life. Your father doesn't have to understand it, but he needs to respect it.

"That theory works very well standing out here. Inside those walls, not as much."

"Well, I guess we just do the best we can. Come on. Hand me my backpack. I can get my suitcase tomorrow."

Just then, a car pulled up behind Henry's. Henry turned and smiled as Shane got out. "Hey Henry!" Shane called, "Good to see you brother." Henry smiled

"Good to see you too!"

Elizabeth elbowed Henry, "See, there's someone else who's got your back." Henry smiled. That was true.

"Here. Let me help," Shane said, reaching into the trunk to grab the suitcases. They went in together. Patrick was watching TV and nodded a greeting, pointing to the kitchen, indicating that MaryHelen was in there.

Setting their things down near the foot of the stairs, Shane went upstairs and Henry and Elizabeth entered the kitchen. MaryHelen was bent over looking in the refrigerator for something. "Hey mom," Henry said.

MaryHelen came flying out of the fridge, "Oh good gracious, Henry, you startled me!" She smiled, crossed the room, and hugged him fiercely. "I've missed you so much." Stepping back, she looked him over, "You look real good Henry." Turning her attention to her daughter-in-law, "Elizabeth, it's so good to see you." Sweeping her into a hug, she whispered, "Thank you for making him come to see us."

Elizabeth pulled back to look at her mother-in-law, confusion crossing her face, "I didn't-" But, MaryHelen shook her head to stop Elizabeth from finishing her sentence.

"Let's get you settled," she said, leading them from the kitchen. You'll be staying in Shane's room. I've booted him to the couch for the next few days. I'll leave it to you to sort out the bed situation. I figured the last time you stayed here, you slept on the couch, so anything else we offered would be considered luxury accommodations." MaryHelen smiled, Henry blushed and Elizabeth giggled.

From the living room, Patrick added, "and our luxury accommodations squeak, so keep that in mind." Henry blushed a deeper red, but Elizabeth thought the comment was hysterical.

"Duly noted," she laughed. "Come on Henry, let's take our things up."

About four steps up, they both heard what was likely the sound of MaryHelen slapping Patrick's arm, "Would you just stop?" The interaction furthered Elizabeth's giggle. It just annoyed Henry.

Stepping into the room, Elizabeth had managed to get the giggle under control but was still grinning ear to ear. "So what's the plan?"

Henry blew out a long breath. "That man! Uh, all I know is we aren't sleeping on my bed. You know how much it squeaks in general. I am not even dealing with the kind of ribbing we'll get for any noise that bed makes. Maybe we could sleep in Shane's bed? It squeaks but isn't as bad and it doesn't share a wall with Maureen's bed."

Elizabeth grimaced. "Can I say that I would find it weird to sleep in your brother's bed? Especially if we were to, uh, do things."

"Okay, what's your plan?"

"Hmm," Elizabeth looked around the room. "Can we just take the mattress off the frame and put it on the floor? It may be a tight fit, but I think it would work for sleeping and then we can just put it back on during the day."

Henry looked the space over. The room was small, but he was pretty sure the mattress would fit. "You, my dear, are a genius!" Henry swept her off her feet and spun her around the tiny room. She laughed uncontrollably.

"That's all I had to do for your to recognize my genius?"

"Eh, I've known it for a long time. This is just one more example. I love you so much," he said, bending down to capture her lips in his.

"When he pulled back, she said, "I love you more."

Friday was very laid back. They got to sleep in because everyone else had either work or school. They ate an early lunch and then headed out to pay a quick visit to Fr. Tony, who was happy to chat with them for half an hour between his other duties.

On the way back to the house, Elizabeth suggested stopping to see Maggie Montgomery. The older lady was delighted to see the young couple, which she proudly proclaimed she had been the one to put the idea of marriage into their heads. Otherwise they would probably still be miserably dating. Elizabeth and Henry both thought the level of her involvement was a little overstated, but they said nothing and agreed wholeheartedly.

Back in the car on the way to the McCord house, Henry commented, "Do you see the resemblance between Mrs. Montgomery and Phyllis?"

Elizabeth scrunched up her nose, "What? No. They look nothing alike."

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean physical appearance. I mean their personalities. They're both very motherly and can be a little overbearing, but it's always done in love. But they're also both good listeners and can say something that will really make you step back and think."

"Huh. Let me think on it. I guess maybe I see it a little bit."

"I don't know. That was my first thought when I met Phyllis. She's a southern version of Mrs. Montgomery."

"That's funny. Gosh, now every time I see one of them, I'll be analyzing their every move."

Pulling up in front of the house, Elizabeth gathered her purse and started to get out. Henry placed his hand on her thigh and said, "Wait a sec if you don't mind."

"Sure."

"I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you found a friend in Phyllis. She is a nice lady and I can tell that she really cares about you. It makes me feel better to know that you have someone close that you can count on if you have trouble while I'm away."

"Henry, I won't need-"

"Probably not. But if something were to happen, my parents are five hours away and Geoffrey is eight. Phyllis is ten minutes. Just promise me that if you need someone. Wait, I'm changing that. If you are ever in a situation where _I_ would think you need someone to be with you, promise me that you'll call Phyllis."

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"I know full well that you think you can tough it out, no matter what comes your way. But, you don't have to. And, it will let me rest easier these next couple of years if I know you'll be taken care of when I can't be there."

"You know I am capable-"

"Promise me Elizabeth."

She studied his gaze. It was full of love and angst, and determination. Elizabeth knew she wasn't going to sidestep this one. Henry wouldn't let her. "I promise."

"Thank you for indulging me. You are right. Probably nothing will happen, but just in case, I want to know there is a plan." Henry kissed her. "Come on. It's our night to cook."

When MaryHelen returned home, she found Henry and Elizabeth in the kitchen preparing dinner. "What are you two whipping up?" she asked.

"We are having beef stroganoff, sesame green beans and a salad." I hope I didn't use any ingredients that were meant for something else. If so, I'll go to the store in the morning to replace them."

Opening the refrigerator door, she glanced in. "I'm sure it's fine. I didn't really have a menu planned for tomorrow anyway. There will likely be a grocery store run tomorrow regardless."

Henry shooed his mom out of the kitchen so they could finish and she could rest. Elizabeth set the table and put the salad together. Half an hour later, the family sat down to dinner. Patrick led the prayer and everyone started eating. MaryHelen spoke. "Erin said to tell you she was sorry she couldn't be here. She picked up an extra shift at the store."

"Oh. Where did she start working?" Elizabeth asked. She knew Erin had been looking for a job but had been unsuccessful. Elizabeth was happy for her.

"One of the clothing shops in the mall," MaryHelen replied. She's only been there three weeks.

"Good for her," Elizabeth said.

"We've always insisted that our kids get jobs when they're old enough. Helps develop a good work ethic."

Elizabeth caught the slight immediately, but let it pass. No, she hadn't had a paying job, but she had a lot of experience volunteering in different capacities. Henry, on the other hand, couldn't let it go. "Are you implying something?" he asked.

"Only that being responsible in a job when you are young is good training for adulthood."

Elizabeth put her hand on Henry's leg and squeezed it. _Let it go, Henry_. She hoped he understood that it wasn't something to argue over. He squeezed her hand back. He knew. He just didn't like it.

Shane and Maureen were drafted for clean up detail while MaryHelen, Patrick, Henry and Elizabeth sat together in the living room. "So tell me about what your program is going to entail," MaryHelen inquired.

"Well everyone that finishes Basic Training then goes through SOI-School of Infantry. That's two months and it's at Camp Pendleton in California. Then I'll come back to Quantico for roughly six months for Basic Flight Training. Finally I'll do a couple of six week stints at a couple different bases in Florida training on the certain plane I'll be flying. After that, my training is done and I'll get my permanent duty station and I'll be up for deployment."

"How long did you sign up for?" Patrick wanted to know.

"It's a four year enlistment." Henry answered cautiously.

"That's about four years too long." Patrick grumped.

Elizabeth felt Henry tense even though she wasn't even touching him.

"Actually it works out perfectly. I have two years of undergraduate work left, then my masters will take two years. I will be completely employable and that will allow Henry the opportunity to go back to school if he wants to."

"So not getting a real job then either?"

"That's a decision that I'll make then. I may choose to just stay in the military as a career."

Elizabeth bristled a little bit. That was the direct opposite of everything they had talked about. She hoped Henry was just saying that to try and shut down the conversation with his father.

"Hmpf," Patrick grumbled.

"I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the best course of action for the two of you. It would be fun to live in different parts of the world," MaryHelen paused. "As long as they're safe." She looked a little unsettled.

"That's in the distant future and I'm more concerned about immediately," Elizabeth tried to steer MaryHelen away from worry. Elizabeth did enough of that herself for both of them. "In a couple of months, Henry will be back in Virginia and Quantico is only a couple hours from UVA, so we should all get to see him more."

"That will be lovely," MaryHelen agreed. Patrick said nothing.

Elizabeth looked at MaryHelen and Patrick. "Are there any plans for tomorrow? I still have a bit of homework to catch up on and I'm trying to figure out if it's better to do it tonight or if there will be downtime tomorrow."

MaryHelen answered. "I don't know that there is anything special. Everyone will be home for lunch, so I know lunch will be our main meal. Both Erin and Maureen have to work tomorrow night."

"Hmmm. Henry?" Elizabeth placed her hand on his leg. "Did you want to go to Mass tomorrow night or Sunday morning here or wait until we get back and go Sunday night?"

"We're going to early service Sunday morning. 8 AM," MaryHelen replied. Elizabeth inwardly cringed.. That meant she had to get up at 6 to get in and out of the bathroom before everyone else, so she wasn't in their way.

"I'm not sure. We can talk about it later." Elizabeth could tell that Henry was seething and her attempts at changing the direction of the conversation weren't very successful.

"Sure. Maybe I'll do that work right now so I won't miss anything later." Looking at Henry, she asked, " Do you think you could help quiz me for that test I need to take next week?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Henry looked a little confused, but at least he was agreeable.

"We'll be upstairs." Elizabeth stood up and pulled Henry with her.

Stepping inside the bedroom, Henry said, "I thought you finished studying and you didn't tell me you have a test next week."

"Yeah, that may have been a white lie. You needed to get out of there, so I got us out of there." Leaning against the door, she locked it. "Now, we just need to come up with some sort of stress reducing activity." Elizabeth bit her bottom lip, smiling shyly. "Do you have any ideas?"

Henry grinned at her. "I brought a book to read."

"That could work," she agreed..

Henry's smile widened," We could put the mattress on the floor."

"That's more my more speed," she said grabbing her end of the mattress.

Half an hour later, they lay tangled in the sheets. Elizabeth ran her hand along Henry's jawline. "I know it's hard."

"What's hard?" Henry asked, brushing her hair back so he could look at her.

"Dealing with your dad. He's not an easy person to love."

Henry chuckled ruefully, "That's an understatement. Henry sighed. "I worry about it a lot. About becoming like him as I get older."

Elizabeth leaned up on her elbow, her face inches from his. "You don't need to worry about it. That won't happen."

"You can't know that."

"But, I do. You have your mother's heart. And you are too aware of how your father handles things to not recognize it if you ever react the same way. That, and I'll call you out on it if you ever do."

"Please do. You're wonderful, do you know that?"

"I have my moments," she smirked. She cuddled back into his chest and they fell asleep listening to the sound of each other's breaths.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth had been awake for a long time. She could no longer just lay there while sleep eluded her. Carefully, she extricated herself from Henry's arms and slipped a sweatshirt and shorts on. She dug a book out of her backpack and headed downstairs to read, thinking she might as well be productive if she couldn't sleep.

Padding down the stairs quietly, she inhaled the smell of coffee. _Must be later than I thought._ Glancing at the clock as she walked through the living room, it read 5:02. _Not that late for a Saturday._ As Elizabeth entered the kitchen, Patrick was turning from the coffee pot. "Good morning," she said.

Patrick nodded. "You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"A few of the union guys are picking me up at 6. There's a guy. He got hurt on the job and can't work. Needs some repairs done to his house. We're going down to see what we can do. I kept waking up thinking I had overslept, so I just decided to get up."

She stepped over to fix herself a cup of coffee. "I'm sure he'll appreciate the help."

She sat down opposite Patrick. They both stared into their cups for several minutes.

"The world is going to hell." Patrick said. Elizabeth looked up. She wasn't sure if the statement was rhetorical or not. She didn't respond. He finally continued, "The Middle East is a mess and the US is getting in the middle of it."

"The Middle East has always been a mess."

"Yes, but I didn't need to be thinking about one of my own sitting his ass right in the middle of it."

 _Ah, so that's what this is about._ "Henry would say that whatever is going to happen will happen and he's just doing his part."

"Wouldn't have to worry if he would've just stayed and worked in the factory."

"Right, because people don't get hurt there. Where was it you were going today?" Patrick shot her a look. "I'm not particularly thrilled about Henry flying into warzones and I agree with you. It's coming to a head and-" Elizabeth took a deep breath, realizing it was the first time she'd said it aloud. "And Henry will likely be in the middle of it. I suppose that's where this faith thing is supposed to help us out, or so I'm told."

"Hmpf," Patrick rose from the table, turning and setting his coffee cup in the sink. He started out of the room..

Elizabeth took a deep breath and a chance, "You should tell him."

Patrick braced a hand on the doorframe. "Tell him what?"

"That you love him and are worried about him." Patrick looked at Elizabeth over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. _Or you can stick with being an ass, because that's always helpful._ "I've spent quite a few years lamenting words I didn't say when I had the chance. I hope you won't miss your opportunity, because I can tell him, but it won't mean much unless it comes from you."

A car horn honked, and Patrick walked out of the kitchen without answering his daughter-in-law.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

MaryHelen came downstairs around 7 and was startled to find Elizabeth sleeping at the kitchen table, face down in her book. "Oh heavens, child, you scared me to death!" MaryHelen exclaimed.

Raising her head and rolling her stiff neck, Elizabeth answered sleepily, "I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd go back to sleep."

"I heard voices this morning. You and Patrick?" MaryHelen asked.

"Yeah. He was up when I came down. He left a little before 6, I think."

MaryHelen dried her hands on the dish towel and paced around the kitchen aimlessly. Elizabeth could tell MaryHelen was wanting to ask her something, but either didn't know how or perhaps she didn't want the answer.

"You can ask. I'm not easily offended," Elizabeth finally offered.

"You are incredibly perceptive, do you know that?" Elizabeth shrugged. MaryHelen sat down at the table next to her. "What did you and Patrick talk about this morning?"

"He told me about the guy that they were helping today and about the ongoing political unrest in the Middle East. He hinted at his concern that Henry would end up in the middle of it and I told him that he should tell Henry all of that. He up and left." Elizabeth smiled. "Overall, I thought the conversation went well."

MaryHelen chuckled, "We'll see. Emotional availability isn't one of my husband's strongest qualities."

"That doesn't mean he isn't a good man. You just need to do a lot of reading between the lines." Elizabeth mused.

"Of course. I'm just not sure Henry can see it. The others do, but Henry and his dad have always had trouble understanding one another."

Elizabeth could definitely see MaryHelen's point of view. "Can I ask you a question?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sure," the older woman replied.

"What did you mean the other night when you thanked me for making Henry come?" The exchange had been eating at her since it happened.

MaryHelen seemed perplexed. "I meant exactly what I said. I know that you were the driving force behind this visit. If Henry had the option of spending 10 days alone with you or splitting his time with us, I think we all know which way that would've gone. Things are tense between Henry and Patrick and Maureen always falling in line with Patrick makes their relationship tenuous as well." MaryHelen looked away, wiping a stray tear that ran down her face, "Sometimes my pull isn't enough to bring him back." Taking Elizabeth's hand in hers, she continued, "But you, you making this family a priority, makes this mama very happy."

Elizabeth was having no success at containing her tears. She hugged MaryHelen and whispered, "As long as I am living, this family will always be a priority."

Henry walked into the kitchen to find both of his women in his life hugging and crying. "Did something happen?" he asked concerned.

Elizabeth and MaryHelen pulled apart and Elizabeth winked at her mother-in-law. "We were just devastated that no one had made breakfast and we _NEED_ pancakes." Wiping their tears, they both giggled and Henry groaned.

"What am I supposed to say to that?" he asked incredulously.

"That you'll make us pancakes." Elizabeth stood and walked over to him, giving him a hug and kiss. "Good morning."

Henry grinned at her. "Good morning. Seems like a good morning to make pancakes. You have to help though."

"Absolutely," Elizabeth said, heading to the refrigerator to pull out the eggs and milk.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Sunday morning rolled around. The McCords were all gathered around the table for brunch having returned home from Mass the hour before. Uncharacteristically, Henry ended up sitting at the table next to his mother. Elizabeth, on the other hand, was seated on the opposite side of the table next to Patrick. The other McCord siblings sat in between. Everyone was chatting with the people next to them. Quietly, MaryHelen placed her hand on Henry's. He looked up at her. "You make me very proud," she said softly and squeezed his hand.

Henry smiled. "Thanks mom. It means a lot to me that you think so." He squeezed her hand back. MaryHelen couldn't help but notice that Henry glanced at his father sitting at the other end of the table before taking another bite.

Elizabeth watched the exchange between Henry and MaryHelen from the opposite end of the table, and saw Henry look toward his father. Patrick, was oblivious, discussing post season baseball with Shane, as if the Pirates were ever going to amount to anything, even she knew that.

She studied Patrick. Feeling her eyes on him, he turned and met her gaze. She didn't need to say anything, he knew what she wanted. Patrick just wasn't sure he was willing, or maybe even able, to give it. "You're relentless, you know that?" he muttered as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Only when I need to be," she said softly. Pushing back from the table she stood. "I'll take your plate if you have other things that you need to attend to." Before he could answer, she picked up his empty plate and headed into the kitchen.

Half an hour later, their bags were sitting at the foot of the stairs and everyone was saying their goodbyes. Patrick put his hand on Henry's back, "Let me help you take your bags out."

Henry blinked back his surprise. His father had never offered to help him. "Uh, sure." Patrick picked up the suitcases and Henry grabbed their backpacks and odds and ends.

Walking down the front sidewalk, Patrick glanced at Henry over his shoulder and spoke, "I want you to know that I my distaste with the military doesn't have anything to do with you. I don't like the direction everything is going," Patrick paused. Henry was now beyond confused, wondering where this was going. "Uh, it looks like you'll end up over there and that's the part I don't like." Henry popped the trunk. They set the bags in. "Just be careful and come back in one piece. There's a lot of people that want you around." Patrick clapped his hand on Henry's shoulder and smiled at him. He turned and walked up the sidewalk leaving a bewildered Henry standing by the car.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked Henry for the third time since they left Pittsburgh. She had seen Patrick walk out with him and Henry been off since coming back in from in the car.

"Yeah. I just had a really bizarre conversation with my dad. I don't know what to make of it."

"What did he say?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"I think that he was trying to tell me that he was worried about where I might end up and that he cares."

"But that's good, right? Did he actually say that?" _I'm surprised that he came out and said what he was feeling._

"He didn't use those words. It was a bunch of convoluted talking, but I think that's what he meant. it's just-I don't know what to do with that. He's never talked like that before. He's never acted like I was anything more than a disappointment for not working at the steel plant with him. Maybe he's sick or something."

 _Convoluted. Now that's the Patrick that we know and love._ "I don't think that's the case. Maybe it's more that he realizes the seriousness of the situation and he needed to tell you while he had the chance."

Henry glanced over at Elizabeth. "What did you say to him?"

Looking at Henry, she hoped he wouldn't be mad. "We were talking and I told him that he needed to tell you what he told me."

"What did he tell you?"

"That he's worried about you ending up in the Middle East and that he loves you."

"He said that?"

She grinned at him. "Not in those exact words, but I'm fluent in Patrick McCord and that's what he meant."

Henry pondered his father's words. "Maybe he doesn't hate me as much as I thought.

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't hate you at all. You're just so very different from him. He doesn't know how to talk to you and some of that goes both ways. I haven't seen you make tons of effort to communicate with him either."

"Not anymore I don't. I used to try more. I really did. Just after awhile, you get tired of being the one to reach out."

"Looks like he took the first step this time."

"It does." Henry needed to mull that over for a while. He wasn't jumping up and down yet. His father's sentiment and the effort he took to make it did please him though."

Elizabeth put her hand on his leg after a while. "Are you better?"

"Yeah," Henry smirked at her. "Just surprised I suppose. And I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall."

"Hopefully that won't happen. I'm-I wanted to ask you something. It's been on my mind since you mentioned it the other night. Are you thinking about staying in the Marines and being career military?"

"It had crossed my mind if I couldn't find another job."

"We discussed this, and I thought we decided that 4 years was enough." Elizabeth could tell that her voice was getting a little higher pitched and was breathy. She tried to remain calm. "Four years works out well, but if we want children, I want you to be there for them. I don't want to have to try to wrangle raising a family on my own."

"I know babe. Honestly, it has crossed my mind, but mostly it was just something that I said to my dad in the heat of the moment. I'm not really planning on it."

"Please don't. And please don't get hung up in stereotypical roles if I work to support us while you go to school. I think both of us are well beyond that."

"I won't lie. There is a hint of that. Not that I think the husband making more money is important, but it's more that I just want to provide everything for you. Rationally, I know that's dumb but I still feel it sometimes."

"I couldn't get through life without you. You will always provide what I need." Elizabeth shifted in the seat and leaned over the armrest, kissing his cheek. "I love you Henry McCord."

Taking her hand in his, he pulled it to his lips and kissed it. "And I love you, Elizabeth McCord."

MSMSMSMSMS

"It's early babe. What are you doing?" Henry spent 2 seconds balanced between falling back into a comfortable slumber or waking to greet his wife, who was kissing his chest.

"Henry, I have an 8 o'clock class. I'm willing to give up a little sleep to spend our last hour enjoying a little recreational activity."

He stuck the thermometer in her mouth. "I've always liked recreational activity. Seems like an idea I could get behind." He kissed the top of her head, then her temple, and her cheek before moving to the spot of tender flesh her behind her ear, sucking gently.

She groaned and squirmed. "Won't mae me have a hwi wemp ." Henry laughed at her.

"Okay babe. I'll do my best. Here. It's time anyway." Pulling the thermometer from her mouth, he shifted slightly to put it back in the case. "Now, where were we?"

She ran her fingers along the nape of his neck and pulled him to her. Just as their lips touched, she said, "Right here. Always."

An hour later, they stood pressed together in the living room. "Luke is still coming to pick you up and take you to the armory?"

"Yeah, he said he'd be here around 9:30. I'll call as soon as I have a chance."

"I'll be waiting. I'll miss you." Laying her head on Henry's chest, Elizabeth willed herself not to cry. She'd thought that already having done this once, it wouldn't be as bad this time. She realized she'd been kidding herself. If anything, it was worse because she knew how bad the next few days would be. Pulling herself out of the depressing thoughts, she knew she needed to go.

:Tipping her head up to look at him, she whispered, "I need to go."

"I know." He hugged her tight. "You ready?"

"No. But I'm going anyway." They kissed one last time and she pulled away, slinging her backpack up off the coffee table and onto her shoulder.

"I love you, Elizabeth."

"I love you more," she said as she pulled the door shut. Henry stood there staring at the closed door for a minute before he exhaled. _God, please tell me that one of these days it will get easier._ He turned to get ready to leave, an idea already forming.

Luke was a few minutes early, which helped Henry considerably. When he tossed his duffle in the back of the car, he asked, "Do you think we could make a quick stop on the way?"

"Oh yeah, sure. I just need to be back on campus by 1."

"Oh, this will only take a few minutes," Henry replied.

As they were driving, Henry said, "We're going to stop by the diner that's near the armory."

"There's a diner by the armory?"

"Funny. I said the same thing. They have really good cheeseburgers. You should check it out."

Walking in, Henry found Phyllis leaning against the counter. "My, my. Don't you look handsome in your dress blues! Gettin' ready to go out again?"

"Yes. I leave in about half an hour."

"How is my girl?" Phyllis asked, obviously remembering the devastated girl that sobbed in her parking lot only a few months ago.

"A little better this time I think. She was going straight to class. I don't think you'll see her for a couple days. She'll have other things to take her mind off of it for a while. Maybe Thursday night after she's done with her classes and she has time to think. I have quite a bit more freedom this time, not like basic was. I think I'll get to call more often and have a little more down time in the evening so I can write. Oh, that brings me to this." Henry pulled two letters from his pocket. Holding up the first, he asked, "Can you give Elizabeth this? Maybe when you think she could really use it? And, this one is for her birthday, which is the 16th."

"Absolutely. I'll keep 'em close." Phyllis tucked the envelopes in her apron pocket. "Be safe Mr. Henry. I'll be keepin' tabs on your girl for ya."

"Thanks. I'm counting on it." He quickly hugged the woman and headed out the door.


	55. Chapter 55

A/N: Happy days! There will be a season 5. I admit, I was getting worried that this would be it. Thankfully, we'll have another year. Woot!

I found that I suck at writing love letters. It's really hard. I hope this is passable. Henry is so much more eloquent than my ability to write him. Reviews are appreciated. I read them all and they make me happy!

Chapter 55

Elizabeth congratulated herself on making it through the first week with minimal problems. Having a full course load and lots of work to prepare for midterm helped tremendously. However, sitting alone on Friday night, the the eve of her birthday, she started to feel the unbearable weight of missing Henry.

She entered the nearly full diner, wishing that all of these people would just go home so she could cry on Phyllis's shoulder. Instead, she stuffed her sadness back into the recesses of her mind, and jumped in to help. After a couple hours of taking orders, getting and refilling drinks and clearing tables, the rush started to subside. Phyllis was busy enough that she didn't even chastise Elizabeth for helping. Phyllis just bumped Elizabeth's hip and grinned at her as she passed.

Finally, they got ahead and started making progress on cleaning up. Elizabeth was elbow deep in soapy water finishing the last tub of plates when Phyllis came to get her. "Ya know," she said, "The good thing 'bout you always orderin' the same food is that I can just fix it." Elizabeth glanced up and saw her bacon double cheeseburger and fries sitting in the window to go out.

"Thanks," Elizabeth said, "We've got almost everything done. You'll come sit with me won't you?"

"Give me a minute to get Johnny lined out so he can go home and I'll be out."

Elizabeth was most of the way through her sandwich when Phyllis made her way out and sat down. "THAT was crazy," she said. "I don't think we've been that busy in forever. If this keeps up, I might have to hire you."

"Don't worry about it. You can pay me in cheeseburgers." Phyllis laughed, but Elizabeth just looked at her, "I'm serious. How about on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I work the dinner rush and you give me supper?"

"How 'bout I just hire you and give ya supper anyways?" Phyllis countered.

"Eh, that's just a bunch of useless paperwork. I'd only make a little over $6 per shift and my dinner costs $5.95. It's a fair barter. Waitressing for cheeseburgers."

"Girl, you are a mess! Oh, by the way, I'm glad you came by. I have something for you." Phyllis stood and went around the end of the counter and pulled a box from under the register. Handing it to Elizabeth, she said, "Happy birthday tomorrow!"

"How did you know it was my birthday?"

"I have my ways," Phyllis laughed. Elizabeth beamed at her and tore open the paper. Lifting the lid off the box, she gasped. Inside was a beautiful silver 8 x 10 picture frame with the words "Henry and Elizabeth March 18, 1989" engraved at the bottom.

"It's so pretty." She stood to hug Phyllis. "Thank you."

"I hope you like it. You mentioned a while back that you got your wedding pictures back but didn't have many frames for them, so I hope that size will work."

"It's perfect and I know exactly which picture I'm going to put in it. Thank you." Running her finger over the inscription, Elizabeth's emotions got the best of her. Tears slid down her face, "I miss him so much."

"I know baby girl. I know." Phyllis pulled her into a warm hug. When Elizabeth had mostly stopped crying, Phyllis said, "Hey, I've got something else for you."

"What?" Elizabeth asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Well, since it's not technically your birthday, I'm not sure if you should have it or not."

"Oh, good grief, I'm down to-" Elizabeth looked up at the clock, "Three hours. I think it will be fine."

"Okay then." Phyllis fished Henry's birthday letter from her apron pocket. As she handed it to her, she said, "You may want to wait to read this." As soon as Elizabeth saw the handwriting, she started ripping it open, "Or not," Phyllis finished.

She settled in the chair, mindlessly eating a, now cold, French fry, while she read. Phyllis moved away a bit, sensing that the letter would be personal. She watched Elizabeth's reactions as she went from smiling through tears, to feigned disgust to which she audibly said, "I do not snore," to laughter and even a bright blush, which made Phyllis chuckle to herself.

 _My dearest Elizabeth,_

 _Happy birthday babe! 21 years ago today, the most perfect person was born Your parents knew then and I was lucky enough to meet you nearly 2 years ago, and now I know. I wish so much I could be there to celebrate with you. Since I can't, I want you to know 21 things I love about you. Of course there are many more than 21, but I only have so much paper, and 1 reason for each year of your life seems appropriate.._

 _Your eyes. They are what drew me in and filled me with an overwhelming desire to speak to you even though I was terrified._

 _Your brain. I think you had maybe spoken two sentences when I knew you were far smarter than anyone I'd ever known before. But you always use your intelligence to build the people around you up instead of tearing them down._

 _Your kind heart. You are always looking out for the underdog._

 _Your snore. I know you think you don't snore, but you do, and I miss it so much in the middle of the night. Even in my dreams, you are tucked in next to me and your soft, breathy snore lulls me to sleep. My heart aches for you._

 _The way you fit so perfectly next to me when we sleep. One more reason I know we are meant to be together forever ._

 _The way you look in my t-shirts. Because you're just adorable and they look so much better on you than me._

 _The way you rub your temples when you're tired or stressed. It's my clue to shower you with extra love and attention._

 _Your hair. When your soft curls are splayed out across your pillow or I can bury my face in your hair and smell your lavender and vanilla scented shampoo, it makes my heart skip a beat._

 _Your legs.. The very first time I saw you asleep in my bed, it was your legs going for miles that turned me on._

 _The way you eat my fries after having finished yours, because I didn't really need them anyway._

 _How you took my family as your own, even though they are stubborn and hard to get along with. You never let me forget that they are family and worth the grief they give me._

 _Your perseverance. There is nothing that you will not achieve when you set your mind to it._

 _Your acceptance of my faith. I spent many months afraid to bring it up because I was worried that you would decide it was too much to deal with and you would leave. I should have known better. You are gracious and accepting beyond anything I could imagine and you love me as I am. I thank God everyday for you._

 _Your ability to get me to see things from another perspective. You always challenge me to take another look, to move beyond what I think I know._

 _Your hands. You have the most beautiful dainty hands, but they are so powerful. One touch from you brings me to my knees._

 _Your cooking ability, or should I say lack thereof. There are so many ways in which you are independent and stellar at everything you try. I love that I can cook for you. It is one small way that I can give myself to you and you allow me the privilege.._

 _Your book collection. I've learned so much about you from the books you own. From your stack of picture books that your mom read you when you were little to the teen romance books you read to get through some really tough times to your small collection of religious books, that I know you picked up when we first started dating, so you could learn more about what I enjoy. Each one says something about a particular time in your life and why you treasure them all._

 _Your smile brightens my days and brings me joy in ways I didn't know were possible._

 _Your strength. You have endured pain that most people can't even imagine. But you trudged through it even when you thought you couldn't go on. It gave me the chance to find you and to love you. I cannot promise that you'll never experience pain again, but I can say that no matter what happens in the future, you will never deal with it alone._

 _The way you come undone beneath me. I can't dwell on this one too much, but the look you have as pleasure washes over you, fills me with so much love for you. I just want to see it again and again._

 _You could've had anyone, but you chose me. I do believe God's hand weighed in heavily on this, and I give thanks every day and pray that I show you everyday how thankful I am that you let me love you._

 _Happy birthday babe. I am so sorry I can't be there, but know that you're never far from my thoughts. I love you now and always, Henry._

Elizabeth carefully folded the letter back up and put it in the envelope. Smiling, she slid it in her purse. She looked up at Phyllis, who was sitting at the counter waiting. "Henry gave you the letter?" Phyllis nodded. "Are there more?"

"There's one more, yes."

"Can I have it?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"I have to wait until the right time."

"When will that be?" Elizabeth was a little flustered. She wanted both letters to comfort her when she was hurting.

"It will be when I say it will be. Not how 'bout you be happy with the one you got? It was good, I could tell." Phyllis closed the subject.

"It is good, very good, but it's one of those things that when you have something good, you want more." Elizabeth tried to reason her way into getting the second letter.

"Girl, you'd think that by now you'd know I'm a stubborn ol' woman. You ain't gettin' that letter til I say you're gettin' that letter, so just drop it." Elizabeth poked her bottom lip out and gave Phyllis puppy dog eyes. "And for the love of God, quit poutin'!"

Elizabeth giggled, "I'm just teasing."

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Late Saturday afternoon, Elizabeth was sitting on the couch reading her letter for what was probably the hundredth time when there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, Elizabeth found a delivery person with a large bouquet of flowers, and a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream. "Are you Elizabeth McCord?" the lady asked.

"Yes."

"Then this is for you. The ice cream is a rather unusual request, but I tried to get it here quickly so it wouldn't melt." Handing her the flowers and ice cream, the woman seemed a little exasperated.

"Thanks. I appreciate your effort. I love ice cream!" Elizabeth smiled, hoping she conveyed her gratitude.

"You're welcome"

Elizabeth popped the ice cream in the freezer since it was a little soft and set the flowers on the counter so she could admire them. She pulled the small envelope from the middle and opened it. "All my love, Henry." With a wide smile, she stuck the card back in the bouquet.

The ringing of the phone broke Elizabeth out of her trance. She leaned over and grabbed it, "Hello," she said.

"Hi Lizzie! Happy birthday," said Will.

"No way! Are you calling me? On my actual birthday? Sound the alarm. The end of the world is near."

"That's enough. I can hang up if you want me to," Will joked.

"Of course not. I'm just teasing." she said.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Not too bad. I miss Henry. He'll be gone another 6 weeks or so, but other than that, school is going well. How are you doing?"

"Same stuff, different day. School is fine. Midterms are coming up and I'm not prepared. My only consolation is that no one else is prepared either."

"Midterms are next week for me so I've been gearing up. Being busy has helped keep my mind off being alone. That, and I managed to pick up a part-time job. I work in exchange for cheeseburgers." Elizabeth laughed.

"Really? I need a job like that. I'm glad you're doing well. I'm thinking of you and hope you have a happy birthday."

"Thanks Will. I am pleasantly surprised that you called. Love you."

"Love you too Sis. Bye."

Hanging up, Elizabeth took a minute to revel in the fact that Will had called her of his own accord on the actual day of an event. _He just might be growing up!_

Geoffrey and MaryHelen also called to wish Elizabeth a happy birthday, and she was happy they did, but she was still holding out hope that Henry could call. He'd already called earlier in the week though, so she doubted he could call again.

It was almost 10 and Elizabeth had given up, heading into the bedroom to get ready for bed. She had just stepped into the bathroom to brush her teeth when the phone rang. Rushing to get the phone, she stubbed her toe, but did manage to get it. "Hello," she said. "Ow!" She rubbed her toe as she flopped down in the chair.

"Happy birthday! Are you ok?"

"Henry! You called. I'm so happy. Now it's a good birthday day." He could tell she was smiling into the phone.

"How was your day?" he inquired.

"Well, I just tripped and stubbed my toe, but other than that it's been pretty quiet. I saw Phyllis last night and she gave me your birthday letter, which was wonderful, other than the snoring part. I don't snore!"

Henry chuckled, "Anything else?"

"The flowers you sent are beautiful and the ice cream was a fun idea. And your mom and Geoffrey called. And Will called all by himself without someone twisting his arm to do it."

"Aw babe. I know how happy that made you. Sounds like a good day. I wish I could have been there."

"I know, but let's not dwell on that. How are you doing?"

"Pretty good. It's a lot of work though and studying. I think I'm studying more now than I did for my classes," Henry chuckled. "I'm having a hard time concentrating. I'm always thinking of you curled up next to me on the couch doing our work together. I never got distracted then.'

Elizabeth burst out in laughter, "Right, that was _NEVER_ a distraction. Let's see, I distinctly remember numerous times where I begged you to let me finish the page as you were kissing all over me."

'That sounds like your distraction. I was finished with my work," Henry teased.

"I suppose," Elizabeth thought about the two of them as a couple, just a few . Suddenly she was serious. "Henry, tell me that we'll be okay when all of this is over."

"We'll be okay when this is over."

"Henry, I'm being serious. It scares me. What if in two years, or God forbid, you have long deployments and it's closer to four-what if we've changed too much? What if we've lost what we have?"

"That won't happen. I won't let it and you won't let it." Henry tried to be reassuring.

"I think you're being naive," Elizabeth remained unconvinced.

"I'm not denying that we will change over that time. I just trust that our love and commitment to that love will persevere. Perhaps it will look different, I can't say, but you can't either. We just cross that bridge when we get to it."

"I love you so much Henry."

"I know, and I love you too babe. There is nothing that I wouldn't do to make this work, no matter what happens."

"Thank you."

"I need to get going. I love you. Talk to you soon." Henry said.

"Love you too. Bye." Elizabeth hung up the phone and padded to the bedroom. She switched her own nightshirt for one of Henry's sweatshirts and curled up in their bed inhaling his scent, praying for the night to be over to she could busy her mind with other things.


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: I didn't get to proofread this chapter quite as well, so if you see anything glaring, let me know and I'll fix it. This one is a little rambling (more so than my normal rambling chapters). I hope you like it

Chapter 56

A couple weeks passed, Elizabeth checked another day off on the calendar. "Halfway," she murmured. Elizabeth was disappointed in herself. She felt like she should be getting more excited, she made it halfway, only four weeks to go. Instead, she had this feeling of dread looming over her. Flipping the calendar to November, she knew the reason. Swallowing hard, she forced her tears back and dropped the calendar page. _I've got a few weeks to prepare. No sense breaking down about it now. If Henry were here, it would be ok. But he's not and you've survived before. You'll do it again. Yes, yes I will._

Elizabeth busied herself working at the diner along with her studies. As the next weeks went by, Phyllis grew increasingly concerned about her. Elizabeth assured her everything was fine, other than she missed Henry, but Phyllis was an astute observer. She knew there was more to it. On Halloween, Phyllis was both shocked and relieved when he phone rang and Henry was on the other end.

"Thank the Lawd you called Henry. I been wrestlin' with the idea of how to get a hold of you. Ya know, I can't just go and ask the girl. She'd know I was up to somethin' and she'd shut me down 'fore I even got started."

Henry was serious. "What's going on?" He'd spoken to Elizabeth on the phone twice and both times he thought she was a little off, but it wasn't until he went to flip the calendar that he realized what was wrong. Now, he was kicking himself for not seeing that this was going to be an issue before he left.

"I can't even put my finger on it and that's what's troublin' me. Kind of quieter, maybe more drawn into herself. She's kinda like that anyways, but more so lately. She says it's just missin' you, but I can tell it's not. The girlie's got me worried, Henry."

"I know what it is. She's going to be mad that I told you. Not that I will let that stop me, but beware, we'll likely both catch hell."

"Wouldn't be the first time, probably won't be the last," Phyllis reasoned.

"Elizabeth's parents died in a car accident on November 3rd, seven years ago. Last year, she made it to the day and the days after were hard. I'm guessing this year, with me being gone, it's been a little harder for her."

"Lawd Almighty. I would think so. How did I not know about her parents? She even told me about her brother calling for her birthday and I didn't think to ask about her parents. What in the world was I thinkin'?"

"She doesn't like to talk about them, so it isn't surprising that she didn't tell you. That's how I know I'll be catching it when I talk to her next. Do you still have the 2nd letter?"

"Yeah. She tried beggin' on her birthday and I wouldn't give it to her. And I haven't seen a need since, but I'm bettin' we'll be needin' it this week."

"Can you give it to her tomorrow? I'm going to write another for Friday." Henry said, already planning that one in his head.

"How you gonna get that here in three days?" Henry could hear the wrinkle in Phyllis's forehead when she asked and it made him laugh.

"I have my ways. My friend, Luke, will bring it, hopefully Thursday afternoon."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Henry. I'll take good care of her, whether she wants me to or not."

"Thank you Phyllis. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Wednesday evening, Elizabeth walked into the diner at her usual time and wrapped an apron around her waist. Phyllis walked out of the kitchen and met her at the counter. "There you are. Good to see ya." Elizabeth barely looked up.

"Hey Phyllis. Anything special you want me to do tonight?"

"Nah, just the usual, but remind me, I have something for you before you leave." Elizabeth nodded and got back to work.

At 9 o'clock, Elizabeth sat staring at a plate of French fries, having asked Johnny not to make her a sandwich. Phyllis pulled out a chair next to Elizabeth and sat down. "How are you doin'? You seem down."

"I"m okay. Just a long week," Elizabeth said.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Phyllis prodded gently. Elizabeth shrugged. "Maybe it's time I give you something."

"I'm not hungry," Elizabeth told her.

"No, that's not what I'm talking about." Phyllis fished the letter from her apron. "I think you could use this." She slid Henry's letter across the table.

Elizabeth quietly took the letter and held it in her lap deciding if she would open it right away or save it. She knew it would contain Henry's affirmation of love. She just wasn't sure if that would make her feel better or worse at that point. Henry's absence was making the loss of her parents weigh heavier on her than ever before, at least that's how it seemed to her in that moment.

"Got any big plans for the next hour or so?" Phyllis asked, breaking the silence.

"Go home, read my letter and cry myself to sleep. You got big plans?" Elizabeth was taken back by her tone. She hadn't meant to be hateful. Phyllis seemed oblivious though.

"Great! You're gonna push that back a bit and come with me. I got someplace to be at 10."

Elizabeth finally looked up and met the woman's gaze. "Where do you have to be in the middle of the night?"

"I'm hip. I got places to be. Come on. Help me lock up." They shut off the lights and locked the doors. Out in the parking lot, Phyllis asked, "You live close to campus, right?"

"Yes. Just at the edge."

"Ok, I'll follow you home so we don't have to come back out here to get your car when we're done. I'll take you home after."

"Alright. I don't get to know where we're going?"

"Not necessary." Phyllis got in her car and waited for Elizabeth. A few minutes later, she had parked in front of the apartment and was climbing into Phyllis's car. "Got your letter?" Phyllis asked.

"It's in my purse." Phyllis gave her a thumbs up and put the car in reverse. A few blocks later they were sitting in front of St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church.

"What are we doing here?" Elizabeth was beyond confused.

"I have a prayer hour called-"

"Adoration, I know what that is. You're Catholic?"

The older woman nodded, "Cradle."

"How did I not know that?" Elizabeth said pointedly.

"I'm sure we both have things that we don't know about the other, right?" Phyllis shot attitude right back at Elizabeth, daring her to come clean about her parents, although Elizabeth didn't know that was the point.

"Probably," Elizabeth backed off. "I don't pray."

"I didn't ask you to pray. I asked you to come with me. You can sit and stare at the wall for all I care. You've got your letter, read that. Come on."

Phyllis genuflected at the end of the pew and Elizabeth followed. There was another woman in the chapel, but as soon as Phyllis and Elizabeth arrived, she gathered her things to leave. The woman smiled at Phyllis on her way out. "Same time, same place next week?"

"You betcha," Phyllis replied, grinning at the lady.

"Who is that?" Elizabeth asked after the door fell closed.

"Her name is Mary. She's here from 9-10. Then I'm here from 10-11 and George comes in at 11. That's just on Wednesday's though. Other people come in different days."

"So someone is always in here?" Elizabeth was surprised. Sure, there had been someone present the couple of times she'd been, but she had no idea that someone was always there.

"Yeah, we don't leave Jesus alone." She motioned to the large gold trophy looking thing at the front of the room, a red candle burning just to the left of it.

"What's that called again?" Elizabeth knew Henry had said it before, but she could quite place the term.

"Monstrance, and as long as the candle is lit, that means the consecrated host is present-that is Jesus."

"I remember a lot of it. I just didn't remember the word monstrance. Thanks."

Phyllis knelt and vowed her head and Elizabeth looked around. It had been several months since she'd been here, the night of the birth control debacle. It was quiet and eerily peaceful. She relaxed a bit and then remembered the letter.

Reaching into her purse, she pulled it out and stared at Henry's handwriting on the front. There was a tug on her heart just looking at it. She ran her finger under the edge of the flap pulling it away. She took the edge of the paper and slid the letter out.

 _My dearest Elizabeth,_

 _I know you need me right now. I'm so sorry I can't be there with you in person, but I can give you my words of love. My prayer is that they can tide you over until we can be together again_

 _It breaks me heart not to be able to hold you, but rest assured that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, you are never far from my thoughts. You are my first thought in the morning and my last thought before I drift off to sleep where we are always together in my dreams. Everything I see reminds me of you: the smell of your hair, the curve of your lips, the way the hem of my t-shirts hit just low enough to cover you but are just high enough to feed my imagination, the way you laugh when you're amused, how you purse your lips before making an argument that I know will decimate mine, the feel of your skin under my fingertips and how my touch gives you goosebumps. There is nothing about you that I do not love and I will spend our time apart holding these memories close, anxiously awaiting the moment when you're back in my arms and we can make more memories together._

 _Be strong and know that our separation seems long now, but will become just a blip on the radar of our many years together. I cannot wait to get back to you and hold you again. I'm counting the minutes._

 _Always remember that I pray for you each and every day, God is always with you and wants nothing more than for you to turn to Him in your time of need._

 _All of my love, Henry_

Dabbing her eyes with a tissue, she tapped Phyllis on the shoulder. When Phyllis glanced at her she asked, "Did you know what was in this letter?"

"No. I was holdin' the letter, not readin' it." Phyllis let out an exasperated sigh and turned back to her prayer.

Elizabeth stared at the letter. It had been a long time since she consciously tried to talk to God. She wasn't sure if it was the coincidence of sitting in church reading Henry's letter that said she should turn to God or the other things in her life where Henry always pointed out that God had a hand in it, but she was drawn to say something. She dropped her head, closed her eyes, and let her thoughts flow.

 _So... God, how are you? It's been a while. Of course I guess you know that. There was a long time that I hated you because I thought you were to blame for my parents' death and the years of crap that came after. I concede that that was unfair. You had nothing to do with the drunk driver. Henry says that's the point of free will. You couldn't stop the consequences of someone else's poor choice. Bad things happen. Well, that sucked for a long time. But, on the upside, it's much better now. Meeting Henry turned my life around, but I suppose you already know that. I am thankful. I really am. Henry says that's all your doing. If that's the case, I appreciate it. I'm struggling though. It will be 7 years on Friday. I thought I could handle it, but I can't. Henry isn't here to help me through it. I need help. I'm fully aware of the irony of me asking for your help when I've dismissed it so many times. Henry assures me that you just want me back in the fold, so to speak. So I'm here, asking for forgiveness, asking to be at peace with you. I don't know that I'm jumping into the organized religion boat but maybe I'm working on it. Okay, I'm so rambling. Anyway, if you could send me some help, that would be swell. Amen_

"Baby girl, you ok?" Phyllis placed her hand on Elizabeth's knee pulling her from her thoughts.

"Oh. Um, yeah. I'm alright. Has it been an hour already?"

"Yeah, George just got here."

"That was fast. Do you think we could do something before we leave?"

"What's that?"

"We need to light candles for my parents."

"Your parents?"

"They died. In car accident. It will be seven years on Friday."

"Come here baby girl." Phyllis wrapped her arms around Elizabeth as the girl sobbed in her arms. "I'm so sorry. We'll get through it." She let Elizabeth calm down and then she said, "Let's go light those candles."

Standing in front of the votives, Elizabeth lit two candles, one for each of her parents. She prayed that they were happy in heaven and could see how she and Will were turning out alright. Then she lit a third candle for Henry and prayed that he would make it home safely to her. When she was finished, she took Phyllis's hand and they walked out of the church.

Friday morning, Elizabeth had just taken a shower and was dragging herself to the kitchen to force herself to eat something when the phone rang. Picking up the receiver, she said, "Hello?"

"Hey babe. I love you." Henry's voice came through from the other end of the line.

"Henry! Oh my gosh! Why are you calling so early in the morning? She glanced at the clock. It's 4 o'clock your time."

"I know what time it is. I was just calling to let you know that I'll be thinking about you all day. Well, I think about you all day every day, but today will be special because I know today will be a difficult day for you. How are you holding up?" Henry asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"I'm making it. Phyllis gave me your second letter on Wednesday. You'll never guess where I was when I read it."

"Gosh. I'm not sure. I would have guessed the diner, but that's not unusual. Where were you?"

"The Adoration Chapel at St. Thomas Aquinas."

"Really? You're right. I probably would never have guessed that. How did you end up there?"

"Phyllis dragged me. Did you know she was Catholic? I didn't. Anyway, I read your letter and spent some time talking to God and then Phyllis and I lit candles for my parents."

"I'm so glad you got to do that. Listen, I know today will be hard, and the next few days, but I'll be home as soon as I can. I just found out that I get a whole week before I have to report to Quantico."

"I am looking forward to that. I hope it gets here soon."

"You probably need to be getting back."

"Yeah, I might have snuck out to call."

"Henry! Don't get in trouble. I need you here ASAP!"

"Got it! I love you so much. See you soon!"

"Love you too! Bye!" Elizabeth sat down in the chair. Her eyes filled with tears, but she was so very thankful that she had Henry, and now Phyllis, around to love her and help her through it.

MSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth walked through the door of the diner at 9 am. "Okay, you've got me all day. What can I do for you?"

Phyllis, dropped the dishes she was scraping off into the tub and dried her hands on her apron. She pulled Elizabeth in a warm hug. "Have you eaten yet?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I tried," she said.

"Johnny!" The man stuck his head in through the serving window. "Make baby girl some pancakes, would ya?"

"On it," he called back, ducking back into the kitchen.

"I don't think I can eat," Elizabeth told Phyllis.

"I've got lots to do today and so do you. Try to eat."

Minutes later, a stack of pancakes with a side of bacon appeared in the window. Phyllis poured Elizabeth a cup of coffee and set the plate in front of her. "You need to eat, even if ya don't want to."

Phyllis managed to come up with several projects for Elizabeth to keep her busy, which was exactly what Elizabeth wanted, something to keep her mind occupied. Toward the end of the evening, Phyllis couldn't find Elizabeth. She'd been doing dishes in the back, and then she was gone. After combing the inside, Phyllis stepped out the back door and sighed heavily when she saw Elizabeth sitting on the back step. "Lawd, girl, you can't be sneakin' off like that. You's gonna be the death of me." Phyllis sat down next to her.

Elizabeth leaned over, putting her head on Phyllis's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about it. I just got hot and then overwhelmed and I just needed out. I needed air."

"That's fine. I just got nervous when I couldn't find you. Hey, you want your next letter?"

Elizabeth pulled back and looked at the woman. "I didn't know there was another letter."

"Hand delivered yesterday afternoon. Someone must rank pretty high to get that kind of service." Phyllis grinned and nudged Elizabeth. "This is for you." Phyllis handed her the letter. "Let me know if you need me. I'll be inside."

Elizabeth tore the envelope open and stared at Henry's handwriting for a moment. She was so very thankful that she had found such a wonderful man and that he took care of her so well, even from the other side of the continent.

 _My dearest Elizabeth,_

 _There is nothing more difficult for me than seeing you in pain and me being feeling helpless to comfort you. I know that you've endured more darkness than most people and it amazes me that you continue to be so tender, kind hearted and loving through it all. I know that your parents always loved you unceasingly and even death cannot sever that bond. They are watching you from Heaven, so overjoyed by the amazing woman you have become._

 _Grief is always hard because you don't always know how it will manifest itself. Sometimes the smallest things can feel the most devastating. Let Phyllis be there for you today and know that I'm getting home to you as soon as I can. My heart breaks every time, knowing that I cannot fix it and make it better. I can only love you through it and pray for your comfort. Please know, that's what I am doing today. I will see you soon._

 _All my love, Henry_

Folding the letter and placing it back in the envelope, she did feel some peace. Things weren't okay right now, but she was surrounded by people who loved her. That would be enough to get her through.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

Tuesday afternoon, Elizabeth was rushing back home after class. Henry was due home Wednesday morning and she was going to clean before he got back. It was a joke between them that she was far more messy than Henry and she didn't want him to see how bad it had gotten, especially while she was dealing with the anniversary of her parents' death. She had looked around the apartment that morning before leaving and was actually embarrassed by how cluttered it was. Hence, the rush to get it taken care of now.

Turning the key in the door, her backpack slipped off her shoulder to the floor in the outer hallway. The door fell open as she bent over to pick up her things. Standing, she gasped at the state of the apartment. Everything was spotless, she stepped inside murmuring, "What the hell?" She dropped her backpack and and door closed behind her.

She was still taking in the room, trying to figure out what had happened when Henry's arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her to him. "Surprise," he whispered. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as she spun around to face him. Seeing Henry standing before her, Elizabeth couldn't hold back the sobs that escaped her mouth. Burying her face in his chest, she released every bit of sadness, loneliness and frustration that she had over the past two months. Henry just held her tight through it.

RATED M

Finally she calmed enough to pull her head up and look at him. "I love you and I've missed you so much." Slipping her fingers into his hair, she squeezed them into a fist and pulled him down to meet her lips. She kissed him hard, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth, dueling with his. She moaned as Henry's tongue overtook hers and he ground himself into her hip.

Pulling the hem of his shirt up over his head, it got tossed to the side. He replaced his lips on her as his fingers worked the buttons on her shirt. Impatient, she smacked his hands away and pulled it over her head and threw it. Henry unbuttoned her pants and started to slide them down her legs. "Damn tight jeans," she muttered and Henry laughed as she struggled to get them off. "That's enough out of you," she said, tugging his sweatpants and boxers, letting them fall to the ground. Henry unhooked her bra and made a move to walk them to the couch. "No baby. Take me right here." Looking down at his wife, her still tear-streaked face flushed, there was no way he could refuse.

"We're okay, right?" he asked, referring to when she would ovulate.

She caught her breath, "Today's good, tomorrow's iffy and the rest of the week is likely a no-go."

"Then I'd better not waste any time," Henry panted as he turned Elizabeth and threw her up against the wall, pinning her there with his body. She wrapped her legs around him and kissed him again.

"Oh God," she moaned as he rubbed his length through her wetness With his arm wrapped around her, he pulled back just enough to line himself up to her opening. Burying himself in her, they both shrieked in relief at being joined after such a long time. Systematically pulling back and pushing hard into her, she was slipping fast. Her fingers found her nipple and began rolling it, closing her eyes letting herself be pushed toward the edge.

Henry glanced down and seeing what she was doing, smacked her hand away, "Don't you touch what's mine," he commanded in a lowly gravelly voice. He immediately pinned her hands above her head and pounded into her and then lowered his head to suck her nipple hard. She arched into him.

"Harder," she begged, and he obliged, letting go of her hands to grab her ass pulling her into him with each thrust. She moved her hands to his shoulders and dug her fingernails into him as her legs started trembling. "Henry," she choked out before she was unable to breath, holding her breath in anticipation for the pleasure that was coming.

"I know. I'm right here." He buried his face in her neck, pushing her farther and farther. His fingers found her clit and he pressed hard, "Come for me babe." He knew her body better than she did. On command, she convulsed beneath him, waves of pleasure radiating through her. Reflexively, her muscles clamped down on Henry, sending him into orgasm, spilling his semen into her.

END OF M RATED SECTION

Giving himself a minute to catch his breath, he wrapped his arms around Elizabeth and carried her to the couch, where he sat down still joined to her. Elizabeth smiled, "Welcome home Henry." She kissed him sweetly. Looking around their apartment, she said, "I am so sorry you had to clean my mess."

He laughed, "It was pretty bad. Have you not cleaned since I left?" He teased.

"I totally cleaned like two weeks ago," she smirked. "Then maybe not after that."

He smiled, "If it means getting to spend more time with you, I'll happily clean up whatever messes you make."

"I'll hold you to that McCord." She stood up. I think we have more bonding to do in the bedroom.

"I think you're right." Henry swept her off her feet and carried her off to make love to her the rest of the day and into the night.

The next morning, Henry pulled the thermometer from her mouth. "This is one of my favorite parts of you being back," she said cuddling into his side.

"Me taking your temperature?" Henry wrinkled his forehead. "Really?"

"It's not the temperature taking specifically. It's time you spend doing something to take care of us and the small amount of time that we're guaranteed to spend just focused on each other." She tilted her head back so she could see his face. "I love this."

"I love you," he said.

She grinned and rolled off the bed, walking into the bathroom. Five minutes later she was out and picked up the folder and thermometer and headed back into the bathroom seeking better lighting. He could see her hold up the thermometer to read the temp and then write it on the chart. "Crap," she muttered, slipping the thermometer back in its case.

"Good news and bad news," she said, depositing the folder and case back in the nightstand as she climbed back in the bed on Henry's side.

"Okay."

"Good news is that you came home a day early and we had some amazing sex. Bad news is that's all we're going to get."

Henry groaned, but followed it with, "Good news is that I'm an expert at creative ways to show you I love you."

"You are." Their kisses started as sweet and slowly turned deliberate and heated. "I'm so glad you're home, and I get to have you kind of close for six months." She grinned at him before kissing him again. "Now, what's for breakfast?"

"You're not making me breakfast after I washed all of your cereal bowls?" Henry reached in and tickled her side.

Pushing him back giggling, she said, "How do you feel about cereal? That's my specialty."

Playfully pushing her back, he crawled from under the covers and slipped a pair of pants on. "I'm not eating cereal," and walked into the kitchen.

Elizabeth smirked to herself, whispering, "I know."

Days turned into weeks. Elizabeth sent him away once again. This time was easier because she and Henry saw each other a couple times month. On the weekends when he didn't have other obligations, he was allowed to come home. She also went to visit, and there was the trip to New York City for their first anniversary. They fell into a comfortable pattern. That's why Henry immediately knew that something was wrong when he stepped into their apartment on a Friday evening in early April.

Elizabeth sat with her knees tucked under her chin in the corner of the couch. He could tell she'd been crying. "Babe, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to her. She said nothing, but thrust a letter into Henry's hands. Pulling back a bit, so he could read the letter, a smile broke out across his face. "I don't understand. This is wonderful." Holding up the letter, he read, "Elizabeth McCord, it is a great pleasure to inform you, that you have been selected from over a thousand candidates, submitted by college professors all over the United States, to participate in a 12 week paid internship with the Central Intelligence Agency." Silently, he read the rest of the letter. "Ah, I see."

"Henry, it's the whole summer. You'll be in Florida and I'm supposed to be with you." Elizabeth shook her head. "I think I'm going to turn it down."

Henry stared at her in stunned dismay. "No. No, you're not, Elizabeth. I won't let you." Holding up the letter. "They picked ten people out of a thousand to get an insider's view of your dream job. Ten people, Elizabeth! If you take this opportunity, you're almost a shoo-in for the job when you graduate. You have to do it."

"But we're supposed to be together. Seeing each other every day, like a real married couple. Reconnecting. Keeping what we have. It doesn't even sound like i'd have a chance to see you at all." Tears returned, flowing down her face.

Henry pulled Elizabeth from her spot onto his lap, holding her tight until her tears subsided. Letting go, he pushed her far enough back to see her face. "I have faith in us. Do you?"

"Yeah," she sniffled.

"That instills a lot of confidence, babe.Henry raised his eyebrow at her.

"Of course, I have faith in us."

"Will you ever get this opportunity again?" Henry ducked his head down to catch her downcast eyes. "Will you?"

"No," she begrudgingly agreed.

"If you have faith in us and you know you won't ever get this chance again, you have to go for it."

"But we are more important than any job I might get."

"Yes, I agree. But we are strong and it's 3 months. We've been apart longer and we are fine. And you don't know all of the specifics. There could be a break. Maybe I'll have a long weekend and get to come see you. We will make it work. Tell me you'll accept the invitation."

"I agree under duress," she sighed. "The rational part of me knows you're right, but there's the other part of me that desperately does not want to be apart from you and knowing that I am making a conscious decision to be apart takes a lot of doing on my part."

"I know, babe." Henry tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You know, I haven't properly greeted you yet." Wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, he pulled her to him. Their lips barely brushing, "Hi," he whispered.

"Hmmm," she hummed against him as they lost themselves in each other.

May 5, 1989

Elizabeth inserted the key in the lock of her new home away from home. Henry stood behind her carrying her suitcases. Before Elizabeth could turn the key, the door swung open and a frizzy haired brunette stood in front of her. "You Elizabeth?"

"Hi. Yes. Elizabeth McCord, and you're Isabelle Green?

Isabelle nodded curtly, and eyed Henry over her shoulder, "And that's?"

"This is my husband, Henry."

The woman looked Henry up and down. "Hmm. Your bedroom is the one right there off the living room. I took the back bedroom. Is he staying?" Isabelle pointed to Henry.

"Just for tonight. He's going home tomorrow."

"Good. I'll be in my room, out of your way." With that, Isabelle turned and walked out of the room.

"Well, she seems friendly," Elizabeth muttered.

"She's probably not so bad. It's a new situation. People feel like they need to establish a pecking order. Happens all the time with the guys in the military." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "How about we get you unpacked?"

Twenty minutes later, they were done and ready to.get something to eat and pick up a few groceries. "Do you want to ask Isabelle if she would like to join us?" Henry asked.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?" she muttered. Henry nudged her with his shoulder and pointed toward Isabelle's room.

Elizabeth knocked. Isabelle answered, "Do you need something?"

"Henry and I are going to grab a bite to eat, and maybe pick up a few groceries. Do you want to come along?"

"Let me check on that. Nope!" came the voice from the other side of the door.

Elizabeth turned to Henry and mouthed "Thank God!"

They spent their last evening together in a tangled mess of limbs in silence except for the one time Henry tickled her and Elizabeth cackled loudly, then they both burst into a fit of giggles.

The next morning, Henry and Elizabeth returned from Mass and breakfast They stood pressed together in the middle of the living room saying their goodbyes. "Call when you get home," Elizabeth murmured into his chest.

"I will and I'll call when I get into Pensacola since I don't arrive on base first."

"Be careful."

He brushed the fly away hairs from her cheek. "Always. I love you."

"Love you more," she said pulling him down and kissing him. Pulling away, she groaned, "You need to go."

"I know. See you in July." Henry stepped back, but kept hold of Elizabeth's hand as he walked to the door. "One for the road?" he asked.

She grinned, "I can do that," She kissed him hotly, their tongues dueling for dominance until they had to pull away breathless. "See you in July." Henry grinned and pulled the door closed.

Elizabeth rested her head on the doorframe, both replenishing the oxygen in her body and steeling herself for the next four weeks without Henry. Isabelle leaned against the wall in the living room. "I think I might need to vomit."

Elizabeth spun around and studied her, 'You are awful!"

Isabelle replied, "Yes. Yes I am."

Elizabeth crossed the room, standing toe to toe with Isabelle. "You'll find that I make a much better friend than enemy, so don't cross me."

Isabelle let out a harsh laugh. "Rumor has it that there will only be one of the ten of us that actually gets a job offer and you can bet it will be me. I play to win."

"I don't play at all. I just take what's mine." Elizabeth stepped to the side and went into her room leaving Isabelle to ponder her new adversary.

In the beginning weeks of the internship, both Isabelle and Elizabeth were flawless. They were far more capable than the other interns, completing their tasks perfectly in record time. The pair had caught the attention of the Internship Coordinator, George Martin who passed their names up the chain to Recruitment Director, Conrad Dalton.

Dalton stood watching the group of interns work on processing low level information. He looked at Elizabeth and Isabelle with interest as they literally flew through the information. "Send those two upstairs, one at a time, I think I have a project for them."

George looked at Conrad, "Working together? This ought to be good."

A few minutes after Conrad left, George called Isabelle over and she left, giving Elizabeth the side-eye. Elizabeth did her best to ignore her, but the thought of Isabelle being pulled, potentially to do something extra or prove herself more valuable, was needling at Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth, come here please?" Stacking her work up, she approached George. "Mr. Dalton wants to see you upstairs. Third floor, room 302."

Making her way up, she found Isabelle sitting in a chair outside room 302. "Fancy meeting you here," Isabelle said. Elizabeth just raised her eyebrows and knocked on the door.

Being invited in, Elizabeth sat down. Conrad started, "Bess, this is Joe Walker. He's the head of our Middle East Desk. It is highly unusual for interns to be given any sort of classified information, but given the proficiency that you have shown, we are going to fast track your background check and pull you on board for the duration of your internship. How does that sound?" Conrad asked.

"I would be happy to help out in any way I can. Just one thing. My name's not Bess. It's Elizabeth."

"Oh, I know. My grandmother's name was Elizabeth and we all called her Bess. Force of habit. I'll try to remember, but I probably won't. Just keep correcting me if it bothers you."

Elizabeth thought to herself, He can call me whatever he wants as long as I beat out Isabelle.

"I'll get Isabelle, you explain the project," Conrad said as he opened the door to leave. Isabelle stepped into the room.

"Go ahead and have a seat Isabelle. You and Bess are going to be working together to gather information in this area here." Joe spread out the map and circled an area further explaining the goals.

Walking out of the building that afternoon, the women looked at each other. "You're good," Elizabeth said to Isabelle. "Better than I'd like to admit."

Isabelle looked Elizabeth over, "Dammit. You are too."

"Are we going to be able to pull this thing off?"

"I don't know why not. We're the best they've got." Isabelle smirked. "What's with Conrad and Joe calling you Bess?"

"It's Conrad's grandmother's nickname. I should probably be annoyed, but I kind of like it. And if Conrad finds some sort of personal connection to me, I guess that leaves you out in the cold." Elizabeth threw her hip into Isabelle and laughed.

"You're relentless."

"I told you that at the onset. I take what's mine."

"We'll just have to see."

Isabelle and Bess had called an official truce and they found that they were very much complimentary in their styles, often thinking of things the other didn't. After a particularly stressful morning, Isabelle stepped out to get them both a cup of coffee. Standing in the break room waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing the next pot, she glanced at the news. When a certain phrase ran across the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen, it caught Isabelle's attention and she immediately increased the volume.

"Shit," she breathed out and headed to find Bess, leaving the coffee sit.

When Isabelle hit the doorway, Bess popped her head up. "I sent you for coffee, can you not be trusted with the simplest of tasks?" Studying her friend, she said, What's wrong?"

Isabelle didn't have an easy way to ask the question. "Bess, where's Henry training now?"

"Meridian, Mississippi. Why?" Bess said, rising to her feet. "Why Isabelle?"

"Umm, there's been an accident. Two FA-18s collided over a rural area in Alabama. They were from the air base at Meridian."

"Oh God," Bess slumped back in the chair, her hand covering her mouth.

"You don't know anything right now, so you need to just keep calm, okay. You can't jump to conclusions. I'm going to call Joe." We work for the CIA for God sakes. Surely we can get you answers."

Isabelle picked up the phone and let Joe know the situation. He said he'd get into it and let them know. Turning back to Bess, she was in totally unfamiliar territory. Isabelle wasn't cuddly or caring and certainly not emotional, but seeing Bess stand, looking out the window with tears pouring down her face was about to cause her undoing. "Hey Bess, come on. Come and sit with me. Joe's going to let us know, okay." She tugged Bess away from the window to sit down.

"I'm going to be sick," Bess said as her eyes shifted wildly, trying to locate a trash can. Isabelle grabbed the one next to the desk and shoved it at Bess just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach into it,

"What am I going to do?" Bess closed her eyes and prayed. Dear God, please protect Henry. I need him to come back to me. Please. Please.

Bess was slumped over with her head on her knees and she couldn't even figure out how she would stand up, much less live if something happened to Henry.

A/N: I'm not usually a cliffhanger sort of person, but the length of this chapter was getting out of hand. Sorry.


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: I didn't spend as much time on this chapter. So proofreading was minimal. Let me know about glaring mistakes and I'll get them fixed. Thanks for the reviews. I love to hear everyone's thoughts.

Chapter 58

It was twenty-eight hours later. Isabelle had finally been able to drag Elizabeth home to wait there, reasoning that when Henry called, he would probably call the home number before the CIA switchboard.

Elizabeth had stayed in the same spot since arriving back at the apartment. She was sitting in the chair with the phone in her lap. The same prayer kept running through her mind. _God, let Henry come home to me. Please._ She wasn't sure how many times she'd prayed it. She figured by now, a decent estimate was at least a hundred thousand.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts and her heart dropped. Standing, she went to the door fully expecting to see Marines in dress blues coming to inform her that her husband was dead. Opening the door, it was Conrad and Joe. In a split second, relief that it wasn't the Marines switched to fear because she realized the CIA would know before the Marines could be dispatched.

Elizabeth stepped back, allowing them in. Conrad spoke, "Bess, I'm sorry to show up"

She heard nothing after "I'm sorry." Sobs that she had struggled to keep in, erupted.

"Wait! Bess stop! Henry's fine! He wasn't in the accident." Conrad grabbed her by the shoulders. "Bess, look at me. Henry's okay!"

Elizabeth's breathing was irregular and she shuddered, "R-r-really? H-H-Henry's not dead?"

"No Bess, he's fine. I pulled a few strings. Henry was granted temporary leave. He should be here in a few hours."

Elizabeth collapsed into Conrad's arms sobbing tears of relief. Isabelle stood in the hallway, thoroughly happy for Elizabeth that Henry was ok. She was also enjoying the fact that Elizabeth was blubbering all over the recruitment director for the CIA, if that didn't spell instability, she didn't know what did. "Score one for me," she mumbled under her breath.

Quieting, Elizabeth stepped back from Conrad. "I'm sorry sir. Thank you so much for finding out for me, and for getting Henry here."

"It's my pleasure Bess. Take the rest of the day and tomorrow too. I'm sure you'll need it." Making eye contact with Isabelle, Conrad said, "See you in an hour." He turned and walked out, pulling the door shut behind him.

"That sucks," Isabelle said. "I get stuck babysitting you and then you get the day off and I get to go back to work. See if I ever do anything nice again."

Elizabeth walked over and hugged her. "Thank you for everything." Isabelle stood dumbfounded for a few minutes before she turned muttering, "Guess I'm going to work."

Elizabeth quickly called the McCord house and Geoffrey to let them know that Henry was okay. Everyone was relieved and overjoyed. This time the tears shed were happy ones..

Glancing at her watch, Elizabeth was sure she had a few minutes "Isabelle, I'm running out for a minute. I'll be back shortly."

Ten minutes later she was standing in the Adoration Chapel at Our Lady Queen of Peace. She genuflected and lowered the kneeler before kneeling herself and praying. _God, thank you so much for protecting Henry. I don't know that I ever needed anything so badly in my life, and you allowed it to happen. And for the chance to see him means so much. Comfort the families of those that don't get to come home. I know that because my prayers were answered, someone else's were not._ Tears slid down her face as she thought about those families that would have Marines show up at their door to deliver the worst news imaginable. She had been on the receiving end of that kind of visit. _Please always keep him safe so he can come home to me and I never have to have one of those visits again. Oh, and thank you for Isabelle. Who ever thought I'd be thankful for her?_ Elizabeth smirked. _. And, just as an aside, if you could help Isabelle not be so… Isabelle,, that would make a lot of people happy. Amen._

Sitting back, she looked at the small chapel. It was probably a third of the size of the one in Charlottesville. But someone was sitting in the front, just like in Charlottesville. Elizabeth found that very comforting. She thought of Phyllis, which reminded Elizabeth that she needed to call her too. Rising, she genuflected as she left the pew. Looking up at the monstrance before turning to go, she smiled. _Thank you._

Elizabeth stopped by the store on the way home and picked up a meal and a bottle of wine. She was worried about how Henry would be. It was a good possibility that his friends died. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. That wasn't going to be easy, but she would be there for Henry no matter what he needed.

An hour passed, and Elizabeth was curled up in the chair, her head laying next to the phone in case Henry needed a ride from the airport. Having not slept in almost a day and a half, she was nodding off, when the soft knock came from the door. Elizabeth snapped to attention and lunged for the door. Flinging it open, Henry stepped in pulling her off the floor into a crushing hug. Cheeks pressed together, Elizabeth couldn't tell whose tears were whose. Placing her hands on either side of his head and pulled him back so she could look at him. "I love you so much. I don't know what I would've done if-" she buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

When she calmed, he tipped her head back and kissed her. "I know. I'm so sorry. They wouldn't let us call. The whole base is on lock down. I don't know what strings you pulled, but you must have some pretty powerful people in your corner to get me out of there."

Elizabeth smiled. "Conrad." Changing her train of thought, she said, "You need to call your mom. She's a mess too. I called and let them know you were ok, but she really needs to talk to you."

"Yeah, let me change first and I will." He started to pull away, but Elizabeth caught his hand causing him to turn and look at her.

"How are you?" she asked, her question asking much more than conversational platitudes.

"I'm much better now." He pulled her back to him and kissed the top of her head. "We'll talk about it later, okay?" She nodded, letting him walk to the bedroom with his bag.

Isabelle walked in from work a few hours later, finding the couple curled up on the couch together watching TV. Elizabeth spoke, not moving her head from Henry's chest, "Hey Isabelle. Leftovers are in the fridge if you want to eat."

"Thanks Bess. Henry, it's good to see you."

"It's good to be seen,"Henry responded jovially. "And thanks for taking care of my wife. She told me you didn't leave her side the whole time."

"Someone had to. She was a blubbering mess." Henry tensed as Isabelle walked into the kitchen.

Elizabeth patted him. "Really, don't mind her. If you ever make it past her super-bitch facade, she's not that bad."

"Few people make it to that point," Isabelle said, her voice coming from inside the fridge.

"It's such an elite club. I don't even know if I'm a member." Henry chuckled at Elizabeth's comment.

Looking down at her, he grinned and asked, "What's up with Bess? I thought you hated nicknames."

"Conrad has called me that since the first day. He said it had something to do with his grandma or aunt or something. Now, everyone calls me that. As annoying as it was at first, I admit, it's kind of growing on me."

"Can I call you Bess?" Henry asked, tickling her ribs. She giggled, "Absolutely not."

In the early hours of the morning, Elizabeth and Henry lay tangled together in the sheets. "This was an unexpected bonus," Henry said, pulling her naked body closer to his.

"Well, I'm glad that if you were going to possibly die, it happened at the right time of month." Her tone was biting, and Henry rolled onto his back, away from their embrace. Elizabeth backtracked, realizing that her emotions were misplaced. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair It wasn't your fault."

"I just feel guilty. For everything." Henry said, turning his head away from her.

"Were you in the air when it happened?

"No. We flew in the group before. We landed just a few minutes before it happened." Henry rolled back to face her. "I knew both pilots though. The one guy was younger than me, so we didn't have much in common. The other guy was 25. He had a wife and two little kids. His wife was his high school sweetheart, and she was living with her parents until he finished training. Then she was going to join him at his permanent duty station. Can you imagine getting that visit?" Henry was talking to himself more than to Elizabeth at that point, but she answered anyway.

"Yeah, I can, and I was scared I was going to have to do it again." she whispered.

Henry rolled back toward her. "I know. I pray everyday that never happens."

"Me too," she murmured. Looking up at him, she asked the question that had been on her mind for a while. "Why does God grant some prayers and not others? What makes some more worthwhile? Mine were granted, but you know your friend's family was praying too, and theirs were not. It's not fair."

"I honestly don't know. I don't know that anyone does. I once heard an explanation that I liked though for why bad things happen. Imagine God is an artist and the canvas he's painting is a depiction of everything that has happened since Creation. He paints each of our lives into his masterpiece. As we live our lives, we encounter times of happiness which are light and colorful. We also have times of great sadness and those are dark and dreary. Because we only see our small part of the paining, we don't have the opportunity to zoom out and see God's masterpiece as a whole. The ultimate work is breathtakingly beautiful, but sometimes our little parts are not. We have to have faith that once we get to Heaven and see the whole picture, we will understand why the dark times were necessary."

"I'll need to pray about that," Elizabeth said mid yawn as she rolled over and pulled Henry's arm around her "Right now, I'm exhausted."

Henry was still staring at Elizabeth as she drifted off to sleep. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face. Elizabeth was praying. That was new. He laughed to himself as he offered his own prayers. _God, I come to you in thanksgiving that I am safe and sound in my wife's arms right now. Please be with the families of those that died and offer them the peace and comfort that only You can give. Help me to always recognize Your gifts in my life and help me to be more deserving of them. Through the intercession of St. Monica, continue to help Elizabeth grow in her faith and reliance on You. I ask this in Your name, Amen._ Looking down on Elizabeth as she slept, his heart was near bursting. He kissed the top of her head and snuggled in next to her, his own exhaustion finally taking over.

They held hands as she walked him across the tarmac at Langley so he could catch his flight back to Meridian. Standing at the foot of the stairs, she stepped back to look at him. "You look damn good in that uniform." Elizabeth grinned wickedly at him. Rocking forward against him, she placed her hand over his heart, kissing him. "Be careful Henry McCord. I love you and I need you back."

"You'll be down in a week for the 4th of July and then it will only be a few more weeks and I'll be done with training and hopefully I'll get a few weeks before my permanent station assignment. I love you."

"Love you too. See you soon."

August 4, 1990

"It was good to get to know you," Elizabeth told Isabelle. "Congratulations on the job offer. I hope we'll meet again."

"I'm sure we will. I think they would've given you the job if they hadn't figured out that you won't graduate until next year."

"Let's be honest. You know they would have given me the job, because I'm better."

"Shut up Bess. Don't make me get all teary eyed. Get over here and hug me while I'm still in the moment." Elizabeth laughed and hugged Isabelle.

"I'll be back in May, so don't go finding a new partner before then."

"Like I want the hassle of breaking anyone else in." Isabelle laughed. Picking up the last of her things, Elizabeth left the apartment she and Isabelle shared for the last few months and headed home, where Henry would be joining her shortly.

Two days after, Elizabeth shifted her weight from one foot to the other in anticipation. Henry was arriving at the airport anytime. It had been a month since she had seen him, and she'd get him for a whole 2 weeks before he had to be at the Air Station in Beaufort, South Carolina, a lengthy 8 hour drive.

Henry's grin was a mile wide when he walked through the doorway of the airport. He was nearly tackled by Elizabeth. He laughed, holding on to her. After tenderly kissing her, he said, "Let's go home, babe."

Looking up at him, "Yes, home sounds like the best place to be."

A/N: The image of God as a painter comes roughly from the children's book _The Inquisitor's Tale_ by Adam Gidwitz


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

As Elizabeth expected, the two weeks flew by. Between visiting the McCords and Geoffrey and getting ready for classes to start for her senior year, it seemed she got virtually no time with Henry. Then there was the looming matter of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. UN forces were already deployed and Henry knew it was only a matter of time before he was sent overseas.

Overall, Elizabeth was agitated. Her conversations with Henry were short and to the point. He was growing distant and Elizabeth was clueless as to how to stop it or help him or to do whatever it was that would fix it. It was Phyllis that finally suggested to Elizabeth that she go to South Carolina over the 4 day break in October to visit Henry. "It'll do ya good to see him," Phyllis said one night over a late dinner. "Besides, you can see things when you talk to someone's face that you don't see when you're on the phone."

The next time Elizabeth talked to Henry, she mentioned it. "Do you really think that's necessary?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do Henry."

"I guess if that's what you want to do." She could almost hear him shrug through the phone.

"If you don't want to see me, the least you could do is just tell me." Tears stung her eyes. She didn't know what was happening or why he was being so dismissive.

"I don't know that it's a good idea for you to see me."

"What? Why?' The tears were falling freely now and Elizabeth couldn't quite keep her voice even.

"You need to be able to be okay without me-if something should happen."

"That's totally logical," she spat out. "Because if you get your ass blown out of the sky and they come to tell me, I'll be just fine because you were giant prick before you left. I'll be there in 10 days and you better have figured out what we need to be doing because you shutting me out is not how we handle things." Elizabeth started to set the receiver in the cradle, but pulled it back to her ear. "And one more thing, I love you, and you do not get to leave like this." Then she hung up before he could respond.

Geoffrey had been nice enough to fly her to South Carolina so she could maximize her time with Henry. She just hoped Henry would be ok with extra time with her. Elizabeth hadn't spoken to him since their argument on the phone. She had mailed her flight information and hoped that he would show up to get her. Stepping through the plane door on that Friday morning, Elizabeth smiled as she saw Henry walking toward the plane. He met her at the bottom and pulled her into a hug. "Hey babe." he said, his lips curved into a small smile.

"Hi," Elizabeth said shyly. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah, " Henry shifted uneasily.

"We can talk in a little bit. Right now, I just need to be close to you." Elizabeth leaned into Henry and they walked to the car.

Henry had a small apartment on base. When they walked in, Elizabeth made a face. "Babe, This has to be the most depressing place ever."

"I didn't see the purpose in fixing it up if I wasn't going to be here very long."

"Yeah, I get that, but surely a few homey touches wouldn't hurt."

"Maybe." Henry sat down on the couch.

Elizabeth went to the fridge. "Henry, what have you been eating? There's like nothing in here."

"Oh, I get by," he said.

"What's going on with you, Henry? You are acting so different." Elizabeth took his hand and sat down next to him. "Talk to me. I know something is going on."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. You are really struggling with something." Elizabeth dropped her head into Henry's lap. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, but you need to talk to someone."

Henry stood, dislodging Elizabeth, and paced the floor. "I can't. It's too late for that." He opened the door and started to walk out but stopped in the doorway. He just stood there for a minute. Elizabeth was unsure of what she should do. He was making her nervous. She said nothing.

Just then, Henry slammed his hand against the doorframe. "Dammit," he shouted. Elizabeth jumped. He spun around to face her. The look he saw made his skin crawl. She looked scared.

The sight of Elizabeth scared, possibly of him, broke him. He fell to his knees if front of her and sobbed into her lap. Running her fingers through his hair, she offered small words of comfort. "It will be okay, Henry. Shhh, I got you."

Finally, Henry pulled back from her. She studied his still teary eyes. She saw desperation, fear and love. "I need you," he said, his voice hoarse and raspy from crying.

In the split second he asked, Elizabeth had an internal dialogue with herself. She had been going to tell Henry they needed to wait a day or two because her temperature hadn't gone back up yet, but, she was sure she had ovulated a week ago. They should be fine, she reasoned. She held her hands out to him. "Let's go." As he took her hands and led her to the bedroom, she closed her eyes. _There is nothing I wouldn't give him to make this better._

Later, they lay pressed together, their limbs intertwined. Elizabeth's head lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and she was drawing tiny patterns on his bicep. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on?" she whispered.

Henry was silent for a long time. Elizabeth had almost fallen asleep against him when he started speaking. "It was never supposed to be like this you know." Elizabeth didn't know, but she figured that it was better just to let him talk. "When I took the ROTC scholarship I had a different plan. Graduate, go to seminary, enlist as a chaplain. I could go wherever, whenever and it wouldn't matter. Being in harm's way wasn't a big deal. It was just me." Henry sighed," And now, it's much different."

"Because of me," Elizabeth murmured.

"Yes. But I'm not saying that as a bad thing or something I regret. It's very much the opposite, but I wasn't prepared for it. Then there's the fact that I'm not a chaplain."

Elizabeth pulled her head back to look at him. "How do you mean?"

"As a chaplain, I would've been in a non-combat role. Sure, I would have been in the middle of it, but I wouldn't have been killing anyone. Now, it's a guarantee. People will die because of my actions. Or, if I'm ineffective, I will die and I can't let that happen to you."

"Oh."

"I've tried to reconcile it and I just can't." Henry scooted Elizabeth off of him and rolled to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What about the principles of a just war?" she asked. "It's a just war. Iraq invaded Kuwait and they're planning on moving into Saudi Arabia."

"Whether or not it's a sin is a nuance. It's about how I would feel knowing that I purposely killed another person."

"To protect your own life or the life of the guy next to you or the entire village of women and children that you might save by killing one of the enemy," Elizabeth was now sitting as well, challenging him to think of the ramifications of inaction. "What did the chaplain say?" Henry turned to look at her.

"I haven't been to see him."

"Why? Wouldn't he be the best person to help you think through this?" To Elizabeth, this seemed like an obvious course of action, but Henry was still hesitant. She scooted closer to him and rubbed his shoulders. "I guarantee you aren't the only person to have struggled with this. It seems like it would be something most people go through. Go talk to the chaplain, babe. Why don't we go right now? I'll go with you. I mean, I don't need to go in _with_ you, but I can be outside."

"I don't know."

Tugging on his shoulder, she whispered, "Hey. Henry, look at me." He turned slightly toward Elizabeth.

"Why the hesitancy? You're a problem solver. Identify the problem, analyze it, solve it. Why are you so reticent about this?"

Henry sighed, "I don't really know. Part of me thinks that I've studied religion and theology for four years. I should have a better handle on this. Then there's something that tells me that I won't like the answer I'm given. That I'm better off not knowing."

"Really? I have no idea what the chaplain or anyone else will tell you, but this is eating you alive. Look at how you are living. Look at how you are with the people you love. When was the last time you called your mom? Until today, you hadn't spoken to me in almost two weeks. For your own piece of mind you need to do try and help yourself."

"I don't need a lecture, Elizabeth," Henry snapped, his voice cold and hard.

Elizabeth couldn't keep her volume in check. Her voice grew louder as the frustration grew. "Then tell me what you do need, because I want to be here for you. I want to support you and love you. But if you don't want what I have to give, and you can't tell me what I need to do, then I guess I'm just out in the cold."

Henry turned and pulled away from Elizabeth. She could feel the tears building up in her eyes, but there was no way she was going to let him see her cry. It was a mixture of her own pride at not wanting to appear wounded that she couldn't make it better and that she didn't want to pile on to the guilt she knew he held.

Closing her eyes, she swallowed the thick lump that had formed in her throat. She slipped off the bed and threw her clothes on stealing one last glance at him before she walked out of the bedroom and out of the tiny apartment. Once outside, she realized that she didn't really have any place to go. She meandered around the back of the apartment complex and happened upon a small playground area that she assumed was for the children in the apartments. It was empty, presumably because most of the kids were back in school.

Elizabeth sat down on a swing that was much too low to the ground and rested her elbows on her knees letting her hands hold the immense weight of her head. _God, what am I going to do? I can't leave. I can't stay. Henry obviously doesn't want me around._ Even that thought made her sick to her stomach. _What if he really doesn't want me around, ever?_ The rational part of her brain told her that this wasn't about her, but that wasn't helping her out much when Henry had turned away from her, essentially telling her that she could go. Lost in her own thoughts, Elizabeth wasn't sure how long she sat there, but when she saw children coming up the sidewalk, bookbags in hand, she rose to leave.

She walked back to the apartment, unsure of what she would find. What she found was a note on the table that said, "I'm sorry. I'll be back." Elizabeth sat there for all of ten minutes before her nerves got the best of her and she left again. She started walking toward the set of buildings that were obviously some sort of administration. She met a family walking down the sidewalk. Stepping to the side, she asked," Do you know where the chapel is?"

"Keep going straight. It's just right inside the door in the third building on the left. You can kind of see if from here."

"Okay, thanks." As she walked, Elizabeth was surprised that there weren't more people around. It seemed like on a Friday afternoon, you would see more action on a military base. "Guess not," she muttered, as she mad the left turn and walked up the few steps to go into the building.

Stepping into the chapel, she noticed how bare it was. Simple cross hanging in the front, small, wooden, unassuming atlar and a few rows of straight backed wooden chairs with upholstered seats. Elizabeth wrinkled her nose and the plainness of it all. _Seriously God?_ Then she immediately felt some sort of shame, like she shouldn't be criticizing a house of worship. She sat in the back row. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess in her head.

 _Henry? Oh God, I can't even try to figure that out. Praying? Is what I do praying? Probably not. I'm going more with talking. Except when I thought Henry was in the crash. That was definitely praying. But, at what point did I just start talking to God. Isn't this just my same internal dialogue that I've always had? Now, I am just talking to God instead of myself. How did that come to be? Maybe because Henry talks about God all of the time, I've just internalized it. Am I really expecting God to do anything? Do I cognitively realize I'm talking to God, or am I just using the name God as I used to do with myself talking in third person. Lizzie, you are way overthinking this! Ha!, I might actually laugh at myself if this whole thing wasn't so fucked up. God, what about Henry! He's so stuck in his own head right now, he can't see a way out. We both know he's going to be deployed sooner than later and if he functions out there, like he's functioning now, he'll get himself killed. Whoa! Cannot even go there. What about this room?_ Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked around. _What in this room says God is here? Nothing. Did I become Catholic somehow and not realize it? Do I need ornateness to feel God's presence? Is it about the ornate surroundings at all? I went to plenty of churches as a kid and some were fancier than others. I still never really felt God's presence. It is about the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist like Henry and Phyllis always talk about? Do I believe that? I don't know. I feel a difference though. It's not the same here. Maybe brainwashing due to Holy Water?_ Elizabeth smirked at herself. This entire line of thought was getting out of hand. If God happened to be listening to her, He now thought she was some sort of deranged lunatic and that would pretty much end the relationship before it could begin.

She rose and left the chapel and headed back to the apartment. Perhaps Henry was back and they could just ignore the elephant in the room and pretend that everything was okay. That was very unlikely, but she felt like her ability to function through the duration of this impending deployment was going to hinge on how well they could weather this storm.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

Timidly, Elizabeth turned the doorknob of Henry's apartment. He was pacing the floor, but looking up, he immediately went to her, pulling her close. "My God! I was so worried. Where have you been? It's been," Henry looked down at his watch, "almost four hours." He was crushing her, but she said nothing, since he was obviously concerned. She was glad to know he still was concerned about her. Elizabeth had briefly wondered if they were past that point.

"I didn't know it had been that long. I came back and read your note, but I just couldn't stay here. It felt like everything was caving in on me. I walked to the chapel and hung out there for a while. I probably should've left you a note telling you I had at least been back. I'm sorry." She looked up at him. "Did you go for a walk?"

Henry released her. "No. I went into town to see the priest."

"There isn't one on base?"

"We are firmly planted in the Bible Belt. There isn't much of anything Catholic around here."

"Oh." Elizabeth didn't know what she was supposed to say at this point. She sat down on the couch, tucking her knees against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Do you want to do something tonight?"

"We can if you want to." Henry sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Elizabeth. "Are we okay?' he asked.

"I don't think so." she said, her voice betraying her stoic face. "I think you need to be okay before you worry about us being okay."

"But what if I don't get there. What if I can't get past it?"

"Then I wait until you do. If that's forever, then I guess that's forever."

"I don't want you to do that."

"Do what? Wait for you?" She studied him. "How many times have I completely broken down about my parents or been standoffish because I have weird trust issues or early in our relationship when I wanted to take things slow because I was scared? You helped me, you listened, you waited. Now you're telling me I'm not supposed to do the same thing?"

"I don't want you stuck with someone who can't love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"I'm in it for keeps. Do you remember the 'for better or worse' part of our marriage vows? This probably falls under worse, but we haven't been at it that long, so there will probably be other way worse things than this, before it's all said and done. I won't quit on you." Tears streamed down her face. "Don't quit on me. Please," she begged.

Henry looked up at Elizabeth and scooted toward her. "Come here babe." She moved toward him and he placed his hands on her waist and pulled her to straddle him. Elizabeth buried her face in the crook of his neck. "I won't quit. I can't promise how this will turn out, but I will never quit."

"Thank you," Elizabeth whispered into Henry's ear. "Do you think you could feed me? I'm starving."

Henry laughed, wiping her tears away. "I think we could get that accomplished. Come on." Pulling her up from the couch, Henry kissed Elizabeth. "Thank you for hanging in there with me."

"Always. Now what are we eating? I'm serious."

"Let's turn this weekend around. I want to dress up and we'll go somewhere nice."

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. "I didn't bring any dresses."

He pulled her back flush to him. "You're in luck. When we packed for my parents, you left your black dress in the garment bag with my dress blues. Even your heels were zipped up in the bottom of the bag."

"Well then. What are we waiting for?" Elizabeth grinned at him determined not to wallow in her feelings. Within twenty minutes, they were in the car headed to the nicest restaurant Henry had found in the town.

The place was fairly crowded but they seemed to be on the rail end of the dinner rush, so they were seated quickly. They both ordered and when the waitress left, Henry took Elizabeth's hand. "The priest today made several good points. Things I will need to think about and pray about. I will share everything with you once it's worked out in my head, okay?"

"Okay." Elizabeth squeezed his hand, thankful that Henry had at least taken a step toward working all of this out.

"How are your classes going? Have you talked to Isabelle and how's Phyllis? We haven't talked about you in a while." The couple proceeded to talk about all kinds of things much easier than they had for the last month. Although, Elizabeth was pleased that things seemed to be turning for the better, she was acutely aware of how little it took to shake their foundation, and that was highly concerning.

Henry didn't sleep much that night. He watched her sleep, wishing that he didn't have to go. That they could stay like this. That he wasn't putting his life on the line or being required to take someone else's life. But then, simultaneously, there was a part of him that felt the duty to go and do what he was trained to do. He even wanted to go-to be part of something bigger than himself. His emotions were like a rollercoaster and he couldn't see past what was right in front of him. Just when he thought he knew what he was doing, these other destructive thoughts would insert themselves into the middle of everything and it was like the bottom kept dropping out from under him.

Elizabeth snuggled into his side and Henry turned to her, throwing an arm around her middle. She sighed and Henry smiled. Even while she was sleeping, she knew he was there. It made him wonder how well she slept when he was away. She never complained, but it wouldn't surprise him if she had trouble sleeping. He knew he always slept better with Elizabeth at his side.

Turning back to his thoughts and about his conversation with the priest, Henry vowed to take the suggestions he received to heart. The biggest thing was to focus on thinking about what was in front of him instead of getting caught up in what could happen in the future. Right now, that was Elizabeth. He could do that, focus on her. The other stuff needed to be dealt with, but he could do it later. This weekend was about Elizabeth and their marriage.

He was still deep in his thoughts when the alarm went off. Reaching over, he hit it with his hand. Not wanting to pull himself away from Elizabeth, Henry felt blindly on the floor for the thermometer that Elizabeth had placed there last night. Finally finding it, he nudged Elizabeth enough that she opened her mouth and settled back on his chest. He prayed for them both and then removed the thermometer and placed it back in its case.

Looking down on his wife, Henry was filled with gratitude that she made the conscious choice to love him, and keep loving him through whatever may come. He kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him. "Good morning," she said drowsiness still dominating her features.

""Good morning, babe. I love you so much." he said sincerely.

"I know. And I love you too."

Henry scooted down so he could be eye level with her.

Gently, cupping his face with her hand, she kissed his cheek. Elizabeth rested her forehead against Henry's and let her eyes slip closed. God, thank you for bringing Henry back to me, at least for last night. I know we have work to do to keep our marriage strong. Bless us and let us have patience with each other as we make mistakes. Be with Henry and give him the strength he needs to fight his demons. Keep him safe and always bring him home to me. Please. Amen.

Without opening her eyes, she tilted her head and captured his bottom lip in hers. She felt his lips curve into a smile. Pulling back just enough to catch his gaze, she smiled. "What?" she asked.

"Oh nothing," he said, obviously amused.

"You lie," Elizabeth grinned, letting her fingernails trace down his side, tickling him. "Tell me."

Henry snatched her hands and pinned them above her head as he rolled on top of her. "It brings me joy to see you grow in your faith." Elizabeth gave him a confused look. "I know you were praying. It just makes me happy. She looked like she might protest the statement, but Henry kissed her. The kiss, long and slow, made Elizabeth dizzy and she lost all track of any thoughts she had besides the love she had for Henry.

As the kiss ended, he asked, "Do you want to go for a walk today?"

"Later," she mumbled against him, her hands roaming his back.

"Breakfast?" he questioned, placing kisses along her collarbone.

"After."

"After what?"

"After this," she smirked as she pushed him onto his back and slithered down his body, planting kisses as she went.

They sat together on the concrete pad outside of the apartment door enjoying the mid morning breeze eating their breakfast. "I must say that I'm a little dismayed that I came all the way to see you and all I get is cold cereal. I could've had that at home." she teased.

"Yes, I suppose that is true, but I feel like I do have other things to offer," he mused.

"Oh, really? Like what?"

Henry leaned in and kissed the edge of her ear and whispered, "The way you were screaming my name this morning leads me to believe my offering in a certain area is more than adequate."

Elizabeth felt herself blush as she closed her eyes and willed herself to hold her expression to a slight smile. "In that particular instance, I would hope that my offering was equally valuable."

Henry laughed, "Yes, it was. Very valuable indeed." He stood and took her cereal bowl and pulled her up. "How about we go for that walk and then stop by the store and pick up something for me to cook tonight?"

"That sounds like an excellent plan. Let me take a shower and get ready."

Elizabeth was still in the bathroom when Henry stepped into the bedroom to get his clothes out. The NFP folder was laying out open on the bed where Elizabeth had recorded her temp from that morning. He glanced at it and then went back to pick it up and study it. He was still looking at it when Elizabeth stepped out of the bathroom towel drying her hair. "I didn't realize you found that so fascinating," she grinned, but when Henry looked up at her, his facial expression didn't match.

"Your temperature hasn't gone up yet," he said.

"Yeah, I expected it to this morning, but I guess not. It's probably stress. It will be up tomorrow," she said nonchalantly.

"That was unexpectedly careless," he said, dropping the folder back on the bed.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Elizabeth tried to keep her voice even, but she knew she wasn't doing a very good job. Keep me calm. Don't engage in a fight that isn't really about you.

"You have always been the one that says you couldn't handle it and you don't want to raise a child on your own. So what the hell is this?" Henry ranted, picking the folder back up again and waving it around. "We've made love three times since you got here and you knew damned good and well that we weren't completely okay."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath, This isn't about you. Do not take the bait. "Henry," she said, opening her eyes. "Can I show you something?" She stepped over to him and picked the folder up off of the bed. "This asterisk shows the day I ovulated. It was seven days ago yesterday. Even though my temp hasn't gone up yet, the chances of me getting pregnant are slim. I am the one who has said I'm not ready and I'm not ready, not by a long shot. But let me be very clear, in that moment yesterday when said you needed me, it wouldn't have mattered if I were one hundred percent sure that I would get pregnant. We would've made love anyway, because that is what you needed from me right then. I have to believe that if I get pregnant before we are ready, then there is some divine reason that I don't need to know about, and no matter what happens, it will be fine."

Suddenly, Elizabeth looked stricken and she sat down on the end of the bed. What the hell just came out of my mouth? Elizabeth looked at Henry who appeared to be just as shocked as she was. Do I really feel that way? I knew yesterday that it wasn't likely that i was fertile, but if there had been more of a chance, would I have still given myself to Henry, knowing what the outcome would be? Absolutely, without question. Now the harder question-do I really trust that God would provide for us no matter what? That was a big leap, one that she wasn't sure if she adequately felt or not. But, when talking to Henry, she never analyzed her thoughts or sanitized her words out of fear of what he would think. Elizabeth looked back at Henry, who sat blank faced watching her.. "Whoa. That was unexpected."

"Yeah, unexpected. I'm sorry. I was trying to argue and I don't even know why. It's like anger bubbles up out of nowhere, but I'm working on it. I swear." Changing the topic, he said, "Did you really mean what you just said? That we would have slept together even if you knew you would become pregnant?"

"That part, I know for certain. It's just the rest of it that is throwing me off."

"The part about trusting that God has a plan?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's the part and that He would provide." Elizabeth rubbed her hands on her jeans. "I don't even know where that came from."

"Maybe, subconsciously, you see His hand in your life." she shot Henry a look and he shrugged. "How about we go for that walk?" When they got to the door, she slipped her hand in hiis.

Looking up at Henry, Elizabeth said, "If you believe that He will provide for me, for us, then you must also believe that He will provide for you. He will help you make the right decisions when it's time to make those decisions."

"Yeah, letting go of the reliance on yourself is the problem." Henry said as he slipped his arm around her waist. "Let's take that walk."


	61. Chapter 61

AN: This is a short chapter. Hopefully it will tide you over for a few days. We'll see if you still like me at the end of this. ;)

Thanks for the reviews. I had one just recently from a guest who questioned a few things. If you wanted to set up an account, I'd be happy to chat with you.

Chapter 61

January 1991

Elizabeth grimaced at her own thoughts. It seemed like she and Henry spent a disproportionate amount of time standing in airport hangars saying goodbye. There was October, Thanksgiving, Christmas and now. It wasn't nearly as intimate as their previous goodbyes, because they were in a room filled with other couples and families also saying goodbye.

Elizabeth promised herself that she would not cry. She had already done that several times over the past couple days and she wanted Henry's last moments with her to be happy ones. But, standing there with him now, knowing that he was leaving in a few minutes, the no crying thing was easier said than done. They stood silently clinging to each other, Henry pressing kisses to the top of her head. Elizabeth's hand was pressed to his chest, her fingertips resting on the St. Christopher medal under his shirt, her palm feeling his heartbeat. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to commit that rhythm to memory. God, bring henry home to me always. "Come home,' she said softly

"I will always show up for you," Henry said, as he threaded his fingers through her hair, Tightening his grip, he pulled her head back to look in her eyes before letting their lips meet. Henry poured nine months worth of love and passion into that kiss. His eyes burned and his cheeks grew damp, but he couldn't tell if the tears were his or hers.

When the final call was made, Henry pulled away from Elizabeth. Tears were running down her face, but she beamed at him, 'You make me very proud, Henry McCord. I love you.'

Henry blew her a kiss and mouthed, "Love you too." He fell into rank and the group filed out and boarded the plane. Elizabeth, along with most of the other family members waited until the plane took off. Then slowly they all shuffled out to their cars to make the trip home. Elizabeth hoped she could make it home in time to catch Phyllis at the diner. She thought she might like some company tonight. It was going to be a long nine months.

Crossing another day off on the calendar, Elizabeth sighed. It had been two months. She was lucky enough to be home when Henry called the night before. She had missed his two previous calls because she was in class or at the diner, but it was hard for Henry to keep up with when she would be home with the time difference. Elizabeth sensed something was wrong. Henry said everything was fine, but there was something in Henry's voice that made her know everything wasn't fine. She held onto that feeling, the one that started as an inkling, and by the end of the week had morphed into full blown anxiety.

When she sat down with Phyllis after her shift, Phyllis started with, "What's goin' on girlie?"

"Something is wrong with Henry." Elizabeth sighed. "He told me he was fine, but I can hear it in his voice. It's like this tiny change that only I can sense, but I haven't been wrong before."

"How long since you talked to him?" Phyllis asked.

"Five days," Elizabeth replied.

"You pray 'bout it?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes and slouched back in the chair. "Why not?" Phyllis raised her eyebrows and gave Elizabeth the "why are you even talkin' to me 'bout this if you ain't prayed" look.

"Because I can't do it all of the time." Phyllis just stared at Elizabeth like she'd just said the dumbest thing in the world. :"Oh, just stop, would you? Sometimes I catch myself doing it and it feels right and other times, it just feels contrived and dumb. It either just happens spontaneously when I'm thinking or it doesn't happen. I can't just pray on a whim." Phyllis tried unsuccessfully to stifle a chuckle. Elizabeth slammed the table and hopped up, pacing the floor. "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not makin' fun of you. I swear you could be the poster child for gettin' in your own damned way."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Elizabeth turned away, trying to keep away the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes.

"You are convinced that you have to hang on to what you were. People grow and change all of the time. There's a decent sized part of you that wants to put faith in somethin' bigger than yourself, to give your worries to God. It sees what Henry has and wants it. The other part of you wants to be in control so you can make yourself suffer, so you can blame yourself for everythin' bad that happened in your life. Every time you get too close to lettin' yourself off the hook, to forgivin' yourself, your controllin' side reels it back in. That's the part of you that says you can't pray. Henry may have somethin' goin' on, he may not, but I'm tellin. you what. If somethin' happens to him, there's a part of your brain that thinks you deserve to suffer and that somethin' happened because you caused it by bein' in his life, Now I'm tellin' you that ain't true. He'd tell you it ain't true. But, you, you're the one that needs to see it and do somethin' 'bout it. Let it go and give it to God."

Elizabeth spun around to face Phyllis. There was more anger in those eyes than Phyllis had seen in anyone in a long time. "You like to think you know everything, but I can tell you that you don't know shit about what I've been through and how I managed to live through it and no, I'm not jumping on the God train anytime soon. So you can fuck off." With that she grabbed her purse and stalked out the door.

Phyllis wiped her forehead with her apron and muttered to herself, "Guess I pushed a little too hard that time." Phyllis sighed and went back to wiping the tables.

Elizabeth jumped in her car and peeled out of the parking lot. Her hands were trembling and she was sobbing. She was angry. She wasn't sure that she had ever been angrier than she was right then. She couldn't even pinpoint the reason for her anger.

The loneliness and fear that she had held since Henry had left only served to fuel her anger. With no particular destination she just drove. Her speed, directly proportional to her heightened emotional state.

Focusing more on her thoughts, and less on driving, the road sign indicating the sharp curve ahead went unnoticed, until the second she knew she missed it and then it was too late.


	62. Chapter 62

A/N: I tried to get this finished yesterday and didn't quite make it. Sorry. I didn't mean to leave you hanging too long.

Chapter 62

Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes and tried to acclimate herself to her surroundings. It was pitch black and for a moment, she had no idea where she was. It took a few seconds, but she realized she was pinned inside her car. Her left wrist hurt and she couldn't move that arm at all. She could feel something thick and wet running down her back. She knew it was blood, but was unsure where it was coming from.

Elizabeth tried to lay her head back on the headrest when she winced, a stabbing pain ripping through her skull. She reached up and felt the thin piece of steel that was once the roof of the car, now a jagged piece of peeled back metal.

"Hello?" she heard a voice call. "I'm getting help." The voice sounded like it was above her and could hear the footsteps on gravel getting fainter. She was alone. Panic set in as visions of her parents filled her mind. Will told the story of standing by the roadside calling for help, their parents already dead in the car. Her breaths were getting short. Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut. She wished there was some light so she could see. The darkness was adding to her anxiety. Elizabeth tried to focus on something else other than the loneliness and the darkness.

Elizabeth tried to remember the events that lead her to this place. She didn't think she was dying, at least not yet. Her wrist was throbbing and there was no way to move it to a more comfortable position. Her thoughts kept bouncing all over the place. Phyllis. Oh God! She had yelled at Phyllis, just like she'd yelled at her parents before they left and never came home. She had done it again. She swore she wouldn't leave a situation with bad feelings. At least, if someone was going to die , it would be her. She rested her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes to the pain, both physical and emotional.

Walking through a garden. Elizabeth's breath was taken away. The lush greenery and intoxicating scent of the flowers overwhelmed her senses, stopping Elizabeth in her tracks. She stood there a long time just taking in the beauty. Feeling something brush her arm, she looked over and saw Henry. Her heart nearly burst when she saw him. He took her in his arms. "I missed you so much," she said.

"I know."

"I yelled at Phyllis and said horrible things to her." Elizabeth stated.

"I know."

"She said things. Things that made me mad, madder than I've been since-well, a long time ago." Elizabeth hung her head. "She hates me now."

"No. She doesn't." Henry placed his hand on her back.

"You weren't there."

"You and Phyllis are stronger than any argument. It doesn't matter what was said."

Elizabeth looked at Henry and felt more peace in that moment than she had the last year. "You just being here makes everything better. Can you just stay here with me?" she asked.

"I will stay as long as you need me." Henry said as he wrapped his arm around her and she melted into him.

Elizabeth's eyes fluttered open and she squeezed them shut to block out the harsh light. She groaned. "Hold on baby girl. Lemme get the lights." Elizabeth could see the room darken through her eyelids. She tried opening her eyes again.

"Thank you," Elizabeth whispered, her voice not seeming to work properly. Her eyes fell on Phyllis. She tried to move but couldn't, Her entire body was too stiff to move. "What happened?"

"Car accident," was all Phyllis said.

"Oh. Anybody hurt, or…"

"Just you," Phyllis interrupted. "You were drivin' about 30 miles an hour over the speed limit and landed yourself in a tree." Her voice was flat and even.

"Oh," Elizabeth tried to move again unsuccessfully. Wincing, she asked, "How bad is it?"

"Considerin' what the outcome should have been, it ain't bad at all. Your wrist is broke pretty bad. They did surgery and put some pins in to hold it all together. Then there's your head. You darned near got scalped. The roof of the car tore open and cut your head to the bone. It's 'bout 50 stitches I think they said. But, you're lucky it didn't cut your head off, so there's that. And just cuts and bruises besides that."

"Oh," Elizabeth said. She tried to turn her head away from Phyllis but she rolled on what she thought were probably stitches, sending a shooting pain radiating across her scalp. She turned back, closing her eyes. "What day is it?"

"Sunday. Afternoon," Phyllis replied.

"Shit" Elizabeth muttered, realizing how much time had passed. That took her back to Friday night and the events leading up to the accident. She tried to raise her right hand to brush the the strand of hair off of her face. But it was tied down. "How come?" she eyed the restraint on her wrist.

"You were flailin' around a lot so they tied you down to keep you from hurtin' yourself."

"Think you can get them to take it off?" Elizabeth said trying trying to blow the now annoying hair from her face.

"I'll see what I can do." Phyllis stood and reached up, tucking Elizabeth's stray hair behind her ear before going out to ask the nurses about removing the restraints.

The nurse came in immediately and unfastened the ties on her wrist and ankles. "How are you feeling, hun?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck."

"Well, that's close. I think it was you that hit a tree. The outcomes are typically similar. You are one lucky young lady," the older nurse said matter-of-factly. "By all accounts, you shouldn't have survived that accident, much less have the relatively minor injuries you have. I guess you have a direct line to the man upstairs." With that, she breezed out of the room, oblivious to Elizabeth's frown.

Phyllis returned a few minutes later. "They get ya fixed up?"

"Yeah. Umm, a couple things. First, I'm really sorry about the other night. What I said was out of line. Second, thank you for being here." Elizabeth wrinkled her nose before she winced at the pain. "How did you know I was here?"

Your Uncle called me. Oh, shoot, I probably shoulda mentioned that. He's here too. He just went to shower and get something' to eat. He'll be back shortly." Phyllis leaned against the bed.

"How long have you been here?" Suddenly Elizabeth was hit by the magnitude of what must have happened if Geoffrey came.

"Geoffrey called at me at 2 AM Saturday morning and we had to wait because the paramedics didn't know which hospital you would end up being transported to. So, I think it was maybe 3:30 by the time they got you out of the car and decided to bring you here. I got here at 4 and they had just pulled in with you."

"And Geoffrey?"

"He had to wait on the flight crew and he had to know where you were going to be before they left. I think they left around 5 and he was here by 6. Somethin' like that."

"We need to talk about the other night, but if it's okay with you, I'd like to wait a bit. I think the pain stuff is wearing off. My head is killing me."

"Sure baby girl and don't worry 'bout it. I'll get the nurse and see if she can't get you somethin' for the pain." A few minutes later the nurse was injecting something in the IV and Elizabeth felt herself slipping off to sleep as Phyllis hummed a hymn.

It was after dark when Elizabeth woke again. Geoffrey was sitting next to the bed and Frederick was sitting on the window ledge looking out. Geoffrey looked like he was dozing. "Psst, Frederick," she whispered. Immediately, he was at her side.

"Hey Lizzie!" Frederick whispered, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. How are you?"

Frederick chuckled. "Well the sense of humor is still in tact. That's a good thing."

"How's Geoffrey?"

"He's been good until a couple days ago. You gave him quite a scare. Well everyone really." Frederick looked down at the large wrapped up mass that was Elizabeth's arm. "You got lucky."

"So I've been told. Repeatedly." She smirked.

"Well you're probably going to hear it a lot more in the coming days. Geoffrey's pretty shaken up about it. He'll likely want to move in with you until Henry comes back. How's Henry doing anyway?"

"He says he's fine. I'm worried about him though. We'll see. I don't know what I should tell him about this. I don't want him to be distracted worrying about me." Elizabeth glanced down at her well wrapped hand. Under the bandages, she moved her fingers enough to know her rings were missing. She swallowed hard. "Any chance anyone knows where my rings are?" Frederick shook his head.

"You were already in surgery when we got here. They would have taken them off before that." Frederick said. "Maybe Phyllis knows."

"I hope so."

"Hey Lizzie!" Geoffrey said upon waking. He took her hand and kissed it. I'm glad to see you're awake. You liked to have scared me to death."

"I'm sorry. It seems I did that to a few people."

"I'm just glad you are going to be okay. By the way. Will sends his best." Elizabeth nodded.

"Any idea when they will let me out of here?" She asked.

"I think the doctor will probably let us know tomorrow during rounds. We just had the surgeon this morning say that he thought the surgery went well and you could expect a full recovery."

"That's good. I hope I get to go home tomorrow sometime. I've got class on Tuesday."

"I don't know if that will be happening or not. I think your wrist will be a little more fragile than you think."

"I've only got six weeks until graduation. I don't have the luxury of being fragile."

"We'll see," was all Geoffrey said.

When visiting hours were over, Elizabeth talked Geoffrey into going to the hotel, saying she would be fine. The nurse came in to check on her and give her some pain medicine. It took a while to kick in, giving her some time to think.

"Oh Henry," Elizabeth sighed. She closed her eyes. I wish you were here so you could make sense of this. My rings are missing. I hope Phyllis has them, because if she doesn't, then I don't know what I'll do. I know they are just things, but it's a tangible symbol of us. She sighed. What if I can't finish the semester? I'm supposed to start with the CIA after graduation and the begin my master's program in August. I have to talk to Phyllis tomorrow about what happened with her and I can't even explain it, so I have no idea how to explain it to her. Everyone keeps telling me how close to death I came and how much God must be watching out for me and that just makes me feel more guilty, especially with everything that happened Friday night. I'm so tired of everything being confusing. It would be nice if things just fit into their logical places and I could go on living my life. I know you'd be quick to tell me that's not how it works, but it would sure be easier if it did. I love you so much. I hope things are going okay and that you aren't lying to me about it. I know that you would only be trying to spare me worry, but not knowing is so much worse than knowing. I love you so much. Pray for me to get through this. Please. Exhaustion overcoming her, Elizabeth fell asleep.

The doctor came in to do round the next morning. "We are switching you to an oral pain medication so we can get you out of here. The nurse will be coming in in a few minutes to get you out of bed." Elizabeth nodded.

After being up and walking the hallway, the nurse put Elizabeth back to bed. Elizabeth lay with closed eyes and clenched teeth for a long time waiting for the pain to subside. It had been much more exhausting than she could have imagined. She was just about to drift off when there was a soft knock at the door. A woman about Elizabeth's age peeked her head in. "Hi, Miss McCord? My name is Meredith Smith. Is it okay if I come in for a minute?"

"Sure." Elizabeth looked at her. She was pretty and wore a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. She was definitely not a hospital employee.

"Hi. It's nice to see you looking so well."

Elizabeth let out a small laugh, the pain finally subsiding enough to allow that. "That's doubtful."

"I was on the fire crew that worked your accident Friday night. Believe me, you look great." Elizabeth thought she should respond, but didn't really know what to say, so she remained quiet. "I sat with you while they worked to get you out of the car. I have something of yours. I slipped these in my pocket and it was such a fast turn around once we were able to get you loaded up that I forgot to give them to the paramedics. Anyway, I knew you would want them back as soon as possible." She pulled something from her pocket and placed it in Elizabeth's hand.

"My rings!" Elizabeth cried as soon as they touched her hand. "Thank you so much." Elizabeth couldn't stop the tears that escaped as she slipped her right index finger through them and brought them to her lips, kissing them.

"Is Henry here by chance?" Meredith asked. Elizabeth looked puzzled. "You just talked about him so much, that I thought I might get the chance to meet him." She grinned shyly.

"He's deployed and in Iraq right now," Elizabeth said with downcast eyes. "How did you know about Henry?"

"I sat with you for over four hours. You talked about all kinds of stuff, but a lot about Henry."

Elizabeth blushed, not having any idea what she might have said. "Thank you so much. I can't tell you what his means to me."

"I need to get going, but I'm glad you are doing okay. Good luck to you."

"Thanks. And thanks for staying with me. I don't remember much, but I know having someone there was comforting."

Meredith smiled, "My pleasure. I'm glad it worked out. It was touch and go for a while." She pulled the door open, but turned back and looked back at Elizabeth. "Don't give up on knowing God. Building a relationship takes time." Then she was gone.


	63. Chapter 63

AN: Hi all! Here is the latest installment. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated!

Chapter 63

It was Wednesday afternoon when Geoffrey pushed the door open for Elizabeth as she entered her home for the first time since the Friday before. MaryHelen jumped up from the couch and welcomed them. "Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?" she asked, having no idea MaryHelen was coming. She leaned over and gave her mother-in-law a hug.

"I was jealous of Geoffrey having all of this quality time with you so I decided to come and hang out a while."

Elizabeth furrowed her brow, looking at Geoffrey, "Is this why you suddenly decided that you would go ahead and go home?"

He grinned at her. "Perhaps knowing that someone would be around if you needed anything persuaded me to change my mind."

"You know how I love being handled," she eyed both of them.

"Yes, and that's why we do it behind your back most of the time." Geoffrey said and MaryHelen laughed.

She said, "It's not really like that. But, you've just been through a major surgery and for a few weeks, your mobility will be limited. Humor your family and let us look out for you. Just for a little while."

"You put that out there as if I have a choice," Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "but I do appreciate the sentiment." She looked at MaryHelen, "Does Henry know about the accident?"

"No, the last time I spoke to him was Friday evening and he said he tried to call you and you weren't home." Elizabeth looked over at the answering machine and counted four flashes of the red light. There is no way she would willingly miss four calls from him. She knew she would have to provide an explanation.

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt overwhelmed and tired. She looked over at Geoffrey and moved close to him. "Thank you for everything. It means a lot to me that you dropped everything to come and take care of me."

Geoffrey kissed her cheek and hugged her good side. "I didn't think twice about it. I'm just glad you are ok. I love you Lizzie."

"I love you too Uncle Geoffrey. Hopefully I'll see you at Graduation."

"I wouldn't miss it. Take care." Turning his attention to MaryHelen, Geoffrey said, "Good to see you MaryHelen. Take care of our girl, will you?"

This earned an exasperated sigh from Elizabeth, but MaryHelen replied, "I most certainly will, whether she likes it or not." Geoffrey pulled the door shut and MaryHelen turned to Elizabeth. "Come here," she said pulling Elizabeth into a hug. "That was scary, but it could've been so much worse, so praise the Lord for that. What do you want to do?"

"Well, what I want to do and what I'm going to get to do might be two very different things."

MaryHelen looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I really want to take a shower and wash my hair, but I can't get my arm wet, so I don't know how I'm going to get that done." Elizabeth looked down at her arm still casted.

"When there's a will, there's a way. You just can't get it wet, right?" MaryHelen tapped her finger on her lips as she thought.

"Correct. Maybe a trash bag and some tape?"

"I think we can work with that. What about your stitches?"

"Getting then wet is fine as long as I don't let them stay wet. How am I going to get that accomplished?" Elizabeth wrinkled her nose.

"Suggestion. I wash your hair in the kitchen sink. Then we waterproof your arm and you shower."

Elizabeth stood in the middle of the living room desperately trying to come up with a way to get the same thing done on her own.

MaryHelen watched Elizabeth knowing how hard it was for her to be dependent on others. "It wouldn't kill you to accept help sometimes."

"It might, you never know." She smirked and MaryHelen laughed.

"It's a chance I'm willing to take," MaryHelen said.

"Okay, physically swallowing my pride." She swallowed hard for effect. "Would you please help me wash my hair?"

"Eh, I don't think so," MaryHelen said nonchalantly, then laughed. "Get over here. Let's decide how we're going to do this."

Twenty minutes later, MaryHelen helped Elizabeth to a sitting position, the towel wrapped around her freshly washed hair. "I seriously feel like a new person. Thank you." Elizabeth placed her hand on MaryHelen's arm.

"No big deal. Where are the trash bags? And some kind of tape?"

After only a couple tries, MaryHelen had fashioned what they both hoped would be a somewhat waterproof wrap for her casted arm.

Elizabeth took a pain pill and then turned on the water to warm up. Shrugging her shirt off her shoulders and slipping out of the sweatpants she was wearing, she gasped at her reflection. A two inch wide seat belt bruise that crossed her body from her left shoulder to below her ribs. There was a nasty looking bruise on her left side perhaps from crashing into the car door. Her hips and legs were also mottled with miscellaneous scrapes and bruises. "No wonder I hurt so damn bad," she muttered. She stepped into the warm stream of water and let it beat down on her. She tried to keep her arm elevated so water didn't run down into the cast. One handed, she soaped as best she could and then just stood and let the water pelt her skin. Finally, she turned off the water and grabbed the towel, thankful that at least her dominant hand was the functional one.

Elizabeth managed to dry off pretty well and wrapped the towel around herself. She stepped into the bedroom and called for MaryHelen. "Can you cut this off and then I think I can get dressed?"

"Absolutely and you have company."

Elizabeth looked alarmed, "Who?"

"Older lady, gray hair, quite animated." MaryHelen reported.

"Ah," Elizabeth turned and yelled out into the living room, "Phyllis, is that you?"

"Yeah, you're takin' all day. I swear girl, it's like you was in some kind of accident or somethin.'"

Looking at MaryHelen, Elizabeth said, "Thank goodness, no bra needed."

"Give me a minute. I'm a little slow moving." She shouted into the other room. Turning to MaryHelen, she said, "Thanks. I think I got it from here. Phyllis is harmless although she would like you to believe otherwise."

Elizabeth pulled on one of Henry's much too big sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants. She headed out of the bedroom and saw Phyllis and MaryHelen sitting at the bar talking over a cup of coffee. "This looks like a whole lot of trouble for me, the two of you being chummy like this."

"Probably," Phyllis agreed as she took another drink of coffee.

"Definitely," MaryHelen said, and both women laughed. "If it's alright with the two of you, I'm going to run to the store and pick up some groceries for the next few days "

"Sounds good. There's some money in my purse. I'll g-" Elizabeth stopped short. "My purse was in the car. I wonder what happened to it."

"We can call in the morning and see what we need to do about getting your belongings out, and you need to call the insurance company too," MaryHelen said, "And I wasn't going to let you pay anyway." She waved to the two women as she walked out the door.

"How are you doin' baby girl?" Phyllis crooned as she pulled Elizabeth into a light hug.

"Sore, but not terrible. I'm fine." Elizabeth pulled away from her and sat down on the couch. Phyllis followed.

"You're fine?" Phyllis eyed her suspiciously. "You think somethin' is goin' on with your man who's halfway 'round the world, we had one hell of a fight, you go out and 'bout damned near get yourself killed, everybody is tellin' you 'bout how close you must be with God that he saved your ass, you're missin' classes, which I know is drivin' you crazy and you're plottin' how you are goin' to go tomorrow when the half hour drive home near done you in, but you're fine. Right."

"Could you ever just cut me a little slack?"

"That's not really my thing."

"No, your thing is to ride my ass and drive me crazy." Elizabeth ran her good hand through her hair and let out an exasperated breath.

"I can see how it looks like that to you, but that's not really the point." Phyllis drew her gaze and wouldn't back down.

"Then what is it, really? I'd like to know." Elizabeth countered, ignoring the throbbing pain in both her head and her wrist. Phyllis stood and turned away from Elizabeth. Elizabeth watched the older woman with curiosity. Phyllis had never shown even a moment of weakness, and yet, that's exactly what Elizabeth felt was happening now. "Why are you pushing me so hard?"

Without moving, Phyllis replied, "Marriage is hard and sometimes bad things happen and you need somethin' to fall back on, somethin' stronger than yourself. Somethin' to live for and believe in. If you don't, you just wither up inside yourself and one day you find that there just ain't reason enough to keep livin.'

"I get the feeling we're no longer just talking about me." Elizabeth commented.

"God put us together to help us both. And I'm gonna be doin' my part for His plan"

"And what's my part in this grand plan?"

"You have to believe." Phyllis's tone was insistent.

"I don't not believe." Elizabeth said.

"Not not believing doesn't provide much solace in times of crisis."

"Well trying to believe was a giant shitshow when my parents died."

"Which is making it nearly impossible now.

"You never answered my other question. Who are we talking about here besides me?"

"My daughter, Elizabeth." Phyllis mumbled, finally sitting in the chair opposite Elizabeth's seat.

"You don't ever call me-wait-your daughter's name is Elizabeth."

"She died 22 years ago, along with her son Anthony."

"Oh God, Phyllis, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had a child."

"When you failed as badly as I did, you don't talk 'bout it much." Phyllis said, a deep sadness in her voice.

"Is that why you never call me by name?" Phyllis nodded slightly and let her head drop. "What happened?"

"The short story is that Elizabeth married the love of her life and he was killed in a construction accident a couple years after they married. She didn't have a support system and I was too far away to know how bad it was. She was pregnant when he died and she had the baby two months later. I thought the baby was helping to pull her out of her despair, but that wasn't the case. When Anthony was six months old, she killed him and then took her own life."

Elizabeth moved to the arm of the chair and wrapped her good arm around Phyllis. "I can't imagine how hard that is for you."

"I screwed up as her mom. Her whole life, I figured that she grew up with the faith, that she would make it her own when she was ready. And ya know what, she couldn't ever do it by herself. When Tony died, she didn't have her faith to draw on. I never made sure she believed. I never pushed. I just thought it would happen, and it didn't. She couldn't cope with the grief. She couldn't lean on anyone. So she thought the best way was to just end it all and take little Anthony with her." Phyllis sobbed into Elizabeth's shoulder.

"So, you're going to make sure that doesn't happen to me. It's your opportunity to make amends."

"Sort of. It's like God dropped you in my lap and said, 'Here, look after this one for me.'"

Slipping down on her knees in front of Phyllis, Elizabeth said, "You can't make someone believe something by willing it. You understand that, right? I appreciate your efforts, but only I can do that.

"But do you know how close you are? It wouldn't take much." Phyllis was almost pleading.

"I don't think that way. I'm entirely too methodical for that. I can't just say, 'now I'm going to buy into the God thing' and have it be. I spent a lot of years adamantly opposed to God, thinking He screwed me over, and to be honest, there are still times I still catch myself thinking that."

"But that's not true," Phyllis interjected.

"That holds a lot of weight coming from the person who's trying to redeem herself by redeeming me." Elizabeth countered.

Phyllis sighed, "But it ain't 'cause I think God screwed me over. It's 'cause I feel like I wasn't doin' my job. If I was doin' what a parent should be doin,' that might have helped. What keeps me up most at night is thinkin' how lonely she was, thinkin' she had no one to turn to." Phyllis drifted off, lost in her thoughts.

Elizabeth was lost in her own thoughts as well. She spent a lot of years in that hole of loneliness and there were many times she was desperate, desperate enough to contemplate killing herself. It wasn't something she liked to admit, but she probably couldn't begin to count the number of times that she seriously thought about it. _What keeps some people from taking that step and others not?_ She knew that early on, it was Otto that kept her going. Later, though, she wondered. She didn't have that constant support in boarding school. :Maybe knowing that Will would be alone? She was unsure. She hadn't had those thoughts in quite a long time. Navigating the dark times and loneliness in general had become easier as she and Henry grew closer. She had always attributed it to Henry, but looking at it now, she wondered how much of it was her fledgling belief in God, which she knew was being systematically cultivated by Henry, and now by Phyllis. She chuckled inwardly at their drastically different approaches. Henry liked to just throw ideas out there, never requiring anything of her, just waiting her out. It might take 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months to have a conversation about something trivial he'd said in passing. Most of the time, she had long enough to acclimate herself to the idea, whatever it was, and Henry's explanation only served as confirmation. Of course, there were times that she just disagreed and Henry let her be.

Phyllis, on the other hand, was like a bull in a China shop. She used sarcasm and chastisement as her main teaching methods. Although, as much as Elizabeth wanted to dismiss her, she would often find herself thinking about something Phyllis had said and on several occasions came around to her way of thinking, or at least understanding her perspective.

She thought the Elizabeth of two years ago probably wouldn't recognize the Elizabeth of today, at least in matters of faith and religious practice. The old Elizabeth was extremely uncomfortable even mentioning God. She thought back to when Henry first brought it up back when they'd been dating about six months. She had fled the scene, frightened at the prospect. Of course all of the seemed like so long ago. Elizabeth had no problems attending Mass and often went with Phyllis now that Henry was in Iraq. Admittedly, during Mass, there was a certain amount of peace and some other feeling she experienced, maybe reverence, she decided.

She now knew all of the words to the various prayers, memorized by hearing them repeatedly over the past couple years, although she never said them aloud, they ran through her thoughts seamlessly as though she were a full participant. She had scoffed at the idea of rote memorization of prayer after her first Mass, but now she totally got it. There was a certain amount of comfort in praying the same prayers people have been saying for thousands of years, knowing what was coming, knowing the meaning behind everything that was being done, the same way it was done by early Christians.

Stepping back and looking at it, she could understand Phyllis's assertion that she was "so close." To an outsider, she probably looked the part of a Catholic, but Elizabeth felt like she was missing an important piece-the personal one. And that was the part that she wasn't giving into any time soon.

Elizabeth leaned forward and laid her head on Phyllis's lap and let her run her fingers absentmindedly through Elizabeth's hair, relaxing her enough to drift off to sleep.


	64. Chapter 64

A/N: **Trigger warning** -detailed description of a wrecked car If this might bother you, stop reading after the Henry part, and then just read the last paragraph.

I also remembered the guest comment from a few chapters ago that I wanted to message. I promise, no offense taken, I just wanted to hear your ideas. Totally cool if you aren't interested. I have the same name on Tumblr too if you ever wanted to though.

Happy reading!

Chapter 64

It was the phone that roused Elizabeth from her spot on the floor in front of Phyllis. She struggled to lean over and grab the phone quick enough that the answering machine didn't kick on. Answering, she thought it might be Geoffrey letting her know that he made it back safely.

"Hello?"

"Thank God!" Henry said. "I've called four times and keep missing you. I was getting worried."

"I'm so sorry Henry. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I know, but if you didn't pick up this time, I was going to call Geoffrey and see if something was wrong."

"Well, good thing you didn't do that because you would have really lost it when you got no answer there either."

"Did something happen to Geoffrey? Is he alright?"

"No, he came down to see me. I'm okay, so stay calm, but I was in a car accident."

"Oh my God Elizabeth! Why didn't you have someone contact me? What happened? You're sure you're alright? Were you hurt? Was anyone else hurt?" Elizabeth could tell that Henry was panicking.

"It was just me thankfully. But, I'm fine. I broke my wrist and have a cut on my head, but nothing a few pins and some stitches won't fix. I promise I'm fine. Sore, but fine."

"What happened? When?"

"It happened Friday night. I was driving an unfamiliar road and I missed a curve."

"Oh God babe. I'm so thankful that it wasn't more serious. You said pins. They had to do surgery?" Elizabeth could still hear the agitation in his voice.

"Yes, they did surgery that night when they brought me in. The doctor said when I get the cast off, there will be some physical therapy to get strength back in my wrist, and then I should be completely healed. I'm fine Henry. I promise. Phyllis came to the hospital and she and Geoffrey tag teamed me the whole time. I just got home today and found your Mom waiting for me so Geoffrey could go back home. As per your instructions, they are managing me very well."

Henry laughed, which she thought was a good sign, "I only said to watch out for you."

"I know Henry and they are, and they love that it drives me crazy. But, let's stop talking about me. How are you doing? I'm so sorry I missed your calls. What's been going on?"

"Actually I'm better. There's a new chaplain here and I really like him. We've been doing a lot of talking and I feel better about things," Henry said.

"That is great news! How much longer do you think you'll be there?"

"Oh babe, I wish I could answer that. They aren't giving us much of an idea. Everything seems to be going well though. Maybe we can just come in, take care of business and leave."

"That would be wonderful. Just stay safe for me please. I miss you so much."

"It's painful how much I miss you, and maybe you're the one who needs to be told to stay safe. You're sure that it's not worse than you're telling me?" Henry asked.

"Broken wrist, cut on my head and then some bruises like where the seatbelt was and some on my legs. I promise. That's all. Please don't worry. I go back to the surgeon next week sometime to have him check my wrist, so I'll let you know then what he says, but he had nothing but positive stuff to say when I left today."

"Five days is a long time to stay in the hospital for nothing serious," Henry said evenly, but she could sense the worry in his voice.

"Most of that was trying to figure out the pain meds because of my wrist. They had me on an IV and that worked great, but it took some tweaking to move to the pain pills so I could go home."

"Alright, I'll pray for quick healing for you." Henry said.

"I know you will. It was probably your prayers that kept me from getting hurt too badly in the first place."

"I hope that's true," Henry agreed.

Elizabeth heard the doorknob turning. "Hey, I think your Mom is back from the store. Why don't you talk to her for a minute too? More bang for your phone call buck, right?"

Henry chuckled. "Sure babe. I love you so much."

"I love you more. See you soon." She handed the phone to MaryHelen as she walked through the door. "It's your son," she said, as MaryHelen took the phone.

Elizabeth listened to their animated conversation while she put the groceries away, thankful that MaryHelen got this unexpected opportunity to talk to Henry. As the two hung up, she could hear Henry say, "Tell Elizabeth that I love her."

Elizabeth shouted, "I love you too. Be safe." And then he hung up.

Phyllis, who had been dozing in the chair, woke with the ringing of the phone, but sat silently while Elizabeth and then MaryHelen talked. After MaryHelen hung up, Phyllis rose from the chair and bid her goodbyes. She gave Elizabeth a hug. "You know I'm not goin' to stop buggin' you about it."

Elizabeth laughed, "I know, and as long as you are fine with me telling you to shut up every once in a while, we'll be fine."

Squeezing a little harder, Phyllis teased, "I have broad shoulders. I can take whatever you dish out."

Elizabeth let go and smiled at Phyllis. Leaning in, she whispered, "I know you won't believe it, but it's not your fault.

Phyllis just looked at her with sadness in her eyes. "You're right. I don't believe you." She sighed, "On the other hand, I am very happy that you are okay."

Elizabeth smiled and let her out, gently closing the door behind Phyllis. She rested her head on the door, thinking of Henry and Phyllis and for a moment she briefly wondered what this whole scenario would have looked like if it had occurred years earlier when she didn't have people around to take care of her. She thought it was interesting how just the thought could immediately bring back those feelings of desperation and the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew those days were in the past, but she wondered how long it might take to forget, or at least take the edge off, those bad years.

She felt MaryHelen's hand on her shoulder. "How about you lay down while I fix us something to eat?"

Elizabeth thought about arguing, but suddenly the weight of the whole day sat squarely on her shoulders and she was exhausted. "Yeah, actually I think I will," she said making her way to the couch and nearly collapsing on it.

The next three days were filled with phone calls, appointments and trying to play catch up. Luckily, all of Elizabeth's professors were very understanding and she could return to class whenever she felt up to it, as long as she kept up with the assignments and got the notes from someone in class. The insurance company was called and they were issuing a check to help pay for a different car. Things were going as well as things in upheaval could go, but Elizabeth was dreading the next task and found herself sitting in the passenger seat of MaryHelen's car staring straight ahead, not sure what to expect. The two were headed to the towing company to clean the remaining belongings from her car before letting the junkyard come and take it.

As MaryHelen put the blinker on and slowed the car to turn in, she saw Elizabeth tense. Instinctively, she put her hand on top of Elizabeth's. "You don't have to do this you know. I can do it."

Elizabeth shook her head. "No, I'll do it." She walked inside the small metal shed and gave them her name and the man stepped outside the door and pointed around the back of the building. Following his instructions, Elizabeth walked down the gravel road to where the tow truck had dumped her car. She rounded a small bend in the road and gasped. Her hand flew up to mouth trying to keep the choked sob inside, but it was fruitless. MaryHelen had been following a short distance behind, knowing that it would be more emotional than Elizabeth realized. Pushing her own emotions away when she saw the car, she pulled Elizabeth into her arms "People said the wreck should've killed me, but I thought everyone was being over dramatic." she whispered, tears slipping down her face.

"I know. It's okay," MaryHelen patted her back for a moment until Elizabeth started to pull away.

Elizabeth turned back to look at the car. The entire top had been removed and was leaning against the trunk. The roof was ripped into three sections, one corner pushed in hanging over where the driver's seat would be, the other two pulled up with jagged edges gleaming in the sunlight. The front of the car was smashed in, the hood crumpled back to where the windshield would have been if it weren't busted out..

She approached the car, reaching out to touch the driver's door, which she could now see had been cut at the hinges and pulled back. Elizabeth eyed her arm and wondered what it looked like beneath the cast and been smashed between the door and the steering column. Her focus shifted to the passenger floorboard where her purse lay haphazardly among the broken glass, contents spilled out, as if she had just dropped it or maybe hit the brakes a little too hard and it slid off the passenger seat into the floor. Leaning over the broken window in the back seat, she picked a sweatshirt up from the floor and shook the loose pieces of safety glass from it. Rounding the back of the car, she tried to avoid looking at the car roof propped there, but it was like a magnetic force, pulling her to it. The jagged edge pulled in dulled with dried blood on it. Elizabeth touched the stitches in her head. Fifty, Phyllis had told her. Fifty sounded like so many.

She was able to open the passenger door in the front and knelt down by the opening to collect the contents of her purse. Retrieving the items, Elizabeth opened the glove box and pulled a few papers out and her extra pair of sunglasses. It seemed ironic that amidst all of the destruction, her glasses made it through unscratched. She smirked and turned her head slightly catching a glimpse of that which she had subconsciously been avoiding.

The driver's seat, unmarred tan leather only a week prior, was now covered in dried blood. She expected as much, but the thing that really amazed her was the headrest. It was cut through the center, top to bottom. Not the clean cut of a paramedic or rescue worker using a knife to gain access to the victim. No, it was the violent tearing of metal chewing away the leather and the foam padding inside until it caught the flesh it was seeking. She wondered if there were forces somewhere upset that all that work was wasted for such a small amount of flesh.

It seemed like such an absurd notion, but the thought kept coming back. Why didn't she die? Looking at the car, there was absolutely no viable reason she should have lived. The woman who had brought the rings, said it was touch and go for a while. Elizabeth conveniently dismissed it at the time, but now wondered what she meant. Was she close to death? What force pulled her back? Or the better question was why? Why was she spared?

MaryHelen watched Elizabeth for several minutes crouched by the car looking up at what was undoubtedly the blood covered driver's seat. She tried to decide how long she should let Elizabeth stay there. Elizabeth didn't seem troubled, at least not as troubled as MaryHelen was. The car was demolished. Geoffrey told her that it took the almost 5 hours to get Elizabeth cut out of the car. It wasn't like she didn't know it would be bad, but MaryHelen truthfully was not prepared for how bad bad would be. The sight was making MaryHelen physically ill. To think that Elizabeth was right there and the situation could have easily turned out much differently. When the first tears fell from MaryHelen's eyes, that was when she decided that it had been long enough.

Kneeling beside her, MaryHelen placed her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder, drawing her from her thoughts. "I think it's time to go," she said softly.

"Yeah, okay." she replied slowly, as though she wasn't quite ready. MaryHelen stood and helped Elizabeth to her feet. Wrapping her arm around Elizabeth's waist, MaryHelen started walking them back to her car. Elizabeth stopped and held MaryHelen in place. "Did you see the headrest? That's the most bizarre part of the whole thing."

"I wasn't paying attention. Let's go."

"No. You have to see this. Come here." Pulling away, Elizabeth caught MaryHelen's hand as it slipped from her waist and she pulled her back to the car. Standing next to the driver's door, she pointed. "The metal from the roof did that."

"Elizabeth, it's time to go."

"No. Look at that. There is no good reason why I'm still standing here. My head was right there."

"It cut your head pretty badly. You need to stop doing this." MaryHelen was hanging on to the last bit of calm she possessed, while the girl she loved like a daughter was trying to analyze why she wasn't dead.

"It was a surface wound. Look at that thing. There is no earthly reason why it didn't cut my head off. Why didn't it?" Elizabeth was begging for it to make some sort of sense. It certainly wasn't that she wanted to die, but she didn't understand how she could have lived, and the fact that she had so narrowly escaped it, made her very uncomfortable.

"Because it wasn't your time to die." MaryHelen said. "Come on." She ushered her to the car.

"What does that mean? Not my time to die." Elizabeth asked once they were back in the car.

These were not the kind of conversations that MaryHelen liked to have. She sighed, "There is a plan. God's plan and each of us has a part to play. We can't just leave before our part is played. So you made a bad choice by driving too fast on a road you didn't know at night and you wrecked your car. If your part of God's plan was finished, you would have died. Obviously God has plans for your life, and you need to go live it to figure out what that is."

"I doubt God cares much about me." Elizabeth said.

"God cares deeply for all of His creation. How you respond to that love is up to you. It is given freely, a gift. You can choose to love him back, or not. It's up to you."

Elizabeth didn't respond. She rested her head against the window as they pulled away. Her mind sifted through memories of all those years after her parents died and not one word was mentioned about God and now she couldn't make a move without God being the focus of everything. She felt trapped and smothered, like she couldn't breathe. Elizabeth felt like she needed to talk it out, but looking at her list of potential candidates, she wasn't going to get very far. She was just going to have to take matters into her own hands.


	65. Chapter 65

A/N: Sorry I took so long to get a new chapter posted. I had a pretty good start and hit a wall. There are parts of this that have been rewritten at least 4 times. I hope it ended up being okay. Thanks for the reviews. Let me know what you think.

If you've already read this and caught that I made a mistake. I went back and fixed it. Thanks to lilacmermaid for pointing it out. It was most definitely a product of too many rewrites! LOL

Chapter 65

As MaryHelen pulled into the parking lot, Elizabeth spoke for the first time since leaving the towing company. "If it's okay with you I'd like to take a walk." MaryHelen looked like she was going to say something, and Elizabeth added, "Alone." Giving MaryHelen no time to respond, Elizabeth placed the apartment key into her hand and opened the door and headed toward the church.

After genuflecting, she slid into the pew and knelt down. Alright God, what the hell do you want from me? In my estimation. I'm doing good. I'm coming around, albeit slowly, but I think decent strides are being made. I've been going to Mass quite a bit. I find myself chatting with You every once in a while. Now all of a sudden it's like You're down my throat. Phyllis, I sort of get. She's always like that, but this accident and then MaryHelen. You know you aren't going to guilt me into love and devotion. That opportunity has long since passed. Am I supposed to fall all over myself in gratitude that You didn't let me die? MaryHelen says there's a plan. I'd sure as hell like to know what that entails, and what kind of plan necessitated the death of my parents? Or was my suffering all part of that plan too? That's a swell thought.

Taking a deep breath, she found that she had calmed a bit since she spilled all of that. On the flip side, after all those years of having no one, now I have people who care about me, actively care, so much so that it's annoying. And then there's Henry. I spent so long time trying not to fall in love with him, but of course I did and it's been the best thing to ever happen to me. And Henry, in all his goodness, believes in You wholeheartedly and would like nothing more than for me to buy in. He says he doesn't care, but we both know he would be elated if I developed a 'personal relationship' with You.

Elizabeth sighed. Okay, I see that I'm being a little bitchy here, but I'm frustrated beyond belief. What am I supposed to do? She sat in silence for a few minutes wondering if she should be waiting for an answer.

The man in the front row of the chapel left the pew and stopped by Elizabeth. "Will you be here a few minutes? I have to be somewhere at 5 and the next person doesn't get here until 5. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying the 15 minutes or so until the next person comes. Phyllis's line, "We don't leave Jesus alone," Played through her mind.

"Sure. I can stay." As the words left her mouth, she surprised herself. What the hell was that?

"Oh, and for some reason, a few minutes ago, this Bible passage came to mind and I feel like I'm supposed to share it with you. Psalm 37, particularly verses 5 and 40. Are those of any importance to you?"

Elizabeth furrowed her brow shook her head. "I'm not familiar with those," Or any for that matter. "Is there a Bible around here somewhere?"

The man took a few steps to a bookcase against the back wall, picked up a Bible and handed it to her. "Hope it's something profound," he said and shrugged before walking out.

It took Elizabeth a few minutes to remember how to look up passages. I think the last time I did this I was probably ten years old. Flipping through, she finally found Psalms and leafed through a few more pages to Chapter 37.

She skimmed down to find the fifth verse. "Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and, He will do it." Are you kidding me? She looked up at the monstrance. That's a little unnerving.

She skipped down to 40. "The Lord helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, Because they take refuge in Him." Great! I've got God talking to me through random people now.

Closing her eyes, Elizabeth thought about the day. The car. MaryHelen. The Bible verse. Elizabeth hung her head What do you want from me? Her eyes fell on the Psalm 37:5. Commit to the Lord. Trust in Him. He will do it. She sighed. The problem was that she didn't trust in Him, and she didn't know that she ever would.

She slid back to sit in the pew and held the closed Bible in her lap. Her fingers traced the gold embossed letters. The Holy Bible. She tried to remember if her parents owned a Bible. She and Henry had received a large beautiful Bible for their wedding with a family tree in the front, a traditional Catholic wedding gift, she'd been told. Henry also had a few others on their bookshelf. There were several in the McCord home and the last time she was at Geoffrey's, she noticed two on the side table by his recliner. "Different translations," he had said. Elizabeth remembered feeling silly that she had never thought about there being more than one Bible. This particular one said "Catholic edition" on the spine. She furrowed her brow and wondered if the Catholics had their own Bible. That didn't sound right.

Hearing the door open behind her, she smiled at the older man coming in. He settled himself close to the front and Elizabeth exited the pew and genuflected out of habit. Placing the Bible back on the stack, she pushed the door open. She still had more questions than answers but didn't feel frustrated like before. She had calmed down and was more settled. The Adoration Chapel never seemed to solve any of her problems but she always left feeling better than when she went in.

Walking into the apartment, MaryHelen sat up straighter on the couch. "Hi," she said softly. "Are you better?" She patted the spot beside her on the couch and Elizabeth sat down.

"Um, yeah. Thank you for coming with me today. That was unexpectedly hard." MaryHelen just nodded her agreement, but didn't speak. "Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do?

MaryHelen wrinkled her nose. "I don't think I understand what you mean?"

"Well, the heart of it is, why do you believe in God, or practice Catholicism instead of some other religion or even just believe in God but not be part of any organized religion? And why do some people seem just lukewarm and some people are crazy intense and are both right?" Elizabeth let out a tired breath. "I'm just so tired of the conflicting feelings. It's like I'm fighting a battle in my head all of the time."

MaryHelen settled back against the couch and tugged Elizabeth into her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Here's the thing. You can ask a hundred people and get a hundred different stories. This is your walk. It won't look like anyone else's. The best thing you could do for yourself is to stop fighting it. Keep taking the small steps and stop worrying about the big leap. You don't have to. Not right now, and maybe not ever, but someday you may look around and realize you are there and you won't really know how it happened."

Elizabeth regarded what MaryHelen said. "Tell me your story."

MaryHelen looked down at Elizabeth. "Why don't we go grab some dinner. The story isn't terribly exciting, but I"m hungry.

As they sat across from each other sharing a pizza, MaryHelen started,"I had a nice family, but my dad died from TB when I was five. I was the third of four kids. My sisters are 3 and 5 years older and my brother is just a year younger. My mom had to go to work right away to keep us fed. We moved out of our house and into a tiny apartment. My older sisters took the brunt of mom working all of the time. They had to look after me and Matty."

"What are your sisters' names?" Elizabeth interrupted.

"Margaret and Mildred or Maggie and Millie."

"I'm guessing that Matty is Matthew. Were you just Mary or did you have another nickname?"

"I've always been MaryHelen. I'm not sure why, but my name was never shortened." MaryHelen shrugged. "Anyway, we really never saw much of my mom. She was either working or sleeping. I missed her a lot, and I'm sure she missed us too. She had to provide for us though, so she did what she felt she had to do. We were left to our own devices most of the time and luckily for us, we weren't really troublemakers. When I was 13, I got a job in a laundromat ironing. I felt really important bringing in money to help out instead of just receiving. I had hoped that somehow my little contribution would allow my mom to not have to work so much, but that wasn't how it worked. I didn't really know her and she didn't know us. I know she loved us, but a lot of times, that wasn't enough.

Both of my sisters got married as soon as they turned 18. When I turned 18, I had no intention of getting married. But I wanted out. I enrolled in community college and worked nights to pay for it. I started dating this guy who was Catholic.

"Patrick?" Elizabeth asked..

"No, his name was David," MaryHelen smiled.

"He started dragging me to all of these Catholic things and I never really resisted it at all. I loved the family I gained. We did Bible studies and went to the dances and played cards at people's houses. It became all I had wanted my own family to be, so it was the feeling of belonging that got me, but the Truth that kept me. I was already in RCIA when I broke up with David. I lost my entire social group because they were his friends before they were our friends. I would have just quit, but by that time I was too far in belief wise to go back to nothing." MaryHelen stopped and thought for a moment, but knew that for all the outward things Elizabeth did, she could most likely walk away and not think twice.

"My RCIA group was wonderful though. We became our own group and Patrick ended up sponsoring one of the guys that went through with me and that's how we got to know each other. We started dating, I finished nursing school, I joined the Church, we got married, four kids, happily ever after and all that stuff."

That's nice." Elizabeth thought about MaryHelen for a while. "Didn't you ever question though? Aren't there things that were hard for you to accept or are still hard?"

"Sure. But when I asked the same thing, my sponsor told me there would always be something that wasn't to my liking, but as long as I believed in all of the big things, I would be okay. Over the years, I've found that those things that I fought the hardest against were the things that I found that caused me the most grief. Life would have been so much easier if I had let go of some of my stubbornness. But I guess you learn that with age." MaryHelen shrugged.

Elizabeth looked at MaryHelen. "What were the biggest obstacles for you?" Elizabeth caught MaryHelen off guard and she blushed. Elizabeth backpedaled, "Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. That's personal. Nevermind."

MaryHelen laughed, "It's fine. I just wasn't expecting that question. Umm, probably the biggest hurdle at the start was understanding the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. I got what it meant. It took a while to develop the faith to believe it. Then there was premarital sex and birth control."

"I think I'm okay with Jesus in the Eucharist because I physically feel a difference when I'm in a Catholic Church. The other part just plain sucked, but I'm continually told that patience is a virtue."

MaryHelen's head snapped up to look at her. "You waited?" disbelief evident in her voice. "Seriously?"

It was Elizabeth's turn to blush. "Uh, I wasn't informed that there were other options."

MaryHelen laughed. "We we all have free will. Sometimes, we don't make the best decisions. But I'm super impressed with the two of you."

"Uh, thanks," Elizabeth said, more than a little embarrassed. "I started out being fine with birth control, but we decided to drop that pretty early on. That was a huge ordeal!"

"You don't look like a hope and wish for the best kind of person," MaryHelen said.

"Gosh no, hoping and wishing are not my things. We do NFP and it's been really good for us and so far, so good."

"That's the charting thing right?" Elizabeth nodded, having learned long ago that the actual explanation was more than most people wanted to hear.

"I think that will serve you well." MaryHelen laughed.

"What?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"You are probably more Catholic than 95% of people your age." Elizabeth frowned.

"I'm so tired of hearing stuff like that," she sighed.

"Do you think there is an expectation when I say that? There isn't. It's a statement of fact. There are a lot of people that call themselves Catholic that are less faithful than you, whether you intend to be or not." The two women paid their bill and walked outside. Elizabeth motioned them to walk toward the park.

"I don't feel faithful in the least," Elizabeth said.

"Feelings are overrated." Elizabeth looked confused, like she wanted to ask for clarification, but didn't think she wanted to know. MaryHelen studied Elizabeth. "I think we rely too much on how we feel about some things and give our feelings too much power in our lives." Elizabeth's eyes narrowed, but MaryHelen continued. "I'm not saying that we should always ignore our feelings, but I think they can lead us astray and make things more confusing than need be."

"How so?" Elizabeth asked.

"I just think that sometimes we try to escape doing the hard things in the name of 'not feeling it.' There are a lot of things in this world that are worth doing, even if they are uncomfortable at first, and most of the time, we come to see good in them. Do you remember the first Christmas you stayed with us?"

Elizabeth smiled, "Yes. It seems like a long time ago and yesterday all at the same time."

"I asked you if you would come with us to Midnight Mass. I asked, thinking you would say no. I was both stunned and impressed that you went with us that night."

Elizabeth met her gaze. "Why not?"

"I didn't know you very well back then. I think I greatly underestimated your strength."

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. "My strength?" She laughed, "I don't think so."

"I saw a glimpse of it back then. You were fearful. I thought maybe because of losing your parents, but you faced it and went anyway. Since then, I've watched you let your husband go over and over and put a brave face on for him every time. You dealt with Geoffrey's illness and mended fences there, where there was so much hurt from your teen years. And, today, I watched you confront your own mortality. I don't think you even understand the depth of the strength you possess. I don't know what God's plan is for you, but it must be big. I don't think you need to jump off the proverbial deep end, but I think you should try to be open to what comes to you. You never know how God will send you a message."

Elizabeth thought about that for a while. She didn't consider herself to be strong. If felt quite the opposite most of the time. Maybe that was a feeling she should ignore. It wasn't helpful to give into the insecurity and hopelessness she sometimes felt. Thinking back on her day, she looked over at MaryHelen, who was still walking beside her. "Has God ever spoken to you?" she asked.

"Depends what you mean. I've never had a Moses and the burning bush incident, but I do feel like He's guided me in certain ways. Why?""

"Today when I was the Adoration Chapel," Elizabeth watched the smile spread across MaryHelen's face. "Stop. That's not the point of this. I went to tell God to back the hell off." MaryHelen bit her lip to try and stop herself from smiling. Elizabeth wasn't sure if it was because of her going to Adoration or why she went there. "So anyway, as the other guy leaves, he tells me that he had a Bible passage come to him and he felt like he was supposed to share it. I look it up and it's all about trusting God and taking refuge in Him."

"Uh-huh. Yep. That happens. Maggie and I used to do it all of the time. The Adoration Chapel is sometimes a crazy place to hang out."

"What would happen?" Elizabeth asked, her curiosity piqued.

"We would play this game of sorts when we were each there for our hour. Right before leaving, we'd open the Bible randomly and slap our finger in a spot. We'd write down that location and give it to the other person. I cannot begin to tell you how many times it dealt with something that we were struggling with in our lives. It was both creepy and awesome at the same time."

"Right now, I'm just going with creepy."

MaryHelen turned to look at her as they walked. "Suit yourself. But the more open you are to it, the more you will see it. If you allow yourself to see it, God's presence in your life is everywhere."

"Let's go home," Elizabeth said, turning to look over her shoulder at the church steeple protruding from the skyline. I'm not so sure I want to see it.


	66. Chapter 66

AN: I read through this a few times and hopefully fixed all of the typos. If you find more, let me know and I'll fix them. I typed this on my phone and I have a harder time proofreading on it.

Chapter 66

October 1991

Elizabeth milled around the airport boarding area listlessly. The adrenaline coursing through her veins made it impossible to stay in any one place too long. Leaning against the viewing window, she thought about the few months since the accident. Everything had been a whirlwind: physical therapy, classwork, physical therapy, graduation, physical therapy, packing, surgery to remove the pins in her wrist, starting her new job at the CIA, moving. Did I mention physical therapy? Looking down at her left wrist, she felt a mix of discontent and accomplishment. She had spent three days a week for the past six months getting back to normal. Well, at least what the therapist deemed normal. She still couldn't do everything she had been able to do before, at least not without thinking about it and experiencing discomfort.

She was living with Isabelle right now, until she and Henry could pick an apartment together. That was the one thing she refused to do alone. If it was going to be their home, he had to be there. Isabelle had offered to let them stay a few weeks until they could get a place of their own. Elizabeth laughed as she thought of the conversation.

"What the hell is this?" Isabelle asked, holding a notebook with several addresses.

"It's my list of potential apartments. I thought Henry and I would start looking right away. A hotel will be too expensive to stay in for more than a week or so." Elizabeth said.

"Is Henry too good to stay here?" Isabelle had said, eyes narrowed, her voice bristled.

"No. That's not it at all. We don't want to take advantage of you. You letting me stay with you over the summer has been more than gracious."

"Oh, for God's sake, Bess, park your ass here until you find a place." She started to head back to her room, but then turned back to Elizabeth, "But, do try to keep the noise level down. There's nothing worse than listening to other people fuck, when you have no prospects yourself."

Elizabeth moved across the broad expanse and got a drink from the water fountain. Stepping into the ladies room, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed the bodice of her dress with her hands and touched the charms that hung from her neck, the ones that matched Henry's. Closing her eyes, she leaned on the counter, hoping it would hold her up. God, we're so close. Bring Henry home to me and help us navigate what comes next. Elizabeth remembered the company wide report that had crossed her desk just days before-the one about soldiers coming home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the difficulties they were having returning to their families. May our love be enough to get us through to the other side.

Elizabeth continued her cycle of sitting, standing and pacing as the minutes ticked by like hours. "There it is!" she heard a child exclaim excitedly. Looking up she saw the large military plane touch down on a runway at the opposite end of the airport. She swallowed hard trying to force the spasms in her stomach to calm. As the plane finally came to a stop at the end of the runway, tears slipped down Elizabeth's face. She came to the realization that while she desperately wanted her husband home, she was terrified of what that might look like once he got there.

The plane slowly made its way to the terminal and finally to the gate. The energy of the crowd could be felt everywhere. Elizabeth felt like the walls were closing in on her. She moved to the back of the room, where it wasn't quite so crowded and took a few slow, deep breaths trying to clear her mind and calm herself down. As the soldiers started coming into the terminal, it became harder to see. Elizabeth moved forward, the need to see Henry outweighing any fears she may have held.

She was sure she saw him come out of the jet bridge, but then he disappeared into the crowd. Standing on tiptoe, Elizabeth tried to locate Henry in the crowd, but failed to see him. A voice came from her right. "Looking for anyone in particular?"

Turning her head and taking the sight of Henry in, tears sprang to her eyes. She closed the short distance, burying her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "You're home," she said, tears still streaming down her face. Pulling back, Elizabeth studied him. "How are you?"

The mask of bravado he'd been wearing fell away and his voice came out shaky, almost a whisper. "I'm so much better now that I'm with you." He tipped her head back and kissed her almost timidly. He let their foreheads fall together and she felt his hot tears on her cheeks. "I missed you so much," he choked.

"Let's get out of here," she said, taking his hand and leading him toward the closest exit.

Minutes later they pulled into a hotel parking lot. Henry looked over at Elizabeth. "I thought you said we were staying with Isabelle."

"We are, but I wanted it to be just us tonight. We need some reconnect, without anyone else around." Henry nodded and took her hand in his and pulled it to his cheek and held it there. "Let's go."

Elizabeth handed Henry the key card and leaned against him as they walked down the hallway to their room. Letting Elizabeth in, Henry followed. Closing the distance between them, Henry took her in his arms, pressing his nose to her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. "You know, there were times, I wasn't sure I would ever get to do this again." Elizabeth said nothing, but tightened her grip on him.

Finally Elizabeth pulled away. "Do you want to change? Your fatigues don't look very comfortable."

"I think I'll take a shower if that's okay. I still feel like I have sand all over me."

"I bet you do. Are you hungry? We can order room service." Henry shook his head.

"I'm fine. Just a shower." He stepped away from her, but immediately felt the loss, so he stepped back and kissed her. "I'm happy to be home."

"I packed some things for you if you want them," Elizabeth said. She felt like she was walking a fine line between seeming not to care and being too smothering. She wanted to be all over him, but knew how much she hated to be hovered over. Elizabeth didn't want to do it to Henry.

She heard the water being turned on and she pulled a book from the suitcase and settled herself on the bed to wait. A few pages in, a noise caught her attention. She put her book down and listened closer. A muffled sob came from the bathroom. Oh Henry! Elizabeth rolled off of the bed and made it as far as the bathroom door and stopped. What if he doesn't want me? Am I going to make it worse? She shifted uneasily trying to make a decision. Hearing it again, Elizabeth's hand turned the knob, half expecting it to be locked. When it wasn't, she cracked the door and looked in. Henry had his back to her, his body shuddering with sobs that he was obviously trying to hold in, or at least keep quiet. Slipping inside, she shed her dress and undergarments and opened the shower door. Henry turned his head at the sudden whoosh of air. "Elizabeth." His voice was thick and raspy. "I'm sorry."

"No. There's nothing to be sorry for. What can I do to help?"

"I've just got so many things going on in my head. I don't know how to make sense of it."

"Can you talk about it?"

"I've talked it to death. I'm just so done talking."

"Then let's do something." A flicker of confusion crossed Henry's features before she spun him and pushed his back to the shower wall and pulled his head down to meet hers. Their lips crashed together in a heated kiss. Henry thrust his tongue into her mouth, devouring her. Elizabeth separated herself and looked into his eyes. She saw pain that she didn't know if she could take away, but she knew she could make him forget, at least for a little while.

She fell to her knees, kissing the inside of Henry's thigh, her hands gripping his ass, pulling him to her. Elizabeth felt his burgeoning penis harden against her neck and he let out a loud groan. "Oh God."

Yeah. God. Thank you for keeping him safe. She kissed his hip and then took him in her mouth.

Laying across the bed, still damp from the shower, Henry was sprawled across Elizabeth's chest. Running his fingers lightly down her arm, he said, "I'll be okay." Then, he shifted his head to look up at his wife. "We'll be okay."

"I know," she whispered, hoping that she sounded more sure of statement than she felt. They lay there for a long while. She could tell that he was wanting to tell her more, but she didn't ask. She waited, weaving her fingers through his hair, running her hand along his shoulder blades, staying silent.

Elizabeth was close to drifting off when he spoke next. "I think we should sleep separately for a while." Her body involuntarily tensed.

"What?" she asked, hoping she had misunderstood what he said.

"I have nightmares." Elizabeth tipped her head forward and kissed the top of his. She felt the tear land on her chest as he took a ragged breath.

"It will be okay. We'll get through it. Together. I won't sleep apart from you."

Henry sat up and spun around to face her, urgency and anguish written in his features. He took her hands in his. "Babe. They're bad. I'm afraid I will hurt you."

"Oh Henry. Baby. Come here." Elizabeth scooted over and Henry crawled up to sit against the headboard. She curled up against him. "What kind of dreams?"

"I won't burden you with that." Henry said.

"Have you told anyone?"

"No. I haven't talked about that part of it."

"If you won't tell me, you need to find someone you can tell."

"I'll be fine. I just need some time." Elizabeth disagreed, but didn't think that moment was the time to voice that opinion.

"I'll be here loving you. As long as it takes," she said

January 1992

"Bess, you look like shit," Isabelle said as she walked in and saw Elizabeth sitting at her desk, coffee in hand. Her two day old hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Yesterday's makeup had long since worn off and she couldn't even try to hide that she was wearing the same outfit as the previous day.

"Thanks a lot. I was running late. I just grabbed what was out. And yet, I still beat you."

"You're a damned liar. You've been here at least an hour. You got good parking. Spill it. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on." Elizabeth kept her head down silently hoping Isabelle would give up and go away. Of course, she knew better.

"I'm a spy for Christ sakes. Do you really think I'm going to let you off that easy?"

"What exactly do you want from me?" Isabelle sat in the chair at the end of Elizabeth's desk.

"Honesty would be swell. Look, I know you and Henry are having trouble. You don't have to tell me that. It's written all over your face."

"We aren't having trouble. He's still adjusting and he doesn't sleep well. When he has a bad night, I don't sleep either. Last night was a really bad night and I decided to come to work before I happened to nod off and really did oversleep."

"Well, that's improvement. I would guess about 60% truth in that one." Elizabeth glared at her. "What? I'm decent at my job." Isabelle pondered Elizabeth's situation. "Is Henry seeing someone?"

Elizabeth scoffed at the notion. "No."

"Not another woman, you nut. I mean a shrink."

"Oh, sorry. Not that either." Elizabeth replied.

"And you've asked him to?" Isabelle wondered how far she could push before Elizabeth shut her down.

"Of course I have."

"Maybe it's time to issue an ultimatum."

"That's not how we work, Isabelle."

"You should look into it. Damn, Bess, it's been three months. It's time to turn the corner. If he was going to be able to do it by himself, he would be doing it by now." Isabelle leaned back in the chair and laced her fingers behind her head. "Do I need to have a sit down with Henry and straighten him out?"

"God no. You stay away. He'd be embarrassed that we're even having this conversation." Elizabeth rubbed her tired eyes.

"You know this conversation has nothing to do with him. It's about you. You are falling apart trying to be there for him. You can't take this on for him. And I'm not picking up the slack for you. Okay, I amend my previous statement. This conversation isn't even about you. It's about me not covering for you because you're strung out over him."

"You'd cover for me and you know it." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and stared at Isabelle over her coffee.

Isabelle sighed, "Yeah, I would, but I'd bitch about it." She skipped a beat and then continued. "So you're going to convince him that he needs to seek some help outside of your apartment?" Elizabeth just took another sip of coffee.

Elizabeth opened the apartment door and aroma of tomato and oregano flood her senses. "Mmm. What's for dinner?"

"Wow, babe! It's 5:14." He walked over and kissed her cheek. "Did the world implode and they sent you home early or what?"

Elizabeth smiled, "I went in early, so I left a little early. I think I'm going to go take a bath. How long until dinner is ready?"

"About an hour. Are you alright?" Henry inquired, noticing her exhaustion.

"I'll be fine," she said as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

As they sat at the table, Henry studied Elizabeth and watched her push the lasagna around on her plate, eating very little. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I'm working on it," she said simply. Henry nodded and stood to empty his plate. A few minutes later, she joined him at the sink. "I'll wash,"

They worked side by side in silence. When he could no longer bear the silence, Henry said, "I hate what this is doing to you."

Elizabeth's hands stilled, submerged in the warm, soapy water. "I hate what it's doing to you."

"I want you to know I'm trying."

"I know you are. But when will it be time to say that you might need outside help?" Henry started to speak, but Elizabeth cut him off, continuing her line of thought. "I love you and I will always stay by your side, but this, this Jekyll and Hyde thing we've got going on is wearing me down. I can't sleep. I watch you flail and moan and fight and curse. I'm afraid for you." She stopped and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "And for me," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"Can I speak now?" he asked.

"Sorry. I needed to get it out before I lost my nerve."

"You wanted to know when it will it be time. The answer is last week. I went to my second appointment today and I have another in two days."

"Really?"

"Yes. I had to get to that point on my own. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. I love you for loving me." Henry pulled her hands from the dishwater and dried them. Wrapping his arms around Elizabeth, he asked, "Can I show you just how much I love you?" Elizabeth nodded and swallowed thickly as she was pulled to the bedroom.


	67. Chapter 67

A/N: Hi all! New chapter. Hope you like it. Sally asked if Henry knew that Elizabeth had an accident. Yes, she told him in Chapter 64. I can't remember now, but someone else asked why MaryHelen didn't really tell Henry how bad it was. One reason was that she didn't hear what Elizabeth had told Henry because she was out, and another reason was they they hadn't seen the car yet, so neither of them really knew exactly how bad it was. Then, there is the overall idea that they wouldn't want him to be preoccupied with what could have happened to Elizabeth, thereby being distracted in his own job, so tell him the basics, but don't elaborate. Just my ideas on it as I was writing.

Chapter 67

April 1992

Elizabeth felt the gentle shake of her shoulder and the feel of the thermometer against her lips. Automatically, she opened her mouth and let it slide under her tongue. She lay fully content on Henry's chest and was almost ready to doze a few more minutes.

Suddenly her eyes shot wide open and she sat straight up. Henry sat staring at her with a Cheshire Cat grin. "I was wondering how long it would take?" She reached up to pull the thermometer from her mouth, but he took her hand. "You have 2 more minutes. Just lay back down." As she settled back down on Henry's chest, Elizabeth felt herself relax in a way that she hadn't in over a year, before Henry left.

Things had been getting progressively better, especially over the last month. They had been going to sleep together for quite awhile, but Henry's nightmares were still such that they woke him up and he left their bed. Elizabeth would find herself alone when the alarm went off. Today was the first time since Henry left for Iraq nearly fifteen months ago that they woke up in the same bed. She sighed again and smiled.

He pulled the thermometer from her mouth. Elizabeth looked up at him. "Congratulations baby. You made it!" She kissed his chest, not having enough leverage to pull herself up to his lips.

"No. _We_ made it. It's just one day. Try not to get your hopes up too much. I'm sure there will be more bad days to come." Henry reminded her.

"But I see light at the end of the tunnel and that is a good thing." Elizabeth bit her lower lip and traced nonsensical patterns on his chest. "I think we should celebrate."

"Maybe we should. Do you have a suggestion?"

"I was thinking morning sex might be nice. It's been a while s-" Elizabeth got cut off.

"Fourteen months, 2 weeks, 6 days." Henry looked at her.

Elizabeth giggled, "Really? You've been counting?"

Henry's cheeks flushed and he shrugged, "I woke up a few minutes before you. I had a little time on my hands." Elizabeth squirmed up his body and kissed him. "Phase 3, right?" he asked

"Baby, we are firmly planted in Phase 3, We can do this every morning for another week if we wanted." she purred before nipping at his earlobe.

"Why are we still talking then?" Henry flipped them so she was straddling him and Elizabeth laughed openly and full of joy. It was a sound that Henry hadn't heard in such a long time. It caused him to stop and stare up at her. Taking her hands in his, he pulled them to his lips and kissed them, whispering, "Thank you God."

Elizabeth repeated, "Yes thank you, God!"

August 1992

On a Saturday around noon and Elizabeth emerged from the bathroom, hair and makeup done, wearing only her underwear and bra. She glanced over at the bed and frowned. "Henry, where's my…" Her voice trailed off as she saw Henry standing in the bedroom doorway in his dress blues, balancing the hanger containing her dress on his index finger.

"Looking for something?" he asked smugly.

"Give me that. We're going to be late and I'm going to tell your commanding officer that the reason is because you were holding my clothing hostage."

"If he had my view, he'd do the same thing." Henry quipped and Elizabeth snatched the hanger from his hand.

"Don't be cute, 1st Lieutenant McCord." Elizabeth shimmied into the dress so she didn't mess up her hair.

"That's not official." Henry said, stepping closer so he could zip up the dress. "I love it when you wear your hair up," he said as he maneuvered the zipper over the small of her back.

"Oh. Why is that?" She asked, tilting her head a bit as the zipper reached the top.

"Because It gives me free reign to do this," bending down, he planted a row of tiny kisses up her neckline. She squirmed away.

"That tickles, and we're going to be late," she said, stepping into her sandals. "Let's go and make you a 1st Lieutenant."

Two hours later they walked out of the promotion ceremony. Elizabeth ran her finger lightly over the silver 1st Lieutenant bars. "I'm really proud of you. I hope you know that." Henry opened the car door for her and kissed her on the cheek before she got in. "I know. Thank you," he said.

When he got in the car, Elizabeth asked, "Do you want to eat or go to Mass first?"

"It doesn't matter to me. How hungry are you?"

"Not very hungry. I hit the cookie platter pretty hard at the reception."

Henry laughed, "Mass first it is. Should I go home and change? I feel a little overdressed."

"Absolutely not! You look hot and I like it when you're on my arm." Henry leaned over and kissed her. "As you wish."

Waking into Mass, the couple was recognizable by many. Elizabeth attended semi-regularly during Henry's deployment, but since he returned, they hadn't missed a week. Henry shook hands with the usher and they made their way to "their pew." Elizabeth smirked. Every single week they walked down the aisle and Henry sat in the exact same place. For all the teasing MaryHelen McCord took from her son about her desire to sit in the same spot, it seemed that he was no different.

With the exception of receiving Holy Communion, Elizabeth was a full participant in Mass and had been for quite some time. She wasn't even sure when exactly that had happened. During the homily, Elizabeth thought about her situation. Henry was still mostly mute on the subject. He always answered any question she had, but never questioned her motives or expected anything from her. Phyllis was the opposite. Elizabeth called her every Sunday evening after the diner closed and every Sunday Phyllis checked on her religious state of being. In an odd, annoying way, it was comforting. It was their thing, and it gave Phyllis something to think about and Elizabeth had to confront it for half an hour once a week.

Over dinner, Henry took Elizabeth's hand. "I wanted to ask you about something. It's just something I've been thinking about, you know, since I'm finally better after the deployment. In no way, am I pressuring you. Like I said, I was just thinking about-"

"Henry, spit it out. What?" Elizabeth laughed at his insecurity, dancing around what he wanted to say. It was so unlike him.

"What do you think about trying to start our family?" Henry blurted out.

"Oh. Wow! A baby? You and me? Now? I wasn't expecting that." Elizabeth was speechless.

"I know it's not what we talked about, but we've been married two and a half years, and lately when I look at you, I just think how beautiful you'll look with our baby growing in you and I'm just happy I'm back to being myself and well, I just keep coming back to it. I don't know. It sounds silly when I say it out loud."

"I'm going to need a bit of time to process this one. I don't know that I'm ready. What are the chances that you'll be deployed again before the end of your enlistment? That's the big deterrent for me." She pulled her hand from his and cupped his cheek. "I love that you brought this to me and I will think about it.."

"Pray about it and let me know." Henry said Elizabeth was a little unnerved by that statement since Henry never said anything to her regarding her faith. She wondered if the reason he asked that of her was due to his own manner of working through his thoughts or if it was because of its importance to him. Either way, she would do it for him.

Late the next week, Henry and Elizabeth were spending their evening on the couch reading. Elizabeth looked up and watched Henry. She remembered how comfortable he'd looked when he held Gianna at their wedding. Looking over at the top of the bookcase, she saw Gianna's latest picture. She was most certainly not a baby anymore, but a sweet little three year old.

She knew Henry would make a wonderful father, but then she thought of herself and a wave of sadness and fear washed over her. How could she possibly be a good mother when she had no mother to show her how? She berated herself for letting this get her worked up. It seemed that just when she came to a point where she was comfortable with the death of her parents, another thing would come up to make it blatantly obvious how lacking she was because she was parentless. Tears slid down her face in spite of Elizabeth trying to talk sense to herself.

Henry looked up from his book when he heard the sniffle. "Babe! What's going on?" He scrambled off the couch and knelt by her side. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Looking at Henry in that moment, knowing that he would be wonderful and she was woefully lacking,, all of her emotions bubbled to the surface. "I'm sad. And scared, and the whole thing is dumb and I know it, but it's there anyway," she choked out. Henry motioned for Elizabeth to move and he sat down pulling her into his lap. She immediately buried her head in the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around him and clung to his body. Henry held onto her and waited.

When Elizabeth relaxed and calmed, Henry pushed her back enough to see her face. "What this all about?"

"Henry. I won't be a good mom because I don't know how and my mom is gone, so she can't help me."

"Oh, Elizabeth, babe, it's okay. Really. I promise. It will be fine. Everything we don't know, we can learn. We have lots of people that would be happy help us: my mom, Maria, Phyllis and even Geoffrey, since he helped take care of Gianna when she was a baby. When it happens, it will be alright. I promise."

Elizabeth looked at Henry. "You think so?"

Henry pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "I know so." Pulling her close again, he asked, "Does this mean you're considering it? I mean us having a baby?"

"I've been thinking about it. It's scary though. Can we wait a few months, until maybe after the first of the year? Eastern Africa is a giant mess right now and I have a feeling we will be sending peacekeeping teams over there. I just want to make sure you don't get sent away again I'm serious when I say I don't think I could do it without you. You have to be here."

Henry pressed kisses into her hair, "Absolutely." Taking a moment to think about everything that he loved about Elizabeth, he whispered, "You will be a wonderful mother someday."

January 1993

Friday afternoon, Elizabeth walked in the door just after 3, having taken off half a day to get a few errands done. Setting the Chinese take out bags on the table, she went to take the shopping bags to the bedroom. Henry wasn't expected home for another hour at least, so Elizabeth hoped she could get a nap in, on the off chance that she and Henry would go out later.

No sooner was she settled on the bed with a book when she heard the sound of the front door lock click. Listening intently, she waited, heard the door softly shut and then nothing. Quietly she got up and went to the doorway and looked into the living room. She saw Henry sitting in the chair with his back to her, his head resting in his hands.

Slipping from her spot, she silently went to him thinking she would surprise him, but as she got closer, she realized that he was upset. Concern flooded her and she quickly went to console him. "Henry, what's going on?"

Henry jumped at the sounds of her voice. "I didn't know you would be here."

"What's wrong?" Elizabeth knew immediately that whatever news Henry was about to give her was bad.

"I'm being deployed," Henry said flatly.

Elizabeth didn't respond for a minute. Working the East Africa desk at the CIA, she knew all about the shitshow in Somalia and was fearful that would be the destination. Of course, only one place would be worse than that. "Where to?" she finally gathered the courage to ask.

Henry drew in a deep breath. "Iraq." Elizabeth audibly gasped. Henry continued, "UN Border to be mostly flyovers to make sure everything is running smoothly. It will be fine." He tried to soothe her, even as he felt like he was coming apart at the seams.

"When do you leave?" she asked quietly.

" I have two weeks leave. We'll go see my parents and I can spend time with you." Henry pulled Elizabeth onto his lap, overlapping his hands on her hip. "I'll be okay"

She rested her head against his. "I want to believe you. I really do."


	68. Chapter 68

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. This chapter took forever. Even though I don't have a clue where things are going, I can usually see something emerging and roll with it. It took about ten starts with this before it actually took shape. I hope you like it.

Chapter 68

February 1993

Walking out of the airport and wiping the tears from her eyes, Elizabeth hoped this would be the last time. Six months, he told her. Border patrol. Theoretically, that meant no bombings, and no raids. Fly over the area, distribute humanitarian aid. She crossed her fingers and closed her eyes. _Let him be okay this time._

Elizabeth stepped through the door of the apartment and took a deep breath. Time for her to pack. She and Isabelle and an analyst one year their senior, Juliet, had been invited to take part in a six month exchange with the British Secret Service in London. Elizabeth was originally going to turn down the opportunity, but with Henry's unexpected deployment, there was no reason not to go now. She looked around and tried to decide what needed to be taken care of before her departure

A knock on the door interrupted her line of thinking. Checking the peephole, she saw Isabelle and Juliet. "Come on in," she said swinging the door open wide.

"What's for dinner? I'm starving," Isabelle said as she shucked her coat off.

"It's called clean out the fridge." Elizabeth said. It's all fair game." The three women sat around talking and eating as Isabelle and Elizabeth got to know Juliet better. She was part of the same internship program they had done, only one year earlier, and she had spent her time working in a different area They found that they got along easily and Elizabeth was glad for this distraction. She hoped that the combination of adventure and friendship would lessen the effect of Henry's absence over the next few months.

June 1993

Elizabeth was curled up on the couch of the London flat that she shared with Isabelle and Juliet making her round of Sunday afternoon calls. She always called Geoffrey, Phyllis, Will and MaryHelen in the afternoon and Henry called Sunday evenings and she could relay any family news to him.

When she called the McCord home, it was Patrick who picked up. She immediately tensed. In the three and half years she had been around the McCords, she had never known Patrick to answer the phone. She answered his gruff "Hello" tentatively.

"Hi, Patrick. How are you?" He let out a ragged sigh.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing you can do much about from the other side of the ocean." The knot in Elizabeth's stomach tightened. His voice had its same rough edge, but there was a hint of something else. Sadness maybe, possibly fear.

"Maybe not," she finally answered, "But that doesn't mean I don't want to know. Is it something Henry should know about?"

"God no!" Patrick snapped back fiercely, so much so that Elizabeth physically pulled the phone from her ear.

"Alright, so I won't tell Henry." She waited, hoping the the uncomfortableness of the silence would prod him into saying something.

Seeing that Elizabeth wasn't going to let it go, he finally relented. "She has cancer. She's in the hospital with an infection."

Elizabeth, who had been pacing nervously, fell to her knees in the middle of the floor. "Oh God," she gasped. She closed her eyes and willed herself to keep it together long enough to finish the phone call. "What kind?"

"Ovarian," he said.

"What are they doing to treat it?" Elizabeth ran her hand through her hair and tipped her head back trying to keep the tears in her eyes.

"Chemo, radiation. I don't know. All that stuff. She got an infection where they keep running the IV for the meds. Because her immune system is shot, it just took over. Now it's in her blood."

A realization swept over Elizabeth. "Patrick, how long have you known?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "A couple months?" Nothing. "Before Henry deployed?" Patrick sighed. "Dammit Patrick. You purposely didn't tell Henry."

"Hey, stop right there. That wasn't my call. MaryHelen didn't want to burden him with it, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do anything but worry anyway. She made me promise and I get why she wanted it that way." His voice trailed off.

"How bad is it? Now, with the infection."

"They think they have the infection under control with the antibiotics, but she's missed three treatments and we aren't sure what that might mean for the cancer."

"How's everybody holding up?" Elizabeth asked, thinking of Henry's siblings.

"Erin and Shane are both at school so they can't help much but are worried and Maureen has terrible morning sickness, so she isn't around much. Of course I have to keep working to keep the insurance going. It's rough right now, but we'll pull through. We McCords always do."

"Of course," Elizabeth said, already making plans in her mind and wondering vaguely why MaryHelen hadn't told her that Maureen and her new husband, Tom, were expecting. Although, that was really the least of her concerns in that moment.

"Hey, Patrick. I'm sorry. I'll be thinking about you guys. Give MaryHelen my love, okay?"

"Yeah. Listen. Don't tell Henry. She doesn't want him distracted. He'll be home in a few months and then we'll tell him. Okay?" Patrick had a pleading in his voice that she'd never imagined he could even have, much less vocalize.

"Okay. I will honor MaryHelen's decision."

"Thank you, Elizabeth," he said.

"Take care of yourself. She needs you to be strong." The tears were falling freely now and she knew he knew she was crying.

"I know. Bye."

"Bye."

Elizabeth put her finger on the button to disconnect the call. Releasing it she heard the dial tone again and placed a call to Conrad Dalton requesting a leave of absence for a family emergency.

When Henry called that night, Elizabeth wasn't sure she would be able to keep her promise to Patrick. She was afraid that Henry would be able to sense something in her voice and if he point blank asked her, she couldn't lie.

Luckily, Henry was enthused about some things going on with some of the guys in his unit. He barely let her get a word in. For this, she was truly happy. Not only did she not have to tell him about his mother, but he seemed so much happier now than during his previous deployment. She hoped that would mean good things for them both when he returned. Elizabeth sent up a silent prayer for MaryHelen to get better so that mother and son could spend some much needed time together.

Shortly after hanging up with Henry, she packed her bags and called a cab to come and take her to the airport. Patrick hadn't specifically asked her to come, but everyone else was occupied and she seemed to have the most flexibility, even halfway around the world. She remembered what she had told MaryHelen early on in their marriage. "As long as I am living, this family will always be a priority." Wiping a stray tear, she gathered the last of her things, said goodbyes to Isabelle and Juliet and headed out into the night to catch her cab.

It was an excruciatingly long night and she was so exhausted that she chuckled when she looked at her watch and discovered that she had only lost a couple hours over the course of the trip. She picked up a cab and took it straight to the hospital. After inquiring about the room number, she made her way to the 6th floor oncology unit, to room 635. Peeking in. She saw that MaryHelen was still sleeping. Setting her bags down in the corner, she curled up on the couch under the window and fell asleep.

A couple hours later, as the sun was cresting the horizon, a dim light spread across the room and MaryHelen stirred. She slowly opened her eyes and let them adjust to the light before looking out the window. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Elizabeth curled up on the couch keeping vigil. Tears slid down her face as she wondered how Elizabeth found out, how she was able to leave her job in London and if Henry knew. She was all too aware that if Elizabeth knew it would be nearly impossible for her to keep it from Henry. That's why she had made the decision to keep them both in the dark. She had a decent prognosis and there was no sense in them both being on opposite sides of the world worrying. There was also the knowledge that distraction could literally cost Henry his life.

Now, of course, this infection had thrown a monkey wrench in that. She had missed three treatments now and she prayed that it wouldn't mean the difference between living and dying. As if on cue, Elizabeth opened her eyes and upon seeing MaryHelen awake, was at her bedside immediately. "Hi. How are you doing?" she asked, taking MaryHelen's hand.

"Well, I haven't actually moved yet, but so far, I feel a little better." MaryHelen said, her lips curving into a sad smile. "How long have you known?"

Elizabeth looked at her watch and did some quick adding in her head. "About thirteen hours. I had to drag it out of Patrick last night when I called and he answered."

"He asked you to come?" MaryHelen seemed skeptical.

Elizabeth laughed. "Of course not. You are the only one that knows I'm here. It was about 4 AM when I got in and I figured it would be just as easy to come here instead of waking everyone else up."

"Does Henry know?" There was a look of fear in her eyes that made Elizabeth understand why she hadn't told them, but at the same time, she wasn't going to excuse it.

"No." Elizabeth let the silence hang in the air for a while. "I have strong feelings about that."

"I know, and with good reason too, but you didn't get to make that decision. I did. I had no reason to believe that I wouldn't be around to see him come home and I know that Henry would have been preoccupied worrying about me, which he could do nothing about. I couldn't take the chance that-that something might happen to him and I would be the cause."

Elizabeth thought about that for a while before she spoke. "What happened to God's plan and it not being your time to die or when it's your time it will happen no matter what?"

MaryHelen leaned back into the pillow and closed her eyes. "Of course you would bring that up." She chuckled mostly to herself. "Faith is kind of a funny thing. I believe all of that. I really do. But then, there's that part of me that knows that if something happened to Henry and I had told him, I could never forgive myself. I would shoulder that blame even if it wasn't mine."

"I consider you to be a very faith filled person. I can't decide if it comforts me or unnerves me that you struggle with carrying your faith through." Elizabeth looked down at her hands.

"There are very few people that never struggle with maintaining faith. We're human. We doubt. Faith is overcoming the doubt. For some it works more often that not and in others, not so much. There's no right answer or formula for getting it right, or everyone would be doing it."

Elizabeth stood and kissed her forehead. You should get some rest. I'm guessing the doctor will be in for rounds in a while. We want him to see you well rested." Elizabeth returned to the couch by the window and MaryHelen closed her eyes.

It was three more days before MaryHelen was released. Elizabeth stayed in the hospital with her and only went back to the house to shower and catch a nap in the evening while Patrick . Once MaryHelen came home, Elizabeth stayed two weeks, until she had recovered from her first post-infection cancer treatment.

The afternoon before Elizabeth was going to leave, she was sitting with MaryHelen in the living room. "Is there anything I can get you?" Elizabeth asked. MaryHelen shifted her position slightly on the couch.

"No, I'm fine, but I do want to talk to you." She motioned Elizabeth over, who crossed the space and sat on the floor next to the couch where MaryHelen rested. "I don't know if you will ever comprehend how much Patrick and I appreciate you coming. You being here has been an incredible blessing. It means even more that you didn't have you come, but you chose to." Tears were welling up in MaryHelen's eyes.

"I told you quite a while ago that this family would always be a priority. And it is. And besides, I need you to get you better. One of these days, I hope there will be a baby McCord and when that happens, you're going to need to help me figure it all out."

MaryHelen chuckled. "I'm not planning on going anywhere. I would love the opportunity to help you, but I think you underestimate your own skills. You and Henry will be fine when the time comes. Love covers lots of the gaps in skill."

She let her head rest against MaryHelen's side, and MaryHelen ran her fingers through Elizabeth's hair. "I'm glad you think so," Elizabeth said. "It terrifies me. The good news is that we've got time."

July 1993

Elizabeth sat in a chair next to the phone, strumming her fingers on the wooden arm. It was Sunday evening and she was waiting for Henry to call. Henry's deployment was drawing to a close. He had a little over two weeks left and she had not quite four weeks before she returned from London. Henry had wanted to fly straight to London and stay the week and a half with her, but she had talked him into going to Pittsburgh to see his mom instead. He hadn't inquired as to why when they talked about it, but having already talked to MaryHelen earlier in day, she knew that Henry had called his mom and she would likely have to field the questions tonight. Elizabeth knew Henry would be angry that she didn't tell him. She only hoped he would understand why.

The ringing of the phone startled her and she picked up quickly, "Hello?"

"Hi babe. How are you?" Henry asked.

"I'm good. Sundays are my favorite days because I get to talk to everyone. How was your week?" Elizabeth asked, subconsciously steering the direction of the conversation away from MaryHelen.

"It was fine. Some of the guys started leaving yesterday, so it's getting real. Just a couple more weeks."

"I know. I can't wait until you are back home. I can't wait until I'm back home with you."

"I called mom today." Henry started.

"I know. She told me when I talked to her just a bit ago. Did you have a nice conversation?"

"Do you know what's going on?" Henry asked. Elizabeth pondered that a second, trying to decide if she meant what she thought he meant. "At home," he continued, "Something's wrong with them. I could tell. Mom's voice was-I don't know-just off somehow."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. He hadn't directly asked, but any vague answer she gave at this point would be more than a lie of omission. "Henry, she's sick." She heard the air leave his body as though he'd been kicked in the chest. It took a minute for him to ask the next question.

"How sick?" he managed to ask.

"Ovarian cancer. I think she had a pretty good prognosis, but she had an infection and missed some treatments. They are waiting to catch up on those before testing again." They sat in silence while Henry processed what she'd told him.

"When did all of this happen?"

"I'm not exactly sure when they found it. I know that she knew before you left for deployment." He sighed. "I'm sorry Henry."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Have you known the whole time?" he finally asked.

"No," she said quickly, then paused, "I found out about six weeks ago when she had the infection. I only figured it out because your Dad answered the phone. I went back to PIttsburgh and spent two weeks with your Mom was in the hospital and then a while after until she was well enough to have her next treatment."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should've told me."

"I didn't tell you because your mom asked me not to. I told her that if you ever asked, I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't bring it up otherwise. I didn't agree with it, but she was quick to tell me that it wasn't my decision. You asked, and I'm telling you. Like I said, I'm sorry."

"I'm guessing this is why you talked me into going home instead of staying with you when I'm released."

"I'd ten times rather be in London with you, but I wanted you to see your mom so she could tell you, and you two could spend some time together."

"I'm annoyed that I wasn't told, but supposed I can understand her reasoning and i love that you honored my mom's wishes. I know that was hard."

August 1993

Elizabeth was giddy with anticipation as the plane touched down. She was finally home from her stint with British Intelligence and couldn't wait to get back to her regular life. Henry returned ten days ago and had spent that time with his parents. MaryHelen was doing well and was almost finished with her treatments. It seemed like the prognosis was good. But, he was back now and should be waiting for her at the gate.

She was on edge as she tried to be patient once they landed and taxied, so very slowly, to the gate. "For the love of God, could you stop," Isabelle smacked her arm.

"Ow! What?" Elziabether said, rubbing her arm.

"You're bouncing all over that seat and it's driving me crazy. You'll see him soon. Geez!" Isabelle rolled her eyes and Juliet laughed.

"Go ahead and bounce. Isabelle's just jealous that you have someone to welcome you home," Juliet said.

"Damn right," Isabelle huffed.

"I don't understand why you can't win a guy over with your award winning personality," Elizabeth rolled her eyes and Juliet laughed.

The plane finally pulled up to the jetway and they got the go ahead to deboard. Elizabeth fought the urge to jump over all of the other people to get out first. She waited her turn, and followed with the rest of the herd. As the opening widened into the room, Elizabeth scanned the crowd for Henry. Finally she spotted him off to one side. Smiling widely, her heart nearly burst from her chest as she bounded up to him and threw her arms around his neck. "Henry," she murmured into his ear as he held her tight. She kissed him fiercely.

"Get a room," Isabelle said, walking up behind Elizabeth.

"Oh shut up," Elizabeth threw back, not moving from Henry's embrace.

"Hi, Isabelle," Henry said, "and you must be Juliet." Henry extended his hand to her, Elizabeth still clinging to him.

"Nice to meet you Henry. I think Elizabeth missed you." Juliet commented.

"I missed her just as much," Henry said. "Isabelle, nice to see you, as always and Juliet, nice to meet you. If you ladies don't mind, we're going home."

"Yeah, see you Monday," Elizabeth sadi, not moving from the crook of Henry's neck.

Elizabeth giggled against Henry when she heard Isabelle say to Juliet, "The two of them make me want to puke. You wanna go get drunk?"

Once they were in the car, Elizabeth inquired about MaryHelen's health. "She's doing good. Only one more treatment and then she gets a recheck, but she's feeling better. We spent a lot of time together and she's positive about the whole thing. She did mention that she was coming to help us when we have a baby." Henry shot her a sideways look. "Should I be reading anything into that statement?"

Elizabeth grinned, "I don't know. What would you like to read into it?"

"That you're ready."

She leaned across the console and put her head on his arm. "I've definitely warmed up to the idea. I was thinking about not actively preventing for a few months and see what happens. Even if I get pregnant right away, the baby wouldn't come unit you are almost done with your enlistment, so we don't have to worry about you being deployed, which has always been my biggest issue. Talking with your mom helped too."

Henry reached up and cupped her cheek and kissed the top of her head. "I love you and I can't wait to get started on the rest of our lives."


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: Happy Memorial Day (well tomorrow)! Thinking of all those who died in service to our country to allow us to keep the freedoms we have! And to their families who made the sacrifice with their solider.

There is an M rated section in the middle, so just skip over that if it isn't your thing. I marked the beginning and end.

Chapter 69

February 1994

Elizabeth slid down the bathroom door and sat on the cold tile floor and berated herself for being so emotional while tears slid down her face. "It's not even like you are trying and you keep saying you aren't sure you're ready, so why is this so upsetting? You should be happy," Elizabeth muttered under her breath.

There came a soft knocking at the door. "Babe, are you almost ready? You've been in there a long time."

Elizabeth scrambled off the floor suddenly needing Henry, her need outweighing any embarrassment she might have at her overreaction. She threw the door open and fell into his arms. Henry was surprised, but scooped her into his embrace. "What's wrong babe?"

Elizabeth sobbed into his shoulder. "It's so dumb. I don't even know why I'm this upset." She continued to sob uncontrollably.

"It's okay babe. Take a deep breath. I got you," he whispered against her ear. He pulled them both back toward the bed and sat down with Elizabeth on his lap. When her crying slowed to the occasional shudder, he asked, "What's this all about?"

She looked up at Henry, her eyes still brimming with tears. "I started my period today."

"Oh. And you were hoping that maybe?" Henry stopped there.

"Yes. No. I didn't think so. I don't know." Elizabeth covered her face with her hands. That's what makes it so dumb. I just-I just thought it probably would've happened by now." She leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her tighter. "I'm still not sure I'm ready but I thought that when it happened, it would force me to get ready because it was happening and now, every month I have this build up where I get ready for it to happen and it doesn't _._ The first couple months it was relief and it has morphed into this thing." She gestured to her face. "I'm all sad and weepy and I don't know why. It feels-" Elizabeth stopped to think about it.

"Empty?" Henry offered.

Elizabeth thought about that. "Maybe."

"I'm sorry babe." Henry pulled her head down to kiss her forehead and then he kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine. Thanks for listening to me drone on. You're going to be late. Besides it God's timing and all that jazz, right?"

Henry grinned at her. "Something like that."

Elizabeth stood, dried her eyes and went to get ready for work herself.

April 1994

Henry walked in the door of their apartment and the aroma of fresh baked bread and grilled meat. Elizabeth was in the kitchen putting dinner on their plates. "What's the occasion Mrs. McCord?"

Forking the steak onto his plate next to the dinner roll, baked potato and green beans, she smiled and said, "It's a celebratory dinner for my Captain." Elizabeth tossed the take out boxes into the trash and handed him a plate, then stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Let's eat."

The couple shared a meal and talked about the day's events. After the bombing of the World Trade Center some 15 months before, Elizabeth, Juliet and Isabelle had been moved to the Middle East desk under the direction of their former internship supervisor, George. There were several others, but George's team was elite and it was noticed by all, especially Director Dalton. With increased responsibility came increased stress, but Elizabeth reveled in it. She was truly in her element. She only talked in generalities but he could tell how much she loved her work.

Henry felt guilty bringing up the subject with all the Elizabeth was in the middle of. He sat quietly and listened to her talk about Isabelle's latest outlandish outburst. As Elizabeth neared the end of her story, she noticed Henry seemed a little off. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Umm, yeah. I've just been thinking about something. I don't know if it's the right time. Maybe I should wait."

"What Henry? "

"I was thinking about grad school, about getting my master's. But, I don't think it's the right time. You were supposed to get yours first and life happened and it didn't and I just don't know. I feel like I should be even thinking about it."

"I think it's a wonderful idea. I would love to have you around the house more. You've been gone so much and you could try being a couch potato for a while." She smiled.

Henry cringed, "A couch potato. Babe that's never been me."

Elizabeth moved to sit on Henry's lap. "But it could be." Leaning in, she whispered, "You know, if you wanted, you could split your time between class and pulling daddy duty."

Henry pushed her back so he could see her properly. He wore a wide grin and his eyes twinkled. "Really? You want to have a baby?"

Elizabeth met Henry's lips as she said, "Yes. I want us to have a baby." Henry suddenly shifted Elizabeth off his lap and stood so she ended up clinging to him like a koala. "What are you doing?" she giggled.

"I think our evening plans just changed." Henry planted a quick kiss on her lips before heading to the bedroom. She gripped both sides of the doorframe as he tried to pass through.

"Hey, wait. We didn't do the dishes. Or clean of the table. Or pack lunches."

"So?" Henry grinned wickedly at her. "I just want to get started right away." He captured her lips in a kiss.

Pulling away, she said, "You know full well that it's too late in the month.'

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't practice for the real thing." Elizabeth laughed as Henry pushed ahead and she lost her grip on the doorframe.

"This might be a fun fun weeks." She wholeheartedly laughed as Henry tossed her on the bed and climbed up her body.

"I think it will be a good time for all involved!"

July 1994

It was almost dusk and they sat cross-legged on a white sheet in the oppressive heat. "Why was it that we thought it was a good idea to come to the National Mall for fireworks?" Henry asked.

"Because you are newly retired from the Marines, and you've been accepted to grad school, and you have a freelance job offer from that one place that we don't get to talk about, and we've never actually spent the 4th of July together since we've been together." Elizabeth leaned back on her arms.

"What about when I was at Quantico?" he asked.

We did spend the weekend before together, but the actual 4th, I think you were on duty or something." Elizabeth responded.

"Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that." Henry looked at Elizabeth, leaning back, legs now stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankle. Her denim shorts had frayed edges the fell high up on her thigh, and white tank top suctioned to her chest by perspiration. Beads of sweat were visible at her hairline. Henry watched as a bead of sweat rolled down her neck, gathering speed as it slipped between her breasts. Henry licked his lips.

Elizabeth had been looking at the crowd and her gaze settled on Henry. She knew that look. "Henry," she said blushing under his intense stare.

"Yeah?" he asked, not shifting his eyes.

"Stop it!" Elizabeth hissed.

"Stop what?" Henry said, giving his best innocent expression.

"Can we please just watch the fireworks?" she pleaded.

He grinned. "Absolutely, but I call dibs on activity planning when we get home." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her sweaty cheek.

"Deal." As the sun disappeared below the horizon, the temperature dropped slightly and the breeze made the evening palatable. The first explosions in the sky above them were breathtaking. Elizabeth was mesmerized by the colors. "Look at it Henry. It's beautiful!"

Henry had yet to look into the sky, his focus was on his wife who sat staring into the black sky, a wide smile plastered across her face. "You are." She glanced at him and scooted closer. He wrapped his arm around her waist and they watched the rest of the fireworks together.

After the finale, they stood and gathered the sheet and cooler they brought. They walked the few blocks to the Metro and rode several stops down the line and out of the crowds, where they picked up their car. Driving home, they were silent, Elizabeth relishing the firework display and Henry imagining the evening ahead.

They walked in the door and set their things down. Elizabeth said, "I'm going to take a quick shower."

Henry reached around her from behind. "Not yet." Pulling her to him, he moved her ponytail to the side and kissed the back of her neck.

"Henry, I feel sticky from being all sweaty earlier."

RATED M

"You'll waste that shower, because you're just going to get sweaty again."

Elizabeth turned slightly and looked over her shoulder. "Oh?"

"You said I could be in charge of the evening activities. I have several things planned." Henry grasped the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head and tossed it behind him. "That's better," he said, cupping her breasts and massaging them, her nipples becoming erect under the lace bra.

"Henry," she half whispered, half moaned. "The blinds." Shooting a glance across the room, he saw that the living room blinds were opened.

Henry grinned against her shoulder as he kissed her, his chest pressed to her back. "How do you feel about putting on a show?"

"No," she screeched before tearing away from him and disappearing in the bedroom. Henry chuckled. "Just checking," he called to her.

Before following her, Henry walked over to the window and dropped the blinds, just in case they ended up back in the living room at some later point in time.

Leaning in the doorway, Henry smirked at Elizabeth, who was now undressed and sitting on her heels on their bed. "Looks like someone decided she liked my plan."

"I don't ever recall saying I didn't. Now get over here." It took only a second to cross the room and stand at the edge of the bed, towering over her. She reached out and pulled his t-shirt from the waistband of his shorts. Raising up on her knees, she tugged the shirt over his head with a little assistance from him, and went to work on his pants. Loosening the belt and freeing the button, she pushed both shorts and boxers down together. She wrapped her long, slender fingers around his erection. Henry groaned, and pulled her hand off of him.

"This is all about you tonight, babe." He took her hand and helped her lay back against the pillows. When she was settled, he lay down beside her and ghosted his fingers up her side before descending on her lips, taking her lower lip between his. He started sucking gently, but became more aggressive when she rolled her hips into his groin.

His tongue forced its way into her mouth and, while the ferocity of it took her by surprise, she willingly accepted it and returned in equal measure. She pulled away from his mouth and tipped her head back inviting him to work his way down. She murmured faint words of appreciation as he nibbled her collarbone and pinched a nipple and rolled it between his fingers. Finally his mouth caught up and took the taut peak in his mouth. He wasted no time, swirling his tongue around before sucking hard. Elizabeth's hips involuntarily thrust into his as a shriek escaped her lips. He immediately turned his attention to the other breast giving it the same treatment.

"God Henry, please," she begged. He pulled his mouth from her breast with a popping sound that caused him to grin and he kissed his way down her stomach. Elizabeth tightened her fists in his hair and drug him back up her body. "in me," she gasped between pants. She released Henry's hair and reached down to stroke his penis, pulling him toward her folds now slick with the anticipation of him.

"Let me go," he said as he tugged her hand away, lining himself up with her opening. He made eye contact to make sure she was ready for him. Her pupils were dark and wanting and her hips were pushing into him.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Henry pushed his entire length into her, causing them both to cry out, the feeling of fullness giving way to a deep wanting that needed to be fulfilled.. He gave Elizabeth a few seconds to adjust and then started a slow, but firm rhythm.

Chasing her release, she wrapped her legs around his waist and angled her hips to pull him in deeper. Henry groaned at the change and thrust deeper than he thought he could, or maybe should, go. In the split second that elapsed, Elizabeth let out a strangled moan that was definitely not indicative of pain. Her sounds of pleasure ignited something in Henry that he'd never felt before. It was a deep need to be one, to be connected forever.

Feeling the same, Elizabeth roughly grabbed his head and pulled him to her lips. Their movements became frantic as they neared their climax. "Close?" she asked, her voice breathy and high pitched.

"Uh," was all he all he was able to manage, as his release was looming close. Elizabeth slipped her hand between them and rubbed her clit as she tightened her legs around Henry. Her muscles clenched around Henry causing him to explode inside of her. They both stiffened as they rode out their orgasm. Minutes later, they lay, limbs tangled, sweat mixed and thoroughly sated.

END OF M RATED

"That-may well have been the best sex we've ever had." Elizabeth said breathlessly, still not having fully gained her regular breathing back.

"Mmm," Henry agreed. "Monumental even. For the record, I totally had other plans for the shower and the couch and maybe even the kitchen counter, but I really don't think we could top what we just did." He exhaled against her ribs.

"Doubtful," she murmured. "I need to shower so bad, but I cannot bring myself to move."

"Let's just stay here and we'll shower together in the morning."

"Mmm hmm," was all Elizabeth was able to say before she fell asleep.

August 1994

Elizabeth walked out of the bedroom, her NFP folder in her hand. She walked straight up to Henry who was laying on the couch reading. She dropped the folder in his lap.

Closing his book, he picked up the folder. "I assume you want me to look at this," he said. She nodded, all the while biting her lip. Opening the folder, he studied the piece of paper. He placed July's paper face down against his chest and looked at the month of June, then May and April for good measure. Then he neatly stacked all of the papers and replaced them in the folder. He stood and grinned at Elizabeth who was grinning back at him. "Your temperature never dropped." She shook her head. "How many days late are you?"

"Eight," she said softly. Tears were threatening to fall, but she didn't want to cry. She was happy. Ecstatic even. Damned emotions.

"Do you want to take a trip to the drugstore to be sure?" Henry asked.

"I think we should."

Half an hour later, they sat side by side on the end of their bed, watching the clock on the dresser tick the seconds by. The pregnancy test lay upside down next to the clock. "It's time," Henry said.

Elizabeth stood and crossed the small distance to the dresser and picked up the test and carried it back and sat down next to Henry. He draped his arm over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I'm nervous about what it's going to say, either way." She met his gaze and he understood both her fear of facing the next milestone in her life without her parents and also the fear that if another month had passed without conception, it may indicate a greater problem..

"Either way, we will be fine. We have each other." Henry gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Ready?"

Nodding, she turned the plastic stick over in her hand. Tears sprung from her eyes and she fell back on the bed and laughed, her heart full of joy-scared to death, but happy. Henry leaned over and kissed her. "We made a baby," she said, still beaming.

"We did. Does this mean I get to call you Mama now?"

"Uh, no, that's weird," she said and laughed again.

Henry slid off the end of the bed and positioned himself between Elizabeth's legs. She propped herself up on her elbows to watch him. He pushed her t-shirt up just a bit pulled the waistband of her sweats down just enough to place a kiss on her lower abdomen. "Hi baby. Daddy loves you." He lay his head on her and they intertwined their fingers. "Dear God, Protect our baby and always help her-"

"Or him, Elizabeth interjected."

Henry nodded, "To know how loved and treasured she-or he- is by us and by You. Help us to be good parents and good examples of how to live for Your glory. Amen."

"Amen," she murmured.


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 70

November 1994

Henry pulled into the driveway and stopped at the guard house. Elizabeth hopped out of the car in the wind and snow to greet Otto before going up the drive for their Thanksgiving visit with Geoffrey. Henry watched the pair exchange pleasantries and was always amazed at how connected the older man was to Elizabeth. He was most certainly a father figure to her and he gave thanks that Otto was around to be that to her when her own father had passed.

Climbing back into the car, they made their way up the long drive and parked in front of the front door, making unloading their luggage easier. Frederick had the door open before they could even get to the top step and insisted on helping Henry get their bags. Elizabeth disappeared into the house seeking out her Uncle Geoffrey. She found him in the study and he popped up as soon as she opened the door and pulled her into a big hug.

Elizabeth and Henry had been waiting to share the news of their upcoming arrival until they could do it in person. She hoped that he didn't notice her growing stomach when he hugged her. She didn't think so, because she didn't think he would be able to keep quiet if he knew. Henry made his way into the study and greeted Geoffrey as well. The three sat down, Elizabeth slipping her coat off once she sat down, so as not to give away her secret too soon. Henry handed older man the wrapped package he'd been holding.

"What's this?" Geoffrey asked.

"Just a little something for you." Elizabeth answered.

Geoffrey smiled and tore the paper off of the box. Opening it, he saw that it was a shirt. Holding it up, he read it. It said, "World's best Great Uncle." It had a big x over the Great Uncle and underneath it said "Grandpa Elect." Immediately he dropped it on the floor and pulled Elizabeth from her spot. "Really?" he asked, tears already gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I've been waiting for this for a long time."

"I know," she said. "Do you want to see a picture of her?"

"Her?" Geoffrey asked, near sobbing. Elizabeth pulled a roll of ultrasound pictures from her coat pocket.

"Here she is," Elizabeth said. "Do you want me to explain them? The first time I saw them, I had no idea what I was looking at."

Geoffrey laughed through his tears. "Those are little feet."

"Yes, and she's waving her little hand this one. And this one shows her organs. Heart. Kidneys, Lungs. And most definitely a girl."

Geoffrey looked at Elizabeth. "This is the best gift you could ever given me. Do you know that?" He hugged Elizabeth again He looked down at Elizabeth's loose fitting sweater over the now obvious baby bump.

Elizabeth watched him intently and she knew what he wanted to ask, but was too embarrassed to. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "Based on the pictures and the way she's been kicking, her head is right here and her feet are over here."

Henry watched all of this play out before him and he found himself a little misty-eyed. He knew Geoffrey would be overjoyed, but Elizabeth had some trepidation given their somewhat strained past. That, and she still struggled with her parents' absence at each milestone of this pregnancy. He was happy that they were finally able to tell Geoffrey, so he could now be involved. Henry knew Geoffrey would want to be there for Elizabeth and the baby.

They spent a couple days with Geoffrey and they were able to visit with all of Elizabeth's friends. Manny and Maria brought Gianna over, now nearly 4 years old. It always amazed Elizabeth that regardless of the amount of time that had passed, Gianna always gravitated toward Henry and this visit was the same. She leaned in the doorway watching as he sat cross legged on the floor of the formal living room holding a tea party Gianna, Geoffrey and several of her stuffed animals. Suddenly Elizabeth found herself tearing up thinking that one day, sooner than later, Henry would be doing the same thing with their daughter. She placed her hand on her stomach and rubbed gently, "You're going to be daddy's little girl," she whispered.

She closed her eyes and thanked God for Henry. Elizabeth reflected on that. She found herself giving thanks frequently now. Sometimes, she didn't necessarily think God had anything to do with the situation at hand, but she was thankful, so it seemed reasonable to give him the credit, rather than thinking that it was just luck that things were going well. Elizabeth sensed Henry's presence and opened her eyes just a moment before he pressed his lips to hers. "You doing okay, babe?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm better than okay. I'm great," she said. "I love you Henry McCord."

"You should. I'm pretty cool," he teased and she swatted him.

"You are rotten."

"And yet, you love me in spite of it." She grinned and kissed him again, conveying full agreement.

Henry and Elizabeth had their bags packed and were ready to go early Thanksgiving morning to make the long drive to Pittsburgh. They planned to arrive just in time to have an evening meal with Henry's family and share the good news with them. Of course, Maureen had her baby and they had been to see Thomas Jr, known as Tommy., just a week or so before Elizabeth found out she was pregnant. So, their news may not be quite as exciting to his family since they just experienced the whole new baby thing, but Elizabeth thought it was nice that the oldest cousins to be somewhat close in age.

They said their goodbyes to Geoffrey and Frederick and made tentative plans for Christmas. Giving hugs and well wishes, the McCords were on the road as the sun rose. They drove nearly straight through, only stopping for gas and a couple times for Elizabeth to walk around for a few minutes to keep from getting stir crazy in the car. Pulling in front of the house at 4PM, both were anxious to be somewhere other than the car. The couple grabbed their luggage and headed in.

Everyone was already present. Shane and Erin home from college, and Shane had brought his girlfriend, Jennifer, with him. Maureen, Tom and the baby, and then Patrick and MaryHelen. The women were in the kitchen. Shane, Patrick and Tom were watching football. She assumed the baby was sleeping. Shane stood to welcome Henry and Elizabeth. Patrick and Tom just nodded their greeting. MaryHelen heard the commotion and emerged from the kitchen to greet her son and his wife. "I've got to get back to basting the turkey. Elizabeth, do you want to join us?" She leaned in, "We opened the wine."

Elizabeth smiled, "I think Henry has something to give you real quick first if you don't mind," she said. She nudged Henry, who was staring off into space and suddenly was shaken back to reality.

"Oh yes. Hold on." He retreated to the luggage that was sitting near the front door and fished a box out of the front pocket. He handed it to his mom, and said, "This is for you and dad." MaryHelen accepted the box and went and sat on the arm of the recliner that Patrick was sitting in.

"What's this?" he asked gruffly. "Christmas isn't for another month."

"We know Christmas is still a few weeks out, but we wanted you to have this now," Elizabeth said, refusing to be bothered by Patrick's general grouchy attitude.

"How fun!" MaryHelen exclaimed as she tore the paper from the box. "Here, you open it." She handed the box to Patrick. Patrick sounded exasperated as he took the box and Elizabeth fought the urge to walk over and smack him in the head. She plastered on a smile instead. Opening the flap on the box, he carefully removed the ball of tissue paper and began to unwrap it. In the center was a Christmas ornament, a porcelain baby cradle. One side had delicate gold lettering that read, "Grandparents to be 1994." The other side read, "Baby Girl McCord arriving April 1995"

Patrick looked up at Henry. "Really?" Henry nodded. "Well, it's about damn time." Elizabeth felt Henry tense, waiting for Patrick to say something more, but he didn't. He stood, handed the ornament to MaryHelen and gave both of them a hug. MaryHelen was about ten seconds behind because she didn't get to read it at the same time Patrick had. When Patrick released Henry, Henry saw his mom still sitting on the arm of the chair weeping.

"Mom. What's wrong?" He went to her and knelt down in front of her.

"Oh Henry. Nothing's wrong. I'm just happy. Two babies in less than a year. Can you imagine?" Henry stood and helped his mom to her feet. She hugged him and then Elizabeth. "Congratulations dear," MaryHelen said.

Elizabeth leaned in, whispering, "I hope you are prepared to move to Virginia for a period of time to make sure we do this thing right."

"I wouldn't make plans to be anywhere else."

As if on cue, they all heard the cry of Tommy from one of the upstairs bedrooms where he'd been napping. Standing in the kitchen doorway, Maureen said, "If you want to start practicing now, feel free to get him." Probably if anyone else had said the same thing, Elizabeth wouldn't have thought twice, but coming from Maureen, she felt it had a challenge in it and it annoyed and infuriated her at the same time.

"Sure. I'll go get him for you." Elizabeth said, mustering as much enthusiasm as she could. She trotted up the steps and followed the wails to what had previously been the boys room. Opening the door, she saw baby Tommy in his playpen. He stopped crying when he saw that someone had heard his plea to be removed. Leaning over the side, Elizabeth scooped him up. He had doubled in size since she'd last seen him, Elizabeth thought. She had a bit of trouble figuring out how to carry Tommy and accommodate her growing belly. She tried setting him on her hip, but he didn't seem secure, although he didn't fuss. Eventually Elizabeth opted just to sit him on her bump and wrap her arms around him. Tommy lay down against her and snuggled against her shoulder. She smiled. This was a success as far as she was concerned.

She was just getting ready to head downstairs when she saw Henry grinning at her from the door. "Look at you," he said, "You're a natural." Elizabeth smiled back. She actually was both surprised and happy about the situation. Not that picking up a baby was a huge thing, but she had so little experience with babies, that being able to keep Tommy quiet and happy was a big thing to her.

"Are there diapers up here?" Henry asked. "If so, we should probably change him before we go down."

"Oh," Elizabeth said. She hadn't even thought of that. She had so much to learn. Henry spied a bag on the end of the bed and peeked inside. Sure enough, it was the diaper bag.

"Alright. It's been quite a while since I've done this," Henry said, "But surely it's a skill you don't forget, right?" Elizabeth nodded. She hoped so, because she didn't think she would be much help.

Henry pulled out a blanket and spread it out on the bed. Then he fished out a diaper and a package of wipes and pulled a couple out. "Okay. Lay Tommy on the blanket." Elizabeth did as she was told and Tom's lip immediately curled and he whimpered. "Aww, he misses you babe." Henry said.

Henry pulled Tom's pants off and pulled the tabs on the diaper. He opened it. Elizabeth let out a breath, thankful that he was just wet. She was hoping not to have to tackle that on the first time. Henry expertly rolled the diaper up and set it aside. He wiped Tom off with the wipe, tucked it into the wet diaper and pulled out the new one. "Want to try?" he asked.

"Umm, sure." Elizabeth's voice was less than confident.

"Just start by unfolding it and the part with the velcro tabs go under him." Henry instructed.

"Like this?" Elizabeth asked. Henry nodded and Elizabeth slipped it under the baby's bottom.

"A little higher, so that the front and the back end up close to the same height."

"That makes sense," She scooted the back a little higher and then pulled the front between the baby's legs and fastened it. "How's that?" she asked.

"Pretty good for a first timer. The only thing is that it needs to be a little tighter so nothing leaks out." Elizabeth saw that it was loose and fixed it. "How about now?"

"Perfect." She slipped Tommy's pants back on him. Henry looked at Elizabeth and she picked up the baby and set him back down on her own baby bump and watched little Tommy curl into her shoulder. "I love you so much," he said, leaning in and giving her a kiss.

"I love you too. Let's go back down and be with your family."

Walking down the stairs, Elizabeth felt satisfaction at the slightly annoyed look that Maureen wore seeing that Tommy was completely content with Elizabeth. "If you want a break, I'll hold him for you." Elizabeth offered.

"Sure. Knock yourself out. You aren't much help in the kitchen anyway. Just let me know when he's hungry." Maureen disappeared into the kitchen. Elizabeth tried not to be offended, but it was difficult. She soothed herself with the small victory with Tommy and sat in the recliner with him cuddling up against her still drowsy after his nap. About half an hour later, Tommy started squirming. Elizabeth shifted positions, but it didn't help. He started to whimper and Tom glanced over, saw Tommy and shouted into the kitchen, "Maureen. Baby's hungry."

Maureen walked out of the kitchen and surveyed the situation. "Just a minute," she said and disappeared back into the kitchen. She returned a couple minutes later. By this point, Tommy was writhing on Elizabeth's lap. Maureen, scooped him up. "Can I have this chair?" she asked. Elizabeth was slightly confused, but moved to a spot on the couch. Maureen grabbed a throw pillow from the floor and plopped down in the chair. Within seconds, Maureen was sitting cross legged in the chair, pillow in her lap with Tommy latched on to her breast, his little hand gripping the collar of Maureen's shirt, completely content.

Unintentionally, Elizabeth stared at Maureen, her mouth open in shock. Maureen looked over and muttered under her breath, "If you say one negative word, so help me, I will come unglued."

Elizabeth snapped out of her reverie. "No. Not at all. I was thinking that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. You completely calmed Tommy down, instantly."

Maureen rolled her eyes. "I'm just feeding him. Although I've found that it also works wonders for teething, sickness, boredom, shots, and lots of things. It's like I have wonder tits." Elizabeth erupted in a fit of giggles. "You don't need to blow sunshine up my ass," Maureen retorted, "but I've listened to about all the bad mouthing about breastfeeding I can handle, so consider yourself lucky you didn't get on the bad side of that.

"Duly noted," Elizabeth said, "But for the record, I've never felt the need to blow sunshine anywhere in your direction, well except maybe when you did the hall for our wedding, that was sunshine worthy." Elizabeth stopped, gauging if she should say what she actually thought. She proceeded, with the expectation of getting slammed. "I hope I can be as good a mom as you are."

"You can try, but it will be a challenge." Maureen deadpanned.

Elizabeth let out a single laugh. "It would kill you to be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Let's just say I don't want to take the chance." Maureen said. Elizabeth just shook her head. Maureen was so very Maureen.


	71. Chapter 71

A/N: I got a little carried away. My only excuse is, well, babies. And labor. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 71

The next few months seemed to simultaneously fly by and crawl at a snail's pace. Henry was busy with school and he had been on a handful of short term ops for the NSA. Thankfully, it was nothing that took him away from home for more than a couple days at a time. Elizabeth struggled with Henry being gone, but did her best not to let it show. She didn't want Henry to be worrying about her when he was out in the field.

Elizabeth, Isabelle and Juliet were swamped. Between working through endless amounts of radio traffic, correspondence and video surveillance, they could barely tread water. Then, of course they had the stress of George, who was on assignment in Syria and kept doing crazy things to nearly blow his cover.

The days were so busy and so fast that Elizabeth barely had a chance to breathe. It was the quiet of the night where time only creeped by. Falling asleep was usually easy. Relaxed by a skillfully executed massage or fully sated by a passionate yet increasingly awkward round of lovemaking, Elizabeth and Henry would drift off, limbs tangled together. Inevitably, she would wake after a few hours, to go to the bathroom, to change position, or just to hang out with the little person that thought doing acrobatics at 3AM was great fun. It was in those hours that Elizabeth felt all of the insecurities, fear and sadness. Silent tears would fall.

Sometimes she cried because of the realities of the world that their baby was being born into. Other times it was due to feelings of her own inadequacy. Often, Elizabeth cried with a deep longing for her own mother to witness her as grown woman about to become a mother herself and all the love and advice that came with it.

One particular evening in late February, an almost 8 month pregnant Elizabeth rolled to her side and pushed herself up to a sitting position on the side of the bed. The weight of a baby was on her bladder and the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Picking up her glasses from the nightstand, she trudged to the bathroom for the third time in as many hours.

Knowing sleep would evade her for at least an hour, she picked up her copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting, sat down on the couch,and opened to the bookmarked page. The new chapter was entitled "The Working Mother." It probably stated some positives of being a working mom, but Elizabeth didn't comprehend any of those. Having had a terribly stressful week at work, Elizabeth only saw the negatives: finding a good daycare, increased instances of childhood illness, loss of work due to those illnesses, breastfeeding difficulties, and more.

In that moment everything seemed so overwhelming. Work was demanding. She couldn't be running off every little bit. Lives depended on her doing her job. How was she going to manage both? Her own mother stayed at home. Henry's mom worked three days a week as a nurse and was home the rest of the time. Maria took Gianna to work with her. Maureen worked part-time in the evening so Tom was able to be home with Tommy. Elizabeth didn't have any of those options available to her. She often worked 10 hours a day, five, and sometimes six, days a week. How could she possibly be a good mother? Her baby wouldn't even know her. Tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to talk to herself rationally, but the doubt would not be tamped down. A sob escaped and once out, she had no chance of holding the rest back. She buried her face in a pillow, hoping not to wake Henry.

Henry stirred in the other room and reaching out, felt the empty spot in the bed. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and then he heard the muffled sound of crying. Sticking his head through the doorway, he saw Elizabeth collapsed on the couch. He went to her and picked her torso up and slid underneath her. Cradling her head on his lap, he rubbed her back whispering, "It's okay babe. Shh." He spoke softly to her until she started to calm down. "What's wrong?"

Elizabeth took a shuddering breath. "Henry, I am going to have to choose between my job and our baby. I can't just quit."

"Whoa! What are you talking about?" The crying started again. Henry was at a loss to say anything, so he just pulled her against him, held her tight, and waited for it to pass.

"If I keep working the way I am, the way I need to, how will I be there for the baby? I don't want to quit. I love my job, and I don't know if I can step away." Elizabeth buried her head in Henry's shoulder.

"We'll figure it out when the time comes. I promise babe. You don't have to make any decisions now."

"Henry I don't know-l"

"Shhh," he cut her off. "You are already a great mom, and I know that whatever our baby needs, you will make it happen. Please try to stop worrying. It isn't helpful and it isn't good for the baby. I want both of my girls healthy. Come on, let's go back to bed. If you can't sleep, I'm sure we can come up with some sort of activity to pass the time." He winked at her.

"Are you trying to use sex to get me out of my funk?" she asked, wiping her tears.

"It's one of the tools I have at my disposal." Henry grinned. "And the upside of this whole hormone induced emotion thing is that you are always horny."

"Shut up." She smacked his arm. "Don't make fun of me."

He raised his eyebrows at her, and pulled her to her feet. "Seriously? Do you think I would make fun of that? I think that is one of the best side effects of this pregnancy thing."

She laughed, a real laugh, and he knew he had her. He pulled her close. "I know it's a lot and it's scary, but you are going to be fabulous. Do you know how I know?" Elizabeth shook her head. "You are an unstoppable force. You succeed at anything you put your mind to. It may be tough, but you always come out on top. Always." He pulled her close and kissed her. "Now are you ready to go back to sleep?"

"No," she said, kissing him again.

"We could work on our baby name list," he offered.

"I don't think so."

"Well, I'm fresh out of ideas. What do you suggest?"

"Why do you take me to bed and I'll make plans on the fly?" Henry smirked and pulled her through the doorway.

The next week Henry sat on the bedroom floor with several piles of wooden pieces stacked around him. Elizabeth came in carrying a plate. "I made a sandwich. Do you want half?" she asked.

"Maybe just a bite. This is more complicated than I ever imagined."

"Have you looked at the directions?"

He shot Elizabeth a hard look. "Yes, Miss Smarty Pants. I did." She laughed at him.

"Okay, let me read and you put together." So they sat together working and at the end of an hour there was a crib sitting in the corner of their bedroom. Elizabeth stood in front of it running her hand along the top rail. "In just a few more weeks, there will be a little person sleeping in here."

"Our little person, who still doesn't have a name," Henry said.

"Yeah. That is a problem. All of your names are too old sounding and churchy," she teased.

Henry stood behind Elizabeth and massaged her shoulders. "And your names are trendy and have no sense of history," he joked.

"What do you think of Gabriella or Stephanya?" Elizabeth asked.

"Do you throw these names out just to get a rise out of me?" Henry wanted to know. "Gabriella isn't bad, but everyone would shorten it to Gabby. I don't care for that. Stephanya? Really? Stephanie I could buy into, but Stephanya reminds me of a mobster's wife or something."

Elizabeth laughed. "Mobster's wife? You are weird, you know that?" Henry shrugged. "But Stephanie is acceptable? Hmm, I'll think on it."

Henry reached around and placed his hands on Elizabeth's baby bump. "What do you think baby girl?" The baby suddenly kicked hard causing Henry to pull his hand back quickly. "Wow! I'm not sure if she likes it or not, but she definitely has an opinion."

Elizabeth laughed, "Just like her mama."

"Exactly." Henry rested his chin on her shoulder. "I'm getting a little nervous," he said.

"Wait! Aren't you the one who's always telling me not to be nervous? That it will be fine?"

"Uh huh, but now I'm nervous." Henry sighed.

"Don't be. Love covers a lot of gaps in skill."

"Who said that?" Henry smiled slightly. "I like it."

"Your mom told me that a long time ago, when I very first talked to her and asked if she would come when we had a baby, to help me. We're lucky to have her."

April 14, 1995

Elizabeth eyes snapped open out of a deep sleep. She was going to be sick, She rolled out of bed directly on the floor and emptied the content of her stomach in the trash can. Sitting back against the side, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. It had been a long time since she has been sick. In actuality, she had only had morning sickness a handful of times, so this was definitely out of the ordinary. She looked up at the clock. 6:28. "Ugh." Elizabeth let her head fall back against the bed. Time to get up anyway. She sat there the two minutes until the alarm went off and then grabbed the clock off the nightstand to silence it. "Now, to get up." Moving at all was a challenge. Elizabeth was a week and a half overdue and she felt like a beached whale. She could hear the shower and knew that Henry probably wouldn't hear her even if she called for help. Rolling over on all fours, she pushed herself up and sat on the bed. A second wave of nausea rolled over her. She swallowed hard telling whatever was left in her stomach to stay there. Rising, she took the trash can to the kitchen and cleaned it out before heading to the bathroom.

Henry was standing at the sink shaving. "How are you beautiful?"

"Oh God Henry, don't even. I look awful and feel worse. I just threw up and my lower back is killing me." She sat down on the toilet.

"I don't think so, but I can definitely see that little Miss Stephanie Anne needs to get a move on."

"Yeah, but as bad as I feel today, she can wait just a bit. And I missed where we decided for sure on that name. Ohh no, trash can!" Henry shoved the trash can under her face just as she threw up again."

"Babe, I think you should stay home today. Stephanie Anne is the only name we halfway agree on." Henry handed Elizabeth a cool rag to wipe her mouth.

"I can't today. George is coming back _._ I get to debrief him." She stood up from the toilet. "I'll be fine." She brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. "Can we call her Stevie?"

"Maybe. I'll need to look at her first. Otherwise she'll be Charlotte Elizabeth."

"No, we aren't using my first name as a middle name. I don't even understand why you think we have to use Anne."

"It's both your middle name and your mother's and it happens to be my grandmother's name as well. It's like a traditional given. I was just messing with you about Charlotte Elizabeth."

"I feel like shit. Don't give me any grief." Elizabeth said, staring into the bathroom mirror carefully applying concealer under her eyes to mask the dark circles. She applied foundation and some mascara. Stepping into the bedroom, she pulled on her last pair of decent fitting maternity pants and a sweater. She slipped on her flats and joined Henry in the kitchen where he handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," she said taking a sip.

"Do I want to know how much of that you drink?"

"I aim for only one a day, but there is a possibility that Stevie will go through caffeine withdrawal."

Henry wrinkled his nose. "You are calling her that prematurely."

Elizabeth shrugged. "I have to go. I'll let you know if anything happens." She kissed Henry goodbye and was out the door.

Thirty minutes later, as Elizabeth drug herself across the parking lot, she wondered how forward it would be to ask for valet service. In addition to the nausea, he lower back continued to ache terribly.

She flopped down at her desk when she finally made it to the fourth floor space she shared with Isabelle, Juliet and George.

"Bess, why are you still here? Juliet asked. "I mean you've hardly taken a day off. The baby could come any time. It would be alright to miss a day."

"I'm saving them for my leave," Elizabeth said.

Isabelle jumped into the conversation. "It's because she's stubborn. She said she was going to work until she had the baby, so now it doesn't matter how miserable she is or how annoying she is to us. She's going to be here until she pops. Juliet, you and I are probably delivering a baby before we go home today."

"Shut the fuck up, Isabelle. I am in no mood to put up with your shit today."

"See what I mean. I'll get the towels. You boil the water." Isabelle motioned to Juliet. "And Bess," she said, "you just pop out the kid."

"What's my job?" asked George, poking his head in the office.

"You come with me," Elizabeth said hoisting herself out of the chair. "Conference room 2. We have to discuss your shenanigans."

George stepped back out of the way as Elizabeth went through the door and down the hall, right hand braced against her lower back. He stuck his head back in the office, looked at Isabelle and Juliet and said, "If I'm not back in an hour, come looking for me."

Two hours later George returned. "I'm pissed. No one came to save me."

Isabelle didn't even look up from her desk. "After some of the shit you pulled out in the field, you're lucky we still talk to you."

George shrugged, "I did what I thought needed to be done. I'm on my way to see Dalton so he can chew my ass. Do me a favor. Keep an eye on Bess. I've never had a baby, but I think she's in labor. She had to completely stop what she was doing about every ten minutes and breathe through the pain for about thirty seconds or so. If they start getting closer together, you need get Henry and have him drag her out of here."

"George, don't you have someplace to be?" Elizabeth tapped him on the shoulder. He looked sheepishly at her. She smiled, "Good luck."

Elizabeth sat at her desk and tried to focus on her work. The pain in her back came and went, but seemed to be coming more frequently. She held her breath until it passed. At least she wasn't nauseous anymore. That was a blessing. It happened again. "That was 7," Juliet said.

Isabelle hopped out of her seat. "Got it," she said to Juliet and disappeared out of the office.

"What was that about?" Elizabeth asked Juliet as soon as she could speak.

"Nothing." Juliet turned back to her work and Elizabeth shrugged.

Thirty minutes passed and everyone's head popped up when Henry stuck his head in the door. "Hey babe. How are you doing?"

"Henry! What are you doing here?" Elizabeth was shocked.

"I came to take you to the hospital," he said.

"Why?" Elizabeth asked.

"Because Isabelle told me I needed to."

Elizabeth shot a nasty look at Isabelle. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm f-" The pressure in her back was so intense she couldn't decide if slumping forward or arching back would be better. It seemed to last for an eternity.

Henry was at her side, holding her to him. She took a deep breath as the pain passed. Henry looked over at Juliet.

"Six minutes apart and that one lasted about 45 seconds," she said.

"How long has it been going on?" Henry wanted to know.

"Maybe since about 8:45. I'm not sure. If you need an exact time, I can find George. He'll know." Isabelle replied.

"Am I even in this conversation?" Elizabeth asked.

"So, Bess, do you know when your contractions started?" Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Isabelle and clenched her teeth. "Yeah, I didn't think so. So, no, you aren't really part of this conversation."

Henry tossed his keys to Isabelle. Can you take my car home? The hospital bag is in Elizabeth's car." Turning to Elizabeth he asked, "Where is your purse?" She motioned to the bottom drawer. Henry opened the drawer and removed her bag. "Let's go babe."

She held onto his arm. "Not yet." She braced herself against the edge of her desk as the pressure in her back increased again. Once it passed, she looked at Henry and said, "We can go now." Henry wrapped his arm around his wife and started walking her to the door.

Juliet stood and handed Henry a piece of paper. It had a long column of times of contractions and to the side of each one was the length of each contraction. "That last one was only four minutes and lasted for a full minute." She eyed Henry. "I wouldn't stop for coffee if I were you." Giving Elizabeth a quick hug, she wished her luck.

Isabelle hugged her and said, "If you see any cute doctors, ask if they're married, and feel free to pass my number around," Elizabeth laughed and shook her head.

Elizabeth was in the hospital bed with Henry at her side and monitors hooked up. Contractions were now steadily five minutes apart and she was almost fully effaced and 80% dilated. The nurse came in to speak with the couple. "Your Doctor has been paged. We still need to break your water, but we want to wait to do that until the doctor is here. We think delivery will go very quickly once we do that."

"Why does my back hurt so bad? I have absolutely no pain in my abdomen," she asked, taking a deep breath and trying to breath through it.

"I'm guessing that your baby is face up instead of face down, so there's more pressure on your back."

Elizabeth closed her eyes and nodded. Just then a second nurse knocked and stuck her head in the door. "Doctor's here. He'll be in in just a minute."

Henry had been holding Elizabeth's hand, but was uncharacteristically quiet. "Are you alright, Henry?"

"Yeah babe. Just praying for everything to be okay."

"Pray aloud will you." She blew out a long breath. "I can't come up with a prayer right now, but I can listen."

Henry kissed her forehead. "Of course." He grasped her hand between his and bowed his head "Heavenly Father, Be with Elizabeth and help her through this labor. Be with our baby and keep her healthy. Place people in our lives to help us give her the best life we can. Help us to be good parents who parent out of love and help us teach her all about You. Amen."

"Amen," Elizabeth whispered and she clamped down on Henry's hand as another contraction hit.

"Breath through it babe. I'm right here." As it passed, her wiped her head with a cool rag and kissed her cheek.

The doctor came in followed by the two nurses, the second was pushing the bassinet, which had a tray of medical equipment on it. "Hi, Elizabeth. Henry." He nodded at Elizabeth as he washed his hands. "So, we're having a baby today?"

"God, I hope so," Elizabeth sputtered before another contraction swept over her. After a minute or so, she blew air out trying to relax.

"I'm going to check to see how dilated you are and we are going to rupture the amniotic sac." After checking her, the nurses rearranged the bedding and placed waterproof pads and towels underneath Elizabeth. The doctor produced a long plastic stick with a tiny hook on the end.

"Things I didn't need to see." Elizabeth rolled her eyes and turned to look at Henry, who suddenly was looking a little uncomfortable himself. "Hey," she squeezed his hand, "Look at me." Henry pulled his eyes away from the doctor and rested his forehead against Elizabeth's. She felt a great there was a gush of warm liquid between her legs that didn't seem to stop. "So is there even a baby in there or have I just been carrying around six gallons of fluid?"

The doctor chuckled, "There's a baby. I promise." When the draining fluid had mostly subsided, the nurses pulled the towels away, dropped the end of the bed and raised the stirrups. The doctor stepped out for a minute, but both nurses remained close by.

"Is everything ok?" Elizabeth asked, but she didn't get to hear the answer as another contraction ripped through her. She couldn't open her eyes, her heartbeat was deafeningly loud in her ears and she couldn't breathe. She knew she was supposed to, but physically couldn't make her lungs work. The pain lessened and she was able to take only a few gasping breaths before it hit again.

The nurse returned with the doctor and the other one stood at her head. "You have to breath honey. You are going to pass out if you don't." The nurse pulled the oxygen mask from the wall. "I'm putting this on you. It will give you more oxygen when you breathe."

Things were becoming overwhelming for Elizabeth. The mask was too restricting. Too much light. Too much movement. Too much noise that she couldn't decipher. And the pain hit again and again. The contractions came one on top of another. She felt like she was falling into a sea of darkness. Henry was still holding her hand and was whispering in her ear. She couldn't tell what he was saying, but the sound of his voice was familiar, something she could cling to. Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at Henry. "Breathe for me babe," he said. She took a shaky breath. "Again." She took in more air. "Again. You have to keep this on." He put the mask back over her nose and mouth, kissed her temple. "It's time to push. Are you ready?"

"No," she whispered. "But I don't get much say, do I?"

Henry grinned at her. "No. I love you. You know that, right?" She smiled as another contraction hit and tears escaped the corners of her eyes.

When it passed, she said, "Alright. I'm ready." She pushed through the next few contractions. "I can't do it anymore." She fell against Henry's shoulder.

"Yes, you can babe. One more. You're so close. I can see her head." He turned her head to look at him. "One more. I'm right here with you. You can do it." As the next contraction came, she pushed as hard as she could. "There she is!' Henry pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Her head is out, but hold on, wait to push," the doctor said. "Just a minute. Let me get the cord out of the way."

Elizabeth tried to breathe shallows breaths as she watched Henry, who was watching what was taking place. He glanced over and caught her watching him. He smiled widely and took her hand, which was wrapped around the back of her knee and placed it between her legs, touching the baby's head. "That's our girl," he whispered.

"Okay, all set. One more push as soon as the contraction starts." Elizabeth waited and for the first time all day, was impatient. She was so close. As she felt her muscles contract, she pushed. The burning between her legs was intense and then it all stopped. "There she is! Welcome baby McCord!" She watched as the doctor wiped her face and suctioned out her nose and mouth and a little strangled noise came out. Elizabeth's immediate reaction was alarm, but it was followed by an inhale and a loud wail of a baby. Relief flooded Elizabeth and when she looked at Henry, she could tell, he'd been thinking the same thing.

The nurse quickly wiped the baby off and brought her over to Elizabeth. She motioned to Henry. "Untie her gown. We're going to place, what's her name?" the nurse asked.

"Stephanie, but we're calling her Stevie," Henry answered, winking at Elizabeth, who smiled back.

"We're going to put Stevie on mom's chest while the doctor finishes up," the nurse said. Henry untied the gown and pulled it back and the nurse placed Stevie tummy down on Elizabeth's chest. Stevie quieted immediately and the second nurse place a warmed blanket over both of them.

Elizabeth looked down and ran her finger over Stevie's cheek and tears slid down her own. She looked at Henry who was crying too. "She's perfect," Henry choked out.

"I know," Elizabeth whispered, now tracing the fingers of the tiny hand splayed out across Elizabeth's chest. "I wasn't prepared for how much I could love her so quickly,"

"Yeah," Henry agreed.

Elizabeth finally looked around and realized they weren't alone. Her legs were still in the stirrups and the doctor perched between her knees. "I think there's been more people down there in the last 10 hours than in my entire life."

"Sorry. I promise I'm not just hanging out down here." They both laughed. "Because your baby was face up when she came through the birth canal, there was some tearing. A bit more than what we'd normally see. I'm stitching you up."

Elizabeth's eyes were wide. "Stitches? How many are we talking?"

"I'm up to 18, but I think there will be 23 or 24 when I'm done." The doctor remained focused. "There are 11 on the inside and the rest are out. You'll be pretty sore for a week or so, but there's no reason to believe that you won't heal just fine. We'll check you out at your six week visit."

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. "Somehow I think sore isn't going to cover it."

Once the doctor finished and the nurses got both Elizabeth and Stevie cleaned up, the family was moved to a more comfortable room. Originally, Elizabeth had refused any pain medication, but as the adrenaline wore off, she found that she was indeed "pretty sore," so she acquiesced and took the pill.

Henry stepped out to call all relevant people including MaryHelen and Patrick, Geoffrey, Isabelle and Phyllis, who in turn called their own list of people. By the time Henry made it back to the room, a nurse was in with Elizabeth showing her how to breastfeed Stevie. Once the nurse was sure that both mom and baby were comfortable, she stepped out with the promise of being back soon to check on them. Henry pressed a kiss to the top of Elizabeth's head. "No," she shook her head, "That's not good enough." She reached up and placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers. Once she had thoroughly kissed him, she let him go. "That's better." she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, more every day in fact." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Stevie's head. "Is breastfeeding hard?" he asked.

"Not when I have someone standing over me to make sure I do it right. There are a lot of things to remember. Everything is so overwhelming," Elizabeth said settling against Henry where he sat on the bed next to her.

"Once you do it a few times, it will become easier."

"I hope so." She sat silently watching Stevie's chin bob up and down as she sucked. Elizabeth had to admit it was pretty gratifying to know that she had the ability to feed her baby. "Were you able to reach everyone?" she asked.

"Yes. Geoffrey is probably already in the air. I think the plane was on standby." Elizabeth laughed. "Mom and Dad are going to leave in the morning and Phyllis is coming over the weekend."

"What did Isabelle say?"

Henry rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I don't know how you put up with her. I didn't catch it all, but something about being thankful she didn't have to deliver the baby."

Elizabeth laughed and Stevie jumped in her arms. "Shh, sorry baby girl. Mama didn't mean to startle you." she cooed. With Elizabeth rubbing her back, Stevie closed her eyes again and went back to nursing. The nurse came back in and helped Elizabeth switch sides and gave her some tips and offered her another pain pill. Elizabeth gladly accepted it this time.

When Stevie finished, Elizabeth handed her to Henry who rewrapped her like baby burrito and held her in the crook of his arm and started walking around talking to her. Elizabeth was taken back 6 years to their wedding rehearsal when she had first seen Henry hold baby Gianna just like that and had been able to calm her. She remembered thinking how wonderful he would look with their own babies someday. Now someday was today and out of nowhere, the tears started flowing and she couldn't stop them.

Henry was by her, pulling her close to him on one side as he held Stevie on the other. "What's going on babe?"

"I'm just happy and thankful and I didn't know if this day would come, or if I even wanted it to come, and I look at you and I feel guilty for ever even thinking it. Just look at you, looking so-" Elizabeth paused unable to put to words what she wanted to say. "You just look so right."

"You think?" he asked. "I've been nervous about it. It's a lot to be solely responsible for this person. She's ours. If we screw up, it's on us." Henry brushed his thumb across and she wrinkled up her forehead causing Henry to laugh. "She looks like a little old man."

Elizabeth elbowed him, "Don't say that about our little girl." Henry tipped the bundle up and showed her. "Well, okay, she sort of looks like a little old man, but we can't be saying things like that. She'll get some sort of weird complex."

"I'll say it sing-songy and she won't know the difference," he teased. Elizabeth grinned and then she yawned. "Hey, how about you lay back and rest. I'll walk her around for a while and bring her back when she needs to eat, alright?"

"Don't go far," Elizabeth instructed as she pulled the sheet and blanket up around her shoulders. She yawned again. "Come here." Henry crossed the room and she pulled him down so she could kiss Stevie's head. "Love you baby girl." Then looking up and Henry, she was blown away by the love in his eyes. Tears welled up, again, and she tried to push them back. "I can't wait for my hormones to level out so I stop crying all of the damn time. But, I digress," she said, pulling him close this time, "I can't even begin to imagine what my life would look like without you, but there is no way it could possibly be this good. I thank God that you are in my life Henry Patrick McCord."


	72. Chapter 72

AN: This story is officially going to a series of one-shots, with maybe a couple chapters dedicated to Elizabeth quitting the CIA. We'll have to see on that one.

Chapter 72

Elizabeth didn't think she had ever been so overwhelmed in her life. She and Stevie had been released from the hospital earlier that Sunday morning. Henry brought them home, got her all settled and asked if was alright for him to go to Mass with his parents. At the time, it had been fine with it, good even. Elizabeth had fed Stevie right before they left the hospital and she was sleeping soundly in her car seat. They decided to leave her since she was sleeping and Elizabeth would just sit close by to watch and make sure she was fine. It was only for an hour and a half.

Elizabeth was actually looking forward to a bit of alone time. While she appreciated Henry's attentiveness, the way he was hovering over her was getting annoying and she just needed a little space. She let out a deep sigh as he pulled the door shut and smiled at her newfound quiet.

After a few minutes, she gingerly got up off the couch and walked slowly to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. The pain between her legs was intense and she thought about what the doctor had said. "Humpf, pretty sore, my ass. Fucking jerk," she muttered under her breath and then laughed at herself. Being away from Isabelle for a few weeks would probably improve her language..

No sooner had she poured the coffee into her mug, than she heard Stevie whimper in the other room. She poured the creamer into the cup and shuffle stepped back into the living room where Stevie's whimpers morphed into full blown wailing. She set her coffee down and carefully lowered herself back down on the couch and reached out to pull the car seat closer. Seriously underestimating the amount of pain that reaching for the car seat would cause, she had to sit a minute and collect herself before taking Stevie out. With each passing second, Stevie got louder and Elizabeth's doubts grew.

Unbuckling her, Elizabeth awkwardly removed Stevie from the seat mumbling "Sorry" at least three times for the weird way in which she had to maneuver her out from under the buckles and handle. "Alright, here we go baby girl. Shh. Mama's got you. It'll be just fine." Elizabeth pulled her close against her chest, but when it didn't immediately call Stevie down, panic rose in Elizabeth's chest. Elizabeth had done it several times in the hospital and she always settled quickly. Now Elizabeth felt Stevie's heart pounding against her chest and it scared her.

So it was in that spot she sat, with her not even two day old daughter shrieking against her chest unable to decide what she should try. She would have given anything to have Henry hovering right now, giving her assurances that they could do this. Or MaryHelen, or Geoffrey. Really anyone that might encourage her, or better yet, just take over and let her cry at her failure. Tears ran down her face and she pressed her lips to Stevie's head and whispered apologies.

Elizabeth thought she heard a noise behind her, but dismissed it as Stevie continued to cry. Again, the noise came. It was someone knocking at the door. "Coming," she called, unsure if they could hear her over Stevie. Elizabeth struggled to get off the couch and hold the baby at the same time. Grimacing, she finally made it to her feet and walked carefully to the door. Opening it, and seeing who it was, she fell into Phyllis's shoulder. "Thank God you're here. I can't do this." Elizabeth felt a wave of appreciation wash over her. She didn't think she would ever be as indebted to anyone as she was to Phyllis in that moment.

Of course, Phyllis was Phyllis l. Placing a kiss on Elizabeth's cheek, she said, "You like hearin' her squall or what?"

Elizabeth gritted her teeth. "If I could stop it, don't you think I would've already done it?"

Elizabeth stepped back out of the way and Phyllis entered, carrying a wrapped package. "Where do you nurse?" she asked.

"It's only been an hour and a half. She shouldn't be hungry," Elizabeth replied.

"Listen to me. I'm 'bout to give you the best advice you are goin' to get as a new mom. You ready?" Elizabeth nodded. "If it ain't an obvious problem like a dirty diaper or too tight clothes or too hot or cold and you can't fix it right away, you know what you do?"

"No," Elizabeth said, a little more than exasperated at the length of time it was taking to get to the point.

"Throw a boob at it." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Don't you go back talkin' me girl."

"I didn't say anything." Elizabeth whipped back.

"Your eyes is talkin' plenty. I'm serious. You got a rockin' chair around here?" Phyllis asked.

"Bedroom," Elizabeth tossed her head to one side to indicate the direction.

"Come on then." Elizabeth followed Phyllis into the bedroom. The older woman immediately read Elizabeth's mind and took the still screaming baby from her arms. "They give you ice packs?"

"Yeah."

"I'm grabbing those because the last thing you want to be doing is getting up and down twenty times. I'm guessing in fridge freezer." Elizabeth nodded. "Don't move." Phyllis instructed. She returned almost immediately and said, "Sit on this and get comfortable before I give you Miss Precious here." While Elizabeth sat down, Phyllis spoke quietly to the still crying Stevie.

"Okay." Phyllis grabbed a pillow from the bed and put it on Elizabeth's lap. "Now put her on."

It took Elizabeth about ten seconds to get over her modesty issue, before pulling her t-shirt up, exposing her breast. Stevie was still crying but started to settle. As soon as skin made contact, Stevie opened her mouth wide and latched on. Elizabeth traced her finger over Stevie's hairline and tears fell from her eyes again. Phyllis, who had disappeared off somewhere, returned carrying one of the chairs from their kitchen table. She parked it next to Elizabeth and sat down.

"What's wrong baby girl?" she crooned and Elizabeth leaned into her shoulder letting the tears fall.

"I don't think I can do this. I couldn't even get her to stop crying without help. I can't even come up with the simplest of things. How am I going to do the hard stuff?"

"Your hormones have got you all in a funk. I promise it'll get easier. The more you do it, the better you will get at it."

"I don't know," Elizabeth started, but Phyllis cut her off.

"But I do. There isn't one mother out there that doesn't go through the same thing you are right now. And I'm telling you, at this point, all you need to know is that if you've checked the obvious stuff and she's still upset, nursing will calm her down."

Elizabeth leaned her head against the back of the rocking chair and gently rocked a now almost sleeping Stevie. For whatever reason, her conversation with Maureen came to mind and Elizabeth said, "Wonder tits," and burst into a fit of giggles. Phyllis just shook her head laughing.

Henry walked in the door just a short time later and was soon followed by Henry's parents and Geoffrey. Patrick and Geoffrey were "allowed" by MaryHelen and Phyllis to hold Stevie the most since they would both be leaving first. Stevie slept through most everyone holding her, only waking for periodic feeding and changing. Once the grandfathers headed back home, Phyllis called dibs on Stevie and held her the rest of the afternoon before she had to leave right after dinner.

Elizabeth showered and settled down with Stevie to feed her before she hoped she could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. She was happy that her family had the opportunity to come, but was exhausted and really needed peace and quiet. Henry helped get her settled in. He brushed the stray hairs away from her face. "I feel like there's been so much commotion that I haven't even got to talk to you." She nodded drowsily. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I feel like someone took my legs and pulled until they ripped me in half." Henry scrunched up his face.

"Sorry babe," he said.

Elizabeth laughed, "This morning before we left the hospital, I made a comment that I needed a mirror to check out the damage and the nurse made me promise not to do it for at least two weeks. She said that if i did, Stevie would be an only child."

Henry laughed with her. "Then I think we should heed her advice," he said.

"Yeah, I'd already decided that. I know how bad it feels, I probably don't need the visual to go with it." Elizabeth looked up to find Henry smiling at her.

"What?" she asked, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"Thank you for sacrificing your body for our baby," Henry said sincerely. He leaned down and kissed Elizabeth deeply.

"I would do it again in a heartbeat. Although, I have to say that I hope it's not permanent."

"It doesn't matter to me. You are more beautiful today than you were a week ago than you were the day we got married. I am the luckiest man alive." His lips brushed hers again. "Get some sleep. I'm going to go hang out with Mom for a little while. And I'll bring Stevie to you when she wakes up."

Elizabeth rolled over Monday morning and vaguely remembered being up two, or was it three, times during the night. She felt odd, but couldn't quite put her finger on why until she sat up. "Oh my God, Henry," she cried and pushed Henry's arm until he shifted and sat up.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Check this out," she said, pointing to her chest.

"Damn, babe," Henry grinned. "That's kind of hot! I missed the part of the book that said you would grow three sizes overnight." He leaned over her and sucked the flesh behind her ear, kissing his way down her neck while his hand slid up to cup one of her breasts. Elizabeth elbowed him. "They are rock hard."

"I know. See if you can wake Stevie up. This is uncomfortable," she said. Henry gave her a quick kiss and climbed out of bed and went to the crib.

"Hey there, princess. What are you doing just laying here?" Henry changed Stevie's diaper and brought her over to Elizabeth, who had scooted against the headboard and propped herself up with pillows.

Elizabeth fed Stevie, a task that was a bit challenging given her sudden increase in size and quantity of milk produced. She got it figured out and slipped a sweatshirt on over her t-shirt and went into the living room while Henry showered and got ready for class. MaryHelen was up and cooking breakfast. "Good morning," she said, pulling the ice packs out of the freezer. She walked into the living room and traded her the baby for ice packs.

"Good morning. Thanks," Elizabeth said, holding the ice pack up slightly. "I'll be glad when I can ditch these."

"I'm sure you will. Have you had any pain medicine yet?" Elizabeth shook her head. "I'll bring you one with breakfast."

Elizabeth sat down and winced against the cold of the ice packs. She knew they helped, but it was certainly uncomfortable. Henry emerged from the bedroom and met his mom in the kitchen. "I'll take that," Elizabeth heard him say, and a plate of sausage and eggs were at her side in seconds. "Your pill is there at the edge," he nodded toward the plate. Elizabeth took it and popped it in her mouth and took the glass of juice from him, taking a quick drink and swallowing.

"Thank you," she looked up at Henry and met his eyes. He grinned wickedly and reached down squeezing her breast, "Still good size," he winked and then kissed her forehead before he was out the door.

Elizabeth was still shaking her head when MaryHelen came in and sat down on the couch with Stevie curled up on her chest. "What's up?" she asked.

"Your son can be a real pain," she laughed.

"Can't they all?" MaryHelen agreed, "but we love them in spite of it." Elizabeth smiled. "So, how are you doing? We haven't got a chance to talk at all."

"Right now, in this moment, I'm fine. I won't guarantee that for more than maybe two minutes though." Elizabeth chuckled. "Poor Phyllis got blubbering, freaked out Elizabeth yesterday when she showed up."

MaryHelen sighed, "I knew someone should've stayed with you."

"It's fine. I actually wanted some alone time. I just wasn't emotionally prepared and Stevie woke up and everything I knew how to do didn't calm her down and I was paying attention to a schedule more than what my common sense should have been telling me. It ended up to be no big deal. Phyllis talked me off the ledge and we were all calmed down by the time you made it back."

"I'm going to give you a piece of advice, well two really." MaryHelen said.

"It seems like everyone has some of that to donate, but I'll totally take it," Elizabeth said.

"Breathe and pray." MaryHelen stated as if she had just laid the Holy Grail at Elizabeth's feet.

"Simultaneously?" Elizabeth asked, hoping only a little sarcasm snuck in.

"Breathe means keep calm. Keep breathing. The baby cries, you freak out, and now the baby is feeding off of your anxiety make the situation seem much worse. Pray is obvious, but it doesn't have to be anything long and glorious. Just some simple version of self-talk like 'Help me get through this.' or 'Let this work' or ' Could you please shut this kid up?' Remember that last one for when she's older. You will definitely need it."

Elizabeth giggled at the thought and then spoke, "I'm not very good at the whole praying thing."

"Suit yourself."

"Guess what Phyllis's advice was," Elizabeth said. MaryHelen shrugged. "Throw a boob at it."

MaryHelen laughed. "That right there might be the best advice indeed. It does work for a multitude of issues."

Elizabeth thought for a few minutes. "So far, being a mom is just really about giving up any shred of modesty you may have."

"You are right there, but you'll get better at it as time goes on You won't always feel like you are walking around bare chested."

"Or like I just had plastic surgery? I feel like I'm in someone else's body, like maybe Pamela Anderson or Dolly Parton, except I have the baby pooch to go with it. Ugh!"

"Give yourself time. Stevie's not even three days old yet. It will take several months to return to normal and you may find that you don't get back there and you have to create a new normal."

Elizabeth popped the last bite of eggs in her mouth and groaned. "That is probably the least comforting thing I've ever heard."

The next week, Elizabeth sent MaryHelen to pick up a few groceries and she was sitting at the table paying a few bills. She heard Stevie start to cry and she sighed. It was only five minutes ago that Elizabeth had nursed Stevie to sleep and put her in bed, and now she was up again. This seemed to be the new norm. Stevie didn't sleep unless someone was holding her. For the most part, that was just fine. She loved to cuddle Stevie, but right now she needed to get a few things done and Stevie was definitely not cooperating.

Elizabeth went into the bedroom and picked Stevie up and she immediately stopped crying and before she knew what she was doing she muttered. "God, help me get her to sleep." Elizabeth checked her diaper, rewrapped her swaddle blanket and started swaying and singing, something she'd never done before. Within minutes, Stevie yawned and closed her eyes and Elizabeth put her sleeping baby down again. "Well there ya go. Score one for God and Elizabeth."


	73. Chapter 73

A/N: Sorry it's taken me a while to update this story. I've been working on the others.

Credit to the Catholic Church. I used the Baptismal Rite.

I appreciate any reviews and would love any and all feedback!

"Do I seriously need to go to this?" Elizabeth whined as she tossed another ill-fitting dress on the closet floor. "I have nothing to wear."

"Babe you are within a couple pounds of what you were when you got pregnant," Henry replied.

"Yeah, one would think that would solve the problem, but my shape is all weird and nothing that I used to wear fits right," Elizabeth lamented, screwing up her face in a pout.

"Excuse me," Henry said, reaching past her to the back rack of clothes she never touched. "Try this one." He handed her a dress.

"Where did this even come from?" Elizabeth asked, squinting at it curiously.

"You bought it when you were only a couple months along and your other clothes were uncomfortable, but you weren't really ready for maternity clothes. I think you only wore it once, but I think it's pretty. Try it," he prodded. Elizabeth huffed and headed to the bathroom with the dress. Five minutes later she stepped out.

"What do you think?"

"You are beautiful and I like the dress too. What do I need to do to get Stevie ready?"

"Just a white onesie and make sure her dress, bonnet, and booties are with her diaper bag. Your mom said to wait and change her when we got there so she wouldn't be stuffed in the car seat with the fancy dress."

"Got it. The diaper bag is packed?" Henry asked from the front room.

"I think so. You can go through it again. We haven't been out this long before, so I don't know exactly what we'll need." Elizabeth called from the bathroom. She stepped into the living room while putting in her earring. Can you help with my necklace?"

"Sure babe. Come here." She dropped the necklace she was clutching in the palm of her hand into his while she finished putting the back of her earring on.

"Okay," she said moving her hair to the side.

"How do you feel? This is a lot of moving and stress and planning ahead. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Henry. I need the practice anyway. It won't be that much longer and I'll be getting ready for work." Henry hooked the necklace and stepped around to face his wife. He gave her a big smile and kissed her. "What's that for?" she asked, grinning up at him.

"Because I love you. Is it time to put Stevie in the car seat?"

"If you could do that, I'll put my shoes on and we'll be ready to go. Oh, and thanks for the dress suggestion. I like it." Elizabeth grabbed Henry by his tie and pulled him to her lips to give him a quick kiss.

Elizabeth and Henry walked into church 30 minutes before Mass started. Even as early as they were, they were the last to arrive. Phyllis, Geoffrey, Will, Patrick, Tommy, Shane and Erin were already seated in the the front. MaryHelen, Maureen and Tom waited in the back. "It's about time," Maureen said when they stepped close enough to be in whisper range.

"Oh, don't you even. I was present for Tommy's Baptism and if I recall, they had to wait to start Mass, so you can shut it." Elizabeth snapped back. She was in no mood to tolerate Maureen's hatefulness.

"Ooo, Elizabeth is fiesty today," Maureen started.

"Girls, that's enough." MaryHelen chided.

Maureen rolled her eyes and Elizabeth laughed. She nudged Henry, "Let's take Stevie to the cry room and I'll feed her and get her changed." Henry nodded and placed his hand on her back. Then he stopped.

"Maureen, as Godparents, you and Tom need to stay back here and then after your part, you go up the side aisle to the front pew. Fr. Dan only wants us to process in with him." Maureen gave Henry a thumbs up.

In the cry room, Elizabeth already had Stevie changed into her dress. "She's beautiful, just like her mama," Henry murmured, hugging Elizabeth from behind. Elizabeth tilted her head back to give him a quick kiss.

"I wish she was a little more awake. I'd like her to eat a little more so she doesn't want to eat during Mass."

"If she needs to eat, she needs to eat. There's only a 10 minute window where it would be really inconvenient and Fr. Dan will be dumping water on her head, so she might cry anyway. It will be fine. Babies get Baptized all of the time."

Elizabeth held Stevie in her left hand and touched each breast with her right. "I can't remember which side I need to start with." Henry glanced up from his task putting things back in the diaper bag.

"Go left," he said.

Elizabeth smirked, "Am I lopsided?"

"Only a little," Henry said. Elizabeth reached out and swatted him in the chest. He only laughed. Settling down in a chair, Elizabeth pulled the neckline of her dress down, unclipped her bra, and latched Stevie on.

"Alright. I'm glad you found this dress, because it may be my new favorite. Can you hand me a blanket?

"Uh, we have no blanket other than the fluffy shawl thing that we had wrapped around her when we brought her in." Elizabeth thought about that.

"Is there one of those bigger burp cloths in there?" Henry pulled one out. "Yep, that's it. That will work. I just don't think I'm ready for everyone to see this much of me." She gestured to her chest before she dropped the cloth over herself.

"There's nothing wrong with it," Henry insisted.

"I didn't say there was, and thank you breastfeeding warrior for defending my rights. I just don't feel comfortable. It's not that I don't think I could or should. It's that I don't want to."

"Then that's fine," he said, then he grinned. "Maureen's right. You are fiesty today." Elizabeth shot him a dirty look, but he could see the amusement in her eyes.. "I'm going to talk to Fr. Dan a minute. I think we have about 10 minutes before Mass starts." Henry disappeared out the door with the diaper bag.

Elizabeth found herself standing in the back of the nave, with the entire congregation turned and looking at them Dr. Dan addressed them. "What name do you give your child?" he asked.

"Stephanie Anne," Henry and Elizabeth answered in unison.

"What do you ask of God's Church for Stephanie Anne?"

"Baptism," they replied.

"You have asked to have your child baptized. You are accepting the responsibility of training them in the practice of the faith, to live what Christ taught us, to love God and our neighbors. Do you understand what you are undertaking?" Fr. Dan said.

"We do," they said.

Fr. Dan turned to Maureen and Tom, and said, "Godparents, are you ready to help these parents in their duty as Christian mothers and fathers? "

Tom and Maureen responded, "We are."

Turning back and looking at Stevie, he said, "Stephanie Anne, the Christian community welcomes you with great joy. In its name, I claim you for Christ by the sign of the Cross. I now trace the cross on your forehead and invite your parents and godparents to do the same.

Elizabeth was holding Stevie and Fr. Dan traced a cross on Stevie's forehead, then she followed. Turning Stevie to Henry, Tom and Maureen, they each traced a cross on Stevie's forehead.

"I invite members of the parish as part of the Christian community to claim you for Christ as well." Fr. Dan said, extending his hand over the parish.

Music then filled the church and the choir started singing. Fr. Dan directed them to stop at the end of each pew and allow the person on the end to trace a cross on Stevie. When Elizabeth had originally heard this was going to be part of the Baptism, she had her doubts. It seemed like an awful lot of unnecessary touching of her baby, but now standing there seeing the sheer joy those people had welcoming their baby, Elizabeth found herself unexpectedly emotional. She was particularly touched by two elderly ladies who were jockeying for position at the end of a pew. Hearing one whisper to the other about it being her turn, she stifled a laugh and offered Stevie to both ladies. Making their way to the front, Elizabeth made sure that their family got to do it as well. It was sweet and Stevie slept through the entire process.

Mass proceeded as usual until after the Prayers of the Faithful. Fr. Dan came down to the front pew where they were sitting and asked them to stand. He started by announcing he was doing a prayer of exorcism. Elizabeth furrowed her eyes. Fr. Dan smiled and explained to the whole congregation that the purpose of the prayer was to offer Stevie protection against sin. Turning back to them, he rested his hand on Stevie's head and began.

"Almighty and ever-living God, you sent your only Son into the world to cast out the power of Satan, spirit of evil, to rescue man from the kingdom of darkness, and bring him into the splendor of your kingdom of light. We pray for this child: set him (her) free from original sin, make her a temple of your glory, and send your Holy Spirit to dwell with her. We ask this through Christ our Lord." Everyone responded Amen.

Then they were invited to the front with Maureen and Tom. Tommy started wailing as he was being handed off to MaryHelen. Elizabeth turned to Maureen and said, "If you don't care, Tommy can come too. There's no reason for him to be upset." Maureen gave her an "Are you sure?" expression and Elizabeth nodded, so Maureen took Tommy back and the group proceeded to the front.

With Tommy now snuggled against Maureen, Fr. Dan smiled at them before continuing. "Parents and Godparents, you have presented this child for Baptism. You must carefully bring Stephanie Anne up in the practice of the faith. If you are ready to accept this responsibility, renew now the promises of your own Baptism and profess your faith in Christ Jesus."

He turned to the congregation. " Let us all join with this family as we profess our faith. Our response is "I do. Do you believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth?"

"I do," echoed from the people.

"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, who was born of the Virgin Mary, was crucified, died and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?"

"I do," they said.

"Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?"

"I do,"

Fr. Dan concluded, "This is our faith. This is the faith of the Church. We are proud to profess it in Christ Jesus our Lord."

"Amen," the people said, and the congregation was seated.

Fr. Dan turned back the the family and started pouring the water into the Baptismal font as he prayed. "We ask you Father, with your Son, to send the Holy Spirit upon the waters of this font. May all who are buried with Christ in the death of Baptism also rise with him to newness of life. We ask this through Christ our Lord."

""Amen," came the response.

"Is it your will that Stephanie Anne should be baptized in the faith of the church, which we have all professed with you?"

"It is," Elizabeth and Henry said together. Henry stepped in a little closer and Elizabeth felt his presence against her back and ran his hands up and down her arms. She had never resisted this. It was a given from long ago that any children they had would be Baptized Catholic and raised that way, and in the beginning, she really thought it would be something she had to endure, hoops she would have to jump through. But in this moment looking out over the assembly, especially their family, it felt warm and happy. Looking down at Stevie, still sleeping with a tiny half smile across her face, she felt a flutter in her chest.

Fr. Dan took a small dish of water and dipped it into the font. Henry placed his hand under Elizabeth's and together they held Stevie over the water.

"Stephanie Anne, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." He poured water on her head three times, after each person of the Trinity. Stevie squirmed and made faces, but did not cry. Henry patted her head dry.

Fr. Dan reached for the bottle of Chrism oil and started the blessing. "God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has freed you from sin given you a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and welcomed you into His holy people. He now anoints you with the chrism of salvation. As Christ was anointed Priest, Prophet, and King, may you live always as a member of His body, sharing in everlasting life." He traced a cross with the oil at her hairline.

Fr. Dan motioned to Tom to pick up the white garment which was placed over Stevie's head and laid across her chest. Elizabeth shifted to tuck the back under Stevie.

"Stephanie Anne, you have become a new creation, and have been clothed in Christ. See in this white garment, the outward sign of your Christian dignity. With your family and friends to help you by word and example, bring that dignity unstained into the everlasting life of heaven."

Fr. Dan reached over and lit the small Baptismal candle from the new Easter candle and handed it to Tom and Maureen to hold and spoke, "Parents and Godparents, receive the Light of Christ. This light is entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly. This child of yours has been enlightened by Christ. Stephanie Anne is to walk always as a child of light. May she keep the flame of faith alive in her heart. When the Lord comes, may she go out to meet Him with all the saints in the heavenly kingdom. Amen."

Then he extended his hand and placed it on Elizabeth's shoulder. "God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary's child, has brought joy to all Christian mothers, as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children. May he bless the mother of this child. She now thanks God for the gift of her child. May she be one with her in thanking him for ever in heaven, in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen"

Fr. Dan did the same with Henry. "God is the giver of all life, human and divine. May he bless the father of this child. He and his wife will be the first teachers of their child in the ways of faith. May they be also the best of teachers, bearing witness to the faith by what they say and do, in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen."

Fr. Dan took Stephanie from Elizabeth and held her up in front of everyone. "Let us welcome the newest member of our Community, Stephanie Anne McCord." The congregation applauded as he carried her down the center aisle for everyone to see. Elizabeth cringed a little as Fr. Dan walked away with her baby elevated over his head. Maureen whispered behind her, "He's probably only dropped a couple." Elizabeth sucked in her breath, and Henry threw his elbow into Maureen's arm making her laugh. MaryHelen shot them all a nasty look from the pew. Elizabeth smiled. This was a typical McCord event.

Fr. Dan brought Stevie back to Elizabeth and they returned to their seats Mass continued as usual. Tom and Maureen presented the gifts Elizabeth sat in the pew with Henry's wrapped around her shoulders and her baby in her arms. She studied the white garment that was placed over Stevie. She ran her fingers over the embroidered Chi Ro symbol. Greek letters that were adopted by the Romans and transformed into the letters XPo which meant "to Christ."

To Christ. They had given their baby to Christ and Elizabeth knew full well that Henry took his job very seriously having had her growing belly prayed over for the many months that Stevie occupied it. Now, in the month since Stevie's birth, Henry made it a habit to take Stevie from Elizabeth's arms before bed and sit the the rocking chair and tell her stories from the Bible and pray over her. More than once, Elizabeth had been annoyed that Henry was wasting precious sleep time by not putting Stevie down right away. She was remorseful in that moment, now seeing the importance of what he was doing.

She wondered how she might be different if she had been raised with parents like Henry. Elizabeth sort of considered herself to be textbook religious. She knew what she had to do to pass the test, but going to God was never the first course of action. Most of the time, it was an afterthought, if even a thought at all. She hoped Stevie developed the kind of blind faith that Henry possessed, but Elizabeth didn't think that she, herself, ever would. It seemed to make things easier for Henry to have his Faith to fall back on.

Stevie started squirming in her arms and Elizabeth inwardly cursed, then thought a quick "Sorry God," and smirked and rolled her eyes. She knew what was coming with Stevie and she immediately started bouncing Stevie in her arms. Stevie wanted to eat. Elizabeth hadn't breastfed Stevie in public before and she weighed her options of trying to make it to the cry room in the back knowing fewer people would be back there, but then she decided that it would be more conspicuous to get up front the front pew and trek all the way to the back than to stay where she was.

For the first time in quite a while, she became aware of her surroundings and realized that everyone was kneeling and she was surprised that she'd been zoned out for at least 15 minutes. But now, Stevie started to whimper and there would be full blown wailing in the next 30 seconds or so if she didn't take action now. She quickly pulled the burp cloth from the top of the diaper bag and turned Stevie around so she was holding her in her right arm.

She tried to discreetly position the burp cloth other herself, but getting the neckline of the dress down, bra undone and Stevie latched in one motion didn't happen. Stevie was getting louder and Henry glanced at her over his shoulder. She tensed up, panic started to rise in her chest. Just when she was close to tears, MaryHelen's hand brushed her hair back and she whispered, "It seems way worse to you than it does to anyone else. Just breathe and pray and do what you need to do. You'll be fine."

Elizabeth blew the breath out that she'd been holding and closed her eyes. Taking a couple more breaths. "Alright God, let's do this," she thought and she put the cloth down on Stevie, and started over taking her time instead of putting more attention on being modest. She was successful the second time and tossed the cloth over her. She relaxed back on the pew and MaryHelen placed a hand on her shoulder squeezing it. Elizabeth smiled.

After Mass, Henry and Elizabeth were approached by several people offering congratulations and promises of prayer fort Stevie. It filled her with an unexpected and unexplained warmth to know that so many people would have Stevie in their thoughts. MaryHelen insisted on lots of pictures, which Henry and Elizabeth willingly indulged her. She had stayed with them the whole first month, most recently just providing moral support while Henry and Elizabeth figured out life with a baby. It had been glorious and they both felt like they owed her greatly.

On the way to lunch, Elizabeth was still smiling even though she was starting to tire. "You okay, babe?" Henry asked, reaching across to take her hand.

"Yeah, I'm good. This day has gone pretty well so far. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to a nap later though," Elizabeth said.

At the restaurant, Elizabeth sat next to Will and grilled him about his life since he would never call her and she hadn't had time to call him. He gave her grief right back. When Geoffrey tried to hand Stevie back to Elizabeth, she nodded towards Will. "Oh no! I don't think I can do that," he said, putting his hands up defensively.

"For goodness sakes Will, you're going to have to do a pediatric rotation aren't you? Hold your damn niece."

"What is your problem? You're crazy." Elizabeth just glared at him. "Fine. I'll hold her. Geez. Hormonal woman." Elizabeth elbowed him in the ribs. "Stop it. Don't do that when I'm holding Stevie."

"You two need to behave yourselves," Geoffrey said chuckling. Will groaned.

"It wasn't me. It was her." He took Stevie from Geoffrey and rather awkwardly tried to shift her around. Wisely, Elizabeth left him alone and he figured it out. Before too long, MaryHelen captured the perfect picture of Will talking babytalk to Stevie about what a great Uncle he was and how she could call him when she needed to talk about how crazy her mother was being. If it hadn't been so cute, Elizabeth might have elbowed him a second time.

The family all hung around until mid-afternoon when the younger part of the McCord clan announced that they needed to head back. Shane was riding with Tom and Maureen and the baby, so they said their goodbyes and left. Phyllis also said her goodbyes with promises of coming to visit in a couple weeks before Elizabeth returned to work. The remaining group went back to the apartment. MaryHelen needed to load her luggage and Geoffrey and Will were planning to stay a little longer.

Once back, Patrick got some snuggle time while MaryHelen finished packing up. Elizabeth went to change, but when she didn't return, MaryHelen went to check on her. She found Elizabeth sitting on the end of the bed crying. "What's wrong dear?" the older woman asked, wrapping an arm around her daughter-in-law.

Elizabeth looked up at MaryHelen with tears pooled in her eyes. "How am I going to do it?" she whispered.

"You're going to do it just like you do everything else. With grace. You may not feel like it, but you are ready. I haven't done hardly anything this last week. You've done everything." MaryHelen hugged her a little tighter.

"I go back to work in a couple weeks. What if I can't do it all?" Elizabeth's eyes were pleading, and MaryHelen remembered feeling similarly when she went back to work a long time ago after having Henry.

"First, you don't need to do it all. You have a husband. He can do most of the housekeeping things. Tell him you need that if he doesn't see it on his own. Come home at night and love your baby and your husband. Everything else can wait, for the most part. Second, you'll figure it out as you go along. You'll try some things that don't work before you find things that do. Be patient with yourself. Babies are very forgiving. Just keep loving her. I have lots of faith in you. You are more than capable of doing this and making it work splendidly." MaryHelen gave her one last squeeze. "I'm only a phone call away. Don't hesitate to call me."

"I didn't really realize at the time that by loving Henry, I'd get to love you too. Thank you." Elizabeth turned and wrapped her arms fully around MaryHelen.

"I love you too Elizabeth."

Patrick, MaryHelen, and Erin left and after another hour or so, Will and Geoffrey left to catch their flight, leaving Henry and Elizabeth totally on their own for the first time since Stevie came home.

That evening, Henry and Elizabeth were curled into one another on the couch watching TV with Stevie nestled next to them. "I was really apprehensive about today," Elizabeth said.

"Why was that?" Henry pulled back a bit to look at her.

"Just a bunch of things. Maureen, and standing in front of everyone and being uncomfortable. Being out all day and feeding Stevie in public. Your mom going home. It was just a lot all for one day."

"How do you think it went?" Henry asked.

"So much better than I expected. Maureen was good. The Baptism was so much more than I thought it would be. Stevie did great and your mom gave me a pep talk before she left, so hopefully I'll be alright." Elizabeth tilted her head up and looked at Henry, "Tell me I'll be alright."

"You'll absolutely be alright." He bent down to kiss her. "Why was the Baptism more than you thought it would be? We went over everything." Henry was puzzled.

"Not like that. I knew what to expect. You prepped me well." She giggled and gave him a sweet kiss. "I just didn't expect to feel much except maybe uncomfortable about being in front of everyone, but it wasn't like that at all. It was rich and felt like it had significance and I was happy that she could have that when I never have. That probably sounds weird and I was reading too much into it."

"I don't think so. Not at all. Stevie now belongs to something bigger. Bigger than herself. Bigger than us. She's part of the Body of Christ. That is significant." Henry placed his head on top of hers.

"Yeah," she murmured, "It is pretty cool."

"You could have that too, you know," Henry said softly.

"I'm aware. I'm not there yet."

"Okay. Do you want to get ready for bed? Stevie will probably be waking soon. It's been a big day. We shoukd go to bed early."

"I'm going to take a quick shower. Call for me if she wakes up."

"Sure thing babe,". Elizabeth got up from the couch and headed off to the shower wondering how she would know if she was ready to make that commitment. Was she ready now and just didn't want to admit it to herself? That sounded like something to think about another day.


	74. Chapter 74

A/N: Here's the latest installment of McCord life. I struggled with this a bit. I hope it reads okay.

Chapter 74

October 1997

"Daddy, daddy," Stevie yelled as Henry opened the front door and she crashed into his legs. Henry scooped up his two and a half year old and planted kisses all over her face causing her to laugh uncontrollably. "Stop it Daddy," giggled Stevie. Henry put Stevie down on the floor and she toddled off toward the living room.

"Dr. McCord, Mrs. McCord came home and said she wasn't feeling well and went upstairs to lie down," said Katie, the babysitter.

"Thanks," he said. "If it's okay, can you stay a while longer? I'd like to go check on Elizabeth."

"Sure Dr. McCord. No problem."

Henry made his way up the stairs and down the hall to their bedroom. He hoped that when he opened the door he would find her napping, but that was so very uncharacteristic of Elizabeth. Even in these early weeks of her second pregnancy, when she was so exhausted, he would always find her down on the couch watching a TV show with Stevie or just sitting on the floor playing a game. The fact that she came upstairs, leaving Stevie with the sitter, was very unusual.

He barely pushed the door open and the scene before him broke his heart. Elizabeth was curled up on the bed, her back to him, crying. He climbed onto the bed, sliding in behind her. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Elizabeth turned over and curled into Henry's chest. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed, over and over. "It's all my fault." She was barely understandable, so Henry just held her close until she calmed a bit.

"What happened?" He continued to rub her back, holding her tightly.

She pushed him back so she could look him in the eye. "I lost the baby, Henry," she said quietly, tears filling her eyes again. "I'm so sorry," her words now, only a whisper.

Henry immediately pulled her back close. "What happened? Are you sure? Should we go to the doctor?" He was confused how all of this transpired over the course of the workday and she hadn't contacted him.

"I'm sure," she said tears still falling. "This morning, I had some mild cramping, but I didn't think too much of it. Then later I felt sick to my stomach and I went to the bathroom, and Henry there was blood, so I went straight to the doctor and there was nothing they could do." She buried her face in his shoulder.

"How come you didn't call?" Henry was devastated that not only had they lost their baby, but that Elizabeth shouldered that alone.

"There was no time until after and then I was so ashamed. It's my fault. I couldn't call and tell you that." Elizabeth said, her voice breaking the same way Henry's heart did.

"Oh Elizabeth. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It's just a terrible thing that happened," Henry murmured against her hair as his own tears surfaced. They lay together a long while and Henry thought she might have fallen asleep when she spoke, whispering into the dimness of the room.

"If I had given myself to God, do you think our baby would've been spared?"

"No, babe, not at all," Henry said, his heart breaking even further. "Please don't ever think that. That's not how it works. Bad things can happen to anyone, everyone at any time. God didn't do this, and you didn't either. Please stop blaming yourself."

"But I do."

"Give it some time. It's alright for us to not be okay, but there is no blame. I don't blame you." Elizabeth looked up at Henry. "I want you to listen to me. I don't blame you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to go down and let Katie go home and get dinner ready. Do you want me to bring it up here?"

"No. I'll come down in a bit. I love you. And thank you."

"I love you too, and I'm sorry you have to go through this." He laced his fingers together with hers. "We'll get through it together." He kissed her softly and got up off the bed.

After the door clicked shut, Elizabeth lay staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her now empty womb, wondering how Henry could have such strong, unwavering faith. She heard Stevie's little voice and the pans banging around in the kitchen. She knew that Henry had placed her up on the bar next to him so she could watch. It was a scene she had come home to many times and it warmed her heart. She got up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She pushed her sadness and guilt away because she had a family downstairs and she wanted that to be her priority.

In the following weeks, Elizabeth's emotions ran the gamut. Sometimes she was fine, preoccupied by the business of her job. Isabelle and Juliet were the only ones outside of Henry that knew she'd been pregnant, a fact for which she was grateful. She didn't want to have to explain the miscarriage over and over. It was bad enough that she kept getting the "How are you holding up?" questions from Juliet and the "aww fuck, Bess" she got from Isabelle when Isabelle found her crying in the stairwell. Of course, Isabelle sat down beside her and held her until she stopped crying. Then, true to Isabelle fashion, she swore that she would deny that any of it ever happened. She had a tough bitch image to protect after all.

At home, Elizabeth tried ignoring the miscarriage altogether for Stevie's sake. Stevie didn't understand why "mama sad," and Elizabeth couldn't explain it to her now-maybe in a few years, or never. Elizabeth was be fine with burying that pain forever.

Then there was Henry. Elizabeth found herself sitting on the steps leading off their deck into the backyard. It was 2 AM. She needed sleep, but she couldn't get their earlier discussion out of her head. She wasn't mad, but she had all sorts of conflicting emotions that needed sorting out.

Then, Elizabeth had been fine with having a second baby. The timing had been good. Henry had just finished his doctorate. He had a good job teaching. Elizabeth wasn't likely to get called away on assignment. She could start and stop her masters program as she needed to, although, she had hoped to be done before there was a new baby. They could definitely work a baby into the mix, a sibling for Stevie. She'd always wanted that.

Now, it was a different story. She'd miscarried at 6 weeks. There was no reason why. The doctor said there was no reason to think it would happen again. She was healthy, she'd carried Stevie with no problems. A fluke the doctor had said. Henry took that to mean they should try again immediately.

She rubbed her temples. It was cold sitting outside, but she wasn't aware of that. She was still lost in her thoughts, trying to figure out how she could make Henry see her point of view.

Earlier that evening, she was drying her face when Henry had waltzed into the bathroom and dropped the NFP folder on the vanity in front of her, grinning like a fool. "Guess what this says?" he asked, the anticipation keen in his voice.

She looked at his reflection in the mirror, her face contorted in disbelief. "I know exactly what it says," she said, then turned to him, "but we obviously have interpreted it differently."

Henry's expression changed to one of concern. "But the doctor said it was fine."

"I heard what the doctor said," Elizabeth snapped. "That doesn't mean we should just jump right back in. You know what could happen." Elizabeth's voice cracked and tears sprang to her eyes.

"I do know what could happen. We could have another baby." Henry stepped in and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her neck.

Elizabeth pushed him back. "We could lose another baby too. I can't do that again Henry. I'm just now to the point that when it crosses my mind and I don't completely break down. I can't do it. Not right now." She grew quiet and then mumbled, "Maybe not ever."

"You can't let the fear of what might happen overtake you. That's not who you are."

"That easy for you to say. It wasn't your body that betrayed you. It was mine." She looked at him, her eyes pleading, "Not now."

He simply said, "Alright," and walked out of the bathroom. She took longer than was necessary to get ready for bed, not knowing what would be waiting for her once she joined Henry. She slipped out to check on Stevie one more time before going to bed herself. As she lay down, Henry scooted closer and took her hand. "We'll give it a while and revisit the idea later."

Elizabeth lay in bed for an hour or more, listening to the soft, rhythmic sounds of Henry's breathing. Her mind was racing and she was restless. Carefully she extricated herself from Henry and quietly exited the room. Elizabeth peeked into Stevie's room and saw her little girl sprawled across her toddler bed, the one that Henry had recently converted from her crib. She looked so big, so grown up, not so much a baby anymore. She wasn't sure why, but it made her incredibly sad that Stevie's babyhood had passed so quickly.

Elizabeth remembered the long nights and dragging herself into work only to listen to Isabelle drone on about having to carry her weight. She smiled at that. But it was at this time of night that Stevie would wake and Elizabeth would go to her and they would sit together in the rocking chair and Elizabeth would nurse her back to sleep and it didn't matter what else was going on in the world, everything would be right in that moment. She missed those moments of peace and stillness.

Elizabeth quietly closed Stevie's door and went downstairs. She took her heavy coat off the hook and went out on the deck. The air was crisp, a little cooler than usual. She sat down on the top step and looked out at the stars. She realized that she missed the days of their old college apartment when she could just take a walk and often ended up in the Adoration chapel. They had moved a handful of times since then, most recently buying their first house, a place that they would stay in long term. A place to raise their family.

Henry had assured her that God would listen to her no matter the spot she chose to communicate from, but she always felt like it made more sense to do it there. But, it was now after 2 AM and church was 20 minutes away and she hadn't actually stepped foot in it yet. First there was the move, then the pregnancy fatigue and nausea, then the miscarriage and now just nothingness. Henry never said anything and sometimes she felt like that was more judgment than actually calling her out on not going. Rationally, she knew that was more her own guilty conscience than anything Henry did, but it was just easier to deflect than to address it within herself.

Even though he said nothing to Elizabeth, Henry made sure he got Stevie up and ready every Sunday morning. Stevie called it her "Daddy date with God." It consisted of Mass, followed by donuts and a personal delivery of one of Elizabeth's favorite danishes and a cup of coffee. Elizabeth smiled as she thought of Stevie's big smile as she would run in and hop up into Elizabeth's lap and hand her the white paper bag. "Mama, we bwought you a tweat." Stevie would then sit and watch Elizabeth eat the pastry and wait for Elizabeth to offer her a few bites.

Elizabeth shook her head, her mind kept going all different directions. She needed to pray. Pray for what exactly, she wasn't sure. It always felt so stilted and weird. Did she want another baby? Yes, she had and even now it wasn't that she didn't want a baby. It was that she didn't want the loss. So maybe she should ask for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. When the time was right. Not now. She'd pray about that later. Right now, it was very early in the morning and she had to be at work in a few hours. God could wait.


	75. Chapter 75

AN: Wow! We haven't seen an update here in a while. It was so long ago in fact that I had to go reread the last 12 or so chapter to figure out what was happening! I'll try to do better and not wait so long next time. If you've hung in this long on this fic, you are definitely the persevering type. Congrats to us both. Reviews are always appreciated.

Chapter 75

January 1998

Henry was out of town for a week long conference and Elizabeth was out of sorts. It had been a terrible week. Stevie was acting very three, even though she wouldn't actually be three for three more months). Elizabeth was just plain fit to be tied. She got home on Friday night and Stevie was cranky and Elizabeth had had enough. She threw some clothes in a bag, tossed a kicking and screaming Stevie over her shoulder and put her in the car. "We're going to see Grandma and Grandpa."

After eating a Happy Meal and having a leftover sucker from a trip the to bank the previous week, Stevie was a much happier child. They made the drive in record time and pulled up in front of the McCord house just a bit before midnight. It was only then that Elizabeth thought that she probably should've called ahead first.

Carrying a sleeping Stevie up the front walk in the frigid night air, Elizabeth hoped that she wouldn't scare them to death by showing up at this hour. She hit the doorbell and after a minute, she heard movement inside. The porch light flickered on and Stevie groaned.

The door opened and Elizabeth saw a rather drowsy looking Patrick in front of her. "What the hell Elizabeth? We have a phone you know."

"I thought about that after the fact. So do I get to come in or should I go back home?"

He stepped back so she could step inside and then took Stevie from her. "I'll put her in Maureen's bed. Erin's not here so you can have her bed." Elizabeth nodded and went back outside to get their bags from the car. Coming back in, she was met by MaryHelen.

"Elizabeth?" she asked.

"I just needed a change in scenery," Elizabeth replied.

"Henry?"

"He's fine. He's at that conference until Tuesday. Really. I just needed to get away from the house."

"Right. We'll talk tomorrow. Patrick already has Stevie back to sleep I'm sure. You get some rest."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said and MaryHelen pulled her into a warm embrace. The week weighed on her heavily and she worked hard to make it upstairs and behind closed doors before she let the tears fall.

She slipped under the covers and listened to Stevie's soft breathing across the room. She lay there, sleeping a few minutes here and there, but unable to really settle down. It was just after 5 when she finally gave up and pulled on a sweatshirt over her tee before going downstairs. The smell of coffee met her about halfway down the stairs. Pushing the swinging door open, she saw Patrick rummaging around in the fridge. "Anything good in there?"

He jumped a bit and she chuckled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay. I'm not used to anyone being up at this time of day. Did you sleep at all?"

"A little. I've been having trouble sleeping recently."

"You and Henry. You okay?" he asked.

"We're fine. He's just at a conference through early next week and Stevie is excelling at being a toddler and I haven't been sleeping and I just needed a change of scenery."

"Cold fried chicken?" he offered.

"Sure." She pulled a paper plate out of the cabinet and pulled a piece of chicken from the container before pouring a cup of coffee. She sat down opposite her father-in-law.

"How's the spy business?"

"Incredibly busy. Lots of sifting through stuff trying to decide if it's important or not."

"Don't screw it up. There's a lot of good men that have their lives on the line."

"I know. That doesn't weigh on me at all." She took a drink of coffee. "How's the steel business?"

"Same as it's always been. We're trying to keep manufacturing business in the country. The government is making it lucrative to send jobs overseas. Just a bunch of rich guys trying to screw the little guy over."

Elizabeth smirked. She'd known Patrick almost 10 years and she had the same conversation at least once every time she saw him, but she found that he'd softened some since Stevie was born. He wasn't quite so gruff and she'd seen how he was with Stevie and Tommy. He loved his grandbabies. Now Maureen was about to have her second baby any day. If she were honest with herself, she was jealous of Maureen. Maureen seemed to have no trouble getting, or staying, pregnant. She sighed. Those kind of feelings would do her no good.

Patrick excused himself to start his day's plans. Elizabeth sat for a long time staring at the table. MaryHelen made her way into the kitchen about 6. She took one look at Elizabeth, who sat, lost in thought, wringing her hands under the table.

MaryHelen made herself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Elizabeth. She chuckled at Elizabeth, who even with her years of CIA training could be completely oblivious to her surroundings. She reached over and touched Elizabeth's arm.

Elizabeth snapped to attention. "Sorry." She shook her head as if trying to clear it. "I was just zoned out. How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to know you didn't just show up on our doorstep for a change in scenery. What's really going on?" MaryHelen put her arm on the back of the chair Elizabeth was sitting in.

"For the record, I did come for a change of scenery, but now that I'm here, I realize that's not the only reason." MaryHelen said nothing. She just sat there waiting. Elizabeth smirked at the older woman. "You are excellent at waiting people out, you know that?"

"I like to think of it as letting them collect their thoughts," she said, amused.

"Have you ever wanted something not to happen and then got upset when it didn't?"

MaryHelen scrunched up her nose. "I'm not following."

"Of course you aren't because I'm making no sense." Elizabeth rubbed her tired eyes. She took a deep breath and let it all tumble out at once. "We were trying for a baby and I had a miscarriage and Henry wanted, well wants, to try again and I absolutely do not want to, but I misread my calendar and I thought for the last two weeks that I might be and I was so scared and then I wasn't but instead of being relieved, I'm sad and upset. What is wrong with me?"

MaryHelen swept Elizabeth into her arms and hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry. When? Why didn't you say anything? Oh honey,"

"October."

"How far along were you?'

"Six weeks." Elizabeth pulled away and blinked back the few tears that had formed. "It was really bad, but I'm better now."

"It's the worst kind of pain I've ever experienced," she said placing her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder.

"You had a miscarriage? I'm sorry. I didn't know "

"I've had three. And I don't talk about it much. It's not something someone brings up over lunch."

"Yeah. Because no one wants to hear about that. And it was only six weeks, how attached could I possibly get?"

"No! Tell me that someone didn't actually say that," MaryHelen murmured.

"She won't ever say it again," Elizabeth said recalling the screaming rampage that ensued after Isabelle had made the off handed comment several weeks after it happened. She snapped back to the conversation. "Three? I barely survived one. I don't think I could go through it more than once."

"Well, when it happens, you don't have a choice," MaryHelen said.

"But how did you get to the point where you were fine trying knowing that it might happen again?"

"My situation was different. Mine all happened before I had Henry, so the desire to have at least one child was great. Already having Stevie, I'm sure you have a different mindset."

"Did you have trouble getting pregnant? It didn't just happen with Stevie like I thought it would, but the second time, we only tried a couple months, so it feels like it's either difficult to get pregnant or difficult to stay pregnant."

MaryHelen studied Elizabeth for a moment, and Elizabeth immediately backtracked, "If you don't want to tell me or it's too personal, that's fine. I didn't mean to pry."

"No. Some things just get pushed down far enough that it's hard to bring them back. My first miscarriage was when I was 16. Truthfully, at the time, I looked at it as a blessing. I wasn't very far along, probably not even 6 weeks, and I was terrified to tell my mother. My boyfriend at the time was not the best and I had no intention of having a lasting relationship with him, so honestly I was thankful. I looked at it as something working in my favor. I could just forget it ever happened. Then, by the time I was married and had back to back miscarriages four months apart, I really thought it was punishment for being happy about the first one and I doubted my ability to be able to have children at all. Then two months later, Henry was conceived and I carried him to term and that was that. The others came like stairsteps afterward. There was never any diagnosed problem, so I don't know."

"Did you tell Patrick about the first one?" Elizabeth asked.

"Not right away, but not because I was trying to hide anything. It just didn't seem important until I miscarried again." They sat in silence for a while. "So what's your story?"

"It's not much. It was easier to get pregnant the second time, just two months. But six weeks in, I started bleeding and that was it. The doctor doesn't have a reason. He just said that sometimes it happens."

"And you haven't tried again?" MaryHelen asked.

"Henry was, and is, more than ready, but I just couldn't bring myself to take the chance. But the thing is that this month, I misread the chart and I really thought there was a good possibility that I had conceived, and I was so scared and upset and I made myself sick, but then I started my period and I was devastated. I still am. It's like I didn't want it to happen, but I did. And I don't know what that means." Elizabeth leaned back in the chair, deflated.

"Do you want another baby?" MaryHelen asked.

"Yes." Elizabeth was sure about that.

"Then at some point the desire will outweigh the fear. Honestly, it sounds like you're close. The fact that you are upset that it didn't happen makes me think you really want it. And yes, it will be scary. And yes, it could happen again. And, if it does, you'll make it through."

"It was so awful," Elizabeth said, and MaryHelen took her hand.

"I recall. I walked that road. It is so terribly painful, but the flipside is the joy you could have. You know there is no amount of pain that can diminish that feeling of complete love you feel for your baby."

"Yeah," Elizabeth said, resigned. "Thanks for talking it out with me. I'm going to go check on Stevie and hopefully lay down for a little bit. I didn't sleep much." MaryHelen pulled her into a hug.

"You could also pray about it," MaryHelen said quietly as Elizabeth rose from the table.

Elizabeth gave her a weak smile. "I could."

Thankfully, Stevie was still sleeping and Elizabeth slipped back between the covers in Erin's bed. Suddenly her body felt heavy, so heavy that she couldn't move. Exhaustion tugged at her. "God make it clear," she thought before succumbing to sleep.

Elizabeth's eyes fluttered open and she was immediately disoriented by the sunlight shining through the window. She squinted her eyes against the sun and rolled over, fumbling for her glasses. Slipping them on, she read the clock. "Holy crap!" she muttered and sat up. Stevie's bed was empty and the clock read 11:58. She wondered how she could have possibly slept through Stevie waking.

Elizabeth hurried downstairs to find MaryHelen and Stevie playing some sort of made up card game in which Stevie picked up cards and frequently called out, "I win!" Turning her attention to Elizabeth standing at the bottom on the stairs, she yelled out, "Mama! You wake!"

"Yes. I slept a long time. How long have you been up?"

"I think she came wandering down around 9," MaryHelen said, "and we had breakfast and we played dollhouse and blocks and cards and we were just getting ready for lunch."

"Thanks for keeping track of her," Elizabeth said to MaryHelen as they entered the kitchen.

"You look like you finally slept. Do you feel better?" her mother-in-law asked.

"I do. Sleep is a wonderful thing."

"And the other thing?" she asked.

Elizabeth responded, "I think Henry and I need to have a talk, but I do have a bit more peace about it than I did earlier."

"Good. Let's get this girl fed." MaryHelen helped Stevie up into the chair and together they prepared lunch.

The rest of the weekend went much the same way. MaryHelen and then Patrick once he got home, took turns playing with Stevie and it gave Elizabeth some much needed downtime.

Sunday morning the pair rolled out of bed and Elizabeth got Stevie and herself ready for Mass. "Mama, you going with me?" Stevie asked in awe.

"Daddy isn't here, so I thought I'd take you. Is that alright?"

"Who's gonna eat the donut?" Stevie asked.

"Well, I bet Grandma is going to make a big breakfast when we come back, so how about if we save the donut for the ride home? What do you think?"

"I guess so," Stevie said, seeming to be unsure of this change to the routine.

"It will be okay. I promise," Elizabeth picked Stevie and carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Patrick and MaryHelen were sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Seeing Stevie, MaryHelen popped up and got a glass and filled it half full of milk for Stevie. "It's alright if we go to Mass with you, isn't it?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course dear, That's fine. We'd love to show Stevie off. And I think Tommy will be there too. They were planning on coming for breakfast after." Stevie clapped her hands together. She'd been asking about playing with Tommy the day before.

Mass was uneventful and Elizabeth was impressed with how well Stevie behaved and participated. For being not quite three years old, Elizabeth thought she did exceptionally well. She made note to mention it to Henry, since that was his doing.

Afterwards, they were making their way out of the pew when Elizabeth felt a tug at her elbow. "Maggie! How are you?" The older lady reached out and pulled Elizabeth into a fierce hug.

"I'm well. I just came to tell you hi and brag on what a wonderful job Miss Stephanie did during Mass this morning. You were so well behaved, " she addressed Stevie.

"It's Stevie, not Stephanie," Stevie gave Maggie a hard look.

"I stand corrected. Stevie you were well behaved today during Mass. Just like a big girl."

Stevie beamed. "Thank you," she said. The two women made small talk and were joined by MaryHelen and Maureen. Tommy came up and he and Stevie started chasing each other around their mothers' legs, giggling. MaryHelen caught Tommy and hauled him up and Patrick did the same with Stevie.

"We've got the kids. We'll see you at home," Patrick said, taking off in the direction of the car. MaryHelen followed.

Maureen and Elizabeth bid Maggie goodbye and headed to the parking lot themselves. "Where's Tom?" Elizabeth asked.

"Since he had to switch shifts, he doesn't come with us very much anymore. But, at least he's Catholic." Maureen said.

"Of course, she'd have to throw that in," Elizabeth thought, but let it drop, not willing to start a fight with Maureen.

Maureen headed to the house and Elizabeth followed in her car. They walked up the walk together. "How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked.

"Like a beached whale," Maureen responded. "I'm to that point where I have to pee every 10 seconds, but can only pee a thimble full at a time, every joint hurts and my skin is stretched so much I itch constantly. Other than that, I'm fabulous."

"Sounds miserable," Elizabeth said. "How much longer?"

"Three weeks or so," Maureen replied. "So are you and Henry going to try for another munchkin?"

"It's up in the air right now," Elizabeth said, shifting her eyes away from Maureen. "Maybe."

"You should. Motherhood looks good on you." Elizabeth stopped on the porch waiting for the inevitable insult that Maureen was going to throw, but it didn't come. She just walked into the house. "Are you coming? We're not heating the outdoors."

It was late in the afternoon, when Elizabeth finally tore a tired Stevie away from a tired Tommy and strapped her into her carseat and headed out. Stevie immediately fell asleep and it gave Elizabeth plenty of time to think about things. Of all the words of wisdom she'd heard, it was Maureen's that had the greatest impact. She was really surprised that Maureen would comment and be positive at the same time, and she seemed to be sincere. By the time they pulled into the driveway, Elizabeth had figured out what she wanted to do and she just had to wait for Henry to return home.

Henry dragged his bags into the house and dropped them at the end of the couch. It had been a long conference and he thought he'd catch a nap before I picking Stevie up at daycare. He double checked his watch. She'd be napping now anyway and he didn't want to mess that up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was then that he noticed it. Elizabeth was home. He could smell her perfume-to fresh to be from this morning. He took off into the kitchen. Her coffee was on the table, still warm. He was about to head upstairs, when he heard the washing machine kick on. He smiled and headed that direction. She was walking through the doorway and jumped when she saw him. He chuckled. "Sorry babe." He pulled the laundry basket from her arms and dropped it to the floor and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I missed you so much." He kissed her softly. "What are you doing home though? You hardly ever take off. Are you sick? Stevie?"

She smiled and kissed him again. "Nothing's wrong. Stevie is at daycare. I just got here a few minutes before you. Long enough to pour a cup of coffee and to start a load of laundry. I wanted to be here when you got home. We need to talk."

Concern flashed across Henry's face. "Of course. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Some things just happened while you were gone and I want to tell you about it." She kicked the laundry basket back into the laundry room and took Henry's hand. "Come on," she said, leading him to the living room.

They sat on the couch. Elizabeth curled into Henry's side. "I need this for a minute. It was a long week with you gone. This further proves that I never want to be a single parent."

Putting his finger in her chin, he tipped her head back and kissed her again. "It was most certainly a long week." She rested her head against his shoulder. "Okay, what's going on?"

"I took Stevie to Pittsburgh this weekend." Henry's eyes widened in surprise. "It was completely on a whim. I showed up unannounced on their doorstep at midnight," Elizabeth recalled.

"Oh, I bet Dad had great things to say about that!" he chuckled. "But why?"

She smiled, "He said something about not being able to use a phone, but he was fine. I wasn't really sure why I went, but I just needed to get away from here. I was so sad and depressed and Stevie was being crazy and I just couldn't take it."

"Aw, babe. I'm so sorry."

"No it's fine. I realized that wasn't really the reason I was there." The line across Henry's forehead deepened. "I don't know how close you pay attention, but I misread the NFP chart and there was a good chance that this month I conceived. I realized my mistake the day after and I was terrified that I was pregnant, so I've spent the last couple of weeks worrying myself sick."

"And?" Henry said, a mix of worry and hope spread across his face.

"I'm not," she said, and watched Henry make a conscious effort to try and not look disappointed.

"But the thing is that I was broken hearted. Like I didn't want to be pregnant, but I did at the same time. So anyway, I had a long talk with your mom and exchanged a few words with Maureen and I think I'm ready."

"Ready?" Henry asked, the corners of his mouth starting to turn up.

"Ready to try again," she said. Henry broke out in a wide smile, and he pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered into her ear. "Thank you for being so brave. I know how scared you are. No matter what happens, we'll face it together.

"Always," she whispered back as he moved to kiss her.


	76. Chapter 76

AN: So, it's been a while since this story was updated. I hope to finish this one and Uncle Henry before the end of the year.

Reviews are always appreciated, and thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. I know it takes time and is sometimes an inconvenience, so you effort is much loved!

Chapter 76

December 1998

There was joyous noise all around. Stevie and Tommy had opened their presents and the men, including Erin's new husband, Michael, were all gathered around, ready to assemble their new toys. Maureen was in the recliner nursing Hannah, who wasn't quite a baby anymore. She would be one in a couple months. Jennifer, Shane's wife, was in the bedroom trying to get two month old, Sarah, down for a nap. Erin crawled around on the floor, picking up the discarded wrapping paper and boxes, shoving it all in a trash bag. MaryHelen was missing, but Elizabeth assumed she was in the kitchen preparing some kind of snack. That was one thing about the McCord home, you were never hungry.

Elizabeth rested her hand on her growing baby bump and let her mind wander. She was six months pregnant and finally able to relax a little. It took a few months of not preventing before two months of consciously trying to get pregnant before it happened. Elizabeth was sure she didn't take a full breath until she was twelve weeks and even then she was only cautiously optimistic. She'd had some morning sickness with Stevie, but it didn't hold a candle to this baby. Elizabeth found herself feeling nauseous all day everyday for months. She'd only started feeling better a couple weeks ago and was so thankful.

But, once she actually thought about it, she'd been thankful for being sick as much as she was thankful for feeling better. Every time she threw up because of her hormones, she knew it was because there was still a baby, a baby that was alive and growing. And kicking. She felt a strong kick, so much so, she was sure that everyone could see her stomach move.

Henry was by her side within seconds. "You okay, babe?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Why?"

"Your hand just shot off your stomach." She laughed and explained about the kicking. Henry laid his head on her stomach. Just like that,the baby quieted. Henry pulled away after a few minutes. "I'm never going to catch this baby kick."

"But your presence calms and quiets. You'll be invaluable after she's born," she teased, giving him a kiss.

"She?" Henry questioned. Elizabeth nodded grinning. Henry grimaced, causing her to laugh. They had decided not to find out the sex of the baby, but it became a running joke that Elizabeth always referred to the baby as "she" and Henry as "he." It wasn't specifically that they wanted a boy or a girl, but calling the baby "it" seemed unpersonal. So they divided the pronouns, and then always raised an eyebrow when the pronoun was used as if to say "are you sure?"

"I'm going to see what your mom is up to." Henry stood first and offered Elizabeth a hand up. She gratefully took it, having recently noticed that her center of gravity had already changed. With Stevie, she was much farther along before she felt so off balance.

She made her way into the kitchen, where sure enough, MaryHelen stood at the stove stirring something in a large pan. "There you are. You disappeared. What are you making now?"

"Hot cocoa for everyone. The hustle and bustle of opening everything was getting overwhelming. I figured someone else could handle the clean up."

"Erin's got it." Elizabeth studied the woman in front of her. "Are you feeling alright?" Elizabeth had felt something was off earlier in the day, but now she was sure of it.

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well last night. Excitement about today I suppose." MaryHelen turned back to the stove, continuing to stir the cocoa. Elizabeth interpreted that as the end of the discussion. She leaned against the counter awkwardly for a moment before bending down to get the styrofoam cups from the lower cabinet.

"Do you have marshmallows?" she asked.

MaryHelen smiled. "Would it be cocoa without marshmallows? They're in the pantry."

Elizabeth stepped away and returned with the bag and placed it on the counter near the cups. "I started taking the discernment classes to become Catholic," Elizabeth blurted out.

MaryHelen turned and smiled. "Really. That's nice."

Elizabeth's hand flew to her mouth for a moment before she spoke. "Oh my gosh, I'm not sure why I told you that. Henry doesn't even know. If you don't mind, please don't mention it."

MaryHelen cocked her head to the side. "How have you managed to keep that from him?"

Elizabeth dropped her eyes. "I take a long lunch with the girls on Tuesdays, so I work later to make up for it. The girls happen to be four other ladies that meet with Sr. Cecilia from St. Patrick's Church near Langley. Henry just assumed the girls were people I work with and I didn't correct him."

"Why? You know he'd support you in anything you wanted to do."

"Of course he would, but he'd also be hurt terribly if I go through the whole thing and don't follow through. Henry says he doesn't care, but we both know that isn't true. He cares deeply."

"He does, but he might also be hurt by not being included." MaryHelen studied Elizabeth. "Why now? Does it have to do with the baby?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not really. It has more to do with Stevie. I want her to be able to come to me with any problem she has and even though she's three, she already knows that I'm not the one she can go to with questions about God."

MaryHelen took two of the cups and filled them with cocoa. She handed one to Elizabeth and motioned her to join her at the table. "What happened?" Elizabeth feigned confusion which MaryHelen ignored. "Something happened with Stevie that was the catalyst for this sudden change of heart."

"It's going to sound dumb when I say it out loud."

MaryHelen shrugged. "It probably only sounds dumb to you."

"One day this past summer, Henry was at work and Stevie had this giant meltdown at lunch and it took forever to figure out the problem. I finally discovered that she had forgotten the words to the Prayer Before Meals and when I told her that I could help, she said that I didn't know anything about God and praying. Even when I told her that I did know the words, she didn't believe me. I eventually got it worked out, but it made me feel inept and like if she couldn't trust that I had answers for simple things like that, then how would she trust me with big things?" MaryHelen just looked at Elizabeth. "See you think it's dumb."

"No. I think it's interesting how little Miss Stephanie is the one who pushed you without even meaning to. Phyllis would be unimpressed that her efforts all these years were unsuccessful and Stevie did it without trying."

Elizabeth's eyes went wide. "I don't think Phyllis needs to know about this at all." MaryHelen laughed.

"Anyway, what do you think so far?"

"I'm surprised that there haven't been many things that I didn't already know."

"Hazard of being married to Henry I suppose," MaryHelen said.

"What's a hazard of being married to me?" Henry asked walking into the kitchen.

"Having to put up with the rest of us," MaryHelen answered, not missing a beat.

That night they lay together, Henry's chest pressed to her back, his hand resting on her stomach, keeping baby McCord asleep as well. "Are you doing okay?" he asked.

Elizabeth turned to look over her shoulder. "I'm fine. Why?"

"Just Mom's comment today. I wanted to make sure," he said.

Elizabeth sighed. "We were talking about something entirely different." She pushed him back so she could roll over. "This is how a turtle feels when it gets stuck on it's back. I'm sure of it." Henry chuckled at her, but pulled her over to face him. "We were talking about RCIA classes."

"Really? Are you interested in going to see what it's about?" he said.

"I actually started in September." Elizabeth shifted her eyes to look over Henry's head rather than at him.

"You did?" he asked, pushing up on his arm to get a better look at her.

She nodded. "Yeah. Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad about that?" he asked.

"Because I didn't tell you. I was afraid that you would take it personally if I decided not to pursue it."

"I love you no matter what. I want you to be happy. If this makes you happy, then great. If you are doing it because you think it will make me happy, then it's not necessary."

"I'm doing it because of Stevie," Elizabeth said. Even in the nearly dark room, Elizabeth could see the crease in his forehead as he tried to process that.

"I don't want her to think less of me because I don't do God the way you do, and the way she does."

"Babe. She's three. I don't think she has a good understanding of the situation." Henry pressed a kiss to her temple. "Look, if this is what you want to do, I'm all for it. But Stevie will come to understand one way or the other." Elizabeth said nothing, but pulled Henry closer and kissed him.

March 20, 1999

Henry felt the nurse wrap her fingers around his arm and pull him back. "Mr. McCord, you need to step back. We are prepping your wife for surgery." Henry stumbled backwards, stopped by the wall only a few feet behind him and watched the scene play out before him. Three nurses were crowded into the small room doing various tasks. They had dropped the stirrups and unhooked the monitors, tossing the various wires and cords across Elizabeth's body. Her eyes met his. They were full of fear.

Henry was unable to move. He couldn't hear, the sound of his pounding heartbeat drowning out everything else. He watched her mouth his name and he couldn't answer, his throat unable to produce sound. "Sir?" Someone grabbed him by the shoulder forcing his attention away from the scene. An orderly was standing next to him with surgical scrubs. "Put these on over your clothes." Henry just stared at him. He wanted to move, but couldn't get his body to obey his brain. The guy shoved the scrubs at his chest and said, "Get it together man. She needs you." Henry snapped out of his trance and tugged the top over his shirt and pulled the pants on. The orderly handed him elastic booties. "Put these on over your shoes."

They started wheeling Elizabeth out of the room and Henry followed her out, rushing to catch up to her side. He slipped his hand into hers. "Elizabeth, babe, you're going to be fine. The baby, he's is going to be fine."

"Hen-Henry. My head," she mumbled. "Can't see anymore." Her pupils were dilated. The sinking feeling in Henry's stomach grew with each step they took. The doors to the OR swung open.

"No time for a spinal. Put her under." Henry was unable to tell which masked face gave the command.

Henry kissed her forehead. "I love you," he said.

The orderly took him by the arm. "Sir, you are going to have to leave. You can't be here if they are using general anesthesia."

"Henry?" Henry met her gaze. "Make sure she knows I love her," Elizabeth said, just before they put the mask over her face and the orderly pushed Henry from the room.


	77. Chapter 77

AN: Look! It's an update in a reasonable time frame! Woo hoo!

Chapter 77

The orderly pushed Henry out of the OR, the giant doors swinging closed behind them. "Someone will come out and give you an update when it's over," he said.

The lump rose in Henry's throat to the point that he was unable to breath. "When it's over?" he croaked.

"The surgery. They are taking the baby by Cesarean section. Your wife's blood pressure is too high and the baby is in distress. A nurse will be out soon," the man started to step away.

"Will they both be okay? They will be okay, right?" Henry pleaded with the man.

The man shook his head. "I don't make promises like that. I do know that Dr. Arnes is the best OB doctor we have on staff. Your wife and baby will have the best care possible."

"I need a priest. Can you get a priest here?" Henry tried to keep his voice steady, his breathing calm, but he could feel his heart pounding and the blood rushing through his veins. The orderly nodded and squeeze his shoulder before disappearing. Henry fell back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting with his knees pressed against his chest. Letting his head fall forward, he prayed.

Only a few moments passed when the sound of chimes could be heard over the hospital intercom. The chimes were sounded with the birth of each baby. He hadn't been aware of anyone else that was as close to delivery as Elizabeth. It had to be their baby. Their baby had been born, yet no one was coming to tell him anything. The next announcement made Henry's heart tear in two. "Paging Dr. Daniels. Paging Dr. Daniels to OR 4." Henry fought with every ounce of willpower he had not to look up at the room number of the OR across from where he was sitting. Just when he couldn't fight the urge, a man breezed by him and threw the door open as he rushed into OR 4. "God, no," he murmured.

Henry sat against the wall. The only thing he could see was the look of fear in Elizabeth's eyes and her last words played on repeat, "make sure she knows I love her." Henry was just about to fall over the edge and break down completely when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Mr. McCord?" Henry looked up. "Hi, I'm Fr. Mike. Let's go to the nursery and meet your daughter."

Henry scrambled to his feet. "But what about-?"

"They'll come get you. Let's go." Henry followed Fr. Mike down a series of long halls. When they arrived at the nursery, they could see the group of nurses and doctors crowded in adjacent room. Henry looked through the window and shuddered. "Boy or girl?" Fr. Mike asked.

Henry shook his head. "We wanted it to be a surprise."

Fr. Mike wrapped his arm around Henry's shoulders. "Not many couples wait to find out. What names have you picked out?"

"Allison Mary or Jason Patrick." Henry met the priests's gaze. "If our baby is in trouble, he needs to be baptized." Fr. Mike nodded.

"Stay here. I'll find out." Fr. Mike swiped his badge, and walked into the nursery. Henry watched him speak to the nurse, and then he turned and motioned Henry to the door. Fr. Mike let him in. "Come on back. The doctor can speak with you for a few minutes and you can decide what you would like to do."

Henry nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He took a few steps toward the back weaving around a couple of empty isolettes. A man entered from the back and extended his hand. "Mr. McCord. I'm Thomas Daniels. I'm the pediatrician on call tonight." Henry nodded, waiting for the next bit of information. "Your daughter was in distress during labor. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her chest and with each contraction, the umbilical cord was squeezed limiting blood flow. Because she was delivered by C-section, we have no reason to believe that she suffered any long-term effects. However, she is very small for her gestational age, so we think that the umbilical cord was not providing all of the nutrition she needed. She's having some difficulty breathing and maintaining her body temperature. We've given her steroids to help her lungs develop a little quicker and she'll be on oxygen until we can be assured that her lungs are working well enough that she can breathe on her own."

"Your daughter," Henry smiled briefly. A girl. Stevie would be ecstatic. Then the rest of the doctor's words were processed. "Very small." "Difficulty breathing." "Steroids." "Breathe on her own."

"She'll be okay?" Henry asked, because he couldn't ask the flip side of that question.

"She's small and she's at risk for infection. There could be scarring on her lungs, but those are things we won't know for a while. Right now, she's stable and that's what we want. We'll give her time and see how she does. You are welcome to come back and see her." Dr. Daniels stepped back, allowing Henry to enter the room.

Henry wasn't sure which way his body would go. Part of him wanted to rush to Allison's side and the other part was terrified to do so. He tentatively made his way to the doorway, but as he saw his baby girl in the isolette, he stepped quickly to her side. The lump in his throat grew to an unimaginable size. She was beautiful with a perfectly round, full head of dark hair, flawless skin, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Henry couldn't wrap his mind around how tiny she was. "How much does she weigh?" he asked the nurse standing on the opposite side of the bed. She smiled at Henry and removed the card that was taped to her side and handed it to him. "Baby girl McCord. 4 pounds, 10 ounces, 18 inches long." He thanked the woman as he handed the card back. "Hello there baby girl. It's Daddy," Henry switched his focus to the woman. "Can you tell me what all this stuff is?" He gestured to the wires.

The nurse pointed out the pulse/oxygen monitor taped to Allison's toe, the heart monitor pads stuck to several places on her chest, the oxygen line running to her nose that was taped to her cheeks, and the IV line in the top of her head, a small area shaved where the needle penetrated her scalp. "You have to put the IV there?" Henry asked.

"Tiny babies have tiny veins. The veins on the scalp are the easiest for us to get to and hurt less getting them placed." Henry watched his baby girl's chest rise and fall and suddenly his head shot up. "Where's my wife? Fr. Mike said they would come and get me."

"Let me go check for you. I'll be right back." The nurse caught the attention of the other lady in the room to let her know she was stepping away. She returned almost immediately. "Dr. Arens will be in to see you shortly."

At the mention of his name, Fr. Mike stepped out of the shadows. "Mr. McCord. Would you like me to baptize Allison?" Henry looked from his daughter to the priest and back again. The words of Dr. Daniels floated around in his mind again.

It could be that Allison would be fine and they would be leaving the hospital in a few days. It could be that Allison would take a rapid turn in and not make it. He shuddered at the thought. "Baptize her." he said to Fr. Mike. "Please?" There was no pomp and circumstance, no candles, no white garments, no oils. Only Holy Water and the only words that mattered. Allison didn't even flinch and that scared Henry as much as the necessity of doing the Baptism itself.

"Mr. McCord?" Henry snapped to attention staring at the man who had just walked into the room. The man extended his hand. "I'm Dr. Arnes. I am the OB on call tonight. Can we sit and talk a minute?"

"How's Elizabeth?" Henry asked, not moving from Allison's side.

"She made it through surgery. Let's sit and talk." Dr. Arnes motioned to the pair of chairs only a few feet away from where Henry was standing.

The man's words sounded ominous and Henry didn't think he wanted to know what the doctor had to say, but he moved toward the chairs anyway. "Your wife developed a very serious condition called preeclampsia. She had no signs of it before today, so we believe that it was triggered by labor. Essentially her blood pressure was elevated to a dangerous level. Delivery usually solves the problem and blood pressure drops down on its own. Elizabeth's blood pressure didn't immediately drop and she had a seizure. A side effect of all this is that her blood thinned as well and it made controlling her bleeding difficult. Right now, we have purposely sedated her to give her body time to reset, so to speak. We will wean her off of the sedative over the next day and see how she comes out of it."

Henry was overwhelmed and confused. "She had a seizure? Is she okay? How did that happen? I thought you were giving her medication to get her blood pressure down."

"The medication we gave her didn't have a chance to work the way it was supposed to. She had the seizure before the meds kicked in. So right now, we really don't know if it affected her at all. It could be nothing. Once she wakes up, we'll see."

"Can I see her?" he asked. The doctor nodded, shook hands with Henry and left. A few minutes later, an orderly arrived to take him to Elizabeth's room. He reluctantly left Allison and followed the man. I wasn't until they stepped on the elevator that Henry questioned where they were going, then he looked at the label next to the illuminated number 5-ICU. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. The pull of the elevator compounded the sinking feeling in his stomach.

The man was making some sort of small talk and Henry wasn't sure if he was responding or not, his mind completely focused on Elizabeth and what he was going to find when he reached her. Henry followed the man out of the elevator and through the locked double doors down a hall of rooms with glass fronts. "Here we are." The orderly pointed to a sliding door. "You can ditch those scrubs whenever you want." Henry looked down and for the first time in a couple hours remembered that he was wearing surgical scrubs. He shed them quickly and slid the glass door to the side.

Henry's heart pounded when he saw Elizabeth. She lay straight in the bed, the blankets neatly covering her, her blond hair tucked neatly around her face. It didn't look like sleeping Elizabeth at all. He stood at the side of the bed and slipped his hand under hers and squeezed. "We have a baby girl," he whispered. "She's beautiful, just like you. Stevie is going to adore her." Stevie. For the first time since Elizabeth was wheeled toward the OR, he thought of things other than the situation right in front of him.

He dug his cell phone out of his pocket, thankful in that moment that Elizabeth insisted on getting phones for Christmas. He thought having a phone on his person at all times was silly, but she'd convinced his that it would be handy to reach him, especially while she was pregnant.

Now he made the necessary calls to his parents, Geoffrey, and Phyllis. They would take care of their small list of people. His next call was a little harder. "Isabelle? It's Henry. I'm going to need you to watch Stevie a while longer." He relayed the important details and let her know that his parents would be on their way shortly to relieve her.

Isabelle took in everything with not too much to say. Henry was ready to hang up and Isabelle asked him to put the phone to Elizabeth's ear. He did and overheard her say, "Bess, you better get your shit together right now. It's bad enough that you're taking off eight weeks to hang out with your offspring, but I'll be damned if you go and leave me and I have to break in someone new. Got it? So I'll see you in a few. Bye." Henry hung up. He had to laugh. Isabelle was certainly rough around the edges, but her affection for Elizabeth was strong, and he knew the feeling was mutual.

He sat with Elizabeth for a while and then headed back down to see Allison. And so it was for the next several hours. Henry traveled back and forth, eventually sitting opposite Geoffrey, who was the first family member to arrive. It was mid morning the next day and Henry was exhausted, having been up for nearly 30 hours. He finally fell asleep, clutching Elizabeth's hand, his head resting against her hip. He was pulled from sleep by fingers running through his hair. "Hen-ry," she rasped, her voice dry from lack of use.

"Babe? You're awake." He popped his head up and pressed her hand to his face before kissing it. "How are you feeling?"

Her eyes shifted around the room. "What happened? Where's our baby? Henry?" Elizabeth was getting agitated and Henry panicked, watching the monitor numbers climb.

"Hold on. It's okay. She's fine. Geoffrey is with her, or maybe my parents. I don't remember, but someone is with her."

"Why isn't she here, with us? She? Tell me Henry," Elizabeth commanded.

"Calm down." Elizabeth shot Henry a look. "Really, please. Give me a chance to explain. You are in ICU and Allison is in the NICU."

"Allison? We have a little girl? Why is she in the NICU? And why am I in ICU?" Henry just stared at her. "You're trying to tell me, right."

"You're in ICU because during labor you developed a severe case of preeclampsia. Allison was in distress and they rushed you to the OR for an emergency C-section. They pushed meds, but they weren't fast enough and you had a seizure. You've been sedated to give your blood pressure a chance to come down and to see if the seizure affected you."

Henry took a deep breath, checking to make sure Elizabeth was still following. She looked earnestly at him. "Now for Allison. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her chest. She is much smaller than the doctor thought and they are concerned about her breathing. She's in the NICU and is being monitored. She's done really well so far. She's stable."

Elizabeth's eyes glistened. "She'll be okay though, right?"

"It looks better today than it did last night, so the prayer is that tonight is better than today."

A sob escaped despite Elizabeth's desire for it not to. "I need to see her." She shifted quickly to get off the bed and then fell back moaning.

"Hey there. You need to wait a minute. You just had major surgery. Let me get the nurse and see what they will let you do.". Henry reached over and tapped the call button.

The nurse came and it took an unexpected visit from Dr. Arens, but Elizabeth was stepped down from ICU to a regular postpartum room, and allowed to go to the NICU to see Allison. Henry wheeled her in and was met by Geoffrey, who Immediately stepped away from Allison and leaned in to give Elizabeth a hug. "You shouldn't scare an old man like that."

"I didn't mean to. Promise. How is she?" Elizabeth struggled to see past Geoffrey. He stepped out of the way and Henry wheeled her forward. She pressed her hand against the side of the isolette and looked in, wincing as she stretched to make herself taller to get a better look. "Henry. She's so tiny. How much does she weigh?"

"Four, ten," Henry replied. "Her respiration rate is more stable now.

"Hello McCord family." A nurse from the other room stepped in. "I'm Natalie. I'm Allison's nurse today. Dr. Daniels just reviewed Allison's vitals and he said it's okay to take her out as long as we watch her closely. So, do you want to hold her?" Elizabeth's face said everything Natalie needed to know, so she continued, without missing a beat. "It's going to take a bit to get everything organized, so give me just a few minutes, alright?" Henry took the initiative to get a recliner ready and helped Elizabeth move there so she would be more comfortable.

Henry could tell that Elizabeth was worn out, but he knew better than to say anything until after she held Allison. Natalie unhooked Allison from all of the monitors, picked her up and waited for Elizabeth to adjust her gown. The placed Allison tummy down on Elizabeth's chest. She reattached the oxygen tube and pulse/O2 monitor. "Hi there sweet girl," she said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She carefully traced an outline around the area where the IV was inserted. "Well, I suppose that's using your noodle."

Henry had scooted a chair close to where his girls sat and leaned into Elizabeth's shoulder. "That sounds like a nickname." Elizabeth wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Noodle," he said. "I think we should call her Noodle. You didn't particularly like Ali as a nickname."

"Hmm, maybe," she hummed, cuddling her newborn daughter against her.

April 11, 1999

Elizabeth sat quietly rocking a sleeping Allison in the cry room at church. Allison was tiny as it was, but she looked even smaller as she was swallowed up by the Baptismal gown that Stevie had worn. Because of Allison's size and susceptibility to breathing problems, they had decided to do the ceremony after Mass, away from unnecessary germs. Add to that, they were only doing the supplementals since Allison had already been Baptized with water at the hospital, and Elizabeth was just generally disgruntled. It felt like Allison was getting short changed. She wasn't getting the beautiful experience that Stevie had.

Nothing seemed to be as it should be. Where Elizabeth felt like she'd been overly weepy after Stevie's birth, she felt annoyed and angry after Allison's. Allison had to stay in the NICU for a week. Elizabeth was discharged after only four days. She was sore from the C-section. She couldn't pick Stevie up or do any of the things she felt like she needed to do.

She spent all of her time with Allison, mostly trying to breastfeed. Breastfeeding was a whole other sore subject for Elizabeth. Because of all that happened during Allison's birth, they hadn't been together the first day. Allison was given bottles, and it had been a struggle to nurse since. Just when she was about to give up, MaryHelen encouraged her to keep at it. Since Allison came home from the hospital, MaryHelen had stayed with them, mostly occupying Stevie, so Elizabeth and Allison could bond. Elizabeth finally felt like she was making a little progress, but it wasn't enough. She was supposed to go back to work in a month. It wouldn't be enough time to be functioning at the same level she was with Stevie.

Sitting in the cry room, Mass was going on in the background while Elizabeth was mulling over all her troubles. Elizabeth was snapped out of her pity party by the priest's voice filtering through the speaker. He said, "average people are called to be saints by taking their everyday challenges and striving to be holy while working through them." Elizabeth thought about that. Could she be on the path toward sainthood by embracing these trials? Well the fact that she still wasn't Catholic might hinder that, but that was a nuance, she decided. She was supposed to have joined the church at Easter Vigil, but then Allison showed up and all previous plans were abandoned. Henry had even offered to see if she could be Baptized at the same time as the ceremony with Allison, but it didn't seem right. It was Allison's day and even Stevie's as they were going to celebrate her 4th birthday after Mass. She didn't need to be in the mix. Elizabeth wondered if this was a sign, a sign that said she wasn't meant to do this.


	78. Chapter 78

AN: I see the end of the tunnel. There are only a handful of things left to cover before I consider this finished. They are kind of big things though, so I'm thinking no more than 7 chapters (which makes this story over the top by only about 50 chapters, LOL). Uncle Henry is still happening, I've just had some other things come up. Just letting you know I haven't forgotten it.

Chapter 78

September 2000

Elizabeth gripped the edge of the sink with one hand, the other hand holding the pregnancy test. She closed her eyes against the wave of nausea that hit her suddenly. Briefly, she pondered if it was caused by fear or morning sickness. She heard him come into their bedroom, probably searching for his shoes. "Henry?"

She opened the bathroom door and leaned on the frame, hoping it would give her some stability. Henry sat of the edge of the bed pulling his socks on. "Yeah?" he said, then he glanced up. Seeing her face, he was by her side in an instant. "What's going on babe? Are you sick? You should be ready to go by now." Elizabeth said nothing, but reached across her body and pressed the pregnancy test into his hand.

Wrapping his fingers around the object, he looked confused, until he looked down at his hand as he opened it and recognition crossed his face. "Oh." The word floated out on his exhale. "How?" he whispered.

"I-I forgot to take my stuff when I went to Israel last month. We had to try so hard for the girls. I just skipped those few days. I didn't think-what are we going to do?" He wrapped her into his arms and held her. The fear that gripped her wouldn't allow tears to fall.

She was stiff against him. He was struggling to keep it together, all of the terror he'd felt sitting outside the OR when Noodle was born washed over him. It took a few minutes to regain his composure. "It will be okay. Whatever happens, we will be okay." He pressed a kiss to the top of the her head. She nodded, not knowing what else to do and let go of him so she could get ready for work.

Henry had the girls fed and packed up by the time Elizabeth made it downstairs. Henry was waiting for her to say goodbye. "We'll talk tonight." He ran his thumb along her jaw and kissed her tenderly. "I love you. It will work out."

"Love you too," she murmured, holding him in the kiss for an extra few seconds.

"I left a few things on the counter. Take them with you," he said sliding out of the door.

She walked back into the kitchen and tossed the breakfast dishes into the sink. She looked at the girls sitting at the bar, Stevie was doing something to make Noodle giggle and her breath was taken away. Her hand fell to where Baby Number 3 was growing and for the first time in a long time, she offered up a prayer. "Help me to see this as a blessing." She happened to look over at the end of the counter and found that Henry had left her a sleeve of saltines and a few peppermints along with her travel mug. She smiled at his thoughtfulness and dropped the items in her own bag before picking her one year old up off the barstool and ushering the five year old out the door.

It was late when she walked back into her home. Stepping inside, she let her things fall at the foot of the coat tree in the hall. Kicking her heels off, she moved into the living room. Henry met her, coming from the kitchen in a rush. "Hey babe. How was your day?" Her look told him everything he needed to know. "Have a seat and I'll bring dinner to you."

"Are the girls asleep yet? I want to say goodnight." She moved toward the stairs.

"They've only been down 20 minutes or so. Go on up. I'll have a plate waiting when you're done."

Elizabeth made her way up the stairs and peeked in on Allison, who was already softly snoring. She turned to the room across the hall and cracked the door. "Mama," Stevie said. Her voice was laced with drowsiness.

"Yes, baby girl." She sat down on the edge of Stevie's bed and rested her hand on top of the Stevie's head. "How's my girl?"

"I missed you," Stevie said, barely able to hold her eyes open. "Will you cuddle with

me."

Elizabeth was suddenly misty eyed at the thought of her daughter missing her. She slipped into the bed next to Stevie and wrapped her arms the little girl. "I love you Stephanie Ann McCord."

"Love you too," Stevie managed to mumble before she drifted off. Elizabeth held her a few extra minutes before going in to see Allison.

Allison's dark brown hair curled in wisps around her face. Elizabeth smiled looking at Allison's blanket. When she was tiny and in the NICU, the nurses found that Allison was calmest when her blanket was tucked in around her head. They said that sometimes the babies feel more secure when there is gentle pressure against the top of their heads. Elizabeth didn't know if that was the reason or not, but Allison could always be calmed by having her blanket over the top of her head. Now that she was 18 months old, she had started to do it to herself. She would often toddle around the house with her blanket thrown over her head. Elizabeth reached down and adjusted it so that it didn't cover any part of her face. She kissed her fingertips and pressed them to Allison's forehead. "I love you Noodle," she whispered.

Henry was sitting on the couch, her dinner waiting on the coffee table. "I thought I might have fallen asleep. I was about to come and get you," he said as she sat down. She picked up her plate and he swept her feet off the floor and rested them in his lap, and started rubbing them.

"I just missed the girls and wanted to spend a few minutes with them." She ate her dinner and the two sat silently together. She held her empty plate in her lap. Elizabeth looked up to find Henry watching her, waiting for her to say what was on her mind. "You know we've joked about having a third child, but I was never serious. After everything that we went through with Noodle, the thought of maybe having to do that again or deal with something that might be worse. What if Henry?"

Henry sighed. He looked at her and they could see the anguish in each other's eyes. He scooted closer and reached around her back, hauling her onto his lap. "I've always wanted at least three, but after Noodle, I was perfectly satisfied with two. I didn't want to push our luck. It seems that regardless of what we thought would happen, God has bigger plans. We will have to trust in Him that everything will work out how it's supposed to."

Elizabeth leaned into Henry, wrapping her arms around him. "But I don't trust Him and I don't have faith, at least not like you do, and I don't think I ever will." Her voice was soft and unsure.

"Then I will, for both of us." He held her tight. "I love you." Henry kissed her neck and pulled her shirttail from her pants. Pushing her down on the couch, he unbuttoned her pants.

"Henry, no. Not tonight," she mumbled.

"I'm not doing _that_."

"Oh," Elizabeth said softly, a bit ashamed that she'd forgotten. With all of their children, immediately upon finding out, Henry had kissed her belly and welcomed the growing life inside. The simple fact that he hadn't that morning when he first found out likely meant he was reeling from the news as much as she was. She threaded her fingers through his hair as he placed kisses on her stomach and whispered words of love and prayer to their newest child. Tears formed in the corner of Elizabeth's eyes as the same thought swirled around in her head. "I want to have a healthy child and I want to be around to see that child grow up."

Henry stood and pulled her up from the couch. "Let's go to bed babe. It's late." He put her dishes in the kitchen as she started up the stairs. They got ready for bed in silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Elizabeth climbed into bed after Henry and rolled over to face him.

Cupping his cheek, she rested her head against his. "I have so many conflicting thoughts. I don't really want another baby, but this is our baby and I already love it. I'm terrified I'll miscarry, and then again, I don't know if it's safe to deliver another child. I don't want to die and leave you to raise the girls." She paused and then as if the thought suddenly hit her, she said, "You know I'd want you to marry again, right?"

"Babe, stop. Stop doing this to yourself. You feel how you feel. Don't try to deny it. I'm scared for you and the baby. We'll do what the doctor says and we'll try to be at peace, as much as we can. What's going to happen will happen and we will get through it. I will love you through it, no matter what comes." Henry tilted his head and kissed her. "Get some rest. You know tomorrow will be a long day."

"They will all be long days, for like the next two years." She gave him a small smile and rolled over, allowing him to scoot in behind her. She held his hand, bringing it to her lips, she kissed it. "Everything will be fine," she whispered, and they both knew her words were for her benefit more than his.

April 2001

"Do you have everything you think you'll need?" Henry asked as he stepped out of the bathroom.

"I suppose so. It feels like we moved our entire house into this room," she grumped. Elizabeth was now almost 35 weeks pregnant and had been put on bed rest the day before due to her elevated blood pressure. She sighed. "I have snacks, water, a pile of work. I don't know what else I could possibly need."

Henry stepped over to the TV. "The remote," he said, tossing it to her. She caught it and placed it on the nightstand.

"Can the girls come up and say goodbye? I feel like I'm in jail being up here all by myself," Elizabeth whined.

"Absolutely, and we'll have a picnic dinner on the bed tonight, okay? I'll bring home pizza."

"Whoa, no pizza. My heartburn is awful. Maybe sub sandwiches?" she asked. Henry nodded and disappeared. Within a minute she heard Stevie's footsteps trotting up the stairs and she leaped on the bed. Henry followed carrying Allison and he deposited her on the bed as well. The girls clambered up beside Elizabeth and Stevie placed her hand on Elizabeth's baby bump.

"Daddy says you have to stay in bed so that you and baby Jason will be healthy and we aren't supposed to goof around or make you mad." Elizabeth grinned and looked over at Henry who shrugged.

"Something like that. Have a good day at school Stevie, and when you get home, you can tell me all about everything that happened." Stevie nodded enthusiastically and happily received a hug and kiss. "I love you." She turned her attention to her younger daughter, "Come here Noodle." Elizabeth pulled Allison a little closer as she rolled her eyes at Henry's disapproving look. "Good grief Henry, it was less than a foot. How's my baby?"

"Baby," repeated Allison, patting Elizabeth's stomach.

"I meant you silly. You're my baby too." She gave Allison a hug and kissed her before blowing a puff of air out against her neck causing her to squeal with laughter. Henry pulled Allison out of her arms, sitting her on the floor. Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest. "I can't even love my babies now?" she asked, a mixture of anger and sadness in her words.

"We've got to go babe. I'll be home at lunch to check on you and fix you something to eat. Please follow doctor's orders. For me?" She huffed out an exasperated breath, but pulled him down for a kiss. "Thank you. Love you," he said walking out the door.

"Love you too," she called after him and then sunk down in the pillows to wallow in self pity for a bit.

May 2001

Elizabeth rolled herself out of bed to pee for what felt like the 400th time that morning. She groaned. "Bed rest is going to kill me long before preeclampsia." Her whole body ached from lack of movement as she shuffled around the end of the bed to the bathroom. She had been on bed rest nearly a month, making her 38 weeks pregnant. Luckily she'd been able to work from home and that had helped some, plus it kept her from using all of her leave before she even had the baby. She was still in the bathroom when the phone started ringing. Looking out into the bedroom, she sighed. She could see the phone, but decided it wasn't worth her effort to attempt to rush to grab it only to have it stop ringing the moment she picked it up. She made her way out and was getting back in bed when the phone rang a second time. "Hello," she answered, slightly out of breath.

"Thank God you answered. Are you alright?" It was Henry He seemed out of breath also.

"I'm fine. I was just in the bathroom. What's wrong?"

'I was just calling to check in and you didn't answer and I got worried." She heard some odd background noise.

"Henry, where are you?" she asked, amusement in her voice.

"I'm in the car." His voice softened. "I'm on my way home."

"I love you so much." He could hear her smile over the phone.

"I missed you," He smirked. It was true that he missed his wife, but that wasn't the reason he went tearing out of his building and had been speeding down the road until just a moment ago.

"You were worried about me," Elizabeth grinned, feeling a flutter in her stomach. There was a lilt in her voice that excited him.

"Maybe. Should I go back to work?" he asked, wondering if she was thinking what he was thinking.

"No. Come home. The sooner the better," she said, already stacking up her work papers and clearing them off the bed. "I'll be waiting."

"Be there soon," he said hanging up. He accelerated the car once again, this time for a completely different reason.

It was only ten minutes or so by the time that Henry pulled into the driveway. He wasted no time getting into the house and upstairs to their bedroom. Elizabeth was sitting in the middle of the bed with the sheet pulled up under her arms. Her blond waves fell over her bare shoulders and she was glowing, her blue eyes piercing his. "Did you start without me?' he asked.

"Not exactly. I just took care of the awkward part." She shifted uncomfortably and dropped her gaze. "I just derobed the beached whale."

Henry cringed. Elizabeth was a pretty self confident person, comfortable in her own skin. It pained him that she thought of herself in a negative way. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. He kicked his shoes off before crawling across the bed to sit next to her. "I wish you could see how physically beautiful you are right now."

"Henry, stop. You don't need to say that. I see myself everyday."

"But I do, because you don't see yourself the way I see you." He leaned in and kissed her, softly at first and then deeper, sucking her lip before running his tongue along the edge of her teeth and then into her mouth. He pulled away and shifted so his legs straddled hers. He braced one hand on their headboard, the other tangled in her hair.

He bent down to whisper in her ear, "Your hair is full and thick. When I'm near you, I want to grab hold of it and do this." He tightened his grip on the hair between his fingers and tipped her head back, planting kisses down her neck. "And your skin is flawless and you're glowing." His kisses moved along her collarbones. He pushed off the headboard, and sat back on his heels staring at her.

Elizabeth listened to Henry's words as he spoke, and her heart swelled. He sat back and their eyes met. She saw love, but she also saw desire. The lust was real and it emboldened her. She let the sheet fall, exposing her breasts and stomach. "What about these?" she asked, her own eyes dark with lust.

"I love your breasts when you are pregnant." He leaned over her, cupping her breast, running his thumb over her nipple and she sucked in a gasp. "Your nipples are super sensitive and I love that I can give you an orgasm just by touching them." He watched her as she looked back at him. "Do you even know the effect you have on me? Do you?" His voice was strained and ragged and she was so aroused, she thought she might come with even being touched.

"Show me," she murmured. He roughly grabbed her hand and pressed it to his groin, and she could feel his hardness straining against his jeans. They both groaned. "Please," she begged.

"And your stomach that swells to accommodate our baby." He brushed his fingers lightly over her skin before shifting off of her. "Roll over," he said, rolling her to the middle of the bed pulling her up on her hands and knees. He ran his hand down her bare back before settling on her ass. "And this," his hand squeezed her cheek. "So full. You are a goddess!"

He took her by the hips and pulled her against him, her bare sex rubbing against the bulge in his jeans. She quivered against him. "God, I can't."

Henry let her go long enough to push his jeans down to his knees. She felt him close and she held her breath waiting for him to enter her. When he didn't, she looked over her shoulder at him. "Is this safe?" he asked.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. "My blood pressure will be higher if you leave me hanging than if you just fuck me. I promise."

A grin spread across Henry's face. "In that case." He buried himself in her in one push. He cried out and she shrieked, dropping her face into the pillow. "You feel so good." He gripped her hips and pulled back out and into her again. He slammed into her over and over.

As he hit her spot repeatedly, Elizabeth felt herself slipping. "Henry!" she squealed, as she fell over the edge. He held her against him until she came down, then he pulled out and helped her down on her side.

He curled up behind her. "You doing okay?" he asked.

"Umm hmm, just fine," she purred and then she was asleep.

May 10, 2001

The next morning, Elizabeth was ripped from a sound sleep by a contraction. Instinctively, she curled into a ball and reached behind her. "Henry, help."

"Huh?" Henry spent a few moments gathering his wits. "Wait? What's wrong?" He sat up and was leaning over her.

"I just had a really strong contraction out of nowhere." She blew out several shallow breaths.

"I'm calling the neighbor to see if she will come over. Waiting for Isabelle will take too long." Elizabeth nodded. Under different circumstances, she might have argued, but she just wanted to get to the hospital.

Within a few minutes, they were on the road. It wasn't a terribly long drive, but it seemed to take forever. The pain wasn't as intense which helped, and Elizabeth did her best to keep her breathing regular.

"Alright Mrs. McCord, the anesthesiologist is on his way up to give you a spinal block and the OB is on his way. Looks like we are going to have a baby this morning," The nurse zipped out of the room.

Elizabeth watched Henry watch her vitals and their baby's vitals. "How are we doing?"

"You're running high, but not scary high and Jason seems fine." She hummed her approval and Henry dropped his head and rested it against her side, his hand on her stomach. "Keep them safe God," he whispered.

"That wasn't very eloquent," Elizabeth replied. "I expect more from you." She ruffled his hair.

"I'm terrified. It's the best I can do right now." He linked his fingers with hers.

"We'll be okay," she said. "I'm sure of it."

"I'm supposed to be the faithful one," Henry said smiling.

"We can trade off every once in a while. Come here." She tugged him to his feet so he could lean over and kiss her. A contraction started and was super strong and lasted for quite a while. Elizabeth tried to breathe through it, but because it lasted so long, it was proving difficult.

Henry watched her blood pressure climb. The anesthesiologist walked in and waited until the contraction ended. "What do you say we get this show on the road?" Elizabeth nodded. She was asked to roll over and curl into a ball as much as she could. He placed a shot in the middle of her back. By the time she rolled back over, she was already feeling the effects. Within a few minutes, the nurses were back in the room and Henry was given scrubs to change into.

It was a much calmer walk to the OR than the last time, and Henry stayed by Elizabeth's side the whole time. He was seated next to her head and was able to hold her hand. The whole scene was so much different than with Allison, Henry started to relax a little. A sheet was hung to block their view of the actual surgery and Elizabeth's arms were strapped down to keep her upper body from moving too much.

"Okay Elizabeth, are you ready to get this over with?" the doctor asked.

"Please."

"You're going to feel a lot of pressure and a pulling sensation. We'll be using the same incision spot as before."

"Whoa! That is pressure," she muttered. She squeezed Henry's hand.

"Does it hurt?" Henry asked, his head pressed to the side of hers.

"Not like contractions, but it feels weird. Just a lot of pushing and pulling."

"Ok, we have a baby," the doctor said. They could hear the sucking sounds of the aspirator and then a loud cry. "Say hello to your son," the doctor said, holding Jason up high enough over the sheet so they could see him. He handed Jason to a nurse and she took him across the room to clean him up.

"8 pounds, 3 ounces," she called, "and-" there was a pause. "21 inches long." It was just a moment the nurse brought a swaddled Jason over to meet Elizabeth. "Okay, honey," the older nurse said. "We're going to take baby boy here down to the nursery and get him all cleaned up for you. The doctor is going to close the incision and we'll meet you in your room in an hour or so. Dad," she said addressing Henry for the first time. " You have the option of staying or going."

Henry looked down at Elizabeth. "Go with Jason. Remember, no bottles,no pacifiers." Henry nodded and took Jason from the nurse and held him next to Elizabeth. She kissed his cheek. "Mama will be with you soon baby."

She overheard the nurse comment to Henry, "Bad experience last time?" She couldn't tell what answer Henry gave, but the woman replied, "Good for her."

It was more than an hour and Elizabeth was starting to get antsy. She was just about to hit the nurse call button when Henry walked in carrying Jason. He was followed by a nurse with the baby bed. "He gets to stay with us?" she asked.

Henry nodded, and smiled, knowing how happy that would make her. Rooming in wasn't a thing when Stevie was born and Noodle had been confined to the NICU, so this was a first. "Are you ready to hold your son?"

Elizabeth shifted in the bed so she was more comfortable and Henry unwrapped Jason. He placed the diaper clad baby of Elizabeth's bare chest and covered them both. Jason squirmed for a few seconds and then relaxed. She stroked his back and kissed the top of his head. She held his hand and let his tiny fingers curl around her thumb. Elizabeth finally let out the breath she'd been holding for nine months.

Tears came to her eyes and when she looked up at Henry, she saw her own emotions reflected back at her. "You were right," she said. "God does have a plan and this is the healing I didn't know I needed."

Henry nodded. "I'm so very thankful right now." He leaned over and kissed her. "I've got a few calls to make. Will you be alright for a few minutes?"

"I'm so very, very good right now. I will be just fine," Elizabeth whispered, her hand resting lightly on Jason's back.


	79. Chapter 79

Happy day before Thanksgiving, at least if you're in the US. I have a couple days off coming up, so I'm hoping to be able to whip a couple chapters out. We'll see how that goes with travel and family and whatnot.

Thanks so much for the reviews. I really appreciate it.

Chapter 79

August 2001

Elizabeth had chosen to stay home an extra month with Jason. She and Henry were fairly sure that Jason was their last child and since she had the leave and Henry had a more relaxed schedule in the summer, Elizabeth decided to use it. Jason was an easy baby. While breastfeeding had been a struggle for Allison, Jason took to it like a champ. At six weeks, he was already sleeping several hours at night and Elizabeth healed quickly. The girls were smitten with baby Jason and the McCords we're very happy.

Elizabeth had essentially been away from the office for five months, between bedrest and maternity leave. She had been working from home while on bedrest and even keeping up on things when she had downtime as Jason slept or nursed-not that she would let Henry know that. But, once back at work, things were tense, and Elizabeth had missed quite a bit. There were lots of pieces to a puzzle and no one was exactly sure how to put them together. George was back in the field, working primarily from Turkey, and Juliet and Isabelle were working with her and several others. Their conference room was covered in photos and post-its and scraps of paper with phone conversation translations taped to the wall. The traffic was increasing. There hadn't been an attack on Americans since the USS Cole 10 months ago. Something big was in the works, they just couldn't figure out what, when or where.

September 11, 2001

Henry was in the kitchen, getting things ready for the day, Elizabeth brought Jason down after feeding him and popped him in his bouncy seat then dashed back upstairs to get ready for work. The girls came down a few minutes later and Henry held his breath watching 2 year Allison hold onto the stiles and move slowly down the stairs. Standing up and going down the stairs was a new skill and she'd already fallen down once when she got distracted. It was a slow process and Henry almost burned the eggs watching her instead of them, but when she got to the bottom she looked up at Henry with a wide grin. "I do'd it good!"

"Yes, Noodle, you did it very well! Do you want eggs for breakfast?" Stevie was already at the bar and Henry helped Allison climb up and they ate while chatting about the day's events.

Elizabeth came flying down the steps and tossed the pump next to her bag.. "Guess what I forgot?" Henry looked up, eyebrows raised. "I have a meeting at the Pentagon this morning." She threw two more bottles of milk in the fridge and shifted her focus to Stevie. "Baby, are you ready to go?" Stevie slid off the barstool and meandered toward the steps to put on her shoes. Elizabeth poured her coffee and picked up her container of leftovers for lunch. She started toward the door and glanced at Stevie who was holding her shoe and staring off into space. Elizabeth pursed her lips and her eyes grew wide. She shot the look at Henry.

"I'm on it," he said, crossing the kitchen. In three strides, he snatched Stevie up and tossed her over his shoulder, grabbing her shoes in his other hand. "Stevie, we're taking this project to the car." Looking at Elizabeth, he said, "Babe, you're on backpack duty."

"Got it!" she said, as she slung the strap of her bag over her head, pump over her shoulder, and gathered her lunch and Stevie's backpack in one hand, coffee in the other. She swooped around and kissed Allison on the head, "Love you Noodle." She leaned over the table and got Jason on the cheek. "See you tonight baby boy! Love you!"

Making it to the car, she tossed her things in and climbed into the driver seat. "You're forgetting something," Henry said, grabbing hold of the car door so she couldn't close it.

"Right, the Pentagon can wait for an extra minute," she said. "Sorry," she mumbled as her lips touched his, kissing him softly. "I love you."

"Love you more," he said, grinning. "Have a good day."

"You too."

Elizabeth was feeling pretty good about her time, pulling into a parking space outside the Pentagon roughly five minutes ahead of time. By the time she hoofed it across the parking lot and made her way to the elevator and up to the third floor, she would still be late, but probably not rudely so. She made it about 20 yards from her car when he phone rang. She dug around in her purse, pulling it free, just as it stopped ringing. She waited for the voicemail to come up. It didn't, but immediately started ringing again She answered it.

"Where the hell are you?" Isabelle yelled.

"Whoa. Get off my case. I have that meeting at the Pentagon this morning, which I'm about to be late for thank you very much."

"Get the hell away from there Bess. Have you been listening to the news?" Isabelle was still yelling, but her tone somehow switched from angry to terrified.

"No, I was listening to music in the car. What are you talking about?" Elizabeth had already switched directions and was near the car.

"They hit the World Trade Center, both of the Twin Towers. And there's another one heading toward DC. Bess, get the hell away from any government building. We don't know what the target-" The phone went dead. Elizabeth dialed Isabelle back, but the call wouldn't go through.

She managed to get out of the Pentagon complex by showing her ID saying she was on her way to Langley, but was she? She turned out onto the highway and looked up to see an airplane, too low in the sky. Elizabeth watched in horror as it dropped and crashed into the Western facade of the building that moments ago she was getting ready to walk into. "Oh my God," she murmured. Her mind immediately went to her family. Based on Isabelle's words, she knew that it was assumed that Langley was a target also. She turned the car around and headed the one place she wanted to be most.

Elizabeth parked in the driveway and cut the engine. Hitting the garage door opener, she grabbed her things to head inside, but was stopped in her tracks. Henry's car wasn't in the garage. Her heart stopped. "Where would he have gone?" After going inside, and seeing that they had indeed left, Elizabeth dialed his number and paced around the driveway. The call went nowhere. She assumed that the cell towers were jammed being this close to DC. She tried to keep her cool, but with each minute that passed, she became more upset.

Almost twenty minutes went by when she heard the car in the driveway. She leapt to her feet, tears streaming down her face. Henry barely got the car in park when he got out and pulled her into his arms. "I was so worried. A plane hit the Pentagon and I thought you were there. I've never prayed like I've prayed the past couple hours."

"Where were you? I got home and you were gone and I couldn't call, and," Henry cut her off.

"I went and got Stevie from school. I just-I needed her home in case-" Henry's words stuck in his throat and he buried his head in Elizabeth's neck. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Mom, Dad, what's wrong?" Stevie asked, climbing out of the car. "Is someone hurt?" Henry and Elizabeth both looked at their daughter and then at each other.

"Baby, I'm afraid a lot of people got hurt, but our family is fine," Elizabeth said.

"And we are very thankful and blessed. A lot of families are going to be going through some really hard times." Henry pulled his 6 year old to his side, hugging her, as Elizabeth unbuckled Allison and set her on the ground before unhooking Jason's carseat from its base. "Let's go inside," he said, taking Jason from Elizabeth, so she could pick Allison up. They got Stevie and Allison set up at the kitchen table with some crafty things to do while they got lunch and watched the news coverage.

When footage of the smoking Pentagon filled the screen, Elizabeth fell back against the edge of the counter and covered her mouth. Henry leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I was right there. I was walking in and Isabelle called to tell me to get out. The plane hit as I was driving away. Oh God, Henry, those people." She buried her face in his shoulder and cried. Henry held her tight. He had no words to give her, but prayed unceasingly in thanksgiving for her safety, for her peace and for all those who lost loved ones.

Elizabeth continued to call into work and she finally got Conrad. "Where are you?" he asked.

"I left the Pentagon just before the plane hit and Isabelle told me to stay away until we knew what was and wasn't a target. So,I came home and I've been trying to call, but just now got through. What do you need me to do?"

She heard Conrad sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm not even sure. I'll be spending my time at the White House trying to figure out how this happened without us knowing about it."

"But, we did know about it sir. We knew it was going to happen. We were just looking in the wrong places." She sighed, taking her share of responsibility for this was devastating.

"What's that mean Bess?" Conrad asked, seeming defensive.

"We had all of these pieces. We knew after the USS Cole, that it was only a matter of time. We were trying to make it an International thing and it wasn't. The terrorists came from our own backyard. You just wait. I guarantee the FBI was watching the terrorists, but didn't have our knowledge of Al-Qaeda. We are so damn stuck in the "your turf, my turf" thing that we couldn't share information. Information that would've saved thousands of lives."

"You think it's Al-Qaeda?" Conrad asked.

"One hundred percent, sir."

"Come in early tomorrow morning. I think we're going to to have a long road ahead of us," he said, wearily.

"Yes sir."

Elizabeth spent the rest of that day with her kids. That evening, when they finally were all sleeping, she cuddled up against Henry on the couch, the news coverage providing the backdrop. "This is the second time I've narrowly escaped death. I can't decide if I'm happy about it or scared. I should've been inside that building today. I was probably 15 yards from the entrance. If I hadn't dug my phone out of my bag. If I'd waited to get it when I got inside, I'd likely be dead." Henry pulled away and looked at her.

"I know babe. It's scary. Wait? The second time?" he asked, pulling back so he could look at her face.

Elizabeth tensed. "Uh, yeah. I may have underplayed that car accident I was in while you were deployed the first time." Henry narrowed his eyes. "But in my defense, when I first told you about it, I didn't even really understand how bad it was. I just saw no reason to bring it up after the fact. I was fine, so there was no reason to worry you. It wasn't like you could've done anything but worry anyway, and that was the last thing I wanted you to do."

"You should've told me," he said.

"Maybe."

"That's why both Mom and Geoffrey were there." Elizabeth nodded, as she watched Henry run his fingers over the scar that was still visible on her left wrist. "I guess God's not done with you yet."

Elizabeth chuckled and pressed herself further into Henry's chest. "I think your mom said some version of that back then." They sat in silence watching the same horrific footage over and over. "I should've known Henry."

"Don't do that to yourself," he whispered, kissing her temple.

"No, Henry," she said, pushing off of Henry's chest, turning to face him. "I am the one who is supposed to know. I am the person who is supposed to put the puzzle together and stop it. Thousands of families are broken and devastated tonight because I didn't do my job well enough. Is that God's plan?" Henry pulled her back to him and held her tight. He said nothing because there was nothing he could say.

It was 2am when Elizabeth rolled out of bed the next morning. If she counted the stolen minutes she got while nursing Jason, she probably slept 2 hours. She grabbed a shower and packed a couple days worth of clothes. She wasn't sure what she'd be facing when she went to work, but she doubted it would be good.

She peeked in on each of the kids. Stevie and Allison now slept together in a full sized bed. Elizabeth dropped the safety rail on Allison's side and sat down. She brushed the soft dark brown curls away from her baby girl's face, and tucked them in around her blanket. She smiled-Noodle and her blanket. She kissed her forehead, replaced the rail and moved to sit down next to Stevie.

Stevie's long hair was scattered across her pillow. It still mostly blonde, bleached from their many days at the pool and park. Elizabeth was suddenly so thankful for the summer they had been able to spend together. Henry had been home two days a week and they spent a lot of time as a family. Stevie looked so grown up. It seemed like only yesterday that she would get up in the middle of the night with her. On cue, she heard Jason start to fuss. She placed a kiss on Stevie's cheek and went to Jason's room.

As soon as the door opened, Jason's whimpers lessened, expecting to be picked up. Elizabeth scooped up the infant and cradled him to her chest. She hummed softly as she carried him to the changing table. Once changed she moved to the rocking chair and settled in for at least the next half hour. Usually Jason would immediately close his eyes and relax against Elizabeth, but in this moment, he was wide awake while he nursed. Every couple minutes, Jason would let go and smile up at Elizabeth before latching back on. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She had so many thoughts going through her head, she wasn't sure where the tears were coming from. She was thankful to be alive. It could've been so very different. She traced her fingers along Jason's hairline and he smiled up at her again. Elizabeth was heartbroken for those families who lost loved ones. There were babies tonight that had no mother or father because she hadn't been able to connect the dots. It weighed on her heavily. She was lost in thought for a long while. When she came back to the present, Jason was asleep and had a sleepy smile, milk still pooled in the corners of his mouth. Elizabeth carefully shifted him to her shoulder, fixed her shirt and patted his back while carrying him back to his crib. She kissed the top of his head before laying him down.

Entering their bedroom, Elizabeth sat down next to Henry and ran her hand up his arm to rouse him. "Babe? You're leaving this early?" Henry's voice was laced with sleep, but he rubbed his eyes trying to wake up.

"I'm getting ready to go. Would you do me a favor?" she asked.

Henry nodded. "Sure babe. I'll do whatever you need me to."

"Take the kids and go stay with your parents." Henry gave her a confused look. "I don't think I'll be able to come home for while and I want you to have help with the kids. I want them to be able to play with their cousins and have fun, at least for a while, because being here, so close to everything, isn't going to be good."

"I don't want to leave you, and Jason is still so young. Babe?" Henry was sitting now and leaning into her. He kissed her cheek, then moved to her neck. She leaned into him.

"I won't be home anyway, and I just want the kids, and you, away from here. We don't know that this is the end of it. I just need to know that you are safe. Please, Henry, at least until the weekend." Henry surveyed his wife. His heart broke for her and he wanted nothing else than to comfort her.

"Okay. Mom will enjoy seeing the kids anyway." He kissed her and then pulled back to meet her gaze. "I love you so much. Please don't take this on. What happened was not your fault."

"Henry," she started, but he pulled her back and deepened the kiss. He felt her start to relax into him, but then tense again. She pulled away. "I've got to go. Tell the kids I love them and I'll call tomorrow afternoon to make sure you made it, okay?" She quickly stood and Henry grabbed for her hand and squeezed it. "I love you," she said, and then she left the room.

Elizabeth arrived at the office around 5am and found that she wasn't the first one there. A handful of people had stayed overnight, and others were like her and couldn't sleep. Pretty much everyone just milled around doing odds and ends. It was 7am when they received a message that Mr. Dalton wanted to see everyone. Conrad rallied his people and gave them renewed purpose. He met with his Middle East team after to discuss plans and joint work with the FBI, and Elizabeth saw the nod that Conrad gave her after her words the day before.

Elizabeth took breaks every four hours to pump, although she didn't really consider it a break when she drug a stack of FBI briefs with her to read. She called Henry during one of her late afternoon pumping sessions to see how the trip went. Upon hearing the whirring noise in the background, he teased her about being jealous of all the action her breast pump was getting. She smirked and assured him that he had no real competition. They continued their idle conversation, and although he said everything was well, she could tell something was off. After asking several pointed questions and getting no satisfactory answer, she just tossed it out there. "I can tell something is wrong. What is it?"

Henry sighed, "I'm not exactly sure, but I'm pretty sure Mom is sick."

"Sick, like a cold? I'm sure she would've told you not to come," Elizabeth said.

"No, babe. Sick like her cancer is back, or maybe not that, but something. I don't think she's lost weight, but she somehow looks more frail. There's something about her eyes. I don't know, she's made sure to keep Allison and Stevie very close to her and I think it's because she knows I won't ask if they are around to hear."

"Oh Henry, pray it's not what you think it is. Maybe she's just tired or something. I hope that's the case. Let me know what you find out." They talked for awhile and Henry heard her turn the pump off.

"I suppose that's our version of time's up," he laughed. "So, how much?"

"Three ounces," she said.

"Per side?" he asked.

"Total," she sighed. "Don't say it."

"I'm going to. You have to make sure you eat enough and drink more," Henry told her, although he tried not to lecture.

"It isn't as easy as that," Elizabeth pouted.

"Do you have a bottle of water with you?" When she didn't answer, he said, "Pick one up on the way back to your desk, and try to make sure you're eating. If needed, I'll call Isabelle and give her instructions to follow."

"Oh good grief, don't do that! The last thing I need is her measuring my output and force feeding me liquids." Henry laughed. "Then I will trust you to keep on top of it yourself. Call me tomorrow, okay."

"Definitely, I have quiet time blocked off every four hours," she smirked, "Although my pump friend and I have been getting along quite famously."

Henry laughed, "I miss you. If you change your mind, we can come home before Sunday, okay?"

"Okay," she murmured, "Love you, and give my love to my babies and your family, especially your mom."

"Will do, babe. Love you too. Bye." Elizabeth hung up the phone and prayed for Henry's mom to be okay.


	80. Chapter 80

AN: I apologize for the delay in getting this out. For whatever reason, I had to worst time getting this on paper. Also, I tried to proofread this at work and people kept interrupting me (like they expect service from the person at the front desk-whatever). I'm sure there are mistakes that I didn't catch. Sorry.

Chapter 80

May 2003

Elizabeth carefully slipped the garment over Stevie's head trying to avoid her expertly curled up do and buttoned the neck of Stevie's dress and before turning her around. Stepping back, she gasped, "You are so beautiful Stevie." Stevie looking in the mirror and laughed joyfully and twirled around, her white satin dress flying away from her legs. "Are you ready? It's a big day," Elizabeth asked.

"I'm so ready. I've been waiting for this since I was five," Stevie answered enthusiastically.

"Let's check on your sister and brother and see if they are ready to go." Elizabeth and Stevie went down the stairs to the kitchen. Henry had 4 year old Allison and almost 2 year old Jason sitting at the table in their underwear. "Hen-ry!' Elizabeth said, panic rising in her voice.

"Calm down. I've got it under control," he said. "I didn't want their clothes to get dirty." He quickly wiped both kids down. "Ready Noodle?" She nodded and put her arms straight up over her head, allowing Henry to slide her dress straight down her body, her pigtails bouncing back. He pulled his son from the high chair and sat him in the middle of the table. He slipped his shirt on and buttoned it before pulling the argyle vest over the top. "See?" Henry said, side eying his wife. "We'll tuck him in at church."

Elizabeth grinned and stepped closer to him. "I find you so incredibly hot when you do ninja dad moves," she whispered in his ear, sending hot breath down his neck.

"If you are a good girl today, I can try some of my more advanced moves on you tonight," he whispered back, winking at her. She grinned uncontrollably. "Let's get a move on kids," Henry said. "To church we go. Stevie has a First Communion to make."

The family arrived at the church, they were joined by the rest of the family, minus Will, who was overseas. Elizabeth scanned the group and was inexplicably happy. All of Henry's family were in attendance, along with Geoffrey, Frederick, Manny, Maria and Gianna. Stevie was beaming. Elizabeth's eyes fell on MaryHelen and her smile faded. The older woman was talking to Stevie and they were both smiling, but there was something off. Henry had felt it for a while, but the handful of times she'd been able to make the trip with Henry and the kids the past couple years, she didn't see it, but now it was undeniable, and she remembered seeing the same look from when she was pregnant with Allison more than four years ago.

The group made their way to the front and sat down. Stevie stayed in the back to process in with Fr. John. As the music started and everyone stood, Elizabeth snapped a couple pictures of Stevie. She eventually made her way back to the pew to sit with Henry and Elizabeth.

It was moments like these, when she had to attend Mass, that Elizabeth wondered why she didn't go more often. After 9/11, she had attended pretty regularly, as did many people. But as work became more intense, and Sunday was Elizabeth's only day off, the few moments of solitude when Henry took the kids to Mass became more important than going herself. She felt like she needed that downtime to be more present with the kids the rest of the week. Henry slipped his hand around hers and she felt the guilt creep in. She should make more of an effort, if for no other reason than 2 year old Jason was quite the handful and she was sure that it was a challenge for Henry to wrangle all three kids each week.

When it was time, she, Stevie and Henry exited the pew and came forward. Stevie received the Body and Blood of Christ followed by Henry. The priest gave Elizabeth a blessing and sent them back to their pew and the rest of the congregation came forward. Elizabeth watched Stevie closely. Even though she knelt beside her father, Elizabeth could tell that she was excited, gently swaying from side to side, unable to stay still.

Elizabeth felt an inexplicable warmth watching Stevie. It was a happy feeling, but there was a tinge of longing. Elizabeth smirked at her own reaction. By this point, she was aware that she had no intentions of actually doing anything about it. She no longer held any animosity toward God regarding her parents' deaths, but there was no deep relationship and there wasn't ever going to be. She defined her relationship with God solely as it related to her husband and her kids. Elizabeth most certainly expected God to watch over them because they believed, but herself, not as much.

Afterwards, there were pictures and a big family lunch at the house, catered of course. Patrick grumped about the expense of the meal, Henry was annoyed at his father, Maureen was snippy and MaryHelen told them all to get over it. For the most part they did and it always amused Elizabeth how her mother-in-law had that effect on the whole family.

After changing into more comfortable clothes, Stevie and all of the other kids headed to the backyard to play. MaryHelen volunteered to watch them and disappeared outside. Elizabeth saw her opportunity and stepped out with her. They stood side by side, leaning against the deck railing, silently watching the kids. "I'm waiting," MaryHelen said, causing Elizabeth to turn and look at her. "Don't tell me you're out here just because. You have something you need to say, so say it."

Elizabeth sighed, "When are you going to tell everyone?"

MaryHelen faced Elizabeth. "Tell everyone what?" she asked.

"Tell everyone that you're sick."

"I'm sick?" MaryHelen asked, although Elizabeth could tell there wasn't much emotion behind the statement.

"Something's going on and has been for a long time, since before Allison was born and it's getting worse. The others don't notice it because they see you all of the time. Henry saw it right away." Elizabeth squeezed the deck railing tighter awaiting the response. "I can see it."

"I don't _know_ that I'm sick," MaryHelen said calmly, although Elizabeth could sense the tension and the emphasis on her choice of words was not lost.

"So something could be wrong, but you won't go find out? That's nice." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Elizabeth, there are some things that we can't escape. Death is one of those things. I'm going to die at some point. We all will."

"That doesn't mean you don't try to fight it. Your grandkids are young. They deserve to have a grandmother around for them." She felt the tears forming in her eyes. "My kids deserve to have a grandmother, and you're their only option. I'm only asking you to go to the doctor and see what's wrong. It could be something easily remedied. If it isn't-well-I'll bother you about that later."

Elizabeth's eyes held a pained look and MaryHelen wavered slightly. Not only was she denying her grandchildren a chance to be with her longer, but she could tell that this plea was as much about her relationship with Elizabeth as it was about the kids.

"From my standpoint, not knowing is easier than knowing and choosing to do nothing about it," MaryHelen said, stepping away to join the kids, leaving Elizabeth to ponder her words.

July 2003

Henry had been surprised when he received the text from Elizabeth saying that she would get Stevie from school and meet him at home. These days it was a rarity for her to be home before the kids went to bed. He hit the door and tossed his bag on the chair. He had papers that needed to be graded, but he was hoping not to touch them since there was a real opportunity to spend time with Elizabeth and the kids.

Elizabeth breezed through the living room and headed up the stairs to get Jason from nap. Only a couple minutes later, she carried him down and saw Henry waiting for her. "To what do we owe this pleasure?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her cheek when she stepped off the last step.

"We'll talk later. I want tonight to be a good night." She slipped her free arm around his back and gave him a searing kiss.

Jason was unimpressed, pushing his hand between their faces, breaking them apart. "I get all mommy's kisses," he said, pressing his lips to Elizabeth's.

She chuckled. "What about Daddy?"

Jason frowned and pushed Henry back. "My mommy!"

Henry grinned, unphased by his son. "She's all yours Jase!" Leaning in, he whispered, "Until bedtime, and then you're mine." Elizabeth nodded and grinned back at him.

Henry dried his hands on the towel and leaned against the door frame watching Elizabeth with the kids. She was reading a story and even Stevie, who could now read chapter books and proclaimed herself too old for picture books was sitting on the arm of the chair, leaning into Elizabeth. Allison sat on the other arm with her own arms wrapped around Elizabeth's, her chin resting on Elizabeth's shoulder. Jason was curled in her lap. They were completely enthralled with what she was reading. Henry stepped back into the kitchen and grabbed the camera off the desk. He quickly returned to the doorway and snapped a couple pictures. Elizabeth looked up at the sound and smiled. When she finished, they worked together to get the kids in bed.

She made the final round to make sure everyone was asleep before entering their bedroom. Henry sat on the end of the bed waiting for her. Pushing the door shut behind her, she crossed the room.

Henry stood. "Thank you for giving me tonight," she murmured. "I needed it."

"Are we going to talk about what we need to talk about?"

She shook her head. "After," she said, making the move to pull his shirt from his dress pants. He stilled her hands as they moved to the buttons.

"Are you avoiding it?" he asked.

"I'm gearing up for it," she said, pulling her hands away and unbuttoning his shirt.

Afterward, she lay draped over him catching her breath and as she calmed she whispered, "I was given a field assignment today."

Henry immediately pushed up and dumped her back on the bed. "What?"

"I've been working on a certain something and have a lead. I am the person with the best chance of getting the information we need. I'm being sent to interrogate him when he's detained," she said matter of factly.

"Where?" Henry asked, already knowing the answer. She just nodded. "Babe, no." He let his head rest against Elizabeth's. "When and how long?"

"I leave Monday afternoon on the next transport plane, and I'll be there until it's done. I hope no more than six months." She felt Henry shudder against her. "I'll be okay. I promise. You'll be okay. We've done this before." He pulled her closer.

"Not with kids, and it was me, not you. You're an analyst. You aren't supposed to go into the field."

"It's a new world. Terrorists don't care about my job title. I'm the one who knows everything about this person and his associates. I need to go Henry. I need to do my part to stop this."

"I know you think you need to. It's just scary. Promise me that you'll use good sense. Never go anywhere alone, Never take unnecessary risks. Right? I need to know that you are coming home to me. To the kids." She felt Henry's tears wet her cheek.

"Please don't do that. I'm trying to hold it all together. If I start, I don't think I'll be able to stop. I don't want the kids to see me upset." Elizabeth wiped his tears away with her thumbs.

Elizabeth stepped off the plane and her squinted her eyes, both to keep away the sun and the sand. She set her jaw, slung her pack over her shoulder and crossed the tarmac. She was here to do a job and that's what she was going to do.

Three months in, and Elizabeth was raw, in every sense of the word. Her mind never stopped. Always thinking of new avenues to explore, new questions to ask, new tactics to use. She was reasonably successful, but it never felt like enough. It was always as if she were just scraping the surface of the problem. She couldn't get to the root and that was always needling at her, wearing her down.

The sand was inescapable, and the heat was worse Elizabeth's eyes always burned, her skin always gritty. She was never comfortable. She could never relax. Elizabeth was a tightly wound coil, ready to snap.

Her greatest joy and almost unbearable low came every Monday morning at 1 am. She called her family. It was 5pm Sunday afternoon in DC and they would always make sure they were home to be there for her calls. She'd talk to each one of the kids and they would tell her something about their week, even Jason, who was talking non-stop and she could make out the gist of the stories most of the time. Listening to him pained her. She was missing so much. They would all say their "I love yous" and Henry would send them off to play so they could have a few minutes of alone time. He'd ask her how things were going and she would lie and tell him what he wanted to hear. He knew she was lying and she knew he knew, but Henry couldn't bear to call her on it and verbalizing the truth wouldn't solve anything anyway. They would whisper words of love and he'd tell her to be safe and come home soon. She always promised she would and then she'd retreat to the showers to cry a week's worth of tears and put her facade back together so she could survive another week.

It was Thanksgiving week when Elizabeth finally got the break she'd been looking for. Safeer Al-Jamil was high up in the Al-Qaeda hierarchy and had a squad of suicide bombers and children at the ready to set IEDs with the purpose of killing Americans and often any Iraqi civilian that was unfortunate enough to get in the way. A roadside bomb had just killed two Americans, a dozen Muslim women and children, and injured several others at a local market in the past few days and her intel informed her of other attacks that were already in the works. She located him at a relative's house in Baghdad, and they quickly gathered a group of Marines to round him up. By the time they let her in, all of the family members were lined up, sitting on the floor. Elizabeth looked the group over and picked out her man immediately. The soldiers hauled him off and when she turned back, she saw the group of young children staring wide-eyed at her, full of terror. In that moment, she offered up her first prayer since stepping onto Iraqi soil. "Please let them see the evil that their uncle unleashes and as they grow, open their eyes to who he is and what he has done."

Elizabeth interrogated Safeer for five days, almost continuously. In a moment of exhaustion and frustration, she turned him over to the Marine interrogators, knowing the physical techniques they would use. She walked out of the room and up the steps. She heard his screams, but never saw him again.

The report she received gave her little to nothing to go on, but she got a handful of tidbits from Safeer before she turned him over and those actually proved useful. In the next couple of weeks, using her skills and resources, they were able to pick up a handful of mid level operatives. Those detainees were not as loyal to the cause as Safeer had been and they picked up a lot of information. Elizabeth's job was over. She had come what she set out to do and now it was time to go home, As she climbed on the plane four days before Christmas, she was left with a sense of loss, but what exactly she lost, she wasn't sure.


	81. Chapter 81

AN: This has taken entirely too long to get out to you. The main reason is that I started another multi-chapter and Henry's mom has a very different persona. It was difficult to get MaryHelen back, but hopefully I did okay.

Chapter 81

New Year's Day 2004

Elizabeth had been home just a little over a week and she couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. She'd spent almost six months longing to be at home with her family, and now that she was here, she wanted to be anywhere else. She stood in the shower, the water had long ago grown cold and she just became aware of the fact that she was shivering. Elizabeth turned off the water and stepped out. Drying off only seemed to exacerbate the problem. She felt like she couldn't get the sand off. She rubbed and rubbed, but it was still there. Her eyes still burned and the tears fell. Suddenly, Henry's arms were wrapped around her, stilling her hands. "Babe, stop," he pleaded.

She pulled away. "I just want it off," she muttered. "I want to stop feeling it. It's on me."

Henry disappeared for a minute and returned with clothes. "Come on," he said, removing the towel from her hands. "Let's get you dressed. The kids are missing you."

She shook her head violently. "Jason hates me, and the girls. The girls want to be close and I don't. I'm dirty. I don't want it on them. They shouldn't be around me." Reluctantly, she took his old, ratty ROTC sweatshirt from him and slipped it over her body and stepped into the flannel pants he offered.

Henry studied his wife. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and cradled her cheek in his hand. "Baby, did something bad happen when you were there?" It was in that moment she realized what the problem was and she nodded furiously. Henry's heart stopped, his mind going to the darkest places.

Elizabeth took a shuddering breath and fell against Henry. "I authorized torture," she choked out as the sobs forced their way out of her. He held her close, silently thanking God that it wasn't what he thought it might be.

She refused to see anyone "professional" to talk about her issues adjusting. Elizabeth decided "fake it til you make it" was the best method for solving her problems. She coached Stevie's soccer team, chaperoned Allison's preschool field trip, and eventually won Jason over through love and patience. By late spring, he was back to being a full on mama's boy and for all intents and purposes, they looked like the model family. Henry knew though. He knew how Elizabeth struggled. He knew that she slipped out of their bed each night thinking he was asleep and snuck away to sit with all of the horrors she endured in Iraq. When she returned to their bed, she was so emotionally exhausted that she fell into a fitful sleep to catch a few hours before repeating the cycle.

It was the middle of May when Henry finally decided to that he needed to step in. She played a good game and could probably fool most everyone else, but he knew she was no better five months after coming home than she was when she climbed off the plane. Elizabeth left their bed and he gave her a while before following. He found her on the swing on the back deck. She was working on her third beer.

Henry sat down next to her. "Should I be concerned about this?" He nodded toward the empty bottles.

"I don't always do this," she said, her voice seemed detached from her body. Henry found it unnerving.

"No, I'm guessing the scotch nights are worse," he said. Elizabeth's head snapped up.

"What? Are you marking the bottle?" There was a defensive edge in her voice. Henry shook his head. He wasn't going to fight.

"Babe. We've been married for fifteen years. I know what my deployments did to you. I know what losing our baby did. I know what 9/11 did." He put his hand on her upper back, pulling her closer, until their foreheads touched. "I know what Iraq did to you. I'm not marking bottles, but I know that sometimes it gets to be more than you can take. Babe, I'm worried about you. I want to help you. Talk to me."

"I can't talk about it," she whispered.

"Let's try this then. That thing that bothers you the most. Can you change it now?" he asked. She shook her head. "Is there anything you can do to change the outcome of what happened or make it better?" The answer was no. "Now, is there anything that you can do to keep the same thing from happening in the future?" She stopped to think about that one.

"Maybe," she said.

"Perhaps the way out of this isn't to change the past. Instead, change the future. You can't change what happened, but you can advocate for changing the way things are done going forward. Look for peace there." Elizabeth thought about Henry's words. She'd already been thinking of things that she did that were effective. Elizabeth didn't think it would be a stretch to prove the ineffectiveness of physical interrogation tactics.

Elizabeth smiled. "Yeah, maybe. Maybe that would work." She made eye contact with Henry. "Thank you, Henry. Thanks for hanging in there with me."

"I wouldn't want to hang with anyone but you." He took her by the hand and pulled her up, "Come on babe, let's go to bed. You can go fix in the world in the morning."

Four weeks passed and Elizabeth walked down the hallway with purpose. Her phone buzzed in her hand but she ignored it. It had taken a week to gather up the courage to take her report to Director Dalton. If she stopped now, it may take another week to try again. She stopped in front of Margaret's desk, clutching the report. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. At the very least it completely obliterated the current interrogation protocol, and, at worst, it could end her CIA career. "Bess, did you need something?" Margaret asked.

"Uh yeah. I-I mean, yes. Margaret, could you please give this to Director Dalton?" She thrust out the report and Margaret took it from her, and she left her arm extended like she might ask for it back. Margaret gave her a curious look and Elizabeth snapped out of it. "Sorry, Margaret. Thanks." She turned and started walking down the hall when she pulled her phone out of her pocket checking to see who texted.

Elizabeth felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs. Poking the call button, she put the phone to her ear and waited. "Hi, Johnny… What happened… Yes, of course we'll be there. I'm sorry Johnny." Elizabeth's eyes were full of tears, but she started laughing. "I definitely think the amount of grief she gave us was directly proportional to how much she loved us… I know. Let me know the arrangements for sure, but plan on seeing us Friday night. Bye."

She leaned against the wall and checked the time before dialing Henry to make sure he wasn't in class. "Hey babe! To what do I owe the pleasure?" The tiny gasp she let out Immediately alerted him. "What happened?"

"It's Phyllis. She had a heart attack. She died this morning."

"Oh God babe! I'm so sorry. What can I do for you?" Henry asked, knowing there wasn't much he could do.

"Just be there when I get home. Johnny guessed that the funeral will be Saturday, so I told him we'd be down Friday night. He will let me know for sure when he knows."

"Of course babe. I love you. Call me if you need to talk."

"I'll see you tonight. Love you." She ended the call and stepped into the bathroom to put herself back together.

Four days later, they gathered at St. Thomas Aquinas to celebrate Phyllis's life and lay her to rest. Henry sat with his arm wrapped around Elizabeth while she held Jason on her lap, with the girls sitting on either side.

Phyllis had been such a constant in Elizabeth's life for so many years, Elizabeth wasn't sure how she would ever be able to fill the void. Since 9/11, they didn't talk every week and during her assignment in Iraq and since she'd been home, it was even less, but Elizabeth was grateful that she'd called Phyllis to talk that past Sunday. They'd talked for over an hour, catching up on the kids and how things were going at the diner. Even though she'd sold it to Johnny a few years before, Phyllis still waitressed part time for something to do, along with her activities at the church. It had been such a pleasant distraction from the stuff at work and her anxiety surrounding the report.

It was actually Phyllis's words that gave her the strength she needed to submit the report. Phyllis always had that effect on her. Her words were unfiltered and sometimes they hurt, but they were always honest and she never cut Elizabeth any slack, always holding her accountable, wanting more than Elizabeth was comfortable giving. Elizabeth knew that part of the woman she'd become was because of Phyllis. Elizabeth smirked. As pissed off as Phyllis made her, Elizabeth loved her with all her heart. The pain became overwhelming and the tears freely flowed down her cheeks. Henry removed Jason from her lap and pulled her close and she buried her face in his shoulder and gave in to the sorrow.

After the burial, Johnny invited them to the diner. Several of Phyllis's friends and diner regulars were there, many of whom Elizabeth knew or knew of because Phyllis had talked about them. They all told stories and laughed and the kids thought it was hysterical that everyone called their mom "Baby girl," and that she could still wait tables like a pro, filling drinks and clearing tables with great efficiency. They left Charlottesville that night with Elizabeth whispering her thanks to Phyllis for being such a wonderful friend to her all these years.

Phyllis's unexpected death caused Elizabeth to change a habit she'd developed since 9/11. Because she worked so many hours, she let Henry take the kids to see family. She'd only seen Geoffrey a handful of times and Henry's family even less and most of those times were when they came down to visit them. Elizabeth decided that she could no longer afford to do that. Over the next few weeks, Elizabeth cleared a couple weekends completely and they spent their time heading to Connecticut to spend the weekend with Geoffrey and then to PIttsburgh to the McCords.

Geoffrey was fabulous as always and was doing well, even though he was starting to show his age. Otto, Frederick, Manny and Maria were still around and were always happy to spend time with the Lizzie and her family.

It was three weeks later when the McCords hit the doorway of Henry's childhood home, and it was obvious that something was amiss. Patrick was in the front room and welcomed the kids. MaryHelen was conspicuously missing. Patrick brushed it off saying she was taking a nap and would be down later.

Later became a couple hours when MaryHelen finally made an appearance. It was obvious she wasn't feeling well and Patrick moved to help her sit down. As MaryHelen got settled, Maureen breezed through the front door with her kids. "Look who finally decided to grace us with their presence," she said. Henry immediately tensed, and MaryHelen shook her head.

"Maureen," MaryHelen snapped."Take the kids to play outside." Maureen gave the entire group a hard stare before herding the kids toward the kitchen and out the back door. "Please excuse her," MaryHelen said.

"As if we haven't been excusing her behavior for years," Henry bristled.

"Henry, let it be," Elizabeth said, much more concerned with what MaryHelen was about to say rather than focusing on Maureen.

MaryHelen smiled at Elizabeth. Looking down at her hands for a moment, she began to speak. "It was a little over 11 years ago that I had my bout with cancer. I said then that I would never go through it again." Elizabeth reached out to grab Henry's hand, lacing their fingers together, feeling the knot in the pit of her stomach growing by the second. She couldn't even imagine what Henry was feeling in that moment. "And I'm not. I started having a recurrence of symptoms a long time ago, but went to the doctor last year. We made a plan then to just treat the symptoms."

"Mom," Henry started, "You can't."

"Henry," MaryHelen said firmly. "I can, and I am. I've always said that I'll go when it's my time to go. I've already been around longer than the doctor said I would be, so there's nothing saying I won't be around quite a while longer, or not. No one really knows. And we can say that about everyone."

Henry rose abruptly and left the room, pulling away from Elizabeth, who looked back and forth between Henry and MaryHelen and Patrick, unsure of what she was supposed to do. She had known it was coming. In the back of her mind, she had known all along. "You went after we talked?"

MaryHelen nodded. "It was a good thing. I got lots ideas for things to do to make myself feel better. And they've worked for the most part. It's just getting to the point that it is what it is and now it's just pain management."

"Are we the last to know?" Elizabeth asked.

"Shane is bringing Sarah later today, and we'll tell him then. Erin and Maureen already know." Elizabeth stood and went to MaryHelen and placed her hand on her mother-in-law's shoulder.

"I'm going to go find Henry. We'll be back in a bit." She gave MaryHelen a small smile and headed up the stairs. She knocked softly on the door of the guest room where they always slept. When there was no answer, Elizabeth cracked the door and found Henry staring out the window lost in his thoughts.

Elizabeth crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Henry from behind. He immediately turned into her and pulled her close. "Why won't she fight?" he whispered, his face buried in her hair.

"Because she already did and it gave her at least 11 more years. Your mother is a woman of her word. If she told herself that she wasn't going through treatments again, then you know she won't."

"I'm not prepared for Mom to die," Henry said. "I don't want to let go."

"You don't have to yet. Love her hard until she has to go. Perhaps there is just a small benefit to knowing she is ill. You have the chance to let her know how much she means to you."

"It sure doesn't feel that way," Henry murmured. "Just the thought makes me sick. I love her so much."

"I know. Me too." Henry gripped Elizabeth tighter. "Having done this before doesn't make it easier, does it?"

"If anything, it's worse, because I know more about grief, but I'm trying not to think about that. We have to live in the moment, both for your mom and the kids. They need to have good memories." Henry pressed his head to hers.

"The only thanks I can muster are that you will be walking with me."

"Every step," she murmured, kissing his cheek, before pulling him toward the door, back to reality.

January 2005

Elizabeth hung on desperately to Henry's hand as they sat in the second pew of St. Stanislaus Church mourning the passing of the McCord matriarch. The entire church was full. The service was beautiful and meaningful and Elizabeth could barely hold herself together. Henry, on the other hand, was completely emotionless. Seeing Elizabeth watching him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

Over the months, as MaryHelen became sicker, Henry became more withdrawn. Elizabeth had tried to talk to him on multiple occasions, but he told her that he was fine. After so many years together she knew he was nowhere near fine, so she stayed close and waited patiently for him to come to her.

Now, in the days since her passing, Henry had been almost completely mute. Elizabeth struggled with how to help the kids, when she, herself, was flailing and Henry was just absent. After the burial, there was a luncheon hosted by the ladies group at the church. Elizabeth walked through the food line with the kids and helped Jason carry his plate to the table. Once she had them settled, she tried to locate Henry. Deciding that he wasn't in the building, she asked Erin to watch the kids and made her way outside. She scouted around, and as a last ditch effort, she went to the Adoration chapel. Quietly opening the door, her heart broke in two at the sight before her.

Henry sat in the front pew. His head was bowed low, resting in his hands and he was sobbing. Her initial thought was to rush to him, but she decided to give him some time with God. Maybe it would help. Henry had always been devout, but this thing with his mother had shaken him. He'd missed Mass more in the last six months than he had in the nearly 16 years they'd been married. Their kids were confused as to why they weren't going and she didn't know how to address it. She'd even stepped up and taken them a couple times thinking he would see the importance, but it didn't seem to have much impact.

Elizabeth saw the Bible laying on a small table against the wall and she picked it up. She flipped through it and stopped randomly and dropped her finger on the page. She smiled as she thought of MaryHelen and jotted the Bible verse down on the back of a receipt from her pocket.

Making her way to Henry, Elizabeth sat down quietly beside him. He looked up at her and opened his mouth like he was going to to speak, but nothing came out. "How's the conversation going?" she asked.

"I don't think I've ever been so angry in my whole life. Even after Iraq, I was messed up, but not angry. I've been this way for so long I don't know how to feel anything else."

"It takes time. Sometimes a long time. Let me in. You don't need to do this alone." Elizabeth linked her arm through his and leaned against him. "It's alright for us to need each other."

"She knew I loved her, didn't she? I don't think I told her that. I was so wrapped up in myself, I forgot about Mom. What kind of a son am I?"

"She knew. I promise." Elizabeth leaned in and kissed Henry's cheek. "Oh, I have something for you." She handed him the slip of paper. "It's kind of a game that your mom and Maggie played. When one would leave Adoration, she would open the Bible to a random spot and put her finger down just anywhere on the page, write that verse down and give to to the other." Elizabeth handed Henry the folded piece of paper. "I did it for you."

Henry flipped open the paper and smiled. Elizabeth huffed. "You know it's not as much fun when you already know all of the verses." She pushed her shoulder into him and Henry gave her a lopsided grin.

"John 14: 17-18. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. You heard me say 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I'm going back to the Father, for the Father is greater than I." Henry squeezed her hand. "I'll try." His eyes fell on the monstrance in front of him. "If it's okay, I'd like a few more minutes."

Elizabeth rose and looked toward the monstrance. As she turned to walk away, she hoped Henry could find his faith again.


	82. Chapter 82

AN: I apologize for taking so long to update this story. It's almost done. I see one more chapter and an Epilogue. I just checked and it was a year ago yesterday that I started this story. For those that have been with me throughout this year, I want to thank you. This was my first venture into writing since I submitted my thesis over twenty years before. I very much appreciate your support and kind words. They have meant the world to me.

Chapter 82

March 2005

Elizabeth sat at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee that had grown cold hours before. She didn't cry. She didn't move. She didn't think. There was absolutely nothing left. She was empty. She would never admit it, but she felt no joy at all, not even with her children. However, Elizabeth was an expert at masking her emotions, and she put up a good front. During the day, when she was home alone, she dropped the facade that took all of her energy, and sat in the emptiness.

She'd quit her job two weeks before and Elizabeth wished she'd known what giving up the CIA would look like before she did it. She didn't fully realize how much of her life revolved around her career, but that wasn't even the real problem. Her job had been holding her together since MaryHelen's death. It was a constant. She understood the expectations. She was needed, and valued. It kept her busy and took her mind off of her grief and the fact that her marriage was failing.

At home, Henry was withdrawn and, for all intents and purposes, silent. He still hadn't been able to grieve his mother's death. His faith seemed to be nonexistent and he was in a free-for-all. Elizabeth had tried talking, giving him space, yelling, but nothing seemed to reach across the wide spans that now separated them emotionally, and physically.

She stood, dumped the cold coffee down the drain, and made her way to the doorway of their bedroom, where she'd told Henry about the job offer. Station chief. Baghdad. At least one year. Leaning against the doorframe, she replayed the scene in her mind. She didn't know what she thought would happen, but she didn't expect the vitriol she received.

Elizabeth tried to explain the necessity of taking this job. It had to be her. She wrote the proposal. If she didn't go, no one else would make sure the new standards were implemented. No one cared about making the change the way she did. If someone else went, nothing would change, and that was something she could no longer live with. It was go or quit.

Henry, who had barely had a conversation with her since MaryHelen died, suddenly had a lot to say. It would change things. The girls. Elizabeth shook her head trying to rid herself of the memory. "Jason won't even remember you.'

"Stop! Just stop," she'd said. Henry walked out and the silence surrounded them again.

Elizabeth shivered in the doorway and pulled her pink terrycloth robe tightly around her. She glanced up at the clock on the living room wall. She had another hour before she had to pick up the kids from school and daycare, which was just enough time to sit at the kitchen table and let another cup of coffee grow cold.

Days became a week and then two, then a month, then the month that followed. Henry and Elizabeth were just two people occupying the same space, barely speaking, never touching. Elizabeth felt just as hurt and alone as when her parents died.

It was a warm June evening when she sat on the swing on the back porch nursing a lukewarm beer. She heard Henry in the doorway behind her, but she didn't bother to turn around. "You said that if I went to Baghdad, you didn't know what it would look like when I got back.' A single laugh escaped. "I can't imagine it looking much worse than this."

"You could've left and never came back," Henry said, his voice cracking. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you too." Elizabeth heard shuffling and the screen door fall shut. She whipped around, but he was gone. Elizabeth stood and took a deep breath. It was time.

She found him in his office, his head buried in his hands. "Are you ready to do this?" she asked.

"I'm sorry I made you hate me," he said, not moving from his position.

"I could never hate you Henry." He looked up at her and Elizabeth moved to sit in front of him on the edge of his desk. "I don't like the way things went down, but there's not much that can be done about that now." She took a deep breath. "I know you miss your mom terribly." In the soft evening light filtering in through the curtains, Elizabeth swore she could see Henry break. Suddenly he pulled her off the desk into his lap and clung to her. His sobs ripped through his body shaking them both.

Henry held her so tight she could barely breathe. "I didn't want you to go," he shuddered. "What if you didn't come home to us? Without you, I don't know who I am. I need you Elizabeth." He sobbed into her chest "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I-I didn't think it would be this bad. I knew you loved your job, but in my mind, it was just a job. That was dumb. I was blinded by my desire to keep you close. I should've known how this would hurt you. I wish I could make it better."

"I've been so lost. You're trying to cope with your mom's death and you were so angry with me. I just-we just both shut down." She cupped his face and turned it to her. When their eyes met, she said, "I love you Henry. And I need you, so very much. We need to find us again, and work through our hurt."

She sat on his lap, staring down into his face. She saw his expression soften, and that was her cue. Lowering her head, she pressed her lips to his. When he didn't resist, she deepened the kiss, running her tongue across his bottom lip. "Let me in Henry. We need each other."

Henry stood abruptly, nearly dumping Elizabeth off his lap. She thought he was going to leave and the lump immediately closed up her throat making it hard to breathe. Instead, he closed his hands around her biceps and pushed her against the wall. He buried his tongue in her mouth and she eagerly reciprocated.

It was rushed and desperate and afterwards they hung on each other gasping for breath. "Are we okay?" Henry asked before kissing her sweaty forehead.

"No, but we'll get there," she whispered against him. Pushing him back, she looked up at him. "Will you hold me?"

Henry nodded and bent down to collect their clothes before taking her hand. "Let's go." They slipped between the sheets and Elizabeth curled into Henry's chest. He wrapped his arms around her and for the first time in months she relaxed.

Elizabeth rolled over the next morning and shoved her glasses on her face, checking the time. She did a double-take. 11 am. She bolted upright, wondering how she'd managed to sleep past the kids getting up, and how come no one had come to get her. Swinging her feet to the floor, she saw the note on the bedside table. Sweeping it into her hand she squinted her still drowsy eyes, and read- _You were actually sleeping this morning and I couldn't bear to wake you. I took the kids with me. Love, Henry_

In reality, it was such a simple act. It was something that each one had done for the other countless times in the many years they'd been together, but it seemed monumental given the distance that had grown between them. Elizabeth picked up her phone and typed out a text. _I love you._ A few minutes later she returned from the bathroom to find his response. _We're going to be okay._ Tears filled her eyes and for the first time in such a long time, she thought Henry might be right.

Feeling better rested and lighter than she had in a long time, Elizabeth had an inkling to do something she hadn't done since she was young. Quickly digging in her closet, she pulled out an old pair of jeans and her boots. Throwing her hair up in a ponytail, she tore out of the house and took off across town. Thirty minutes later she pulled into the parking lot at Little Burgundy Farm. She was met by an older man near the barn door. "May I help you?" he asked.

"Can I ride?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know. Can you?" he said and Elizabeth grinned at him.

"That's great. I've been known to say that to my kids. Yes, I can ride. May I ride?"

It was only a few minutes, and she was in the barn and chose a young mare to saddle. The man, and even Elizabeth herself, were a little shocked at how quickly she retrieved her equestrial skills, saddling the horse quite adeptly for not having done it in twenty years.

Elizabeth led the mare out of the barn and the man handed her a clipboard. "Liability ma'am," he said. She quickly signed and mounted the horse.

"Is there anywhere that I can run her?" Elizabeth asked. The man looked skeptical.

"Use your head and don't get yourself killed," he said.

Elizabeth smirked and gave him a thumbs up. She headed out, following the trail until she came to an open meadow. The horse paused, whipping her head around and began pawing at the ground. Elizabeth smiled, "You want to run too, don't you?" She patted the horse's neck. "Then let's run." Elizabeth nudged the mare, who took off at a canter. Elizabeth leaned in, pressing her heels in more firmly and the horse tore out, quickly increasing speed.

Elizabeth held on tightly to the reins with one hand and gripped the racing horse's mane with the other. The warm breeze whipped her ponytail around making the end smack her in the cheek. All of her effort was focused on being on the horse in the moment and she felt freer than she had in years. God, she'd missed this. When the mare started to tire, she decreased speed until the horse was back at a trot. It was an hour later that she returned to the barn.

"How she do for you?" the man asked as Elizabeth dismounted.

"She was great. It's been a long time and it was much needed." Elizabeth led the mare into the barn and helped brush her down. Looking at the time, she saw that she needed to go and thanked the man. On her drive to school to get the kids, she thought about her ride and an idea started to form.

Elizabeth was cuddled up on the couch with the kids watching a movie when Henry walked in the door. "Hello family," he called out. All three kids barreled off the couch to meet their father. Elizabeth stood and turned to face him. When their eyes met, Henry couldn't keep the smile from his face. He crossed the room to take her into his arms. Pulling her in close, he whispered, "You're back." He buried his face in her neck, holding her tight. "I love you so much."

She pulled away from Henry, her eyes still shining. "Something happened today and I want to talk about it." She watched the concern wash over him. Elizabeth shook her head and placed her hand on his arm. "It's not bad." She surveyed him. "At least I don't think it's bad. Tonight, okay?"

They moved through the evening more comfortably than they had in a long time. It was the small things: his hand on the small of her back as he passed behind her in the kitchen, her hand brushing his knee while they were eating, the hip bump as they did the dishes. Now Henry sat on the end of the bed waiting for her to come back from making sure the kids were asleep. He rose as she stepped into the doorway. "How was your day?" she asked.

"Mine was the same as usual. It's your day that I want to hear about," he said, reaching out to take her hand. Meeting him halfway, he caught hold of her fingers and pulled her to the bed. She scooted to the middle, criss crossing her legs. Henry joined her, taking her hand.

"Thanks for letting me sleep. I didn't realize how much I needed it. On a whim, I went out and did something that I haven't done since before me parents died." Henry looked at her quizzically. "I went horseback riding."

"Good for you babe," Henry said sincerely. "It was obviously good for you. You're practically glowing."

"It was." She took a deep breath. Now for the hard part. "I didn't realize how much I missed it-how much I needed it." She dipped her head, focusing on her hands still laying in Henry's. "I want the kids to have that. I want them to grow up like I did."

She felt Henry's eyes boring into the top of her head. She finally looked up, meeting his gaze. "I sense that this is more than you want to take the kids for horseback riding lessons." He saw the wavering in her expression. "What is it that you want?"

Elizabeth set her jaw. This was it. The moment of truth. "I want to sell the house and buy a farm-a horse farm."

Henry was stunned. Of all the things he thought she might say, that wasn't it. "Are you sure? We don't know the first thing about running a farm."

"We can learn. We can look for something close to UVA. Think about how nice it would be not to have the long commute. I can get my doctorate. Maybe I can teach at UVA. I'll give riding lessons. I don't know Henry, but something has to change and I felt better today than I have for a long time. I need to be in a better place if we are going to get back to us."

She studied him as he thought it over. Finally, he squeezed her hands. "I'll ask around tomorrow and see if I can find us a realtor. You start packing."

Elizabeth grinned at him and fell back on the bed laughing. Henry climbed on top of her. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"We're crazy," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Thank you."


	83. Chapter 83

AN: I find that I'm getting a little sentimental as this one comes to an end. I had no idea when I started this little project that it would end up being over 80 chapters and 200,000 words. It appears I'm wordy! LOL Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me. I appreciate the time the readers have put in to this story and the reviews I've received. They mean a lot. Thank you for joining me on this ride.

Chapter 83

Shoving the last piece of toast in her mouth, Elizabeth quickly swallowed. "Henry, don't forget that I'm going into DC this afternoon after class to have dinner with the gang."

Henry stepped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her slim waist. "Spy reunion," he said, his voice taking on a clandestine tone.

"It's Juliet's farewell dinner. I'll probably be home late," she said, hoping the tinge of guilt she felt was undetectable in her voice.

"We'll just be unpacking," he said. Groans from the kids echoed through the kitchen.

"The only thing that's making this tolerable is that I now have my own room," Stevie said.

"And two more horses come on Saturday," Allison chimed in.

Elizabeth looked at Henry and he grinned at her. "I have a ten minute commute every day. I'm good."

"How about you, Jase? How are you liking the move and the new house?"

Jason shrugged, "It's okay. I already have a friend at school and I like that you're happy again." Jason reached up to wrap his arms around Elizabeth's waist. She scooped him up and sat him on the counter.

"I love you, baby boy," she said, hugging him tight. Setting him back on his feet, she spoke. "Now, I'm off, guys. Dad's going to take you to school. I have an early date with some international law books. I love you." She swooped through the kitchen dispensing kisses. When she reached Henry, he pulled her close. "This was a good change. I think we'll like it here."

It was well after midnight when Elizabeth unceremoniously shed her clothing by the side of the bed before tugging on a t-shirt, and slipping in between the sheets next to Henry. Pressing herself to his back, she placed a kiss on his shoulder blade and ran her fingers down his side, letting her hand rest on his waist.

Instinctively, he rolled into her and mumbled, "How was everyone?"

"It was good. I'm glad I went. Juliet was happy." She rested her forehead against Henry's.

"And you? How are you?" Henry asked, pushing in to press a kiss against the corner of her mouth.

Elizabeth sighed. "I miss it Henry. I know I'll get to a place where I don't or at least not as much, but right now I do. How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replied, his lips taking hers in, kissing her passionately. "You taste like wine."

"Your diversionary tactics won't work with me Dr. McCord." His hand made its way under her shirt, cupping her breast. She swallowed the moan and placed her hand on his, stilling him. She shook her head. She wasn't going to be persuaded to drop the subject again. "You haven't been to Mass since the funeral. The kids have all but stopped asking why they aren't going."

Henry tensed and rolled away from her, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I said I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But, you're not fine." She moved to kneel behind him, placing her chin on his shoulder. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to say." He shrugged as if he had no idea what he could possibly add to the conversation.

Elizabeth scooted around and sat next to him. "Your faith, and the way you practice it, is an integral part of who you are. You can't just ditch it because you are going through a hard time." Henry gave her a hard look.

"Really? You're going there? You, the one who has danced around your faith, or lack thereof, the entire time we've been together. And suddenly you're telling me how I need to rely on my faith." Henry spat.

"It's not the same and you know it. I never had any kind of faith and was trying to get over the loss of my parents. You, you were going to be a priest. Seems like it should be a little more difficult to make that foundation crumble," Elizabeth shot back.

"The foundation is fine. I believe the same things I've always believed." Henry noticeably didn't make eye contact.

"So what is it then?" she asked. Her tone had already softened, as had his. They didn't have a desire to fight. They had been distant for too long and their closeness was new. Neither one seemed willing to chance going back.

"Mom was so strong in her faith. She drew her strength from Mass. I just feel anger and emptiness when I even think about going." He looked up and met Elizabeth's intense gaze. "I don't think I can go."

"And what about the kids?" she asked. "We're supposed to be raising them in the faith."

Henry shrugged. "I don't know." His shoulders slumped and he leaned into Elizabeth. "I just don't know," he whispered.

"Then we'll work on it together. We'll figure something out." Pressing a kiss to his forehead, she said, "I don't want to see you just give up your faith. It's an important part of who you are and we made a commitment." Henry nodded against her and they shifted back to their spots in the bed. Holding onto each other, they fell asleep.

Elizabeth's work on her doctoral project proceeded at a fairly quick pace. She was able to use most of the research she conducted at the CIA for her report regarding use of enhanced interrogation. She completed the study of scholarly materials regarding interrogation tactics and found them woefully lacking in practical application. It became a focus of her new research and thesis project.

At only a year into her doctoral work, she was offered a teaching position at Piedmont Virginia Community College teaching lower level Political Science classes. It wasn't particularly riveting coursework, but she enjoyed getting to know her students and sharing stories of her time in the CIA. She found that she had an aptitude for captivating a classroom and making the coursework interesting to the students. She quickly became a favorite instructor at the college.

She and Henry worked hard to be open and available to each other. Because her thesis work and teaching was so much less stressful than her previous job, they found it easier to find time for each other. Slowly, they became stronger than they had been in many years.

Elizabeth pressed Henry to attend Mass each week and most of the time she gave up and took the kids herself. In an ironic turn of events, it was Elizabeth who was the driving force behind the kids' faith formation. She made sure that they attended all of the necessary religious education classes now that they no longer attended a Catholic school. Elizabeth attended the parent meetings, and it was generally assumed that she was the Catholic parent. One evening there was an awkward situation when Elizabeth told Jason's religion teacher that she wasn't Catholic after the teacher had argued with and embarrassed Jason. As they drive home that night, Elizabeth waited for the fall out from their almost 11 year old.

"Why didn't you do it?" Jason asked, his head turned away from his mother.

"Do what?"

"Become Catholic. Stevie said that you took all of the classes and were supposed to do it before Ali was born, but she came early and then you just didn't do it. I want to know why you went through the whole thing and then just gave up."

Elizabeth sighed. This was a topic she hadn't given too much voice to. Even Henry had never point blank asked her why. "It was hard when Ali was born. She was early and tiny and I could've died." Jason whipped his head around to stare at her. "Oh, I guess we never actually told you that. Well, it happened and I ended up being fine, but that's not exactly the point. Sometimes, when people have an experience where they could have died, they grow deeper in their faith. For the most part, it was the opposite for me. It made me realize that God isn't a part of who I am except in terms of who God is for the people I love. When I met your dad, God and I were at odds. I blamed God for my parents' deaths and then also some of the things that happened after that. But your dad had such strong and deep convictions in his faith. He loved God and I loved him, so they kind of came as a package deal. Over the years, God and I have come to an understanding. I let Him do His thing and make sure I do right by you three kids and He leaves me be."

"So you make us go to this stuff because of some unwritten, unsubstantiated idea you have about including God in our lives, who coincidentally, you don't believe in. That's only a little hypocritical." Jason folded his arms across his chest and turned away from her.

Elizabeth clenched her teeth together. He had a point, but he didn't really get it. That hurt. She felt her chest tighten and she realized it was good that Henry hadn't been the one to ask because she didn't think she'd actually share with him, but Jason, that was a different story.

She pulled into a parking lot and parked the car. Jason tensed and grew visibly uneasy. "This is going to be fun," he muttered under his breath. Elizabeth heard the disrespectful tone and under normal circumstances would've called him on it, but she had a bigger issue to deal with.

"Jase," she started, reaching her hand across to lay it on his arm. "I need you to look at me." She waited until he shifted around. "You're right. I get that it seems hypocritical for me to try and make sure you have something that I don't have and don't want." She sighed. This sounded better in her head than it was coming out of her mouth. "The thing is, you never know what hardships you are going to endure. I was only a few years older than you when my parents went out and never came home. I don't know if there's anything that would have made it easier, but I was so woefully unprepared for that and the next several years." Elizabeth looked at her son earnestly. "If there is something that I can equip you with that might make it easier to cope should the unthinkable happen, I'm going to do it. You may not like it and it may not work, but it won't be because I didn't try."

Jason opened his mouth to argue but after noting the anguish on his mother's face, he turned back to the window and mumbled, "Alright."

Walking into the house, Jason headed upstairs without acknowledging Henry. Henry shot a questioning look at his wife. She shrugged and followed Jason. Henry finished up what he was doing and made his way to their bedroom. Elizabeth had already changed and was brushing her teeth. Henry steadied himself against the door frame of their bathroom. "What happened?"

Elizabeth looked up at him before spitting into the sink. "Nothing really Henry," she answered stepping around him, heading toward the bed.

"It feels like something happened," Henry insisted, moving toward the bed helping toss the throw pillows off the bed.

"Well. I don't know what to tell you. You did nothing," Elizabeth chucked the last three pillows across the room and slipped beneath the covers. Henry stood there a minute longer hoping she would share, but she said nothing.

He shrugged and finally left to get himself ready for bed. When he got in beside her, Henry placed his hand on her arm. "Let me know when you're ready to talk," he said, leaning in to kiss her chastly.

She opened her eyes to look at him and suddenly tears sprang to her eyes. Elizabeth shook her head violently and sat up, angrily swiping the tears from her eyes. "You would think after all these years I could talk about them without it ending up like this." Her breath shuddered as she exhaled. "It pisses me off. I'm stronger than this."

"What went on?" Henry asked, pulling himself close to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

She shrugged him off and ignored the question, instead saying, "I didn't sign up for this Henry. We each have different jobs in our marriage. Jobs that suit us and it works. It's one of the reasons it has always worked. I do laundry, you cook. I pay the bills, you-" she trailed off. "For better or worse Henry. I'm here for it, but you have to know how ill prepared I am for this. I'm failing and I desperately do not want to fail. This is too important." Her eyes met his. "I need you to fix this thing between you and God."

Henry couldn't hide his shock. "I have never once tried to pressure you about your faith, and yet you feel the need to pressure me about mine."

Elizabeth squirmed under his stare. "Kind of. A little bit." She sighed. "Yes. I get that it seems hypocritical. Wow, twice in one night," she muttered. "But at some point, when the person you love the most is lost at sea, you need to give him a little push to right the boat."

"I don't feel-" started, but Elizabeth cut him off.

"Feelings are overrated," she said. "We use feelings as an excuse not to do the hard things that will ultimately be good for us. You and God and getting back to it is one of those hard things."

Henry looked annoyed. "Where'd you get that nugget of knowledge?"

"Your mom," she said softly. "Ironically enough, she said it in reference to me fighting God's presence in my life. Perhaps this lecture is only used for this particular topic." She shrugged. " I know it will be hard, and I'm here for you, but this isn't something I can do. The kids need you to do this and so do I."

Henry sat on the edge of the bed for quite a while with Elizabeth laying against his side. Suddenly, he turned and kissed her. "I'll be back after a while." He quickly pulled on his sweats, a t-shirt, and running shoes before rushing out of their room. Elizabeth heard the front door close and she leaned over to grab her phone off the nightstand and typed out a text.

 _You can find God anywhere, not just in the Adoration chapel._

Ten minutes later her phone dinged.

 _It's been long enough that we need a face to face._

She nodded to herself and lay back against the pillows and relaxed. Tomorrow would hopefully be a new day.


	84. Chapter 84

AN: And this is it Just a little over a year since it started. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Epilogue

2014

Elizabeth sat in the church waiting for her old informant, Anton, to arrive. There was going to be some arm twisting involved in what she was about to do, but she felt more at ease in this moment than she had the previous two months. Her move to the State Department was unexpected to say the least. She'd become comfortable in her role as parent, horse owner and teacher. Over time, she found other ways to fill the gaps left by her abrupt CIA departure and she was happy. It wasn't the same, but it was good. But more importantly, she and Henry were good. It had taken a long time to get to that point, but they did. They always did. That was the constant she could count on.

Now, with her family was still reeling from the move, she wondered if taking the Secretary of State position was wise. When Conrad left the farmhouse that day, Elizabeth knew why he'd come in person. He played on her loyalty to country, to him. Even though she always maintained her poker face, he knew that it nearly killed her to leave the company. He knew that she would have a very hard time saying no to him. If she were honest with herself, Elizabeth knew she should be irritated at his manipulation. It may have been a little underhanded, but Conrad wasn't wrong.

Elizabeth didn't really know what to think about the job offer, but couldn't help but be a little flattered that Conrad sought her out, given all of the other more qualified political options he had. She wasn't really sure what she expected Henry to say, but when they slipped into bed that night, he took her in his arms. "You're going to tell him yes, aren't you?"

Elizabeth was surprised. "You think I should?"

"You know you want to."

"I want us to be okay. It's not worth it to give up what we have. I won't do that," she murmured, her head resting on Henry's chest.

"I made you walk away once. I won't make that mistake again. Go be Secretary of State and kick ass doing it." Elizabeth pulled back to look at him.

"Do you think I can really do this job?" Doubt crept in where flattery once lay.

"I know you can do anything you set your mind to. I don't know anyone who is as well versed in foreign affairs as you are, and Conrad is right. You have a gift Elizabeth. It's time you use it. I'll make sure the kids are on board. You call Conrad in the morning."

"Henry, the kids are older now. I want to make sure they are alright with this. We'll have to move. Noodle has a boyfriend, Stevie's in college, and Jason is so Jason. This will be an affront to everything he believes."

"We'll lead with no more mucking the stalls." Henry kissed her forehead. "It will be fine, but if you want, you can present it tomorrow morning before Stevie goes back to Lovell." Elizabeth nodded and let her mind wander.

Now, two months later, she was trying to free two stupid kids who'd unknowingly got themselves tossed into a Syrian prison. Anton would help her, even if he didn't know it yet. She walked into the church half an hour early because she needed to do a little thinking of her own.

It had been a while since she'd been in church. Thinking back, it was roughly six months ago when both Jason and Allison were confirmed. Before that was Geoffrey's funeral. Elizabeth let out a long sigh. A very aggressive form of brain cancer had taken him. It was only a few months from diagnosis to his death. Brushing a tear away, she realized that she was thankful that it all happened when it did. She was able to take time off to spend with him and was there at the end.

She thought back to how they'd almost lost him years before, and she was so grateful that she was able to build a relationship with her uncle and he had the opportunity to see her children grow. He'd passed leaving both her and Will with quite a large sum of money. It allowed them to purchase a much nicer home in Georgetown than what they would otherwise be able to afford. They could then send Allison and Jason to private school. She smiled. Geoffrey would have been proud to see how things worked out with her.

Henry was back to quoting saints and working on his next book. He had found a new normal. It wasn't quite what it had been before MaryHelen died, but Henry seemed to be happy and at peace. That was what Elizabeth cared about the most.

Anton came in and took his place next to her, shaking her from her thoughts. They did their business and she rose to leave. In the narthex, she passed the votive candles. Elizabeth stopped and paused a moment, causing Matt to ask. "Ma'am? Is everything alright?"

Elizabeth nodded and took a step back. "Can either of you gentlemen spot me a ten? I left my purse in the SUV." Fred quickly fished a ten dollar bill from his front pocket and handed it to Elizabeth.

She nodded her thanks and pushed it into the donation slot at the back of the votives. She lit candles for her parents, Phyllis, MaryHelen and Geoffrey. She thought about each of them and how they impacted her life. She silently offered up her version of a prayer. "Be with me and help me do this right for my family and my country." After a moment, she stepped away and her DS agents got the door. Once in the SUV, she pulled a ten from her wallet and handed it to Fred. "Thanks for covering me." She smiled as she caught his glance.

"I wasn't aware you were religious ma'am," Fred commented.

She relaxed back against the seat. "I'm not, but I've got a thing with candles. They bring light to the darkness and I think we could all use a bit of that."


End file.
